Original subtitles

Believe me, Mom, I'm no more thrilled about this than you are. But, Claire...

Football! She has a friend who plays in the league. She went to a couple of

games and decided she wanted to try it, too.

I just never thought I'd be the day.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Grandma.

Oh, Rudy, come here. Let Grandma take that thing off your head and give you a

kiss. Cliff.

Hi, Mom.

Mom, she's amazing.

I think she's the fastest one on the team. She was okay.

Okay. This girl is going to be a star. Her first practice and coach put her in

the starting lineup.

She's okay.

Are you okay?

I'm fine. Want to come and see me play?

Oh, Rudy, are you sure you want to go back out there and play again?

Yeah. Huh? What are you worried about?

This girl has so much padding that she'd never get hurt. She's perfectly safe.

And besides, she's so quick, no one would ever get her. She's okay.

Rudy, why don't you go upstairs and take off your uniform and take a bath?

Okay. Come on, kiddo. I'll help you with your pads.

So, Rudy did well?

She's okay.

Cliff, why don't you just let it out?

Let it what it out it? Let it out.

You know you are dying to tell us how great Rudy was today.

Please,

Cliff. If you don't, you're going to explode.

Well, I'll tell you.

Maybe every 500 years or so,

An athlete comes along.

And this time, this athlete has come in a different looking package.

This athlete has the speed, the moves, and most importantly,

the heart.

And you can see all that after one practice.

The coach and I are very, very sorry that she decided so late to go out for

team.

Because she was out at practice five minutes, took the ball twice, scored two

touchdowns. And that is why I have given her the nickname

the Gray Ghost.

The Gray Ghost.

Named after another Huxtable, namely her father.

They have a father who's so enthusiastic about her activities. Thank you, my

mother -in -law.

Claire, I always liked your husband, but I think he's strange.

we go to the bass drum.

Hi, Dad, I see you.

Hey, Dad.

And from the bass drum we go to the tom -tom.

And from the tom -tom we go to the cymbal.

Why are you guys watching this? Well, it's educational, dear.

Well, what else is on?

Nothing.

Dad?

You just said there was nothing on.

Well, what do we do if we don't watch television?

Talk.

Talk? Yeah.

Sandra, how's school?

Great. Theo?

Duh. Really?

What's the matter?

Miss Westlake, my math teacher.

Miss Westlake is tough.

I know you think she's the best teacher in the school, but she did something

today that's going to change your mind.

What? She called me up to the chalkboard to do math problems.

And then she told me I had to stay up here until I did it.

And? And on top of that, she had the nerve to turn her back on me and start

teaching the class.

She left you up there doing work while she taught the class. Hello.

You mean she didn't wait for you to finish the problem?

No.

How long did it take you?

I was up there the whole period.

What would have happened if you told her that you couldn't do the problem?

She would have let me sit down.

Well, why didn't you tell her that?

I couldn't do that, Dad.

Then she'd think I didn't know the answer.

Well, did you know the answer?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Does this woman call on you a lot?

Yes. I see. Well, does she make you nervous?

I get nervous just thinking about her. Theo, I think I know why you're not

performing well in class.

Why? Well, it sounds to me as if you're suffering from performance anxiety.

That's an interesting diagnosis.

What is it? Well, you have trouble performing before an authority figure

you're intimidated.

That's it.

That's what I have.

The way to deal with your problem, it's called positive visualization.

Great. I'm ready to try anything.

Okay, here's what you do.

You create a picture in your mind. You visualize yourself standing in front of

the chalkboard, working the problem correctly.

And then you visualize Miss Westlake standing there smiling with her arms

ready to embrace you.

Oh, Dodger, stop.

I think that visualizing Miss Westlake is not your problem.

I think that when you're standing up at the board, your problem is that you

don't know what you're doing.

You see, what Theo needs to do is visualize himself up in his bedroom

his homework.

Visualize opening the... Have you ever opened up one of his books? Open up one

of his books upstairs. You can hear the book open.

I think you ought to come along with me because I want you to visualize yourself

doing your homework and visualize the fact that you are really doing it and

visualize your father driving you to a college campus.

I want you to visualize good -looking women who want to date

boys who visualize themselves with good grades.

I can visualize that.

All right.

And I could also visualize myself in the nice sports car to drive him around in.

Good. And I also want you to visualize yourself paying for it.

Now, Rudy, when you score your first touchdown,

here's what you do.

up where's mom in the kitchen okay everybody go get in the car all right

all right now look

everybody's in the car come on if you don't mind i think i'd rather stay here

but today is your daughter's football debut today we're going to watch the

ghost gallop i really don't think i could take this Yeah, but you said to

when our son was going to play, Cliff, I think it's important that the father be

down there to watch the boy. Now, I'm telling you, Claire, I think it's

important that the mother go down and watch the daughter. Now, come on. All

right. Okay, I'm going to go, but I'm telling you right now, if anybody,

at all tries to hurt my baby, I'm going to go out there and stop them.

This is going to be a wonderful game for your mother, running out on the field,

throwing somebody's child up in the stands. Come on.

get to diving into the end zone.

Let me kiss it and make you feel better.

Okay? Okay. Why don't you go upstairs and take this off?

Take a bath.

Okay.

You are pitiful.

Is this the same woman a couple of hours ago? I don't want to vent my time on

the football field. I'm a big man. I'll kill somebody.

I was concerned. But Cliff, four touchdowns, I mean, faith that Rudy is

I loved it. Especially, I loved that move where she faked them all out.

My baby grabbed the ball, ran to the left, spun around, ran to the right,

the field to the goal!

That's my child out there having fun!

I think the mother had more fun than the child.

enjoying a football game that much?

I beg your pardon?

Oh, well, that's except for your game.

I enjoyed your game, but for different reasons. See, you were entertaining.

You gave the crowd thrill and laughter.

Where did the laughter come in?

Well, not ever with the Westfield game.

The Westfield game, I scored two touchdowns. That's right.

Yes. And they scored three off your fumble.

It was raining and the ball was slippery.

I see. Well, then there was the Harrison game.

The Harrison game? Yes, the starting kickoff, the ball landed on your head.

The ball did not land on my head. It bounced off of my helmet because the sun

was directly in my eye.

So you had trouble on rainy and sunny days.

Well, what about the Groverton gang?

In the snow.

And I was good in the snow.

No, Cliff. In the snow, everybody looked as bad as you.

Don't ever kiss me again.

What are you doing?

Talking to Robert.

He doesn't have this album.

I've seen the phone used for many things, but never as a radio station.

Now, I want you to bring the receiver down and sing the national anthem to

Robert and tell him that your broadcasting for the day is finished.

Hello, Robert?

I'll call you back later, okay? No, no, no, no, no. You're not calling him back.

Just a second.

Hi, Robert.

This is Dr.

Huxtable. How are you?

Listen to me carefully.

The Vanessa Broadcasting Company has now concluded all of its broadcast...

for today.

Pick her up tomorrow at 8 o 'clock to walk her to school, alright?

You're going to watch football with me?

Yeah.

Who's playing?

The Bears against the Giants. Oh, this is going to be a great game.

How do you know this is going to be a great game?

Well, they look like they know what they're doing.

Now, who's got the ball?

The Bears, dear.

And who is playing Rudy's position?

It's number 34. His name's Walter Payton.

Yeah!

Did it!

Nine yards. That was me.

Nine yards? Mm -hmm. And he got tackled? Yes.

Rudy's better than him.

Why is that man moving right there?

That's called a man in motion, and that is to confuse the defense.

I know Rudy's team could use this, because they're going to play their last

against the Cougars on Saturday, and the Cougars are...

Now, who told you this? Peter's mother. She said last year they were the

champions. This year they're three and one, and they even have cheerleaders.

Yes, but they don't have three feet.

Hey, Ballgate, who's playing?

They're giants.

I heard of them.

Now, look, Denise. Oh, see that guy right there? Mm -hmm. Now, the Colts put

that man in motion to confuse the defense.

Ah, maybe you should be coaching Rudy's team.

Maybe next year.

Which one is Rudy's position?

Oh, Walter's somebody, honey, but he got tackled.

He was not as good as you.

I don't like those costumes. The blue clashes with the green.

Yeah, but that black does make them look thin.

I like the pants.

Yeah.

Now, Denise, you see that one right there? Mm -hmm.

Number 16.

Yeah. He's cute.

Yes, he is.

How are you feeling, Rudy?

Fine. It was rough out there today, huh?

I know.

We'll get him next time.

But, Rudy, there isn't going to be a next time. Today was the last game of

season.

Oh, can I take my backpack?

Come on, I'll help you change.

Come on, kiddo, I'll give you a rubdown.

Man, both Cougars had their act together.

Yeah.

It's a miracle we only lost 47 to 6.

Sometimes the clock is merciful.

Where was she when?

They waited for her.

Well, I think they need to change the rules. I think they need to make a new

rule that only one person can tackle at a time.

Did you see the way they piled up on my baby? Did you see that?

And that little number 36.

Frog -eyed thing. The way he threw my bag.

Come on, take that child and just smack him.

Here, that's the way they tackle. The boy was only doing his job.

Mm -mm, mm -mm.

This game is all about who you can knock down, run over, jump up and down on and

kill. It is animalistic.

The game is not animalistic. It's the same game as it was last week. And don't

eat anymore cooked...

cougars were not out there to have fun today because they were not they only

cared about one thing they cared about winning that's all they cared about and

they cared a lot well personally i think there's too much emphasis placed on

sports in this country anyway i mean the money generated from one weekend of

sports attendance could fund a good ballet company for 10 years that's not

this is about uh this is not about football

It's not about funding football. It's not about anybody being animalistic.

about us. Now, when this child first went out for football, we all said, this

a little girl. She's going to get hurt. It's a dangerous sport.

Then she begged us, and we backed off of what we said. We let her go out, go at

touchdowns in practice. She became great, and then everybody said, yeah,

feet, sweet feet.

Then we came up to this game, and the cool...

All of a sudden, my daughter wants all of the money from football to be given

ballet.

That's not what it's about. It's about us. We're the people who changed our

minds. And I think that we all should get up from here and go up and apologize

to Rudy.

Apologize for what?

I have no idea.

Cliff, what are you doing?

I think I'm going to have these bronzed.

Because she's not going to play anymore.

And she can one day put these up on a mantelpiece and tell whoever what she

You know, in a week or two, she might be interested in something else.

Like ballet.

Dear, you know, you can still get hurt in ballet.

You could pull a muscle, or when you do the, you know, the, what do they call

it? When they jump up the thing and the man could forget to catch it.

Who is it?

Me. Come in, me.

I can't sleep. Vanessa's snoring.

So? Can I sleep in your bed? No.

You like football?

Yeah. Well, you're getting a 15 -yard penalty for interference.

Good night, Mommy.

Good night, Cliff.

It's a cold -blooded family, boy.

The Nancy Show is here in front of a live studio audience.