Original subtitles

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

Everyone, guess what? I have a new passion.

I want you to see the poster I'm going to hang in my room.

Oh, teen idols sure have changed.

Isn't it amazing? It's the human body.

Thank God for skin.

What is this for, honey?

Oh, I'm taking an evening course in shiatsu massage at school.

Yeah, it's a special this week at Grant. If you take shiatsu, you can drop

history, English, and math.

What's shiatsu?

Shiatsu is a process of pressing certain nerve points and releasing tension,

thus allowing bodily energies to flow freely.

Just don't get them all over the floor.

You see, the human body is divided up into meridians, which correspond with

organ and muscle group.

For instance, the foot alone contains the pressure points that affect every

of the major organs. Let me see that. Oh, darn.

I think I just stubbed my kidney.

It's amazing how it works. Here, let me show you, Alex. Oh, I can see it now.

Alex Keaton killed by Vulcan nerve pinch.

Oh, no, this can't be.

What is it, Mom?

Well, it says here that on the corner of Oak and Clinton, they're considering

building another mini mall.

What? When?

Oak and Clinton. Isn't that where your Cavanaugh building is? Yes, it is. Now

says they're going to tear it down and put up another one of those obnoxious

mini malls.

Mother!

Oh, please, Mallory. The last thing that neighborhood needs is another bunch of

silly stores.

There are no silly stores.

There are only silly shoppers.

Look, Mallory, I have nothing against malls per se, except the Kavanaugh

building is very special to me.

It's the first building I ever designed.

Boy, well, you never forget your first building.

Are they going to tear it down?

Well, it sure seems like it.

Well, look at the bright side, Mom.

At least it didn't fall down on its own.

Look, Alex, I don't expect... I expect you to understand my feelings about

But this is not just a building. This is part of our family history. You were

only two years old.

Mallory was just born.

It's a very special time.

Lise.

To everything.

Turn, turn, turn.

There is a season.

And a time to every... Oh, shut up.

The whole point of shiatsu is to help you relax so you can realize your

potential. Ah.

Okay. Now we're going to work on your spinal meridian and align your cervical

vertebrae.

The square root of 1 ,595 equals 39 .93745.

I can't believe that came out of him.

I can't believe he added in them in the first place.

Doesn't that feel great, Nick? You see, I cleared a path for energy to flow

right to your brain.

There must have been quite some blockage there.

Alex, look at you. You're a ball of tension.

Here, let me work on you. Get away from me, okay? I know the square root of 1

,595.

Alex, come on. I'm getting better at this. Just let me do it. All right,

okay, okay. Just to humor you.

Go ahead.

Subaru me.

Shiatsu. God bless you.

All right, okay.

Okay.

What the hell was that?

See, don't you feel more relaxed?

Mel, I... I... I can't straighten

up, Mel.

Oops.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come here, Alex. I'll fix you up, huh?

No, no, no, no.

No, I'll straighten myself up, okay?

There, I feel fabulous.

It's fine.

Who's next?

No, thank you, Mel. I had shiatsu for lunch.

Hi, guys. Hey, Dad, how about you? How about a little shiatsu?

Well,

Mel, I... Oh, come on, Dad. Look what it did for Nick.

Thank you. I'll pass.

Take a look at this. I want to show you something adorable.

Oh, no. Baby pictures. Mom, I know how great this is.

If your mom wants to pour over pictures of her children, let her.

It's part of being the loving, nurturing, and devoted mom that she is.

Elise, these are pictures of buildings.

Aren't they cute?

Look, it's the Kavanaugh building when it was only one week old.

The Kavanaugh building during its first summer.

Isn't it having fun?

Here it is at the circus eating cotton candy.

Mom, how far along is his plan to build the mall?

Well, it seems to be in the formative stages. They still have to get the

and the approval of the zoning board. Wait a minute. If they haven't got the

permits yet, it means there's still a chance to fight this thing.

You know, back in the 60s... Oh, Dick, come on.

Back in the 60s, by now, we'd be all organized to stage a protest. We'd make

zoning board listen to the people of this community.

Instead of the money -grubbing, blood -sucking real estate profiteers who want

to ravage our city streets just to turn a fast buck.

Hey, do I talk like that about your friends?

At least we can't let them push us around. After all, who needs another

-mall? Dad, do I talk that way about your friends?

Okay, everybody.

Are you in? Yeah. For you, Mom.

Please. Please.

You're hurting the children's feelings.

Oh, no, you're nice, too.

Oh, here, come here. Look, all of you. Look, look, right here. Look at this

brick. Huh?

Huh? It's a honey, Mom.

Real brickish.

No, you have to look closer. There's something scratched on it.

Oh, to Stephen, Alex, and Mallory.

We'd love a lease.

1970. What about me and Jen, Mom? Well, you two hadn't been born yet.

You have a chisel on you, Mom?

Wait a minute. There's more.

I dedicate this building to you, my loving family.

May its structure be as strong and as sound... Hi. Rick Inspector.

How are you?

These are fine.

These are good. Darla's, nice tone.

Back to work.

Thanks.

How can they put a mini mall in here? It'd just be so wrong to tear up this

building. building down. There's still people working in there, you know. Well,

I'm assuming they'll be apt to leave before the ball goes crashing through

wall. It's not going to come crashing through the wall. We're going to save

building, right, guys?

I'm sorry I'm late, you guys, but I was picking it in front of the wrong

building. But you'd be happy to know they are not going to knock down Sisters

Mercy Hospital.

Hey, buddy, how you doing? Come on, let's get picketing. Let's get a chant

going. Dad, why don't you kick it off, and if it's not too embarrassing, we'll

all join in.

Okay, all right. How about Kavanaugh, yes, Maul, no? No, I can't say that,

Well, do what you can, honey.

Hey, did you want to help save the Kavanaugh building?

Actually, I'm here to knock down the Kavanaugh building.

Dave McPhee, McPhee Brothers Demolition, who are you?

I'm the architect of this building.

Hey, the architect.

Listen, what do you think is the best way to level this baby in a hurry? Hey,

look, you're not going to level anything.

The demolition permits haven't been issued yet.

Here you are.

I just want you to know my family and I are going to fight you every inch of the

way on this. Hey, don't tell me.

Dad, Dad, take it easy. You know, this guy can blow us to bits.

If you've got a problem, I'd hurry up and take care of it. You bet we will.

tell you, we're going to be out here picketing every day until we win this

thing. I understand.

Oh, if you pick it on Friday, I'd leave a little more space between you for the

wrecking ball to swing through.

Come on, guys, let's do it.

Cavanaugh, yes.

Maul, no.

Cavanaugh, yes.

Maul, no.

Cavanaugh, yes.

Maul.

Go ahead and laugh if you want.

We are on a higher psychic plane than you are.

Our yin is in perfect alignment with our yang.

Can you say that?

Our yin is in perfect alignment with our yang.

Now look out or I'll step on your liver meridians.

Alex, come on. Give me one more chance to fix you.

Fix me? Do you know I was just offered the lead in the new production of The

Hunchback of Notre Dame?

Come on, Alex. I probably just overstimulated your pancreas. Let me

Get away from my pancreas.

It's the only thing I got left that works.

Alex, look at your legs. You're being ridiculous.

Hey,

you guys, help me hold him down so I can realign his vertebrae.

You will not be happy until I'm one large knot.

Hi, honey.

Hi.

Do you know that every day when I go to work, I drive two and a half miles out

of my way just to go by the Kavanaugh building?

I cannot believe that one day it will not be there anymore.

Try to look on the bright side, Lee. No matter what, it will live on in our

memories. Oh, Stephen, it's not the same. How would you feel if someone

to destroy your first documentary?

Well, it's not like it hasn't been suggested.

What's the use of worrying about it? It's done.

Might as well just put it out of my mind.

Next time I go to work, I'll just drive by the mini mall, wave hi to Mallory and

go on my way.

Come on, don't be so negative, Lisa. There must be something we can do.

Alex, I'm trying to convince your mother that the Kavanaugh building can be

saved. She thinks it's hopeless. Help me out here.

It's office debt.

Look, there's certain fiscal realities here, okay? I mean, a guy owns a

building. He can do whatever he wants with it, regardless of other people's

feelings.

I mean, that's the beauty of capitalism.

Thanks for dropping by, son.

Wait a minute, Alex. Alex, thank you. You just made me realize that there is

hope.

You must have completely misunderstood everything I said.

No, no, no. You said that the owner can do anything he wants.

All I have to do is confront that owner on a professional basis. You know, I

will appeal to his aesthetic sense, his spirit of civic pride, his desire to be

a responsible member of the Columbus business community. And then, and then,

will convince him that there's more to life than making money.

Let's get the old wrecking ball warmed up.

Yes, Miss Clark.

Mr. Willis, there's an Elise Keaton out here. She says she was the architect on

the Cavanaugh building, and she wants to see you.

Right. Tell her I'm not here.

Mr. Willis, I realize you're not in, but I'd like to see you.

Get rid of her.

Miss Keaton. Oh, Miss Keaton. Pleasure to see you.

Look, Mr. Willis, we both know why I'm here, so let's dispense with the

niceties, okay?

I'll put my cards on the table.

I do not want my building destroyed, but I'm willing to compromise.

You're willing to compromise?

What a break for me.

That's why I have designed the Cavanaugh Consumer Complex.

Now, in the grandest tradition of urban rehabilitation, we preserve the external

structure while inside, inside, Mr. Willis, is a mini mall of your dreams.

Now, I hope you like my idea, Mr. Willis. It's my final offer.

Oh, good. That means I won't have to hear another one.

Okay. How about this?

The world's first helium -filled mini mall.

It hovers directly over the Kavanaugh building. It's collapsible on the

holidays, and it's the first mall that could be entered in the Macy's

Thanksgiving Day Parade.

What do you think?

I think you're a lunatic.

Miss Keaton, it's a simple matter of dollars and cents.

I own the building.

If I tear it down and build a mini mall, I'll make a lot of money.

But tearing down a beautiful building to put up just another mini mall. Just

another mini mall.

The Dayton Stop and Grab.

My first mini mall. My baby.

It's a landmark in the mini mall world.

So how would you feel if someone tore it down?

Already did.

To put up the Dayton Park and Pick.

Well, the Dayton Park and Pick looks just like the Stop and Snatch.

That's the stop and grab.

That's the stop and snatch in Steubenville.

How can you tell? They're all just alike.

I know. I find that very comforting.

Personally, I don't know how you can put these things up all the way across the

country without some sense of self -loathing.

Come again?

Architecturally, they are a real blight on the landscape.

I mean, you are turning America from Maine to California into one huge mini

mall. Doesn't that bother you?

Only if I don't build them.

I love the certainty and security many malls provide.

I love knowing any time, day or night, that I can get film developed, rent a

video, or get a Slurpee.

Can you do that at the Kavanaugh building?

Oh, Mr. Willis, the Kavanaugh isn't just a building. It's like a family.

Look, how would you feel if someone came in here and destroyed this beautiful

picture of your family, huh?

That's not my family.

What, they came with the frame?

No, I didn't like the family that came with the frame. I had to buy another

frame to get these people.

Look, I cannot begin to tell you what to do with your building. I just thought

you should understand that someone sweated and anguished and lost sleep

to create this building.

Help me, Mr. Willis.

Save the Kavanaugh building.

Believe me, deep down, I just know you understand what I'm talking about.

Did you ever get an itch in the back of your head that you just couldn't quite

reach?

You okay?

Yeah. Just thinking about other things we could have done, but...

We did all we could.

We did everything but chain ourselves to the building.

Oh, yeah, now you think of it.

Lise, look at it this way. You have all these other buildings.

You know, I remember when I designed the Cavanaugh building.

I was so naive. You know, I think I only gave them one proposal.

I couldn't believe that they'd want to see anything else.

And they didn't.

And they gave me the go -ahead. I was so excited, I just screamed, and I hugged

Mr. Cavanaugh so hard his monocle popped off.

I remember that day.

I was home with Alex and Mallory in that little apartment we had on Rosewood

Avenue. You came through the door with such a gleam in your eye.

The only other time I had seen that look was when you thought you'd spotted Bob

Dylan at the International House of Pancakes.

Was that 20 years ago?

Seems like yesterday.

Also seems like...

A thousand years ago. Where did it all go so fast? I know what you mean.

Who would have ever thought we'd be sitting here in 1989, house of our own,

children.

Four.

Right, four children.

Nice jobs, money in the bank, two good cars.

God, we're square.

Well, you are.

You know, the worst part is that I feel I worked so hard. You know, I've tried

to make my mark in the world, to create something that said Elise Keaton was

here.

I'm going to tear it down.

Seems like pretty soon there's not going to be any record of who I used to be.

I'll remember.

I look at you, and I still see that same wild -eyed young woman who ran into

that apartment with the news of her first building.

And then... Then I see the 19 -year -old girl I fell in love with.

And the young woman who gave birth to our beautiful children.

And then... More mature.

Older.

Wiser.

Older.

Watch it, Buster.

Anyway...

You are all these people to your family, and we don't need any buildings to

remind us of that.

You have made your mark.

Here.

Come in.

Mom, I have a present for you.

What is it? I'll give you a hint. It's from your building.

A brick.

How'd you know? Oh, because I wanted one so badly. Thank you.

I love it.

All those birthdays, I've been running out and wasting money on perfume.

Mom, we found the brick with the writing on it.

I dedicate this to you, my loving family.

Thank you so much.

So, Kavanaugh building's demolished, huh?

I'm sorry, Mom.

I will never shop at that mall.

Ever, ever, ever.

Honey, I think that's really too great a sacrifice to ask you to make.

I'm not setting foot there.

Hey, hey, take it easy, man.

I thought you had to become a mall martyr.

I want to thank you so much for trying to help me.

Thank you, sweetheart.

You guys were great. I never dreamed we'd all be picketing together.

On the same side.

Mom, you've been through a lot. I'm sure you're tremendously tense.

Let me shiatsu you.

No, no, Mom, no.

So go away, there's more Family Ties coming up in less than 30 seconds. And

tonight at 6, check out San Diego's favorite comedy lineup. That's right.

Friends, Will and Grace, and everybody loves Raymond.

Smile.

You're watching San Diego's home for comedy, KSWB. Watch the Frog.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.