Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we did.

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

Horsey and ducky, crayon and glitter.

Nice try, Elise.

Oh, come on, Stephen. It would be so cute to have one of Alex's kindergarten

drawings in the auction. This is a serious auction to raise funds for the

station, Elise. I can't ask for bids on a five -year -old simplistic rendition

of Two Farm Animals.

This isn't a simplistic drawing.

See, the ducky and the horsey are barnyard bankers, and they're

Old MacDonald's Farm.

Oh, yeah.

I see the ducky's got a little eviction notice.

You see something new every time you look at it.

Can we get on with this, Aletha? I want to be finished before Victoria gets

here. Who's Victoria?

Victoria Herstenberg, the sponsor of our auction, Jennifer, one of the biggest

art dealers in the Midwest. The Herstenberg name is virtually synonymous

fine art and culture.

You think she'll want a chili duck?

Whoa, hey, my horsey ducky eviction picture.

It's the classic.

It's from my fiscal surrealist period.

Dad, Nick has something very special for you.

Yeah, I hope you like it. Got my personal touch all over it. Don't get

close, Dad.

It's either stolen or freshly killed.

It's for your auction, Dad. I convinced Nick to donate it.

I don't know what to say.

How about thank you?

No, that's not it.

How about get me my blowtorch?

Hello. Hi.

Are you the art lady?

Yes, I am. Your chili dog's almost ready.

Victoria, please come in. Hello, Elise. I hope I'm not late. I had to stop by

the gallery and pick up these pieces. Oh, no, not at all, Victoria.

There's Mallory, Nick, Jennifer, and Alex. Victoria Hurstenberg.

These are the final three pieces for the auction, Stephen. And on the back is

all the information you need.

What's this?

Well, don't get too close. We're not insured.

This is very interesting. Who's the artist?

Here he is, right here, Nick Moore.

Hey.

Hello, Nick. I must say, I'm very impressed.

This work is intriguing. It's brutish, vital, challenging.

Yeah, not only that, it's rust -proof.

You have real potential, Nick. Hey, you hear that, Alex? And this is an art

lady. This ain't no bozo off the street.

Thank you, Nick.

Item number 43 is sold.

Congratulations to the new owner of Horsey and Ducky, a barnyard eviction.

And now, if I may, I'd like to take a moment just to introduce some of the

-working phone volunteers.

Of course, it really wouldn't be a WKS fun drive without my own family being

here to help out. My wife, Elise.

Hi, Andrew.

That's our baby boy. Our daughter, Jennifer.

Hi, Andrew.

Daughter, Mallory.

Hi, Andy. And our son, Alex. You call that an offer, lady?

That's the cheapest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Alex.

Keep those calls coming in, folks.

All right, it's time now to put the next item up for auction. It's a sculpture

donated by a local artist who happens to be with us tonight, Mr.

Nick Moore.

I got a special message from my aunt who's watching at home.

Hey.

Well, thanks, Nick. Okay, let's start the bidding on this piece. Call in now,

please, at 555 -2131.

If you get a busy signal, please, please try again.

operators are handling these calls just as quickly as they possibly can.

Oh, thank you. We've just received a very generous opening bid of $220 from

Victoria Herstenberg.

Hey, you don't have to do this. I made my aunt promise to call in a bid.

Why are you so surprised, Nick? I told you yesterday I liked it.

Well, I thought you were just being polite, you know. I mean, I never met

who looked like you who liked my work.

Well, I never met anyone who looked like you who could do this kind of work.

Well, I never met anyone who looked like you who... I never met anyone who

looked like you.

Sold to Victoria Hurstonburg for $220.

$20.

Nick, you sold it.

Oh, that's great.

Um, you know, this is just one of a collection Nick has. They're all good.

Well, I'd be very interested in seeing more of your work, Nick. Do you think

could arrange a private showing for me?

You really like my work?

I know your style may be a little avant -garde for the general public, Nick, but

I pride myself on a good eye for unsung talent.

When I see something I like, I take it.

Well, hey, uh, here I am.

Well, I've been looking all over for the perfect spot for this.

Not in here.

I don't want a picture of dogs playing poker in my living room.

Oh, come on, Elise. How about over the fireplace?

How about in the fireplace?

Why'd you buy that thing anyway, Dad?

Well, it was the only auction item that didn't sell.

I was just sitting there, alone.

It'd be one just like it in my den when I was a kid.

Right above the lamp with the little hobo leaning against the streetlight.

I miss that little hobo.

Why do I do this to myself?

Hey, hey, hey. Heads up. Hard coming through.

You should be the last of them.

What you see before yourself here represents the last.

Five years of my life.

Couldn't you just have a photo album like everybody else?

Come on, tell me what you think of them, and be honest.

They're really nice, Nick.

Dad, can we go? I'm scared.

See you later.

I can just feel it, Nick. After tonight, you're going to be famous.

I don't know, Mal. I mean, what if Miss Hurstenberg hates everything?

Oh, what are you nervous about? You're very talented. Nick, Miss Hurstemberg's

gonna love every one of them.

And I love you.

What is going on here?

These are Nick's sculptures, Alex. He's having a private showing for Victoria

Hurstemberg. Touch the hors d 'oeuvres and die.

Oh, no, I'm a threat.

You know, that's my recipe.

The little cherry tomatoes stuffed with whipped salami.

Hello,

Nick. Hey, Mr. Christenberg. I'm glad you could make it.

Whoa.

Some outfit.

Thank you.

Hey.

Nice and ventilated.

I guess you don't sweat too much in that thing.

It's nice to have you here, Miss Hurstberg.

Thank you.

May I? Oh, sure.

Primitive.

Crude.

Bordering on offensive.

Well, my aunt liked it.

Of course, she's bordering on offensive, too.

Even a quick look at the body of your work confirms what I thought when I met

you and when I bought the auction piece.

You have real potential.

I think so, too, Mrs.

Hurstenberg. It's Ms.

Hurstenberg. I'm not married.

Oh.

If you'll let me open some doors for you, Nick, I think we can cause a real

in the art world. You hear that, Mal? We're going to cause a stir.

Nick, you need someone to look after you, to encourage you, nurture you,

you. That's what art patrons do.

What do you think?

I think I'd like to be patronized.

What have you been fixing?

Just a few small repairs, nothing special.

Hold it right there, Dad.

I found it hanging over my bed. Do you know how I got that?

Don't look at me.

I have standards, Dad.

It's okay if I'm alone in my appreciation of this work.

As Thoreau once said, I have found no companion so companionable as solitude.

Yeah, but he didn't have any dog pictures.

There must be a place to hang this painting.

Yeah, it's not in my room.

Where are you going, Mel?

Oh, Nick and I are going out to dinner.

I'm celebrating his official entrance into the art world.

Things are going well then, huh?

Victoria's really taking Nick under her wing. Yeah, she's really helping him.

It's been a little rough lately. I haven't seen Nick for 11 days, but it's

going through that.

Because Miss Hirshmer is really going to do great things for Nick.

I wouldn't be surprised.

Alex, if you're insinuating there's something going on between them, you can

forget it. I'm not worried.

Hello?

Nick! Hi! You're supposed to be here. I'm all ready.

Oh, I see.

With Miss Hirshmer.

No, sure, I understand.

No, it's okay.

Yeah.

Bye.

That was Nick. He has to go to another gallery opening with Miss Herstenberg.

Can't believe it. We're supposed to go out to dinner tonight.

Say, I've got a great idea. Why don't we all go out to dinner?

Hey, that's a great idea, Dave. Let's go get dressed. Let's do it.

I hope you guys don't mind. I won't be going with you.

Well, I... Honey, if you're not going to go, then maybe we should go. No, you

guys go ahead, really.

If you'd change your mind.

Dad, I don't want to go out today.

Look, Mal, sorry what I said about Nick and Victoria. I mean, I only said that

when I thought it wasn't true.

I mean, you know what I mean.

Alex, what if there is something going on between them?

Look, there's absolutely nothing to worry about.

Let's look at the facts here.

Nick is a good -looking young guy.

Victoria is an attractive older woman who's taken a special interest in Nick,

and they've spent nearly all their time together in the last two weeks.

Let me give you a hug.

Alex, how can I compete with someone like Victoria? I mean, she's

she's wealthy, she's intelligent. She's older.

You'll be older one day, ma 'am.

But what about elegant, sophisticated, and smart?

Those things fade.

So, are you enjoying yourself down there? Oh, yeah, it's great.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, uh, these are free, right?

No, seriously, huh?

Nick, Nick, Nick.

Oh, Miss Hurstenberg, Miss Hurstenberg.

Your sculptor is creating quite a stir.

Yeah, I remember you said that. You said we'd stir and, uh...

We're stirring.

Yes, we are.

Um, don't you think you should introduce me to some of these people?

I will.

I just want to keep you to myself for a few moments longer.

All right.

Nick, you're really a wonderful artist. I can't tell you how impressed I am with

you. Why not?

Miss Hurstonburg.

Hello.

Hi. Here to see the Braxton exhibit?

Yes, I am.

I'm a huge admirer of Braxton. Great sculpture.

You mean paintings?

Yes, I love his paintings.

Her paintings?

Of course, her paintings.

Yeah, I've loved them for years.

This is her first exhibit.

I know. See, I know her from camp.

She's 62.

She was a counselor.

Oh, Miss Hurstenberg.

You're kind of funny, you know that?

Nick, why do you always call me Miss Hurstenberg?

My name is Victoria.

Well, Miss Hurstenberg's easier to remember.

I find you extremely attractive, Nick, and I think we could be a lot closer.

I'd like our relationship to be more than business.

Oh, wow!

Great sculpture.

Nice balance. I'll take two.

I've developed a very special feeling for you, Nick, and I... Look, Ms.

Hustenberg, let me stop you right here, okay?

I don't want to sound ungrateful because I really like you. And you've been

really good to me.

But I'm in love with Mallory.

I'm sorry.

So am I.

I suppose that sometimes I let my passion for an artist's work become a

for the artist.

Hey, that can happen.

I know how it is.

No hard feelings?

No hard feelings.

Hi, I'm Mallory.

Oh,

dear.

Happy New Year.

bump you a quarter.

I don't know.

I think he's bluffing.

What a poker face.

What do you think, Alex?

I have no idea. He's a rock.

All right.

All right, I'll see you, Mr.

Too rich for my blood.

Oh, read him and weep. Three ladies.

Oh, well, that's just great. That's something else.

Hey. Oh, Alice, you kept him up late again just to play poker?

I don't mind staying up late.

It's just losing all my money that's killing me.

Good night, Alice. Good night.

Oh, I'm glad he's still up. It gives Daddy a chance to put him to bed.

Daddy loves putting him to bed on poker night.

Why don't you guys put him to bed and I'll get his bottle ready.

Okay, Andy, I'll keep an eye on your money as usual.

Deduct my normal fee for setting up the game.

Hey, Mallory.

Is everything okay?

Uh, we'd rather not talk about it, Mom.

Sorry.

I never want to see Nick again.

Do you two have a fight?

I'd rather not talk about it.

Sorry?

I can't believe you'd leave me for the first gorgeous, intelligent, wealthy,

sophisticated woman to come along.

Does this have anything to do with Victoria Hurstenberg?

Mom, please, I'd rather not talk about it.

Sorry.

Oh, we should have seen them together at the gallery. They look like one of the

exhibits. All they need was a little sign next to them reading, new couple of

the year.

Honey, look.

has a lot of flaws.

In fact, your father has an alphabetized list of those flaws.

But deceit is not one of them.

How do you know?

I've seen the list.

Uh,

Nick, uh, hit this bottle up to Andrew.

Look, Mallory, I'm only going to say this once. And if you don't believe me,

just going to turn around, walk out that door, and never come back.

There is nothing going on between me and Victoria.

I don't believe you.

Mallory, I'm only going to say this twice.

There is nothing going on between me and Victoria.

Look, I don't blame you, okay? Any guy would fall in love with her. She's

gorgeous, sophisticated.

wealthy all right she's all of those things but so what she's not you and

all that matters to me you're all that i want you expect me to believe that yes

i do because it's true you know when i see you my heart starts beating faster

palms get sweaty i get this funny kind of lump in the back of my throat you

that doesn't happen with nobody else so either i love you or i'm allergic to you

Nick, I know what's going to happen.

You're going to become a big hit in the art world, and every night you'll be out

there partying and meeting people and gallerying.

I'll pick up Time magazine, and you'll be on the cover as man of the year every

week.

All right. That could happen.

Let's say one day it all starts to fall apart.

My art stops selling.

Nobody returns my calls. I'm on the cover of Loser magazine.

Every week.

And then I realized that all the success, all the money doesn't mean a

without you.

So I sell everything.

I come back.

I find you.

We live happily ever after.

You know, so why put ourselves through all that travel?

Why don't we just skip it and get to the good stuff?

Mal, I love you.

And only you.

I'm sorry I didn't trust you.

I guess I'm afraid of losing you.

And what if somebody else figures out how great you are?

Hey, you're the only one who's figured that out so far.

You know, and that's just fine with me.

You're the first one who really believed in me.

You're the first one who saw me the way I want to be.

I need you, Mallory.

I need you, too.

I mean, when I'm with you, I feel special.

I never felt that way before.

Uh, you can tell your dad no thanks.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.