Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we did.

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without her?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without her?

Sha -la -la -la.

Okay, Barbara, you've got the pants outfit, the skirt, two sweaters, a

silk blouse, and a dozen scarves. Will that be all?

I'm not sure, Mallory. What do you think?

Should get you through the weekend.

Sure, unless I leave the house.

I still wish I hadn't talked myself out of that sequin set. I think I'll go take

another workout. Okay.

Okay, Mallory, 5 .30, let's go.

Alex, I'm still waiting on a customer. I'll be done in a few minutes.

Hey, Mallory, I don't run a cab company, you know?

You can keep me waiting, Mallory. I don't mind.

I love observing you in your work environment.

Skippy, I thought you promised to stop coming to the store to bother me.

I didn't come here to bother you. I came here to buy something for my mother.

That's for your mother?

Yeah, well, I thought I'd get a hat to go with it.

That's really not your color, Skippy.

Oh, this is not for me. It's for my mother.

Yeah, keep sticking to that story, Skip.

Mallory, Barbara Alexander just told me that you are her favorite salesperson.

Oh, that's great.

I am very pleased with the work you've been doing.

I have very big plans for you.

Hey, Mrs. Willis, how about sending her on the road?

Maybe opening a second store in Alaska.

Alex. Yeah, I could go with you.

Better pack a sweater, Skip.

Mallory, come on. Let's get out of here. I got to study tonight. So do you.

Alex, stop bugging me about studying. I've got other things on my mind.

Well, right, Mallory. I realize you're a little cramped for space up there.

But try and fit this thought in, okay?

Mom and Dad are not going to let you keep this job if you let your grades

Alex, her grades are fine. She got a 62 on today's geometry test.

Skippy.

What's wrong with that? It's 27 better than I got.

Even before birth, your baby is sensitive to sound vibrations and will

to some voices by moving and kicking.

That's me.

Hi, I'm your sister, Jennifer.

As soon as you're born, look me up, okay?

Kicking? I feel kicking. It's responding to your voice?

I like her already.

Let me take a shot of this.

Man walks into a psychiatrist's office with a chicken.

Nothing.

Well, how's it going, everybody?

Hi, Dad. Hi. Hi, Mom.

How are you feeling?

Fine. Well, after this morning, I was tired.

How was your day, honey?

Great. I sold $300 worth of clothes, and Mrs.

Willis says if I keep it up, I may get a promotion.

Well, that's terrific.

Congratulations. How'd you do on your geometry test?

You say you may get a promotion, hmm?

62. A D?

Honey, you got a D in geometry?

I think this is going to turn into something I'd rather not witness.

Cover your ears.

Well, I gotta go. You know how it pains me to see Mallory in trouble.

I wish I could film this.

I have to say we're disappointed, Mallory. Yeah, me too.

Well, make it up in the final. You'll see. Can I go now? Mallory, please.

The three of us agreed that if you couldn't keep your grades up, you'd have

quit the job.

I know, but this job's really important to me.

It's just a job, Mallory. It's not as important as school.

Maybe not to you, but to me it is.

School is the most... School, school, school.

You know, I'm tired of hearing about school. It's not...

I'm sorry, but you're going to have to quit the job.

I can't believe they're making me quit.

That job is the best thing in my life.

When I'm working, I feel good about myself. You know, I feel needed there. I

feel respected.

I know.

You know, you're actually competent there.

You're like a different person.

Alex, could you talk to them for me?

See if you can convince them to let me keep the job.

Uh, you mean... do you a favor?

Well, yeah.

But I'd be doing you a favor, too.

I won't be home as much.

That's good.

But I need more.

Come on, Alex, you owe me a favor.

Oh, how do you figure?

Didn't I fix you up last month with the Fergus twins?

The Fergus twins? Mallory, one of them was a guy.

I didn't know that.

And you was the cute one.

Alex, why don't you just help her? You could talk Mom and Dad into anything.

Oh, that's true.

Yeah, Alex, Jen's right.

You can be really cunning, devious, and manipulative when you want to be.

Stop trying to butter me up.

Well, it has been a while since I've had to talk him into anything.

I could probably use the practice.

Please, Alex, this job is really important to me. It's my whole life.

help me.

So I said to the waitress, no, not mustard. I said custard.

I'm sorry.

And he says, not responding to your voice.

Mom, Dad, listen.

Mallory told me about what happened.

Well, I just wanted to say that I think you handled that situation impeccably.

I fully agree with your decision and with your execution thereof.

I can't tell you how happy we are to have your blessing.

But I have a little proposal that I'd like to present.

Hold on to your wallet, Stephen.

Mallory has three midterms left.

Now, if she really applies herself and gets Bs or above on all of the tests,

keeps her job.

Alex, it's already been settled. Mallory's done poorly on her last few

and she's got to quit.

Yeah, but those tests are history.

They're over with.

Let's face it, Dad.

Nothing we do can bring back those tests.

The thing to do is to look forward to the future.

Start off with a clean slate.

Let's learn from our mistakes.

If we learned from our mistakes, we wouldn't be here listening to you.

You see, Dad, your agreement before was too vague for Mallory.

See, the child...

needs more specific guidelines.

All you said was to do well.

What is doing well?

Mallory, had you any idea that you were expected to get bees? I had no such

knowledge.

There you have it.

Let us start anew, shall we?

Three bees.

Three bees.

and she keeps the job.

That is the most reasonable thing I've ever heard in my life.

Uh, listen, Alex, uh, just out of curiosity, why are you doing this for

Can't you just accept the fact that a guy like me would, uh, help his sister

her time of need?

Absolutely not.

Alex's motive aside, uh, it does sound pretty fair to me. Stephen?

It's all right with me.

Well, there you have it. Well, okay. I have to admit, I felt bad about you

having to quit the job. Well, so did I.

Well, that gives you another chance, honey. Good luck.

Thank you, Mom.

We'll be back from our walk in about half an hour. Bye -bye.

Well,

did I come through?

Boy, was I great!

the old touch, you know? They were putty in my hands.

Alex. Alex, three Bs? I'm never gonna get three Bs. I'm not smart enough. Not

smart enough? Mallory, could someone who is not smart handle that store?

Well, it's true. You may not have book smarts, but you got something else. You

got something that might even be more important.

What?

You've got...

Fabric smarts.

Fabric smarts?

Yeah. Yeah, you... You know which stripes go with which checks.

You know whether the socks are supposed to match the shoes or the pants.

You know when to machine wash and when to tumble dry.

Alex, washing and drying are separate events.

Separate events?

Whoa!

have known that in a million years i don't know though three b's do you

think i can do it oh mallory i know you can do it because i am going to help you

do it i'm gonna be with you every step of the way mal tutoring you coaching you

guiding you but why why mal because i'm the architect of this deal

i mean how would it look if you were to lose the job i fought so hard for you to

keep i'd be a laughingstock I'm going to see you through this because my

credibility is on the line.

Three Bs? You can do it.

You sure you're not just saying this to cheer me up?

Mallory, think about it.

Have I ever said anything just to cheer you up?

And so, my child -to -be...

Eagerness and anticipation that I await your birth.

Many... Many years of blissful father

-child interaction await us.

I hope you are as enthusiastic as I am.

Not a nudge, honey.

I don't understand.

I don't know. Maybe it doesn't feel like kicking.

Hi, kid. It kicked, it kicked.

Sorry, Dad.

Guess you just don't have the right touch.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the recipient of her second bee in

three days, fighting out of Tenafly, New Jersey, at 5 '4", 180

pounds.

English literature, Mallory Keaton, B.

Couldn't have done it without Alex.

No kidding.

I've got to hand it to you, honey. You've really done well. I knew you had

you. Who would have thought that she would be getting Bs?

Admit it, Mel. Feels good getting mediocre grades, doesn't it?

Well, yeah.

Nice to take a test and actually know what the questions mean.

That's right. Only one more midterm to go. American history tomorrow.

Yep. D -Day.

Jennifer, don't say D -Day, okay?

It can be any other kind of day. A -Day, B -Day, Doris Day.

Right. How much time do we have before dinner? I want to get some studying

Can you believe this?

without threat.

Miracle. Why don't you take a little break, Mal? I'm afraid you're working

hard. You can study after dinner.

Well, I can't study tonight. We're having a big sale down at the store. I

promised Mrs. Willis I'd work.

Wait a minute. What do you mean, Mal? We can't study tonight.

I got big plans for you tonight. I got practice tests.

I got maps. I got charts.

We're going to reenact the Revolutionary War.

I can't, Alex.

All right, okay, okay, no problem. We'll just study down at the store.

Well, you won't be able to get any work done down there. It's too chaotic.

Yeah, Dad, it won't be the first time somebody's had to study under adverse

conditions.

Abe Lincoln had to study in a cold, dark log cabin by candlelight.

Gregor Mendel had to study in a monastery.

Louis Pasteur had to study in French.

How hard can it be for Mallory Keaton to study in a boutique?

Okay, Mallory, next question.

The date December 21st, 1620 is important in American history.

Okay, December 21st, 1620, the Pilgrims landed in Plymouth, Massachusetts. I've

got to hang this up.

Oh, and they signed the Mayflower Compact there.

Mallory, I just don't know if this bathrobe would fit my daughter.

Would you like me to try it on for you? Oh, no. My Mindy's very petite, small

-boned like me.

She's more his size.

What do you think, Mallory?

Well, turn around, Alex.

Yeah, walk away a little bit.

Wait a minute. What is this?

Oh, no, no, that looks good. What other colors does it come in?

Okay, I'll take it, and I'd like to try on this dress for myself.

Great, great. Right in here. Oh, thank you.

All right, Mallory, back to American history.

Right. Take the robe off first, Alex. I can't concentrate with you in feathers.

Mallory, I need you.

Okay, Mallory, this one is definitely going to be on the test.

I

think

I'm in love.

Come on, Mallory. We have got to study.

Now, at the Constitutional Convention, how many states were needed to

ratify? Okay, Mallory, I'll take it. I'm in a hurry. I have to pick up Mindy at

the dermatologist.

Excuse me, will you please get out of my way?

Where is she?

The test was supposed to be over an hour ago.

Alex, you're worrying too much about your sister.

I never thought I'd hear myself say that.

I just think it would be a shame if she had to give up that job, that's all.

She was really something at that sale last night.

You know, I have never seen Mallory handle so many things so well.

She was in total control.

A human dynamo.

Reminded me of me when I was her age.

Don't say it, Stephen.

Don't say what?

You don't know what I was going to say.

I've been married to you for 20 years. I know exactly what you're going to say.

All I was going to say was Mallory's been working very hard and I think we

to let her keep the job.

No matter how she does on the test.

We've been through this so many times.

Whenever we try to lay down the law to set some limits and instill some

discipline, you just can't stick with it. You fold like a house of cards.

I'm flexible, Elise.

I happen to be very proud of that.

Well, this is not the time for your fabled flexibility.

It's important that we stick together on this.

Present a united front.

At least we're parents. We're not NATO.

Whoa, Mallory. How do we do? How do we do? How do we do?

T -minus.

T -minus.

That's lower than a T.

I'm sorry. I tried my hardest, but that's the best I could do.

Sorry, Mel.

I'm sorry, too.

I let you down, Alex.

No, no, no. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you, Mallory.

I tried to help you, and I failed.

I feel terrible.

I have a social studies test coming up. You can help me.

No, no, no, no.

I am never helping anybody again.

What's the point?

You just get burned.

Thanks anyway, Jen.

Mallory, wait.

Let's talk about this.

Look, even though this didn't turn out the way you wanted, I'm proud of how

you worked at the school and at the store.

It's all real nice, but we had a deal.

I didn't get the grades, and now I have to quit.

You really liked the job, didn't you?

I loved it.

You know, when I'm working there, I feel like a real person, you know?

I practically run the store.

And people come to me for advice, and I give it to them.

Me.

Dumb little Mallory.

They don't think of me as dumb little Mallory at the store. They think of me

an intelligent, creative young woman.

I like being thought of that way.

Well,

I might as well get it over with.

I'll call Mrs. Willis.

Mallory, wait.

Why do you want me to wait?

Well, maybe you should call her later.

When the rates go down.

Mom, the store's a half a mile away.

So wait ten minutes.

This is hard enough as it is. Let me get this over with. Let me quit.

you're being a little hasty. We should talk about this some more. Maybe

isn't the right thing to do. I have to quit when they had a deal. Look, the job

is too important for you.

Not as important as your respect.

You're not quitting the job.

Yes, I am.

hung from school tomorrow.

Well, then maybe you won't go to school tomorrow.

Dad, what's going on? What's happening to Mom?

I think she's having some second thoughts about that deal we made.

I don't get it.

Your father and I have been talking and maybe we have been overemphasizing

school. Maybe having...

average and doing real well at a job is the same as having a B average and no

job.

You mean you want me to keep the job and break the deal we made?

Well, if it were up to me, yes.

I mean, you know how flexible I am.

But I don't know about your dad.

I mean, you know how set in his ways he is.

Dad? Well, your mother's convinced me.

You were right, Elise.

You have to be flexible.

What a fool I've been.

All right.

If you want me to keep the job.

Me too.

You know, kid, your parents aren't so bad after all.

Kid, did I hurt you?

Oh, a rabbi, a priest, and a nun got on the bus.

It's kicking, it's kicking. Not yet, not yet.

Okay, I've got it.

One test, winner take all.

Mallory gets 100 or she moves out of the house.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.