Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we did.

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

All campers must bring one flashlight, four batteries, one canteen, 200 candy

bars, 1 ,000 Oreos, two pair of sneakers. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

doesn't sound right on that list.

Oh, you're right.

One pair of sneakers would be plenty.

Now, is before that something about candy and cookies?

See, Jen, you were greedy. I told you, just go for the candy bars.

Take my word for it, Jennifer. Camp Winnetka will be so much fun, you won't

time to think about candy bars.

Hope you have a better time than I did. I hated camp.

What didn't you like about it?

Well, the way the whole thing was set up. I mean, girls on one side of the

boys on the other.

Thank God I'm a good swimmer.

Hello,

Skippy. Hello, Mr. Keaton.

Alex, I gotta talk to you. It's an emergency.

What's wrong, Skip?

That's just how I get people's attention.

Usually when Skippy Handleman walks into a room, people tend to walk away.

Skippy, you're exaggerating. That's not true.

Come on, Jennifer, let's go in the other room and study this camp list of yours.

Color TV? You're going to camp. You're supposed to be working it. Okay, I'll

just bring the black and white.

Alex, I need to talk to you.

What's wrong, Skip?

I found out something unbelievable about my parents.

Come on, Skip. All adults do that.

It means they love each other.

No, no, no, that's not what I mean.

What do you mean?

I can't live with the Handelmans anymore.

Skippy, what are you talking about? You are a Handelman. Yeah, that's what I

thought, too, until 3 o 'clock this afternoon.

Alex, here, look at this.

Skip, these are adoption papers.

That's right.

My real name isn't Erwin Handelman.

It's baby boy dough.

Where did you find these? In my mom's drawer. I mean, in Mrs.

Handelman's dresser drawer.

Wait a minute.

What were you doing going through your mother's drawers?

Well, Alex, what difference does it make? She's not my real mom anyway.

Adopted. Skip.

Listen, you know, do you want to sit down?

Here, get off your feet. Can I get you something? Alex, I'm adopted. I'm not

pregnant.

This is big news.

Yeah, you're telling me.

My whole life has been a lie.

I'm not who I thought I was.

Nothing about me is what I thought it was.

I might not even need these glasses.

Alex, I... Where are you?

Uh, Skip, you need them. You need them. Alex.

I don't even know who I am.

I don't know who my family is.

I want to find my real parents, Alex.

I want to find my roots.

I'm leaving for Africa in the morning.

I told you, when we watch that on TV, those are his roots. That doesn't apply

everybody.

Where are my roots, Alex?

I don't know, Skip.

We should have told him a long time ago, Rose. Why don't we admit it? We made a

mistake. Harry, I'm too upset to admit anything.

We should have told Skippy he was adopted long ago.

Let's admit it, Harry. We made a mistake.

That's what I just said.

Well, I agree with it anyway.

You know, Rose, now that Skippy is aware of the situation, you should feel

relieved. I mean, the pretending's over.

How can we feel relieved?

We're so scared about what might happen if he meets Elizabeth, his natural

mother. Exactly. What are you afraid of? What do you think might happen if they

meet? Well, anything could happen. Anything could happen, Stephen.

Skippy might like her better than he likes us. Or she might try to get him to

move in with her. You know, once somebody's met Skippy, it's very hard

to imagine living without him.

You know, once when he was 12, I was going to tell him...

I was all poised to say, Skippy, you're adopted.

But I lost my nerve.

It came out, Skippy, you're a doctor.

I had to let him take my temperature.

And now he wants to meet that other woman. Why is it so important to him?

kind of a son wants to meet his mother?

So what should we do? I mean, are we crazy to be so upset?

Should we let him meet her? Should we tell him where she lives?

It's difficult to know what to do. We're asking you for help.

I mean, if you two had some personal problems, what two people would you call

upon? Us, right?

So what should we do?

Maybe we should tell him where she lives. I think it would mean a lot to

if you helped him find her.

Look, Rose, if Skippy doesn't meet his natural mother now, he's always going to

wonder about her.

And I think it might be good for him if he thought that you weren't afraid for

him to meet her. But we are.

We're supposed to be washing dishes, Mallory. What are you doing?

I was just thinking.

No, seriously.

All right, all right. What are you thinking about?

I was thinking about Skippy.

I know what you mean.

I'm thinking about him, too.

He's really upset about this adoption thing, isn't he?

I think it's the way he found out. You know, he's innocently going through his

mother's drawers looking for money.

And he finds adoption papers.

You know, when I was little, I used to think I was from another planet.

Don't give up that thought.

And one day my... Space Mom will come down and find me and take me back there

with her.

Why don't you go up on the roof and wait for me?

I just got off the phone with Mrs. Handelman. She's still really upset.

Do you think they're going to tell Skippy where his mom is?

I don't know. That's a hard thing to do.

Mom, you're a mother. How can a mother just give away her own baby?

I can't answer that. I don't know what the circumstances were.

You just know that has to have been a very difficult thing to do.

I guess she just did what she thought was best.

When I have a baby, I'm going to keep it.

Even if it turns out to be an Alex.

I kept him.

Well, it wasn't easy, Jennifer, but you are all packed.

Great.

Just think, tomorrow at this time, I'll be a full -fledged camper.

Now, here are a few postcards. They're all stamped and dated. All you have to

is send one to us every day.

I can't write you a postcard every day.

Well, I know that. That's why I pre -wrote a few for you.

Dear Mom and Dad, camp is fun, but I miss you terribly.

Now, all you have to do is sign one every day.

Well, why don't I just sign them all now? That way I won't have to take them

camp.

Can I come in?

You're always welcome in this house. Come on.

Why is everybody being so nice to Skippy?

Well, haven't you heard?

I'm adopted.

Have a seat, Skip.

I have the address of my real mother.

No kidding. What did you get?

From my fake mom.

Skippy? I'm sorry.

From Mrs. Handelman. She kept in touch with my real mom's family over the

You gonna make contact with her?

We're going to see her tomorrow.

She lives in Dayton.

Are your parents driving you over?

No, no, I couldn't ask them to do that.

I'm going to take a bus first thing in the morning.

Oh, Skip, listen, you don't have to do that. I'll drive you.

Oh, Alex, that's great. You're a real friend.

If you ever get adopted, I'll drive you to Dayton.

Come on, Jennifer, let's go. We don't want to miss that bus.

Hey, Dad, Dad, Dad, let me help you with that. Oh, thanks, Alex.

There you go, straight through the door. Don't try anything tricky, okay?

Good luck. Now, don't forget and write every day. I will.

It may seem like three weeks are a long time to be away from home, but you're

going to meet a lot of wonderful new friends.

Beep, beep.

Have a wonderful time, but don't you feel sad, okay?

Coming through, hot stuff.

Let me tell you a little story about what I went away to kill. Elise!

Oh, sorry.

Don't stand up in the canoe.

Don't play with matches.

My baby girl's gone.

She's back.

Hi, Skippy.

Hello, Mrs. Keaton.

Skippy, are you all right?

Yeah, we adoptees. We're made of stern stuff.

Did you know Mothis was adopted?

Yeah. Art Linkletter, too.

you're upset now, and I just want you to know if there's anything I can do,

don't hesitate to ask.

Mallory, there's nothing that you could do that could cheer me up.

Whoa.

You really are upset.

Alex, don't call me Skippy anymore, all right?

Okay.

Irwin. No, no, no. Call me by my given name.

Baby Boy Doe.

Okay.

Baby boy doll.

Why do you have the suitcase, Skippy? Aren't you coming home tonight?

Yeah, I have got some things I want to show my mother.

We've got a lot of catching up to do.

Look at this.

My first pair of baby shoes.

The ones my mother never got to buy for me.

My, you had very large baby feet.

They say that's a sign of intelligence.

Well, at least they used to.

Hello, Alex.

Is baby boy here?

I thought you might get hungry, so I brought you your favorite.

Peanut butter and carrot sandwiches.

We just want you to know that we love you with all our hearts.

I hope you find what you're looking for in Dayton.

I hope you find Dayton.

It gets a little tricky around the Wilson interchange.

Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Handelman.

Alex, let's go.

4B, this is it.

Ah, Alex.

It's my mom.

I'll knock.

I'm scared. You knock.

Coming.

You're going to be fine, Skip. Right, I'll be fine.

I'm not Irwin. Irwin's right here. Irwin. Skippy.

Um, plant needs water.

Hello, Irwin.

Hello, ma 'am.

Oh, don't be so formal. Call me Elizabeth.

Hello, Elizabeth.

This is my friend Alex. Alex Keaton. Hi, Alex. Alex Keaton. Oh, nice to meet

you, Alex. Alex Keaton.

Alex drove me here today because I don't drive yet.

My birthday's not until March.

That's right.

I forgot.

She was there.

Please, come inside.

Uh, Skippy, if you don't mind, I'm going to wait out here, okay?

Alex, thank me. Skippy, you'll be fine.

I'll be right here.

It really is you after all these years.

Do I look the same?

Well, you're bigger.

And you've got more hair, but otherwise, yeah, you look the same.

I don't recognize you.

Well,

that's understandable.

Last time we saw each other, you were only a few weeks old.

So, tell me all about it.

All the things we did together.

There's not much to tell.

Basically, you ate and slept and went through a lot of diapers.

Those were good times, weren't they?

Well, not completely good. No, I wouldn't say they were good times.

What do you mean?

That was a difficult period of my life.

I was 18 and unmarried and ostracized by everybody I knew.

What about my father? I bet he was a great guy, huh?

Well, he was young, too.

Did, uh... Did he know about me?

No, he knew.

He... He wasn't interested.

I see.

Hey, people are like that. I understand.

So, uh... What was his name? Was he tall?

Did he ever play a professional sport?

I really don't want to talk about him.

I want to know.

He was my father.

He may be your father, but he was nothing to me.

Nothing?

It was a mistake.

Then I was a mistake, too.

Well, hey, that's all in the past now.

We could start fresh.

You want to hear about my hobbies or my ambitions?

Would you like to see my vaccination?

Oh, I don't think so.

Okay. Well, then, let's talk about you, Mom.

What do you do?

I'm a secretary.

See, that's amazing.

Typing's my best subject.

Ask me anything.

Or better yet, why don't you bring out your typewriter?

I don't have a typewriter here.

It's okay.

Next time I come, I'll bring mine.

Oh, Mom, this is going to be great.

I can come by once a week, and we can talk and type and...

that you don't come to visit me again.

Why not?

Well, when you have parents.

I'm sure you're very important to them.

I have my own life, too.

I can't become a mother just like that. It's not that easy.

It would be very disruptive for both of us.

You understand what I'm saying?

Yeah, I understand.

You don't want me.

Do you have any idea how painful it is seeing you again?

It took me 15 years to get my life together again, and you just want to rip

apart again.

What do you want from me?

I want to know how you could do it.

How could you?

How could you just give me away?

It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But you still did it. I wanted you

have a good life.

I couldn't give it to you.

I wanted you to have a real family.

Nice house and a dog.

Do you have a dog, Irwin?

No.

But I have a sister.

Even better.

I'd rather have a dog.

Well, I'll be getting out of your way now.

Erwin?

You may find this hard to believe, but I gave you away because I loved you.

You were my baby boy.

You remembered my name.

So, Skippy, uh...

Want something to drink? Uh, pretzels? No, no, Alex, thanks.

I'm too depressed to eat.

Hey, uh, why don't we toss a softball around, huh? How does that sound?

Dangerous. In the state I'm in, I'd probably miss the ball and it would hit

in the face.

Usually happens anyway, Skip.

Alex, I'm in a daze. I'm stunned.

My mother rejected me.

Again.

My mother never would have acted that way.

That's just the point, Skip.

She wouldn't have done that because she is your mother.

She loves you.

Wait a minute. Which mother are you talking about?

I'm talking about your mother. No, not the one from today, but your other

mother, your real mother.

The one from today is my real mother.

Well, that's true, but I was referring to the mother that you thought was your

real mother until a few days ago. You mean my mother.

That's what I said, Skip, your mother.

When you said my mother, I thought you meant my mother as in the one who was my

mother first.

No, no, I'm talking about your other mother. Not the mother who knew you

The mother that you knew first.

Got it.

What about her?

Look, Skip, I want to try to stay to you with this.

Your mother didn't reject you.

The woman who gave birth to you rejected you.

You mean my mother?

Let's not start this again today.

Look, when you were seven years old and you got your head caught in the

banister, who got you loose?

My mom.

Which mom?

The one that raised me, Mrs. Handelman.

That's right.

And when you were 13 years old and you got your head... Caught in the banister.

Who got you loose?

That time it was my dad.

Mr.

Hanlon.

Skip.

If it wasn't for those two people, your head would be stuck in that bin.

Right now.

It's true.

Feet. The woman you met today is your natural mother. And there's a guy out

there who is your natural father.

But they haven't been a part of your life for 16 years.

They've had no role in nurturing you, in molding you, in caring for you.

They, uh, they created a baby.

But they had no part in creating the human being that's Erwin N. Handelman.

Oh, even so, Alex.

How would you feel if you found out that your mom and dad aren't your natural

parents?

It would explain a lot of inconsistencies in my life.

Look, what it gets right down to, Skip, is the people who are most important in

your life are the people who love you and the people who care about you.

And you got those people just as much as I do.

You're home.

Yeah, just got back.

We would have been here sooner, but we got stuck at the Wilson Interchange.

I was worried you might. They ought to put better signs up there.

Oh, how'd it go, baby boy?

You don't have to call me that anymore.

Did you meet...

Her?

Yeah, I met her.

She was pretty nice.

I see.

Alex met her, too.

Yeah. Yeah, she was nice.

Well, I'm glad your real mother's nice.

You're my real mother.

Oh, Mom.

Hey, what about me? You're my real dad, Dad.

Let's go home and have real dinner.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.