Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without her?

And there ain't no nothing.

We can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without her?

Sha -la -la -la.

Now, Bernice, you have a list of all the councilmen who are in our corner and

have come out against the construction of the high -rise, right? Right.

And Phyllis, do you have a list of all those who were on the fence?

Right. Okay, I have a list of all the pizza parlors in the neighborhood. I say

we eat. I'm sorry.

Elise, this rezoning bill's got to be stopped.

If it passes, all the recreational land in town will be turned into

condominiums. Do you have a copy of the bill?

Oh, yeah, right here.

You know, one thing in our favor is the opposition is incredibly disorganized.

They're sloppy, unprepared, confused.

I can't seem to find it.

I know, it's in my brown purse. No, no, wait. I'll look upstairs. Just a minute.

I don't know why you're fighting me on this, Jennifer.

It doesn't sound right, that's all.

Okay, let me try and explain it to you again. You're what's called a consumer.

You buy gum, candy, a pair of wax lips every now and then.

Right. Right, okay, now you need money for all this, right?

But I get allowance.

That's true, but don't you remember...

Oh, yeah, I've been hard hit by inflationary pressure.

That's right.

Now, I am willing to supplement your income by 25 cents a week in exchange

service. What could be more reasonable?

Alan, I don't want to clean your room.

Why don't you clean your own room?

I could do that, Mallory, but that would be the easy way out. By paying Jennifer

to do it, I'm allowing her to participate in the American free

system. Don't do it for me, Jennifer.

Do it for America.

You have no shame at all.

Hi, kids.

Where's your mother?

In the living room.

What's the occasion?

Kids, your father just won the Midwest Regional Murray Award for Outstanding

Documentary. Yay!

What documentary was this for, Dad?

The last one in our wildlife series, The Egret's Regret.

I can't believe it. That documentary was so obviously...

So slanted. You did the whole thing from the egret's point of view.

Alex, your views on this subject are well known. We got your letter down at

station.

Personally, I thought bleeding heart bird lovers was a bit strong.

Okay, be real quiet. I want to surprise her. But, Dan. Shh.

And now, the winner of the Murray Award for Outstanding Locally Produced Public

Television Documentary. May I have the envelope, please?

The winner is Stephen Keaton.

Is, um, Elise Keaton here?

Stephen! Elise, I won the Murray Award for the egrets regrets.

Oh, Stephen, that's wonderful. I know how hard you worked to get that on. Oh,

I'm so proud of you. I'm happy.

I was hoping we could celebrate tonight.

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart. I can't. Any chance you'll be done soon?

Well, let's see. We have to write up the petition and coordinate the canvassing

teams, name the group leaders, and then make about 20 phone calls. I think

soon's a little optimistic.

I think June's a little optimistic.

Maybe we can celebrate tomorrow night. Sure. It's no big deal. I just wanted

some of your time.

We got the show on the air. That's what counts. We can celebrate any time. Oh,

we will, too.

It wasn't a ward, really.

Silly way to encourage competition.

I'd like to thank my parents, of course.

And my first scout leader.

That's right, Guido. The table by the picture window tonight at 6 .30. Oh, and

Guido, it's a special occasion, so a bottle of your best champagne.

I won the Murray Award.

Egress regret.

I don't know. I thought we showed both sides.

Okay. See you tonight.

Good morning.

Sorry you weren't awake when I came up last night. That's okay.

What would you say if I told you that I was able to wangle us the table by the

window at Guido's tonight at 6 .30 for our Murray Awards celebration?

Oh, I only have one problem with that. I can't make it.

That's a tough thing to overlook.

I have a late meeting at work tonight. I have to do some drawings for a new

building, and we're bidding on the project tomorrow.

Let me call Guido right back, see if he can take us any later. Great.

Mom, Mallory says I can't go with you and her tonight.

Tonight? Where are we going? It's our first mother -daughter yoga class

and she can't come.

Why not?

She's a mother.

I'm a daughter.

I say we're in business.

You don't even know what yoga is.

So what? I didn't know what sex was when I went to sex education class, didn't

I? Well, this is different.

Well, I hope that I was really boring.

I don't know, sweetheart. Your dad and I have plans.

Mom, you promised.

Let me talk to him.

Well, it took some doing, but we're in at 7 .30. We don't have the window

Is there a chance we can do it any later?

At least you kill me sometimes.

I'm sorry. Sweetheart, I completely forgot about the yoga class the girls

signed up for. It's at 7 tonight.

We can't miss the first class.

They teach you how to breathe.

You already know how to breathe.

Inhale, exhale, keep alternating.

You won't have any problem.

Oh, please, Daddy, can we go?

Please, can we? Can we? Please?

Oh, okay.

They love it when you beg.

don't try to change the reservation.

Mom, there's a coffee on the other line. Oh, thank you, honey.

Okay, Jennifer, I'll tell you what.

I've been thinking it over, and I'm willing to raise the base pay for

my room to 75 cents a week. Quarter you see up front, rest I put in a truck fund

for you.

When do I get the money?

When you're 18.

Forget it. By then I'll be told to enjoy it.

Guido, take it easy.

I think we can discuss this as two intelligent...

Adults, what I'm trying to tell you is that any table will do.

Come on, I don't mean any table. Won't the cash register get in the way?

Never mind, I'll take it. See you at 9 .15.

Got a call from Kathy Spearing. She needs to see me tonight.

Tonight? Our tonight?

She's a member of my women's support group, and we made a commitment to be

available to one another.

We made a commitment too, Elise, remember? People through rights.

You wore a white dress. Do the words for better or for worse ring a bell?

We're about to have a fight.

You know my dad's Murphy Award?

It's not a Murphy Award.

It's a Murray.

And we are not about to have a fight.

I simply want to take your mother out to dinner to celebrate. And some conflicts

have arisen due to your mother being somewhat overcommitted lately. And we're

trying to resolve them. That's all.

Isn't that right, dear?

That's right.

Sweetheart, although your father has neglected to mention that all of this

happened at an unusually hectic period for me, but I'm sure he's mature enough

to realize that although I'm doing everything humanly possible to be

outside commitments must be fulfilled.

It's a fight.

Hey, we gotta get to school.

Tell us who wins.

I'm sorry, sweetheart, but Kathy sounded really upset.

She's afraid her husband's gonna leave her for another woman. What gives her

that idea?

He hasn't been home for dinner in eight months.

So maybe he's on a diet.

You could tell her you were busy tonight, that we had special plans, that

wanted to spend the evening with your husband.

Look, I don't think she should be alone tonight. She's called me in her hour of

need, and I just don't feel like I can turn my back on her.

Well, put it like that, it's pretty tough to say no.

Okay, look.

You do what you have to do. Go over there tonight.

I'll make a special dinner here, and we'll celebrate the minute you get home.

Thank you, sweetheart. You're terrific.

Hey, Guido.

Good morning.

I didn't realize it was so late. Things got kind of heavy with Kathy.

I hope I didn't cause any problems. Yeah.

The recipe specifically says allow veal to sit six hours before serving.

Should be just about ready.

Sorry, I just couldn't leave Kathy.

Well, are you home to stay now or is this just a pit stop?

Of course.

Where are you going now?

I don't know. I'm sure there's someone in trouble somewhere in the world.

It's 8 a .m. in London. Perhaps some English woman is completely out of tea.

Look, I know I said I'd be home early, but tonight was an emergency. It's

an emergency, Elise. It's not just tonight. I haven't spent 20 consecutive

minutes with you all week. Okay, okay. I know I've been spreading myself a

little thin lately, but do you know how I am once I make a commitment?

I think you could be a little more flexible.

Ah, ah, ah, I see. My fault.

I'm not flexible enough.

Maybe if I were an undocumented alien with an overbite.

Well, if they were planning to rezone our bedroom, I would be able to get a

little of your time.

Look, I'm not in the mood for a fight tonight.

Not in the mood to fight?

Not in the mood?

Wait, I'll put on the scene from Rocky.

Why do we have to fight now?

Because the odds are when you are in the mood, you won't be here.

Stephen, it just so happens there have been a lot of demands put on me lately.

I've got this big presentation at work I've got to prepare, and it's put me

under a lot of pressure.

Then there's this rezoning thing. came to a head and then Kathy called and I

felt a little obligation to her.

But hey, if I've been neglecting my better half, well, excuse me.

I'm sorry I wasn't here to celebrate with you, but if you want to celebrate

right now, hey, I'm all for it. Get out the hats. Get out the streamies. Get out

your Murray. Let's celebrate.

Just the two of us?

Wouldn't that be a little lonely for you?

What would you suggest?

I don't know.

Amnesty International. They've got a lot of guys with time on their hands. I'm

sure they can round up a fun crowd for us.

Stephen, that's it.

I'm just exhausted. I'm going to go sleep in the other room. No, you don't.

lot of things may have changed, but it's always been the man's prerogative to

sleep in the other room.

to sleep. Never go to bed angry.

Oh, Stephen.

Well, it's off.

You guys better get going. Dad's going to be here any minute.

I don't get it, Mom.

Why do we have to leave because you and Daddy had a fight?

You don't have to leave because we had a fight. You have to leave because we

want to make out.

Daddy's going to be really upset when he finds out it's just you and him

tonight.

way of being mad at someone, isn't it? Making them a special dinner?

Well, you see, your dad and I had a little misunderstanding last night, and

both said some things that I hope he's sorry for, and tonight we're just going

to celebrate his award with a nice, quiet evening at home.

Nice, quiet evening at home, huh? Is that why you're wearing Ravage Me

I say quiet, not boring.

Hello,

Stephen. Welcome home.

Hi, Mel.

Alex.

Hi, Jimmy.

Come on, Stephen. I think it's time we made out. I may not be ready.

Well, after our discussion last night, I was thinking, and I was very tired and

on edge, and I'm sorry that some things were said, and I'd like to make it up to

you with a special dinner, just the two of us.

Just the two of us? Yes.

I told Mom you would be mad.

Well... You know, you weren't the only one who said some things. I'm sorry,

Does that mean you're ready to make out?

Sure, what the hell, I'm easy.

He doesn't look mad.

He's covering.

Well, I'm going to go up and slip into something irresistible. Stay out of my

closet.

Okay, now, Alex, you're going to take Jennifer to Chrissy's and Mallory to...

and you're going to Peter's, and you'll be back here at 9 .30, right?

Right, Mom.

Okay. Have a good time. You have a good time, too, Mom.

Uh, what's in bounds?

What's in bounds?

Phyllis! Hiley! Sorry to barge in like this, but we just... Why are you...

is going to try to sneak through the zoning bill tomorrow. Our only chance to

save it is to call all the councilmen tonight.

Tonight? Why does it have to be tonight? Well, we haven't much time. They

scheduled a session for nine tomorrow morning. Oh, you've got plans.

I'm sorry. I didn't even notice. Look at you. You're all dressed.

That's ravage me, isn't it?

Yes, well, actually, Stephen and I had a special dinner planned.

Oh, that is powerful stuff, Elise.

I don't think you'll make it to dessert.

help you, but this has been put off and let me help you with this stuff.

Elise, which goes better with this jacket? The dark brown or the gray?

Is Elise Keaton here?

Hi, Steven.

Hi, Elise.

What's going on?

They moved up the rezoning vote on it tomorrow.

So?

Take action tonight.

Elise, it's important we take action tonight.

Yes, I know, but it's okay. Everything's to be moved over beneath this house and

they're going to work there. We'll be down here in a second. We can carry all

this stuff. I have complete confidence in you.

It's really raining out there.

Come on, don't be such a marshmallow.

A little rain never hurt anyone. It's good for the crops.

Just a sun shower.

David, we can't send it out in rain like that. You're right.

Ladies, there's an inflatable raft in the garage.

All right, all right, all right.

Ladies, ladies, stop.

Wait a minute. Stop.

All right.

Look, ladies, I guess you can work here.

But we'll be in your way.

I know.

To Murray. To you.

To the three of us.

Elise.

We can't find the environmental impact report that was done in 1981.

Oh, the third drawer to the left, brown folder.

We can't find the coffee either.

Second cupboard to the right, red bag.

Isn't this romantic?

It could be.

Elise, let's face it, this isn't working.

Of course it's working, sweetheart. Just relax.

Let's talk about your award.

I really don't want to talk about the Murray. I just want to have a nice

romantic dinner with you.

Coming through. I forgot to ask who wanted decaf, who wanted regular.

Still think it's working, Elise?

I'm not saying there are no bugs in the system, but let's make the best of it.

Two decaf, four regular. That is a surprise, huh? I mean, you would think

more people would want decaf. It just goes to show you, you never know.

Go on with what you were saying.

Please.

Not being able to spend time with you these past few days.

No,

no trouble at all.

Don't be silly.

None. Look.

The fight we had last night reminded me how much you mean to me.

It's made me understand that we have to take better care of us, of our

relationship.

Sometimes the world is too much with us and we forget the really essential

things.

But some things never change.

And no matter how much time goes by... We must remember this.

I didn't mean to interrupt.

It's just that we are two votes short of defeating the bill.

Can you think of any other councilman that might be played?

Uh, Max, try Max Blumenthal. Blumenthal.

A sigh is still a sigh.

I'm sorry, Stephen.

All I'm trying to say is that you're very important to me.

Last night, alone in the guest room, it felt so strange not having you next to

me.

And I realized that...

There would be a terrible void if I suddenly found myself without... Ralph

Jettlin. No, not him.

No, no, I think Ralph Jettlin could be talked into voting with us. Please.

No, I'm sorry, Stephen. I've got to tell Bernice. I'll be right back. Just a

second.

vote count go?

We think we have enough to win. We'll know for sure tomorrow.

Stephen, you're soaking wet.

I've been walking around since I left. For three hours in the rain? My

I didn't say I enjoyed it.

Come on upstairs and change. No.

Stephen, you're going to catch cold. At least I have some things to say to you

and I'm not changing my clothes until I say them.

You have every right to be angry. I am angry.

I'm just not sure if I'm angry at you or at me or at condominiums.

I'm confused.

Part of me feels selfish and part of me feels neglected.

All of you, it's wet and soggy. Won't you come up and change? I'm trying to

explain something to you and to myself.

Look, all of the things which have been taking up your time these past few days

have been...

Wonderful. Your career, spending time with the kids, helping distraught women.

Even though part of me wants you around the house all the time, I love the fact

that you're never here.

It didn't come out right.

I think I know what you mean.

It's just that I can't help feeling that at some point during the past few days,

you could have said no to someone besides me.

It seems like you're just taking me for granted.

It's because I'm taking you for granted.

So I was on the right track.

Well, don't think I'm taking for granted the fact that you let me take you for

granted.

If I understood that, would I be happy?

No, I meant it as a compliment.

You see, I was brought up to think of a husband as a be -all and end -all of my

existence. That a man should be the center of my life and that I should

live in his shadow and sublimate my ambitions to his and wait on him hand

foot and satisfy his every need, answer his every desire.

You can see how ridiculous that is, can't you?

Can't you, Stephen?

Oh, Stephen.

Sorry, a momentary laugh.

Of course I don't want that.

No, you'd hate it. Well, maybe hate is too strong a word.

Stephen, it's been your support and encouragement that's allowed me to grow

become the woman I am. I don't know another man that I could be fighting

right now.

I'm flattered.

But when things get hectic and I'm being pulled in all directions, I find that

I'm shortchanging you because I know that you'll always be there for me. I

to be there for you.

But I know I haven't been there for you.

But I wasn't there to share your award because I was doing things.

I know I've got to learn to say no to other things so that there'll be time

us.

So from now on, if it's between clean air and you...

Clean air's got to go.

Don't do that, Elise. Clean air is important.

All right. Clean air stays.

Let's see. What about... I know.

Planned parenthood.

You can't give that up.

Okay, okay. I know.

Pets without partners.

There's one that can go.

I hate to think of all those lonely pets.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.