All language subtitles for family_ties_s01e13_sherry_baby

I bet we've been together for a million
years.

And I bet we'll be together for a
million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the
night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did
before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do?

I don't mean to be rude, but do you guys
mind if I use this room for a while?

Oh, no, go right ahead.

Well, what I mean is, what I'm trying to
say... Want us to leave?

Well, not right away.

I was hoping you could help me clean up
before you left.

Do we have to leave the grounds
altogether? Can we find a room somewhere

hide?

Oh, you don't understand.

Sherry Marshall's going to be here any
minute, and I'm anxious to make a good

impression on her.

Who is Sherry Marshall?

She happens to be a Pi Nu, the best
sorority in the whole world. She's the

president. Is she coming alone or with
some secret service agents?

Yesterday, out of all the kids in Mrs.
Pover's class, Sherry picked me to do

science project with her.

I think she may ask me to pledge a
sorority, so I want everything to be

Dad, can you give me a hand with Skippy?

Oh, no!

Why are you bringing him in here? Is
that the voice of my beloved?

Is that you, Mallory?

I'm not your beloved, Skippy. We've been
through this before. I am your neighbor

and ex -babysitter. What happened?

Oh, he was going out for a pass, and he
ran into the pole.

Skippy, you were supposed to go to the
pool and stop.

I did. I stopped when I hit the pole.

Get a cold rag, honey. Come sit down,
Skippy. Oh, Mom, don't let him sit down.

Sherry's going to be here any minute.
He's hurt. He's got to sit down.

Well, then at least cover him up with
something.

Can't you talk nicely to Skippy?

Sorry, Dad.

Listen, Skip, uh...

It's vital that you leave now.

Someone very important is on her way
over to see me.

Obviously, I don't want her to think I
know you.

I understand.

Much better.

Come on, Skippy. Let's take a look at
that scratch. Yeah.

That's her. Quick, get him out of here.
Oh, Mallory. Hurry, hurry, before she

sees me.

really glad we're partners. It's going
to be a lot of fun, and it's a great

chance for us to get to know one
another.

Yeah, great.

Where's Alec?

Huh? Alec Keaton?

Isn't he your brother?

I suppose technically he is, yeah.

Anyway, I was thinking about something
along the lines of ecology.

Maybe a chart showing the breeding
cycle.

Is he here?

I don't know. We're really not that
close.

I run into him now and again down at the
market.

Oh, I hope you don't mind. It's time for
the commerce and shipping news.

Alex, we do mind. We're doing a project
for school here.

All right, all right. I'll listen to it
upstairs.

It's a lot more exciting in stereo
anyway.

Wait, you know what? I'll go with you. I
just love the commerce and shopping

news.

Shipping.

No, I don't think we've met.

I'm Sherry Marshall.

Great. Take care of yourself.

So anyways, what do you think about the
ecology thing?

Or maybe you have something else in
mind.

Did Alex ever go out with any of your
friends?

No, never. He says he has some kind of
reputation to uphold.

It's too bad.

He's really cute.

I was hoping we could double date
sometime.

Double date?

Me and you?

What if Alex never goes out with your
friends?

Did I say never? I don't know what I was
thinking.

You know, come to think of it, there's
still some openings on our sorority

We're voting on the next week at our big
dance.

That'd be a great place for a double
date.

I forgot my globe.

Uh, how's your project coming?

It's starting to shape up.

I've come up with a terrific idea for
Mallory's science project.

Isn't Mallory supposed to come up with
an idea?

Her idea was for Dad to come up with it.

Anyway, I think she should try making a
scale model of a molecule.

Mallory can't even make a salad.

Stephen, I can see it coming. You're
going to do the whole project for her.

Uh -huh. I learned my lesson on that
relief map of South America I did for

Jennifer.

I had to take an incomplete on that one.

I explained that to you, Jennifer. I ran
out of paint.

Anyway, I still think you should have
handed it in.

Mrs. Bannon's pretty sharp. I think she
would have noticed if Brazil was

missing.

Honey. Okay.

Uh, Jennifer, don't sit there. That's
Alex's chair.

Since when?

Well, he prefers to sit there. I think
we should let Alex have his way on that.

He asked so little of us.

Have you been into your hair dryer too
long?

Morning. Hi, Alex. Your favorite chair
is ready. I've been holding it for you.

What kind of cereal will you be having
this morning?

This kind.

Let me get that for you.

Would you like some toast to go with
that?

No, I'm not.

I'm going in early this morning. I
haven't got time to wait for toast.

Well, have Dad's.

I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't know you wanted
that.

Sure, there was no way you could tell.

Alex, what would you say if I told you I
could get you a date with one of the

most popular girls in school?

I'd say that I don't need your help to
do that.

Like who?

She is a wonderful girl with a great
personality.

No, sounds bad already.

Look, Mallory, this wouldn't be your
friend Sherry, would it?

Right. No way.

Why not?

Well, just the fact that you want me to
go out with her is enough reason not to.

That's sweet.

Look, Alex, for some strange reason,
Sherry Marshall thinks you're cute.

And I want you to go out with her, say
great things about me, and help me get

into Pioneer.

Mallory, you sound a little desperate
about the sorority. I'm not desperate,

I want to get in.

Is it worth joining the sorority,
though, if you have to be manipulative

deceitful to get in?

Yeah.

Oh, Mom, you know what these things are
like. The hard part is getting in, and

then once you're in, then you can be
yourself.

Oh, that's my ride. I've got to be in
early today.

Oh, what do you say, Alex?

She really thinks you're cute.

Listen, Mallory.

I don't go out with girls who have IQs
lower than room temperature, who have

contagious diseases, or who are friends
of yours.

And there's certainly some overlap in
those three categories.

How's your science project going, Dad?
It's not my science project, Jennifer.

It's Mallory's.

Having some trouble with it.

What is it?

Uh, ice.

Don't let it melt.

It's not really ice. This is a perfect
representation of a group of

water molecules.

Father's very proud of it. He's hoping
for an A.

Alice, why would you help me out on
this? It's just one date, that's all.

It's the principle, Mallory.

I am not some cheap floozy available for
one -night stands with people you want

to impress.

Next thing, you'll be asking me to jump
out of a cake.

I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

Hi, Skippy. Actually, no, we're just
going in to dinner.

As luck would have it, I'm free for
dinner tonight.

That is lucky.

Forget it, Skippy.

She's kidding. You're welcome to stay
for dinner, but call your mother. She

me over.

So, Skippy, what do you think of my... I
mean, Mallory's science project?

Well, my dad... I mean, mine came out
better.

Mallory's not finished yet.

Alice, I'm not just here for dinner
tonight. I'm here for a victory

Congratulate me and pay me.

What are you babbling about?

Well, remember that bet we made about
six years ago that I would never get any

grade higher than a C in school?

Well, read this and weep.

This is a hygiene test.

This doesn't count.

Look at these questions. When do you use
soap?

How could you miss that?

Test is a test, Alex. You owe me 50
bucks.

I haven't got 50 bucks.

It's dinner time for one of you.

Your mother said I could stay, Mallory.

She's had a high fever, Skippy. She
hasn't been herself.

Skip.

If I can get Mallory to let you stay for
dinner, will you knock five bucks off?

I'll take off ten.

You drive a hard bargain, Skipper.

You know, I could be persuaded to forget
the entire fifty if you could get

Mallory to go out with me.

I'd love to go along with you on that
one, Skipper, but let's try and stay in

the real world here.

It's just a chance for us to help each
other out, that's all.

Dinner is on the table.

Mallory, can I talk to you for a second?

What is it?

I was thinking, Mallory.

Yesterday, you came to me in your hour
of need to ask of me a favor.

I think that my rejection might have
been a little hasty.

You mean you'll go out with Sherry?

Yeah, I think so.

Great! That is wonderful!

Uh, there is, however, one small favor
that I'd like to ask of you.

Name it. Anything.

I'd like you to go out on a date with,
uh...

Young Irwin here.

I'd rather enter a convent.

I'm flattered by the competition.

Come on, Mallory, we can make this
palatable. It doesn't have to be a long

You don't even have to be civil.

Do I have to talk to him? Skip?

Well, a couple of words would be nice.

Of course you'll have to talk to him.
Then it's off.

Conversation's overrated, Skippy. The
important thing is you'll be together.

Okay, forget the talking. I'm flexible
on that one.

Do I have to go out in public with him?
That's up to Alex.

Yeah, I'm afraid so. See, we'll double
date. We'll go together to the pineu

dance. I'm not dancing with him.

There's not going to be any dancing,
Skip.

There's got to be dancing. This point is
non -negotiable.

I don't think he's bluffing, Mallory.

I'll write one dance. Two dances, one
slow.

Mallory?

I'd almost rather die than do this.

Sounds like a yes to me, Skip.

Now, don't lay it on too thick, okay? I
mean, tell Sherry how wonderful I am and

all that, but don't get too gushy about
it.

I'll try and control myself.

Hey, you two guys look great.

Oh, you really think so? I'm so nervous.

What's the big deal?

The big deal is that my life, my
reputation, my entire social status is

Alex's hands.

Then you shouldn't be nervous.

You should panic.

ready to go?

Yeah. I guess.

You look terrific, Mallory. Thanks, Mom.

Mallory, this is for you from Mom and
me.

Thank you.

I was under the impression that you two
weren't too crazy about the idea of my

joining. Well, we're not happy about the
way you're getting in, but we know it's

important to you.

Alex, what made you change your mind
about going out with Sherry?

Well, I thought it over and...

I realized that if it meant that much to
Mallory, it means that much to me.

Okay, you don't have to tell us if you
don't want to.

Skip!

Skip, what are you doing here? I told
you I'd meet you there.

I know, but you didn't tell me where it
was.

Mallory, I don't mean to pry, but I'm
kind of surprised that you and Skip...

Well, I mean, that the two of you...
That we're going out on a date? Yeah.

I had to do it. It's the only way I
could get Alex to go out with Sherry.

Yeah, you see, I'm going out with
Sherry, so Mallory will go out with

I don't have to pay Skippy the money I
owe him on a stupid bet.

Ah, to be young and in love.

Great sorority.

All girls, right?

Right.

Well, I think you're making a great move
asking my sister to join.

I mean, she's a girl and everything.

Alex, did anyone ever tell you that you
have a really cute nose?

This one?

Yeah. I like the way it just sits right
there, just right in the middle of your

face.

Well, I've tried other locations, but
I've always found that this one works

better.

You're funny, Alex.

You know, I find a sense of humor in a
man to be incredibly sexually

exciting.

A priest and a rabbi are in a rowboat.

Hi, you two. Having fun?

We were.

Now, don't believe everything Alex tells
you. I do have some flaws.

Here's one now.

So, Alex, how you doing with your woman?

Let's get it over with.

They make a cute couple, don't you
think?

Now, where were we?

Oh, I can't remember exactly. Something
about you finding me incredibly

exciting.

You know, Alice, I've admired you from
afar for a long time.

Well, now you can admire me from a
close.

Okay, everyone.

Okay, this is the moment we've all been
waiting for.

You didn't miss any names on that list?

No, that's all.

Um, my name's Mallory Keaton. Can you
check one more time?

I don't see your name on here anywhere.

I don't think it was submitted.

I don't understand.

Come on, Alex, let's go home.

Mallory, do you mind?

House, my name was not on the list to
place a sorority.

Oh, what are you talking about?

Sherry, wasn't Mallory's name on the
list?

I don't know. I'm not on the membership
committee.

Well, I thought you said you were going
to... Well, Mel, these things happen.

I mean, obviously Sherry did all she
could.

House, I want to go home now.

Sorry, I know how you feel.

I'll see you there.

You're not coming with me?

I have responsibilities, Mallory. I'm
needed here.

Mallory, I'll take you home.

Mallory! Hi, Dad.

Why are you sitting here in the dark?

I was just thinking.

What's that? Oh, this is your science
project.

I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd work
on it a little.

How am I doing on it?

I'll be honest, Mel, you're having
trouble.

At this point, it's a B or a B plus at
best.

Well, Dad, what's important is not the
grade, but what you learn from it.

How was the dance?

Terrible. I wasn't even invited into the
sorority.

Honey, what happened?

You want to talk about it?

What happened is that Sherry never even
put my name on the list.

I mean, she got what she wanted and then
forgot all about me. Oh, Mel.

I'm sorry.

How could I be so stupid?

Sherry was just using me.

Look, this may be hard to face, but, uh,
weren't you using her, too?

That's different.

How? It worked for her.

Thought I heard voices.

How was the party?

Jennifer, your brother is a jerk.

I know that.

How was the party?

You didn't get in, did you?

Nope.

I'm sorry, honey.

Forget them, Mallory. We don't need
those stinky P .U .s anymore.

High news.

Same thing.

How could Shuri use me like that? And
Alex knew she used me, and he still

there with her.

Well, we haven't heard Alex's side of
the story.

Well, what could he say? I'm sorry
Sherry ruined your life, but I think

cute.

Yeah, he could say that.

I could definitely picture Alex saying
that.

I never got my slow dance.

The party's over, Skippy.

Aren't you afraid you're spoiling him?

It's just Skippy.

You know, Mallory, for someone who was
treated rudely tonight, you haven't

learned any lessons from it. What do you
mean?

It's a little difficult for us to have
any sympathy for the way Sherry treated

you with Skippy out there in the
shrubbery.

Alex! Thought I saw a light on.

Alex, you have a lot of nerve coming
back home.

Mallory, just hear me out.

Yeah, I bet Alex told that Sherry off.

He probably just didn't want to walk out
on her.

He was just being polite, right, Alex?

Right, Alex?

Can I speak to Mallory alone, please?

Well, you guys do have some things to
work out.

Go on up to bed.

Skippy, why don't you go into the
kitchen and make yourself a few dozen

sandwiches?

Okay, but don't go to bed without
telling me.

You're proud of yourself, Alex.

What kind of brother are you? Wait a
minute, Mallory. Let's go back a few

here. You're the one who started this
whole thing.

You wanted me to go out with Sherry. You
wanted me to like her.

Yeah, but you were supposed to stop
liking her once I didn't get into Pinew.

I'm sorry. I should have read my rule
book on trickery and manipulation at

teenage dating.

No.

Don't play martyr with me, Alex.

You used me to get out of your bed with
Skippy.

I used you.

You used me first to go out with Sherry
to get you into Pinew.

That's only because Sherry was using me
to get to you.

Exactly. Sherry used me, you used me.
I'm the only one who got used twice.

And I wasn't even trying to get into
anything.

Well...

You

know what I mean.

Listen to us.

We're arguing over which one of us was
more sleazy.

I think you won.

Let's face it.

This has been quite an unsavory chapter
in our young lives.

I guess.

You know, when you think of it, the only
one of us who is pure of motive and

noble of heart is that young man in
there.

I'm sorry. I'll clean that up.

I don't know, Alice. It's like a
temporary insanity or something.

I wanted to get into that sorority so
bad that nothing else mattered.

Everybody goes through a moment or two
like that in their lives, Mallory.

Where was my pride, my self -respect?

They didn't want me. Why did I want
them?

They do have great sweaters.

I'm sorry, Alex. I really owe you an
apology.

Well, it's possible that my behavior has
not exactly been above reproach.

I owe you an apology, too.

Accepted.

You know, if it makes you feel any
better, I told Sherry that if you

good enough for her, she wasn't good
enough for me.

I'm not going to be seeing her anymore.

That's for me.

That's not Sherry.

That's Lisa.

She's the sergeant at arms.

She's not like those other girls.

You'd really like her.

I'll bet.

Why don't you go on? I'll go to bed.

I will.

I got something to take care of first,
though. What?

I owe somebody something.

Can you come in here, please?

Erwin, they're playing our song.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.