Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years And I bet we'll be

together for a million more It's like I started breathing

on the night we kissed When I can't remember what I ever did

before What will we do, baby, without us?

What will we do?

Without us And there ain't no nothing We can't love

each other through What would we do, baby Without

us Sha -la -la -la

Forget it, Jennifer. I don't want to discuss it with you. Alex, you're my

brother. I look to you for guidance.

All right, what do you want to know?

Who do you like in today's game, Notre Dame or USC?

Well, I'd have to go with USC.

I don't know.

USC is favored by two and a half.

I think I'd better go with Notre Dame.

Jennifer, you'd always ask me what team I'd pick, and then you'd go and bet the

other side.

No. Works every time.

What are you doing here, Mom?

sprouts and the stuffing. What are you guys, the vegetable patrol?

Mom, it's Thanksgiving, not Chinese New Year. I just want to try something a

little different this year, that's all.

What's the traditional American holiday? How is Jennifer supposed to know what

Thanksgiving's all about if you insist on serving foreign food?

You know what Thanksgiving's all about, Alex?

It's when the Indians and the Pilgrims ate together and the Indians got stuck

with the check.

That's not how it happened at all, Jennifer.

You have to understand that civilization marches forward and it marches better

on paved roads.

The Indians had the land first, Alex.

Yeah, but they weren't using it. They were just roaming around, cooking

outdoors, wearing beads, living in tents.

Just like Mom and Dad used to.

Alex, the fact is we stole that land from the Indians.

What do you want us to do now, Mom? Give it back?

Yeah, starting with your round.

Ah, look at these, Elise.

I found them in the attic. I figure we can use some of them today.

This is so embarrassing. I can't believe you two are going to go out there and

make fools of yourselves this afternoon.

We're going out to demonstrate against nuclear arms. There's nothing foolish

about that.

I don't think this is very useful now.

It wasn't that useful then.

McGovern, Muskie, McCarthy, you guys really knew how to pick the winners,

you?

Maybe that's where you get it from, Alan.

Aren't you going to feel ridiculous? You're going to be the oldest ones by 50

years. That's okay, Mallory. They can take our pulse every half hour.

It's a shame you kids don't realize the importance of this issue. No, we're not

talking about repainting the fire hydrants.

We're talking about the future of mankind.

The question you kids should be asking is why we continue to make hydrogen

when we already have enough to kill the Russians 40 times over.

Don't be so melodramatic, Mom.

From the beginning of time, there's been weapons, and there's always been a

fringe element who've overreacted. I'm sure that even in the early days, there

were bleeding -heart cavemen running around with signs that said, Make love,

clubs.

Alex, are you actually in favor of nuclear weapons? I'm in favor of us

them, not using them. Why do we have them if we're not going to use them?

That's a dumb question, Jennifer. It's called a deterrent force.

Do both sides have a detergent force?

It's a deterrent force, Jennifer. It means that the more weapons both sides

have, the less chance that either side will have to use them.

Why can't both sides just have no bombs?

It's too late. We already paid for them.

Well, your father and I don't think it's too late, neither do a lot of other

people. They expect a very big crowd out there today. Come on, admit it. You two

are just going out there because it makes you feel young and alive again.

No, we're going out there so that someday you can feel old and alive.

Daddy?

I want you to know that I'm behind what you and Mommy are doing 100%. Well,

thank you, Jennifer. I'm very happy to hear that.

I didn't have to supervise the cooking. I'd go with you.

Grandma and Grandpa will be here, and Grandma will do all the cooking.

That's what I'm talking about.

Grandma is an excellent cook. An excellent cook?

Mom, I'm using one of last year's biscuits as a doorstop.

What does flower power mean?

Oh, it was a symbol of that twisted era.

You know, love, flowers, peace.

Kiss me, you creeps.

Jennifer, don't listen to him.

Flower power was another way of telling people to put down their weapons and to

give each other flowers and love instead.

For a while, all the girls were wearing flowers in their hair.

Did you, Mommy?

Mm -hmm, until your dad made me stop.

Didn't he like flower power?

Yes, but he had hay fever. It was a very difficult period for him.

You got to sit down. I'll put some water on it for tea. Kate, you didn't have to

bring your own dishes.

Those are biscuits.

I think they came out a little lighter this year.

She baked them last night, so she can have more time for the pies today.

Uh, Grandma, your baking pies?

Uh -huh.

Oh, boy. Um, I don't know if our oven's working.

Jennifer, the oven's fine.

Mom, we're really pleased to see you, but we didn't expect to hear so soon.

Well, we wanted to spend as much time with you as possible.

Also, our TV's broken, and Grandpa wants to see the game.

Who do you pick this game, Grandpa?

Oh, are you kidding?

Notre Dame.

Two and a half points. It's a steal.

All right.

Steal.

We would have been here earlier, but we got held up in traffic.

There's some kind of dumb demonstration starting up downtown.

What kind of idiots would demonstrate on Thanksgiving?

Just your everyday run -of -the -mill ones.

Actually, Dad, Steve and I are planning on going to that demonstration.

Oh, you almost had me going there.

Yeah, for a minute I believed you.

What's the issue this week? The Chad -Sudan border dispute?

More fluoride in the water. More fluoride in the toothpaste.

Nuclear disarmament.

Here we go again. Oh, look, Kate, they've even got the old signs out.

don't get yourself all worked up. You know, by going out there, you two are

giving aid and comfort to the enemy.

Yeah, the Kremlin called us this morning and they specifically asked us to be

there on time, so if you don't mind... Aren't you two ever going to learn?

We're not the ones who are escalating the arms race. It's the Soviets. We're

just trying to keep up. What it all boils down to, Charlie, is that the

people of the world are being held hostage by the political disputes

superpowers. Well, it's all... always been that way, Stephen.

Yes, but we haven't always had weapons capable of wiping out civilization in

fell swoop. Charlie, one of these governments has got to be the first to

acting rationally. Well, it's not going to be us.

Now, listen, Charlie, I'm just trying to make... Look, look, this is

Thanksgiving Day. Let's not argue.

Look, Stephen and I will be gone for a couple of hours, then we'll be back and

we'll have a nice meal together.

This is a happy occasion, right?

You're right. I'm sorry.

It's more like it. You two want to go off and demonstrate? I guess that's your

business. Kate, we'll see you later. All right.

Dad,

do you want to take any of Grandma's biscuits with you?

No, thank you. We've already got some sandwiches.

Not to eat. To play frisbee with.

What's the score of the football game here, Alpha?

He fell asleep a few minutes ago.

So what's the score of the game?

I don't know. As soon as he dozed off, I switched the channel.

That soap opera? How can you watch that junk? It's demented. It's depraved.

Who's she?

That's Belinda.

Is that her husband?

Which guy?

The guy in the strapless gown.

That's the plumber. Her husband hasn't been around since he lost his job. He

a nervous breakdown, moved to Union City, and now he gives sewing lessons.

Everything's under control in the kitchen.

I'm keeping Grandma away from the stove.

Good going.

I thought of doing some busy work. You know, organizing the potholders and

folding and unfolding the paper bags.

Alex,

I'm surprised at you. How could you watch this stuff?

I'm simply monitoring what you kids are watching. Jennifer, I have no interest

in this trash.

Me neither.

Is that Plumber back again? Yeah.

That's him over there next to Belinda.

Nice gown.

You know, we better put the game back on. I mean, if Grandpa wakes up and sees

us watching this, we're gonna be in trouble.

Don't be silly. You can't get in trouble with grandparents.

All you have to do is kiss them when they come in the door, tell them you

them, let them buy your stuff, you're okay.

You're a sentimental guy, Alex.

You know, sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to have parents like them

of Mom and Dad. You know, you can bet they wouldn't be out at that

today. Yeah, they wouldn't kiss in front of us all the time like a couple of

adolescents. Yeah, and Mom would give up her career and all those silly women's

groups. You're losing me fast, Alex.

I made some sandwiches to tide you over to dinner. Who wants one?

Prim, thank you.

But we don't want to spoil her appetite.

Oh, don't be silly. We won't be eating for hours.

We know that, but your food is...

So, so special. We don't want to rush into it.

Oh, you're just saying that.

No, I'm not.

Well, it didn't take him long to conk out.

What are you kids watching?

Oh, it's a documentary.

Is that plumber back again?

He just never gives up.

Did I miss anything? What's the score of the game?

But, Charlie, can I fix you something to eat?

No.

I mean, no, no, no, thank you. I don't want to spoil my appetite.

Come on, Rhett, that's clipping.

Give me a break here.

And here's a news update on a past breaking story.

Trouble broke out this afternoon at the Blackstone Nuclear Research Laboratory.

That's Mom and Dad.

Nobody knows exactly who started it, but it looks like a lot of people are going

to spend this Thanksgiving in jail.

You're not actually going to lock the door on us, are you?

Well, I was seriously considering it.

Look, technically, I know we are prisoners and you are the guard, but is

really necessary? I mean, it seems a little excessive.

Humor me.

When can we get out on bail?

The judge has to set bail.

And if he has to come in on Thanksgiving to do it, he ain't going to be in a

real generous mood.

You mean we might have to spend the night in jail?

Well, if the judge goes out of town, then you'll have to spend the weekend in

jail.

Thanks for being so sensitive.

I can't believe this.

I've never been arrested before. I don't know what to do, what to say.

Am I dressed all right?

Perfectly. As if when you put on those clothes, you knew you'd end up in jail.

Look, look, I think we should get organized here, huh?

You're right, you're right. We need a spokesperson.

Has anyone here ever been arrested before?

I have. I have.

We're together.

Did you meet in jail?

No.

No, no. We were arrested in Washington, D .C. It's a big peace rally.

I was arrested in Washington, too.

For protesting the war?

No, for armed robbery.

Hey, come on now. Give me a break. I did my time. I'm over with that now.

Sort of.

What do you mean, sort of?

Well, I got arrested at the demonstration today.

Well, we all did.

I got arrested for pickpocketing.

All right, all right, all right. Look, no matter what our different backgrounds

may be, we are in this together.

Now, I think what's obviously on everybody's mind is how do we get out of

Anyone have any ideas?

Yeah, yeah.

I say we tie all the sheets together, hang them out the window, and go over

wall.

We don't have any sheets.

We don't have any windows.

Other than that, it was a great idea.

Mom, Dad, are you okay?

Alex! Alex, how are you? I'm fine.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, Charlie.

Well, this sure brings back memories.

I thought I was through bailing you guys out.

Nobody here wants to be bailed out by you, Charlie.

I got a party of two over here.

How are Jennifer and Mallory? Everybody's okay, Mom. Don't worry.

How'd you know we were here? You were on the news.

Oh, listen, we have good news.

They're handing these out to everyone who was arrested at the demonstration.

judge drew it up. All you have to do is sign it, and you can come home.

As a condition of bail, I, the undersigned, hereby pledge never again

part in any form of protest against nuclear arms.

Furthermore, I will sign a public statement that's blackmail.

Could you pass one of those over here, please?

What do you think?

I don't think we should sign it, Elise. There's a principle at stake here.

Hey, wait a minute. We're not talking about a weekend in Hawaii here. This is

jail. You're surrounded by hardened criminals, societal misfits, vermin.

No offense.

None taken.

This is illegal.

Sign away a basic constitutional right, the right to dissent. Mom, it's just a

piece of paper. They can't change how you feel. They can change how I feel

myself. And if I sign this paper, I have a hunch I won't feel very good.

Now, look, you've got other people to think about besides yourself.

Yeah, in case you've forgotten the names. They're Alex, Mallory, and

I am thinking of you. I want you to know your father is a man who stands up for

what he believes.

Yeah, I'll take your word for it. I'm easy. Just come home.

Well, what do you think? Should we sign it or shouldn't we?

Well,

I think it's pretty obvious.

Don't you?

Yeah. All right, good.

Goodbye.

I'm sorry, Alex. I can't.

Mom.

Alex, I want to come home more than anything in the world, but I won't sign

this. Please try to understand.

If you'd rather stay here, fine.

Come on, Alex. Let's go.

Dad. Alex. Come on.

Try to understand our point here, Alex. You know what's wrong with parents

today? They still think they can change the world.

Where's Mom and Dad?

Why don't you bring them home?

Let me tell you two something about your parents.

They're stubborn. They're childish.

They're making me old before my time.

They must be okay if they had time to fight with Dallas.

You couldn't bail them out?

Of course we could bail them out. They wouldn't let us.

They're staying in jail.

I don't understand this. Why would they choose to stay in jail?

Well, they wouldn't sign the paper.

What paper?

It was nothing. Just an apology. That's all.

That's all?

You know, something about never demonstrating again.

Routine stuff.

Routine stuff? Sounds more like blackmail.

Grandpa, I'm surprised that you can't. You control your own daughter.

No, never could either.

Our parents can't control their daughters either.

I guess you have a lot in common.

I thought it was supposed to get easier as your kids get older.

I thought it was supposed to get easier as your parents got older.

Then why were they out there demonstrating in the first place?

Did they think... It's giving.

It's a day for tranquility, for harmony, for peace.

Isn't that what they were demonstrating for?

What about peace and harmony in the home?

Don't you think they'd rather be here with us than in jail?

Then why aren't they here?

Because they very firmly believe that nuclear arms are threatening the world's

future. Why don't they let other people worry about that stuff?

Because they care.

They have to care in public.

They do everything else in public.

Why go to jail over something like this?

Nobody is insane enough to use nuclear weapons, not when they know the enemy

them, too.

What if the people in charge of the bomb aren't as smart as you, Alex?

I still can't believe they could do this to us. I mean, how could they be so

selfish? Wait a minute. What are they doing to us?

They're not the ones who are being selfish.

We're here in a nice house surrounded by people we love.

They're in a jail cell because of something they believe in.

I think it takes a lot of guts to do what they're doing.

So do I.

And I'll tell you something else. I wish I'd had the guts to go out there and

demonstrate with him today instead of staying here and cooking.

We all do, dear.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am going to have Thanksgiving dinner

with my daughter and my son -in -law.

I'm having dinner with her daughter and her son -in -law, too.

Anybody else?

This place could use some redecorating.

First thing I'd do is take out those bars.

That wouldn't take much. Just a few green plants, maybe a throw rug right

Some end tables.

All in for grub.

Why do I suspect we'll be disappointed with this meal?

Come on.

get something special for Thanksgiving?

Yeah, this is it.

Yellow water with green stuff floating in it?

You're lucky. Most days you don't get the green stuff.

Well, have a happy, safe Thanksgiving.

Good men need to get outdoors more often.

Stephen,

do you think we did the right thing?

I did until they brought us this.

The kids are mad at us and Dad's mad at us. I'm not mad at you.

That's quite a consolation.

Anybody here interested in a home -cooked meal? You don't know how

is to see you guys.

Without you two at home, it just didn't seem like a holiday.

Well, we haven't been exactly whooping it up in here either.

I brought you this flower for your hair, Mommy. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you,

sweetheart.

I missed you.

Not half as much as we missed you.

Uh, where are the others?

Oh, well, uh... Well,

it was hard to get everyone in the car. Well, with all the food and all.

Didn't want to come, huh?

If you're still there at Christmas, maybe Alex will drop in.

Well, I've got a lot of food I've cooked up here, so let's get to it.

There's plenty for everyone if you'd like a little taste.

You'd taste?

Yes. No, thanks.

but you thought to bring food down to us. Oh, I want to give you a hug. Yeah,

come on, sweetheart.

Hey,

come on. Hey, wait a minute. Let's do this right.

Come on.

I can't believe it. You two can't even control yourself in prison.

Alex! Grandpa!

I thought you weren't coming in until the cow jumped over the roof. That's

a figure of speech, John.

It just didn't seem right, that's all. I mean, I feel... supposed to be together

for Thanksgiving.

Yeah, I know. We're sorry if we spoiled your Thanksgiving.

No, no. I think we're the ones who should do the apologizing.

There's something Grandma said that made us realize this is something you both

care very deeply about.

What did she say?

This is something you both feel very deeply about.

You really have a way with words, Grandma.

I just want you to know that I respect the fact that you're standing up for

beliefs, even if I don't agree with them.

Yeah, I think that goes for all of us.

Yeah, yeah, all of us.

I mean, I might not agree with everything you have to say, but what

American would I be if I didn't support your right to say it?

Thank you.

It means a lot to us.

One of the happiest days of my life.

Hey, that's my handkerchief.

Well, come on, let's eat.

Good idea.

Well, let's just say there isn't a guard in the joint who doesn't have one of my

dumplings.

The plot.

They'll all get sick, and you could escape.

Let's save the sweet talk for later and eat. I'm starving.

Do you want me to file the bars or carve the turkey?

Or I could file the bars with the turkey.

This is turning out to be a great Thanksgiving.

Oh, we've got our health. We've got each other. We've got turkey. What else do

we need?

things that you've done this year and for keeping us well and happy.

I'm really sorry about that incident with Ron's dwarf and his lunchbox and

turtle, but we can discuss that later.

Most of all, I want to thank you for watching over Mommy and Daddy today and

letting them be hurt.

They're the best parents in the whole world, even if they are a couple of

jailbirds.

Amen. Amen.

Well...

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.

Woo!