Original subtitles

I can't believe you guys could watch this. You look ridiculous.

Half a million people trying to stop a senseless war. You find that ridiculous?

I'm talking about the outfit.

I'm dying.

I'm dying.

Promise me you'll never show these when my friends are here. Promise, or I'm

leaving home right now.

Mallory, that was history in the making. There were people at every state in the

union at that protest.

What were you protesting?

Good grooming?

Mommy, you look so pretty.

Like an Indian princess.

That's your father, dear.

There I am.

You look almost as pretty as Daddy.

Daddy, how long ago was that?

That was very long ago.

In a galaxy far, far away.

All right. Who wants to see the Peace Corps slides?

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

It's like I started breathing on the night we kissed.

When I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do?

We can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

You're up early.

Hi, yeah. I thought I'd get a jump on this. I promised the Emersons I'd have

in by Thursday.

This is their dream house project, huh?

Yeah. What do you think?

There's no door connecting this side of the house with the other side.

Well, the Emersons don't like each other all that much.

This is a little extreme, though, isn't it? Are you kidding? I had to talk him

out of putting in a moat.

I don't think the kids were too impressed with our slideshow last night,

No, no. I recognize that glazed look in Alex's eyes. Same look I used to get

when my father talked to me about the Depression.

Well, I enjoyed them anyway.

I can't believe how young I looked. We all look young.

Yeah, but you still look the same.

Oh, go on. Actually, if anything's changed, it's that you look even better

Oh, go on. No, I mean it.

There's just something wonderful about the way you look.

I said go on.

Oh, God. Are you two pawing at each other again?

I don't consider a legitimate display of affection pawing. Do you know what

pawing is?

Of course I know what pawing is.

I'm dating... Richard DeFazio, aren't I?

Not anymore.

You guys have been married a long time. Haven't you had enough?

I haven't. Have you?

No. Sorry.

Gross.

Is this my lunch?

Yeah. What's in it? You'll like it. Are there sprouts in here? There are no

sprouts. Nothing alive?

Nothing alive. Nothing healthy. Don't worry.

Well, how do I...

Middle -aged.

Dad, recent studies show you can predict success by the way a person dresses.

Alec, you're a young man. You shouldn't be worried about success.

You should be thinking about hopping on a tramp steamer and going around the

world or putting a pack on your back and heading down to Mexico or South

America, anywhere.

The 60s are over, Dad.

Thanks for the tip.

Anybody know what the capital of Iowa is?

That nails that down a little.

Actually, Jennifer, Iowa is the one state that has no capital.

So you see, it's the responsibility of every American to look after Iowa.

I'll get it. It's for me.

Hello?

Yeah, just a second. Jennifer, it's for you.

Don't talk too long, okay? I'm expecting an important call.

Who are you expecting a call from?

Oh, no one.

Kimberly Blanton.

Who's Kimberly Blanton?

Nobody. She's a super -rich chick at school who drives a yellow convertible

looks like a Barbie doll.

Alex thinks you might be interested in him.

What are you, the town crier?

I have no secrets from my father.

Yeah, okay, bye.

I'll get it. It's for me.

Hello?

Jennifer, it's for you.

I'll be Chrissy again.

She's going through a personal crisis.

Come on, Alex. She's not going to call.

Girls like Kimberly Blanton just don't call guys like you.

Thank you.

You see, he's been chasing her for three months now, and he hasn't even gotten

to first base.

That's not true.

I've been chasing her for two months, but we're making progress. You know,

got a dialogue. The lines of communication are open.

Which is more than I can say for the phones in this house. Jennifer, you're

nine years old. How much can you possibly have to say? Can you hold on a

Chrissy? Look, I may be only nine years old, but I'm a person, too. I have a

right to speak on the telephone without being harassed by you.

Get off the phone now.

No, what happened?

Alex hit me.

Jennifer?

Okay. He really didn't hit me, but he wanted to. I could see it in his eyes.

Alex, get a grip on yourself. If Barbie's gonna call... Her name is not

Hello?

May I tell him who's calling?

Kimberly Blanton.

Kimberly. Oh, I'm sorry, Kimberly. I don't think he... Alex P. Keaton here.

Smooth, Alan.

Kimberly, what a pleasant surprise.

Tonight? Just a minute, let me check.

Kimberly's coming over to study with me tonight. Is it all right if she has

dinner with us first?

Sure, if you want her to.

Tonight seems to be clear, Kimberly.

All right, very good.

Okay, I'll see you at school.

Goodbye.

this excited since Reagan was elected.

Hey, what are you doing? I was listening to that. That's depressing, Dad.

This is an up night. This guy sounds like he's in pain.

He's supposed to be in pain. He's a folk singer.

Now that's depressing.

You know, the house doesn't look that great.

Well, what time is Kimberly coming? Maybe we can have it painted before she

here.

Tonight's tonight, isn't it?

Kimberly Blanton here in our very own home.

Like a dream.

Very funny.

She probably just wants to check out your table manners. See if you know what

the small fork is for. That kind of stuff.

Come here. I'll show you what the small fork is for.

Alex, maybe you're getting a little carried away here.

I mean, if Kimberly doesn't like you or your family for who they are, then maybe

she isn't worth caring about at all, don't you think?

Are you going to wear your hair like that or are you going to put it on?

Alex, I changed my mind. I don't want to wear this.

Too late.

Too late, Jennifer. A deal's a deal.

I'll give you your dollar back.

That's her.

Okay, that's her.

All right.

Everybody, just stay calm.

Oh, small forks for salad, right?

Right, and the spoons for soup?

Soup. Right.

Okay. Okay, just, uh, act natural.

Hi. Sorry I had to answer the door myself. Our butler's off tonight.

Well, tell me, Kimberly, what are you studying in school?

Oh, you know.

Sounds exciting.

Well, what Kimberly means is that it's the same stuff I'm studying. So, you

know, you're probably familiar with it.

So, Dad, do you think we made sail around the world this summer?

I'll be honest with you, Alex, it doesn't look good.

Kimberly sailed to the south of France last summer. Oh, that sounds

I've always wanted to go there. What was that like?

Well, it was okay.

It's real different, though.

I'll tell you one thing. If you're ever going to the Riviera, you're going to

have a really hard time trying to find a decent cheeseburger.

Well, thanks for the warning. We'll just take our own.

too. To Cleveland.

It's far away and everything.

We got to take the bus.

The bus?

What do you mean?

What my sister means is that we went to visit our grandmother.

Grandmare.

We were going to fly.

I manage the public television station here in town.

Oh, what a cute job.

That's a station with all the English shows, right?

I wouldn't say they're all English. There are some.

Yeah, I know. I've watched it once or twice.

But I really miss the commercials.

I forgot, Kimberly. What is it you... Did you say you're studying?

You know.

Have you decided what you're going to major in in college?

Well, yeah.

See, I really want to dedicate my life into helping others.

Well, I really want to be a cheerleader.

I'll get the tea.

Oh, let me give you a hand with that.

Thanks.

Well, what do you think?

You see something else or what?

of your wife's bedroom, but that's as far away as I could get it.

I mean, I did have to stay on the property.

Well, we could try that, but it would mean going underground.

Okay. Give my best to Mrs. Emerson.

Hello?

Trouble in paradise?

anything about polo polo jim really is picking me up any minute now today's a

big tournament for the gray cup or the blue cup some kind of cut i was told one

of you at least know the rules polo never mind i'll just ride the way

else does i think maybe he was switched at birth and the rockefellers have our

kid

Could be. I wasn't going to tell you, but this morning I found a copy of the

Wall Street Journal under his bed.

I just had a thought.

What?

Alex is going to be gone for the whole day, and Mallory's on her way out, too.

Why don't you and I go upstairs, put on some old Johnny Mathis albums?

What about Jennifer? She's still home.

Give me your master charge and let her check into the Holiday Inn for the

weekend.

She is almost ten.

You two never stop, do you?

Don't you knock before you enter someone's living room? Don't you two

self -control?

I mean, it's not even lunchtime.

I won't be home for dinner. There's going to be a little party after the

game. It's a polo match, you clod. I can't believe what I have to put up

Where is the party going to be?

Oh, it's over at the Carlton Country Club.

Alex, the Carlton is a restricted club.

Oh, that's all right. I'll be with the Blantons. You know, it's really neat

there. They got an indoor pool.

You can eat on the terrace.

And if you get a phone call, they bring the phone right to your table.

That'll come in handy for you in case Elliot Chainway calls.

What your father means is that the Carlton Country Club doesn't have any

that are black.

Or Jewish or Hispanic or any other group that didn't come over on the Mayflower.

I just want to go to a party, Mom. I don't want to change the world.

Bye.

Hello, is this the Carlton Country Club?

Listen, my name is Stephen Keaton.

No, I'm not a member.

Yes, I can hold.

Hi. I'm trying to locate my son, Alex Keaton. He's with the Blanton Party.

No, Alex is not a member either.

Yes, I can hold.

Okay, well, listen.

That's what I thought it was, too. I'll try it out on the highway and let you

know.

Okay, thanks a lot.

Who's that?

One of the mechanics over at the Volvo place.

Which one?

Sven.

Sven's home number?

He was at the shop.

I'm thinking of maybe taking the car in for him to have a look at.

Hey, that's quarter to ten.

Well, you get a discount if you bring it in at night.

You know how the Swedes are. They're used to working late. Land of the

Sun and all that.

Norway is Land of the Midnight Sun.

Well, if you're a fool, Sven, I'd better get down there and tell him.

Okay.

That wasn't really Sven.

You're kidding.

I was trying to reach Alex. There was something I wanted to tell him. Well,

can't this wait till he comes home?

That's what I wanted to tell him, to come home now. It's driving me crazy

he's over there, Leif.

Stephen, I don't like it any more than you do, but Alex is Alex. He sees things

differently than we do.

I know he does.

And I admit, up to now, some of it's been cute.

I didn't mind the pop quiz on wines the other night.

And if he wants to have a poster of William Buckley over his bed, that's his

business.

But we have to draw the line somewhere, and I think a restricted club is a good

place to draw it.

Kimberly tells me you're quite a sailor, Alex.

Um, well, I'm okay.

You know, I'm no Popeye.

What's your favorite kind of craft?

Woodworking.

I'm sorry to disturb you.

Everything's all right.

I just like... Can I speak to you for a second, Alex?

Hello, Kimberly.

Hello, Mr. Keaton. May I introduce my parents, Dad?

Dave Keaton.

Preston Blanton.

My wife, Emily.

How do you do? I'm fine, thank you.

There isn't any trouble, is there? No, no.

Just that I forgot to tell Alex something.

Sit down for a moment, Mr. Keaton. No, really, I can't stay. Thank you. Roger,

bring a chair for Mr. Keaton, please.

That's okay, Roger. Don't bother. I'm fine.

Just for a moment.

Go ahead. Bring it, Roger. Roger, don't.

Oh, okay. You can bring me a chair.

Excuse us for a minute.

Excuse me.

What's going on, Dad?

Alice, I want you to come home with me now.

Not so loud.

I'm sorry. This place makes me mad. And when I'm mad, I'm loud. Now, come on.

Let's go. I don't want to make a scene.

I think it's a little too late for that. I was hoping that you'd come to it

yourself, but obviously you don't understand the moral ramifications of

being here. Oh, Tab, will you just stop it? Don't you understand what this place

stands for?

It's elitist. It's exclusionary.

Boy, these things are great. What are they?

Harumaki, sir.

Are there any without liver?

I guess the parent of the year award is pretty much out the window.

Well, I wouldn't say you're the top contender, but who knows?

I made a big mistake tonight, didn't I?

What are you guys doing down here?

You had to eavesdrop from the top of the stairs.

Why is Alex mad at you, Dad?

Well, Dad went a little crazy tonight, and I really hurt your brother's

feelings. You mean you had a little attack where you can't control yourself,

you say things...

Yeah. I get those a lot.

I'll stay away from the Carlton Country Club.

I will.

I'd like to talk to you, Dad, okay?

Okay, girls, let's go up.

Go ahead, Mom.

We'll meet you up there.

Nice try, kid.

It was worth a shot anyway.

Before you say anything, Alex, I just want you to know I'm sorry.

Dad, before you say anything more, I just want you to know that that's not

enough. I'll write notes of apology to the Blantons and to Kimberly.

What'd you tell them, anyway?

I told them the truth.

You were my dad's twin brother, and you escaped from a home.

Thanks for covering for me.

You really humiliated me. You humiliated me, Dad. I mean, how could you do that?

Alex, it's hard to know when to interfere and when to let you go on your

When you were little, it was easy.

Take the poison and put it on a high shelf, give you a safe place to play and

make sure you don't tumble down the stairs.

As you get older, it gets harder. The line between protecting and interfering

can get blurry. I tripped over it tonight, if you may have noticed.

You were really something out there.

You know, it's funny. My father, your Grandpa Jake, was a very unemotional

very distant, very proper. He was so proper, I didn't know he cared.

He didn't show it.

I guess I overreact because he didn't react at all. You understand?

Yeah, I guess.

Look, Alex, I was wrong to go over there like that, but I hope you understand

why I felt so strongly about your being at a restricted club.

I do, Dad.

But I'm 17 years old.

I mean, when I see Kimberly Blanton in a strapless evening gown, I don't look

past her for the Bill of Rights.

I was 17 myself once.

But I had principles. I had beliefs.

I... Well, now that you mention it, I do recall working

for Nixon for a couple of weeks in 1960.

Richard Nixon?

You see...

There was this young Republican, Sandra Futterman, a real

fascist, but she wore it well.

I mean, Sandra was... Well, she had a...

There was a way she could... I get the point, Dad.

I love you, Alex, very much.

Sometimes... It overwhelms me, and I make mistakes like tonight. I know there

are other fathers who are more in control, more reserved, more adult, but

are none who love their sons more than I love you.

I know you do, Dad.

I mean, that's the crazy part.

Even when we were out there bunny -hopping tonight, mad as I was, and I

hopping mad.

I knew.

Good.

But I'm not you, Dad.

I mean, we're two different and separate people.

I know that.

Think this kind of thing is going to happen again?

I don't know.

They're both getting older.

One of us is bound to grow up sooner or later.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.