Original subtitles

I still can't believe this press release.

Senator Perez's interest in the human hair is solely for the purpose of

legitimate scientific inquiry.

Oh, with all the science.

Hey, what was that line about why he's winning this campaign?

He wants to focus on his important work on the Hill.

You took down a presidential candidate, girl. Not a lot of people can say that.

Yeah, you're going to get a book deal out of this one.

Ooh, all the presidents main.

No? Nice scoop, Mariz.

How'd you score that video?

Uh, I don't reveal my sources.

Tell me again why I'm wearing this ridiculous thing.

We can't have you taking sides, Gov, after Perez's hairy situation.

You are officially in third place. And Coach Sturgeon's endorsement is about to

make it even sweeter.

This is a big moment for us, but we need you to appear tough.

What are you talking about?

It's just that some people think that you're a bit of a dickless wonder.

Claire Scarlett Dobson.

Dang, my full name doesn't change the fact that it's true.

She's not wrong.

Thank you.

I start singing Hail to the Chief, but I don't want to get ahead of ourselves

here. Congrats on Tech's big season, Coach. Thank you. This is Stan.

Finally, I get to meet a real celebrity.

I understand you're in the running for the Heisman, Stan.

Yes, sir.

Hi. Claire.

Dobson. Governor Dobson's daughter. I came up with the campaign. Broken.

Dobson. Truth.

Freedom. DTF. Let's take a lap.

Interesting kids you got there.

How would you feel about a little warm -up before we announce the endorsement?

Absolutely. All right.

Go deep, Stan.

Let's see what you got, guv.

Oh, camera's up.

Oh, that's not supposed to end

that way.

My knee. What the hell?

Are you out of your mind, Thompson?

That's my star player.

I'm going to kill you, man.

I'm going to kill you, I tell you. Come here.

Hi, guys.

Where are you going?

I'm exhausted. I need to get some sleep.

Oh, so she does sleep.

I guess so.

Hey, does she snore?

Actually, yeah, a lot.

Hey, I never thanked you for the whole Perez thing.

You kind of just changed my life.

You would have done the same.

Well, you could have released the video yourself.

Honestly, having you back out here is better than anything. I could have

out of some scoop about hair.

Hair?

Hair.

You're the best.

All right, wake up. Let's go.

Announcement time. If any of you post that video, you will not live to see

another day. I just posted the video.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Over 750 ,000 views.

My desk is going to be popped.

You albino shit stick.

Well, they don't have to amputate.

That's the good news.

He will have a pronounced limp, but they said with some rehab, he'll be able to

walk without much pain.

He has 22 ,856 Twitter followers.

And every single one is affected by this tragedy.

We want Johnson!

We want Johnson!

We want Johnson!

Let's go!

This bus is now the last helicopter out of Saigon! Go!

Claire, let's go!

Dad, I'm staying here to nurse Stan back to health. I already have hashtag

PrayForStan trending.

His big break is going to be my...

Big break. Get on the bus. I'm so sorry, Dad. I can't hear you. There's bad

reception everywhere.

I raised a monster.

Marissa, you look really hot today. Call me later.

Move it.

McGrady, let's go.

Come on. Go.

Get on the bus. Go.

Adios, amigos.

See you on the other side.

Yeah, no problem. Happy to help.

Bye.

Uh -oh.

What?

That was a fact checker from the New York Times Magazine.

She wanted to verify that we all had an off -the -record dinner with Dobson.

What? She called me earlier about getting baptized at the Evangelical

I told her it was a joke.

Shit, who's writing a magazine piece about the campaign?

McGrady? Gotta be.

How bad do you think it is?

Well, the top trending Google searches right now are Dobson dead in Iowa. Who

John Dobson and Claire Dobson feet?

And you're trending, so.

Charisma, sister.

Come here. Did someone spike the vial of blood she drinks every night?

Noah, you always hated me.

I liked you. I just, I have a different way of showing it. Okay, uh, why is she

talking about him in past tense?

Oh, I'm talking about all of us in the past tense. Because it is over.

Tweet about that tomorrow, suckers.

Oh, and can you tag me in it? Because I need a job.

What? The gov's dropping out.

I'm editing his speech right now.

Oh, no. Are you guys really sad now?

Do you want to talk about it?

Oh, my God. If you guys report that, seriously, you can't... Oh, fucking... I

will kill you. You can't... We won't. It's just... Kind of hard to believe

over. No.

I'll return to Rhode Island with a host of memories. I gave my all to you. And

so even when I lose, I'm winning.

Who wrote this? John Legend?

He even managed to put short pants in there. That's impressive.

No, no, no, TJ, please. I'm not going to report it, okay?

Why don't you worry about something more important for once?

Boom. Yep, no problem.

See ya.

What? You guys are here too?

I think I got left off the group text again.

Why all the sad faces?

Thompson's dropping out.

Seriously? What about roadside adventures with my best friends?

Come on, buddy.

Felicia drew our last night.

What's there to do around?

Where are we again?

Dyersville.

Do you guys like Kevin Costner?

Yes.

TJ.

Governor. How did you get my room number?

Please. I'm a hard -nosed reporter who's been on the trail for many months.

And I bribed the guy at the front desk.

Well done.

We need to talk.

The actual field of dreams. This might be the coolest thing I've seen in Iowa.

Hey, easy. We did see the world's largest frying pan in Brandon.

You guys think it's fun, too?

Only by the spirit of one of People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People,

And 91.

What?

Beautiful people like to read about beautiful people.

Hey, go flirt with those girls so we can take their booze.

On it.

Hunter S. Thompson is my favorite. You're going to talk about Hunter S.

Thompson. We should just go ahead and start.

Hey,

Brent, are you watching me?

You're really good at that.

Okay,

we'll need some flash on.

Oh, glamorous life of a political journalist.

Kind of weird how Iowa feels like home now.

Yeah. I'm even going to miss Miles.

Colby! What's happened to us?

We've gone full Iowa.

Maybe Dobson's right. There's something in the soil.

Fertility's infecting our brains with niceness.

I don't understand.

Me neither.

So what are you going to do next?

I don't know.

Maybe try something where I don't have to check my email every ten seconds?

Oh, that sounds boring.

You really should go for that newspaper gig.

You think?

I know.

What about you?

I don't know. That whole press thing really... Turned you into a rock star of

political journalism overnight?

I think I'm going to end it with Colin when I go back to D .C.

Oh.

You're a good writer.

Yeah? You try a little too hard sometimes. I mean, sucking dry the ample

of democracy.

I mean, no offense, but...

That's a bit much.

Quick, what are the three most memorable things that have happened to you in

Iowa? I stole a hotel waffle maker, got my ass kicked by a tiny wrestler,

I sold the case to the bus fucker, and I haven't showered in nine days.

I guess that was four.

Okay, perfect. Just build your narrative around all of that insanity and go from

there.

So what you're saying is if I build it, they will... No. No.

So do people around here do.

I'm going to be charitable and assume you're not asking condescendingly.

I am actually a bit of a wordsmith myself.

I'm applying to the Iowa Writers Workshop in the fall.

Only the best MFA program in the country? I mean, in the meantime, I'm

up a farm -to -table restaurant with a few infester friends.

So cool.

So, bus fucker? Oh, best story.

So, someone found a condom on the floor of the bus.

You know, for my money, Tin Cup was Costner's most honest performance.

Roy McAvoy taught us that people can change, but they can't be changed.

Water world is pretty underrated, too. You know, did you ever see that? It's

with all the water. All right, listen. I'm cold.

I'm unemployed.

I'm in the middle of fucking Iowa, and I want to suck some face.

Come here.

Okay, a bit eager. Sorry, sorry.

Bye, guys.

See ya.

I can seriously see myself staying here.

In Iowa?

Really?

Yeah.

I mean, the me of four months ago would have the me of now committed for saying

so, but... Yeah.

Why?

Everyone in New York thinks that it's the center of the universe, but it's

And the fact that they think it is makes it feel even smaller.

All the people here are real.

Whoa.

Write that down.

Why, was it an IQ?

No.

Do you think we're all going to hang out in D .C.? And people move on, you know?

Yeah, of course.

You and I will.

Yeah, definitely.

Look, shooting star. I saw it.

This feels good.

Yeah. Do you mind if I...

The closer it's cold.

Yeah, of course.

I just think you and I...

God! Oh!

Oh!

Hey,

what happens in Dyersville? He's never forgotten night's work, Miles.

Thanks, guys.

Don't look at me.

Ah, look who it is. Let me guess, you did it in a stable next to a family of

pigs? Oh, gross. I hope he showered.

Guys, please.

Spent the whole night talking.

Is that some new sexual position I have yet to try?

I've never had a connection like that with a girl.

Excuse me?

Woman.

I'm looking to take the word girl out of my vocab. So what do you say when you

actually see a little girl?

I call them miniature women now.

Is that offensive?

Oh, my God.

What? Sid.

The boys and girls on the bus.

blowing the doors off the sordid world of embeds on the presidential campaign

trail. The fact -checking. Who's her?

Assassin.

She's on Channel 5.

Now, Sidney, you write very frankly about your fellow embeds on the John

campaign trail in this tell -all piece.

Now, was this more awkward for you or was it more awkward for them?

I have great respect for my colleagues on the bus. Take Marissa Aquino, for

example. She let loose at a party. Who hasn't, right?

Unbelievable. But she's also an incredibly smart, hardworking, good

When we come back, the harrowing tale of how I snuck into Norway's seed vault

and did bath salts with glorious... Hey, Brynn, check it out. We got 50 likes on

our relationship status.

I'm going to fucking murder you.

Oh, I know what that means. No, you don't.

Since I played strip cup at a frat house in the New York fucking time.

She quoted from my journal.

Dan and Statham probably stole while I was sleeping.

You read that line she quoted to us out loud like ten times.

Oh, not me.

Well, well, well, where were you last night?

You guys heard, right? Yeah, she's been writing about it the whole time.

Gonna get fired for real this time.

What? No, I'm talking about Daphne. Huh?

He's staying in the race.

Yeah, I convinced him that he has nothing to lose in everything in the

Actually, I am leaving journalism to work for the campaign.

Communications director, actually.

I want to be your boss.

Excuse me.

I'll be right back.

Not enough that you betrayed us all, now you're calling a gloat? Oh, come on,

you're not really mad.

You came across well in the feed.

And Marissa? I'm sorry, if anyone's afraid of a smart, competent woman who

to party from time to time, that's their problem.

You screwed us.

Okay, again, we are not a team.

Well, the rest of us are.

Still can't believe TJ.

Thanks. And speaking of, you guys won't believe it, but a literary agent saw

Sid's article and wants to talk to me about a potential book deal. Wow.

Who's the agent?

Well, maybe she's more of a reality TV producer, but she does dabble in books,

according to her IMDb page.

No, that's incredible.

Congrats. The best part is I can stay in Iowa.

What?

I want to see how it goes with Annie.

And I can write.

I don't know. I just like it here.

Oh.

PJ, 20 minutes until Dawson's speech.

I'm just going to handle this.

Cool, yeah. I guess we'll just meet you at the art park. Okay.

I'm totally serious about this.

There's no better place to be a writer than Iowa.

No, I get it. I'm happy for you. I'm just going to miss you, man.

We all are.

I'm moving to Mars.

I'm moving to Le Mars, Iowa.

And do me a favor.

Marissa, make it happen.

I'm trying.

Good.

You two are perfect for each other.

I'm rooting for you.

Thanks, brother.

It means a lot.

Sorry, sir. I had no idea she was writing the article. It caught us all...

Dobson's dead in the water. I'm putting you on Jack Stone.

Oh.

Thank you so much.

I appreciate the opportunity.

Okay,

great. Thanks. Bye.

And so, while the soil may be fertile in Iowa, for my campaign at least, the

time has come to drink deeply from the nectar of New Hampshire's gooey maple

trees. To all my friends in Iowa, I expect to see you in the general

But now it's on to the Granite State.

Thank you. Thank you.

Do you really think he's got a shot in New Hampshire? Well,

I know he doesn't have a shot in Iowa.

Yeah, I do.

I saw the new MUR union leader poll has them up to 9 % there. Double digits,

here we come.

Wait, you're not going to report that I said that, right?

Everyone gets one.

How about that?

It's already weird.

So, are you getting on that flight to Manchester?

So, there's something I have to tell you.

My boss offered me a job covering the Stone campaign.

Yeah, well, that's great.

I mean, it's like the frontrunner and you deserve it. That's huge for you.

Yeah, but I turned it down.

What?

Yeah, I convinced him that I was too well -sourced with Dobson to give it up

now. Oh, thank God. I was worried it was going to be just me and McGrady for a

second there.

You ever been to New Hampshire?

No, I haven't.

Mr. Booze and Token, Wolf Pro, and Hunter S. Thompson.

You knew Hunter S. Thompson?

Man, would have hated you all. Especially Noah.

Beauty.

The great state of Iowa.

Who was here?

New Hampshire.

New Hampshire.

Hey.

I know this campaign has been so hard on our relationship, especially the last

few days, but I know you can't come to D .C. to be with me, but I can work from

anywhere.

What are you saying?

I guess what I'm saying is I'm in the lobby of your hotel.

When are you going to be back?

Can I call you back?

Yeah, it's fine.