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1
00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:16,059
How is this dump out of breakfast
already?
2
00:00:16,260 --> 00:00:17,620
The sun just came up.
3
00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:21,500
I know. I can't live off weak coffee and
the airplane peanuts I hoarded on the
4
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:22,459
flight out here.
5
00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:23,460
You want some?
6
00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:25,220
Thank you.
7
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:26,500
Wait a second.
8
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,840
Are you guys that Cedar Rapids improv
troupe nobody's talking about? Oh, my
9
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:31,900
I'm being crazy.
10
00:00:32,140 --> 00:00:33,140
You're Dobson Embed.
11
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:34,760
You guys smell something?
12
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:36,940
What? Is that Lovett's cologne?
13
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,420
Yeah, I'm detecting a hint of Jack
Stone's asshole.
14
00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:42,640
My feelings really hurt.
15
00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:48,190
I'm so sorry, guys. I sent my intern to
get all the breakfast food and bring it
16
00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:49,790
upstairs. You have interns?
17
00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:51,089
For being in first.
18
00:00:51,090 --> 00:00:54,470
In a few weeks, Dobson, he'll be out of
the race. You'll be back in D .C.
19
00:00:54,530 --> 00:00:59,010
fetching coffee and, if you're lucky,
filing blog posts about my coverage of
20
00:00:59,010 --> 00:00:59,869
presumptive nominee.
21
00:00:59,870 --> 00:01:02,410
In a few weeks, you'll be at Gold's Gym
working as a towel boy.
22
00:01:02,810 --> 00:01:07,090
I gotta go. I gotta take my rental
Corvette to the next campaign stop,
23
00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,110
Later, losers.
24
00:01:08,670 --> 00:01:09,670
Corvette.
25
00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:13,200
I don't know what Lovett's so happy
about. His phone's going to die in an
26
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:14,399
What are you talking about?
27
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,980
You look like you robbed a genius bar.
28
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:17,360
Even better.
29
00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:19,580
I stole all their chargers.
30
00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:23,940
I love you.
31
00:01:39,340 --> 00:01:40,500
Cream and two sugars?
32
00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:42,000
Just the way I like it.
33
00:01:42,740 --> 00:01:44,720
Hey, can I run the lead on my post by
you?
34
00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:46,020
Yeah, sure.
35
00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:47,820
All right.
36
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:52,460
In an attempt to keep his campaign from
falling into a nosedive, Governor John
37
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:55,680
Dobson will attempt to woo young voters
today at Iowa A &M.
38
00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,520
Nosedive's a little harsh. I'd amend it
to revive his stalled campaign.
39
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,040
And woo?
40
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:03,160
Who woos anymore?
41
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:04,480
I woo.
42
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:05,439
People woo.
43
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:06,318
No, they don't.
44
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:07,500
Wish you were my editor.
45
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,400
If I was your editor, we'd just talk
about friends episodes all day.
46
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,540
Oh, whatever.
47
00:02:14,940 --> 00:02:17,740
We bust our asses to file stories and
you're just writing a diary.
48
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,040
It's not a diary.
49
00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:22,120
Dear diary, I hope today's the day.
50
00:02:22,580 --> 00:02:24,260
The day I finally reach puberty.
51
00:02:24,820 --> 00:02:28,560
I'm writing a book. Oh, is it a coloring
book or a pamphlet?
52
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,680
My take is that Dobson's going to get a
bump in the polls today. He's never
53
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,340
addressed college kids. I think he'll
win them over.
54
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:36,600
Win over college kids?
55
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:40,480
Not until you use the Walkman. Yeah,
he's stuck at 4 % and he's going to stay
56
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:42,060
there. Oh, hey, hey.
57
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:43,520
Are you on Grindr?
58
00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:47,580
Yeah. Oh, that one. Kind of has a Mike
Huckabee thing going for him.
59
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:49,820
That was a good thing.
60
00:02:50,660 --> 00:02:51,660
Yeah.
61
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:06,160
Now you have to ask yourself, why is
Iowa...
62
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,900
Such a special state.
63
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:09,640
I'll tell you why.
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00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,180
It's the fertility of the soil.
65
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:21,120
You know, when I was back in Newport in
short pants and I was in school, I was
66
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:24,360
kind of a geology nut. He's a walking
Xanax.
67
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:29,200
Why doesn't he talk about the Rhode
Island economy, which is, you know,
68
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,840
Probably because if he did, our bosses
would pay even less attention to him
69
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:34,840
they do now.
70
00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:38,540
Always take marble for granite. A little
geology joke there.
71
00:03:38,780 --> 00:03:42,620
How many geology students do we have
here today?
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00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:44,900
What is Sid doing back there?
73
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:50,360
A group of students found photos of
Dobson in the 80s dressed as Geronimo
74
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,040
Halloween. They're saying he
appropriates Native American culture.
75
00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:56,820
How does she manage to pinpoint a sexier
story every time?
76
00:03:57,260 --> 00:04:00,540
So I had this dream last night about
rocks.
77
00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:03,240
Let's cruise around campus and find out
where the party's at tonight.
78
00:04:04,019 --> 00:04:07,460
We can't party tonight. We've got
Dobson's fundraiser at the chop house.
79
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:12,140
Look, for once, we're not in a soybean
field or a pig farm. Hey, we're on a
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00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:15,060
college campus with cheap beer and women
open to experimentation.
81
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,360
I'm not waiting outside of a chop house
for Dobson to walk by and give us a
82
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,360
thumbs up.
83
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:25,200
You know what? It may not be much for me
and Iowa College Party, but it'll be
84
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,560
fun watching Noah out drink the locals.
85
00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:28,860
Ooh.
86
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:32,040
Should we, uh...
87
00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:33,390
Drawing or waking up?
88
00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:38,130
Noah.
89
00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:41,570
Reagan.
90
00:04:48,050 --> 00:04:50,690
Everyone's so friendly here. It's like
the first day of summer camp.
91
00:04:50,950 --> 00:04:51,949
Every day.
92
00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:52,950
So true.
93
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,790
Hey, do you think we would have been
friends if we went to college together?
94
00:04:56,110 --> 00:05:01,050
Woo! It is on, bitches. Party tonight at
Pi Sigma Mu. That's my friend from when
95
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:01,759
I was at Michigan.
96
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,760
Cool story, bro.
97
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:05,840
Fall fling, day drinking, night
drinking.
98
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,680
So what do you say? You losers down to
get jacked up on jungle juice, make
99
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:09,820
horrible decisions? Down.
100
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:14,600
No, uh... Oh, ew. Don't worry, guys. I
am not interested anymore.
101
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:19,720
I'm going to pass with our job to cover
Dobson. Yeah, so cover this Dobson doing
102
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,440
a body shot of a sexy sophomore.
103
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:26,300
Sure. Yeah, I agree. I'm not too... Suit
yourself, Nanny McPhee. Everyone else,
104
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,520
I will see you at 5 o 'clock.
105
00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:29,100
Let's get lit.
106
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:30,240
Peace, bitches.
107
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:30,889
Ha -ha!
108
00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:31,749
Love college.
109
00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,830
You get an A. You don't.
110
00:05:36,630 --> 00:05:39,890
You're wearing a tie to take out a
fundraiser? You look like a student from
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00:05:39,890 --> 00:05:42,950
Hogwarts. No, it looks like you're
taking communion at St. Jude's School
112
00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:43,950
Boys.
113
00:05:44,390 --> 00:05:47,810
Oh, is there anything else? Yeah, you
look like you're going to an ice cream
114
00:05:47,810 --> 00:05:49,690
social at a country club in 1957.
115
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,310
Just looking professional.
116
00:05:53,650 --> 00:05:58,930
You should try some time. Oh, or
maybe... Maybe you're getting dressed up
117
00:05:58,930 --> 00:06:00,210
because you're going on a date.
118
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:01,600
Marissa has a boyfriend.
119
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:02,900
He's 1 ,500 miles away.
120
00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:08,200
And here you are, out in the cornfield
underneath the stars.
121
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,200
No way. Oh, come on.
122
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:14,140
Newsflash to Marissa. You are just a hoe
in a different area code.
123
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:16,940
I don't even know what that means.
124
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:19,600
You're Marissa's whore.
125
00:06:20,740 --> 00:06:24,480
And we're in a different area code than
we typically are in.
126
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,280
Really? Didn't get that?
127
00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:28,020
How do you not get that? Can you guys
help me?
128
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,820
Absolutely not. Take that shit off.
129
00:06:31,729 --> 00:06:32,729
Hang on, Quinn.
130
00:06:34,950 --> 00:06:35,950
Hey. What's up?
131
00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:39,450
Whoa. I'm going to the prep party. Are
you coming?
132
00:06:39,870 --> 00:06:40,970
If you are, don't wear that.
133
00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:44,930
What? No, I'm going to the Dobson
fundraiser. Come on. I thought you
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00:06:44,930 --> 00:06:46,590
hang with us. We're in a college town.
135
00:06:47,670 --> 00:06:48,670
Farm boys?
136
00:06:49,090 --> 00:06:50,410
Wrestlers? How many wrestlers?
137
00:06:50,750 --> 00:06:51,970
What's your name by a wrestler?
138
00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:56,730
That sounds fun, but I have a boyfriend,
and I need to do my job.
139
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,530
Whoa. You never stop.
140
00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:00,310
What does that mean?
141
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,740
No. It's good. I get it.
142
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,440
You walk the straight and narrow.
143
00:07:05,060 --> 00:07:08,100
Well, I'm in Iowa to cover daps and not
go to frat parties.
144
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,220
Totally.
145
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,260
Have fun at your event. I'll miss you.
146
00:07:16,780 --> 00:07:18,120
Stop denying yourself.
147
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:22,780
Give in to the pure physical chemistry.
Unleash the passion. Easy there, E .L.
148
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:26,000
James. Hey, if you don't make a move,
you're going to regret it later, man.
149
00:07:26,430 --> 00:07:29,870
Look, if there was a world where she and
her legendary boyfriend broke up, would
150
00:07:29,870 --> 00:07:30,870
I make a move?
151
00:07:31,690 --> 00:07:33,970
Sure, why not? But that's not reality.
152
00:07:34,310 --> 00:07:35,310
Here's your reality.
153
00:07:35,530 --> 00:07:37,430
You are never getting laid in this
lifetime.
154
00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:39,670
That's, like, really mean.
155
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:54,570
Wow, you, like... Yeah, um...
156
00:07:54,860 --> 00:07:58,600
with you you're wearing that the
adoption i'm raising nope i'm wearing it
157
00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,900
fat party let's go
158
00:08:23,630 --> 00:08:26,310
Uh, if it's just me or is everyone here,
uh, cut.
159
00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:29,830
Oh, yeah, probably take a move with a
jock fray. Yeah, in Michigan, we're all
160
00:08:29,830 --> 00:08:32,429
baseball players, but in Iowa,
everyone's a fray.
161
00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:35,370
You'll be fine, man. I'm on my lead.
162
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,350
Time to teach these trucker Roman shows
how to drink.
163
00:08:38,850 --> 00:08:40,470
Ooh, solo kickstand!
164
00:08:40,970 --> 00:08:41,970
Okay.
165
00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:47,290
Oh.
166
00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:50,330
Oh. So how do you even do a solo
kickstand?
167
00:08:50,810 --> 00:08:51,810
It's all about your core.
168
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:55,720
Oh, shit.
169
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,100
Looking good, girl.
170
00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:01,240
Sorry to break up the nerd conference,
but I'm going to play beer pong. Now, I
171
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:05,020
know neither of you know what that is.
Hey, screw you. I was the Yale all -time
172
00:09:05,020 --> 00:09:05,999
beer pong champion.
173
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,460
That is like saying you're the top
mountain climber in Kansas.
174
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:09,840
Or Iowa.
175
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:16,120
I'm going to own you. Ooh, hello,
Marissa. I like this new shit -talking
176
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,300
think. Go play some motherfucking pong.
177
00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:23,730
I need to see that.
178
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:41,850
They
179
00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:50,750
really
180
00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:54,120
do take beer punks seriously. Yeah, that
and a cappella.
181
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,360
Hey, can we talk?
182
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,200
Oh, um... Yeah, sure, okay.
183
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,540
This is absolutely crazy, right?
184
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,420
Did you ever think we'd be at a frat
party in Iowa? No, not really.
185
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:08,680
Okay, sorry, it's my turn.
186
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:14,520
Is that a full beer in your hand pledge?
187
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:20,140
Oh, I'm not a pledge. I'm actually just
a... Stop talking and chug.
188
00:10:20,740 --> 00:10:21,740
Come on.
189
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:23,060
Let's go. Okay.
190
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,080
There's a lot of beer in there.
191
00:10:24,820 --> 00:10:25,980
Let's go. Let's chug.
192
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:32,060
All right,
193
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,160
you Iowa freckles. Time to get lit.
194
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,360
Everyone grab a beer.
195
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:40,400
Shocking on three.
196
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,460
One, two, three.
197
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,180
So funny. Yeah, this party is super
dope.
198
00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,700
Dominating. Dude, I told you I was good.
199
00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:03,840
So, uh, Quinn.
200
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:06,240
He's kind of cute, right?
201
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,540
Quinn? Yeah, he's cute.
202
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:10,760
All right.
203
00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:14,200
I'll be right back. Keep dominating.
204
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:17,600
Hey, Pledge.
205
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:19,140
Better pace yourself.
206
00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:24,520
So, Marissa thinks you're cute.
207
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,400
She said that?
208
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:31,100
You're messing with me. Come on.
209
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:32,880
Get over there.
210
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,600
No, no, no. I don't play beer pong.
Dude, get the hell over there and play
211
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:37,600
pong.
212
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:42,200
You need a teammate?
213
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:43,920
Yeah, you're up.
214
00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:45,260
Alright.
215
00:11:52,650 --> 00:11:55,210
filing my observations of life on the
campaign trail for a book I'm writing.
216
00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:59,090
Would you, uh, like to hear some of it?
217
00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:03,610
We were somewhere around Cedar Rapids
when the bathtub mom began to take aim.
218
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,890
Her name?
219
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:06,690
Even if I remembered, it'd be
irrelevant.
220
00:12:08,230 --> 00:12:09,350
What the hell, dude?
221
00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:12,730
I'm gonna kick that guy's ass.
222
00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:17,770
Oh, it's, uh, almost tapped.
223
00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:19,350
On me?
224
00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:21,710
Ah, here we go.
225
00:12:22,090 --> 00:12:23,090
Thanks, man.
226
00:12:23,390 --> 00:12:25,870
Well, yes, you're not from here.
227
00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:31,910
Everyone here is a wrestler, and you're
clearly a baseball player.
228
00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:34,710
Okay, what the hell? How'd you get here?
229
00:12:35,070 --> 00:12:36,070
I'm on the team here.
230
00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:38,490
We played Michigan last season. You were
the middle reliever.
231
00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:39,710
Good memory.
232
00:12:41,210 --> 00:12:43,410
This is what the campaign trail's all
about.
233
00:12:43,710 --> 00:12:47,170
Brass displays of bravado, bursts of
violence in defense of one's honor.
234
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,910
What? I'm about to get into a fight.
235
00:12:50,410 --> 00:12:51,650
With that D -bag.
236
00:12:52,030 --> 00:12:53,030
Yeah, you heard me.
237
00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:55,350
Steve Kemp?
238
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:58,190
Dude, conference champ in his wrestling
class.
239
00:12:58,450 --> 00:12:59,329
What class?
240
00:12:59,330 --> 00:13:00,910
Super ultra featherweight?
241
00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:02,310
Dude, you have my back? No.
242
00:13:03,690 --> 00:13:06,770
Okay, Steve, the wrestler, let's do
this.
243
00:13:07,430 --> 00:13:08,430
That's my friend.
244
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,540
Open your mouth, close your eyes.
245
00:13:28,740 --> 00:13:31,360
Vodka fairy has a surprise. What are you
doing?
246
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:34,740
Will you hold my sock? No, Clint. No,
I'm not your assistant.
247
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:39,740
Okay, do it, or I'll call my dad to fire
your ass. Okay, Clint, once again, I
248
00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:40,740
don't know how this works.
249
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,060
Stand up real quick.
250
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:46,860
Yeah, I... You gotta turn around.
251
00:13:50,420 --> 00:13:56,830
Clint, if I'm being completely honest,
if you were to... to keep these pants on
252
00:13:56,830 --> 00:14:01,330
like the button is buttoned and the
zipper's just undone, I would fuck you.
253
00:14:02,490 --> 00:14:06,130
These pants are part of the deal,
though, so find me later if you're
254
00:14:07,030 --> 00:14:08,130
Vodka fairy, yay!
255
00:14:08,410 --> 00:14:09,750
Get on your knees, boys!
256
00:14:11,130 --> 00:14:12,130
Oh, hey, bro.
257
00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:15,030
Bro, I've been looking all over for you.
258
00:14:15,710 --> 00:14:16,730
I'm sorry about earlier.
259
00:14:17,570 --> 00:14:18,650
I should have had more chill.
260
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:21,790
Cool, don't worry about it.
261
00:14:22,590 --> 00:14:23,590
I'm sorry I triggered you.
262
00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:34,930
Let's go again.
263
00:14:35,010 --> 00:14:36,410
You're going down, soybean.
264
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:42,810
Just wear that underneath.
265
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:45,950
You fuck with the wrong motherfucker,
motherfucker.
266
00:15:24,330 --> 00:15:27,510
Okay, I was not anticipating that.
267
00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:30,110
I'm Derek, by the way.
268
00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:33,670
Shit, we haven't done intros.
269
00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:35,130
We haven't done intros.
270
00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:37,410
Okay, I'm TJ.
271
00:15:40,530 --> 00:15:44,110
No, I'm a political embedder for the
John Dobson campaign.
272
00:15:44,370 --> 00:15:45,450
I'm a journalist now.
273
00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:46,750
Dobson the Republican?
274
00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:48,150
Sounds like a nightmare assignment.
275
00:15:49,310 --> 00:15:50,310
Why?
276
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,570
He's a good guy. A gay guy?
277
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:58,520
saying Dobson gets it is like a Michigan
guy saying Ohio State seems cool.
278
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:15,760
Hi.
279
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:19,560
I'm Rachel. I'm a student at Iowa.
280
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,540
I'm looking for my boyfriend Ross.
281
00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:24,170
Cool party, right?
282
00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:29,690
Yeah. I actually think I'm a pledger
now, not by choice, of course.
283
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:31,890
You know that question you asked me
today?
284
00:16:32,410 --> 00:16:33,410
What question?
285
00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:37,310
You asked me if we would be friends in
college.
286
00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:41,530
Oh, right, yeah. I was just thinking out
loud.
287
00:16:41,930 --> 00:16:44,610
Well, the truth is, I think we wouldn't
have been friends.
288
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:46,870
I think we probably would have dated.
289
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,560
Rachel! Why am I explaining to the big
city journalist that he's enabling a
290
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,560
bogus politician?
291
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:05,460
Okay, Dobson may be conservative in some
ways, but he's... I'm just trying to do
292
00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:07,680
my job so voters can decide if he should
be the next president.
293
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,900
Can we just go back to making out?
294
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:12,680
Dude, no.
295
00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:20,180
I just got cock -blocked by Dobson.
296
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:22,500
You want to compare Red to Shitty or
Night?
297
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:28,099
Sure. I almost broke my leg doing a
catch stand. I have been rejected by
298
00:17:28,099 --> 00:17:29,100
girl at this party.
299
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:32,240
Oh, and I got my ass kicked by a jacked
Oompa Loompa.
300
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,460
A year ago, I was the king of NYU.
301
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:39,580
Now I can't hang with these Iowa hicks?
Why are we covering Dobson the way we
302
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:40,580
do?
303
00:17:41,220 --> 00:17:46,020
We set up our camera, we record whatever
he says, and we don't inject any
304
00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:47,020
thought into it.
305
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:51,020
I guarantee you that in the next
election, embeds will be replaced by
306
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,800
Well, then why don't we do something to
make a difference now?
307
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:55,980
Nah, I'm writing my book.
308
00:17:58,480 --> 00:17:59,480
How's that going?
309
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:07,020
Well, my manuscript got karate chopped
out of my hand, so... Not great.
310
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,280
No more jungle juice.
311
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:19,280
It's fun in there.
312
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:21,840
Yeah, I guess.
313
00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:25,300
It's fun out here, too, though. Yeah, I
like it a lot better out here.
314
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:27,520
I like you.
315
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:30,740
I like you, too.
316
00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:34,800
No, no, no, no. Like, I like you.
317
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,440
But I'm not going to make out with you.
318
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,600
Listen.
319
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:42,800
Tune box.
320
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,500
Um, that's your...
321
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:47,800
Oh, shit.
322
00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:51,440
Oh, it's my boss.
323
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:57,540
The Dobson pain incident is everywhere.
Where are you?
324
00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,580
What pain incident?
325
00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:01,420
I have no idea.
326
00:19:03,180 --> 00:19:06,440
Hey, I'm glowing up. What happened to
Dobson? He's probably having an affair
327
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:07,600
with Fertile Iowa Soil.
328
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:08,920
Dude, check Twitter.
329
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,820
Something actually happened to Dawson
and we weren't there to cover it. Must
330
00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:28,160
have been one of those kids protesting
his Geronimo costume.
331
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,720
None of you noticed the account that
video came from?
332
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,580
But Sid shot that? No, Sid is with us.
333
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:34,880
No, she isn't.
334
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,080
She texted me an hour ago and said,
Marissa's super drunk, you could
335
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,080
beat her to strip cut.
336
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,600
She got the story.
337
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,280
She's sick of hearty undies.
338
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:45,640
We got played.
339
00:19:52,110 --> 00:19:54,510
I gotta email my boss right now or I'm
in deep shit tomorrow.
340
00:19:54,730 --> 00:19:55,730
My laptop's dead.
341
00:19:55,810 --> 00:19:56,549
Mine too.
342
00:19:56,550 --> 00:19:59,570
Mine's done 1%. Mine dead.
343
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:02,190
Where's my charger?
344
00:20:03,350 --> 00:20:06,110
Yo, where the fuck is my charger? I
can't find mine.
345
00:20:06,350 --> 00:20:07,350
Yeah, me neither.
26185
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