Original subtitles

I brought you your mail. Huh?

Oh.

Okay. Well, thank you.

Why?

Just thought I'd bring it down.

Why?

Can't a person do something nice for her father?

I see you have the New England Journal of Medicine.

Guess the doctor has to keep up with the latest developments in medicine.

Yes? The world is changing all the time. People have to change with it.

Oh, yes, they do.

My point is, Dad... Right!

Your point!

What is your point?

No.

Women mature a lot faster these days than they used to.

Oh, what?

I know you didn't let Sandra, Denise, and Vanessa date until they were 13. No,

no, that's true.

But I'm 12 and a half. And a half.

And a half.

You didn't make the hole.

And this boy at the school asked me if I wanted to go to the movies with him.

And I think I should be allowed to go.

Technically, it's not even a date.

Six people are going.

Three girls and it happened to be three boys.

We're going as a group.

So this is a group date. No, it's a group out.

Does this mean you all are never going to go indoors anywhere?

It's a group outing to the movies.

Okay. Okay?

Okay. But now, my okay, what does that weigh?

You have to talk to Deputy Dog.

Hey. Hey.

What is this for?

I just finished making an hors d 'oeuvre platter for your guests.

Where's the dip?

Mom said no dip.

Your mother had you make raw celery carrots and there's no dip?

See the crease right here?

That's where the stuff is supposed to go, in here.

You see, all this is is like an edible spoon.

Well, Dad, I'm with you, but that's what Mom said they wanted.

No, no, I'm not against you.

Mom, what is that?

Oh, no. It looks like a hairy frisbee.

This is how Mrs. Temple and I used to wear our hair in high school, remember,

Clare? This is a friend of your mother's, and whenever they get

of them have.

these things that they put on and it gives them a reason to act silly.

Rudy, don't play with this fool. Honey, please.

Thoughtful Finn, who sliced it? The man at the fish store.

Looks like he almost missed it.

What are we having, dear?

We're having steamed fillet of sole.

What are you going to put on the fish?

I'm going to put lemon juice on it. Lemon juice on the fish?

and nothing on these raw vegetables.

I think that you need

You're going to put that on. Come on.

Well, don't wear that near me.

Where can I hide this?

Hide it. Put it up your... Right here.

Hello. Hello, Claire. How are you? I'm fine. And this is my husband, Herb. Oh,

hello, Herb. How are you? This is my husband, Claire. How are you, Herb? Come

in. Let me take a look.

Thank you. All right. Let me have that coat.

Okay. Yeah.

Listen to me.

to dig, girl.

Why should I?

Don't you go in and say that long again.

Oh, I promise.

I promise.

Herb? Cliff?

I've never met you, but I missed you.

I missed you, Cliff.

But I really,

really missed you.

I missed you more.

Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee.

Yeah.

Want a double?

Rudy, I would not be caught dead on a date with my little sister.

But don't think of me as your little sister. Think of me as a girlfriend.

Rudy, I'm in college now.

How is it going to look, me out on a double date with my 12 -year -old

girlfriend? It would look like you're a very caring, giving person. And you're

so mature, you do not feel threatened by going out with a younger couple.

Look, Rudy, if it was another night and I didn't have a date, I'd be more than

happy to chaperone you.

I'm sorry.

One of these days, you're going to ask me for a real big favor.

Yeah, I know, and you're not going to do it.

Wrong! I am going to do it.

And then you're going to spend the rest of your life feeling guilty because

you'll know I'm a thoughtful, wonderful person. And all you are is a big, rotten

meanie.

It's the kind of meal that just leaves you with a feeling you're not bloated.

Huh?

No bloat here.

Nice and light.

Yeah. Like those little peas, you know? Mm -hmm. What was on there? Nothing.

That's why they were so good.

It was something tonight, Herb. Oh, now that's enough, you two.

Listen, the fish was great, really. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Why don't you stop lying?

You two are too much. You need to behave yourself.

He's been like this since the beginning.

Well, the only thing that really makes me behave is the love that I have for

her. And the reason, when people ask me, why is it that you love your wife so

much? I say, because when we first met,

The woman came up to me and asked me out.

See? Stop right there.

Huh?

No, because I never asked you out, Cliff. You asked me out. Oh, dear, dear.

You did.

Stop it. Not in front of company.

You asked me out, and I said yes, and we went to Willow Grove Park.

Yes. Yes. That part is true.

Yes. I took you to Willow Grove Park. Yes. And that's when I won the giant.

had a bear.

You know, you knock these bottles down.

And I went up and I got three balls and only used two of them. And the man gave

me this big six -foot bear.

I gave it to Claire.

Yes, I remember that. Yeah. But it wasn't a six -foot bear. It was a six

duck.

I remember the first time I saw Chris.

It was a nightclub in Paris.

She was sitting by herself, see? Uh -huh. Excuse me, excuse me. I was not

Believe me, she was sitting by herself.

So I... Yeah.

I swooped. Uh -huh.

And got up to dance, and we did the electric slide, you remember?

Yeah.

Uh, excuse me, honey.

Uh -oh. You were not doing the electric slide.

You were doing the stroll.

In fact, every dance he does is the stroll.

Now, I'm going to say something to you, Herb, because you happen to be sitting

in the home of the gentleman who created the stroll.

No.

Woody Wood Johnson lived outside of the projects.

He lived in a one -family home, which had been transformed into a 14

-family home.

Going up the steps, so many people lived there, they had worn the steps, so the

steps were hanging like this. So you had to stay close to the wall.

You had to stay close to the wall. So in order to keep from falling, you had

to...

And some winos in the hallway saw that. Yeah. And they said, stroll on.

I guess you also invented that single 15 -watt red light bulb that we used

to have down in the basement. It made everything look like an emergency exit.

That got me into more trouble, that red bulb, because somehow

girls look better in that red light.

And then when you get them upstairs, it wasn't the same girl.

That's why I married Cliff, because he was the same in or out of the red light.

Oh, really?

Woody had those people crammed in that basement like sardines. Yes, indeed.

Oh, it was so hot and stiff. And Cliff, in the middle of July, trying to look

cool in a tweed suit.

That'd be cool to wear a tweed suit on.

And there you were down in that basement just sweating your little heart out,

pouring all that moisture upon my face, making my bangs go back.

Girl,

I know about those bangs going back. No, you have to pull out that Dixie Peach

and that royal crown.

I remember when they came out with that new product that said your hair will not

revert. Went further back than it had ever been. Honey, it went back to the

biblical days.

Aside from all that, there's love.

Indeed. 27 years.

Huh? God bless you. Yes, there is. Yes, indeed.

What was that song?

Oh, no, no, no. You know what was that song. That song that used to play in the

basement with that red light on. Oh, yes, that red light.

That song.

Yeah. Red.

Slow time.

Is the answer you give.

At the end of the day With

a dream so divine

And your lips.

Well,

good night, you all.

Look at Tommy Aldrin. His hair is in the most perfect pomp I

ever saw. Yeah, well, he's bald now. Get out of here, girl. As the American

Eagle.

Now, here's Noreen Anderson.

Had the cutest figure in the class. I thought I had the cutest figure in our

class. Yeah, well, you keep that memory, girl.

Oops.

Rudy, what is this?

Honey, if you wear that face tomorrow night, you're not going to have very

fun in your date.

The date's off.

Susan and Danielle are sick.

My first date.

I'm going to spend it at home, watching TV, all by myself.

I'm sorry.

Oh, well.

You said that you were a fancier of coffee.

Oh, yeah, I'd love a cup of coffee. No, no, no, no, you don't want a cup of

coffee.

On this side of the pie, you want coffee.

Ice cream.

Yes.

Not yet.

How bad are you that you are not 12?

Very. Although I wouldn't mind doing 16 or 17 again.

No, no, you don't want to do 16 again because that's when you broke up with

Spider Thompson.

No, see, I remember all you ever wanted to do was marry Spider Thompson and have

little spider babies.

I beg your pardon. I think you have me confused with someone else. I doesn't

think so.

If Emory serves me correctly, you came running up to me one day saying, my life

is over.

on this side, this over here, and then we take these cookies and we crush them

all over the top because that is fiber.

Chris, I enjoyed it, too.

And Herb is really lovely.

Yeah, we'll have to do that again.

Oh, tonight.

Tonight, Cliff and I are going on a double date.

Mm -hmm.

With Rudy.

Oh, yeah, it's gonna be fun.

Okay, I'll talk to you later.

Bye.

Hey!

Are you guys ready?

Okay. Mom, make sure Dad behaves.

Please, okay?

How do I look, Mom?

You look great.

Dad, keep here, okay?

Are you coming with

us?

I brought these for you, Rudy.

I

don't

think I'm going to have a problem with this one.