Original subtitles

and you zoom in nice and tight on Mom's face, okay? Got it.

Now we're going to come around here. Come on, you got it?

Come on down until you end up right there.

What are you guys doing?

Oh, we're practicing for a social studies project.

We have to videotape a day on the job with a parent.

Ah, okay. Well, what do you want me to say?

Actually, Dad, we figured that a lawyer would be more interesting than a doctor.

Yep, criminals are more interesting than babies.

The best video will be shown in front of the school assembly. The winner gets a

certificate and a trophy.

Just like winning an Academy Award.

Well, don't let me stand in the way of your winning an Oscar.

Have you spoken to your mother about this?

She said yes.

Okay.

Get out of the way. How about if I sing?

Olivia, come on. No, no, no, no, no, Olivia.

I think Dad wants you in the kitchen.

All right.

And then...

What's the matter?

Rudy and Kenny won't let me be in their video.

Oh, well, join the club. They won't let me in there either.

And I was all prepared to tell jokes and be funny.

I can tell jokes better than you.

I beg your pardon?

Your jokes are for old people. My jokes are for little kids.

Now, if you just sing in another key, get a lower key. Go on back.

I'll show you what I mean.

down these stairs to face another grueling day of defending her clients.

Good morning.

Cut,

cut, cut.

Mom, do you think you could do that differently?

Do what?

We want you to race down the stairs, grab your briefcase, and shoot out the

like your skirt's on fire.

Well, why would I do that?

Because we're trying to make it exciting.

Yeah, like the lawyer shows on TV. Why is it that every time you people have a

video to make, you want me to turn into Batgirl?

You know, Theo wanted me to hang from a chandelier.

Vanessa wanted me to somersault through the kitchen and end up in the firing

pose.

I don't think so, honey.

I'm not Batgirl. I'm not Mrs. Rambo. I am Mrs. Claire Huxtable, attorney at

Okay, shall we go?

Yes.

Well, I guess asking her to roll over the hood of the car is out.

This office is perfect.

Looks very official.

That's right. This is where all the action happens.

My mom is a hot lawyer.

All right, let's meet some criminals.

Yes.

Mr. Parker, Mrs. Huxtable will be with you in a moment. Thank you.

Hi. Hi.

George.

I told you about my daughter, Rudy, and her friend, Kenny. Oh, sure.

Have a seat, please. Go ahead, children.

Mrs. Huxtable's first client of the day, Mr. George Parker.

He may even be a criminal.

Thanks. Thank you. Oh, bye. Have a nice day.

That was it?

Actually, what you just saw was the end of a very complicated case.

You see, our client's patent had been violated.

Now, fortunately, we didn't have to go to court.

But, Mom, don't you want to go to court? No offense, Ms. Huxley, but you'll

never be as big as Perry Mason.

We're not going to let anyone gobble you up.

No.

All right.

Bye.

That was a client trying to avoid a hostile takeover.

Is that like a kidnapping?

In a way, yeah. Roll tape.

Wait a minute. It all takes place on paper.

You see, when someone wants to take over a company, they buy as much stock as

they can so they can control the entire organization.

Do they use guns?

No.

can be exciting without guns i know but they help listen i think i have just the

thing that will be of interest to you too it's called trademark infringement

start your camera and i will explain trademark infringement in the case of

horndecker versus horndecker you have two brothers who own a popcorn company

although paul is chairman of the board Harry refined the recipe

for the popcorn and therefore is entitled to use of the name.

What a world, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Come in.

Excuse me, am I interrupting?

Oh, no, Steve, not at all.

Rudy and her friend Kenny are making a video for one of their class projects,

and I'm the subject.

Rudy, you remember Mr. Parnell, one of our senior partners?

Hello. Hello there. I bet you kids don't realize how funny law can be.

Roll up.

Now, this is about the Martindale stock merger.

I heard one that hands down.

But the best part was the defense counsel's personal appeal to the judge.

And I quote, Your Honor, you restrained us from issuing stock. You've frozen our

assets. You've stripped us bare.

All we have left is our torts.

deals with damages.

All we have left are our torches.

I'm going to file these papers. Would you like to film that?

No, thank you.

Okay.

I'll be right back.

Rudy, we're in trouble.

We can kick that trophy goodbye.

The trophy died with the short tort joke.

And I can't believe it.

Oh, I'm telling you, he plows into me, and then he takes off at 90 miles an

hour. Well, naturally, I took off after him.

You remember my daughter, Rudy. Oh, hi. This is her friend, Kenny. Kenny, could

you in have a seat, please? Thank you.

Anyway.

I follow him for 15 blocks.

I'm chasing him. I finally catch up to him when he crashes into a fire hydrant.

Hi.

Water is spouting everywhere.

I jump out, drag him out of the car.

I'm the one with whiplash and he's suing me for assault.

Oh, that's outrageous.

That's what I think.

I'm not going to stand for this.

And you shouldn't. That's right.

Okay.

I'll see you later.

Bye.

Whoa, congratulations, Mom. That's a great case.

Oh, Rudy, what are you talking about? Joanne is my law clerk, honey, not a

client. I know, but she needs your help. You're gonna defend her, aren't you?

Yeah, that maniac broke her neck and now he's suing her.

Mom, you gotta defend her. It's a lot better than the popcorn guys.

But, Rudy, I don't practice that kind of law. Now, if she wants to go down the

hall to Simmons, I'm sure he'd be more than happy to represent her.

Why don't you give Simmons the popcorn guy's case, and you can take Joanne's

case, and we can recreate the crime.

What crime?

You know, when the maniac bashes her with his car, she chases him and beats

up. Now, wait a minute. We are not going to recreate any crime.

But, Mom, we've been here all morning, and we don't have anything.

Now, what do you mean you don't have anything? You have a lot of interesting

things. What do you have?

Trademark infringement, hostile takeover. You have stock merger.

But, Mom, none of that has any action in it. Well, everything doesn't have to

have action, Rudy.

And I am certainly not going to fake anything to provide a funny sense of

for your video.

Now, would you like to hear about one of my many action -packed tax evasion

cases?

Fine, Mom.

Good.

I'll get my file.

And I'll be right back.

We're dead.

Yep.

Ooh, darling.

Ooh, darling.

Ooh.

Mm,

chocolate.

Well, how'd the taping go?

Really?

How'd the videotaping go?

Did you put it all together?

What's put together?

Somebody is... Angry with you.

I try not to get the children angry with me, boys.

I don't care if Rudy's angry with me.

I don't like it when the children get angry with me.

Oh, they just give you looks.

Makes you kind of frightened.

Makes you feel like you don't want to sleep at night, you know.

An 11 -year -old angry with you. Come in your room.

Hit you with an apple or something.

Well, I guess I'll go in and talk to her.

But I'm not afraid of her.

I just don't want to upset her.

Dad, we're in trouble.

Not we.

I'm not in trouble. Your mother loves me.

And when a fun one came in, with a car chase, a broken neck, and all that good

stuff, she gave it away.

We have to turn this in the day after tomorrow, and we don't have anything.

Well, I'm sorry that you happen to have two boring parents.

Hello?

Yes, Mr. Arroyo, how far apart are they?

Okay, you guys head for the hospital, this is it. Yeah, all right. and I'll

you over there. I'm on my way.

Well, I have to go over to the boring hospital and deliver a boring baby.

Can we come?

Yeah, I'd love to film a baby being born.

No, no, no, no. You can't go there. You cannot. You are not allowed in the

delivery room. Can we come anyway?

Look, if you're thinking about taping something, you shoot the front of the

building and you shoot the waiting room and that's it.

We'll take it.

Okay, but I'm telling you.

All you'll be able to take is outside of the hospital and the waiting room. You

understand me? I'll get the car, meet you around the front.

All right.

Why do you want to go and sit in the boring waiting room? We're not going to

anything. Are you kidding?

Hospitals are full of action.

Once we get inside, we'll sneak to the emergency room, and you know what

there. But none of those are my dad's patients.

Your dad's a doctor. He fixes everything.

We'll just tell him they're his patients.

Think of all the good things we can get.

Old Blue, shock him again.

Doctor, you're losing him.

Doctor, stat!

Where's that IV?

Where's the liver?

We're stat -brained. That's the emergency immediately.

Come on, Rudy, let's get that trophy.

He's gone.

He's gone!

He's gone!

He's back. Wait a minute. Give him his life.

Oh, man!

So we'll be in labor room four.

Okay, thank you.

My father, Dr.

Huxtable, is about to leave.

Let's watch.

So, how far apart are they? Three minutes apart.

Three minutes apart. How do you feel, Julie? Fine, Dr. Huxtable.

I'll be glad when this is over.

All right, honey. Go ahead.

Go ahead.

You too.

In here.

In here.

This... is where the two of you will wait. You will wait right here.

You understand?

You will wait right here.

Got it.

Absolutely.

Are you ready?

Yeah. But the card's right there.

As soon as he finishes, we'll split up and scout the place. Meet back here in

minutes and compare injuries. Get the best stuff.

It's right here. Oh.

Oh, yeah. Now stay put.

We're put.

We're put.

Mr.

Arroyo, how's your wife?

She's due any minute now.

I just have to sign these forms.

Mr. Arroyo, how would you like to videotape the birth of your baby?

I would, but I don't have a camera.

This for me?

Oh, that's so wonderful of you.

Well, maybe you could do us a favor, too.

What? Well, my father has never had a videotape of one of his births. I think

would be a very nice surprise for him.

Oh, you're such thoughtful children. Of course I'd be glad to help. I'll give

you a copy.

beautiful it was.

Well, just give us the tape and we'll make copies and we'll get it to you. Oh,

no, no, no, no, no. It will be my pleasure to make a copy of the tape for

father.

Copy of the tape?

No, no, no. We don't want a copy of the tape. Where did you get that silly idea

from? Yeah, we don't want it.

You told me you wanted it as a surprise for Dr.

Huxtable.

I thought that camera looked familiar.

Oh, oh, oh, I ruined it. a surprise.

Why don't you give me that tape since it's no longer a surprise?

I'll bring you a copy this evening. All right.

What's the matter with you two?

Why is it that you're willing to take credit for something you haven't done?

She's the only one who'd know.

That's not true.

You know.

Well, we tried, Kenny.

And we lost.

Well, I better go home.

Yeah.

Hello.

Here is your father's copy of the video.

It's beautiful.

He's a very fine doctor.

That's what everyone says.

No, you don't understand.

Your father is a very special person.

He just doesn't deliver babies.

His job also is to bring hope into the world.

What a wonderful profession.

Mr. Roy, would you mind saying that one more time?

What?

Just say what you just said.

I'm not sure what you want me to say, but I think Dr.

Huxtable has the best job there is, to bring hope into the world.

baby was shot by Mr. Arroyo because we weren't allowed in the delivery room.

All right.

Very nice of you two.

We're very proud of both of you. Yeah.

And you see, you did it with your minds. You stayed within the rules. And look

at that. You won a trophy.

He should have heard my acceptance speech.

No, you shouldn't have.

Dad, he went on and on.

People started throwing their lunches at him.

Thank all the little people.

Kenny, you are for little people.

Well, Mr. Arroyo did a nice job, too. Yes, and of course, I want to thank you

for all the close -ups of the babies.

No close -ups of me at all, just close -ups of the babies. I mean, what did

do? They just laid there and said, wah, wah, wah.

I'm the one. More close -ups of your father next time you steal pictures.