Original subtitles

and blueberry yogurt pie.

It looks good.

Well, it better we want Cousin Town to feel at home, don't we?

Does she need that spoon to feel at home?

No, you may have it. Thank you.

Ow.

I don't see why we have to do anything special for Pam. She's already getting

the best room in the house.

Really? The deal was supposed to be when Vanessa went away to college, I was

finally going to get my own room.

But before I can blink, Vanessa's out.

care of her. Now, come on. It's up to us to make her feel at home.

I'll do my part, but I hope Pam isn't messing around too much.

Why would she do that?

Well, this is nice.

This is real nice.

Thank you.

Yes. Nice and large.

But not too large. Just the right kind of large, you know?

Larger than our apartment, that's for sure. Not that our apartment's small.

just not this large.

I'm talking too much, huh? Oh, no. You're fine.

I mean, this is just a living room.

You could take our apartment and put it in this living room.

No, I'm lying. No. You could take half this living room and put our apartment

it.

and you put the kitchen up there.

That's it.

Anyway, my mom said to say thank you, so thank you.

And I'm going to try to behave and make her proud.

Oh, I'm not worried about you. I know your mother.

Anyway, you have a big, beautiful house.

Just hope I don't break or scratch nothing.

Listen, big or small, this is your home, and there's a lot of love in it.

And we're very honored and blessed to have you here.

Thank you.

Daughter, Olivia.

Hi, are you going to boss me around?

No. You just made a new friend. Come on, Denise.

Oh, we're in the middle of making dinner.

Hi, I'm Rudy.

You're getting an excellent room.

Rudy, don't you have chores?

Chores are my life.

I'm going to go into the kitchen and get us some juice. Why don't you sit down

and make yourself comfortable and...

When I come back, I'll take you upstairs and show you everything you need to

know. Okay.

Oh, look at this. Let me sit down.

You must be Cousin Pam.

What are you doing sitting over there in no person's land?

Just sitting.

Yeah? be any by his way. You're the first person to sit in that chair and

like you really enjoy it. I bought that chair so long ago, none of the kids want

to sit in it. But now, this is your chair, and I hereby christen this chair

Cousin Pam's Chair.

All right?

Yes, indeed.

Enjoy yourself.

Cousin Pam.

Cousin Cliff.

Well, I just want you to know that you're welcome here.

Okay? Thank you.

Can you scrub floors?

Well, that's what... Isn't that why they sent you here?

No. Well, then you're worth nothing. I don't know why they sent you here.

I heard about you.

What did you hear about me? Come on over here. Everything here is yours. Please,

please, please make yourself at home. All right?

Need anything, just call on me. Mrs. Huxtable.

She's got problems up here.

And I try to just, you know, keep her intact. But

I'm the one you want to come to all the time. I'm the sane one around here.

All right?

You want a shot of scotch?

I was just checking to see what your drinking habits might be.

Fresh apple juice.

All right, good. We can have a toast here to Cousin Pam coming here. Are you

right, dear?

I'm fine. Yeah, you see, sometimes she goes off just a little bit.

Welcome to the family. Welcome to the family, dear.

Thank you.

Hello, Sly.

Yeah.

Yeah, I miss you too.

Okay so far.

Yeah. Yeah, they got cable.

No, no, baby, they pay for it.

Tomorrow.

In the Bronx.

Are we invited this time?

I'm not going to meet you on no subway platform. You come pick me up.

Yeah.

Nine o 'clock.

Just a minute.

I didn't mean to butt in your conversation, but we have a ten o 'clock

this house.

Whoa, slide.

There's a little hitch in the giddy up here.

Curfew's at ten.

Well, I got to check these people out before I break it.

All right,

I'm going to get back.

Okay, bye.

You think if I ask real polite, they let me go?

To a party?

In the Bronx?

On a weekday?

And you don't even know if you're invited?

What are you doing?

Putting my name on my food.

So everybody will know it's mine.

Why?

So nobody will eat it.

I have a half a thousand left over for lunch.

Should I put my name on it?

If you don't want nobody to eat it.

Miss Wilma Rudolph?

Where are you going with the marker and the tape? I'm going to write my name on

my sandwich.

Why? Because I made that sandwich, and I don't want anybody to take it.

Why? Did you put money in it?

and pickle sandwich, and you want to put your name on it?

That's the safest sandwich in this house.

Pam puts her name on her food.

Well, maybe that's because Pam doesn't understand that the food in this house

for everyone.

Ooh, I better tell her that. She has very nice cupcakes.

Uh, uh, uh, just a minute, just a minute. Come, come, come, come back

She got cupcakes?

Is all this a special diet or something?

No, it's just mine.

Well, listen, you can put your name on it if you want to, but I would suggest

after you do that, put it under the counter and then write down the kind of

you like. We go to the store and you can go with us and just buy stuff and bring

it back here. You don't have to put your name on it. It belongs to everyone. You

don't have to save all the stuff unless you want to keep it under.

In case there's a war or something.

But you don't need to do that.

You have the cupcakes here.

Put them under there for a special occasion.

What are you doing here?

I missed you. I wanted to see how they was treating you.

They treat me okay.

Woo -hoo!

This is living large, Smoochie.

I might get into the medical game myself.

Yeah, all right. Don't act crazy. Come outside.

People are always in your business around here.

What'd you come here for?

Look, I got a nice way for us to make it to the party and for you to make it

curfew. So what's the plan?

This man's got a car.

I got a license. Bang!

Let's get busy.

You want me to ask him for his car. That's your plan?

Yeah. I'm a good driver. I use my boss's car to make deliveries all the time.

Then borrow your boss's car.

I did. For you. Remember that time you and Shaniqua Walkers was going to wear

the same dress to the high school dance?

I had to borrow his car then to take you on that emergency shopping trip.

Almost lost my job for that.

It's your turn now.

Yeah, well, you better go to plan B. You got one?

Yeah, I go without you.

God, that was uncalled for.

What do you expect me to say? It sounds like you don't even want to go. You want

to stay in this rich house with these people. I want to go, but I can't. Ah,

can, but you don't want to. You're losing heart.

Yeah, and you don't have one making some big deal out of a party way up in the

Bronx. It's not just some party.

This is the final final.

Hey, I'm not going to miss it.

I'm out of here.

Yeah, all right. So go.

Who cares?

Check it out.

Half the army just got wiped out, and the president still don't believe

an attack from outer space.

When will he ever learn?

Uh -oh, here comes Ninja Blob again.

Whoa, it's big.

Yeah, you'd be big, too, if you just ate Battle Creek, Michigan.

Uh -oh, you better watch out.

Don't try to make friends with it. Just run. Get out of there. Run.

Yeah, yeah, lose the girl. She's just going to slow you down.

That's why she's going to trip and fall.

Mom's going to eat her up just like they always do. Uh -huh.

Hello?

Lucia? Lucia here.

Oh, that's me.

Hello?

Slide who?

Oh, so you want to apologize now.

Well, I don't want to hear it.

No, I don't want to.

Yes, slide.

Me too.

Mm -hmm.

Look, I'll talk to him when I get ready.

Okay?

All right. Okay, bye.

Listen to the girl. Run!

Get away from there!

Where's your dad?

Downstairs in his office.

Come in.

Hi.

Hello, cousin.

Hello.

Come on now, have a sit down.

You have a very nice office here, sir.

Well, yeah.

I feel it's comfortable.

Yeah, I guess hard work is its own reward.

Mm -hmm.

Your family is lucky to have such a good provider.

I bet your patients are lucky, too.

Mm -hmm.

I mean, look at you.

Working late at night, checking out people's insides when they ain't even

How much do you need?

I don't want any money.

Oh, don't lie to me.

No, I just want to tell you how much I appreciate what you're doing for me.

And?

And to say that I've been thinking about what you said about us all being

family.

And?

And to clarify, it's sharing day.

Exactly what does that include? You mentioned the TV.

Right. And the phone.

Right. And the food in the car.

Right. No, not the car.

The car.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Not the car. Now, let me explain.

See, the reason I asked is, see, I've got an important social engagement with

some of my homies. I mean, my friends.

And it's way up in the Bronx. And to get there from here, you've got to take two

trains and a bus. So I figured since Clyde, I mean, Arthur, My friend had the

license and a distinguished driving record.

Is this making you change your mind? I really don't think so.

Let me explain how I feel about lending my car to my

children's friends.

I don't.

Now, is there anything else I can help you with?

No, sir.

No, sir. I see your point, sir.

I mean, I just want you to know I'm not going to be no trouble at all. In fact,

most of the time, you won't even know I'm around.

Like tonight, come one or two in the morning, you don't see me, you don't

where I am. Chill. I know where I am.

Safe and sound.

Riding a D -train.

Trying to get back here.

Well, I don't think you're going to have that problem, honey, because you see,

the curfew in this house is 10 o 'clock on the weekend.

Yes, a 10 o 'clock curfew. You see, sir, this party has been in the works for a

long time. People expect me to be there.

I'm in charge of refreshments.

I'm sure you can make an exception this one time.

Here's a pad and pencil. I want you to take down some rules here. 10 o 'clock

weekday is the curfew.

Midnight on the weekends.

Now, is this still a lovely office?

go with the guy with the money and the job.

He doesn't have a job.

His parents are rich.

That's a job.

That's a good job.

But Edmund loves her.

It don't matter. In the next scene, he falls in love with Priscilla.

That's too, Tyler.

I can't watch any more of this. These people never listen to us.

What did you say?

No thanks.

Okay.

Hey, Smoke.

Surprise. Lance Charmaine, what are you doing here? Well, we felt bad you

couldn't make it tonight, though. We thought we'd come hang with you before

go to the party.

So you're going to let us in?

Okay, for a minute, but you can't stay.

Why? Are your people here? Lance, I told you we should have called first. And I

told you I didn't have a quarter.

No, no, they out visiting.

Lance, what did I tell you about this place?

Come in.

Robin Leach, homegirl done hooked up with the rich and famous.

This is real tasteful. You got a lot of French things in here, is that right?

It's a house.

With a stack of rules, and one of them is, if you don't touch it, it won't

break.

When you talk, don't rule.

Lied. Just because my mother was working didn't mean I didn't have rules.

Well, is it okay if we sit down, Pam? Of course, if you don't want us to, we can

just stand here like we are.

Okay, sit down.

What is this?

It's a candy dish.

Where's the candy?

They don't eat candy in this house.

Then what they need a dish for?

They don't have to have candy. For people with money, a dish can stand on

own.

Legal offer for something to drink or what?

What you want. What you got?

Water.

Y 'all don't have no crayon apple juice?

This definitely look like a house that got some crayon apple juice in it.

Please put that candy dish down.

I mean, this ain't my place. These ain't my thing.

No, they're not.

I'm used to finding things myself, so I know how to act.

Yeah, we know how to act. It's just that these Huxtable people are too intense.

Seem to me like they need a little more brand. More brand!

Lance, you too bad.

So come to the party with a smooch?

Yeah, just stick some pillows under your covers. They'll never even know you was

gone. Oh, come on. Now leave the girl alone. You're going to get her in

And don't you worry, Pam.

If he's so much as looking at Shaniqua Watkins, girl, I promise you, I will

clock him.

You didn't tell me Shaniqua Watkins was going to be there.

Hey, you know I wouldn't make a play for Shaniqua.

I know you won't, because I'll be there.

Let's go.

Oh.

Good evening, Cousin Claire, Cousin Cliff.

These are my friends, Arthur, Lance, and Charmaine. They were just leaving.

Looks like you were leaving with them.

Actually, you know that party I was talking about?

I was just going to pop up there real quick, pay my respects to a few people,

and come right back.

It's 9 o 'clock, so you're going to go out to the Bronx and come back here in

hour?

How are you going to do that?

The D train.

It's an express.

Sure it is.

Okay.

The truth is, I was going to break curfew and take my punishment.

Come here.

Come here.

How do you know what that punishment is?

Did Rudy tell you about that machine in the basement?

Pam,

we don't arbitrarily break rules in this house.

And punishment is a last resort, not a choice.

Excuse me, Mr. Huxtable?

It wasn't Pam's fault. She didn't even want to go.

I talked her into it.

Well, then you must not be too much of a friend.

Yeah, I care for her life.

Well, no, I don't think so, because people you care for, you look after

Dr. Huxtable, it's not all on slide.

I have a mind of my own.

Then you better start using it.

Guess you guys better go.

Okay. But before we go, I'd just like to apologize. We didn't mean to... Yeah,

we didn't mean to get Pam in any trouble. We just get a little impetuous.

No hard feelings?

Look, Pam, you cannot go to the party, but your friends are welcome to stay.

You guys want to stay a little while?

Okay. So maybe we can offer your friends some refreshment?

Well, she already did. She offered us some of your very nice water.

We can do better than that, can't we, pal?

Y 'all hungry?

Well, I could be cajoled into a snack if it's not too much trouble.

Come on, Cliff. I think we got some cranapple juice.

Thank you, Cousin Cliff, for making my friends feel welcome.

Hey, listen.

This is your home. I told you that. Be comfortable.

Yeah. You know, Cousin Cliff, it might be hard remembering all those rules you

got. I might have a lapse every once in a while.

Don't worry about the lapse. I have five children. We've had to unlapse them a

whole lot of times.

Yeah, we got that all cleared up. Yeah.

Tea looks good.

Yeah, but tea is tea is tea. This tea is... It's just... something missing. I

can't put my hand on it, you know what I mean? I think I just can't put my

hand on it. I don't know what it is.

Hey, you see, now I can put my hand on it.