Original subtitles

There isn't any movie I want to see. Hey, how about this one?

Unusual Circumstances. You guys know what that's about? I think that's a

of a French movie.

Hey. Hey, how you doing?

Didn't you and Mom see this movie, Unusual Circumstances? Yeah. What's it

It's about three swinging bachelors, and they live in the same apartment, and

somebody leaves a baby porcupine in front.

They do it, but then a Dalmatian comes along and attacks the

porcupine, and the porcupine gives some porcupines to the Dalmatian, and they

have to take the Dalmatian to this hospital where they meet these three

attractive nurses.

And so they just started to, it was just, I mean, that was about all it was.

That's too deep for us, Dad. Yeah, and it was too deep for your mother and me.

But then again, you know, we laid out $7 a piece, so you just stay with the

movie, you know.

We're not gonna make any movie if Denny doesn't hurry up. He's already 15

minutes late. Again?

It's love.

Denny's in love?

It's worse.

The man's hypnotized. He's dating an acting student.

Jade Marsh.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Isn't that the woman you kissed in the dorm lounge and

Justine caught you? Yeah, that's the one. Guys, I got it.

At the All Night Theater on 44th Street, we got a triple feature of Kung Fu

movies. All right. They're playing Enter the Ninja, Fist of Destruction, and

Master Chin meets Master Fu.

Kung Fu movies?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You're not so good.

Chin Wong.

I thought you were dead.

Watch yourselves, or you'll be in a...

Couldn't help it.

Jade has a lead in this play, and now she needs me for support. Yeah, right,

Jimmy. But, guys, I wish you could have been there.

Jade is playing Madea. This is her greatest role yet. She gets to wear this

short toga. It's powerful.

That's nice.

Yo, I forgot to eat lunch today. You have anything in the fridge?

Yeah, I could use a snack myself.

No problem. Mom and Dad went and bought groceries this morning.

Let's go.

Hey, Dad.

person. Let's go.

Dad, you're not getting charged $2 a piece for food. See what he grabbed us?

You're getting a deal for $2 a piece.

True point, Dr. Huxtable, but I don't have $2. Hey, Lou, you keep giving me

same line. You owe me $492 ,000.

Guys, you have to see this. I found it on the way over here. I was walking on

Atlantic Avenue and I saw something shiny in the grass. Where is it? Here it

and this is an expensive watch. Yeah, I thought it might be. This is a designer

watch. This is a Jacques Pardo.

I saw one of these on Lifestyles, and they're rich and famous.

Boy, I never thought I'd be sitting this close to one. Well, if it's that

valuable, maybe I should take it to the police station. What for?

A policeman didn't lose this. Uh -uh, they can't afford one of these on their

salary.

What am I going to do with it? It's a woman's watch.

Well, Jimmy, if it's a woman's watch, maybe there's a woman you want to give

to.

Theo, you are a genius. Jade would love this.

Let's go to the cafe now. She hangs out there after rehearsal.

What about this food?

Oh, come on, guys. I am too excited to eat. I need you to back me up. You know

how I get around beautiful women. My mouth dries up and phone comes out.

All right, then. We got you.

Lou,

come on. Hey, I'm paying $2 for this. I'm getting food to go.

feeling the phone coming back. Drink more water, man. Loosen up.

It'll all turn out great. Just remember, when you give her the watch, remember

what we told you to say. Yeah, man, practice the line. Work on your chops.

Jade, I would like to present you with this token of my affliction.

No.

No, man.

Affection. What did I say?

Affliction. I'm gonna blow it.

She's gonna laugh in my face.

Maybe Denny should just mail it to her. No, no, no. I can do this. Once I pass

the first sentence, I'll be fine.

Jade, I would like to present you with this watch as a token of my affection.

All right. Good, good.

This watch is as timeless as your... Our love. Our love.

Guys, Jane's here.

Dennis, darling.

Cut.

Oh, hello, Leo, Stu, Pritchett. Theo. Lou. Mitchell.

Fine. Dennis, I am beside myself with anger. What is it, my sweet?

I mean, how could a campus newspaper write such vicious things about me?

I was the star of the play.

Listen to this.

The only problem this reviewer had with the play Mother Courage was the

performance of Jade Marsh.

Her acting reminds me of a ham and cheese sandwich without the cheese and

Me?

I feel so bad, Jade. Lots of people like him.

This is so upsetting. I must have a cappuccino. I'll buy it for you, my

Denny, wait.

This would be the best time for her to get the watch. Her ego is crushed.

If only our man could get the words out of his mouth.

Come on, then. Quit drinking. Give her the watch.

He's got it out.

He's giving it to her now.

And I don't see any phone.

Whoa.

I think she's getting all emotional or something.

And it looks like the real thing.

Touchdown.

And the extra point.

I gotta get me a watch like that.

Come on, Lou. Turn the jazz up a little bit. If you want women to hear this, you

gotta make it loud.

Here, look, some babes at 9 o 'clock are scoping us out. I told you this jazz

stuff would draw them in.

All right, now this looks like we really understand this stuff. All right, all

right.

Hi. What's going down?

Can you turn your music off?

We can't hear ourselves think, jerk.

She wasn't my type anyway.

Right.

Have you seen the lovely ornament that my dear Dennis gave to me?

Whoa. Beautiful.

Yes, I'm never taking it off. It's the most gorgeous gift I've ever received.

And expensive.

I took it to a jewelry store to have it appraised. Trust me, fellas, you will

never love a woman as much as Dennis loves me.

Excuse me.

Yes? Are you, uh, Jade Marsh?

Well, yes.

We were contacted by a Mr. Krause from Zach's jewelry store today.

He said you came in to have a watch appraised.

That's correct.

Is that the watch you're wearing now?

It is.

Are you aware that that watch was reported stolen two days ago?

Preposterous. This was a gift from my boyfriend.

Well, could you take it off so we could check the serial number?

Never.

I cherish it.

I will not take it off for anyone.

Jay, don't you think that you should cooperate with the police here?

I know my rights.

This is an invasion of privacy.

Dennis, darling, these people have the audacity to imply that this watch is

stolen. Please tell them how you bought it for me as a symbol of our love.

Well, it's a symbol of our love.

Fine.

I'd like to see the serial number on that symbol of your love.

Look, if we don't see the serial number, we're going to have to take you in for

possession of stolen property. You can shackle me and throw me in a dungeon

before I will allow this watch to leave my wrist.

Grab it your way.

Let's go.

If truth shall be my companion in the flames,

so be it.

That won't be necessary.

Dennis, our love will carry me through this.

Don't leave town, Mr. Love.

Denny, did you steal that watch? Oh, come on, guys. You know me. I wouldn't

something like that. I found it on Atlantic Avenue, like I said. The thief

have dropped it. Well, then you better get down there and tell the police the

truth. This is all your fault. You guys talked me into giving Jade a stolen

watch. We didn't know that watch was stolen. Me neither.

Well, you better get down there before the... with your girlfriend behind bars.

You're right. I'm going to tell her the truth about that watch. I just hope it

won't spoil our date tonight.

Hey, Rudy.

Shh.

Theo's on the phone with Lou.

Rudy, you know better than to listen in.

I know.

they talking about?

See, Denny found a stolen watch, and Theo and his friends talked him into

it to Jade as a present.

The police came and took Jade away.

Denny found it with the police station right now.

He may even have to go to jail.

But why didn't Denny just tell Jade that he found the watch in the first place?

You know, guys, they're dumb.

If I were Denny, I would come over here and beat Theo up. Yeah, he should beat

him up good.

You really think so?

Hello, Kenny? I have to go now. Bye.

You're talking to Kenny, huh?

Yeah. You weren't listening to my telephone conversation?

No.

We gotta go.

You better leave us alone.

We can have you put in jail too.

Hey, man.

You okay?

I guess not.

You want to talk about it?

The police told me that the watch was stolen from a woman's house Tuesday

I was free and clear because I was watching Jade at a rehearsal.

Well, it sounds like everything worked out. Theo, it was awful.

Jade and I had to stand in front of a sergeant's desk surrounded by drunkards

and prostitutes and one guy who I think was a murderer.

There, in front of all of them, I had to tell Jade that I found the watch on the

street.

How'd she take it?

Oh, she called me a despicable, conniving cretin.

Then she pointed at me, turned to the sergeant and said, have him arrested for

impersonating a man.

It was the most humiliating moment in my entire life.

I feel for you, Din. Yo, you don't know how I feel.

After the watch, I was going to give her a ring.

I'm sorry, man.

Maybe next time.

Yo, you have to help me. I have to get her back.

You know what to do. You're always messing up with women.

Yeah, but I never get him back.

It's your dad here. He's good with advice.

Yeah, but with my dad, you got to be careful.

See, if he's having a good day, he can give you excellent advice, clear and to

the point.

But on his bad days, he can really ramble.

He'll lean back in his chair, let out a breath, roll his eyes.

And then you just have to sit there until he runs out of words.

I'll take my chances. I just want Jade back.

Okay.

Dad?

Hey!

Okay, now, I'll ask him a test question, and we'll see if he's having a good day

or a bad day.

Hey, Dad.

You. I need to ask you a question. Huh?

Go ahead.

One of my professors gave me a C on the paper, and I'm really upset with him.

Yesterday, he invited a whole bunch of people over to his house for a party.

I don't really want to go because I'm still upset.

Should I go?

Go?

No sense burning your bridges unless you have a boat.

Thanks, Dad. All right.

Dr. Huxtable, do you mind if I ask you a question?

Yeah, well, go ahead, then.

Okay, you see, I found this expensive watch on Atlantic Avenue, and I gave it

Jade, but it turned out to be stolen.

We both ended up at the police station, but after I confessed, she dumped me.

How do I get her back?

Oh, yeah, well, see?

Sit down.

1951, 1952.

Easter Sunday.

And I had some, I had a piece of lint on the

side of my head.

And I was going with this girl.

And she already had a boyfriend.

She told me, but she said, do you want to go with me while I'm

going with him? So I said, well, as long as you say you still love me.

She said, yes.

So what her name was.

I told her to meet me in church.

I'm sitting there and she's sitting there.

Right where the lid is.

Through the whole sermon.

Dad? Yes?

What in the world does that have to do with Denny?

Denny doesn't have a piece of lint in his hair.

Lent in my hair and Easter.

During that time, there's another Lent.

Exactly, Dr.

Huxtable. No, wait a minute. Exactly.

I'm glad the four of us are spending the night together.

Yeah, who needs a date on a Saturday night, huh? I must rather be with my

friends.

I only have male friends now.

Yeah, but then that's good.

See, sometimes when I'm out with Justine on Saturday nights, I think of you guys

hanging out together, and I feel like I'm missing something.

What?

You know, talking, laughing, doing the guy stuff, just being a guy.

It's great.

I know exactly what this is.

Four guys sitting there all alone.

Got no dates. Oh, for four.

Well, it happens every now and then, fellas.

No, Dad.

Not what you're thinking.

We decided it would be great just for the four of us to sit here and hang out

around the house.

Really?

That's nice.

Why don't you join us, Dr. Huxtable?

Well, I think I will, fellas, because my wife went out with my sister -in -law

tonight. I guess we're all for five then.

Not really.

Mine will be back.

You ever wonder what your life would be like if you never got married?

You know, it's funny you should ask that question.

I'm talking about 1950... 1952. I was

working for a pharmacist.

I was driving his car to make a delivery. It was a DeSoto, I think. No,

no, no. It was a Packard. The Packard. No disrespect, Theo. I can't take this.

And I'm driving, and this very painting is similar to where I had to go, because

over here was Harrisburg.

And this was Philly, and the bridge, there was a sign here, said Detour.

I mean, I'd rather have some woman tell me to get lost than listen to this.

And the bridge was similar to this. And it looked like it was going to go out.

And it had this packet. Well, that packet could hold the road, man. You sat

on that thing, boom, and dropped it the second. In those days, you had to

synchromesh. You had to press down on that clutch. And I'm driving with this

medicine, trying to get over there.

Now check.

The Cosby Show was taped before studio audio.