Original subtitles

Bye.

You hear that, Cliff?

The birds are chirping.

It's the sound of spring.

Yeah, little fellas flew all the way from Florida.

There they are.

Say, fellas!

You see this, don't you?

Okay, we're going to make the same deal as last year.

Every day, I give you a couple of these.

You stay away from my car, right?

You're a thief and a liar.

I am not. You're just dizzy and stupid.

Hey!

Yes, Dad?

Yes, Dad?

Hold it down!

You know, Cliff, I've about had it with those two.

Every single day they are hiding.

When I think about their childhood, I'm not going to think in terms of years.

I'm going to think about rounds.

Hey! I'm sorry.

See,

nature was not always correct.

It should have been the children to fly south.

As I recall, this is my day to run errands, and you get to stay home with

dueling duo. Come on, come on, come on. I'll see you in about an hour. No, wait.

No, don't leave me. Please.

Don't leave me here with them. Don't leave me here by myself.

Listen, tomorrow, is it possible that you and I could go on a picnic by

ourselves?

Hmm?

Spring has always done this to you.

Hmm. Yeah.

sounding like you're making adjustments on the doors. You seem that you want to

bring them in with you whenever you're closing.

If there are problems that exist in the Hotel Huxtable, your mother and I, your

gracious hosts, really value any suggestions you have.

Dad, we're sorry.

Yeah, Dad, it won't happen again as long as she doesn't start it. Me? You

started it! Listen, I'm having a problem right now because...

I have my ceiling that collapsed.

I want the mess cleaned up. Oh, man.

You get the dustpan, and you get the broom, and I'm going to go up and see

trouble went on in your suite upstairs.

What is broken and what is not?

I know none of this would have happened if you hadn't stolen my Bobby Brown

tape.

the desk the legs are just completely splintered because vanessa threw it look

you guys are going to pay for it out of your allowance now sweep the mess up

please

All right, can you make it quick?

You're doing this on purpose.

I am not.

Rudy, nobody brushes their teeth that slowly.

was doing was trying to put on my makeup and she shoved me did you hit your

sister well yeah but i thought we told you that hitting each other is not

allowed but she is constantly provoking me she does that on purpose and you you

you're a sucker for that every time you keep falling for that an older person

should know better than to let a little young person pull a chick like that if

you know she does

That I'm not too bright?

No, Dad. It was just an observation. You appear to be telling me that you don't

think I'm that bright. No, Dad. You're very bright.

It's just that she gets away with everything.

You seem to have forgotten the fact that when you were little, you used to do

the same thing to Theo. But Theo really would do bad things to me first. Yes,

but you were the person who started... I did it first.

I expect older people to know better.

But, Dad, you're older than all of us.

You should understand what she's doing to me.

Which gets back to your original statement that you don't think I'm too

Dad, may I be excused? What did you come in here for?

To put my makeup on.

Well, then why would you ask to be excused if you haven't put your makeup

yet?

You're the one who's not too bright around here.

What

do

you want?

Well, I know how much you wanted your Bobby Brown tape back, so I've decided

return it.

that wouldn't you but i know what you're up to and i'm not falling for it

falling for what you want me to lose control so i'll hit you and get into

trouble but i'm a better person than that i'm just going to ignore you

want to lead a peaceful life now if you'll excuse me i'm gonna go have some

breakfast don't eat too much elbow face

It isn't necessary, dear.

I've talked to them, and I think we have it all cleared up. They are peaceful

and gentle with each other now.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Mom.

Hello.

Rudy, I'm going to have a glass of orange juice. You want some?

It would be lovely.

I'd better place that table. Thank you.

I don't have a fever.

Well, I must say, it's very nice to see you all behaving so politely to each

other. Thank you.

It's very easy for me because I have better manners than you.

Rudy, it's not good manners to tell someone else that you have better

than they do.

It's true.

In fact, if you had better manners...

Maybe you'd have a boyfriend right now. Would you do that?

Because you're a pig.

Well, you're the slop that pigs eat.

You are the piggy that makes all the other piggies.

Come on, come on, come on. That's it.

Now, I want both of you to go upstairs.

I want you to take your clothes out of the drawers. Put them in the suitcase.

I want you to... Right now. You're not serious.

Is this a serious face?

Let's go. Come on. You're throwing us out of the house? No, of course not. I'm

not throwing you out of the house. You guys are going to move down into the

basement. Mom! No, your mother has nothing to do with it. I am...

Father!

Hit it! I'm serious.

No, hit it. Goodbye.

Cliff.

Yes, dear?

Did I hear you say that you are moving the children down into the basement?

Yes, dear, because I'm tired.

But you're not going to lock them in there. I mean, they can come out to eat

use the bathroom, right? Of course.

It's just that...

Down in the basement, they can stomp around, they can throw things, they

I mean, because everything in the basement is just about on its way out

And so are they, dear.

Yeah, Dad, we've learned a lesson.

This is not a lesson. This is the way it's going to be, my dear.

Now, let's keep moving.

But, Dad, we promised.

Really. We won't fight anymore.

Yeah, Dad.

Look. See?

We're getting along.

I love you!

That's wonderful. I love to see that. And I'm happy that you all love each

other. But this is where you're going to be.

Just enjoy yourselves. And like your mother said, If you get hungry, you go

upstairs anytime you want to. If you want to wash up or anything, go upstairs

anytime you want to. And think about the bright side of it. You have a washer

and a dryer.

Your clothes will always be clean.

Jeff, come on. The joke's over.

Right? This is no joke.

What isn't it like when you took Theo to the army? He never went into the army.

The army would not take Theo.

The basement will take you.

What do we do now?

Rudy, this is all a bluff.

Nobody would do this to their kids. He's standing outside the door waiting, and

he's going to come back in here any minute.

Just wait.

There. It's just like the old saying, when you're giving lemons, you make

lemonade. That doesn't even make sense.

Rudy, you have been moping around here for the last three hours.

You'd probably feel a lot better if you did something with your side of the

room. I'm not staying here long.

How are you getting out?

I've got plans.

Big plans.

Sooner or later, I'm busting out of this tree.

But in the meantime, I think you owe it to me to tidy up your side of the room

so I have to look at that unsightly mess.

I owe it to you?

Yes. Do you want to know what I owe you? This is what I owe you.

That is what I owe you.

I think it's time for you.

I can always get more lipstick.

What are

you doing? Making a wish.

This reminds me of a

movie I once saw.

Women Behind Bars.

I just came down here to see my basement beauty.

How's it going down here?

Fine. That's good to hear, because I was just talking to Mom and Dad, and it

seems like you two will be down here for a long, long time.

Yeah, well, don't bet the farm on that.

Right. I hope both of you can appreciate the poetic justice of the situation.

I mean, after...

All of the trouble both of you have gotten me into through the years, I'd

this sweet revenge.

Well, we like it just fine down here, don't we, Rudy?

Yup. Well, I hope you can still say that tonight when the rats come out.

Rats? Oh, wait a minute. Don't listen to him, Rudy.

Dad just had an exterminator here a month ago. There are no rats.

Well, exterminators can only get rid of living things.

So there's something you guys don't know.

Dad bought this house cheap.

Because it's built over a graveyard.

And at night, the angry ghosts come up through the pipes just looking for

some little girl to take back with them.

Bye, girls.

I'm sure I won't be your last visitor tonight.

I don't believe a word he said.

Me neither. That was a stupid story.

Thank you.

Escargot. Escargot.

Fix it up very nicely down here.

Yeah, we haven't heard any fighting noises in a while.

We figured either the two of you are getting along better or you've killed

other.

You'll be happy to know that the tape has come off your bedroom doors and

free to go back to your rooms now.

As we fill with tape before a studio audience.