Original subtitles

Bobby Joe bails off that Brahma bull. He's up and over the fence.

Great rodeo action here today.

Next up, hailing from Waco, Texas, Buck McPherson.

All right, Buck, you go ahead and ride that bull.

One angry Brahma bull.

Hi, Cliff.

Hey, hon. How you doing? You remember my friend Barbara, the dressmaker?

Hello, Cliff. Hello, my lady.

Oh, look at that.

That's what you want.

downstairs, please. Barbara just finished my dress and I want to try it

Yeah, well, I just want to watch Buck ride the bull, dear. Give me this. By

time I get it on, he'll be out of here.

Oh, why can't I stay up here and see the dress? Because I want to surprise you

when I wear it to the hospital benefit on Saturday night.

Yeah, but honey, I've seen that dress already.

You think you've seen that dress? I've just covered it in smashing gold beads.

Listen to Claire hit the road.

Buck is down.

Goodbye, Cliff.

That was a Jim Dandy of a ride. Let's watch it. one more time in slow motion.

Look, I've always wondered about the fascination American men have with

bulls. Very curious.

You wouldn't understand because you're from England. You all chase after the

foxes.

Why can't I stay and see the dress?

You want to see the dress wearing those clothes?

What's the matter with these clothes?

Your wife is about to walk out of that door in a spectacular outfit.

What you're wearing is perfectly acceptable if you were going to a dance

men's locker room.

Well, I hope the dress isn't as sharp as your wit. It is.

I'm going downstairs to have a spot of tea and kippet herring.

On chitterlings. All right, darling, you can come out now.

Barbara, when you put these gold bees on this dress, did you do anything else to

it? No, why?

I don't know, I just...

I can't get it to zip up.

When I put it on four months ago, it fit just fine, but... What?

The dress is the same size. Perhaps you're not.

Please. There's no way I could have gained that much weight. The zipper

just needs some wax. Come on, help me get it up, please. All right, all right.

Exhale.

Could you exhale a little further?

Oh, darling.

It won't go any further.

How much weight do you think I have to lose to get into this dress?

Well, if you lost three pounds, you could get into it.

If you lost five pounds, you could get into it and walk.

When is this hospital benefit?

Next Saturday.

Oh, darling, you're telling me you can lose five pounds in six days?

Yeah. If I diet and exercise, I can lose five pounds in six days and never know

anything about it.

Why?

supportive about you trying to lose this weight. He's a very sensitive man.

Yeah, that's what you think because you don't know him. See, I've been after him

for 10 years about his weight. I finally get him to the point where he looks

good and then I can't get into this dress. So this is going to stay within

four walls. You got that? Mom, it's the word. Thanks.

Hello. Hi.

Haven't seen you in this class before.

Never came before.

Just started coming. I'm going to get myself in shape.

I think you're going to like this class. We have some very nice teachers.

Good. There's only one you have to watch out for. Emma Newhouse.

She wears this leopard headband.

It's the meanest thing on two feet.

The woman gets pleasure out of making you suffer.

We have a nickname for her.

Captain Bone Crusher.

I'm okay.

I'm so glad you could be here today. Come on, baby. Good

afternoon, all you sagging hunks of flesh.

I can see you've been munching those chocolate bonbons and licking that

ice cream.

And looks like some of y 'all have been going back for seconds.

Remember how you've been saying, I'll enjoy it now and pay later. Let me

introduce myself.

I'm later

a breather. Don't worry.

This is what everybody feels like after a first class with Emma.

You'll be fine.

In about a month.

Anyone

left

in this room automatically has to take my next class.

I knew that would get you. I would love to stay. and take your next class.

Unfortunately, I have an appointment.

An appointment where? At the Dairy Queen?

Excuse me, I pay for the exercise, but not for the abuse.

The abuse is free.

You see, I know your type. You're one of those rich ladies that comes in here to

lose weight just so she can fit into some fancy new dress.

Well, that shows you how much you know. The dress is not new, it's old.

Well, how much weight do you need to lose?

Five pounds.

In six days?

Five pounds in six days.

Honey, those are the miracles you pray for. Get down on your knees now.

Now, you wait a minute.

It is very important to me that I get into this dress, and whatever I have to

do, I am willing to do it.

I might need a little personal help.

So, would you like to be my trainer?

I'm not getting involved with a woman who has no self -control.

I have self -control.

You'd have to exercise four hours a day.

I'll exercise five hours a day.

You'll have to go on a very strict diet.

The stricter, the better.

You'll eat three and a half ounces of protein, one and a half cups of fresh

vegetables, no salt, no sugar, and ten glasses of distilled water.

That's pretty strict.

You got a problem with that? No, because I'm a good dieter. As long as I can

splurge once.

I mean, one night. Come on. I got a weakness for Mexican food. You know

quesadillas, guacamole. You see, guacamole butt, I knew it. No self

Forget about the Mexican food, all right?

Now, whatever the diet and whatever the exercise, you just bring it on because I

am here to work.

And I'm going to look so good when we're finished.

I'm going to make my own video, the Claire Huxtable workout.

And I'm not going to give you a copy. You're going to have to buy your own.

Take that jacket off. My next class is about to start.

Okay.

Okay, so where is everybody?

You're it.

Come on.

Come on. Come on, honey.

Show me something.

you very much yeah dad usually we go out for mexican food oh this is going to be

even better than what we get at el grande restaurant my guacamole and

quesadillas mom's favorite she's gonna love you for this

i had your mother

in mind when i made this

Los Vitos El Grande meal for you I have taken the pork

from the pig that was killed while it was alive

I have diced it so fine put it on the skillet with

the butter 2 -3 pounds of butter you can hear

grease and fold it out right away. Two second jalapeno pepper in the butter

the oink flesh sizzling and cracking.

Oh, my goodness, I said, my wife loves this meal. She said, oh, Cliff, this

restaurant is out of this world. And so I have it for you, my dear. What do you

say?

I am not hungry.

What?

But listen.

I made with my own hands from the same recipe

of the man who gave it to me. This man who made the tortillas, 107 years old,

ground the corn with his own knuckles.

He ground the corn so fine.

I'm not hungry.

You say?

What?

I have made a guacamole sauce for you.

Guacamole. The avocados were handheld on the plane

by Mrs.

Moley herself who put the guacas and said, please,

Dr. Huxtable.

for your beautiful wife.

What say you?

What say you?

What say you?

I'm gonna go to my room and have a carrot.

It's okay, honey. It's just a little leg cramp. It's okay now. Okay.

Go back to sleep.

I don't know what that was. I know.

Hey, what's going on? What are you doing? What's the matter, dear?

Dear. What?

Oh, okay.

Crap. Yes, yes. No, let me straighten it out, honey. I got to straighten it out.

Come on. I got to straighten it out. There you go. Now, that should feel

No, I'm not.

I haven't done anything.

I know you're fine. I haven't done anything.

All right.

Okay. Just go ahead. Just lay here. All right.

Fine. You okay?

I'm fine. Maybe you let me just rub it? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no,

don't touch it. It's fine.

You've never had this before, have you? It's okay. It's all right. I don't

remember you having this.

You all right? I'm fine. Where are you going?

Bathroom. Bathroom? Why?

See? Okay.

You just have to walk under.

Be a little careful.

to see me yeah well what has happened to you how did you get like this this is

my type of ridiculous questions i'm sorry i'm sorry all right now come on

get up no i think i'm gonna sleep right here you just

throw some cover on me i'll be fine all right there we'll do that just throw

some covers over here and we'll this will be fun just like we're camping out

just don't touch me no i won't touch you just like camping out

It's lunchtime.

Food. Oh, I had these beautiful salads I prepared.

Claire, you're doing so beautifully. Baby, by tomorrow, you're going to be

to jog that last mile. And before you know it, that weight's just going to

flying off.

And I have a special treat for the both of us today.

Croutons.

Croutons. Yes, croutons. Some for you and the rest for me.

Bon appetit.

Don't touch that salad.

What's the matter? I have five croutons and you have seven.

Dear, I'm not the one that has to lose three more pounds.

I want my crouton. All right, all right. Look, look, look. I'll take

two out of my salad.

I'll throw them away.

Then we'll both feed and you are not going to throw away my crouton.

Look,

look, look, look, look. Now look what you did.

Now neither one of us gets to eat them.

Want to bet?

Yes, it's 5 o 'clock in the morning, and you're supposed to be at the hospital

delivering twins.

I delivered them already.

Well, go back and get some more.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I came down here to eat

this up. Well, you're wrong. Really? Yeah, I didn't want it to spoil, so I

down here to cook it up.

Shut up.

Now, I had one bite, but that's all.

And how do you know that I wasn't cooking it for you?

Because... Shut up!

have to worry about me. I have self -control. It's you we have to worry

So don't you be down here eating up this food.

Now there, I've cooked it up, I've turned it off, and I've put it back.

And I am going to bed hungry.

And I do hope you're satisfied.

Shut up.

What do you mean you're not going?

I have nothing to wear.

Okay, now listen.

I understand what this is all about. You gained some weight, so don't ask me how

I found out, but I know you can't fit into that dress that Barbara made, okay?

So it's not the end of the world, okay?

What do you know about anything?

I know that you had many dresses in that closet that you can get into, and you

look beautiful in all of them. Now put on the...

Siobhan Strapless thing.

No.

Well, put on that red thing with the back cut all the way back where you said

when you wore it, you were a red hot mama.

No.

Okay, what about the green thing all the way up to the neck with the little bow

in the back?

You see, I don't even have a dress like that. That's your mother's dress.

I'm telling you that I'm tired now you're gonna put on something and I

care else I'm tearing this door down now Are you ordering me to do something?

If you see this door fall down you'll know it Alright, alright, let's not get

vicious Come on, we'll go see Why don't you Look

at you Look carefully dear Notice that I am not wearing artificial supports No

And I can breathe

You're kidding. And I can move.

I hope so. And I can do any dance. You fling at me.

Oh, I love it. I believe we want to kiss. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're

to mess up my makeup. Stop that. I'm not going to mess up. I'm just going to do

it with my lips. No, you're not. I know you better than that. Well, you're going

to need me. You might cramp up tonight. No, no.

Oh, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff.

The Cosby Show is taped for a studio audience.