Original subtitles

Okay.

Honey, you better get the potatoes started. Mom and Dad will be here in a

minute. I'm on it. One order of sauteed potatoes coming up.

Oh, baby, the table setting looks fabulous.

Well, I like to make things extra special when Mom and Dad come over.

Hi. Hey. Come on in.

Oh, looks like we're going to have to eat out tonight.

A little grease fire, nothing ruined. No, you're in for a delicious meal. I

think we ought to get a little air in here, please.

Dad.

Let me give you a hand with that. There's a little trick to that, okay?

Hammer here.

Your phone. Yeah.

Thanks a lot.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

Well, Mom and Dad, look around. You notice anything different?

Um... Oh, your neighbors across the way have new curtains.

Oh, come on, you're not looking close enough.

Okay. Come on, come on.

Ta -da!

This is the baby's room.

The baby's room?

Yes. Behind the screen?

Yeah. You see, this way, the baby has privacy.

And we have privacy.

Well, Alvin, if you've got enough of these Chinese screens, you could turn

into a nine -room apartment.

Well, why doesn't everyone sit down? Okay. I'll help you, sir. Now, Alvin,

you've got to help me because the last time I was here, wherever I sat,

something fell apart.

Yeah, it's not like that anymore. Just pick a seat. Okay. Try this one. Now,

what about the arm on this one? I remember this arm.

But this is...

I took an arm from another chair and I fixed this chair. I'm really into home

repair now. Yes, you did. You took an arm from... Uh, Elvin, why are the wires

hanging out of the wall? Oh, this is another one of my repairs.

See, this used to be like three bare wires sticking out of the wall, but what

did was I put an outlet on top of it. I can plug an air conditioner in here now

if I ever get one.

Yeah, you can put an air conditioner there if you get a window.

landlord be doing that electrical work? Yeah, well, you know, I called Mr.

Reeder about these things five or six times just this week, but, you know,

like wasting your time, so I just figured I'd do it myself.

Well, you gotta keep at him. I mean, lots of landlords try to get out of

repairs. Yeah.

Well, bon appetit.

Okay.

That's veal, Dad. We splurged. How long did you cook it, son?

Uh, six hours?

Well, Alvin, veal only takes about an hour to cook. Mom, I know, but our stove

only goes up to 95 degrees, so... I have to cook it a few extra hours, and then

I zap it in the microwave to seal in the juices.

You cook this for eight hours and then put it in the microwave?

Yeah.

Listen, how about some hot dogs? I can pop them in the microwave. They'll be

done in a minute, yeah. Hot dogs.

Get with the hot dogs. All the way around. Make mine done.

Coming up. Okay. Well, Mom, why don't you have a roll? They're homemade.

Thank you, sweetie.

Yeah.

These are potatoes, aren't they?

All right. Got that right.

Cajun style.

Yeah.

Cajun experimental.

Yeah. Burnt on the outside.

And, uh... Raw on the inside.

Crispy, Dad. Crispy on the inside. Whatever it is, I gotta wash this stuff

Just wash it down with a glass of water.

Hey!

Look out there!

Oh, Dad, that happens when someone takes a shower. on the third floor.

Yeah, I can believe it. I'll send this to the lab in the morning.

Thundra, you're paying rent here and you're having a baby. You need fresh,

water, dear.

Well, Mom, we're going to get bottled water.

It's all right, Mom, Dad.

Come up, Dad. It's all right. These hot dogs, they just, they exploded.

It's not like I don't know how to use this thing. We have these power surges

the time.

Well, we invented something.

Wiener bits.

Albert, call the landlord and ask him to come down here right now. Dad, he's

probably having dinner. I don't really want to bother him. Come here, Albert.

I see a lot of cases of landlord neglect all the time. You've really got to stay

on these people.

Hello, Mr. Reeder?

Yes, it's Elvin Thibodeau.

5B?

Yeah, hi.

Listen, we're having some problem with the water and the pipes and electricity

and some other things, too.

I was wondering, could you, I mean, is it possible if you could maybe come up?

Oh, no, no, that's fine. You know, next week is okay.

Elvin. Tell the man that your mother -in -law is here and that she's an

attorney. Uh, Mr. Reeder? Yeah, my mother -in -law, who's here now, would

you to know that she's an attorney.

Oh, great.

Great, thanks.

Thanks a lot.

Uh,

he's coming right up.

Oh, now, Mom, please, when he comes here, let us handle it. Well, of course.

This is your home.

That's Fritz. He plays tuba in a polka band.

Does he play often?

No, only during the day. And sometimes we move the furniture out of the way and

dance.

Hi, Mr. Reeder. Come in. Easy, Mr. Thibodeau.

Mrs. Thibodeau. Hello.

I'd like you to meet my in -laws. This is my father -in -law, Dr.

Huxtable. How do you do? My mother -in -law, the attorney.

I got here as fast as I could.

Mr. Reeder, we need to discuss something with you.

The brown water, we don't want it anymore.

Oh, but I have explained that to you. The entire building needs a plumbing

overhaul. But if I do that, then I have to raise everyone's rent.

Well, what about the window? Can you fix that?

Okay, okay, that I can do.

Oops, that's my beeper. I gotta go.

Goodbye.

You know, that guy works too hard. Every time he's up here, he gets beat.

He probably had somebody to beat him, Elvin, to give him an excuse to get out

here. Oh, you think so?

Well, I think the man should be reported to housing authorities, and I think the

papers will be ready and on my desk Monday morning, because I don't want my

grandchild growing up in this place, sticking his fingers in light sockets,

drinking brown water from behind that screen.

And I think you need to think about the child being able to sleep through the

night without people showering and the sink attacking the child.

Dad, are you telling me that I won't be able to take care of my own child?

No, that's not what I'm saying. Well, you implied it. Well, you look like

going to knock somebody down.

That's not what I implied.

Can we not do this? My wife is pregnant. I don't think she should get upset.

Well, listen now, I think everybody...

Needs to just settle down here so that we can state very calmly what it is we

want to say. And I want to say, Elvin and Sandra, very calmly, that the two of

you should consider, very seriously consider getting out of this apartment.

Well, look, if it's a problem of money moving to a new... Mom, Dad, as we have

told you many, many times before, we insist on supporting ourselves.

We appreciate your offer, Dad, but no thank you.

Okay, fine, and stay here.

Okay, fine.

We will.

Fine.

Fine.

Oh,

I'm telling you, brown water coming out of the faucet. The microwave that gets

power surges and turns veal into rubber tires.

I looked out the window and there was a pigeon out on the ledge looking at me

going...

when they're in this place. They're in love with it. They say it has character.

You're not going to get those two out of that apartment.

Russell is right. He's because you have a daughter who's just as mule -headed as

you were. I always told you that someday you're going to have a child that

frustrated you just as much as you frustrated me.

I'm just glad I'm around to see it.

I'm not the issue here.

But you are the issue. This girl learned everything she knows about stubbornness

from you.

Mom. No, don't mock me. I remember it clearly.

You were in that school.

Claire was carrying Sandra.

You lived in a one -room apartment over a trucking company.

Eighteen wheelers winning out of there like bees.

The noise was like a thunderstorm.

Dying day, when that one of those trucks rolled in, the whole room began to

bounce up and down.

And I was always saying to you, Heathcliff, let your father and me help

Yeah, but you were too proud.

The original mule head.

Mommy, and Claire loved it.

When did they ever say I loved it?

ever say I loved it. I said I would live in it because I loved you, but the

place was a dump.

And you two should go over and talk to Thunder.

Yes, you should.

You're the ones who talk. Listen to them. Go into that place.

I was over there the first day they moved in. I sat in the chair. The bottom

fell out. I was on the floor.

Then I sat on the couch and a spring popped up and stuck me in the behind.

And then a bus.

set foot in that place again. You know, I've even had nightmares about that

apartment.

So, Denise, how's it been going?

Now, I'm not here to talk about me. I'm here to talk about you guys.

Well, what's up?

Well, I heard you guys had a fight with Mom and Dad last night.

Yeah, we did.

That's why I'm here. Now, you know that I've been behind both of you guys 100 %

when you decided to drop out of law school, med school.

I thought, hey, that's great. These guys are deciding to live their own lives.

When you told me that you wanted to open a wilderness store, I thought, it's a

little flaky, but... Wacky kids, they just might make it work.

But when Mom and Dad told me that you turned down their offer to help you move

into a better apartment, that's when I thought, they're nuts.

Come on, Sandra, Alvin, pack up.

Move.

Wait a minute.

Did Mom and Dad put you up to this?

No. No, they don't even know I'm here. I'm acting alone.

Denise, we happen to like our apartment, even if you don't. I'm not putting down

your apartment.

It's wonderful. It's got character.

It's charming.

But come on.

You can't have, like, children for the rest of your life. It's time for you to

grow up.

Oh, who are you telling to grow up?

You dropped out of school, and then when Mom and Dad wanted you to go back, you

wouldn't even listen to them.

Sandra, that is because in my case, Mom and Dad didn't make any sense, okay?

talking about here. Come on.

You guys are having a baby, a little bambino, another life.

Would you actually consider raising a kid in this place?

Look, Denise, as long as we love this child, it doesn't matter where we raise

it. Please.

As soon as this kid can talk, it's going to say, call me a taxi. I'm out of

here.

I just don't remember a more difficult time with the children. Every time I

around, there's a kid with bad news.

Well, hello everybody!

There's some people you know out in the living room who have

something to say to you.

Please, don't say anything, just follow me.

I know exactly what this is all about. She's told all the children to drop out

of school, then they're going to make an album called Parents Don't Know What

They're Doing, and they're going to turn our bedroom into a recording studio.

Well,

let's get this meeting started here.

Now, something happened last night that involved some bad feelings between

members of this family, so I think it's only appropriate that we kick off this

meeting with some apologies, Sandra, Alvin. We're sorry.

We're very sorry.

Mom?

Dad? Don't you just apologize?

We accept.

I told Ponder and Elvin that I'd be able to get you guys to apologize.

But that's your problem.

All right, we apologize. We are very sorry that we had words last night.

Cliff? What?

I apologize.

Oh, our son just apologized.

He's not as mule -headed as we thought.

It's not over yet, Russell.

Mom and Dad, we came over because we agree that for the baby's sake, we need

new apartment.

All right!

Oh.

Now, we may need to borrow a little money. Not a lot, just a little, so that

can get a larger place and one that's in better shape.

Yeah. We're very happy to hear that. And we'd like to give you the conditions.

under which we will borrow the money.

You're going to tell us the conditions under which you're going to borrow our

money.

Dad, Dad, just hear them out. Okay, well, number one, you have to charge us

interest. Yeah, you better believe that.

Number two, if we don't pay you back within one year, you charge us a 5 %

penalty. I can think even better than that.

And number three, We offer you as collateral all of our furniture.

What else you got?

Just our word.

Well, that's better than the furniture, and you got a deal.

Gentlemen, perhaps you should shake on this. All right, shake.

Consider shook. All right. Now, Elvin, you know, if I were you, I wouldn't have

agreed so soon. I would have insisted on one more turn.

What's that?

At no time during the loan can Cliff hold it over your head that you owe him

money. Yeah.

It's too late. We already shook on it.

Hey, how's everybody doing?

Sandra and Elvin are moving and they agreed to borrow the money from Dad.

Where are you guys moving to? Well, we don't know yet. We're going to start

looking immediately.

Really? Hey, you guys are in luck.

This apartment I saw today would be perfect for you. I thought it was

that you were going to live in a dorm, not an apartment.

Oh, well, I wasn't officially looking at the apartment.

I just couldn't resist the ad in the paper, so I checked it out. Here, it's

circled.

Bachelor Pleasure Den, Young Singles Building.

The other one is circled. Yeah, yeah. Ah, yeah.

One bedroom.

family building reasonable rent. Honey, look. Hey, we should go check it out

before somebody takes it. I'm all for that. All right, let's hit it. Let's get

to this station wagon.

I think I'll stay behind. I don't want to see this apartment until someone

assures me that it won't give me nightmares.

Dad, um, if Sondra and I like this place, we're going to take it. I mean,

there's nothing in the agreement that says you have to approve of it or

anything. Yeah, but we can put it in the agreement.

It's too late. We already took one.

And then Marlowe Myers, famous girl detective, looked the evil scientist in

eye and said, I'm not afraid of you, Dr. Dredd. I have the truth on my side.

Dr. Dredd took a step forward and laughed evilly.

Then Marlowe Myers picked up an ancient Egyptian vase and said, We'll see

who laughs last when you get this between the eyes.

Hey, Grandpa.

Hey, Grandpa.

Where's everybody else?

They are at Sandra and Elvin's packing boxes.

Does that mean they've taken the apartment?

Oh, yeah, they loved it. Everybody flipped out as soon as they walked in.

Dad had to admit I came through.

What's the apartment like?

It's nothing spectacular.

Water's clean.

They get power all the time.

You know what I mean?

Nothing's making noises.

And the pigeon on the windowsill looked at me and said...

That's a gorgeous chicken.

Smells delicious.

Yeah, I think takeout was a good idea.

Well, Elvin, weren't you going to make a salad?

Yeah, I burned it. Sorry.

Elvin, how did you burn a salad?

Well, you see, it was one of those gourmet warm -em -up spinach salads.

Something got out of control. I'm not sure.

Fritz is playing Misty.

That was the song that he was playing when I carried Sandra over the

It brings back such memories.

Well, Elvin, I ran into Fritz today in the hall, and I told him that this was

our last evening in the apartment.

You mean Fritz is playing a farewell song for us?

I'm going to miss this place.

I say let's have a toast. Let's lift our glasses high in honor of Sandra Elvin

and the new apartment.

Yes, and hear, hear. Let us have a toast also to the fact that Sandra and Elvin

are moving to a place with clear water.

Here's to the baby's wonderful grandparent whose generosity has made

possible. Here, here, here. And here's to Fritz. Hmm, what's he got to do with

it?

I wonder who that could be. Must be Fritz.

Mr. Reeder, hi.

Mr. Thibodeau, I have a young couple here who are interested in renting the

apartment. Could I please show it to them?

Does anyone mind if Mr. Reeder shows the apartment?

Very much, sir. Thank you.

Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins, this way, please. Hi. Hi. Sorry for intruding. No, that's

fine. Come in. Thank you. Hi.

Well, here you are.

This is nice.

I know.

We've seen a lot of places, but nothing comes close to this place.

Sounds like you're interested.

Yeah, we'll take it.

Why don't we go down to my office so you can sign the lease?

Okay. All right.

Come on. Sweet pie.

The furniture really goes with the apartment. I mean, it's eclectic funk.

I wonder if they're taking it with them.

Well, it doesn't hurt to ask.

Uh, excuse us.

Uh, we were wondering if maybe you'd consider selling us your furniture.

Well, we were thinking of taking it with us.

No, you weren't.

Make us an offer, son.

Is $200 fair?

$10.

It's amazing. We just graduated from Yale a week ago without a clue where

been living. Your parents must be tickled as they can be. They are.

Nobody could be happier for you than me. Let's go downstairs.

All right. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Take care. Bye -bye now.

Oh, uh, what about that cracked window?

Ah, no problem.

It will be fixed by the end of the week.

That's right. You'll be gone, too.

The Cosby Show is taped before a studio audience.