Original subtitles

Bye.

Hey, listen, I just finished your sandwich for lunch. Would you like a

pickle on the side?

I can't eat all that. I'm just a little person.

Well, why don't you show Dad how much you'd like to take?

Only about that much. Right there? Is that it?

All right, Dad, I'll cut that for you. There you are, my dear.

And I guess I'll just have a small piece of this much left for myself.

possibility that when Rudy and I leave, you're going to inhale that whole thing?

When Dad made me bacon yesterday, he ate so much of it, I only got one slice.

When Dad took me and Peter to the park, he brought each of us an ice cream cone

and then took big bites out of it.

That's Dad.

Dad brought himself a giant banana split.

It wasn't a giant.

Uh -huh, four scoops.

It's a medium.

We were so lucky to be working at a record company. No big deal, Theo. This

of thing happens every day.

Whoa! All right!

Thanks, Dad.

Hey, guess who's going to be at Denise's record company today?

Quincy Jones.

He's famous!

Dad, Quincy Jones is the hottest record producer in the business.

I know who Quincy Jones is.

Is he really coming in today?

People like Quincy Jones come in all the time. Tina Turner came in yesterday.

Dad, Tina Turner. I know who Tina Turner is. I knew Tina Turner when she was

rolling on the river.

What's she really like?

Well, she's really down to earth and I enjoy talking to her. You talk to her?

What'd you talk about?

Well, when I brought her her coffee, she said, this is good, thanks.

He is a beautiful person. Hey, thanks, Dad.

Denise, I don't know how you can keep your cool when you're around all these

superstars.

Well, I gotta get to work. Can I drop you guys off at school?

Do you think you could take us directly to the studio so we can meet Quincy,

too? No, no, you're not going to any studio. You all have lost your mind.

going to drive them to school, and you'll only talk about math and English.

Bye, Mom.

Oh, I can't finish this.

Good. All right.

So I'll just take you to school. Thanks, Dad.

Bye, Mom.

Bye, sweetie.

Chris, what are you doing?

Uh, just gonna put a grapefruit on this.

Grapefruit. Help, dear.

Last time you had grapefruit for breakfast on a Monday morning, it was

you'd been on a food binge all weekend.

Have you seen me eat anything you think I shouldn't have?

No, I also didn't see the sun come up in China this morning, but I know it's

there.

Oh, by the way, when you were in the shower, Dr. Herbert's office called to

remind you of your physical tomorrow afternoon.

Ah, I forgot about that physical. Yes, and you're supposed to fast for at least

12 hours before the physical so that your system is clean and pure for the

test. Yes, I know I'm supposed to fast 12 hours before an exam. You know, I'm a

doctor. Yes, I know.

But the best doctors make the worst patients.

Eat on, doctor.

Lawyers make the worst clients, too.

If you were a client for yourself, you would be the worst. I would have to bail

you out every other time.

And another thing, I want to tell you something right now. The sun is not out

China because it's nighttime in China.

Hey, Dad.

Hey. What are you doing?

Cleansing out my system.

Well, I have something here that your system will enjoy much more than carrots

and celery.

Went down to the office, and I got the other half of the cheesecake we're

this weekend.

Oh, boy, that really looks good.

Want some? It's even better the second day.

No, no, no.

I can't do that.

I got a physical tomorrow.

I got to flush all of the fatty foods out of my system.

Oh, fine.

I'll just polish it off myself.

No, no, no, no, no.

After tomorrow, I can eat anything I want. See, I just don't want the blood

to show anything because, you know, your mother will know what I've been eating.

You're afraid of her, aren't you?

We can discuss that later. Right now, four glasses of water calls.

Go ahead, make it quick. I hear you're having a physical tomorrow.

Yeah. Wait, Daddy!

What?

They're going to stick you with the needle for the blood test, right?

Right. I know you must be scared.

Do you want to know what I do when I get a shot?

What? Just when the doctor says, I'm going to put the needle in. I fill my

up with air, look at the ceiling, and when he sticks me...

What? If you don't pass the physical tomorrow, will we have to put you in a

home?

Not yet.

Cliff?

Hmm? Here is the herbal tea that you asked for.

Oh, thank you. The final stage of flushing my system out. Have I been good

what?

Hi. Hey!

How was the day with Quincy Jones?

I wouldn't know.

Oh. I only saw the back of his head. They rushed him right past me into the

studio and then shut the door.

Then about six hours later, my boss comes out.

And he says, Denise, we're going to lunch with Quincy Jones.

Four seasons.

Please make reservations.

I said, oh, well, that's great. I've never been to the four seasons.

He sort of laughed in my face and said, you're not going anywhere. You're

staying here and answering the phone.

I've been there for three whole weeks, and I'm still doing the same job. I

I am as good at answering phones and making coffee as I am going to get.

I mean, it might not be what you want, but you should keep at it. I mean,

doing well. People will notice. They'll move you to the next level. Not these

people. They only notice if you make a mistake.

And what mistakes have you made?

Okay, hundreds of phone calls come into the office every day. It is impossible

to keep them all straight, right?

Like yesterday.

This producer gets this phone call, and the last four digits were something like

8 -3 -2 -4, and I wrote down 8 -2 -4 -3, right? All the digits were there.

I mean, big deal!

But this man has a conniption.

So finally, I dial all the combinations, and I get the number right. But does

that stop him from yelling at me?

Since I've been there, I've gotten maybe a thousand phone calls.

And I've gotten only 20, 25 of them wrong.

and congratulate me for the $975 that I've gotten, right?

I'm going upstairs to take a hot bath.

Denise Charlene called. She says she's going to be up till 10 .30.

Charlene. Oh, you mean Charlotte?

Yeah, yeah, Charlotte.

Thank you, Mom.

I appreciate it.

See, I'm grateful when someone gives me a message. And when I correct them, I'm

polite. But are these people at work polite or grateful? No. They're too busy

having lunch. Eating what?

They want to keep me down.

They're afraid of me. That's what it is.

When she said that she was not going to go back to college, I said, Denise, I

don't think that this is wise.

She said, Dad, please, please, Daddy.

I know what I'm doing.

Please.

I want to go upstairs.

Really, I do. And I want to just walk up to her and say, I told you so.

No, no, no, no, you don't do that to her. Could I go upstairs, just write on

piece of paper, I told you so, slide it under the bathroom door?

No. Then can I rent an airplane and have a sign on the back of it and pull it

across the window and say, I told you so.

You eat your grapefruit.

Yes, I'm going to finish my grapefruit. And you know what I'm going to do? I'm

going to take the seeds up to the hallway.

I'm going to take every seed, line them up, and spell out, I told you so.

I'm going to go to the pet store tomorrow, and I'm going to buy a parrot.

I'm going to teach it to say, I told you so.

The results from your blood test will be back from the lab any minute now.

Really? Well, you guys don't have to hurry that.

Well, you know how you doctors take care of each other.

Well, I see an old man who's ready to get on the treadmill.

Old man, huh?

When I finish this, I'll take you outside and we'll do a 200 -meter run,

you'll wind up with me doing CPR on you, dear.

Yeah, right, Cliff, right.

Don't you always carry on like this? Oh, ever since we've been interns together.

Well, you need some help getting up on the treadmill, Pop?

Hey, no, wait, don't turn the thing on.

What is the matter with you?

Cliff, you're a doctor. You should know better than to stand on a machine like

that. But I don't have one of these machines. I deal with pregnant women. I

don't put pregnant women on a thing like that.

Mrs. Young, what was Dr.

Huxtable's blood pressure?

140 over 80.

Right on the money, Dick.

Oh, yeah, definitely.

You know how this works. We'll start you off slow and easy, and we'll gradually

increase the speed and level of incline. If you feel any chest pains or any real

heavy fatigue, just give us a signal, all right? All right. All right.

Hit it.

to the next level oh we're

really burning now if

you two have anything else you want to do why don't you go ahead and do it I'll

call you when the machine is burned up

63. 63!

Now,

Cliff,

you know how this works. When you hear the tone, indicate which ear by raising

that hand, all right?

Right, how'd that do? Not too bad. You only missed three tones.

Three what?

Hey,

turn the machine on again.

Why? Look, your hearing is perfectly normal for a man your age. No, no, I

want normal for a man my age, man. Come on, I want to catch those other three.

tell me I can't catch the three. Oh, you got those three plus five that weren't

even there.

So, in all seriousness, what kind of shape am I in? Well, overall, I'd say

you're in pretty good shape, Cliff. Good. But there were a couple things

showed up on your blood test that, quite frankly, concerned me. I know what it

is. My cholesterol level is slightly high.

Right. And because it was high, I had them do a lipid profile.

Now, Cliff, your triglycerides are at 350, your LDL is at 160, and your HDL is

40. Had a little binge.

What kind of binge, Cliff? Over the weekend.

I have a love for hoagie, you know, and I take the hoagie with the cold cuts,

and then I put potato chips in the middle, you know, to hear the crunchy

Philadelphia style. Yes.

Oh, I love it. I love it. Don't worry about it. I mean, one hoagie does not

necessarily constitute a binge.

Four.

Four? Four.

Let me get this straight. You had four hoagies over the weekend?

No, on Saturday.

I had four on Saturday with a large bottle of chocolate

soda with each hoagie.

You had four large bottles of chocolate soda?

Well, five, really.

Then I had another one on Sunday with

a half a cheesecake.

You ate a half a cheesecake?

Yeah, well, see, I have these patients. You have patients, and some of them, you

know, they bake things for you, and this woman baked a cheesecake for me, and

she wasn't one of those.

Thick cheesecakes with the strawberries on top with the crunchy crust.

And you know what else you did?

She made it so that the swirl went around.

What you think is that your cholesterol

and your triglyceride level might have been affected by these four hoagies, the

five chocolate sodas, large ones, and the half a cheesecake.

And then on Friday...

Friday? See, I was at the hospital working, and so I ordered

a poached salmon on Melba toast.

There's nothing wrong with that. The fellow that goes out to get the stuff

us, you know, Pedro?

Pedro. Yeah, so he came back with a fried catfish

on cornbread.

So you sent it back, right?

Cliff? Well, I couldn't, see, because I'm getting ready to go into surgery,

Bradley, and I don't want to get weak and pass out and fall on top of my

patient.

Cliff, you're a doctor. You know better than that. I promise you the next time

you see me, it'll be better. Now, I know about guys like you.

You say you're only going to eat one hoagie, you're only going to have one

you're only going to eat one small piece of cheesecake, but you just can't stop.

You're like that wolf who sneaks into the flock and eats his first sheep.

And the only way to stop him after he gets that first taste is to shoot him.

I have something to ask you.

How did your physical go today?

Well, I mean, what is there to say? The man tucked me, he jabbed me, and he

poked me, and then he said, tell Claire I said hello.

And that's it?

Yeah. Who is it?

Come on, if the need is a bad time to talk.

Yes. No, come on in and talk.

Thank you. Bye.

Mom, Dad, something incredible happened to me today. You produced the record

with Quincy Jones and Tina Turner.

No. This morning I went to my boss and I asked him for a promotion.

And he said, you've only been working for me for three weeks.

And I said, yes, but you're not using me to my full capabilities. You're not

recognizing my true talent.

Yeah. And?

Well, he said, you're fired. Get out of my office.

Is your incredible news?

Well, no, no, I'm not done yet.

So... I went to this restaurant and I was very, very depressed. And I was

by myself.

And I ordered an entire pizza and a milkshake.

And that made me think of Dad.

I said, what would Dad do if he had been fired from that record company and had

no hope for the future, no money?

He'd have gone to medical school.

Exactly. You'd pick yourself up, you'd dust yourself off because you're

huxtable. And so am I.

I'm a huxtable, and that's exactly what I did. I went right to that restaurant

manager, and I said, Hi, my name's Denise, and I will be the best waitress

you've ever had.

So I'm a waitress.

He gave me an apron.

He said, We're short one waiter tonight. You're on.

Mom, Dad, I had those pizzas and those tables so quick. I made $20 in tips

tonight. Now, I know I've been borrowing a lot of money from you guys lately,

and so I...

I want you to have my tip.

Oh, honey, we can't take your $20.

You want to bet?

Okay, I didn't think you were really going to take it.

I'll put this away as some kind of an account for you because I know you'll be

back.

I don't want you to think that I've chosen waitressing as my final career.

It's just something temporary until I find something more permanent in fashion

or music.

Good night.

By the way things are going, I would not be surprised if a record producer or a

great fashion designer walked into my restaurant, sat at my table and said,

young lady, I like the way you deliver those pizzas. Come work for me.

Well,

hope springs eternal.

Yes, as long as you're living with your parents.

You haven't answered my question.

Yes, I love you.

I know, but the question is, how did your physical go?

And before you answer, I think you should know, I called Dr.

Bradley Herbert Jr.'s office today and was told that you're scheduled for

another blood test in three months and that you're on a strict diet.

Uh, things are not good.

How not good are they?

Well, let's put it this way.

I'm not dead.

You need some help.

Claire.

My levels are off, honey.

My HDL.

My LDL.

My CBC.

I'll help your levels.

Will you help me burn my lipids?

They will burn.

Will you help me raise my HDL?

You're on the rise.

After that, will you lower my LDL?

Cliff, move over here, PDQ.

For some TNT.