Original subtitles

Thank you.

do do do do do do do

you stapler.

Why? What do you need it for?

Because I want to staple these pages together. I just wrote a story.

Okay. Do you want me to read it to you?

Sure, precious. I'm always up to a good story.

Okay.

Come on.

Where are we going?

Part of it.

Okay.

Now, you have to pay attention.

Right.

And don't say anything until I'm finished with the story. You won't say a

You can... Hmm?

You can hold that. All right.

I'll hold it.

No, wrong side. Sorry.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Thank you. Mm -hmm. Okay.

It's Hi, Liz, a story by Rudy Huxley. Mm -hmm.

Once upon a time, there was a happy land. It was a very beautiful place with

many beautiful things to look at.

Everybody was...

Hi. Hi.

Go ahead. I'm listening.

You're supposed to be awake. I am. I'm awake. I heard everything you said. What

did I say? You said, well, once upon a time, there was a frog and he kissed a

princess and she turned into an ape. And it was definitely a rat.

I'm not listening.

Read on. Start from the top. Here we go.

Once upon a time. Once upon a time.

There was a happy land. Happy. It was a very beautiful place.

with many beautiful things to look at.

Everybody who lived in this land was happy all day long.

The leader was a wise man named Mr. Mayor.

Oh, what a lovely day!

But then it's always a lovely day in this happy land.

There was also a farm. It belonged to Mr.

and Mrs. Farmer. They grew a special food that everyone loved to eat. It was

called Blueberry.

My, what a great flubaroo harvest we've had. Yes, there are flubaroos as far as

the eye can see.

Honey, we've been working very hard all day. I think we deserve a flubaroo

break. You're right.

Mmm, delicious.

There was also a man who told people all the news, and the news is always happy.

Now listen, all you people to what's going down.

Things could not be much better in this good news town.

So come on, party people, and check it out to find out what the good news is

about. It's all about, folks. It's all about.

Everyone in the land liked to sing songs, and the song needle was a

maiden.

I forgot.

There was a sweet and pretty flower girl. She liked to grow flowers and give

them to everyone.

Every day there was a parade, and the parade was led by the town band leader.

It was a small parade, but everyone liked it just the same.

In this land, there were lots of toys for everyone.

And each day, Mr. Mayor handed them out so all the people could play.

And school was never inside. It was always outside.

There was no homework, and between lessons, everybody sang.

All right, all right, everyone. Today we're going to sing the official song of

our land.

And five, six, five, six, seven, eight.

It's a beautiful day.

Everyone in this place has a smile on his face.

We love living here. Yes, we love living here.

And we're sorry you're there. Oh, so sorry you're there. Because if you were

with us, we know you'd be happy too.

People in this clan liked each other very much.

But there were other people in a different land, not far away, who didn't

them. They didn't like much of anything.

Announce me, or you're fired.

Hear ye!

Hear ye!

Announcing his royal king is the most feared man in the land, and a man you

don't want to mess with.

That's dead.

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Announcing another rotten person, the Duke of Doom.

You can't!

And what mean things have you planned for us today?

I want to boss some more people around. Let's go to war. Yeah, war.

Now you're talking.

And what people should we war against, your meanness?

I can't know everything.

Bring in the wizard.

Wizard, coming for us. Coming for us, wizard.

Here comes the wizard.

Greetings, your majesty.

So tell me, what would you have me conjure for you today?

I want to go to war.

And I want you to find somebody to fight. Well, let me look in my crystal

Don't tell me less. Don't tell me more. Just tell me who we should fight in war.

Wait a second.

It's kind of fuzzy in here.

This ball must have been on the radiator too long. I can't see anything.

where everyone is happy.

I hate happy people. They think they're hot stuff.

Well, happy people are not too bad. Some of my best friends are happy people.

Well,

happy people stink, actually. I think we should waste them.

Tell me more, wizard.

Their land is across the ocean and past the desert. They have toys for everyone

and they like to sing.

They sound like wimps. That does it.

I hereby declare war.

War it is, your highness, and your most horrendous attackiveness.

First, let's sing our song.

We're done.

Let's make him welcome.

I'll give him a flower.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Hello?

Who goes there?

I am the dupe of dupe, and don't you forget it.

Would you like a flubaroo?

No.

Well, how nice to see you. Why have you come?

Because you're a big...

will be attacking at noon tomorrow, signed the King of Nasty.

Well, isn't that nice? They want to have war with us.

What is war?

I don't know.

Mr. Mayor, you're the wisest of us all. Do you know what a war is?

Well, I know what a door is and what a store is, but I can't say I know what a

war is.

Oh, well, that's all right. We'll just look it up in the dictionary.

conflict between two parties.

Open arm parties?

All right, party down. Open arms.

How do you do that? You do it like this.

You open your arms and you pop. Hey.

That looks like lots of fun.

Well, let's all do it. Yeah.

magic to protect us in battle no problem your majesty oh before we fight

on this battlefield protect us all with an invisible seal kazam it is done

i don't see anything that's because it's invisible but trust me we are totally

protected nothing can touch us

seen a war like this one, your highness.

What should we do?

Draw your swords.

What do you do with those?

We chop you into little bits and pieces.

I'm out of here.

Chop us into little bits and pieces? These are advanced weapons that you

don't know about.

I don't think we want to fight with you if you're going to use those.

Then in the name of his horrendousness, we declare this.

Everything was lousy.

After the war ended, things got bad right away.

Okay, listen up. There's gonna be some change around here, and I'm your new

king. Your Majesty, why don't you let me change them all into frogs?

You can't even change a dollar.

Majesty, should I read them the new rules?

up and say, you are a fabulous guy.

Rule number four, there will be no parties in town unless we have them.

Rule number five, none of you are invited to our party.

Now I was with you up until that one.

of this land, I must protest the treatment of my people.

Rule number eight.

Anyone who protests is going to get it.

Majesty, why don't you let me imprison him in my crystal ball?

Excellent. Very nasty idea.

Oh, this mayor who has such gall.

It is time for him to fall now in front of one and all.

Inside this wall, I will not give up until you are driven from our land.

You have a long way.

Freedom, the last rule.

Rule number nine.

You will only sing our songs.

You cannot sing songs of your own anymore.

But we're a singing people.

We must sing our songs.

But perhaps you and I could sing a few duets. I could arrange that if you get

idea. It's been silent. I beg your pardon for your interruptedness.

And so...

some more broccoli.

I wish we could eat one of our flubaroos.

Well, honey, there is something I've been hiding for us.

A flubaroo!

Oh, that's wonderful!

Tonight we'll have flubaroo soup and flubaroo stew and flubaroo casserole!

and for dessert, flubaroo soup!

All the toys I own.

Sir, thank you for such a lovely gift.

Gift? You're making me give them to you, and I think it stinks.

Hey, hey, hey!

You watch your mouth, buddy!

Now, let me ask you a question, all right? You took all our toys. Now, what

everybody in town supposed to play with? Oh, you want to play with something,

right? Yeah.

Play with those rocks.

disgusting. You forgot something.

What? Rule number three. Oh yeah, I forgot.

You're a fabulous guy.

Thank you. You're a fabulous guy.

I'm going for a walk.

All right.

What are you doing?

Picking flowers.

You're not allowed to pick flowers.

picking flowers now there is rule number 12 no picking flowers

hey aren't you forgetting something what rule number

three you're supposed to tell me i'm a fabulous guy

It's a very beautiful dress you have on. Your notes are looking mighty sharp.

I wish that I could say good morning back to you, but I don't speak to people

who conquer us and make up terrible rules.

Oh, I don't make up the rules. These are the king's rules. If I didn't follow

them, I'd lose my job.

But you don't have to follow them. Well, if I don't, he'll fire me, and who's

going to pay for my condo?

So you mean that you're in this just for the money?

Well, no, of course there are other benefits. I have a wonderful health and

dental plan.

And then there's two weeks out of the year that I get to go on vacation and

cruise and pillage.

You played your cards right.

You could come along and pillage with me.

I'd rather sit on a cactus plant.

We could do that, too, if you'd like.

Because the people had to live by the new rules.

They really didn't like it.

But the people who took over the land liked it a lot.

They had a party every day.

How do you like that? We do all the work around here and all they do is party.

Yeah, it's not fair.

Well, you know, it looks like a stupid party anyway. I wouldn't go in there if

you paid me.

Whoa, check her out.

Don't even look at her. She's one of them.

Hey, I think she likes me.

Don't pay any attention to her.

Catch you later.

Wait a minute. You can't dance with them. They're the enemy.

With enemies like that, who needs friends?

I can remember when that rainbow had a lot of colors.

It'll have colors for you soon.

I don't think so.

I don't think we'll ever get to sing our songs again.

We will.

No, we won't. We'll probably have to eat broccoli for the rest of our lives.

Oh, what a tragedy. This is awful. I can't imagine a worse thing happening.

is it? The town crier has gone over to the enemy.

He's there now, dancing.

This is the end.

But there's no hope for us now. We can't fight them. Their weapons are too much

for us. I guess I'll be in this world forever. We'll just have to get used to

the way things are.

The flower girl hated to see how sad everybody was.

She wanted things to be the way they used to be.

So she decided to do something about it.

What? I said stop!

And? And what?

And what happened next?

That's it, the end.

No, no, honey, what happened after the flower girl said stop?

Everyone stopped.

They stopped what? They stopped dancing?

No, stopped everything.

Stopped the rules and stopped being mean.

Well, what about the Duke of Doom?

Stop. And what happened to the evil king?

Stopped. And the henchman?

Stopped. And the wizard stopped, too.

But, Rudy, I don't understand. Why did everyone stop?

Because the flower girl told them to.

Now, that is a very interesting story you've written. And I love what the

girl does in the end.

I'm going to do that, too, when I become president.

You're going to become president?

Yes, president of the world.

I'm going to get on the bullhorn.

And then I'm going to tell all the bad people to stop it. Really? And then I'm

going to tell them to throw all their bombs and guns in the ocean so there'll

no more fighting.

Stop it.

Eight separatist rebels and one soldier were killed during a one -hour gun

battle outside the embassy at noon today.

Security at the embassy has been increased in response to... The

strafing a village when it was shot down by a heat -seeking missile.

Tape of the crash was taken by our field correspondent.

Hey, Rudy, you better hurry up and become president of the world, because

need you right now.

Please. In other news, the world's first 150 -megaton nuclear warhead. was

tested successfully at an underground site yesterday.

The bomb is said to have the capability to destroy a 2 ,000 square mile area.

Take me for a studio audience.