Original subtitles

Oye, por ahí viene Bill Cosby. Óyete.

I'm here.

What? Some things I've been waiting for.

Did I get an email?

Rudy, you always ask me that, and what do I always tell you?

No. Well?

Well, did I get an email?

No, but look what I got.

Bag -o -gags.

What? Bag -o -gags.

You see, there was an ad in a magazine, and they showed all these tricks and

jokes you can pull on your friends.

They have some really funny stuff in here.

Look at this one. What is it?

It's an ice cube with a fly in it. You see, you put this in somebody's drink,

and they think there's a real fly in there.

That's not... funny yes it is rudy you're just too young to understand look

i'm sorry i said that really it's a joy buzzer that

wasn't funny either rudy are you kidding this was hilarious the ad in the

magazine was right i'm gonna have hours and hours of fun with this ah beautiful

rudy do you know what this is a pack of gum a pack of gum that's what you're

supposed to think this is actually trick gum When you chew it, it tastes like

dirt.

Theo!

Down here!

Come on, we're gonna get Vanessa to chew this gum.

Now that's funny.

I can feel like you're chewing.

Theo, I'm having trouble with an algebra problem. Could you help me? Sure.

This gum is good, isn't it? Delicious.

You want some, Vanessa?

What kind is it? Well, it's a spearmint peppermint type thing, and it's

sugarless. Okay, I'll have some.

Isn't it the best tasting gum you've ever tasted?

Absolutely.

No!

It's like dirt!

What is wrong with you people? This is so immature.

Wait, Vanessa, you should figure it out.

It tastes like dirt!

Wait, where's Mom?

I think she's in the kitchen.

You're not going to give her that gum, are you? No, I got something better.

Hi, Mom.

Hi. Hi. You know, we were just in there talking about how great a mom you are.

Really? Yeah, and we really appreciate you taking us to the movies last night.

You're welcome.

You know, you're doing an excellent job as a mother, and we look forward to many

more years as your children.

Well, thank you. That was tremendous.

Yeah, I got to admit, you got me good with that one. Yeah, I got it from the

guy. I've been away for it. You know what? We should get your dad.

Yeah! Let's do it!

Honey, could you come downstairs?

Right down, bud.

Theo, give him the gum that tastes like dirt.

Yeah. You have gum that tastes like dirt? Yeah, it's awful.

It's perfect.

You know what to do.

Yeah. Oh, I was just wondering if we should have fish for dinner.

That's fine with me, dear. Okay. This gum is good, isn't it? It's delicious.

Daddy, you want one of them?

Okay, thank you. I don't want a whole stick. I'll just take a half a stick.

Well, I already have some.

Me too.

Oh, I had some earlier. It was very good.

Claire?

Oh, thank you. I'd love half. Uh -huh.

Aren't you going to chew it, dear?

Oh, I'm saving it for later.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

Let's have the story on the go. What is it? Does it turn your teeth green?

Does it explode in your mouth? Or is it all hot peppers inside?

What is it?

people I've ever seen in my life.

Think you'll pull something on me?

You'll never pull nothing on me because I'm smart. That's why.

No, Daddy, you're right. You better believe it. And we never so tried this

the first place. That is correct.

No hard feelings, right? No, of course no hard feelings. All right, put her

there. All right.

You want to know something?

Really sad. Do you know, I had these things 39 years ago, man. You can't fool

with this stuff.

But how'd you know he had it? Because I know all and I see all. You all can't

fool me.

Oh, will you look at this there in your bum.

I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you.

I'm so good, I don't even know what to do with myself.

Are you ready?

Ready.

Mom?

Dad? Sondra?

Alvin, what are you doing here?

Oh, we thought we'd just come home for a visit.

Well, I'm so glad you did.

Is Dad here? No, he's at the hospital. He had to make rounds. Well, we'd better

wait then.

Wait for what?

Well, we were going to tell you something, but we'd rather wait until

both together.

Well, why? Is it so bad that you want to wait, or is it so good that you want to

wait? It's so good.

Oh, okay. Well, so why don't you just take your things upstairs?

And I'm going to go in here and make her some tea.

And I can't wait until you're going to have to tell me what it is now.

But Dad isn't here. I don't care. I want to know now.

We're engaged.

I'm so happy, too.

Oh,

Alvin. Where's the ring?

It's still in the box, actually.

I wasn't going to wear it until we told both of our parents.

Oh, have you told your parents? Yes, we were just at my house. My mother cried.

Oh, I'm going to call your mother now.

Elvin just got engaged.

So?

Theo, aren't you excited? They're getting married.

Well, it's about time.

Theo!

I'm just kidding, Sergeant.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Elvin, congratulations.

Uh, hmm.

I had to check. Rudy got me.

Real good.

Listen, Francine, we'll get together very soon. We have a lot to talk about.

Yeah. Okay, I'll see you. Bye -bye. I can't wait till Dad gets home so that we

can tell him.

Dad doesn't know?

No.

What?

We finally know something that Dad doesn't.

Yeah. Now, wait a minute.

We can't keep this information from your father.

Well, Mama, I'm not saying keep it from him. For once, we know something he

doesn't. Now, there's got to be a way to use this to get even with him. What are

you guys talking about? This morning, Dad said we could never fool him, no

matter how hard we tried.

Yeah, and he calls us a bunch of sorry people.

You want to use our engagement to try to trick Dr.

Huxtable? Yeah.

I think it's a great idea.

Wait a minute now. This is a good time for our family.

It's precious. We should cherish it. We can't use this to play a trick on your

father.

Although we really could get it real good this time.

Let's do it.

Do you have one down in your office?

Yeah. Would you mind getting it for me?

If I can have a kiss.

You can have it.

Thank you.

Elvin.

Elvin. Quick.

He's on his way down to his office. I'll go my way. Now, you know what to say

and do. Absolutely. Elvin, make sure that he comes to me to talk about it. I

will. And Elvin.

Yes? The best way to get him to do what you want is to compliment his wisdom.

He's a sucker for that.

Mr. Huxtable. Alvin. Glad I found you. I need to speak to you alone.

What's on your mind?

This.

It's a ring.

An engagement ring.

Well, Alvin, I'm already married.

Not for you, sir. It's for Thundra. Really?

My...

Yes, sir.

I want to propose to her tonight.

What do you think?

I think that Sandra is a wonderful woman, and I think that you're a

good man, and you have my blessings.

Thank you.

Dad.

Now, about Mrs. Huxtable.

What about Mrs. Huxtable?

Well, in the past, I've said some pretty stupid things to her about men being

superior to women.

Yes, yes, you have.

Yes, they've made her very angry.

Well, I mean, that was a long time ago, and you've changed considerably, and I

think Mrs.

Huxtable will let bygones be bygones.

Maybe, sir, but I'm still afraid to ask her. You see, if I say something stupid

now, it could really mess things up for Sandra and me.

That's why I came to see you first.

You have to go to Mrs. Huxtable and get her blessing for me. If anyone knows the

right thing to say to her, it's you.

You know everyone in this family so well.

Sometimes you amaze me.

I do?

Yes. You possess a tremendous amount of wisdom.

Alvin, you made the right move when you came to me.

You see, I know how to handle Mrs. Huxtable. There's a special little thing

do. I take her feet and I massage them. So I think you ought to just let me

handle it. I'll see if I can pave the road for you and Sandra.

Are you sure you can do it?

Mom?

Yes? I haven't figured out anything.

Well, it would mean a lot to me if I could get married in the dress that you

wore on your wedding day.

You want to wear my dress?

Yes.

Oh, baby, my baby, yes!

You want my dress?

Hi. How'd it go with Dad?

I was great. He fell for everything.

So did you tell him that you were worried about getting my permission?

Yes, but he told me not to worry because he could handle you.

Really?

Where is the man?

He's downstairs planning his strategy. He'll be up in a minute. I'll be

Mrs. Huxtable? Yes?

I'm new to this family. Do you think it's all right that I'm tricking your

husband? Oh, Elvin, it's all right.

And it's fun.

Darling? Yes?

Bought the stapler.

Well, thank you.

Yes.

Um, is there room on the sofa for me?

Oh, I'll make room for you.

Thank you.

Now, what are you doing all the way over there?

You know what. Put him up here.

And to what do I owe this lovely pampering?

Oh, just credit it to the fact that you are beautiful.

Keep talking.

You know, I was thinking about Alvin. Yeah, what were you thinking about him?

Well, I was just supposing... Ah.

What would happen if he asked Sandra to marry him?

Never. Never?

Never. I say never would I allow such a thing to happen.

Yeah, but Claire... No, not while I'm living, not even when I'm dead. Yeah,

fine.

No, it's... No, no, no. I have spent my entire life waiting for Sondra to dump

that boy. Yeah, but you haven't spent your entire life with Alvin. Come on.

Well, it feels like it. The boy's attitudes towards women are downright

primitive. He thinks that the man is the king.

The woman is supposed to sit there and just fulfill his every wish and command.

No. No, but the boy's changed considerably since those times. And look

you did, how you changed me. I do not want Sondra to go through what I went

through with you.

But I wasn't... All I'm just saying is I just said suppose.

Cliff, you can suppose all you like, okay?

But if that boy ever asks my daughter to marry him, it will be the last words he

utters.

Hey, Dad.

Did you talk to Mrs. Huxtable? Yeah, I think you better elope.

Why? What's the matter?

You just have to give Mrs. Huxtable more time, that's all. How much?

Well, more time than you have, I wouldn't know.

I don't understand, Dr. Huxtable.

You said you could handle it. You said you knew her better than she knew

herself. Yeah, well, I do, except when your name comes up.

Then I don't know my wife at all. I'm sorry.

Dr. Huxtable, I hate to say this, but you really let me down.

Yes, yes, yes.

But there's got to be something we can do.

I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to stand up to Mrs. Huxtable. Well, I

don't think you want to do that.

Tonight at dinner, I'm going to ask Sandra to marry me whether Mrs. Huxtable

likes it or not. Yeah, well, okay. Come here.

Sit down, Sandra. Sit down. Sit down here. Now, I think there's something

we could do. We got one last shot before dinner.

I'll do anything. Okay. How do you really feel about women? I gotta have

truth. I feel that women are equal to men. Do you believe a woman could be

Could be president of a corporation.

Could be president of the United States. Of course. You believe that? Yes. You

wouldn't have a problem with it? No, she could be an astronaut by herself.

I don't understand.

You know, fly to the moon in a spaceship by herself. By herself.

Yes, yes. Come on now, we're going to go in here and we'll tell Mrs.

Huxtable. Dear, I want you to hear something.

You should have heard the things that this young man was saying in the living

room. Go ahead, tell Mr. Huxtable what you were saying. Well, I was just saying

to Dr. Huxtable that I firmly believe in the equality between men and women.

There you go.

Really? Yes.

And what else?

Well, it is also my sincere opinion that a woman can do anything. There you go.

On her own. What else?

A woman can fly to the moon without the help of any man. There you go.

Well, Elvin, thank you very much for sharing this attitude with me. That

attitude came from the bottom of my heart.

I'll see you at dinner.

All right, Elvin.

Now, wasn't that wonderful?

And sincere.

Sincere.

I am amazed.

Yes, good.

I am amazed at how that boy could stand in my kitchen in front of my face and

lie to me like that.

He was nothing but a dickface.

And you are with him.

I'm with him. Let the record show that if the boy so much as opens his mouth at

dinner tonight, I will throw him so far from this house, he'll forget the

address.

No,

Denise, we haven't set a date yet. But you'll be the first to know because I

want you to be my maid of honor.

I know, it is exciting.

Okay, I'll talk to you later.

Bye.

Wasn't it a surprise?

She screamed, my sister's getting married to the entire dorm.

Are you going to have a big wedding?

Well, yeah, we'd like to if Mom and Dad say it's okay. We figure the more the

merrier. How's everybody doing?

Fine. Where's Dad? He went to the hospital. Oh, you should have seen him

he left. He was pathetic.

He was begging me to give Elvin my permission.

Begging. This is the greatest thing we've ever done. Yeah, Dad, it's going

so fake, Dad. Well, he's had it coming a long time.

I can't wait to see Dad's face at dinner tonight. Yeah, Dad won't even know what

hit him. I must admit, I did an excellent job of faking him out.

Well, now, listen, at dinner tonight, this is very important. Everybody

remember, you must keep a straight face.

Do not laugh. We don't want your father to suspect a thing.

This is going to be unbelievable.

He'll be sorry he ever called us sorry.

Okay. Right before I serve dessert, Elvin, you're going to propose to

I'm going to stand up and say, never will I allow this marriage to take

And Sandra, you're going to stand up and say, but Mom, you can't do this. We're

in love.

I'll make it real emotional.

Maybe I should start crying.

Do that.

That's perfect. Do that. And this way, when I throw you out, Dr. Huxtable will

feel so badly.

Maybe we shouldn't do this. I mean, we're being awfully cruel to Dad.

You know what? He deserves this.

Okay, now after I throw Elvin out, we'll all turn to your father and say,

Gotcha! Okay, let's get ready.

Remember,

keep a straight face.

This is gonna be a nightmare.

Yes, it was one of the finest meals I've ever had in this house.

Everybody, dessert is served.

Dessert, too? Yes, homemade apple pie.

Oh, no, no, no. I don't have room for apple pie. I'm going to go out and walk

this off.

Dad, you can't. Huh? You can't.

What do you mean?

Well, we cannot have dessert without you. Yeah, it wouldn't be the same.

stay. Please?

Oh, well, I'm touched by this, that my family would want me here.

Okay. I'll serve.

Before you do that, Mr. Tuxtable, there's something I'd like to say.

Oh, sit down. Sit down.

Pardon me? Sit down.

But I was going to... No! Sit down and shut up!

Now... Um, I have something to say. This is a very sad occasion because

something that was supposed to happen isn't going to happen. Dr. Tuxtable...

shut up!

You've been coming to this house for a long, long time, man. And every time you

come here, you bring nothing but turmoil and havoc.

But thanks to Mrs.

Huxtable, who was the only one who could see through your little trifling ways.

And because of her, because of her, I can see clearly who you are. And you are

nuts. Shut up!

You have a problem?

Now, I'm telling you right... As a matter of fact, you are leaving this

right now. Let's go. You're leaving this house right... No, you're leaving...

You are listening.

No, little birdie, too.

Now, go ahead and propose to my daughter.

I definitely do.

Well, I have something to say. Oh, my goodness.

Elvin, you are marrying my oldest child, the one who's been with me the longest.

And I want you to know that you're getting a very special person here.

But what really makes me happy is that Sandra is getting a very special person,

too.

Thank you.

Dr. Huxtable, I hope you're not too angry with me for trying to pull a joke

you like that.

The positive show was taped before a studio audience.