Original subtitles

Oye, por ahí viene Bill Cosby. Oyele.

That's interesting.

When are you going to go to sleep?

In a minute, honey.

This is a fascinating article about what makes a happy marriage.

And, Cliff, at the end of the article, there is a quiz.

Oh, no.

Let's take the quiz, Cliff.

No. Oh, come on, honey. It'll be fun.

Take a quiz? For what? I'm already happily married. I don't have to take a

and then mess up my marriage.

Are you afraid that we'll find out we don't have a happy marriage?

Question number one. What would you change about your mate?

Nothing.

Are you saying I'm perfect?

Absolutely.

Well, it says here that if your spouse says nothing, he or she may have

something to hide.

That's wrong.

And they lie.

Well, let's see. There must be something about me that you would change.

Well, let me sleep on it, then I'll make a list in the morning.

Well, this is what I would change about you.

Sometimes when you eat, you put your fork in your mouth sideways, and then

you pull it out, it scrapes your teeth, and I don't like that.

I'm sorry.

I won't do it again.

Okay, now it's your turn.

I don't have anything.

Okay, then I'll go again.

You will, won't you?

Yes, I will.

Okay.

I wish that there

were two of you instead of just one.

Cliff, that is very sweet.

Are you trying to say that one of me is not enough?

I'm trying to say that I wish there were two of you because if one started to

act the way you act now, I'd roll over and sleep with the other one.

Is something wrong?

Afraid we're going to have to get rid of the station wagon.

Betty Lou?

Yeah.

Came out of the hospital and I got into her.

She wouldn't start up.

So I got out, went around the front, lifted up the hood and I was looking and

Dr. Quinn came out.

So you're fooling around with that thing again, Dr. Huxtable?

Why don't you get a tow truck and have it towed away forever?

And I know that Betty Lou heard him.

Because her windshield started to mist.

And I took the wiper blade and I...

I wiped little tears from off of the windshield.

Well, Dad, you've had Betty Lou for 15 years.

15 good years, too.

15, 15 years, man, of sleet, snow, snow, blizzards.

I'd be on the road, on my way to deliver a baby, and snow plows

would see Betty Lou coming, and they would pull over to the side.

to say Betty Lou, lead the way. And there were times when the gauge read

empty and she went another 15 miles on fumes.

Oh, Betty Lou. Dad, you have to move on.

Yeah.

Guess I have to get another car.

Well, Mama be happy. She's been wanting you to get rid of Betty Lou for a long

time.

Your mother has always been jealous of him.

Are you going to get another station wagon?

Yep.

Well, Dad, before you do that, I have an idea.

Yeah? What's that?

Well, you see, I don't think a station wagon is the way to go.

Really? Well, no, the family's not that big anymore.

Me and Sandra are away at college, and I'm going to be at college before you

know it. So you're saying I should get something smaller, a sedan?

Well, no, I have something else in mind.

Like what? This.

Oh, XKY4000.

Yeah.

Does this woman lying on the hood come with the car, kid?

No, Dad.

But then this is a sports car.

Dad, this sports car goes from zero to 60 in 5 .7 seconds.

Now think how fast you can get to the hospital and deliver those babies.

You're thinking it's a two -feater, right? Yeah. Now, you know Vanessa

go that many places with us anymore.

And if you let me drive, Mom could sit on your lap.

What do we do with Rudy?

Well, there's a storage space behind the seat.

Just slide her in there.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Better. Look, there's a luggage rack on the trunk.

We could put her on the luggage rack and strap her down.

Are you making fun of me? Yes.

I'm going to get a station wagon.

What about the XKY?

You can get an XKY when you get to do -re -mi.

One second.

What's up?

my report oh go ahead it's on top of the desk what's your report about mammals

reptiles and birds can i read it no why not remember i'll show you something you

tell me it's wrong if you let me read it i promise i won't say anything well

okay

Well, do you want nice or honest?

Honest. It stinks.

It does not stink. I'm sorry, Rudy. You wanted honest.

Okay, tell me what's wrong.

Well, the animals you drew, they're way off.

Under mammals, you drew a duck.

No, that's not a mammal.

That's not a duck.

What is it?

It's a giraffe.

On Mars, maybe, Rudy. No one's going to think that's a giraffe.

Excuse, you are hiding behind your age. Come out.

What can I do? I'm not a good drawer.

Rudy, I can help you with the drawing, but did your teacher say that you had to

draw? No.

Well, there you go.

What you need to do is find some pictures of mammals and birds, cut them

and paste them onto the page. And underneath the picture, write the name

animal. But do it neatly, because teachers love neatness.

Class will start all over again.

Well, it's up to you. You have a choice.

You can either be an ace student or a Miss Floppy Pig.

I want an A.

Good. If you like, I'd be happy to look it over when you're through.

You think I'm coming back here?

I understand.

This is the price.

Yes, I will stand firm on it. Thank you, Bruce. Bye -bye.

Are you going to be ready?

Yes, I am ready.

Why are you dressed like that?

I'm dressed like this because when you go in...

To negotiate the price of a car, you can't go in looking like you have a lot

money.

But the price of the car is already on the sticker, right? That's the suggested

retail price.

Now, I'm going to go in and negotiate with the salesman on what will be the

actual price.

Well, how do you know what price to ask for? I talked to Dr. Bruce Bolden.

who knows all about cars and also happens to be cheap.

Okay. All right.

Now, is there anything I can do to help? Yes. You can not let anyone know that I

am a doctor.

Okay. If they find out that I'm a doctor, then the man will lose all

in determining the price.

Okay, Mr.

Huxtable. Am I still your son? No.

She will always be my son. Thanks, Dad. Will I still be your father? No.

And you know, we handle more cars than any dealership in this whole tri -state

area. I've never seen so many cars.

We've got five miles of cars on that lot. And I'm ready to move every one of

them. Now go ahead and have a seat here.

Thank you, Mr. Surrett.

No, please, call me David.

Now, that station wagon you were looking at. Now, wasn't it a beauty?

And that is the most popular model.

Even the color you wanted, Dad.

Looks like Junior approved.

Junior doesn't have money to pay for a car.

Well, that is true.

But I'm glad you brought him along, because children are truly wonderful.

Mm -hmm. Most of them.

Hey, well, I got three beautiful daughters myself.

She's 12.

Ah, this one's 8.

And check the little baby out, 7 years old.

Look at that little crooked smile.

She could be beating braces pretty soon.

Excuse me.

Hello? Oh, how you doing, dear?

Excuse me, it's my wife.

$200?

Ouch.

Well, go ahead and pay the man. Gotta have heat.

Can't have the children freezing this winter.

Okay, I love you too now. Bye -bye.

$200 here, $200 there.

Soon as I make it, it's gone.

Do you have any more children?

I have four daughters and a son.

And I know exactly what you mean.

Two of them in college.

The others have the braces you're talking about.

I don't have any clothes because I spend everything dressing him up.

Must be quite expensive raising a large family like that. Oh, yeah.

May I ask what you do for a living?

Yes, I work.

Don't we all?

Where? Huh?

Where? Hard.

Doing what?

What difference does it make as long as you work hard?

What did your father do that's so hard?

I wouldn't want to do it.

Well, why don't we take your new car out for a test drive? My new car?

Oh, yeah. In addition to being a salesman, I can also see into the

see you in that car. Can you also see me getting a good deal? Oh, I see you

getting a great deal. Oh!

Mr. Barrett. What are you doing here?

I'm having my car serviced. What about you? You thinking about buying?

Well, I came to buy a station wagon, maybe. A station wagon with all your

And look, what are these clothes you're wearing?

I go into this guy's office. He wears designer sweaters. One of his sweaters

costs more than my whole wardrobe.

Who's this guy standing here?

That's my son. This is Mr. Barrett.

Hi, your name?

Phil. Hi, Leo.

It's very nice seeing you.

You're a doctor.

And how's Mrs.

Huxtable? Oh, so -so.

So -so. I heard she was made a partner in her law firm.

She's in the biggest law firm in the country.

But look, I wish I could stay here talking to you. But look, I gotta go

I'm gonna tell Nancy I saw you, Dr. Huxtable. Thank you, thank you. Oh,

Nice meeting you, Leo. Phil.

Now, what did you say you do?

Harry, how's it going?

I'm almost finished.

Already? That was fast.

This is good.

You like it?

Yeah, these pictures are great. Where did you get them?

Out of these books.

Encyclopedia? Yeah.

Dad's Audubon book of birth, the one Mom gave him for his birthday?

Yeah, that one had lots of good pictures in it.

I don't believe this. You just ruined the very valuable book.

You told me to cut out pictures. Not out of books, out of magazines.

You didn't say magazines.

Well, that is what I meant.

That's not what you said.

It doesn't matter. You are in major trouble.

It's not. You're the one who cut out the pictures.

You're the one who left me alone with scissors.

Hey.

Got the shoes I wanted and on sale.

Vanessa's in trouble.

I am not.

What's wrong?

Vanessa told me to cut pictures out of these books.

gonna buy that daddy only put me in charge because you weren't here you

stay home when you visit excuse me i do have friends to see and shopping to do

can't spend all my time with you too well we're your little sisters and we

to be supervised give me a break i've spent half my life babysitting the two

you i'm in college now so mom and dad are paying for it what have you got to

with anything you should be paying them back by taking care of us yeah

Look, look, look, let's not argue, okay?

Dad's going to settle this when he gets home.

And you two are in big trouble.

Well, Doctor, you have to admit, that was probably the smoothest ride you've

ever had in a station wagon. Now, what are you going to sell me a car for?

Well, you saw the price on the ticket.

All right.

My mind is like a prairie. It's wide open.

So why don't you give me a suggestion?

Are we going to write it on a piece of paper? Uh -huh.

I can see I'm dealing with a pro here.

Why don't you give this back to me when you're done

writing?

You're joking, right?

You're kidding me.

Your father's playing with me, right? Do you have a joke?

Oh, I certainly do. Is it funnier than mine? It's hilarious.

You'll love this one.

You only took $150 off.

That's right. But I'm going to give you that rear window defroster for free. I

don't need a rear window defroster.

I have Junior.

I drive in the car and...

up. I said, stop it. And I said, Junior, he's out.

Doctor, this is the best I can do. Now, you're just going to have to come up

with something.

This price includes my trade -in.

What trade -in? The trade -in. I have a car right out here.

Well, let me take a look.

This could change everything here. All right.

I don't see nothing out there but an old abandoned station wagon.

to add $300 to the prices to tow that thing off my life.

I'll tell you what. I can see that you're really attached to us.

And I am a sentimental guy.

So what I'm going to do is give you a respectable price here.

You add another $500 to your final offer, we got a deal.

$100. Come on, doctor. It's going to take at least $400.

$200. $300.

$200. You can't come up with another $100.

No, sir.

I'm sorry.

As much as I'd like to make this deal, I just...

I can't do this.

Okay, well, thank you, Mr. Surrett. Certainly appreciate your time.

Are we really leaving?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You mean to tell me you would walk out this door over $100?

Yes, sir.

I'll tell you what, man. You know you're making me work hard here.

I'll meet you halfway.

Fifty.

You have a deal.

All right, we did it.

Hi,

Dad. Hi.

What have we here?

We thought we'd do something special tonight.

Oh, nice.

Dad, come, sit down.

We have a brand new station. We'll be there tomorrow morning.

What, Dad?

Oh, thank you.

Would you care for an appetizer? An appetizer?

Oh, my goodness. It is easy.

Pasto, Dad. Your favorite.

Mmm.

My... Mmm.

Mmm.

Well, what's blown up or on fire?

Nothing. No, don't give me nothing. There's something wrong.

here. Now, what have you blown up, what has burned up, or what have you flushed

down the toilet by mistake?

Well, Dad, we were kind of hoping to save that till after dinner. No, no, I

to hear about it now.

Okay. So Rudy was given this assignment where she had to find pictures of

reptiles, mammals, and birds.

Mm -hmm.

She drew some pictures, but I told her they weren't good enough, and I

she find some nice photographs.

Page 98.

And. And.

This one too.

Pages 105 to 128.

Okay. Dad, I didn't tell her to cut up your books. He told me to cut out

pictures. Not out of book.

Please, please.

What I want to say is that these books... Cost a lot of money.

Vanessa didn't tell me that.

Rudy, you owe it to Dad to be quiet. Thank you.

Now, what I was going to say... You were going to yell at Rudy.

No, he wasn't. Yes, he was.

You guys, you guys, we have to keep quiet so Dad can remember what he wants

say.

Dad, what do you want to say?

Is this dinner any good?

Yes. What are we having?

Chicken. Is it the same chicken that was in this book?

No.

Wow.

Why don't we have dinner?

Did you finish that report?

Yes. May I see it, please?

It's a very good report.

Very expensive.

The Cosby Show is taped before studio audience.