Original subtitles

Oh, Rudy, that was a good one.

Okay, Rudy, it's time for bed now.

Oh, Mom, one more?

Oh, no, it's way past your bedtime. Oh, Claire, let the child tell one more.

Okay, just one.

What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?

I don't know. What time is it? Time to get a new fence.

Oh, Rudy, you have a gift for telling jokes.

I know.

Okay.

Okay, baby, that's it. Let's go.

Can I wear the... for Daddy and Grandpa?

No, they may be late.

I'll go wait. Your grandfather is playing the trombone with his friends

and they may stay at the club a long time.

Rudy, it's bedtime.

Please, please.

No, no. Please, please. Just one more for our grandmother. All right, okay,

this is absolutely the last joke of the evening. Okay. Okay.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

Orange. Orange who?

Aren't you glad this...

Good night, honey.

Can I serve a few?

What's that?

This.

No,

it's a pitiful performance, Dad. Oh, now, son, you've said it over and over

the way home. Aren't you through?

No, because it was a pitiful performance.

Is that a way to talk to your father?

Well, I'll tell you what. My father... No, thank you. My father was not up on

that bandstand.

My father's friends were up on that bandstand. My father was standing up

looking like somebody shoved a trombone in his hand. Now, son, you are still not

too big to go over my knee.

Dad, you never put me over your knee. Well, it's not too late to start.

Hi.

How'd it go?

Great.

I'm telling you, I was excited.

And when Dad was up on that bandstand, I turned around, some people sitting

around me, and I said, my father's getting ready to play, so you all better

on to your chairs.

I told the waiters to sit down and make the man turn the air conditioner off.

How did he do that? How about some T -clip?

Now, everybody starts to play. You understand me? And it sounds like the

group.

And I'm sitting

there and I'm going... And I'm going, I said, that's my father.

And you know who, standing next to Dad, comes to his solo, and he plays... And

Dad's standing there popping his fingers, and he's telling him, yeah, go

go ahead, do what you want to do. And he's... And the people in the club going

crazy. And I said, you wait till my father comes over.

And he bashed, and the man stopped and looked at Dad and said, you got it. And

my father stood up, and I told everybody in the club, I said, this is...

And my father said...

And

then stood back and

acted like he had played the greatest thing

anybody ever heard, Mom.

And it was just...

That was my solo, and I'd said what I wanted to say. I've always prided myself

on being brief and coming to the point with my music.

You... My father is a man who, when it was his turn to take a solo,

Claire, this man started to play.

The other band members knew it was his solo. They came down off the bandstand,

got their coach...

to the next state and start another job.

Looked at their watches and said, well, we'll just casually drive on back.

They walked into the club and just leisurely came by.

So when you left for the club, you were excited.

What happened?

Oh, I don't know. Those other guys are still playing. They're going to road.

They're active.

And I've retired.

Oh. I mean, there's a difference between cutting on a banana and working on

someone who's alive.

And that band is alive.

Well, what are you going to do with the tribute?

What tribute?

You know Russell's band.

Well, they're all going to get together next week and have an old -fashioned jam

session. You know, Mr. Sinclair, Roscoe Sinclair, before he died, he said he

wanted the fellas to have an old -fashioned jam session and everybody at

club was talking about it. And I will be there. Yes, but are you going to play?

Are you going to play?

I will play just fine.

I don't want to discuss it. I want a cup of tea.

Okay, okay.

All right, Dad, you can have your cup of tea. I just want you to know that your

grandchildren will be there.

Oh, Claire, I don't think they'd be interested. No, no, no. The

would be interested in seeing their grandfather play.

Yeah, but a nightclub is no place for children. Dad, you started taking me to

your jobs when I was 10 years old. And look how you turned out.

Grandpa! Yeah, Rudy.

Rudy, you're supposed to be in bed.

I want somebody to tuck me in. That's the granddad's job.

Okay, I'll have some hot tea waiting for you when you come down. That would be

nice. Come on, Rudy, I'll tell you a story.

You don't have to. I know some jokes.

You do? Well, I want to hear more.

He'll be up there a long time.

I don't know what to do with that man.

Oh, come on, Anna. He was a professional musician for 40 years.

I mean, maybe he just doesn't want to play anymore.

No, that's not it.

Heathcliff, you were there.

Now, how did it look to you?

It looked to me like my father was on the bandstand with a bunch of fellas who

play all the time, and he has been retired, and he lost his confidence.

And I think you ought to talk to him.

He won't live.

Why won't he? Because he's a huxtable man.

Oh, you mean stubborn.

You know it. Well, I'm not stubborn. And they never admit it.

If I was stubborn, I mean, I would admit it.

I have tried to get Russell to practice, but he just won't do it.

Tell me I'm stubborn.

You mean he won't even pick the horn up?

Oh, he picks it up and plays one piece.

And it is the saddest, slowest thing you have ever heard.

It is depressing.

Well, Mom, why don't you say something to him about it?

Oh, she can't do that. Why not?

Because he's a huckstool man.

Oh, what?

Well, the direct approach isn't going to get you anywhere. What you have to do

is sneak up on Russell. You have to flatter him and make him feel good, and

he'll listen.

No, no, no, no, no. That is not going to work on a hospital band because we

would recognize that right away.

Well, Cliff, I would never try something like that on you. I mean, you're too

sensitive and perceptive.

Thank you.

Come down here, please. I'm practicing.

It'll only take a minute.

Okay.

Am I practicing too loud?

No, no, no, that's not the problem. Well, what's the problem? It's there.

Well, what's the problem, baby?

Russell, did you hear yourself up there? Well, of course I did. Here's how you

were playing.

And Monday night, that band's going to be playing.

You remember that riff? Of course I do. I used to sit in the club and watch a

man play that with fire and bash. Yes, but how do you see... I don't want to

hear it. I'm not going to let you go to that club Monday night so Spencer

Cunningham can outblow you on a tennis ax.

He can't outblow me.

His wife always said that he could play you under the table. And I'm not going

to sit with that woman all night and listen to her say, darling, nobody can

like my Spencer.

She won't be sitting at the table. She'll probably be on the stage singing.

Right. Off key and wiggling her hips.

She wouldn't even be up there if her husband wasn't in the band.

Anna, do you want to sing?

No, I don't want to sing.

But I want you to play so Roscoe can hear.

Not loud.

Because you can play loud, but good.

How do you think Roscoe would feel if he looked down from heaven and heard...

No,

I want you to play like this.

All right, I know.

You think you can do that?

I don't think I have a choice.

You don't really.

Bye. Bye.

when he wanted to get me up there.

Looking good.

Not every day we hear your dad play jazz. What are you doing?

I'm looking through this old...

photo album to see if I can find some pictures of Dad with his original band.

Get all this stuff clear?

Uh -huh.

Do you remember?

No, no, we're not gonna play Do You Remember?

Why not?

Because every time you start with me with Do You Remember about our wedding,

then if I can't remember, then you put me in a headlock.

I wouldn't do that to you.

Do you remember what time we were married? Now, see, there you go.

Well, do you remember?

One o 'clock.

Three, three, three o 'clock. Three o 'clock in the afternoon. I was just

joking, that's all.

Do you remember my wedding dress?

Your wedding dress was white charmeuse with a high -laced collar.

You had pearl applique, cut six inches below.

Of course you do. Now, let me ask you a question, dear. Yes.

What color tie did I have on?

You had on a red tie.

Wrong.

Okay, it was burgundy.

Wrong again.

The most important time in our lives, and you cannot remember a simple thing

like the color of a person's tie.

The tie was blue.

Wrong again.

It was gray.

The tie was gray. It was not gray. Here's a picture of it. Look at this.

tie. Gray.

Click that. It's a black and white picture. You can't tell anything from

It doesn't make any difference. It was gray.

You can see that in the... Well, everything in that picture looks gray.

wedding dress looks gray. Let's look at our wedding album that's in color. No,

you don't have to look at it in color. No, you don't tell me.

Ah -ha!

What? The tie was red.

Let me see. No, I don't want you to see. I want to ask you a question. What did

I do not see?

I want to know about your shoes. Were your shoes patent leather or regular?

Oh, you mean the ones I was wearing, right? Oh, yeah.

They were leather.

Tell me about your flower.

The flower was in my lapel.

Ah, okay.

What kind of flower were you wearing?

I think it was daffodil.

What did you forget this time? The most important day of his life, his wedding

day. He can't even remember what he was wearing. No, no.

Look, son, do me a favor. When you get married, burn everything.

Come on, listen.

No, I'm not listening to another joke.

One more?

No. Just one more, please.

All right, let's hear it.

Knock, knock. Does it have to be a knock, knock joke?

Yes.

I say next time Sandra's home, we lock her up in a room with Rudy.

I want you guys to take a look at this and see if you recognize anybody.

What? What?

Look at that.

Grandpa. Uh -huh. He looks so young.

He doesn't have gray hair. His hair didn't turn gray until he had

Is Grandpa going to sing tonight?

No, Rudy, Grandpa just plays.

You see, Rudy, this is old people's music before they had words.

This was when...

no picture and cars are made of iron.

This is a very important part of our history and that's why we're going to

it. Is it going to be fun?

Well, it'll be interesting. Sort of like going to a museum.

These are not dinosaurs.

These are musicians and they're going to be...

Whoa! Get down, Dad!

Hey.

You look truly beautiful tonight.

I believe Granddad may have some money for these children. No, no, no, you're

not giving them any money tonight. Now, come over here. I want to show you some

little inspiration here.

Now, who is that?

Look. That is a handsome group. You better believe it. Grandpa, are you

play? I think so. Your grandmother's been giving me some musical direction.

Tonight, Spencer Cunningham is going to retire his tenor sax, and Mrs. Spencer

Cunningham is going to retire her hip. Okay.

All right, let's go to the gig.

I am really looking forward to hearing you play tonight, Dad. I'm looking

forward to it myself.

Yes, and I'm looking forward to hearing you play.

You remember the first time I heard you play?

No. No, Dad, you better remember, or else she'll put you in the headlock.

Wherever he is, I'm sure he's smiling because we have here tonight all the

original members of the Jazz Caravan.

And the final member has just arrived, Clyde Huxtable.

Before we start playing, I'd like you all to take a good look, because

here is about a thousand years of jazz.

Let's go.

Get ready. Ladies and gentlemen, the Jazz Caravan.

Normally we let the slide warm up, but however, there is no time, because

and I are getting old.

Let's go!

Quite an evening, wasn't it?

Yes, it was. It was.

Russell hasn't lost his touch.

Spencer hasn't either.

Spencer's lost his endurance.

He's a dream lad.

And so is Russell.

let me do

The Cosby Show is taped in front of a live studio audience.