Original subtitles

What are you doing?

Icing my cake.

Your cake?

Yeah. He made it all by himself from scratch.

Aren't you the same guy who said it's a man's job to go out and club the

antelope and a woman's job to stay in the cave and cook it? Yeah, but that was

the old Elvis. See, since we've gotten back together, Elvis decided that his

attitudes about women could stand some improvement. Oh, that's right. And I

thought that one way of becoming more sensitive and understanding as a man

be to experience what it's like doing woman's work.

Did I say something wrong?

This is not women's work. My dad cooked. A lot of men cook.

I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that.

Oh, Denise, Elvin just started working on his attitudes.

We can't expect him to change overnight.

Sandra!

Yeah, Rudy?

You promise you won't get mad?

What did you do?

I stole your nail polish.

Okay, well, go clean it up.

In your suitcase.

You know what? Your cake looks pretty good. Thanks. What is it?

Chocolate chocolate chip.

Hey. Hey, Dad.

Albert. Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

What are you doing here? He's doing woman's work, Dad.

I drove Sandra home from Princeton this morning, and when I got here, I decided

to stay and bake a cake.

I'm doing this because I think it'll help me be more understanding and

as a man.

Why'd you bake the cake?

I want Mrs. Huxtable to like me.

Mrs. Huxtable likes you. No, she doesn't. She doesn't. Every time I'm

she gets mad at me. Well, it's your attitude, son.

Well, I'm trying to change, but, Dr. Huxtable, between you and me, it's not

my fault.

Oh? Well, you know how women are.

They're emotional.

You say one little thing, and it sets them off.

Then they start talking without thinking.

This cake is for Mrs. Huxtable? Yes. This better be a good cake.

You'll find out at dinner. Well, what kind is it? Chocolate, chocolate chip.

Aha.

Now, my suggestion is, Alvin, that before you try this out on Memphis

and the rest of the family, you should have someone sample this.

Would you? Well, I... You know, I just... Do you want me to?

Yes, sir, please.

Well, I... I just happen to like chocolate.

Chocolate chip cake, you see. I'm glad.

And I happen to be an authority on this. I didn't know that. Oh.

I'll have to cut it again, I guess.

extra dense.

Oh, yeah.

It seems to have some sort of humanness to it.

I don't think so.

I want Mrs. Huxtable to eat that. What am I going to do with it? I don't know.

You're too far from the ocean.

I'll think of something. Oh, Albert.

Oh, Albert.

Cliff?

Hey. Cliff, come here. You are not going to believe this. Sit down.

What's the matter? Now, somebody at work had this catalog today, right?

I am thumbing through this thing at lunchtime, and I found this.

Ellis Wilson.

Yes, my great uncle. Alice Wilson is in this book? Yes.

This painting used to hang in my grandmother's house. Cliff, when I was a

girl, I used to spend hours looking at it. And tomorrow, it is being sold at an

auction. And I want it.

Yeah, it says here the price is $7 ,000 to $9 ,000, dear.

Well, yeah, that's the estimated price, $7 ,000 to $9 ,000. But, Cliff, I really

want it.

Really? Well, it's an auction, you know. I mean, it could go for hire.

Dear, I'm with you.

No, Cliff, I want to buy it by myself.

See, it's been out of the family for 30 years now, and I want to be the one who

gets it back.

Sold. Great.

And I want to see it hanging right here over this fireplace.

You get it at the auction.

I will hang it.

Hi, Mrs. Huxtable.

Well, hello, Alvin. I didn't know you were here. Yeah, Alvin drove Sandra home

from Princeton.

Why are you wearing my apron?

I'm trying to learn how to cook.

You? Yes.

In fact, I baked you a cake.

but I accidentally dropped it on the floor. Oh, that's terrible.

Well, it's a thought that counts.

That's true.

Maybe I could cook dinner for all of you sometime.

No, I don't think that's a good idea.

I think it's a lovely idea.

No, I don't think that you think that that's a good idea.

I think it's a lovely idea, and you can cook dinner tomorrow night after the

auction. Auction? Yes. Tomorrow we're going to an art auction, and we're

this.

Hey, that's an Ellis Wilson.

Oh, you know his work? Sure.

I'm an art major.

He's one of my favorites.

Well, that's Mrs.

Huxtable's great -uncle. You're kidding!

That painting used to hang in my grandmother's house.

Well, how did it turn up in an auction?

Well, my grandmother was old. She was sickly, you know, had a lot of medical

bills, was proud, didn't want to come to anybody in the family, so she just sold

it without telling anybody.

Dr. Huxtable, I think it's wonderful you're buying this painting for your

I'm buying the painting.

Did Dr. Huxtable say it was okay?

I understand your thinking.

You see, in your mind, it's okay if Dr. Huxtable buys this painting because he

works it. He's a man, right?

Right. Well, I work.

And it's okay if I buy this painting, too. But not because he says so, but

because it is so.

Okay? Okay.

Okay. May I still cook dinner tomorrow night? No.

looking forward to it i don't mean to do these things they just they just come

out i understand son it's it's sort of like talking and not thinking first yeah

i do that yeah i get that from my mom

you you you want to

cook yes i do okay well do you know how to cook anything all i know how to make

is chocolate no no you don't you don't

Now, is there something else you know how to do? Oh, salad.

Stay with the salad, boy.

Okay. Now, I'll show you something special. We're going into the kitchen.

Now, if you will just pay attention to me. You want to impress Mrs. Huxtable,

don't you? Very much. All right. Now, my boy, you are going to learn from me.

You're going to fix Dr.

Huxtable's secret spaghetti sauce.

Is it hard to make? No, indeed.

See, it comes out of the jar.

You understand?

Yes, yes.

Dr. Huxtable's secret spaghetti sauce is actually Mrs.

Farber's hot and spicy barbecue sauce.

But that's not really cooking, is it? It is cooking. Although you get the jar,

it's what you add to the sauce that makes it work.

You understand what I'm saying? First of all, you make yourself look like a

cook.

about this size.

Put water in them.

People think you're cooking when they see steam.

Now, you'll put all kinds of leaves and spices and herbs and tree stems in

all of these pots.

Garlic, anything that gives off an aroma.

Now, you'll have the lid on. This is bubbling and steam and trees brewing.

Wow, they come out.

Meanwhile, just in the little thing over on the side.

Mrs. Farber's hot and spicy.

Now, you don't want anybody to see your tricks.

You know, you understand?

You're the chef, see? You know, and when they're from far away, you'll see them

peeking through doors and you stand and you just, you have nothing in you. Just,

you know, what?

You know, and do like that. And keep your arm bent like this, you know.

And then always, and always, every once in a while, go down here and come back

up again.

Never look like you can't find something. Don't stand, you know,

will give me, oh, he's lost something. But this will be, you got to steam.

And do a lot of this.

You got it? Mrs.

Farber's Hot and Spicy.

Barbecue sauce. With a little herbs and bushes.

Okay, I'll give it a try. All right.

But, Dr. Huxtable, I'm still worried. Uh -huh. Even if I make a great sauce, I

still might say something stupid to Mrs. Huxtable at dinner. When you say

something dumb, like you usually do, get up

from the table, son, and you come back here. You understand?

And you go out through this door here and keep going.

Hey, son, all ready for the auction?

I think so. How do I look?

You look good.

I know that, but do I look good?

Yeah, you look good.

Cockroach said these auctions are really fancy.

He said everyone drives up on limousines, and when they get out,

tuxedos and mink coats, and they're eating caviar.

Now, when did Cockroach go to an auction?

Well, he didn't, but he saw one in a James Bond movie.

Oh.

You know what else he said?

He said every woman there would be unbelievable.

Well, son, just so one of these unbelievable women will not see you

out of the crowded station wagon, we're going to let you off two blocks away

from the place, and you can go into the caviar store and pick up a six -pack for

her.

Thanks, Dad. You're welcome.

Hey,

Elvin. Hey, Dale.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Alvin. All set for dinner. Okay.

What's that?

Well, Alvin is cooking dinner tonight after the auction. We're having

with Alvin's secret sauce.

Sounds serious.

It is.

Better be good, Alvin.

Okay. Now, what do you have?

All right. You got the leaves.

I got them with the stems on them. That's right. You got the stems.

You want some garlic?

Garlic, yeah. You got the Italian parsley? Got that. All right. Where's

Barber? It's on the bottom underneath the boxes of spaghetti.

Cook it.

Cook it. Well, I'm ready.

Hi, Mr. Tuxible. Hello, Elvis. You look lovely.

Thank you.

And I'd just like to say one thing.

I just want to wish you good luck at the auction today.

To me, you're not just buying a painting. You're... retrieving a symbol

heritage. I mean, most people take their past for granted.

But I've always felt that if we only look forward without ever looking

backwards, then we're really looking nowhere.

Elvin, that's lovely.

And I just want to say also... Elvin, Elvin, Elvin.

That's all I want.

Yeah, this is pretty nice. All right, now, look. Before anybody does anything,

just remember, don't touch anything.

Where's your picture, Mom?

There it is.

Look, I haven't seen this since I was eight years old.

The frame is different, but that's the painting.

Rudy, your great -great -uncle painted this.

I like it. I hope one day you'll be able to show it to your children.

I won't let them touch it.

Dad, mind if I look around? There are a couple of things I want to check out.

I hope they're unbelievable.

I'll let you know.

Dad,

can we look around, too?

Yes, please. Just keep an eye on Rudy.

You always have to watch her. Come on, I'll help you.

Mom, I think this is a good sign.

What? Well, we're the only ones looking at the picture. Maybe no one else will

buy it.

That's fine by me.

How did we know there wasn't a whole crowd of people before we got here?

No, no, I think Alvin's absolutely correct this time.

And I think we should all mingle around and find out if anybody's talking about

this painting.

You mean spy?

Yeah.

I'll tell you what. We'll all go out and mingle. We'll meet back here at 1600

hours. All right? And the code words will be the wet dog

sighs in the dry fire.

All right, Dad. We'll meet back here at 1600 hours.

Hi. Hi.

What do you think of it?

Nice. You really don't like it, do you?

I have to be honest.

It looks like something my little sister would do.

But that's why it's good.

It's simple and innocent.

Sounds like you know a lot about art. My dad's a curator at a museum.

I'm Darlene.

I'm Theo.

There are a couple of other paintings around here I don't know too much about.

Maybe you could help me? Sure.

Hey, Theo.

Hi, Theo.

Who's she?

This is Darlene. Darlene is my sister. Hi. Hi. Hi. She teaches me about art.

Oh, isn't that nice? Art.

You like her?

Darlene, there's a painting over there we should check out. Let's go.

It was a pleasure meeting you. Yeah. Pleasure was all.

Hello. Hey, how you doing? Hi.

Ellis Wilson.

Oh, yeah.

Definitely. Oh, my goodness. What a nice painting.

By a very important artist. Yes.

Seven to nine thousand. That's a lot of money.

Not really.

Actually, it's quite a steal.

It is?

Oh, yeah. Well, just look at it.

This painting shows Wilson's mastery of light, the God form, the simplicity of

composition. Give this particular piece.

Rhythm and emotion.

Well, I just thought it was a nice painting.

Oh, no, my friend. It's a lot more than that. Really? No, this is a very

important work by a major artist.

Thank you.

Philip, this would look marvelous over the couch.

Yes, dear.

You know, you can never tell what these things will go for.

That's true.

I was here, oh, about a month ago, and a painting that was estimated at $10 ,000

went for $98 ,000.

Now, that's what I call auction fever.

Right. You know, the same thing could happen here tonight.

Could? You ask me, this room is hot.

Yes, it just might be.

Done?

$1 ,000 now. $18 ,500. $19 ,000. The bid's up front here on the left at $19

,000. All done.

Sold now for $19 ,000.

Our next painting is lot number 22, a landscape by Edward Duthner.

You know what?

That would look nice in my waiting room.

It really would.

What's the estimate on that? Estimate $700.

$700?

I think I should try and get it.

You think I should? Yes.

All right, and we'll start the bidding at $500. We'll say $500 for it. $500.

Now, the bid's up front at $500. We'll say $600.

$600. On the left, lady's bid now at $600.

$600. Against you, sir. Will you say $700?

$700 now.

$800 I have. Still the lady's bid at $800. Will you say $900?

$900 in front. Now $1 ,000.

$1 ,000 I have over here. Hey, that's my daddy's picture.

Well, I have $1 ,000 and a young lady who loves her daddy. Will you say $1

sir? $1 ,100!

That's $1 ,100.

Now say $1 ,200. $1 ,200 over here now. $1 ,300.

$1 ,400.

$1 ,500.

$1 ,600.

$1 ,700. $1 ,800. $1 ,900.

$2 ,000. Now will you say $1 ,000? I have $2 ,000 over here then. Will you

$21 ,000?

No, for $2 ,000.

Ladies bid on the left.

Your $700 painting that went for $2 ,000, yours is going for $40 ,000 ,000.

I don't care, Cliff. I want it.

It doesn't make any difference to me. I hope it looks good in jail.

My next seller is lot 23, a work by Ellis Wilson.

Dear, he hadn't asked for the bid.

I'd like to start the bidding at $5 ,000. I already have a bid of $5 ,000.

you. At $5 ,000 here, who'll say $6 ,000? $6 ,000 on my left now at $6 ,000.

$7 ,000. $7 ,000 I have now at $7 ,000. Now $8 ,000.

$8 ,000 over here at $8 ,000. You already have a penny for your couch,

Not at all.

I have $8 ,000 over here by the lady. Lady's bid at $8 ,000. We'll say $9 ,000

now at $8 ,000 on my left. We'll say $8 ,500 then.

$8 ,500 at the back now at $8 ,500. Now we'll say $9 ,000. $9 ,000, the bid's up

front. $9 ,500 on my left now at $9 ,500.

Now $10 ,000. $10 ,000 at the back. I have $10 ,000 first at the back of the

room. Now $10 ,500. $10 ,500 on my left.

I have $10 ,500. Who'll say $11 ,000? $11 ,000. $11 ,000 in front. At $11

now against you, sir. At $11 ,000, will you say $11 ,500?

Well, it's $11 ,000 here, then, the lady in front.

Sold for... All

right. Welcome home, Uncle F. And this... is the paddle that brought

you home and it's still smoking.

Talk to the rest of us.

Yes, he is, ma 'am. Who's calling?

Oh!

Theo, it's Darlene, your art teacher.

I'll take this one upstairs.

I had a great time, too.

Would you cut it out?

Would you cut it out?

Theo, maybe you should take it upstairs.

Darlene, I'm gonna take this upstairs.

Hold on, please.

No, you gotta stay here.

Elvis.

I'm impressed.

Thanks, Mr. Tuxtable.

Smells delicious in here.

Mrs. Huxtable, would you like tape?

I'd love a tape.

Hmm.

Elvin, this is good. I know.

This is almost as good as your secret sauce.

Well,

I gave him a few pointers on it.

You know, the two of you could collaborate and market this. You're

That's a great idea.

I could go for that.

Of course as an attorney I would suggest that you get Mrs.

Farber's permission.

The Cosby Show is taped in front of a live studio audience.