Original subtitles

Yeah. Daddy.

Daddy. What's happening?

What's this word?

Which one?

Uh, yarn. See?

Yarn. Yarn.

Thanks. I gave my cat a ball of yarn. She put it in

her back.

Daddy. Where are you going?

What is it? What's this word?

Back.

Why don't we read this together? She played.

She played with it all day.

Got it?

The end.

All right.

You want to read something else?

No, you're tired.

Thank you.

May I have a kiss, please?

I was basketball practice.

Okay, I couldn't really concentrate.

All I could think about was that math test we had today.

Oh, yes, Mrs. Westlake. Well, how'd it go?

Dad, it was a killer.

20 questions, no multiple choice, and we couldn't even use calculators. Ha, ha,

ha. And during the whole test, you couldn't hear anyone breathing.

And when the bell rang, everyone got up, gave the test to Mrs. Westlake, and

left without saying a word.

All right.

Poor cockroach couldn't even get out of the chair.

He just sat there shaking his head saying, I never got past number three.

Well, how many did you do?

Well, I answered all 20.

How do you think you did?

You know math.

All I can say is I studied as hard as I could.

That's all I can ask.

That's all your mother can ask.

That's all the world.

I just hope Cockroach is all right.

Last time I saw him, he was wandering around the parking lot saying, I didn't

get past number three.

Okay.

Huxtable residence.

Yes, he's here. Who's speaking?

Hold on, Mrs. Westlake.

Dad,

this is Mrs. Westlake.

You're Mrs. Westlake?

She's not my Mrs. Westlake, Dad.

She wants to talk to you.

Okay.

Hello.

Dr. Huxtable here.

Yes, Mrs. Westlake, how are you?

You would?

Well, fine, sure.

Well, why don't you come over here for dinner?

Dad, no, come on, please, don't do this to me. Do what to you? Come on, give it

to me.

Yes, I think we're sure you can bring your husband over.

Just a minute, please. Are you landing an airplane?

Dad, please don't invite her over here.

It's too late, I already did.

Now, listen, Mrs.

Westlake, yes, my wife and I would be so happy. 6 .30.

Yes. We'll see you then.

Okay. No, no, no, no, no. This will not be anything fancy. Thank you very much.

Bye -bye.

See, you didn't tell me she had another test.

What did she say, Dad?

She said she wanted to see me.

It's got to be the test. I blew it. You don't know that.

How come you couldn't just meet her at school?

Because I thought it would be nicer if she came here. But you didn't even ask

that.

No, say that to me again.

You didn't even ask me she could come over for dinner.

Wait one second.

Stay right here.

This is the mortgage.

This is the electricity.

Your name is not on any of these.

Dinner is in two hours. Wash up.

The water's all paid for.

If I paid for the water, would you call her back?

She's coming. Who?

The creature teacher.

Mrs. Westlake? Yes.

She's coming here for dinner tonight.

Dad invited her.

I'm sorry to hear that. What's the occasion? A math test.

Wait a minute. She's coming here for a math test? What'd you get?

She's coming here. What do you think I got?

Sounds pretty bad.

I wonder if I can break my arm before dinner.

Yeah, come on. How bad could it be? She's only going to be here a few hours.

But what if Cockroach and the guys find out she was here?

I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life.

Wherever I go, I'll be known as the guy who had dinner with Miss Wesley.

Well, I'm sorry. I'm going to miss this one.

You're not going to be here?

I can. I told Monica to go shopping with her. Denise, you can't. I need you here

to take the pressure off me.

See, I can't stay. Look, maybe you'll be lucky. Maybe she'll call and cancel or

something. No way. She'll jump at this. A woman like her never gets invited

anywhere.

Dad, what are you doing?

I'm putting hors d 'oeuvres down for the guests. Why?

Because I always put hors d 'oeuvres out for the guests.

Dad, this is going to make the evening longer.

Can't we just come in and go to the table and start eating?

If you'd like, I just put the food in a brown paper bag and have

them eat it out on the sidewalk.

Why would me?

What are you doing?

I'm straightening pillows.

Miss Westlake likes order.

Every day when she comes to class, the first thing she does is to make sure our

desks are in perfect rows.

Really?

I'll take her up and show her your room.

Dad, no.

Wait till you see this woman. She's standing from the class like this, with

hair in the tight bun and glasses on the tip of her nose so she can look down on

us.

Must be rough.

I feel sorry for her husband.

I only spend one class a day with her. He has to live with her.

He probably has to raise his hand just to go to the bathroom.

Vanessa, what are you doing?

I'm eating dinner.

Mom, how come Vanessa isn't eating with us?

Well, she's going to a science club meeting.

Well, Rudy's eating with us, right? No, she's staying over at Peter's house.

You mean I'm going to be the only one here Miss Westlake can pick on?

Vanessa, come on.

Have another dinner.

Wouldn't you want to spend a nice evening with those adults?

I'm sorry, Theo, I can't. But why are you so upset about this?

Are you kidding? How would you feel if your teacher was coming over for dinner?

I'd love it. You would.

Theo, don't worry about this. It's going to be a lovely evening.

Mom's right.

The only thing I would worry about is making a mistake at dinner.

What do you mean?

Same as Westlake asked you to pass the gravy.

And when you do, your elbow hits the table. and you spill the whole bowl in

lap.

Mom, are we having gravy?

No.

But you know what could be worse?

It's what's like reaches for the salt and you accidentally sneeze on her arm.

Mom.

Vanessa, I really don't think that Theo needs to hear these things right now.

And if you did have a teacher coming over, I'm sure you'd be a little

Maybe. But I don't call my teacher Dragon Lady behind her back.

Dr. Huxtable?

Yes. Hi.

This is my husband.

Hi, Jack Wesley.

Wesley? Yes.

Theo! Come here, son!

Mrs. Wesley?

Hello, Cesar.

Yeah, this is your teacher with the bun in the head.

Thank you.

Theo, why don't you sit down?

Oh, yeah.

Come join us, please.

Why don't you sit next to me? I don't bite.

Mrs. Westlake, Mrs.

Huxtable and I are very, very happy to meet you.

Well, Anna was very excited about meeting you. Okay. Yes, I was.

You have such a lovely accent. Where are you from?

I'm from Indiana.

That's why I married him. I love the way he talks.

No, Mrs. Westlake, I was talking about you. Where are you from?

Oh, please, call me Ana Maria.

I'm from Brazil.

Ah, Brazil.

We're not going to do this tonight.

We're not. We're going to talk American tonight. I'm so sorry.

Yeah, all right.

No,

that's it. No, no.

So what city are you from?

From Rio.

Rio? Oh, that's my city.

You have never been.

Because my wife won't let me go.

ever let you go though you should go during carnival it's fantastic i mean

whole city there's one big party she took me last year kept me up dancing all

night in the middle of the street miss wetland we were going to go back this

year but we may not be able to yeah you're happy about that but we're happy

about what might keep us from going back

Congratulations. Thank you. Congratulations.

That's why I called you.

I want you to be my doctor.

Well, why didn't you say that on the phone?

You didn't give me the chance.

Well, I would be honored.

Does this mean you won't be finishing the school year?

Oh, no. Oh.

If I'm pregnant, the baby will come in the summer.

Will you be teaching next year? No.

I'm taking a year off.

Son, you were fortunate to get Miss Westlake what you did.

Yes, Dad.

Very fortunate.

Excuse me. Well, this really is a special occasion. We get to meet Jack

-Marie.

Dad, that is not the Mrs. Westlake I told you about.

Who is it?

That's Mrs. Westlake, but that is not the Mrs. Westlake I know. I see.

First of all, look at her.

She's looking good.

She's got her hair down, got her glasses off.

Dad, she's wearing makeup.

She even says something funny.

Now, I can get A's from a woman like that.

So what is your point?

She can't fool me.

I know what she's doing here.

What? You see, She didn't come here because of that baby.

She's waiting for the right time to tell me what I got on my math test.

She wants to drop the bomb on me in my own home.

You see, Dad, that would be a dream come true for her.

Listen to what you're saying.

And I heard you.

I thought about it.

Do you know what I think?

What? I think you're losing your mind.

Are you making fun of me, Dad? No, you're doing all of it yourself. Now,

out here.

So the man said, I'm sorry, sir, but the Toreador does not always win.

When I first moved to America...

learning my English, but people did not speak the English I was learning.

They spoke a kind of diner English.

See, Anna used to work at a diner when she was going to college. Yes.

Give me Adam and Eve on the raft.

Oh, yes, two poached eggs on toast.

I didn't know that.

I used to work in a diner, too. Really? Yeah, I've got one for you. Give me a

bird, hole, the garden.

Hamburger, no lettuce, no tomato.

All right.

What about this one? Give me a dog and make it cry.

Yes, the hot dog with onions.

Oh.

I have one for you.

Give me a dried up frog and leave his liver in.

And what is that?

That's exactly what I said.

How long did you work in the diner? All through college. Tell them what you did

on the weekends.

I drove a taxi, Captain.

You drove a cab?

Yeah. The first night wasn't easy.

A man got into my cab and told me, let's go to the airport and step on it.

I thought to myself, why do I have to step on the airport?

And he said, please, I need to get there in a jiffy.

And I said, listen, this is not a jiffy. It's a yellow cab.

To the airport?

Yes, but I missed my flight.

So you worked two jobs while you were in

college. Yeah, but I didn't mind the work. I was in America.

I knew that if I worked hard, I could be whatever I wanted.

That's why I make you work so hard.

Well, Theo has said that he gets an awful lot of attention in your class.

But I'm not saying I'm lying.

That's not what you said. He came home the first day of school.

He came home, his face was like this.

No, no, no, no, come on, come on, come on. I have to tell, I have to tell, I

have to tell.

My son, my son came home, face was like this, and he said, Dad.

The thing I was most afraid of in my whole life happened today.

I said, what, son?

I caught Miss Westlake.

And the first day, Dad, she gave us homework.

And what about the second day of class?

I knew he had not done his homework.

Because when I asked for volunteers to go to the blackboard, I saw him try to

hide behind the person in front of him. Yeah, I used to do that in biology

class.

It doesn't work. I know.

That's why I always sent you to the blackboard.

I wanted you to know that I knew you weren't prepared.

I thought it might make you study more.

It did.

I know.

Because now, when you go to the blackboard, you do much, much better.

And the classes...

And they want to do better, too.

And, Maria, I don't know if Theo knows it or not, but I think he's very lucky

have a teacher like you. Thank you.

You know, I get excited when my students do the work I know they can do.

I don't like it when I see children take education for granted.

That's why I'm tough.

And I'll keep being tough.

Even if it means that they'll call me the dragon lady.

you that.

All my students do.

But I like that name. You know?

It means that I'm doing my job.

It's not my business. I'm afraid it's mine. May I use your phone? Of course.

Thank you.

Would you excuse me just a little bit?

I'd like to talk to you through the door in the other room.

You what?

And make it snappy.

That's Miss Westlake I know.

You wanted to see me, Miss Westlake?

Yes. Theodore, please sit here.

Yes, Mrs. Westlake.

You know what?

I'm very glad that I came here tonight.

Me too.

Maybe we could do it again sometime. Oh, yes, I hope so too.

You know what?

I love your parents.

They are very, very nice.

Thank you, Mrs. Westlake.

Theodore, I want to talk to you.

I bought the task today.

I brought it with

me, but I didn't want to give it to you in front of your parents.

Thank you, Mrs. Wesley.

Do I have to? You don't have to.

Open it.

Yes, Mrs. Westlake.

At 89?

89?

I've got an 89 right now!

I mean, I'm very pleased with myself.

students just got up to problem number three.

This is an 89.

Come in.

89.

Tell me the truth now.

Didn't you wind up having a wonderful time today?

I have to admit, I really did.

Yeah.

And since we're not going to have a test for another three weeks, I have a lot

less pressure on me. Look, you studied.

You studied for a whole week. That's why you got to 89.

Now, you have a habit of knowing when the test is coming and then waiting

until the night before.

Then you study.

And you walk around the house and you yell at people. You have pencils

out of your ears. Will you all be quiet? I'm trying to study here.

But I give you credit.

You're a genius.

I am?

Yeah. See, you would study the night before. You would read from chapter 1 to

chapter 20.

Inhale all of it. And then the next morning, go take the test and pass.

Just pass.

That's right. Just pass. Now, Dr. Newman, my professor at school, he said,

of yourself as an airplane.

You take off.

See, you burn.

A lot of fuel taking off. But once you reach that height and level off, you

less fuel.

See? Just level off. See? But the way you used to do it is you would take off

and land.

Take off and land.

And the passengers getting jittery and nervous.

Now that you've taken off in math, all you need to do is study to keep your

altitude. I like that.

All right. I like that. Now, just because of that, I think that you and I

go on downstairs and we'll have a little dessert, huh?

I don't know, Dad.

You see, dessert is like an airplane.

Once you get to a certain weight, you have to cut back on the fuel.

Yeah, but that's okay for me, son, because I fly a lot lower than you.

The Cosby Show is taped in front of a live studio audience.