Original subtitles

Hey, Peaches, it's a weight gain chart that Dad is going to use to teach all of

the pregnant mommies at the community center about weight gain.

What do you think?

Without flat lines.

Okay, Mrs.

Van Gogh, how would you like to try one?

Go ahead.

Right here. Go ahead.

Daddy!

Dad! Hey!

I think you're almost ready.

Yes, dear.

Rudy.

Hey, you're doing a great job here.

You haven't been coloring that long, but look at that. You've got great artistic

strokes.

Yeah, well, dear, I did these.

You went outside the line. No, Rudy did it.

No,

I didn't.

Huxtable residence.

Tony, como esta?

25. Ay, no me digas. No, no, no, no, no. Está bien.

No, está bien.

Pues nos vemos muy pronto, ¿ok?

Ok, adiós.

¿Quién era, mamá? Era mi amigo Tony Castillo, the community center.

Gracias. Oh, Rudy, hablas muy bien en español.

But what's the matter, Cliff? You feeling left out because you don't speak

Spanish? No, I just, uh, listen for my name.

What? Just listen for your name.

Chester, class was supposed to start five minutes ago. Where is Dr.

Huxtable? He's late. I know that.

Where is he?

My business is to look after what goes on in here.

What they do out there is their business.

Well, when he gets here, I'm really going to let him have it. Well, that's

business.

Chester, great news.

We got ourselves a new customer.

Now, this is our main man.

Anything you need, anything you want, remember, he'll give it to you.

Can I have a basketball?

Yeah, we have rules. You take a ball, you have to leave something in exchange.

But I don't have anything.

Then you don't have a ball.

Chester, I just gave you a big pickup.

And this is the way you're going to treat our new friend?

Now, son, I know you got something.

Let me see your pocket.

And I thought you said you didn't have anything.

Lookie here. A perfectly good piece of fuzz.

Just it.

Give the boy the ball.

Thanks, Tony. You got it. And remember, you don't return the ball, you don't get

back the fuzz.

Tony, we got rules.

Didn't you see the look on that boy's face?

You know what I saw? I saw happiness.

I saw gratitude.

I saw optimism.

All I saw was goodbye balls.

Hi, Chester. How's everything going? You're late.

Your whole class has been up here yelling at me.

Get here on time.

Hello, Chester. Why are you being so nice to her? She's late, too,

Chester. She's late, but it looks good. You're just late.

Good to see you. All right, thank you.

Don't just listen in for my name.

Listen, before you go, come into the office. I have those pamphlets you

about tenants' rights. Oh, that's right.

Hey, Chester, you got a ball?

Dang.

Chester.

Is that all you've got?

Tenants' rights pamphlets. Tenants' rights pamphlets. All right. Here we go.

Tony, how do you ever find anything in here?

Claire, what's a mess to you is ordered to me. Pick any subject. Any subject.

Field trips.

Good choice.

Pick a year.

1983. No problem. New York or New Jersey? New Jersey.

There you go.

Well, that doesn't mean anything.

You just got lucky, that's all. You think I was lucky? Yes. You really do?

I'll make it harder. Okay. Watch this, okay? Go ahead.

Daycare expenses. Daycare expenses.

1981. June 1981.

June 1981.

You think I'm going to fail on this, don't you? June 1981.

No problem. Check that out.

June 1981.

Tony, are you crazy? Sure I'm crazy. That's why I'm the boss here.

Hey, I'm interested in arts and crafts, but I don't know what to take.

Well, we have pottery.

Who teaches it? Mr. Edelman.

Well, then there's oil painting. Who teaches that?

Mr. Berkus.

Well, there's flower arranging.

Who teaches that?

Miss Engstrom.

I'll take it.

Hey, wait a minute.

What do you teach?

I do legal counseling.

And I'm married.

I'll stick with Miss Engstrom.

I'll see you later, Tony. I'll see you, Claire.

I have 30 seconds till my next session. I need a fix.

Well, bring it over here.

I've got a feeling the psychologist is having a very rough morning. Very rough.

I had four sessions in a row.

Oh, that deserves a kiss.

I just wanted to see the man I love. Oh, that deserves another kiss.

Have you any idea how rough a day I've had today?

Say no more. I hear you.

Will that do you till lunch?

One more little one will do.

I'll see you at the usual place? Yes, you will. You bring the tablecloth. I'll

bring the food. I'll be there.

Mr. Castillo?

Yeah. Come here, please.

Theo, what's going on?

I was outside playing ball, and I saw two kids beating him up.

You okay?

You look a little banged up.

He won't talk.

You know what, Theo?

I think your father should take a look at this. Why don't you get him? I'll go

get him.

Hey,

Chester, give me the first aid kit, please.

I haven't seen this one before.

No, huh?

What's your name, son?

You knew around here?

Maybe he can't hear.

Oh, no, I think he heard that.

Maybe he can't talk.

I can talk.

Well, then why don't you tell us your name?

I mean, at least look at me.

Okay? If you're going to look over there, I'm going to go over there.

Oh, come on, I'm not that ugly now.

Very bad.

Hey, Cliff. Hey.

Hi, son.

Want to take a look at it?

He's not very talkative. All right, come on around. Of course you wouldn't be

talkative if some people beat you up, man.

I remember guys in the neighborhood I was in when I was small used to beat me

until I developed a thing called the stare.

And it never fooled anybody.

That's when he invented something called the run.

And that worked better than the stare.

Well, I'll tell you something. Mr.

Castillo is a very nice person to know. You ought to make him your friend. Not

because big guys will jump on you and beat you up, but because he's in charge

the ping -pong table.

And if you want a ping -pong table, see, and he's your buddy, you get up there

and you say, Mr. Castillo, can I have a ping -pong table? And he'll just bump

people right off so you can get in there. You understand?

You like ping -pong?

You like basketball?

Cards?

Public speaking!

Oh, boy.

Well, no charge for that.

Thank you.

Thank you, Cliff.

Uh -huh.

I don't think you should have done that.

Because you're looking at one of the great chess players of all time.

Unbeaten. In fact, I'm so confident, I'm going to sit down and let you make the

first move.

Interesting move.

Now you want to play chess?

All right.

You got it.

You make the first move.

Yeah. Now, you don't have too much to say now, son.

But before this game is over, you're going to be saying things like, Uncle,

Mercy, I give up, and whoa, check out that move.

You talk a lot.

Well,

you don't give me much choice.

You're not exactly a motor mouth, you know.

I only talk when I have something to say.

Yeah, but I like to know the names of the people I've beaten, Chet.

And I'm not even asking for your last name.

I'm only asking for your first.

Checkmate.

The one word I didn't want to hear you say.

Checkmate. I really don't believe you did that.

So in spite of what anyone says, you are not eating for two people.

No, no, no, no, no, no. You are eating for only one person. Please, I don't

what you feel like. When you sit down at breakfast, you are not to eat a seven

-course meal thinking that you're doing a wonderful job for that child.

All right, now, fine, I have a few minutes left.

Any questions?

Yes. Dr. Huxtable, this is my first baby, and I've talked to women in the

who've had natural childbirth. Yes. I hear scary things.

How intense will the pain be during the delivery?

It depends. For some people, some women, it's... And then others, it's like... I

don't know.

All I can say is that you ought not think of it as pain, but more

like... An uncomfortable contraction.

Mrs. Mitchell, you have something to say?

Doctor, I've given birth to two children, and what I had was pain.

But I think that when you're talking to Mrs. Rodriguez, we want you to be more

of a positive influence on her. Doctor, I know you've delivered over 50 million

babies, but in my case, two out of two times, it felt like somebody tried to

my... I understand, yes.

I have a question, Doctor.

I'm dreaming more than ever. Is that normal?

Sure. Yes, but my dreams are getting so strange, because, like, the other night

I jumped that I was an engineer on a train, and I looked out and I saw my

husband tied to the tracks.

So I grab the handbrake, but I pull it.

And it broke off.

I think that this form of

subconscious resentment towards the husband is quite...

I'm glad you said that, Dr. Huxtable, because last week I dreamt my husband

I were in our apartment. Well, he gave me flowers, he cooked me dinner, and

King Kong climbed up the side of the building, reached in, grabbed my

and dropped him.

What were you? Last night I had a dream about my husband. Mrs. Mitchell, Mrs.

Mitchell.

I think that's all for destroying the husband.

No. I want to thank all of you for the food that you brought for my family and

me. You're welcome. You all take care of yourselves. We'll see you in two weeks.

Thank you. Thank you.

And, Doctor, please be on time next time. Or else you'll give me pain. I

that.

Hey. I'm fine.

When you were carrying, did you have any dreams about me?

Once I did. Really?

You know that machine in the junkyard that crushes the cars like this?

Was I in the car?

Yeah,

come on, let's go, dear.

Yeah, well, I just listened for my name.

Lunch is being served.

Tony,

if we were married, you'd think we'd still do that.

Of course we would.

This happens to be my favorite part of every day. Mine too.

Yeah, that's why you got the peas burger deluxe and I got the roast beef.

Selena, heads up!

Sorry.

Tony, is there anyone around us?

Not that I can see.

Do you believe it? The only chance we have today to get together, these two

to find us and come in and bother us. Well, we're on our way out. But I just

wanted to say that, Selena, you're a beautiful person to sit here in the park

and have lunch with a man who blew $2 .19 on you.

$2 .59, I think. Oh, I beg your pardon.

Now, Serena, if you have any bravery at all, you will leave this man and come to

our house because the wonderful ladies that I had the meeting with today cooked

some food for me. I have from Mrs.

Scotty some linguine and cheese and veal. I have from Mrs. Mitchell some red

beans and rice and from Mrs. Ortega, rice y con zapatos.

Wait, wait, wait.

Resay. Resay. What is resay? Rice.

Resay.

Resay with corn zapatos. Y con zapatos. Do you know what you're eating?

No. Rice with shoes.

Arroz con garbanzos. Arroz con garbanzos.

Right. I'm going to eat it.

You know something?

You two are really the greatest people.

And I want you both to know something.

We appreciate all the work you do with them.

Well, if we just believe, take a little out, put a lot back in. Yeah.

Take care. Okay.

Let's eat up.

Tony, next time we eat at this restaurant, do you think you could get

booth? Oh, yeah, you bet. I got connections.

Excuse me.

Are you Mr. Castillo?

Yes, I am.

The man at the desk said I'd find you out here. I'm Sonia Teron, Enrique's

mother. Enrique? Who's that?

Small boy, curly hair.

You fixed his hand today.

Of course. Please, please, sit down.

Oh, I don't want to interrupt your lunch. Oh, no, no, no. Please, please

down. This is my good friend, Selena Cruz.

She's a counselor at the center.

Nice to meet you.

Enrique called me today from your center.

He was afraid to come home because he'd been in a fight.

Thank you for everything you've done. I really haven't done anything at all. As

a matter of fact, Enrique wouldn't even speak to me. If you hadn't shown up

today, I wouldn't even know his name.

Oh, you should feel flattered he stayed here so long. It means he likes you.

Well, if he likes me, how come he doesn't speak to me?

He's been that way ever since his father died.

He was a policeman.

He was killed in the line of duty five years ago. And the man who shot him was

released from prison a year ago.

Well, ever since that time, Enrique finds it hard to talk to strangers.

I understand.

Don't let my son fool you. At home, he's like this.

No.

Do you know where he is? No, I don't, but I'll find him for you.

No, no, you stay. Finish your lunch. I'll find him. Well, I'm glad to have

you. You know, you have a very, very special boy, and you tell Enrique any

he wants to come to the center, he's welcome.

I will.

Bye -bye. Bye -bye.

What a nice woman.

Oh, yeah, she is. Hey, listen.

We gotta get to this cheeseburger deluxe, man. That cost me a lot of

Well, okay. And you didn't even offer me a french fry. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Uh -oh.

I think we're being watched.

Oh.

Oh, you're gonna get it.

Your mother was here looking for you.

I know.

Enrique, come on!

Well, I hope I see you again.

Maybe you will, maybe you won't.

So long, Enrique.

My friends call me Papa.

You are having linguine with veal mixed with arroz con garbanzos mixed with

German chocolate cake.

I can handle it. Do you remember what you said about the center today?

Yes. Well, darling, I think that you are putting in a little bit more than

you're taking out.

Listen, when those ladies next week ask me how was it, I have to tell them how

it was.

What's wrong with them? Can't they see?

Dad, we both have to ask you something, and I think Denise should go first. Uh

-uh, Vanessa, you're going first.

Well, it really doesn't make any difference who goes first, does it?

it does. It's known in this house that whoever goes first gets turned down.

Well, that's not altogether true.

Now, what is it?

Daddy, can I? Yes.

until you're done eating.

Okay.

Dad, can I... No, no.

Come on. Every time somebody... You know what? I did not have children so you

all could change my name to Dad Can I.

You know, the beauty of living with you all is late at night to go down the

hallway, open the door to your bedroom, see the lights, fall on your faces and I

smile. You know why?

Not because you're beautiful, but because nobody's begging.

Now, what is it you want to beg for?

Well, Dad, I saw those basketballs at the community center.

Can I give them my new one?

I'm sorry.

Sit down.

Are you hungry?

No.

Okay.

Cliff. Yeah.

How old were you when your father stopped kissing you?

How old am I now?

I get a little embarrassed, you know, but I think deep down inside, we all

love it.

I'll tell you one thing.

I'd rather kiss my wife.

Thank you.

The Cosby Show is videotaped in front of a live studio audience.