Original subtitles

Calling all partners!

Calling all new law partners!

Come on down and get your breakfast!

I'm not a partner yet.

But you will be after this morning, and that's why you should have a good hearty

breakfast. Look, I'm going to get a cup of coffee. I'm just a little bit too

nervous to eat.

Hey, you have been with this firm for seven years.

You are the best lawyer they have ever seen. You have brought in top -notch

clients. On top of that, you have raised five children and a very

homely husband.

because everything hinges on this one interview with this man I've never even

met. You are charming.

You are beautiful.

You are intelligent.

And you are, because I know, ruthless.

And you're going to blow this man away.

Oh, come on, Cliff. He's not exactly the kind of man you blow away. He's the

founding partner of this firm, I keep trying to tell you.

But can he do his hair and makeup in seven minutes?

I'm going to get dressed.

Mom, you... No, no, no, no, no. You take it up with your father.

Dad, you better go check on Rudy.

What's the matter with her? I think she's sick.

How do you know?

Well, you know how she wakes me up every morning? Yeah. Well, when I pushed her

away, she felt kind of warm.

Okay, I'll go up and check on her. Dad, could I sleep in Denise's room tonight?

I really don't think that's necessary, honey. Well, then could I wear one of

your masks?

Before you start worrying about whether you're going to catch anything, let's

find out if she's really sick.

Is that okay?

Okay, but I know she is.

Oh, well, have you written a prescription for her yet?

Well, no, I'm waiting for a second opinion.

Hi,

Pumpkin, what's wrong?

Well, now, where does it hurt?

All over.

Bobo's sick, too.

Oh.

Well, where does Bobo hurt?

His throat.

His throat hurts. Okay. Well, no, no, no, no. I'll look at Bobo later. You

over this way, son. That's fine.

Now, just relax.

Does that hurt?

No. Good.

How about up here?

when you swallow.

Yes. Then let's open up a little bit there.

You can open bigger than that.

Now!

I can see your feet!

Okay. Uh, could Vanessa fit?

Uh, yeah.

Well, did you check her glands?

Well, yes, they're just slightly swollen. Is there any swelling?

Well, just a little. Did you check her throat?

She's just irritated.

Oh, my gosh, we should call a doctor.

He has to take Bobo's first.

Cliff, take the bear's temperature, please.

Okay. All right, Bobo, you just put this under your tongue and don't bite down.

She obviously can't go to school and I have to go to this interview. I guess I

better call Mrs. Davis. No, we don't need Mrs.

Davis, see?

I don't go to work until 1.

By that time, you're back from your job. When the children are sick, you don't

cater to them the way I do.

I mean, a mother's more understanding. If I hadn't come in here, you wouldn't

taking Bobo's temperature.

Bobo does not have a pulse.

What's Bobo's temperature?

Zero. Well, which is just above normal for a bear this size. Now,

Bobo, I want you to stay warm.

At least a week.

What?

Where are you going dressed like that?

To school.

Is it scarecrow day?

We're having a flop rally.

Everyone's going to be dressed like that. Didn't you ever do that? Only in

medical school, but that was because we were so tired we didn't know what we

were putting on.

No, it is not okay, but if everyone else is not okay, then it's okay.

See you later.

Yeah.

I'm late. I need you to sign my history paper.

Okay. Now, you do this all the time.

You give me the paper, and then you put your hand over whatever is... Hey, I

can't see what it is, son. So take your hand off. Okay.

B plus?

I know what you're thinking, Dad.

I asked the teacher. It's not a mistake.

It's a B plus.

I took your advice.

While I was writing, no TV, no music, no food.

I just sat at my desk and did it. I'm proud of you, son.

An A would have been better, right?

An A is just a grade. The fact that you applied yourself is what's important.

Thanks, Dad.

Oh, thank you.

Cliff.

Did you see the B plus? Yes, I did. Now, here is the list. Make sure she stays

in the bed. Give her lots of liquids and aspirin every four hours.

I don't believe you. You are the only woman who went to law school and got a

degree in medicine.

I'll try to keep this meeting as brief as possible. Yeah. If the temperature

shoots up, call me. All right. Hey.

Yes. You look nice.

Thank you.

Hey. Yeah.

going to celebrate by taking out the new partner.

Okay? Okay. Wish me luck.

Good luck.

I have a wife

who is about to become a partner in one of the most prestigious law firms in the

country.

A son who got a B plus on a book report and said it was because

he believes now that he should apply himself.

I'm in seventh heaven.

and sneeze, you'll have to hold on to your bed, Jack.

The doctor said I have germs.

What kind do I have?

Oh, yeah, well, see, you have the tryptophanesis.

Tryptophanesis? See, the tryps, as they like to call themselves, they hang

around water fountains and glasses and things like that, and they just keep

saying, hey, where's the party?

You just have to just get inside of a young body and just party.

Why me?

Well, they chose you because you're young and you're cute.

And they go inside your body and they say, hmm, this is a lovely place to

And they start to move around all fast, you know. This is a hot party.

bumped into the corpuscles and they did the boogie down with... How

do I get rid of them?

You drink a lot of liquids, see?

A lot of liquids go in your body and that cools you down. Well, trips, you

they're out and they say, whoa, it's getting chilly in here, isn't it?

And that slows them down a little bit. They don't care for that too much. You

understand?

And then you take some...

to a tipsy corner man that is just like beats to a little girl I know named

Rudy Huxtable.

What? Yeah.

And if you really want to get him, you take and you gargle.

See, you take the stuff and you gargle. Now, when you say... That causes a

vibration. It's like an earthquake.

Now you got the tipsy corner man that...

Yeah. Yeah.

What's the matter?

Mommy crushes them.

Okay. Three chewable aspirin crushed.

Just like Mommy would crush them.

Walking like Mommy.

What's the matter? Mommy puts orange juice in them.

Mommy putting orange juice in and walking like Mommy.

in the crushed aspirin, staring and smiling just like Mommy.

Okay. Coming up next.

Mommy does an airplane.

What do you want? You want a single engine or a jet?

Single engine.

Okay. Coming up.

Open up, open up.

Are you sure everything is okay?

Are you sure?

All right, I'll be home as soon... Bye.

Huxtable? Yes, sir. Oh, thanks.

Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you. Sorry to be late. I had to say a quick word of

hello to Barney, the elevator operator.

Old friend of mine. Known him for well over 20 years.

You nervous?

A little. I've been checking your record.

You're a good lawyer.

Thank you.

Did you have breakfast this morning?

No, I didn't. Never skip breakfast. Most important meal of the day.

I always have the same thing, a bowl of oatmeal, a splash of milk, a drop of

honey, two eggs poached, bacon crisp, and fried toast.

And a martini.

Auerbach says that you handled yourself well in court.

I'm glad Mr. Auerbach has noticed.

Auerbach's a good kid.

Charlie Patterson and I brought him in.

Mr. Patterson retired before... Charlie Patterson introduced me to my

haberdasher, Joe Drucker.

Joe is gone now. He's passed on.

Joe sold me this tie.

Tie? Oh, they don't make ties like this anymore. Feel it.

Come on, feel it.

You know what you're feeling?

Filk. Quality.

You can't beat quality when it comes to clothes or lawyers.

This tie will never go out of style. Goes with everything.

Mr. Halifax, Mr.

Auerbach and I have worked very closely... You skip lunch, too?

Uh, no, not if I can help it. I always have the same thing for lunch. A bowl of

mushroom barley, a heel of fried bread toasted, a garden salad, and a martini.

I watch everything.

Where's Mommy?

Mom called, said she'd be a little late.

Because this is one floor above Dad's office, so you'll be closer to me.

Why do I have to stay on the couch? Couch?

Couch? This is not a couch.

Yes, it is. This is a super -duper get -well island, you see. This whole thing

here. And on the super -duper island, you have your own telephone, and now

you're going to have your little books to mark in.

Do your letters and numbers, all right? This is all to help you feel better.

I feel better now.

This is the telephone. If you want to reach Daddy, you dial... 331. And that's

all you dial.

The last time you dialed a lot of numbers, you called the Honduras.

Stay on the island.

Don't get off of it, all right?

Get back in there. Those fish are going to bite your toes off.

Not bite my toes.

And every Wednesday, I have my hair cut.

Every other month, I have my watch cleaned.

and once each week I send my hats out to people out. Mr. Halifax, if you

wouldn't mind, I need to make a phone call.

Oh, go right ahead. It's a personal call.

Oh, that's all right.

I don't make many personal calls myself.

Hi,

Rudy. It's Mommy.

How are you feeling?

Good.

Your father put you on an island?

Of course you can get off if you have to use the bathroom.

No, honey, I can't come home right now. But as soon as I can.

Yes, yes, I will read to you in Bobo.

I love you, too.

Bye -bye.

That's my little girl. She's at home sick, and I left my husband in charge.

I was married once myself.

A remarkable woman. She left me.

We were married for two wonderful weeks.

I came home from court one day, all the furniture was gone.

Nothing there but a note.

I bear you no grudge. Love, Sylvia.

Mr. Halifax, at the risk of sounding rude, how much longer do you think this

interview will take?

Oh, we'll take all the time necessary. You see, I am a good attorney, and my

record with the firm speaks for itself, but I'm also a mother.

And right now, I'm a little bit worried about my daughter.

Does the child get enough fiber?

Every night, before I go to sleep, I have a glass of milk with a shot of

Dramboy, a big bowl of brand and a martini.

Do you know what brand does for you? Well, I think I have a pretty good idea.

Oh, brand is wonderful.

I eat that bowl of brand at night and in the morning I leap out of bed and say,

thank you, brand.

Mr. Yamato?

Mr. Yamato?

Okay. See, Doctor, every time we talk about what's going to happen in the

delivery room, he passes out.

How long has this been going on? Ever since he saw the childbirth film in

Now, all you have to do is mention the film, and he's gone.

Fine, I'm fine. Let me up. You fainted, honey.

Just a little. I'm fine now.

Take it easy. Come on. Would you like some water?

Oh, no, thank you. All right, well, just have a sit down there.

So, where were we?

Well, you were telling me how you were looking forward to being in the delivery

room with your wife.

Absolutely. I want to be there to support Janet. Now, when you saw the

Doctor. I'm sorry.

Okay,

Mr. Guimara, just take it easy. I have to be there to count and help Janet with

her breathing. And that's wonderful.

But... I want you to know that when a woman is in transition, there's an

incredible change.

This woman will have the strength of ten men.

And this lovely person that you know may call you names that you've never heard

before.

Is that it? Yes. Well, what did they tell you after you saw the film?

Okay, just put your head down here between... Just a minute, please.

Hello? Yeah, Rudy?

No, not now. No, dear, you cannot have any ice cream.

No, you stay on the island, please.

And yes, do your book.

Now, no matter what happens, stay on the island.

Uh, Mr. Yamato, I was wondering...

Are you aware that an awful lot of fathers do mental coaching?

Mental coaching? From the lobby.

You see, there are many husbands who stay in the lobby and they mentally

their wives from back there while their wives are in the delivery room going

through the labor, you see.

Labor? Labor.

I'm sorry, I didn't say kill.

Well,

look, when he goes out like this, how long does he stay out?

Fifteen, thirty seconds at the most.

Mr. Yamato, you're going into the delivery room.

We're going to get a chair for you.

I'll be there.

You know, there are times when men who are nervous like this, they get into

delivery room, And all of a sudden, they become a different person altogether.

Do you think that'll happen with Steve?

No.

Did your daddy give you your ass?

Yes. Did he do the airplane?

He did everything.

Oh, that's great.

Hey, howdy, partner!

I don't know that yet, Cliff.

Well, what did Mr. Halifax say?

Everything.

He talked and talked and talked till he fell asleep.

So what did you do?

Oh, I started to wake him up and ask him if I was a partner, but that didn't

seem right.

So I just left because I knew Rudy was home alone.

Are you kidding me? She's not home alone. The child is just above. I can

hole and touch it. I did everything you wanted me to do. Well, I knew you did

everything, but I wanted it done by me.

Come on, Rudy, I'm taking you up to your room. Say goodbye to your island.

Goodbye, fishy.

What about the partnership?

Dr. Huxtable, Mr. Arbuck?

Okay, put him on.

Mr. Halifax?

Yeah, how are you, sir?

This is Dr. Huxtable.

Well, she's... What?

No, I've not been to that restaurant.

Thin slice of veal, potato, and a martini.

No, I think he was way before my wife's time.

Yeah, I'll let you talk to her right now. Sir?

Yeah. Oh, bow ties are wonderful.

You're a partner.

You're a partner.

You're a partner.

And I'm taking the partner out, and we're going to celebrate tomorrow night.

you are not. No, you are not, because the partner is taking you out, and we're

going to celebrate with dinner and dance.

All right, Miss Money.

What about... Tito Puente?

You got it. We'll see him.

This show is taped in front of a live studio audience.