Original subtitles

He said, Mom, dear, not Dad.

That's why they have different names for us. So they can get who they want.

But I'm in the middle of doing our books.

I'll do them for you.

You? You hate doing books.

When I see the joy you get from doing them, it makes me jealous and I want to

books of my own.

Mom!

Claire!

Claire!

Do you want me to destroy them now?

Rudy? Yes?

This is your father talking to you.

like a person with no children.

Listen.

It's quiet.

Dad has spoken.

There will be peace in the valley.

I don't think you have to go.

What if you're wrong?

Then the three of us will soon find out, won't we?

Now, you are bothering the Princess Vanessa, aren't you?

No, Daddy. Is it your voice that I hear that's saying, Vanessa?

Is it your throat that's allowing your voice to say,

Is it your brain that tells your throat to let the voice say, Vanessa?

Yes. Then you are bothering Vanessa.

No, Daddy, she's bothering me.

How? By not answering when I say Vanessa.

Daddy, I'm trying to do my homework and she's bothering me. I understand that.

Now, what I'm going to do is separate the two of you and you will have the

To yourself. Do you understand what I'm saying? Okay?

Now, listen to me. You know how much you love to play

in Mom and Dad's room, right?

Dad's got a biggie for you.

You can play in our room until Dad comes to get you, okay?

Oh, boy!

All right, now, there are certain things in there that Dad doesn't want you to

touch.

talk about two missing hours?

Well, Dad, I just want to tell you.

Tell me, even if it involves a liquor store.

Well, all this week I've been going to football tryouts, and today I found out

made the team.

See, look. Here's some of our plays.

You see, me and the guys got this idea to go to football.

You know, goof around.

Well, after the first day, Sammy and the mouse got cut.

The next day, Joel and Cockroach got bounced.

Who?

I'd be next. That's why I didn't tell you.

But they never cut me.

They kept me, Dad. I'm on the team.

Get out of here. Really?

It's a 31 sweep. I ran this in college.

Back when they didn't wear face masks.

Is that what happened to your nose?

A small price to pay for a first down.

Social care if I play. Well, now, this isn't going to interfere with your

schoolwork. Mom, I'm going to work real hard at everything.

All right.

You better do your homework.

You're right, Dad. No problem.

Happy?

Football.

Football. My son, my boy.

In the stands.

Is that your son? Yes, that's my boy.

See the one running down the field for the touchdown with the name Huxtable on

the back?

My son.

I would have done it myself, but I'm too old now.

So I pass the business on to him.

Huxtable and son.

Yes, sir.

and the athlete of the century, young Huxtable.

Sitting next to him was the athlete of the old century, old Huxtable.

My son, I'm telling you, my prayers have been answered, and the circle will

not be broken.

Now, this may be impossible, but do you think you can calm down?

Guys are dancing.

Are they? Mm -hmm.

They are, aren't they?

Yes, they are. They are dancing.

Come on.

Sit down. No, no, no, no, no. Do me a favor. Do me a favor.

Say it again. Say it. I want to see them dance.

Let them go.

Let them go. Say it.

Football.

Well, at least you could look, you know.

All right, here we go. The Groverton game, 1958.

Backfield of Harry Jefferson, Don Council, Colby Wilson, and me.

We are down by 6 .800 ,000 people in the stands.

Three seconds left to go.

That's right.

Now, when we went back to the class reunion, people didn't say to me, well,

are you doing? Your practice looks good. You look wonderful. First thing out of

their mouth was, we should have gone to you.

You know, Cliff, for the past two hours, it's been football nonstop.

Now, the boy is half mine, and I might have some plans for him myself.

Like what?

Like following my footsteps and become a lawyer.

No better way to prepare for law than football.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Time out.

What I'm saying is like me in med school.

Now, final exams, people are running up and down the hallway, jumping

out of windows, setting themselves on fire.

Oh, my goodness, I don't know what I'm going to do. Me, 2 .30 in the morning,

I'm dancing in the hallways, and I'm saying, pour it on, pour it on. Give me

tougher exams.

What? Is this the best you can hand me?

You're not scared? I said, no. They said, why? I said, football.

Cliff, I read an article about teenage boys in football.

And do you know what they said their biggest problem is?

Naughty cheerleaders on the bus.

No.

Fathers.

Surprise, surprise.

No, Cliff, I really mean it now. The fathers expect so much from their sons,

they take all the fun out of playing.

Look. I am not going to put pressure on the boy.

If he's good, great.

If he's bad, but if he quits, he's dead.

Dad. My boy.

Since you know so much about football, can you give me some pointers?

Son, I'll be happy to teach you all I know.

Yeah?

Of course, it's been a long time.

After dinner.

About the game of football.

Is Rudy coming? I haven't seen her for hours.

I left her up in the room.

Everybody in here is waiting for you. Even Vanessa said, I refuse to eat until

Rudy shows up. Good dinner, Mom.

It was delicious.

All right. Well, then, just the two of us will sit down and have a lovely

dinner. Come on.

I don't eat with Fibber.

I'll get her.

Well, Fibber will just have to eat.

How many times you were carried off the field?

Only to get your attention.

Theo, my boy, you are about to become a part of the Huxtable tradition, starting

with your great -great -grandfather, General Theo Huxtable.

Hey, my great -great -grandfather was a general?

No, that was his nickname.

How'd he get it? He gave it to himself because he was a big man.

And see, in the man that sighs in those days when he said, call me general,

everybody said, that's what's up.

So here we go.

Hey, that's real interesting.

Yeah. Tell me more about this guy. No, we don't have time for tell me more. We

have to get out there, son.

Here we go.

I'm sending you one.

Poor little thing looks so sad.

Ignore her, Mother. She's just doing it for some attention.

At least she's not biting people.

Who bit people? You. I did not.

What's this?

An arm. T -smart.

Everyone in this family has a pair of them somewhere on their body.

Huh? Ankle.

Let me see.

Well, Rudy needs some help right now, and I think I have an answer.

Uh, baby?

I was thinking, how would you feel about baking some cookies?

Nah.

How about some gingerbread?

Gingerbread? Yeah! Oh, great, great!

make this a family project. It'll be the Huxtable women baking gingerbread

together. Uh, Mom, sorry. I've got tons of homework.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Since when did you become such a great scholar?

Well, let me quote Omar Khayyam.

Cultivate the youthful mind.

And as the tree grows from the sapling, threefold it will yield its precious

fruit. Bold.

Give her a fair chance.

Mistake number two.

I could come in if you like.

Hi.

You know, Rudy, you've really got it rough.

You're the youngest in the family.

And nobody wants to play with you. They forget about you. They tease you.

And you probably wonder if there's anything worse than being five.

So why not be proud of being five, you know? Like, yay, five!

Think of all the wonderful things five -year -olds can do.

You can tie your own shoelaces.

You can dial the phone.

You can go to kindergarten.

Last year, you couldn't do any of that.

Because I was nothing.

No, you were never nothing.

You just weren't five.

Five now.

And now you can do things that you could never do before.

So what do you think about that?

Yay, five.

Yay, five.

Mommy, how old are you?

Old.

Yay, old.

All right, all you got to remember is to just keep your center of gravity low,

shoulders straight.

All right, take a shower. Okay.

Dad. Hey. You know, you really showed me a lot out there.

You've got some great moves for a guy your age.

Well, I figure I won't completely fall apart till next week sometime.

How does he look?

Yeah, your eyes.

I don't think they're going to dance for me.

I went out there with no preconceived ideas.

Do you understand?

I just wanted to see what the boy has.

The boy has nothing.

You made the team.

Claire, there's 45 people on the football team.

Only 22 of them get to play. The other 23 are to keep the bench from flying up.

We get out to the field.

The boy snatches the ball from me, runs down to the end zone, spikes the ball,

and then starts to do some kind of dance.

For 20 minutes he danced. I thought rain was going to fall.

Then the boy comes running back and he says to me, how do you like my dance for

after I score?

Boy is not going to school.

Well, he must have some skills.

I threw the ball to him.

He caught it. There you go.

No, I said, son, it's better to catch the ball before it hits your face.

Okay, so he's not a receiver.

I said, okay, punt.

He took the ball, he kicked it, the ball went...

They center the ball to him, he catches it, turns around, then he kicks the

ball.

No, no, I see you shaking your head saying football father.

And you're not one. No. Aha.

Aha, what?

One of the first signs of being a football father is saying you're not

Look, I know what a football father is, and I'm telling you that right now...

Theo is terrible.

Cliff, he's 13, and if you tell him that, it's going to destroy him.

I didn't tell him.

I'm telling you.

Is he really that bad?

Worse.

Yes, Theo, my boy.

Dad, I've been thinking about the Huxtable football tradition.

And is there any room in it for a guy who's not a star?

Sure. To be honest, Dad, I might not get much playing time at all.

Like, maybe none.

Whatever you do, Theo, we'll be sitting up in those stands cheering you on.

Thanks, Mom.

You too, Dad.

What was the question?

We'll be cheering on Mama.

Oh, I'll have your mother on my shoulders.

Dad, I've got a lot to learn, don't I?

Well, you know, you have your dance down, Pat. I mean, that's, um... You got

that covered. Now all you have to do is learn the skills that will put you into

the end zone so you can do your wonderful dance.

That could take weeks.

Years.

Years? Well, not real years. I mean, you play in the fall only.

The question that you have to ask yourself is, is it worth it? Dad, I'm

happy to be on the team.

Really? See, when we were practicing, the kids come around and watch us. But

they can't come on the field because they're not on the team.

Now, I may never make first string, but, hey, I'm on the field.

Okay.

But you better keep that bench from flying up.

serious man when that team runs out there you let that bench fly up and hit

somebody in the head i'll come down there boy and i'll mom what's he talking

about listen show mom you dance that that you you know

and I still cannot understand why they didn't go to me.

I think I can.

You're kidding. Why?

Five minutes left on the clock, and your team has the ball, and they hand it to

someone who, with head down, breaks through the line. Now, he gets hit about

four or five times, but it doesn't stop him, because the man has got some moves.

I mean, he's spinning by the tacklers and leaping over the line back.

Now, I'm not... Don't call any names.

No. I won't say who the someone is. No.

But the someone is in this room.

In this room? In this room. All right. Now, there is no one between the someone

and the goal line, and he's racing down the field. And as he's running, he turns

to see where his fiancée is sitting. He holds the ball up and waves it to her.

What a man.

As he brings the ball down, his knee comes up, knocks... the ball backwards

the hands of the Wolverton tackler who runs in the opposite direction and

scores. Now, who did that?

Toby Wilson.

He's not in this room.

Claire Huxtable.

Oh, no.

Well, I was just trying to show you that I loved you. You were just trying to

show off.

Well, it'll be a cold day the next time I wave anything at you.

Miss Payne.