Original subtitles

Vanessa, let's get ready to go.

Bye, hon.

Come on, Rudy. Hop down here.

Come

here.

We're going to be gone most of the afternoon.

I'm taking the kids for shoes.

Well, these seem to be all hopped out.

Now remember, clear the table, put the dishes in the dishwasher.

Bye -bye. Come on, kids, let's go. Bye -bye, boy.

Bye -bye.

Dad,

I'm going down to the school yard to play some three -on -three.

Yeah, well, check with me for some one -on -one right now.

You borrowed $5 from me for some pizza, said you'd pay me back today.

Oh, yeah, right.

The pizza?

Dad,

why are you laughing? I'm laughing because my foolish son, by not paying me

he said he would, is now at my mercy.

I want to show you a little chore.

Ta -da!

Clear off the table, put the dishes in the dishwasher.

Okay? And do it right.

Then can I go?

Then you can live.

Theo! Door two.

That's right.

And Theo... Theo, do me a favor.

I had a rough day yesterday.

Every child born on the face of this earth, I delivered.

I'm tired.

I want to rest.

So unless... There's a woman at the door with a child coming out of her

shoulder.

I don't want to see anybody or talk to anybody. I'm going to watch television,

take a nap.

Understood? Got it.

he couldn't come in because you were about to take a nap.

Say that again.

I told him he couldn't come in because you were about to take a nap. Who?

Grandpa. My father?

Yes, Grandpa.

him? No problem.

And you shut him out? I know, but if you wanted me to let Grandpa in, you should

have told me. You're not stupid.

You're not that stupid.

Now, what did you say to him?

I said, Grandpa, you can't come in because Dad says he's tired and he wants

take a nap.

And what did he say?

Nothing. He just stood there looking.

A lot like you look now.

No, no, no, no, no. You are going to have to get him back.

Who? Who?

Grandpa. Yeah?

running down your cheeks, I want you to ask yourself a question.

Was it worth it to try and make a fool out of my father by acting

stupid?

Now, answer the phone.

Hello? Grandpa!

Unless you want to slam it down.

No, Dad, the boy needs help.

No, I... Look, where are you?

Well, Dad, why are you staying next door to neighbors?

Dad, I'll let you in.

Okay? All right, now... No, all right. Now, come on right now. I'll see you in

second. Boy, that kitchen's gonna shine.

How is mom?

You know your mother, crazy.

Today I tried a new recipe.

Salmon souffle. I mean, it was delicious.

Your mother took one bite and threw it out.

Then she threw me out.

Well, look, you go in the kitchen, you're on mom's turf.

No pleasing that woman. When I was working, she'd say, you're never home.

that I'm cutting back, she says, don't you have someplace to go?

Way to go. Yeah. I was on the road for 11 months of the year, living in cheap

boarding houses, working fleas they died. You don't never want to go in

places. No, no. It was hard, but, uh, see, I had a mission.

Yeah. A better life for my son.

Yeah. And here you are.

Yes, sir. Doing all right.

Fine profession, beautiful home. Now, somehow, I just can't help thinking that

had a hand in all that.

Well, there's no question about it, Dad.

Then why did you lock me out?

Dad, I didn't tell the boy to lock you out. Well, yeah, but am I supposed to be

on some kind of a list?

I mean, you can't be getting all that many visitors. Now, looky here. We've

talking together now for some time, and no one's coming here to see you. It

ain't like they're just climbing into the windows of the door.

Dad, Theo's trying to get back at me for making him wash the dishes. Now, come

on. Let's watch the game. Great. All right. Heard from your oldest lady?

Yes, she called last night. Doing okay?

Four A's and a B.

Four A's and a B. All right.

Princeton. Yeah?

She like it up there?

Oh, yeah. Lots of friends. And what about your second daughter? Where's she

going to go? Denise? Well, she's talking about Princeton, Yale, Talladega, and

Howard. Has she thought about Hillman?

She hasn't mentioned Hillman.

Well, you know, I graduated from Hillman.

worked his whole life as a pullman porter, rode the line between Altoona

Schenectady, all his tips going to put me through Hillman.

You know, it's the oldest school in the state. Started out from nothing but a

field and a barn, and 20 students came to school in wagons. From the humble

beginning, that school turned out students that were welcome in the finest

graduate schools of the land.

Not sure that small and as close -knit.

Oh, well, maybe Princeton is your alma mater, but Hillman's your friend.

Dad, I graduated from Hillman.

Dad, is it okay if I take a break now?

Yeah, you've been working five minutes straight now.

You know our doorman, don't you?

Hi, Grandpa.

How are you doing? Nice seeing you again.

Now, where are you sending him?

Well, if he picks up his grades, high school.

And after that, on to Princeton.

Dad, Princeton is a fine school.

Yeah. Yeah. What's it costing you?

It's up there. And how much is up there? Ten?

A little more. A little more.

And that's for everything.

Well, you know, you have to pay for books.

You're paying $10 ,000 and you don't even get books?

What do you get?

You get to go to Princeton.

Now, what's the girl's major?

She doesn't have one.

Well, what does she do, just wander around the school?

No, Dad, she's liberal arts. I see. Now, when she graduates, what does that make

her? Well, nothing, you see.

Now, that's why she's going to college, to become nothing.

No, Dad, see, she doesn't know what she wants to be, so... Well, what happens

when she still doesn't know after four years?

Then she gets to come back home.

Now, do you understand this?

He is spending over $50 ,000 to send your sister to college for four years so

she can come home and be nothing.

You can do that at Hillman for ten.

And they give you books.

Go to the kitchen.

Why? Because I don't want to see your face.

Her son is lost as mine.

People saying, did you hear about the great Dr.

Heathcliff Huxtable? Oh, Hillman's not fancy enough for his daughter. No, no,

sir.

Didn't you know that that man's gotten so big his own father can't even get

his house?

Why don't I talk to Denise?

Dad, what are you going to say to her?

Denise, honey, going to Hillman has been a long -standing tradition with our

family. Now it's your turn to carry on the tradition.

Now, you know, we went through this before with Sandra, remember?

And what happened?

Princeton. And a lot of crying.

Well, I'm not going to cry this time.

I don't see how you can wear these electric earmuffs and do your homework

same time.

Well, music helps me study. Well, what is it that you're studying? French

Revolution. Oh, rough times.

No headphones, then.

No head.

Come on over here. I want to talk to you.

Colleges. What colleges are you interested in?

I don't know. Princeton, Brown, Howard, Talladega. What about Hillman? Hillman?

Hillman. Hillman.

Hillman. Yes, Hillman. We are a Hillman family, dear. We go a ways back.

I know.

Your great -grandfather put your grandfather through Hillman while he was

working as a Pullman porter.

Daddy, I know the tradition.

You do?

With the money that he earned from the tips?

He was on the line from Altoona to... Huh?

Go ahead.

Schenectady. Now, there's a smile says, I know it. I got one wrong.

You don't know the tradition.

Daddy. Yeah?

Why not just go to...

Better schools? Yeah.

I mean, Hillman's okay, but, you know, it's only for the kids who couldn't

get... What? You know, no one else would take them... You're in quicksand.

Do you know that I graduated from Hillman and went on to one of

the best medical schools in the country?

Hudson?

I've never been sued.

Well, that's too bad because your grandfather wants you downstairs and

all he wants to talk about.

Just to tell him I'm busy.

I am not your secretary.

And your grandfather feels that he has something important to say to you and I

think it's right for you to go downstairs and talk to him because if

he will never go home.

Maybe he'll get tired of waiting.

My father?

My father loves to tell a story about the war and how he was in the trench

and he had his rifle sights on an enemy pillbox and that all the enemy had

to do was come out and he could pick them off right there. And then the

knowing that he was up there, decided that they would wait.

until he left.

And my father sat there with one eye closed and one eye open, never blinked,

he waited and waited and waited and waited and waited. And the enemy,

no human being on the face of this earth could wait that long, finally came out.

And Grandma shot him? No, because by that time the war was over, you see.

going down there of course you're going to hate going down there dear but you

have to make up your mind do you want him coming up here no i remember the

time he was up there he was poking through my closet why does anybody need

many pairs of shoes yeah wait a minute i said there

we go be brave

He isn't either.

His eyes are closed.

That's how he waits.

Grandpa?

Hey, baby.

Hi. Were you sleeping? No, every closed eye is not sleeping and every open eye

is not seeing.

Remember that. There's my girl, so beautiful.

Oh, and those teeth, they're getting straight every day. Thank you. Now sit

me. Cliff?

Yes, sir. Go away.

Out the back door?

Oh, well, I didn't want to bother you.

You finish your chores?

Sure. Uh -huh.

Look me in the face.

How does that look? Table.

Yeah. Dish. Okay.

Did you turn it on?

You didn't tell me to.

I didn't tell you to take the bones and the food off the plates before you put

them in the dishwasher.

No. Well, what were you planning to do?

Wash the food so we could eat it again tomorrow?

No problem, Dad. It goes down the drain.

Would you like me to put you in that dishwashing machine so you can see them

go down the drain?

You turn this machine on, now it blows up.

It's a good thing I didn't turn it on.

Oh, yeah. Now take the bones, the peas, the mashed potatoes out of there

and put them into the garbage, please.

You know, you could be here for the rest of your life.

But by the time you finish, basketball may not be a sport anymore.

I'm 20, Stu. Students came in wagons to go to school.

And from those humble beginnings, that school turned... I'm here if you need

Grandpa? I know how important this tradition stuff is to you, but I have to

choose the college that's best for me.

Well, baby, I don't want you to go to Hillman because you have to.

Don, I want you to go for the same reason I went. The same reason my whole

family went.

The same reason your daddy went.

Why was that, Daddy?

I didn't have a choice.

So why would you need a choice?

I mean, be honest, straight up. If you had to pick of any school in the

which one would you have chosen?

Hellman. Really?

Sure. Why?

Because that's where your mother was going. You see that one?

You mean it wasn't the institution?

No, my wife is an institution.

I mean, what was I supposed to do? The woman that I'm in love with is going to

go to a college where the men outnumber the women eight to one?

Hillman! Yeah.

And I'm not talking about just any old men. I'm talking about hunks. Now,

that boy, what's the name of the kid you like?

Terry Johnson?

Yeah. He would have never made the hunk list.

And I always thought it was my persuasive arguments that got you to go

Hillman. Yeah, yeah, persuasive argument. You go or you die.

No, I'm afraid that if my wife is going to go to Hillman, I was going to go to

Hillman, even if it meant making my father happy.

So romantic, Daddy. You followed Mom to Hillman? Mm -hmm. I bet she's flattered,

huh? To this day, your mother does not know why I went.

Well, you should tell her.

No. Why?

Because I'm saving it for when I really get in trouble.

I'm gonna tell Claire.

You know, maybe that's why people lock you out of there.

Nobody tells Claire ever in life. Am I understood?

Finish that again.

Okay. See, I clean up the mess. I rinse the dishes off, put the dishes back in

the dishwasher, and turn the dishwasher on.

Did you put in dishwashing soap?

Dishwashing soap.

the boys at Hilton? I never looked at the boys at Hilton.

I want you to gather your coats and go straight up to your room. You

Yes. What happened?

Rudy throws Vanessa's book out of the window.

Vanessa tries to throw Rudy out.

And the cab driver threw us all out of the car.

How are you, Claire?

I'm great, Dad.

Oh, well, you just relax because I've got a story that's gonna make your

whole... day. Do you know the reason that your husband...

graduates running around in the kitchen.

You know what? They are worse than us.

They better stop it. They won't get new shoes.

That's enough. You two, come on. Let's get upstairs.

Come on. Is it true that the guys don't remember the girls' H1 at Hillman?

Well, seven of them you really wouldn't want to bother with. What's that?

H1. All right.

To Hillman. Yes, indeed. You know, I think you got one this time. When she

out that...

She woke right up.

That's good.

You waited a long time. Yeah, you talk about waiting. It reminds me of a time

during the war.

Oh, no, I said waiting.

The enemy was there in that pillbox and I was in my trench with my sights

trained on those doors.

And you never shot him? No, because by the time they came out, the war was

Did I ever tell you that story before? No, I... I've never heard of it.