Original subtitles

Is it important?

Yes, Dad.

How important is it?

An eight. Is it a child's eight or an adult's eight?

I don't know. I've never been an adult.

Vanessa, I just finished working 18 hours in the hospital. I delivered over

,000 babies.

And if this is not really, really important, I'm going to be really,

angry.

Dad, I don't know what to do. If I tell you when it's not important, you'll be

angry with me. If I don't tell you when it is important, you'll be angry with

me. Whatever, come downstairs.

To punish me.

Dad. Now, what is it?

Rudy's home.

Yes. The one you bought for because she ate all her peas?

Yeah. Now, don't think I'll complain because I eat all my peas so you don't

me a thing.

Is this about buying you something?

No. It's about Rudy's goldfish.

What about Rudy's goldfish?

He's dead.

Are you sure the thing is dead?

Our fish are supposed to float on their backs.

And Rudy doesn't know it yet? She's feeding him.

And he's not eating.

Rudy's goldfish is dead.

Well, how is she taking it?

She doesn't know yet.

Daddy is going to break it to her, and I'm going to watch.

Okay, well, I'll tell you my news later.

Hi, Mom.

Theo! Your mom was fantastic at work today. Great, Mama.

What's for dinner?

Rudy Lamont. I mean, I took her into the pet store. We came in front of this

huge tank, fish tank. You understand?

She walked right up to it, and she said, I want that one.

The man took the net, went in, caught a fish, put it in the bag.

She said, that's not him.

10 ,000 fish.

All look the same in that tank.

My daughter says, that's not him.

She said, there he is.

The man goes in again, pulls the fish out. She says, that's not him.

Finally, after about 20 minutes, the man starts to look at me.

She says, that's not him. I said, that's not him.

What do you want me to say?

So finally, the man steps down, hands Rudy the net.

Rudy climbs up on a crate, holds...

doesn't touch the water.

Lamont jumps up.

She shows him to the assistant.

That's him.

I said to the man, it was all the time.

I have never known her to have a relationship or be this close to anyone

her life.

Daddy? Yes, dear?

Are you stalling?

That was a very touching story.

Yes, Daddy.

A long, touching story.

Hi, Rude. What you doing?

How's everything?

Lamont has gone away.

No, he hasn't.

He's right here.

Well, yes, and no.

You see, goldfish are not very strong, and sometimes, without warning, they

stop doing things forever.

Do you understand?

Uh -huh. What am I saying?

I don't know.

Dad, let me try.

Hey, what's going on?

a body. He is funny stories. He's nibbling food. He's swimming through the

lighthouse.

Lamont will always be with us.

Oh, well, yeah.

Cannot flush the body.

You think we could do something to cheer her up?

Why don't we fix her favorite dinner?

Now, that's a great idea.

Hot dogs.

That's your favorite dinner.

How about your famous scrambled eggs?

No, that's what we'll do for her. What else do you think we could do?

She's always wanted a dog.

No, you wanted a dog.

thing happened for me at work today.

Really? Tell me about it. Oh, you dear girl. Oh, Mom, that's for me.

Here we go.

Dad's famous eggs.

It's a good thing he didn't serve fish tonight.

Hey, unless you're planning on eating that basketball, get it off the table.

What's the matter with you?

All right, now, look.

Honey, please, come on. You've got to eat.

I made these special for you. Just take them. Can I leave the table?

Take a little bite.

I'm too sad to eat. No, that's all right, honey. Come on. We'll go up.

you left some ketchup in the bottle you guys just don't even

seem to care about your sister

You guys will come to the funeral? Yes.

You'll do whatever I ask you to? Yes.

You'll wear funeral clothing?

Hello, Reverend?

Yes.

Just a religious question.

That's all right. It'll keep if you're busy.

It's not that important.

Yeah, sure, Mom. I'll call you tomorrow. Bye.

Rudy okay?

She'll be all right.

Okay.

Tell me about your day. My day?

The exciting news.

Forget about that.

Okay. Well, I know what that means. Filing of the nails means dead husband

the floor.

I tried to talk to everybody in this family, and nobody wanted to listen.

I even called my mother.

It's that bad, huh?

I'm going to sit in this chair.

I'm not moving out of this chair, and I'm going to listen.

Do you promise?

I swear.

I'm not getting out of this chair.

Last week, I was reading the Burley Construction Contract.

Burley Construction Contract. I know it well.

Cliff. Yeah. Shut up and listen.

Now, nobody else in the office... I wanted to touch it because everybody

it was a hopeless case, right? But I found this tiny loophole that...

Go ahead.

Go ahead. That was your beeper. I know. I heard it.

Loophole. Go ahead.

Well, I found this loophole that saved the client over $10 ,000 and everybody

the office got so excited.

Even Mr. Greenbrook Sr.

Uh -oh. Came over to shake my hand.

Go ahead. Mr. Greenbrook Sr.

came... Don't you think you better make that call?

No, because if it's an emergency, see, they just give one long beep. Go ahead.

Mr. Greenbrook Sr.

came out of the office.

Mr. Greenbrook Sr. came out of the office to shake my hand, and then...

Okay. Uh, go ahead.

Go ahead, Mr. Greenbrook.

Yes, this is Dr. Huxtable.

Mrs. David left for the hospital.

Well, how far apart are they?

No, no, not the labor pains. The house to the hospital.

Okay, fine.

Well, just call the hospital and tell them that I'll be there as soon as I

Thank you. Bye -bye.

Came out of the office and... And I think you better go.

No, no, I really don't have to go. I want to hear this. Honest to goodness,

honey, please.

That Mrs.

Davis, this is her ninth child.

Please, believe me. She doesn't need me. I'm just a frill.

Now, now, come on. Tell me, please. Came out of the office.

And shook my hand. Shook your hand. And said congratulations.

Congratulations.

And...

It is the saddest story I've ever heard in my life.

Oh, come in.

Dad? Yeah.

I told Rudy about the funeral. She wants to know where Lamar's going to end up.

In heaven.

Okay.

Yeah, we're giving Lamar a little send -off in the powder room.

Well, I thought it would be nice. Hello!

Dad? Yeah? She wants to know where Lamont's going to end up, really.

In the river.

Oh, yeah.

What's going on? I just thought it'd be nice to have a little funeral for

Lamont. Anyway, congratulations, because heaven knows when that man will come

out of that office again. You understand?

Now, is this the darkest thing that you have in that closet?

Why? For the funeral.

We are dressing.

Who's put a funeral for Lamont?

I love living here.

Coming in third after your patience and a dead goldfish.

Hey, Claire.

The fish goes.

You move to number two.

Calling all mourners?

want me to call the Reverend again.

Listen, I don't have anything else black.

Go in and get your sister ready, please.

You're dead. Matchbox for the coffin.

He's too big.

He won't fit in that.

Well, can't we bend him?

Rudy comes out.

Go in and get the fish.

All right.

Calling all mourners.

Do it.

Do you like it?

Wear it when I'm dead.

Daddy, Harvey's coming to pick me up in about five minutes, so can we just move

it along?

Move it along. This is not a Hollywood funeral.

Now, take... The sunglasses off.

Put the sunglasses back on.

I feel a little overdressed for the powder room. No, you look just

fine. No jewelry.

Okay,

let's proceed with the funeral, please.

I'll close his eyes for you.

We are gathered here for this special occasion.

To say goodbye to Lamont.

Now, gather around, please.

We're here to say goodbye.

You see, we're having a funeral for your friend.

I want to watch TV now.

Me too.

Nobody is going to watch TV until the funeral is over. Is that clear?

If she doesn't want the funeral, maybe we shouldn't have it.

We got dressed up.

Say goodbye to Lamont. Well, Dad, he didn't say goodbye to us.

You're going to come back here.

They're going to... This is finished.

What do you mean, finished?

The party is over.

This is not a party. This is a funeral for Lamont.

The only one who wants this funeral is you. You have forced this on all of us.

forced it on all of us. Yes.

And you love this.

This makes you very happy, does it?

husband has gone crazy but honey it's ridiculous what is ridiculous look at

standing there dressed and holding the over the and he was a good fish

by yourself.