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1
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Making your way in the world today takes
everything you've got Taking a
2
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:28,300
break from all your worries sure would
help a lot Wouldn't you like to
3
00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:29,300
get away?
4
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:37,600
Sometimes you want to go where everybody
knows your name.
5
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,720
And they're always glad you came.
6
00:00:44,220 --> 00:00:48,920
You want to be where you can see our
troubles are all the same.
7
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:53,300
You want to be where everybody knows
your name.
8
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,740
Who's ready for Earthworld?
9
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,100
Mom, I can't find my crossbody bag.
Where's...
10
00:01:02,570 --> 00:01:05,310
Crossbody bag. On you, it's a fanny pack
up higher. Please, Beth, you're
11
00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:06,850
driving. I'm low on wanting to drive.
12
00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:09,750
Would one of you mind making me a quick
sandwich? You know, theme park food
13
00:01:09,750 --> 00:01:11,110
gives me interesting stool.
14
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Read the room.
15
00:01:12,470 --> 00:01:15,130
We're not going. Look at us. No, you
gotta come.
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It's an absolute train wreck. This dude,
he's never been to Earth, but he loves
17
00:01:19,310 --> 00:01:22,550
it, and he sucks at making theme parks.
We said fucking no!
18
00:01:22,910 --> 00:01:24,570
All right, fine.
19
00:01:25,050 --> 00:01:27,370
But nobody wants to see a Beth's
adventure.
20
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:34,500
I thought cloning was supposed to make
us happy. I hate my life. And I know you
21
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:35,780
have to hate yours.
22
00:01:36,060 --> 00:01:38,840
Hey! Sorry, I started drinking in the
car.
23
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,499
Where are we miserable?
24
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:16,499
It's not Jerry.
25
00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:20,160
Yeah, it could be worse. I mean, we
could have married Pep Rosenfeld.
26
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,000
Oh, my God, I forgot about him.
27
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:24,800
Oh, he died in that thing, right? 9 -11,
yeah.
28
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:30,180
We can't just put it all on Dad, right?
Oh, we're done with that guy. I had a
29
00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:31,180
bad dad.
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00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:35,360
Shut up. Write a book about it. I'm just
so tired of all the shit we have to do
31
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:39,680
to live. You abandoned all your shit.
There is so much more shit in space.
32
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,800
When was the last time we were happy?
33
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:43,480
Truly happy.
34
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:45,570
Felt pretty good when we were kids.
35
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,790
Oh my God, I wish I could be young
again.
36
00:02:48,030 --> 00:02:50,110
That kind of wish never goes the way you
want.
37
00:02:50,610 --> 00:02:56,670
That being said, why do you have a de
-aging machine?
38
00:02:57,050 --> 00:03:00,830
When I'm bringing in bounties, I change
them into kids. This car fits 10 kids if
39
00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:02,230
you pack them right. Sounds efficient.
40
00:03:02,630 --> 00:03:05,450
Is that worth dealing with 10 kids?
41
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,150
Oh no, I drug them too.
42
00:03:07,370 --> 00:03:10,190
Wait, will my clothes be super huge or?
Oh no, no, no, no.
43
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:13,170
Technology this advanced is
indistinguishable from magic.
44
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:26,160
My skin.
45
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:28,280
I can see everything.
46
00:03:28,820 --> 00:03:30,900
My mouth is so clean.
47
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,500
Whoa, my knuckles work. No pain.
48
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:36,060
You look like shit.
49
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:37,960
Wait, no. Come back here.
50
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,420
Get ready. Earth World is a mess.
51
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:41,720
No creative consistency.
52
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,520
Last time I was here, they had a whole
ride dedicated to Pol Pot. There's a non
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00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:46,780
-zero chance you'll lose an eye.
54
00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:50,020
Oh, that wasn't the vibe I got from the
waivers.
55
00:03:50,340 --> 00:03:52,100
Waivers? Yeah, from the website.
56
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,500
Website?
57
00:03:56,940 --> 00:04:01,000
Dr. Dogballs. What the hell? I love
Earth so much I made a theme park just
58
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,000
the good on Earth.
59
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:03,300
Oh, yo.
60
00:04:03,820 --> 00:04:06,940
Wow, I guess it does seem like it sucks.
Oh, good one, Grandpa.
61
00:04:07,220 --> 00:04:11,660
You still like stuff ironically? No, it
used to be bad, bad, which was good.
62
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:14,240
There used to be a ride called It's a
Small Black Death.
63
00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:16,720
Looks like they've just got a regular
gap.
64
00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:19,760
Rick, were you just drunk when you were
here? I'm drunk now.
65
00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:21,339
Where's all the rusty nails?
66
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:25,340
Where's the herpes family flume? Light
up, Gordov. Get the fuck away from me.
67
00:04:25,930 --> 00:04:29,030
Can't wait to get a photo taken with
Marie Curie.
68
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,870
I think that's John Legend.
69
00:04:31,110 --> 00:04:34,270
Maybe they picked John Legend because
his name implies he's really important.
70
00:04:34,530 --> 00:04:36,750
Rick, how are you thinking we should
enjoy this?
71
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,070
Wow, they have a hall of presidential
picks?
72
00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:40,289
Like that?
73
00:04:40,290 --> 00:04:41,650
Do you think I can meet Fox?
74
00:04:42,070 --> 00:04:45,270
I'm not going to shit on it too hard
because I know you'd punish me, but
75
00:04:45,270 --> 00:04:47,170
this just a mid -90s outdoor mall?
76
00:04:47,630 --> 00:04:52,510
Oh, my bad. Oh, my God. You're a real
Earth person, aren't you? From Earth.
77
00:04:52,790 --> 00:04:56,710
Uh, yeah. I'm like star... A real human.
78
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,490
Ooh, you smell nasty.
79
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,910
Oh, I mean, is that good?
80
00:05:02,210 --> 00:05:06,710
Absolutely. Well, it's nice to see
something in this park still grimy and
81
00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:09,110
Then I'm as nasty as they come.
82
00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,290
Can you believe my grandpa loves this
place?
83
00:05:12,170 --> 00:05:14,150
Lame. Beth, where'd you go?
84
00:05:14,470 --> 00:05:19,390
Beth! Beth, I want you to have fun, but
I need to know where you're having it. I
85
00:05:19,390 --> 00:05:20,470
found a possum.
86
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:35,020
I forgot just how insane we were as a
kid. I shouldn't have pitched this.
87
00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:36,520
You have got to try it.
88
00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:38,120
I'm over here.
89
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:39,479
OK, sweetie.
90
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:40,580
This is your two -minute warning.
91
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,800
It's almost time to switch back. I gotta
find me first.
92
00:05:44,740 --> 00:05:45,740
Too slow.
93
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:46,879
Try again.
94
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,880
All right, let's go. That's enough. I'm
serious.
95
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,160
All right, Beth.
96
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:18,580
That bathroom was a ride, too? I had my
pants down and everything.
97
00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:20,720
I really do need to go.
98
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:21,939
Just go in a bush.
99
00:06:21,940 --> 00:06:23,640
I swear it used to be funnier than this.
100
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,120
Don't turn around.
101
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:30,140
I'm squatting. Hey, you can't go there
like that. You used to be able to piss
102
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,520
wherever you wanted to, like on Earth.
103
00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,980
Grandpa Rick, take the L. Let's get
Morty and go home.
104
00:06:36,260 --> 00:06:37,300
Yeah, this place is fucked.
105
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:41,240
Corporate takeover, board approved
changes, Steve Jobs dies and we get 10
106
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,219
of the same iPhone.
107
00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:44,260
Oh, no. The guy who made the pocket is
still alive.
108
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:45,299
He is?
109
00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:48,700
Yeah, rumor is he still lives here, down
in the tunnels.
110
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,680
Hey, Thumb Thumb, you like breaking
rules.
111
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:56,040
Ew, did you bring Molly?
112
00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:58,700
Hurry it up, Jerry.
113
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,900
It's your fault I have to go like this.
You destroyed my urethra when you turned
114
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:03,900
me into a trash can.
115
00:07:05,180 --> 00:07:06,180
Follow me.
116
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:08,980
And of course I brought Molly.
117
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:13,780
Uh, you're just joining us tonight. We
have a... Oh, my God, it exploded.
118
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,040
Oh, God, all those astronauts.
119
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,060
It's worse than any explosion before it.
It's hilarious.
120
00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:21,580
Oh, my God. Hey, y 'all, check this out.
121
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:25,140
Awesome. No adult is getting inside.
122
00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:28,300
Also, don't sit on that chair. The
cushion is nice.
123
00:07:29,060 --> 00:07:31,420
Somebody's got to sit on it. Gene should
sit on it.
124
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,440
Bam. Nice.
125
00:07:38,410 --> 00:07:39,410
Hey there, girls.
126
00:07:39,550 --> 00:07:44,690
I'm guessing one of you is Beth from
Next Door, and one of you is Sir Clone,
127
00:07:44,690 --> 00:07:46,050
you're both little girls now?
128
00:07:46,270 --> 00:07:49,810
Not that strange, given what I've seen.
What are you, a scientist?
129
00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:51,030
Come sit in our chair.
130
00:07:51,310 --> 00:07:55,670
Well, based on the design of your
makeshift harpoon, seems like you girls
131
00:07:55,670 --> 00:07:59,130
a bit of a spree. Feel like I'm going to
be walking into some booby traps.
132
00:07:59,470 --> 00:08:00,810
Let's have some cocoa instead.
133
00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:02,450
Let's have some cocoa.
134
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,360
Hey, that is cruel and technically
untrue. But you're in an altered
135
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,560
so I know you don't mean it. Why don't
you two sit tight? I'll get the
136
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:12,560
swiftness.
137
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:13,559
Let's go.
138
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:14,560
Go where?
139
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:17,280
Go hunt him. Unless you're scared.
140
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:19,200
I'm not scared of anything.
141
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,600
Let's get in the walls.
142
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:26,980
Wow, this is a good photo of us. Keep
talking. I can smell your rotting
143
00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:29,800
breakfast. Oh, God. Your hairs are
insane.
144
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:35,120
They're all over your body. Can I touch
them? Say a human phrase. Say grocery
145
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,340
list in that stink body accent.
146
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,900
You mean my voice? Yes.
147
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:42,799
Grocery list. I love your tooth -filled
big hole and the other less used holes
148
00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:43,639
on your face.
149
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:49,500
Okay, um, I'm getting the feeling that
you're not into me as much as you like
150
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,700
the idea of being with any human.
151
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:57,180
Does it matter if I'm still turned on?
No, I guess it doesn't. I want to get
152
00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:58,980
your wet muscle in my mouth.
153
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:00,380
You mean my tongue?
154
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,120
I don't care what it's called.
155
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:07,580
Rick, I know you're having a bad time,
but I think I saw a Panera up there that
156
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:09,780
might change your tune. A Panera?
157
00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:13,040
Shut up. Is that Kevin Costner?
158
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:14,240
Wait, why do I know that?
159
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:15,760
Did Father make new models?
160
00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:18,010
I don't recognize you three.
161
00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:20,030
No, I'm Old Guy Fieri.
162
00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:22,850
This is Princess Diana, and he's Mr.
Rogers.
163
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:26,450
Or Brett Kavanaugh. I wouldn't know. I
never left this park.
164
00:09:26,690 --> 00:09:27,369
Us too.
165
00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:28,850
We're looking for Dogballs.
166
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,530
He lives below.
167
00:09:39,690 --> 00:09:41,630
Dr. Dogballs, my man!
168
00:09:42,060 --> 00:09:44,000
Humans! Real humans!
169
00:09:44,260 --> 00:09:45,960
The mad genius who built Earthworld!
170
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:50,740
Nobody loves Earth as much as me. Car,
muscle beach, property taxes.
171
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:55,140
But before I could complete my perfect
vision, I was caught with incriminating
172
00:09:55,140 --> 00:09:57,980
files on my computer. And the board
chained me up.
173
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,020
I watch animal pornography.
174
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,760
That's my business.
175
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,720
Like with people and animals?
176
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:07,000
No, just the animals, sicko. The
original Earthworld was incredible.
177
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:10,300
I got strep from a candy once. Of course
you feel that way.
178
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:14,520
You're a human being. You know what
Earth -themed parks are supposed to be
179
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:19,040
I'd take you to the Dead Zone if I could
and show you some of the old delights.
180
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,020
But they won't let me leave my office.
181
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,180
They won't, but I will.
182
00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:27,120
Welcome to the real Earthworld.
183
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:33,040
Yes, this is... Closer to how I remember
it. Oh, I stepped on a rusty nail.
184
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,700
At least Jerry got hurt.
185
00:10:38,060 --> 00:10:40,420
Hot cocoa with extra marshmallows.
186
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,800
Hope you got room for extra
marshmallows.
187
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,820
Look at him holding marshmallows over
our heads. Like that's some kind of
188
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,740
I do like marshmallows.
189
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,440
He doesn't decide about our
marshmallows. You should go up there and
190
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,500
You should cut him.
191
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:54,800
What should be cut?
192
00:10:54,940 --> 00:10:56,460
I don't know. Just start slicing.
193
00:10:57,939 --> 00:11:00,000
Oh, my God.
194
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,200
Oh, my God.
195
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:02,300
My ankle.
196
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:03,960
I need a doctor.
197
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,720
Great. Now we have to take care of him.
I don't want to take care of anybody.
198
00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:09,720
You take care of him. It was your idea.
199
00:11:10,340 --> 00:11:11,340
Not it, Jake.
200
00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:12,580
I think you hit an artery.
201
00:11:13,060 --> 00:11:17,060
She did it. She's a psycho. You're the
psycho. I watched you eat a bird. After
202
00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:18,840
you tore off his wings.
203
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,300
I'll show you who's psycho.
204
00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:26,880
You run away, you baby.
205
00:11:27,180 --> 00:11:29,280
Remember your affirmation, Gene.
206
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,760
You deserve to live.
207
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,360
But how?
208
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:40,000
Well, somehow every decision I've ever
made has led to this.
209
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,080
Fire detected.
210
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,360
Extinguishing.
211
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:21,120
Come on, Gene.
212
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,180
Not like this. Not like this.
213
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,980
Hey, Siri. Call 911.
214
00:12:25,540 --> 00:12:27,220
Countdown to calling 911.
215
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:28,700
Calling 911.
216
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,120
Why does it need a countdown?
217
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:38,660
Earth, World War II was fought with
combines and harvesters, and you're
218
00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:39,720
witness it firsthand.
219
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,160
Oh, God, is that a live wire?
220
00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:44,300
None of the electricity is grounded yet.
221
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:51,700
I gotta get home before Gene calls 911
from any other phone but his own. The
222
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:54,020
head thing, so you can get out the way
you came. Wait, you're leaving?
223
00:12:54,260 --> 00:12:55,740
I thought you loved this place.
224
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:56,940
Yeah, I...
225
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,380
was right. Am I, like, supposed to think
it's cool that there's measles in the
226
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:02,400
water and, like, snakes?
227
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,140
Nah, you guys have fun.
228
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:07,740
Oh, shit!
229
00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:15,540
We're done here, boys!
230
00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:21,780
Rick, your girls, they're not good
people.
231
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:23,860
Thank you.
232
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,920
I've only been gone for two hours.
233
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:31,540
Hey, Beth, did you think here that
you've been huffing childhood and have
234
00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:32,560
overdosed on fun?
235
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,760
to fix this. Not making choices is
annoying.
236
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:11,880
Oh, I can't tell you. Oh, my God. I've
waited so long for someone to see my
237
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:17,340
vision. And, of course, it was real
humans. You're the perfect audience for
238
00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:19,360
this. My finest moment.
239
00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:25,620
Oh, Ted, what's that? My beautiful
creation.
240
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,340
They're going to destroy the park.
241
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:30,680
Oh, God.
242
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,860
I thought there were people in...
243
00:14:34,510 --> 00:14:36,390
to the people, the people of the
costume?
244
00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:42,650
All Earth theme parks, and Penguin,
Jurassic Park, Westworld, even the rides
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inside the theme parks tell the same
story.
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You're on a boat ride when suddenly you
take a detour to a waterfall, and now
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you're in a pirate's den forced to suck
dick to stay alive.
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00:14:54,650 --> 00:15:00,370
Why would you do this? The Greatest
Tribute Earth is a theme park that ends
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chaos.
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00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,320
Hungry for me.
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00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:12,520
Eat me.
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00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,420
Take it all.
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00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,420
Take the other one.
254
00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:20,900
Take it all. Don't go around.
255
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:29,820
Yeah, you like that?
256
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:32,780
Labradoodle. Coconut milk.
257
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,000
More human stuff.
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00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:35,280
Big league chew.
259
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,180
Ooh, say something racist.
260
00:15:39,550 --> 00:15:41,510
What? Come on. You're human.
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00:15:41,890 --> 00:15:42,990
It's your whole thing.
262
00:15:43,470 --> 00:15:50,270
Uh, Italians make pretty, pretty good
pizza. No, do it hateful,
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00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:51,990
you disgusting little bug.
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00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:55,830
Uh, did you hear that? Now you're
pretending there's some kind of
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00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:59,910
I tried to be vulnerable with you. If
you don't think I'm pretty, just say so.
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00:16:00,070 --> 00:16:01,230
I'm sorry, but I...
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00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:10,680
I wouldn't have.
268
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:44,240
You're talking into your adult.
269
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,180
Okay, whichever one you are, you're up.
270
00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:02,560
He can't breathe! He can't breathe!
271
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,480
Oh, shit! Fuck! Whoa! Yeah!
272
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,859
How old should we make him?
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00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:10,339
As old as it'll go.
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00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:16,660
Thank you.
275
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:58,770
She probably should turn you back.
276
00:18:58,970 --> 00:19:00,630
Do most kids like to stop this much?
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00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:03,830
There's the exit. Stay close.
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00:19:48,460 --> 00:19:49,460
Earth Park?
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00:21:42,220 --> 00:21:43,800
111 shouldn't have an answering machine.
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00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,740
Also, I have 11 legs now.
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00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:47,240
Nobody ever comes.
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00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,840
Did you get any of that?
20861
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