All language subtitles for Papy protiv mam (Russie) (2023).English

Ready?

Let's go!

Aren't you tired of lugging
all this around with you?

If Dad finds out I quit hockey,
he'll tear my head off.

And if he finds out you're
taking dance classes,

will he screw it back
on and tear it off again?

No, along with my legs.

Yeah, and you won't be able to put
yourself back together without them.

That's for sure.

Alright, see you tomorrow, conspirator.

What, are they having their arguments
at the same time now?

Is it coordinated?

Yeah, Dolby Surround, like in the movies.

Yeah, cool.

Alright, do whatever you want, but until
you bring the money back to the family,

I'm not letting you back in the house.

Do you have any idea
what kind of machine this is?

It's the extreme
series, I'll be flying on it.

Then fly away from here, fly boy.

You're the only one who knows
how to live right, so go live.

All by yourself.

Don't worry, I'll be fine.

Mom!

Mom!

Igor?

Masha?

Daughter?

Son.

And Ekaterina Pavlovna.

I see you're all having a collective
amnesia, trying to remember who's who.

You should leave, it's about
time. Don't forget this one.

Let me pass.

Hello.

They let us out early.

Olya, I'm here for you.

Of course, come in, little sister.

You know there's a home where you're
always welcome.

Oh, so that's how it is?

Tokha, my friend, come on in,
make yourself at home, don't be shy.

Alright, let's go.

Don't just play, practice.

He wants to go international.

You should sort things out at home first.

Well, did you hear that?

A five-dimensional model.

Some damn researcher.

So he took an important remote job.

And instead of writing the program, he
was playing his little tanks day and night.

And I, like a fool, tiptoed around
the apartment.

I thought, "My dear is working so hard,
sparing no effort for his family," and him

...

No, well, then, of course,
everything came out.

He let the team down, the deadlines passed,
and he got fired.

And, of course, they didn't pay him.

Because there was nothing to pay for.

Well, I already told you.

What's wrong with you?

Oh, Vitka found out that
Igor is taking dance classes.

I'll be right back.

And it turns out,
while Dad is risking his

life at work, saving
people, his son puts on

this sparkly thing and shakes his butt
on the ice.

So ice dancing is a sport too?

Hockey is a sport, for healthy men,
with wrestling, boxing, so that,

if anything, bam, bam, you
don't back down and don't

give up, that's the main
male principle, not dancing.

Do you even know what real
men's dancing is?

Go ask Uncle Anton, back in our day,
we'd go to the village disco in the next

village, you'd accidentally bump into
someone, and there you have it, dancing,

and hockey, and boxing.

And a steeplechase, I remember, I remember.

And I was so happy,
thinking my son is

probably the best
forward in the club by now.

Carrying such a huge bag to training
every day, what a good lad.

And then they call from the club, saying,
"Where's Igor?"

And here's Igor, or
rather, this is what he's into.

And the main thing,
can you believe it, Irka,

she knew everything and
didn't say a word to me.

It's your own fault, you've scared
everyone, they can't say a word.

Can't sleep properly, no sweets,
no going out, no computer,

so what is allowed?

Being quiet!

Go on, eat.

No, I've had enough.

Vitya says I'm a little porker anyway.

A porker?

When was the last time
he looked in the mirror?

He says men are an endangered species
and should eat well.

Alright, just eat peacefully.

By the way, I recently found a Chinese
course for Masha, with a business focus.

Am I paying?

And the money?

Poof.

Scammers?

Scammers, imbeciles, or rather one
imbecile.

Bought himself a high-speed computer.

He says, "I'm going to
visualize universes, break

through to the future,
create something new."

Just a gaming addiction, nothing more.

Olya, just a little.

He begged me for six months to
take out a loan for this computer.

Well, you should have.

Maybe he would have
come up with something new.

By the way, an idea is worth a lot.

You're the head of a
department at a reputable

bank, they definitely
wouldn't have refused you.

Who wouldn't have refused?

Refused whom?

Ira, it's me, I'm the head of the credit,
damn it, department.

Am I sick, taking out loans from myself?

That half-baked lunkhead, let him come down
from the clouds to earth, and realize

that he doesn't live in a hotel,
and his wife is not a housewife.

I'm sick of it.

It feels like I have two children.

I'm just curious, when will he ever start?

Economist, Freudian,
half-baked tank driver.

Tank driver?

Just like our dad.

Our dad?

Our dad brings everything
home, for the family.

And this one sat at home for two
months, and Masha was covering for him.

Can you believe it,
Irka says, "I've wanted to

tell you for a long
time, but I didn't dare."

When she makes me repaint the hallway,
she has plenty of guts then.

And in that stupid gray color,
oh, sorry, graphite color.

You don't understand!

But you will understand this!

That's it, now you're definitely
one foot in military school.

Anton, give me your hand.

You've gone too far.

Don't you go lecturing me.

You wouldn't understand, you have a girl.

Maybe somehow...

I'm going to take dance classes anyway.

Mom said I could.

And I said you couldn't.

I'm the father in this house.

What I say, goes.

Then I'm leaving too.

Where to?

To them?

Go ahead, go on.

With three women around, military school
will seem like paradise to you.

Aunt Olya will set you up there.

Do you think Uncle Anton ran away
because life was so good?

Why are you frozen?

Give me your hand.

If only he helped a little... What is this?

Two months have passed, throw out the tree.

Yes, and I begged for a year
to get the hallway painted.

Classic.

And the worst thing is that he's infected
Masha with his microbe.

Either on his phone or the computer.

Mom!

What?

You could at least look once at what I'm
doing on the computer.

Just once!

What is there to look at?

Stop messing around.

Phone on the table and go cram Chinese.

Olya, maybe there really is something
interesting?

Ira, what about you?

Dad likes it.

Well then, go to your dad.

I will.

You can study your own Chinese.

And don't touch the tree.

Think she'll come back?

Olya!

Ira!

Where have you been?

Out walking.

Alive?

And your head's still on?

Dad wants to send me to military school.

And my mom to a Chinese course.

And I'm going to Mom's.

And I'm going to Dad's.

Oh!

I told you he'd be back!

Hi.

Hi, Uncle Ilyich.

I'm here for you.

Oh, I mean, for Dad.

Do you know how to cook?

Sausages, omelets, pasta.

Welcome.

What are you doing here?

I ran away from home.

I'm going to live with you.

What do you mean, ran away?

What did Mom say?

Mom said to go learn Chinese,
and I ran away to you.

But what about Mom?

You can't leave her.

And you need to go to
school and everything.

Dad, you misunderstood me.

I'm on your side.

We'll live together and do whatever
we want.

Wait, wait.

What do you mean, "whatever we want"?

What about Mom?

You have to listen to Mom.

Remember the cartoon?

"Listen to your mother,
daughter, mother is always right."

Aha, so you get to do whatever you want,

and I have to listen to Mom
and learn Chinese.

By the way, in the cartoon,
that song was sung by the witch.

Is that from Rapunzel?

Vitya, Masha, what's with you?

Chinese is a very interesting language,
and an ancient one at that.

It's easy to learn.

All you need to know are the characters.

There are only fifty thousand of them.

You really know how to motivate someone.

Vitya!

That's not fair.

I got into a fight with Mom because of you,
and you?

Mom was right, you can't trust men.

Well, she's the spitting image of Olya.

Of course, our life as
fathers isn't all sugar.

Well, I see raising a daughter is also,
you know, problematic.

Want some popcorn?

Oh, Olya, I'm not
feeling well this morning.

Really, after a lethal dose of candy.

And we need to figure out school,
something's not right with her there.

Alright, willpower plus character,
and it's time to get ready for work.

How much I don't want to.

Oh, Olya, work is my only escape.

I have such an interesting project
right now, I hope it works out.

Oh.

At least now you don't have to lug that
stupid bag back and forth for no reason.

Forever.

What's forever?

Your mom said it could be forever.

Didn't like sleeping in a new place,
didn't dream of a bride-to-be.

You'd better imagine what it's like without
dads, and what mom is like without them.

Hello, Uncle Petya.

Good morning.

Hello.

Tell me, please, are you okay?

In time, you yourself will die forever.

I keep thinking, how are
the men doing without us?

Maybe it's a good thing Anton has a
hobby?

Maybe he'll start earning money with it?

Are they okay there without us?

That's my mug.

And we share everything.

And we have order.

Well, actually, I'm a dad too.

Alright, Ira, let's hurry.

Someone has to bring money into the family.

I think it passed.

Can you believe it, I specifically
took a week off from my vacation.

I wanted to take Igorek
fishing on the thin ice.

No, it's clear the risk is high.

But the bream bite
like crazy in the spring.

This whole mess, everything turned out
so badly.

I also keep thinking, how
are they doing over there?

What if they're worried?

Worried, them? Yeah, right.

Mine was gaming all night
and is still sleeping like a log.

I'm telling you, you can't really
sleep in with Vitya.

We bought it for Igorek's birthday.

We'll check at the same time.

Now we'll find out what they're up to
without us.

What?

I prepared the installation for work and
left it in the hallway.

I forgot with this whole mess.

Well, go with her
then, they're still asleep.

I'm telling you.

Well, at least I'll go with you.

Uh-huh.

That's not my window, where are you flying?

How is it not yours?

It's yours.

Not mine! What, do you think
I don't know my own window?

I'm...

If you crash it, I'll kill you.

I still have to give it to Igorek.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Go on, go on, go on.

And that?

And that?

What?

Wow!

I don't get it.

And who is that?

Come on, zoom in, zoom in.

What?

Are you sure you remember?

Zoom in, zoom in again.

"Worried," you say?

Of course he's worried.

That's it, you perverts.

Olya, wait.

What a shitshow.

No, really, did you
see what jerks they are?

And you said they were worried.

No.

War, and only war.

That's understandable.

But what are we going to do?

First, we'll break them down mentally.

Wear them out.

No contact, no support.

That's it, iron curtain.

We are no longer in their lives.

It's okay, they'll struggle for a week,
and then they'll be as gentle as lambs.

And if not?

And if not, we'll turn off the gas.

What?

We'll turn off the internet.

Mine will definitely come
running, sweet as pie.

And mine?

I'll throw all his fishing
rods out of the garage.

Well, look what the cat dragged in.

What, have you finally lost it?

Or did you outplay yourself?

I was so close to finding a solution.

Ah, so you've decided to get smart?

I have.

But is it really about getting smart?

And why did you web up
the apartment like a spider?

It's a model of five-dimensional space.

You see?

The thing is, the mind of a common person
can only grasp four dimensions.

But according to string
theory, there are many more.

They are just folded up.

And I want to make the brain
of an ordinary person perceive

creation as an interactive
model of all that exists.

Ah, I see.

Olya was right, you've gone cuckoo.

Well, you ran away too.

Don't worry, I'll get you
back on your feet here.

Listen, here's a practical
question, without any theory.

What are we going to do about the wives?

What do you think?

I think if the wives want a war,
they'll get one.

Maybe we can negotiate?

With whom?

With them?

Negotiate about what?

Do you even realize what's happening?

I was sent away, and you were kicked out.

This is outrageous.

Well, actually, I was the one who
took Masha's money without asking.

And you drove everyone crazy with hockey.

So what?

So what?

I am the man of the house.

A woman should listen to a man.

She should listen even when she's married.

Even when we're wrong.

Even when we're wrong.

Well, it's okay, they'll live alone
for a week, suffer, cry a little.

They'll come running
back, asking for forgiveness.

So, go on, take down this spiderweb
and study.

In my house, playtime is by the hour,
understand?

If the brain of an
ordinary person can't

parse the info from
the interactive model...

This cannot be completely opposite.

But the most important
thing is that all these

people suffered,
unless they didn't suffer.

They didn't suffer!

We.

Vitya and I haven't
spoken for almost a year.

Well, what's the point?

I say one word, and he starts yelling.

He orders me and Igorek around
like we're on a parade ground.

And he says my work is strange,
either feast or famine.

He says, "Stay home, cook soups,
take care of your son."

I'm not against it.

But I'm an artist, a designer, a creative
person.

Is it really so hard to understand?

No, sometimes there
are no orders for months.

Mine didn't want to let me go back to work
after my maternity leave.

He's a good programmer.

But I went back, to my own
detriment, and he just sat on my neck.

Still, Irka, sometimes you have to
listen to men.

Ira, what's wrong?

Remember how they used to be, huh?

I used to climb over the
fence at night to see Kirka.

Yeah, right.

And remember how you told me
Fyodor Mikhailovich caught you?

I don't remember.

Yeah, right, right.

And my wife, when she nags me, she's
not thinking of herself, but of the family.

You can understand her.

And I used to love rewatching our wedding
DVD, for the nostalgia.

And what, you stopped loving it?

The DVD player broke about two years ago.

I asked him for a month to fix it.

And so?

He fixed it.

Caused a short circuit, and the DVD player
finally burned out.

And he got an electric shock himself.

I see.

And my washing machine was on at the time.

Don't toast to the washing machine.

And I did ask him to upload
the wedding to the cloud.

The jerk.

In short, it's time to forgive them.

You think?

Well, we've taught them a
lesson, and that's enough.

Otherwise, they're over there, poor things,
suffering, tormented.

By the way, about the bedside table.

Listen, I've put on some weight here.

Tell me honestly, am I fat?

Are you kidding me?

Well, honestly.

How are you fat?

How?

Where?

I beg you.

You're as slender as a birch tree.

Why are you standing there swaying,

Bowing your head to the very back...
Come on, let's go.

To the very back... Go away yourself.

No, come on, come on, come on.

[unintelligible singing]

Oh.

Damn.

What is it?

I think I pulled my back.

Your back?

You need that Bonesetter.

Who?

Kostya, Kostya, the Bonesetter.

She has a guy, a manual therapist.

After seeing him, the
fatigue just vanishes.

I feel like I'm flying after seeing him.

Well, I don't know.

I'm kind of used to Vitya.

We're studying together.

It's a class thing.

And anyway, I'm kind of squeamish.

Well, hello.

What are you doing here?

Were you spying?

Mom, are we going to have dinner?

Were you eavesdropping?

Confess, did they send you... Olya!

Did Dad send you?

Mom, what are you talking about?

We were looking for you.

By the way, that's a good idea.

Why don't you go and find out
what our... your dads are doing.

Mom!

What, "Mom"?

Who allowed you to go
to dance classes anyway?

This mommy over here.

Olya, what should I say?

Well, say that you need textbooks and
notebooks.

By the way, you really do need textbooks
and notebooks.

I'll go with you.

Oh, the return of the prodigal son.

I'm here for my textbooks.

Hi.

Hello, Father Vitya.

Hi.

I'll talk to him.

Okay, and I'll talk to Igor.

So, how's our mom doing?

She's fine.

And you won't send Igor to military
school?

Look at her, just like her mother.

A direct approach.

Alright, I'll think about it.

Listen, Igorek, let's do this.

You tell me the truth, and I'll talk
to your father about the dancing.

Alright, deal.

Well?

I like you all.

Without a heart.

And Aunt Ira?

Yep.

A lot?

This is the first time
I've seen her so much.

And what does Olya say?

You mean Aunt Olya?

She says you're a pain.

And what does Aunt Ira say?

She's used to you.

And that's all?

Almost.

She also says that after you, she has to
recover her health.

That's bad.

She's tired of you.

And what was it?

Wait, wait.

In what sense, recover her health?

Well, I don't know about the sense, but
she says she has some kind of therapist.

I think his name is Kostya.

She really needs him, and after seeing him,
she's basically flying.

That's just great.

Well, I'm off.

Alright.

We're leaving.

Have a good evening.

Squeamish.

Igor, and how is your dad?

I'm talking to Uncle Vitya,
and I'm with Uncle Anton.

Well, and how are those uncles?

They're fine.

Was Dad playing on the computer?

No.

Well, alright.

Masha, to your room, we'll talk later.

Oh, maybe he gets it now?

I think they've started to worry after all.

We've definitely made them think.

What now?

Wait.

The wait wasn't long...

Like it?

Okay, I don't like arguments.

Quiet.

Now we'll see who's squeamish about whom.

So, had enough flying
around with your Kostik?

With what Kostik?

What on earth are you talking about?

Tired of me, are you?

With that precious therapist of yours,
the one you need so much?

Are you going to need a surgeon now?

Squeamish again, are you?

Planning to be squeamish with me?

Don't you love me?

Where did you get all this from?

It's obvious what they got into.

Look, they're already delirious.

Masha and Igor told us everything.

So, what is this they've been telling you?

You misunderstood us.

Or we misunderstood you.

Then how was it?

Don't yell at the children.

You've found someone to blame.

The fathers.

And who's to blame?

Us?

Yes.

You need to take
responsibility for your actions.

What do you want to raise your son to be?

Who do you want him to become like?

I want him not to become like you.

Understand?

And I want the same.

Let's go.

I don't get it.

And why should Masha be like you?

Five-dimensional space, you say?

Well, you...

It's okay, get used to it.

Life is like that.

Lonely.

May I pass?

The more it hurts now, the less it will
hurt later.

He'll toughen up.

Vitya!

Vitya!

Let me go!

I'll iron all the laundry.

Alright.

Go to sleep. Now.

Listen, I can't stand
looking at him anymore.

Maybe we should go to Dad's dacha?

Or let him come here.

Then they definitely won't come near us.

Are you crazy or what?

We'll all be done for there.

More precisely, not done
for, but what do tanks have?

A hatch.

Well, then it's hatches for all of us.

Well, wait, it's not our fault.

You don't know Dad, do you?

He shoots first and asks questions later.

Or maybe you've missed his training?

We'll explain everything to him.

No.

Hey, Cinderella, why are you ironing
creases into my jeans?

I thought you liked it that way.

Yeah, a strange situation we've got here,
of course.

What's so strange about it?

It's because of you it happened.

Of course.

Your son ran away from
hockey, and I'm to blame.

And where's the logic in that?

You know what, if you hadn't slacked off
at work and started playing those shooters,

then your wife Olya,
a reasonable, sober-minded

person, would have long ago knocked
some sense into her sister, my wife.

There.

Even if I hadn't been kicked out of that
damn job,

my wife would still have
supported her sister, your wife.

Their dad

raised them that way.

What?

No, no, no.

Don't even think about it, no.

Only he can bring them to their senses.

And who will bring us to
our senses afterwards?

It took us six months to
recover from his last visit.

Have you forgotten that
forced march with full gear?

Go on, call him, if you want a repeat.

I'll remember this for the rest of my life.

What's wrong?

So you don't break it.

Turns out, we're the ones to blame.

Uh-huh.

Dad is right.

You have to answer for your actions.

What are you doing?

Who are you calling?

Grandpa.

They'll make up in no time with him around.

They'll all get what's
coming to them from him.

And we'll endure it too.

On my responsibility.

Oh,

the commander-in-chief himself
has graced us with his presence.

Finally decided to throw out your heirs.

About time.

Bonjour.

Yara Gorgulyevna, have you prepared another
dose of poison?

I assure you, I have an immunity.

Don't waste it.

Well, who's there?

There, there, why are you stuttering?

You?

Me?

Very interesting.

Very.

According to mythology,
Megaera's poison was in her gaze.

Even a hero would die from it.

Well, I see you're holding up so far.

Allow me to pass, and you can continue
posing as sphinxes.

Please, please.

Hooligans.

Yes, just don't hit me with your tail.

I won't spit on him.

I respect the work of cleaners.

And rightly so.

Can my poisons, my poisons?

Watch it, Fyodor Mikhailovich.

You'll get what's coming to you.

Don't worry, I'll teach
you how to make borscht.

Comrade General, your mission is complete.

Wash this too.

Stop buzzing around, go take out the trash.

Attention everyone, listen to my command.

In ten minutes, we gather here, I will
conduct a political information session.

Is that clear?

Yes, sir.

Carry on!

Stop absorbing glucose.

So, are we running?

Maybe it's not so scary today?

He went to them, not to us.

He'll be giving them a hard time now.

Yeah, today them, tomorrow us.

Why should he hurry?

You know him, until he's taken a scalp from
the whole tribe, he won't rest.

We need to prepare.

And who called him anyway?

Could it be the men?

Are they kamikazes or what?

Masha!

Igor!

Fyodor Mikhailovich.

Comrade General.

What, Fyodor Mikhailovich?

What, Comrade General?

Who gave you permission to speak?

The high command has
blessed me with children.

One plays with toys like a small child, and
the other pretends to be a generalissimo.

No, by rank, he's a major.

Fyodor Mikhailovich, but that's
Irina... Who are you yelling at?

Don't worry, she'll get hers too.

Alright, don't leave the house and finish
the cleaning.

I'll conduct a reconnaissance in force.

I'll find out the mood of the
personnel on that side of the front.

Is that clear to everyone?

Yes, sir.

Carry on.

He wet his pants.

And you?

And

here's the missing agent.

Can you believe it, he's
like Mary Poppins now.

Don't hold your breath.

Why did you disobey my order?

We were just worried about the loss of
command.

How did the reconnaissance go?

It went badly.

It failed before it even began.

You have to drive your wives to this.

I take it there's no plan?

Cease panic.

Tankers don't surrender.

So what should we do, Comrade General?

What should we do?

What to do always follows after
it's figured out who's to blame.

And you are to blame.

The simplest and most effective way
to make amends with a woman.

Which is?

Well, you know, flowers, champagne.

Flowers, champagne, romantics.

I'm surprised they even married you
at all.

And a star?

Well, you know, a star, from the sky.

Take notes, in your subconscious
or whatever you have left up there.

I won't repeat myself.

An offended woman
always expects reparations.

Translated from normal military language.

To yours.

You need to give a real gift.

And shamefully, it's like a fur coat?

My raspberry is gone.

You're talking about a fur
coat, but what about a dream?

Well, to make a dream come true, huh?

Do you even know what they dream about?

You're aware, right?

I'm aware, but it seems you are not.

That's strange.

Mission: Find out the dream,
fulfill it, and report back.

Why didn't he just say so?

Was it too much to ask?

He doesn't know anything.

But I have an idea.

Grandpa, will these gifts really not help?

Of course they'll help.

Remember, guys, gifts always help.

I remember, with your grandmother,
well, never mind.

Grandpa, what's the best thing to give?

What's the best thing?

I think the best thing is to fulfill
a childhood dream.

Everyone dreams of
returning to their childhood.

Even you, Grandpa?

Yes, even me.

And Mom, what did Mom dream about?

Your mom?

Your mom always dreamed of meeting
a certain singer.

I can't even remember his name right now.

He sang something like...

"I miss you, I don't get letters from you."

Well, anyway, your mom dreamed of meeting
him and singing that very song.

"My baby, I miss you, I don't get
letters from you."

By the way, she told me that in secret,
yes.

And mine?

Oh, yours couldn't stand that song.

When she heard it, I don't know,
it even made her shudder.

All the time.

Your mom would always put that song
on.

And as soon as the other one
heard it, she would start to complain.

"Turn it off!" "I won't turn it off."

"Turn it off!" "I won't
turn it off," from her room.

They were always shouting,
"Dad, she put that song on again!"

"Dad, she won't turn it off!"

And I had to break them up.

And what did she like?

Oh, yours?

Oh, yours.

She liked snakes.

What?

Yeah, what, what ew, yes, snakes, ew.

When she came to the zoo with me,
she would immediately...

"Oh, Dad, just look at how it is."

"It's so warm, yes, it's so warm."

All the staff at our zoo already knew us.

Well, in that, what's
it called, the terrarium.

"Daddy, let's take it home."

"It's so pretty, Dad, let's take it."

Oh, yes, and yours, yours couldn't stand
those snakes.

Oh, when she saw
them, it was immediately

"ew, ew," and she would
run to the elephants.

So, that's how different they are.

Aha, got it.

Get up, sleeping beauty.

So, the intelligence reported on the gifts.

Your Masha loosened Grandpa's tongue.

That's it, the general is
getting old, he's relaxed.

She wrote to you, but
she's still not talking to me.

Well, don't worry, you'll make up with Olya
and Masha at the same time.

So what about the gifts?

Well, it's not clear yet, but I have a
feeling I'll have to dip into my savings.

But keep in mind, I'm
not Rockefeller, got it?

I'm in on it.

Hey, you deprived one,
where are you going to get the

three hundred and fifty
thousand you owe your wife?

Here's the thing, I
started working yesterday.

Wait a minute.

Our grandpa has insomnia, you know.

Turns out, he knows about string theory.

Oh, no.

Listen, well, we exchanged opinions.

Our grandpa is a genius.

He gave me an idea and went to sleep.

I finished my program, sent it, and already
got a response.

What, "thanks, but no thanks"?

Very funny.

Anyway, there's some stuff to finish,
but they reinstated me at work

and transferred four months' salary,
a million.

How much?

Well, that's not the main thing, they're
creating a development department for me.

A new direction, you see?

What, you've reached the essence of being?

Well, not exactly the essence,
but the idea is very interesting.

Want me to tell you?

No, don't, I believe you.

Oh, oh, who are you?

Get lost, what's up, bro?

By the way, sphinxes are the
most affectionate cats in the world.

But you, of course,
wouldn't understand that.

No, well, the affection of cats in general
is well-known.

Especially in March.

But what's most important, this really
can't help but command respect.

See, I told you, with your soldier's
humor, you wouldn't get it.

Sphinxes are the only cats
capable of devotedly loving people.

Besides, they're hypoallergenic.

Is that so.

Well, I don't know about love or
allergies, but for some reason, your kitty,

I imagined it just like that.

But really, let me ask,
where is her stinger?

Are you really dreaming about cats?

I couldn't imagine that a person of your,
so to speak, stature, would be capable

of loving anyone.

Masha really wanted a cat.

Olga has an allergy.

I got three of them for myself.

Though, just simple Siberian ones.

I thought, who would they bother here?

Maybe they'll come visit?

Well, the grandkids for the
kittens, and the daughters for me.

No, well, it just hasn't worked out yet.

Either they have school, or some business.

Now they've just gone crazy.

They started a war out of foolishness.

A war.

As if they know what war is.

She's arrived.

Irka's coming too.

Well, I'm off.

Wait, come on.

You know, nobody ever comes to visit
me.

And I have nowhere to go, even if there
was somewhere to go.

Who needs me like this,
Vasilisa Demidirovna?

No, no, what are you talking
about, I think you're wrong here.

Well, first of all, you're
a striking woman.

Well, why are you smiling?

In the army, we respect women like you.

And...

Listen, what about these cats,
do they really not cause allergies?

They don't even have a stinger.

Oh, come on.

You know what, come
over to my place for tea.

I have a lot of literature about sphinxes,
I'll show you, I'll tell you.

Well...

What are you doing,
the dog is here, the dog!

Tyapa!

Quiet, quiet, calm down, I love you
very much... Katenka, just calm down.

Calm down, wait for me here.

We'll get him, Katenka.

No, maybe we should call someone.

No need.

Katenka, no need.

What is this?

Especially for Olga.

A gift from a loving husband and
the fulfillment of a childhood dream.

From whom?

From her husband.

So, that means he sent you, right?

Why "sent"?

Well, we have mutual friends and he ordered
this song for you, so you could fulfill

your childhood dream and sing along with
me.

So, that was an option, huh?

Yes, of course, it was.

What song?

This one,

we can have some tea, yes.

Tea?

By the way, my wife sent you the cake,
we have our own pastry shop.

Ah, a pastry shop.

I dreamed about that my whole childhood.

Close your eyes.

Vitya, what have you come up with, huh?

Well, Vitya.

Vitya, don't be a hooligan.

This is for you, my dear.

Shh, shh, shh.

Calm down, Katya.

Just stay calm, Katyusha.

Well, come to me.

Come to me, my good girl.

Here, Katya.

There, you see.

I'm getting weak, I can't
hold on much longer.

Tell the children to make up, yes.

Katya.

Yes, and tell them to buy Masha a cat just
like yours, you hear.

And to respect you, yes.

And to invite you for tea.

The last will is the law.

Katya.

Vitya, you, you, you did this on purpose?

Of course.

I'll kill you, and I'll be acquitted.

And thanks for the cake.

It's really delicious.

You're welcome.

Irina.

This snake is for you now, Irina.

Live in it.

I see you've had your tea.

Well, come on in, sweet tooth.

My old tower has become weak.

It seems I've mixed something up.

It's okay, Vitenka, we'll sort it out
together, it's always easier together.

Let's go, let's go slowly.

There, just like that.

Stop, stop, stop.

When I remember, I immediately start to
get goosebumps.

I get tetanus and goosebumps all over.

Oh, what's wrong with you?

It's just a little python.

A gentle, warm creature.

A cutie.

And do you know how smart they are?

They're smarter than some men.

Oh, don't remind me.

What a nightmare.

And you?

Zhukov himself came to see you.

He wanted to sing a duet with you.

And you threw a cake at him.

So what does this mean?

They found out what we hated most
in childhood.

And on purpose?

Apparently so.

That's it, my patience has run out.

They have no strength left.

Ira, come here, you'll help.

I'm so sick of this tree.

We'll figure it out ourselves.

What have you done?

But it was you...

Close the hatch, or better yet, seal it.

Well, actually... What "actually"?

The intelligence brought
you information, and

you rushed into an
attack without verifying.

And now what?

Now what?

A woman in a rage is a fearsome thing.

I'm not going back to them.

Me neither.

And me even less.

Well, what are we going to do now?

I can't go on like this.

I love Dad very much.

And Mom too.

And if they really get divorced,
what then?

We'll have to choose.

Choose what?

Who to live with.

Listen, but Dad is a good person after all.

They just wanted to fulfill their childhood
dreams.

They just messed something up again.

Dad against Mom.

Or moms against dads.

Do you have a dream?

A dream?

For example, I really want a drone.

A real one.

So I can film from above.

As if you're flying in the clouds yourself.

And you?

And I want Santa Claus.

What?

Nothing.

Who?

Remember, I was very sick on New Year's.

Well, all the past years, Santa Claus came
to me.

He gave presents, of course, but that's not
the main thing.

We talked all the time.

How I spent this year, how I would like
to spend the next one.

And everything was fine.

But this year he didn't come.

I was sick, and he didn't come.

And everything is bad.

That's why I'm asking Dad
not to take down the tree.

Maybe he just got lost or something
happened.

What if he sees our lights and comes to
us, huh?

What do you think?

Well, yeah, maybe he will.

So that means everyone
who doesn't take down their

Christmas tree just doesn't
want to let go of their dreams.

They're waiting for them to come true.

Maybe that's right.

Listen, Viktor, did you ask your boy
why he signed up for those dance classes?

What's there to ask him?

I see.

Anton, did you, well,
tell Olga that you were taken back

at work and they already paid you?

Not yet.

I wanted to finish it, and then...

I see.

Alright, guys, listen to me carefully.

Come in, we need to talk, man to man.

Well, go on, tell me.

Why did you go to those dance classes?

I thought you liked hockey.

Well, why did you take up boxing?

Because it's a man's sport.

And also because I liked a girl at school.

She lived in the next yard.

And back then, the next yard, you know,
was enemy territory.

And so to walk her home,
I had to either run fast,

or fight well.

I ran a couple of times,
realized running wasn't for me.

Cool.

Did you tell Mom?

What's there to tell her?

She saw everything from the window.

So it was Mom?

So you started boxing because of her?

Because of her.

Me too, because of her.

I mean, not because of
Mom, but because of a girl.

Okay, okay, okay.

Let's hear more about this.

We trained at the same ice rink
with the figure skaters.

There's this one girl, Olya.

But six months ago, they moved to another
rink.

Well, I see.

And you went after her?

I signed up for the group.

Well, I see.

The situation is becoming clear.

Why didn't you tell me?

I see.

Well, is she at least aware that you
quit the team for her?

No.

I see.

Right.

Well, let's do this.

Your birthday is coming up.

So look, you invite the guys from
the team and you invite this Olya.

What if she refuses?

We'll come up with a plan.

We'll work everything
out, and she won't refuse.

Listen, what if we somehow
get her on your team?

Well, maybe as a goalie or... Dad!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What kind of goalie.

Thanks, Dad.

Mom will definitely forgive you.

Shh.

Because of a girl.

My boy.

Put it here like this and close it.

Say goodbye.

How was your day?

Listen, how are we going to live with them
after this surprise setup,

huh?

We need to file for divorce.

I don't know.

What's there to know.

Apparently, we'll have to.

Masha?

What have you done?

He won't come now.

Maybe never.

Mashul, what's wrong?

It's March already.

New Year's was a long time ago.

What's with you?

Why do we need this tree?

Mashul, honey.

It's just standing here
uselessly, collecting dust.

Mashul, what's wrong?

Useless, huh?

Useless.

Divorce, huh?

Divorce.

And we have to choose, huh?

Don't come near me.

You promised last time.

You promised you would never fight.

You promised and you lied.

I hate you all.

Oh my God.

How can I help?

Open the window.

What window?

What are you talking about?

We need to call an ambulance.

No need for an ambulance.

Doctor.

Valery Petrovich.

Mom!

Mom!

No divorce.

It's not Dad's fault.

Alright, let's get out of here.

You can tell us later.

Any battle, on land or in the air,
in water or underwater.

It's first and foremost
about strategy, like in sports.

In boxing or hockey, the main thing is
not strength, but strategy and tactics.

Thank you.

Because if you don't have brains,
then no amount of strength will help you.

You should take this into account in your
algorithms.

You write, you write.

I'm writing, I'm writing.

Irina.

Dad, wait.

Vitya, not now.

Anton, I need to talk to you.

Just don't worry.

Igor told us everything.

We understand, we meant well,
it's just that Dad mixed everything up.

But we didn't know.

We took down the tree.

About the divorce.

Masha heard everything.

Anyway, Olya says it was like before
New Year's.

Wait here.

It's me, Dad.

Marusya, forgive me.

It's my fault.

But we have nothing to do with it.

It's all nonsense, Marusya.

We'll make up.

Right here, right now, we'll make up,
Marusya.

Antosha, what are you doing?

Antosha, she's already asleep.

Well?

She's asleep.

Anyway, the doctor said that in our case

psychosomatic reactions
weakened the immune system.

And you know the rest.

We didn't even have a New Year.

We were all fussing over Masha so she would
get better.

Then everything seemed to get better.

The doctor said that the main medicine for
Masha is attention.

And we...

Igorek, go on home.

Let's play, I don't know.

We'll be at the hospital with Mom soon.

I'm not going.

That's right, grandson.

You're a grown-up now.

Sit.

You have every right to
participate in the family council.

Alright, sit, sit.

And so you all knew.

You started a war.

You upset the girl.

You should all be spanked.

Where can I find a bench big enough to lay
four louts on?

I wouldn't mind being spanked.

If only it would help Masha.

If only she were happy again and not
sick.

Masha said it was because
Santa Claus didn't come to her.

That's why she said
not to take down the tree.

She thought he would see the
lights in the window and come.

Good job.

You're telling me to go home.

A fighter, well done.

Oh, you're a good one.

What's that?

Lights?

We'll provide those in a moment.

Oh you, fighter, well done.

Alright.

Girls, come on, you're on kitchen duty.

Viktor, Igor, come on, go to Mom.

You're in charge of the technical support
for the event.

Alright, here are the car keys.

Go on, get to the shops.

I'll send you the list later.

Aircraft carrier negotiations.

No need, he has me now.

That's right, let him pay for it himself.

We have a wealthy man now.

I'll tell you everything later.

And I've already paid for Masha's courses.

Dad, that's enough.

Come on, spill it, what
did you come up with?

Alright, sit down.

We're going to specify the task.

Let go, no storylines.

Everything is real.

I have an urgent matter for you.

You're a well-connected lady.

I need Santa Claus.

With the Snow Maiden?

Without.

When?

Now.

Okay, then come in.

I'll bring the pies now.

Shul, you're already awake.

Do you like the dress?

Go wash up quickly, in 20 minutes
we'll be seeing off the Old Year.

Oh, Masha, go open
the door, everyone's busy.

I'll open it.

Hello, hello, hello.

Hello, Santa Claus.

Happy upcoming holidays to you.

Thank you.

I know you've been a good girl this year,
so you get a present for that.

Wow.

And a present for you too, beautiful.

Santa has a present for Grandpa too.

And for you, little girl.

And a little gift for you, sweetie.

Thank you.

Well, hello there, Mashenka.

Let's have a look...
Where have you been?

I waited for you for so
long, I even started to feel ill.

And you just didn't come and didn't come.

Where have you been all this time?

No, that's not the best way to put it.

Come with me, let's talk.

Come in, come in.

Wow!

What a beautiful room you have.

And you're a good girl,
you love your mom and dad.

That's good.

Sit down, Grandfather.

My grandpa says it's better to sit down.

I don't need your gifts.

I'm cross right now.

And I'm cross with you, by the way.

Why did it take you so long to get here?

You've never been so late before.

You always used to come to me before.

We would talk.

I make my wishes for next year with you.

And then everything would be fine all year.

And now?

Now they're going to get divorced.

That's what.

But that has to be fixed.

To fix it, you have to want it
very, very much.

Just want it?

No, of course not just want it.

You know, tonight is a magical night.

Your parents worked so hard, they
even brought the New Year back for you.

What does that mean?

It means that on this night, the
deepest wishes are bound to come true.

It happens once in a thousand years.

What do you want more
than anything in the world?

Wait, don't answer.

Think carefully.

I want,

for there to be no
quarrels and no fighting.

For all of us to live in peace.

Mom and Dad, and Uncle Vitya and Aunt Ira.

Basically, everyone.

Yes.

What a good wish.

But even on a night like this, it's very
difficult to grant.

I probably can't manage it on my own.

But you know, maybe
the two of us could try?

What if it works?

Yes.

Shall we?

Let's.

Well, what if it works?

Yes.

But don't be scared, when the wish
starts coming true, I'll disappear.

What, forever?

Yes, well, no, of course not.

Until next New Year.

Definitely just until next year?

I promise.

Tell me what to do.

We dance.

Dance.

Dance.

Come with me.

I'll be right back.

Well?

Let's go.

Dad, come on.

Let's go.

Please.

Dance.

Dad, come on, dance.

Oh, alright.

What's up?

Okay, okay.

Let's go.

It's all good.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Now I'm making a wish.

Just don't say it out loud.

Repeat after me.

Happiness for everyone, free of charge.

Happiness for everyone, free of charge.

And may no one go away offended.

And may no one go away offended.

Whoops.

Don't worry.

This happens to us a lot.

The fuse blew.

I'll be right back.

Mashenka.

Masha.

Where are you?

Dad, I'm here.

How are you?

Dad, I'm old enough now.

I understand you set all this up.

But tell me, is this Father Frost real?

You know, Masha,

this time, it seems, he is real.

Well, there you go.

I told you, this happens to us a lot.

Yeah.

So, did we miss it?

Quick, quick, quick, quick,
quick, quick, quick.

Okay, glasses.

Glasses.

Semenych, let's go.

Dad, I'm here.

Okay, and...

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

It's all like in the movies.

Remember the moments
Our recording on an old

cassette Where we're
in love like children And

there's no one else around
And as the story goes,

at dawn I gave my
feelings in a bouquet And we

believed in our omens
Bought tickets to a

warm summer An old
balcony, I'm hugging you.

On it, erasing the past like a bad grade
in a diary My hand in your hand Is it true,

that without love, stars
wouldn't fall from the sky

That if it weren't for you, I
would be alone right now.

I wouldn't have written
so many love songs for you

Is it true, is it true, that
we send our feelings

to the sky as signs
That you and I are two

people with one heart
And if we're together,

we can outrun the planet
and the whole world overnight

Is it true that we send
our feelings to the sky

as signs That you and I are two people with
one heart And if we're together,

we can outrun the planet
and the whole world overnight.

Remember the moments
Our recording on an old

cassette Where we're
in love like children And

there's no one else around
And as the story goes,

at dawn I gave my
feelings in a bouquet And we

believed in our omens
Bought tickets to a warm summer.

Again the minor key will make the heart
scatter like dominoes.

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