Original subtitles

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Avalanche!

Cool!

Great!

Awesome!

Horrifying!

Don't help them.

Stand up!

Morons! You're useless!

That's all for today.

Dismiss!

Yes!

Awesome!

That move just now...

Go away!

How many times have I told you, no bubble gum in class.

You're really awesome!

-Really? -Yes, especially your ultimate move,

the Avalanche.

The masculinity...

and how your hair swayed back and forth,

how impressive!

Are you free tonight?

Come watch TV at my place.

My bed's big and comfy.

You're crazy.

Grizzly tried to pick you up. Why didn't you say yes?

Grizzly? Come watch TV at my place. My bed's big and comfy.

That's exactly like him!

That's true...

Tell us, what are you looking for in a man?

Yes!

He must be kind, gentle and brave. A real hero.

DATE WANTED

I don't know about heroes,

but you can definitely find good-looking people here.

Look. Gorgeous and smart,

I'm 36, 24, 36 and lonely.

Let me be a part of your life.

Call 4567. That's my number.

But remember, never call 116.

He's known for hit-and-runs.

But the last time we met,

he left as soon as he saw me.

He didn't even touch me.

What's wrong with that?

At least you didn't catch anything.

-Go change. -OK.

I think you're going crazy!

Li, I'm telling you.

There are no more heroes in this day and age.

Did you call the police?

Yes, officer.

Have you been robbed?

Yes, cleaned me out.

What's your name?

He Jin Yin.

Show me your ID card.

Look at me, officer.

Where can I possibly hide it?

Doesn't take a genius to rob you.

What?

Did you recognize the robber?

-What did he look like? -Let me try.

Do you remember what the guy looked like?

So what if I do? He had my consent.

What do you mean, man?

This is what happened.

I was walking by.

A man in rags came towards me.

He asked me for $20 to buy food.

I felt sorry for him and gave him $20.

Then he told me that his wife and son have not eaten

and have no clothes.

He took off my clothes,

snatched my wallet, and asked if I minded. I told him I do mind,

but I'd let it slide since he needed help.

I offered to take off my underwear,

because I should help him all the way.

I was worried I'd get arrested for indecent exposure.

So, I called the police to put it on the record.

That's all.

I see.

PC26324, we have a nudist on our hands,

suspected of mental disability and obstructing police work.

-Please send backup. -Did you hear me wrongly?

Let me repeat the story.

-Take him away! -Let's go, retarded nudist.

-Officer, I'm really... -Cut the crap.

I pitied the guy, why would I lie?

People like you make the world more pitiful.

Get up and eat!

Try the clothes on later. See if they fit.

Can't believe there's such a nice person in this world.

He's a kindhearted man.

I'm back!

So what?

You must be thirsty. Have some water.

Thanks.

It's spicy!

Not spicy enough? I'll add more.

Boss, next time you have an order for North Point...

send someone else.

I had to climb up the hill. I almost didn't make it.

It's for your own good. It gives you proper training.

Take this to Wan Hua.

What did you say? I can't take this anymore, Boss.

You're really the boss' pet. I'm so jealous.

Stop teasing me.

-You could tell? -Boss.

There's a fly in my soup.

Let me see.

-Johnny... -Don't give me that!

I had some of it,

and the fly is still swimming around like it's showing off

and mocking me.

Say no more!

We're fastidious about hygiene.

It's not just you.

We hate flies too. Kill it.

-Hurry! We must kill it. -What are you doing?

-Crush it... -Why did you fly into the soup?

Hygiene is our top priority. I'll kill it for you.

Hey, I just want another bowl of soup.

Why all the fuss?

Just give me another bowl.

Oh, that's all?

Stop, everyone!

The fly is here...

Help!

Forget it!

-It's over! Get back to your tables. -It's all right...

All right. Come here!

If we didn't make a scene,

we wouldn't get paid and save a bowl of soup.

We must do our best, right?

-Yes... -Good job!

Isn't it too much?

You don't have to break a bottle to kill a fly.

I was just trying to help.

That bottle costs 50 cents, you moron!

Where's the beer bottle?

Behind you.

Chief, what do you think?

Excellent! You're the only woman who can throw me over.

It's my birthday today. Come join my party.

We're in class. They're all staring at us. Don't talk about this.

I won't let go unless you say yes.

Let go of me, you maniac!

Let go!

-Thanks. -Don't mention it.

Bye!

It's OK if you're busy tonight.

What about tomorrow?

I have two tickets to Jacky Cheung's concert.

Let's go together.

Having my period tomorrow. I can't go out.

What a coincidence! So am I!

What a coincidence!

Delivery?

Morning...

Hey, give me a sandwich.

Only if you pay.

You're catching on!

You don't have a girlfriend, take her!

Stop it!

He's not so bad.

If you're not coming to the party,

at least give me a birthday kiss.

Li, I'm so nice to you.

You know how many girls want my attention,

but they don't get any.

Why don't you grab your chance?

I don't know either.

I'll kiss anyone but you.

What? Kiss anyone?

Don't talk nonsense.

Don't lie to yourself, Li. I know you love me.

I'm telling you, you can't kiss anyone.

-Sorry, I'm a little late. -Anyone but me!

Don't give me this bullshit. Get over here now!

Don't do that. What if I fall for you?

Do you want to go for Jacky Cheung's concert?

Let's go together.

I'm busy.

Busy my foot! Let's go.

-Stop right there! You hear me? -Calm down.

Let go of me! Come back!

The manager is looking for you.

I like Jacky Cheung too.

If you really want to go,

I'll be happy to go with you, but preferably on Wednesday.

That's the only day I'm off in the whole month.

What's the kid doing with Li?

If you must go today, do you mind if I wear a hat?

Or give me some time to fix my hair.

My hairstyle doesn't really match with your personality. May I?

Sorry.

I kissed you without asking.

-I was only kidding. -Kidding?

Yes!

I'm so relieved!

It's all right. Don't be silly.

It happens to me all the time.

Good!

Run along!

I'll leave when my legs quit trembling and my heart slows down.

I'm sorry.

Is there anything I can help you with?

No... I'm fine.

I'll sit down for a while.

What's your name?

He Jin Yin. I'm a delivery boy.

Forgot my name card today.

Mr. He, my name is Li.

Nice to meet you, Li.

I have to go! Bye.

Li!

About Jacky Cheung's concert, is that a joke too?

I want to go, but the tickets are hard to get.

Not really, if you try hard enough.

Where there's a will, there's a way.

Bye!

Bye!

TICKET OFFICE OPENS AT 9:00 A.M.

-Get in line... -Jacky Cheung... we love you.

-Get in line... -Jacky Cheung... we love you.

-Queue up! -Jacky Cheung... we love you.

Jacky Cheung... we love you.

I love Leon Lai...

Fix him... we love Jacky Cheung!

You old prick!

Mister.

Can I take your place for $1,000?

Sorry, this is important to me.

I promised my girlfriend I'll get concert tickets.

How about $2,000?

It's not about the money. It's the effort that counts.

I sacrificed my only day off in a month and camped out here overnight.

Why are you doing this?

If your girlfriend finds out your dirty tricks...

-she'll never forgive you. -What a fool.

Hey!

I promised my boyfriend I'll get tickets.

-Can I have your place? -Sorry, but you can't.

I'll buy you dinner.

-Just one dinner? -How many do you want?

-At least three or four. -No way!

If I were you, even if it took 30 dinners,

I'd do it for my partner, without a doubt.

How can you do that? You're crazy!

If you won't sacrifice for love, you'll never get the concert tickets.

Mister, my grandson wants me to get tickets,

but there's such a long queue. Can you give me your spot?

I really love my grandson.

Even if you don't pay me, or take me to dinner,

for the fact that you love your grandson, you can take my spot.

How kind of you! You'll be rewarded.

-Hurry. -Get in line...

Two tickets please.

Sorry. That old lady bought all the tickets.

No! I only need two tickets.

There were only 20. We're sold out now.

-No more! Go away, all of you! -You're kidding.

-Granny! -Go! Leave!

Granny! Granny!

Granny!

-What? -Do me a favor.

-I just want two tickets. -I gave them all to my grandson.

-Where is he? -Outside... holding all the tickets.

Tickets for Jacky Cheung concert,

$500 each! Front seats $1,500.

Hurry before it's gone.

Hey kid, don't jump queue!

-Two tickets please. -No problem.

-Young man. -Officer.

You're arrested for scalping.

-Give me a chance, officer. -Come with me.

Sorry, guys.

What are you still doing here?

I was just trying to get two tickets.

It's so unfair.

Of course you couldn't get them.

They're all here.

-Jacky? -Here!

I love you, Jacky!

No thanks. I have a girlfriend.

Li, Jacky Cheung made me believe in miracles.

Now I have the guts to ask you out.

Enclosed please find two concert tickets.

I hope we can go together. Tomorrow at 3:00 p.m.,

I'll wait at the bus stop outside. Sincerely, Yin.

-Here's the delivery boy. -Li.

Mr. He. Hello!

-What a coincidence! -Yes!

I brought you an egg sandwich.

Sorry, I don't eat eggs.

-Let's go! Hurry... -Bye!

Li, give it to your mother if you don't want it.

Let me eat it!

We're late, let's go.

-Talk to you again. -Let's go.

Help!

That bitch ate my sandwich!

-What's wrong? -Are you all right?

-My throat... -Is it serious?

-I feel like throwing up. -I'll pat you on the back.

What is this?

Hey, your concert tickets almost got me killed yesterday.

Li is waiting for you by the bus stop.

Really?

Trust me! You owe me dinner!

Anything you say!

No one can compare to you

I'll never forget your smile

You're the one I love

Kiss me with those tender lips

I can't help myself

I'm losing control

Are you all right?

I'm fine. No problem at all.

-How are you, Mr. He? -Hi...

This is for you.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

-Let's shake hands. -Sure!

You're strange! I've never met anyone like you.

Thanks...

Anyway, thanks for the tickets.

My pleasure.

Come on, don't be shy!

No, don't...

How's it going?

Hey, thanks so much.

-Thanks for what? -Whatever.

What's going on? You look scared as shit.

Bingo!

You kissed her yesterday.

Are you getting into the sack with her today?

What are you talking about? He's my friend.

Mind your manners.

Am I provoking you? I dare you to hit me.

Hit me... come on.

Hit me hard! Come on...

You don't need more hitting. You've been punished enough.

What's this?

I guess it's shit. But I don't know whose!

Bastard! How dare you play with shit?

You bastard! How could you dodge?

How could you do that? What kind of a man are you? Coward!

Li, come watch TV.

No.

Madonna is singing. Come quickly!

I don't want to.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Here comes Madonna. Come quickly!

I said I don't want to watch it!

She's wearing a tuxedo!

Don't be a nag, Mother!

Li.

What is it? What are you doing here?

I came to apologize.

Don't be silly. There's no need to apologize.

It's not your fault.

-How is your nose? -Fine.

Really?

Really!

You're lying.

I hit myself on the nose casually, and it hurt so bad I was in tears.

Sorry, I'm really fine. Please don't worry.

Don't lie to me.

I insist that you go to the hospital for a check-up.

It can be severe.

You may have internal bleeding or nasosinusitis,

or even cancer if you're out of luck.

You may be dying and don't know it.

Are you finished?

It's late, I want to go to bed. You better leave.

Here, take this back.

Please don't do this to me, Li. Please give me another chance.

I treasure what we have. It's important to me.

This is a misunderstanding, Mr. He.

I don't like cowards.

I didn't even touch him.

He's already on his knees begging and howling like a dog.

-Do you know who I hit? -Who?

Li.

She flew nine feet high and spun two full circles.

Isn't that wonderful?

You're bragging about injuring someone. How can you do that?

What about the shit you had all over your face?

-Why don't you mention that? -Shit all over your face?

What did you say?

I'm saying... that you better apologize to Li.

There you go. That's how the coward ducked yesterday.

Coward!

Are you all right, Li?

Don't move!

I tried calling you last night. Did you know?

You didn't pick up, I was so worried.

I couldn't sleep at all.

Stop, Grizzly! Don't do that to him!

I didn't do anything.

Go deliver your order.

Did you hear me?

Asshole.

Are you hurt, moron?

Coward, you deserve to be hit.

I don't like cowards.

Useless fool!

Stupid.

-What is he doing? -He's an idiot.

Forget it, let's practice!

We don't open until 9:00.

It's 8:45, fifteen more minutes to go.

What do you want?

I'm a coward.

It's obvious. You should've come last night, idiot.

Twenty dollars.

-Twenty dollars? -Yes.

Apply a thin layer 30 minutes beforehand.

INDIAN MAGIC OIL

Don't be too greedy. There was a kid who once used the whole bottle and...

No, I don't need this.

I want my money back.

Your fingerprints are all over it. I can't return your money.

Then give me two beers instead.

All right!

Give me $8 more.

I'll keep the change. Here's a pack of peanuts.

Don't stare, or it'll cost you more. Go away!

Look at you.

One word is tattooed on your face. Heartbroken.

Here.

You really are?

So what? Everyone goes through that.

The first time?

That should be the hardest.

You don't need a beer now.

I think...

you should change into something more cheerful.

Listen to a good song and eat a big breakfast.

You'll feel much better.

Let me help you.

Trust me.

Come on!

This is the best deal for you.

Nice clothes, a song and a big breakfast.

I'm only charging you 60 cents per second.

What do you think?

I think I've been had.

Really?

Does that take your mind off the fact that you've been dumped?

-Maybe. -Get more into it!

Be brave and sing along.

I guarantee you'll feel better. Sing!

Use the microphone.

Don't look at me, look over there.

Please pass the ball back.

It's raining... Hurry...

Are you all right, old man?

Don't be silly. I know kung fu.

Kung fu?

Yes, that's right.

I can teach you. 20% off.

CHINESE ANCIENT BOXING

At this sports center,

the Chinese Ancient Boxing school has a long history.

I'm the current Chief.

What should I call you, old man?

You can call me the Devilish Muscle Man.

Anything but old man, OK?

Sure!

So, Devilish Muscle Man, why is the boxing gym

behind your grocery store?

The grocery store is a side business.

I'm a boxing coach by profession.

Fame is not my game.

I hate people who court publicity.

Bruce Lee was my classmate, but do I brag about it?

Jackie Chan likes to have tea with me,

but I don't have time for him.

That's him, see that?

Do I tell you about him?

What's the big deal?

So, what do you want to learn?

What can you teach me?

Iron Sand Palm.

Originating from Si Shui, it is a powerful skill...

capable of shattering anyone's internal organs,

causing death even before arrival at the hospital.

Shit.

This takes three days to learn and costs $600.

The Armor Skill.

It's from Southern Shaolin, 70 km north of Fujian

and 30 knots south of Shan Mei.

It'll render you impenetrable to all weapons,

including fire and water.

This takes five days and $800.

Flying Guillotine.

From the late Ming and early Qing dynasty,

it's the official weapon of imperial assassins,

capable of decapitating anyone from miles away.

Because it is lethal, I'm using this yo-yo instead.

This takes seven days and $1,000.

Poison Dragon Drill.

It originated from a comic and started out as a fantasy.

But I have modified it and turned it into powerful footwork.

It'll cost $1,500.

Lightning Death Ray.

It has killed numerous monsters

and ferocious dinosaurs.

Took young people by storm in the seventies.

But I can tell you it's fake.

There is no such thing.

It only exists in the movies, I must tell you.

You don't have to worry.

Honesty and practicality are my motto.

-I... -I have to make it clear...

I choose my students based on their potential.

I don't teach just anyone who wants to learn.

-I better go. -Don't!

We're getting along just fine. You don't have to worry.

-I think it's too expensive. -Prices are negotiable.

I'm not making much out of this.

I might teach you for free if you have potential.

-Really? -Really!

That's not a good idea.

Your leg...

I don't want you to overexert yourself.

Sorry for the intrusion.

Iron Sand Palm emphasizes inner strength.

It can kill without being noticed.

It's amazing!

Fame is not my game.

Please don't tell anyone I'm a kung fu expert.

-I'm just an ordinary cripple. -Yes!

Can you beat judo?

Judo?

You're kidding. Of course I can beat judo!

Chinese kung fu has a history of thousands of years.

As they say, there are no cowards with kung fu.

Can you teach me?

I told you, I make no promises.

Tell me what you want to learn.

Everything.

Huh? That would cost you a bomb.

And it's exhausting!

I don't mind. I want to be strong.

Very good!

From the fire in your eyes, I know you have great potential.

Cut the bullshit and pay up.

Fine.

Your fees, Master. Wait!

-What? -This is my hard earned money, so...

Don't worry. I understand.

I'll train you up in no time.

-Wait! -What now?

You said you'll teach me for free if I have potential.

Good question! Hang on!

The money is not for me.

It'll be donated to fellow Chinese...

KUNG FU FOR ALL

...so that they can all receive not only education,

but also kung fu training.

How meaningful.

Yes, put it in!

Done.

You're now a student of Ancient Chinese Boxing.

Congratulations!

ANCIENT CHINESE BOXING

-Let's go. -Yes.

-Li. -Hi.

-Going to class? -Yes.

Let me tell you something. I'm secretly practicing kung fu.

Really?

Yes. I can also tell you, I'm getting really good at it.

Anytime you run into any trouble, just let me know.

It doesn't matter what time. I stay up late.

Really? Let's try it out!

Thanks.

There he goes again.

Bastard!

What are you doing?

You're supposed to wash the rice, not jab it.

You've been at it for half an hour!

What has the rice done to you?

Did it kill your father?

You can kill it with a knife.

Stop jabbing!

I'm practicing, Boss.

-Practicing? -Yes.

Why don't you practice on me? Jab me, come on!

Are you all right, Boss?

Asshole!

Noodles.

What's this?

Curry beef with braised noodles.

I wanted fried noodles.

-I'll get you another one. -Let me handle this.

Bloody hell.

-Sorry! I'll do it. -Using his hands!

Sorry. Please calm down.

The kitchen is swamped.

-He made a mistake. -Here it is, sir!

How could he use his hands?

Enjoy your meal.

Did you do it on purpose?

Doing that in front of the customer, you want me to close down this shop?

Where is your conscience?

Next time, do it in the kitchen, not in front of the customer!

I've been practicing kung fu so much lately that it became a habit.

What's wrong with you?

You're dreaming. What teacher? What kung fu?

You're an idiot, who would teach you?

He's taking advantage of you.

If you don't take advantage of me, I'd be eternally grateful.

What? I took advantage of you?

You were an orphan.

-You were all alone. -All right, Boss...

-I took sympathy on you and took you in. -Calm down.

I fed you and put a roof over your head.

How could you say that?

Stop it!

-If you're not happy here... -Stop the yelling.

You're welcome to leave. Go!

No one is asking you to stay.

Yin, we were just joking when we teased you. Don't go!

What are you doing?

Where are you going?

Don't mind him! Get back to work!

All right... it's over.

Have a seat. Enjoy your meal.

ANCIENT CHINESE BOXING

Yin.

Everyone needs an identity and self respect.

As a student of Ancient Chinese Boxing,

you should have a uniform.

Here you go!

You're my life saver, Master!

You deserve it.

Wear it.

People will show you due respect.

Also...

this is our treasured Jiu Yin manual.

Keep it.

Jiu Yin manual?

So, this kung fu requires a mask?

Really? Oh, you can fight better with a mask on.

Get up. Take a seat.

You're too nice to me.

Don't say that.

I've given you two treasures.

You should help our suffering countrymen.

After all, blood is thicker than water.

Just twenty dollars?

You donated $500 for the last stance!

This is all I have left!

Now, get this straight. It's not for me.

It's up to you how much you're giving.

I'm just as happy even if you donate nothing.

But if you have any jewelry at home

or shares...

Master, for my fellow countrymen

I've done all I could.

I'm broke now.

What about your salary?

I have a job, but I hate it.

I'm thinking of quitting.

I have nothing.

But since you're so nice to me,

I'll stay with you from now on,

practicing and looking after you.

Master, what's wrong? You're shuddering!

Nothing.

In that case, you leave me no choice.

Come with me.

Now I'll teach you the most formidable movement.

But Master...

It's not in this manual, it's in another one.

Now, it will depend on you.

Trust me, I can do it.

Roll down from here.

What? Are you kidding me? All those steps? What kind of kung fu is this?

Are you serious?

This is called the Invincible Fireball.

You kill your enemy by rolling down with him.

Then I'll be dead too.

No! How can you be so stupid?

Hold him tight.

Protect yourself with his body.

Make use of gravity and universal gravitation.

Apply turbo speed, using your body weight.

If you can't get rid of your opponent this way, come and see me.

I still don't understand.

This movement is difficult and highly dangerous.

I understand if you don't want to learn.

That'll prove that you don't have what it takes,

so don't come to me again.

Please don't say that! I'll do my best.

If you succeed,

it means you're invincible

and you don't need me anymore. That's all.

Go...

-Master. -What is it now?

-Are you dumping me right now? -Whatever you want to call it.

-Master! -What do you want?

I want to give you this Swatch.

-I always carry it with me. -How much is it worth?

It's not worth much, but it was a birthday present

-I bought for myself last year. -OK, thanks...

Don't mention it. It has sentimental value.

-I won't let you down. -Don't be such a nag! Idiot.

He couldn't have! How stupid can you get!

It hurts!

-I saw everything, Master. -What?

How to practice the Invincible Fireball.

You did it to show me, right?

Without a second thought, you tumbled down! That's cool!

I stood up there for the longest time and didn't dare.

-You saw everything? -Yes! It was awesome!

This is tough. I better learn something else, Master.

Something less demanding.

No matter what, I've done a demonstration and I should get paid.

Sure. No problem.

Then hurry up. I'm bleeding already.

-OK, come with me! -No, just give it to me!

Asshole!

Hurry up!

-Morning. -Morning.

This is for you.

I was rude, I'm sorry.

Forget it.

Why don't you come to my place? I want to talk to you.

My house is spacious, my bed's big and comfy.

You're nuts! Don't touch me!

-Please give me a chance. -Stop.

Chief, your glasses are broken!

What? My Armani is broken!

You broke my Armani!

My Armani...

Don't yell.

She's gone.

-Grab her! -Yes!

Come back!

-Got her! -What do you want?

-Let go of me! -Do you know how long it took me

to save enough for this?

I need this to woo girls. You must pay for it.

I'll count to three, let go!

One.

I've been after you for so long and you played hard-to-get.

Now you leave me no choice!

Stop!

Let her go!

-Who is he? -Garfield. He's my favorite!

Grab her!

Who are you?

Let her go!

Quit the act, asshole!

Take off the mask!

I said let her go!

You're dead meat, talking to me like that!

Don't even think about it. She's mine!

Yeah! He's ready to strike.

-Must be a good show. -Give me some.

-Crush him! -I can settle you with one punch.

-Yeah! Strike! -Yes!

Pathetic! Cut open his mask!

Yeah...

See? Death to those who challenge me.

Li, who's Grizzly fighting?

A masked man challenged Grizzly.

-Huh? -He's so brave.

I'm invincible!

I told you...

no one can beat me.

-Come on! -Fight him!

Avalanche!

Invincible Fireball.

Incredible!

Hurry, over here. Hey, over here.

Grab your weapons and beat him!

-He's fallen down there. -Go have a look.

Chief! Are you all right, Chief?

Find that bastard!

Are you all right, Chief?

Found him?

There's nothing to see here, go away.

Master was right.

I'm really better under the mask.

I finally won.

I won!

Come to the police station. You're charged with disorderly conduct.

You're suspected of being a triad member. We need to take that mask as evidence.

Breaking news! A man with a Garfield mask rescued Li.

Breaking news! A man with a Garfield mask rescued Li.

Breaking news! The best combat fighter Grizzly

was beaten for the first time in three years.

Garfield masked man defeated Grizzly with Invincible Fireball.

Place your bets! Who is the Garfield masked man, Li?

I told you I don't know who he is. OK?

That's not possible, Li.

If you don't know him, why would he come to your rescue?

-That's right... -Don't lie to us.

-Tell us. -Come on.

I don't know what to say.

All my life,

no one has ever stood up for me like that.

I wonder who he is.

I know he saved me without asking for anything in return.

He bounces back every time he's down.

He's truly courageous.

All I want is to meet him

and personally thank him.

You really don't know him?

Then we can't place our bets!

ONE FOR 100,000 JUSTICE BAO - MUTANT - JESUS

I finally see you again. I've been waiting for you.

Wait! Let me guess.

You must have thick brows,

penetrating eyes, and masculine features.

I'm so nervous.

You're absolutely right. Kiss me.

Stop!

Actually I saved you.

How will you repay me?

It was me! Take this hotel room key. I'll wait there.

Take it...

I'm an honest man. I have no fancy words.

Let me hug you.

Li!

No way.

Don't run.

Damn it.

Don't worry. I'm here to save you.

You're despicable!

What are you doing here?

Don't jump queue!

-No... -Don't you know the rules?

-Get in line. -Go...

I'm the real guy!

Get in line!

Taxi!

Don't go. Here we come.

I can't breathe back here.

You're here too, Master?

The more the merrier.

I can't believe you're like them.

We're all the same.

Not me. I really saved the girl!

So what? You couldn't have done it without me.

Without you? I used the Invincible Fireball.

Cut the bullshit!

You were lucky.

But you won't be so lucky next time. Try it again and you'll kill yourself.

-What? -I lied.

Do you want to know tomorrow's headline?

-What? -Car crash in the mountains.

Why did you lie to me?

Please. You believed in the Kung Fu For All campaign.

Who else would fall for it? Tell me.

Why are you telling me now?

Because you're asking me now. That's why I'm telling you now.

You didn't ask me before,

I can't possibly tell you, I'm lying to you.

Don't trust me.

This may not be something to brag about, but it wasn't my fault.

You were stupid.

Money. I want my money back!

I'd be as stupid as you if I returned the money.

Damn cripple! You'll have no son.

Hey, don't get personal!

Why not?

Cripple! Swindler! Sex maniac!

Wimp! Sissy! Coward!

I beat Grizzly, I'm not a coward.

You wouldn't beat him without me.

You lied to me. I did it myself.

I gave you confidence,

or else you wouldn't dare to challenge him or go after Li.

-Leave her out of this. -Why?

What's the big deal?

I dare you to take off that stupid mask in front of her,

and let her see your pathetic cowardly face.

Did it yourself? Go to hell!

You'll be a cripple in your next life!

Moron.

-Cripple! -Idiot!

Cripple! Look at this cripple, everyone...

How pathetic...

Look at this idiot, everyone...

-I dare you to say that again! -I'll say that again.

-Quit pointing fingers. -You old cripple.

Get lost, asshole!

I dare you to come and fight me.

Go to hell!

Li.

Li, I must tell you,

the guy with the Garfield mask was me.

You?

Do you have proof?

I can't believe it.

Even you want a piece of me! What do you want? Come get it.

Are you serious?

I hate scums like you.

Li, listen.

I'm not who you think I am. Please let me explain.

Stop!

Li, Stop...

Yin.

Hey, Yin...

What's wrong with you? I have something to ask you.

It has nothing to do with me.

What are you talking about? Why are you running from me?

I'm busy.

Do you know who the guy in the Garfield mask is?

No.

Really?

Why are you asking?

I should have guessed.

He must be someone I know.

Good guess.

Do you know why he wears the mask?

Why?

Because he wants to remain anonymous.

He doesn't want people to repay him.

Exactly.

He is generous and doesn't ask for anything in return.

His greatness is comparable to that of Jesus Christ.

Tell me, how can I repay him?

Simple! Kiss him.

Kiss him?

Don't be shy.

We're in the 20th century.

Put aside the moral issues.

Trust me, you have no choice.

Kissing him is the only way.

Don't miss the chance.

You must repay him for saving your life.

Yin, let me introduce to you

the Chief of the Karate Club at Elite Center.

He came all the way from Japan.

He's an old schoolmate. I'm so happy to see him.

It was him who rescued me!

Don't bring that up. Your friend is waiting.

Really? I'll take a look.

Are you from Elite Center?

No.

I don't want Li to hang around useless garbage.

Stay away from her.

You're calling me garbage?

Yes.

Are you done?

Vivian is waiting for us.

See you later!

Li, you're wrong about...

Thanks for your advice.

GARBAGE COLLECTION POINT

This can't be happening.

I told her to kiss me. But she kissed him instead.

I sent her straight to the arms of that bespectacled asshole.

This is too much to handle.

But with my unwavering willpower, I can take this.

Am I in your way, buddy?

No, it's always been a place for garbage. Sit here as long as you want.

Nothing you say can harm me now because I've already gone mad.

One, two, buckle my shoe.

Again...

Buckle my shoe...

Stop!

Come back!

What do you want, man?

Forget the money, I don't even have a job.

Take my life if you want.

Shut up! I need to talk to you.

You know I'm the Garfield masked hero, right?

-Yes. -I saved Li.

But she got it wrong.

She thought it was some karate asshole.

Can you please explain it to her?

I'm afraid she's been lied to.

Sure, I'll tell her the next time I see her.

Thanks, but no!

Not when you see her. You need to go find her.

I'll go tell her later.

-I'll go with you now. -Wait.

Given your current status,

if you tell her you're the Garfield masked hero, isn't it a pity?

Why don't you tell her you're the U.S. President?

President? Maybe later.

But now, I want to clarify this. Let's go...

Get a grip!

Look at you. Who would believe you? Go away!

I have nothing to live for.

Then you should die.

Yes! But before that

I need to teach that asshole a lesson because he called me garbage.

But you are garbage. Look...

Come... look at you.

You blend in so well with garbage.

Don't deny it.

To prove that I'm not, I'll beat him up.

Sure, go ahead! Do that for me too.

Then teach me kung fu again.

I told you I lied to you.

Why are you so persistent? Are you an idiot?

I won because you lied to me. Might as well lie to me again.

I told you it was pure luck.

Believe it or not.

Don't come to me again! Now get lost!

-Will you lie to me? -No!

-I'll slash your face! -I dare you!

Let me tell you, bastard. I'm a cultured person,

I won't swindle anyone again. You hear me?

Now get lost...

LETTER OF CHALLENGE

BORN TO KILL NO APOLOGIES

Karate chief. Is the Karate chief in? Fetch him for me.

Delivery boy! You haven't made a delivery for a long time.

Yes, I've been unwell. I needed to rest.

Storekeeper, I thought you quit already.

Why are you here?

I miss you, Mary.

Really?

-Would you like to go out? -Take me to a movie.

How about Loving Mary?

-You can take my mother. -Sure! Does your father mind?

You're obscene.

What do you mean obscene? I'm romantic.

We're not here to get a date.

I walked in like a murderer.

Now you're embarrassing me.

Where is the Karate chief?

In a meeting with Mr. Chen.

Pass this letter to him. Let's go.

Come here.

-Oh, so… -Hey.

ELITE CENTER PERSONAL COMBAT DEPARTMENT

JUDO DIVISION

In terms of personal combat,

Elite Center is second to none in southeast Asia.

Our impeccable reputation is attributed to our department chiefs.

Chief of Tae Kwon Do.

His feet are as agile as his hands,

attacking the opponent from unthinkable angles.

Chief of Kendo.

He's fast as lightning, powerful enough to split a rock.

Our boxing chief.

The impact of his right hook is 878 lbs.

Our Judo chief.

Best fighter for three years in a row.

You're the one beaten by the masked man.

Nice to meet you.

The purpose of my trip from Japan

is to restructure Elite Center.

I think karate is the top martial art in the world.

That's why I think only karate

should remain at Elite Center. The others should be abolished.

KARATE DIVISION

-What do you mean by that? -What about us?

Good question! If you're interested,

you're welcome to join the karate division.

I'll do the screening,

because I only train the best,

and not garbage.

Why are you looking at me? You think I'm garbage?

Don't get me wrong!

I'm saying you're all garbage.

Son of a bitch!

What a mess!

What are you thinking?

Let's burn the letter.

I told you.

They're all garbage.

They should have been driven out!

Where's the letter? Good! It's still here, burn it!

You cripple! I have driven you out.

How dare you show your face?

I see. You want money?

I'll give you money and get lost.

I'm telling you, please don't treat me like a beggar.

I'm no longer with the Center.

I don't have to put up with you.

I'm here today as Chief of the Ancient Chinese Boxing school

to challenge this karate chief to a duel.

Are you out of your mind?

1974, first time at the Southeast Asian Kickboxing Championship

and won first place.

1980, defeated Japanese heavy champ, Lei Long.

For the next consecutive three years,

defeated all Japanese Karate masters

became Kickboxing Champion in Japan.

Ancient Chinese Boxing, hailed as the jinx of karate.

He's nicknamed Devilish Muscle Man.

What are you doing?

That's right.

This was the image of Devilish Muscle Man back then.

But too bad. In the Sino-Japanese Championship in 1988,

you disappeared after my master broke your leg.

Abandoned all hopes

and resorted to swindling.

You're now an aging cripple.

How can you challenge anyone?

Challenge?

The challenger is not me, but him!

The second-generation student of Ancient Chinese Boxing,

He Jin Yin.

This piece of shit?

Yes! Give me a month.

I'll train him to be invincible!

Only karate is invincible.

As long as I'm alive,

karate is always second to me. Up for the challenge?

Crazy.

I accept your challenge, on one condition.

If I win the challenge,

Ancient Chinese Boxing shall totally vanish from earth.

All right! But if you lose, I want Ancient Chinese Boxing

to take over Elite Center.

-You have a deal. -One more thing.

Mr. Manager, you took two bottles of Indian Magic Oil the other day.

Pay me back!

Master, I didn't know you were for real.

I told you fame is not my game.

You shouldn't make challenges on my behalf.

You're killing me!

I should thank you.

If you didn't put a knife to my neck,

I would never have realized this is the best thing I've done.

If we win, I can re-establish Ancient Chinese Boxing.

Even if you get killed,

I'll take out an insurance policy and be the beneficiary.

Good for you, but what about me?

You can prove you're not garbage.

That's what I am, I won't deny it.

-I have a plan. -What plan?

I haven't devised it yet.

I better go.

We'll work together some other time.

Very well!

What about the girl?

Fine... I'll do it!

That's the spirit!

Look.

The ratings for "Happy Tonight" have reached record low.

Do something! Say something!

How about this?

I read a story today from the Elite Center magazine.

-A suicide challenge. -Are you serious?

ANCIENT CHINESE BOXING VS. KARATE

DELIVERY BOY'S SUICIDAL CHALLENGE AGAINST KARATE CHIEF

Happy Tonight is proud to present the Happy Boxing Championship.

The contestants include, on my right,

student of the Ancient Chinese Boxing school, the Delivery Boy.

My name is He Jin Yin.

I see, Delivery Boy has a nickname, Yin.

On my left

is karate champion for three consecutive years,

Chief Duan Shui Liu.

They have signed a no-fault agreement.

What brought about this duel?

I don't know.

Let's ask them.

Mr. Delivery Boy,

everyone says it's suicidal for you.

Can you tell us the reason

behind this tragic decision?

-Director, please look here. -Look here, please.

It is...

Actually, I just wanted...

It's unplugged, silly.

Chief. Is this your first TV appearance?

Yes.

I'm allowing the live broadcast

because I want to promote karate.

Any event that promotes martial arts

I will give my full support.

Rumor has it that you wore a Garfield mask

and saved a girl. Is that true?

I showed up in disguise

because I don't want people to know.

Since everyone is interested,

I can tell you.

I grew up in Japan.

Kamen Rider was my idol.

From then on,

I have used different masks

to help the underdogs

and punish the evil doers.

It never dawned upon me

that the person I saved that day

would be the love of my life.

He's talking about you.

Li, I'm glad to see you again.

I didn't expect my hero

to show up at the right time and save me.

It was so dangerous.

If you didn't show up,

I don't know what would have happened.

I know it's been a while,

but I still remember red is your favorite color.

You like black.

You like red bean pudding.

You like wasabi.

How romantic!

Flowers in bloom

We pledge our love

Nightingales sing

Singing about our love

Love is in the air

We'll be together, never be apart

Our love will never die

I'm so happy today.

Me too.

Li, I'd like to take this opportunity to propose.

Please say yes.

You're crying.

There goes your girl!

Let her go!

What's wrong with you? Epilepsy?

You're lying! You're a liar!

You're a hypocrite!

Don't believe him, Li.

I saved you the other day.

Step aside, Li.

-What? -You garbage!

I'm giving you a chance to fight me,

yet you repay me with slander.

I'll show you no mercy in the ring.

Me neither.

I'll break your nose.

I'll kill you.

Excellent! Well said!

This will be our headline tomorrow.

Say that again.

-I'll kill you. -Excellent!

SUICIDAL

Bullshit. Delivery Boy isn't suicidal.

And I'll measure up to my reputation.

I'll show you in a month what Ancient Chinese Boxing can do.

A grueling training will start tomorrow.

Let's go.

Don't stand behind me, this is not Brokeback Mountain.

You said let's go.

This way, asshole. No pictures.

Sorry, excuse us.

If you don't die after three rounds, consider it a loss for me.

I promise that after the competition,

I'll still be standing.

Wait! Let's take a few more.

-Don't go just yet! -Li, don't mind that lunatic!

He's full of shit. Put on the ring.

I think I can't...

Why? You don't trust me?

I do, but...

Whatever happens,

let's go to my place tonight. We need to talk, all right?

Give me some time.

-Vivian. -Yes?

-Let's go. -Sure.

Let's go.

Can you really kill him? Don't overpromise.

Shut up!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have news.

The Devilish Muscle Man has begun the grueling drill as we speak.

We waste no time in bringing you a live update.

It's spooky and ghastly.

Let's have a look around.

-The fish balls are great! -Really?

Try it!

-Well? -Very bouncy.

What about your grueling training?

It is ongoing!

-Have you eaten? -No.

-Take a seat. -Come on, sit down!

-More goose intestines? -Do you like it?

-Yes! -Two more goose intestines, please!

Are you filming us? We should get paid!

-Where's my pork liver? -At the bottom, I guess.

No! I just put it in.

-Did you eat it? -No!

-I swear. -Don't give me that.

-What's this? -Why is the liver in my pocket?

There's a limit to my patience.

I see it...

How's the drill?

They're having hotpot.

Hotpot?

Yes, they ordered goose intestines,

a lot of fish balls and hard boiled eggs.

Allegedly it can reduce the loss of fluid.

Let's have hotpot tonight and try the eggs...

Shut up!

What are they up to?

We have two more weeks to go.

How is He Jin Yin getting on with his training?

Let's take a look.

Don't run...

They're really just fooling around!

Either they have gone mad,

or this is a conspiracy.

I don't care what they're doing.

I'll beat him.

True love is hard to find

My heart is fragile

Looking for love...

We'll just sit and observe.

You don't really need me tonight, right?

Says who? I heard someone will be killed tonight.

You better be prepared.

-No way! -Why not?

When He Jin Yin goes down and we rush him to the hospital,

make sure you get close-ups of him.

I want to see blood gushing out.

What if he's dead?

You'll get a raise, I'll get a promotion.

We'll celebrate with a champagne. Yeah!

In this match between David and Goliath, will there be mercy?

We'll do our best in the ring.

The opponent's performance doesn't matter.

Will you kill him by accident?

No comment.

Rumor has it you're pushing for death to boost TV ratings, is that true?

That's a lie, it's impossible.

Your opponent seems ill prepared, is this a ploy?

Has he completed his training?

What happens if you lose?

With a body like yours,

will you consider making a porn film?

I will never do that!

I'll only make martial arts films.

Take it easy...

Wait!

Sorry...

The world is full of morons.

Those were stupid questions.

How can we lose?

It is obvious who will win...

What is He Jin Yin up to?

Are you all right?

Where's Li? Is she here?

Don't tell me you're scared... Not now.

I put all my money on you.

No, I better withdraw a few thousand...

Who's afraid?

Get ready, you're up in two minutes.

Even though all of us

bet on Duan Shui Liu to win,

we're actually rooting for you.

We made you a robe. It took us all night.

Thanks. Before I get in the ring,

I'd like to see Li.

I've already checked, she isn't here yet.

Are you ready?

Round one begins!

I'm scared, Vivian.

Don't be, there's still one more minute.

-Perfect timing. -I don't want them to fight.

Aren't you rooting for Duan Shui Liu?

No, I must tell Yin to forfeit.

-What? -What's going on?

This can't be happening!

-Are you serious? Not now! -Don't do that.

Anyone out there! Help!

-Open up! -Li!

HAPPY BOXING CHAMPIONSHIP

ANCIENT CHINESE BOXING

The Happy Boxing Championship now begins!

First one out is Japanese Karate expert, Duan Shui Liu,

nicknamed The Killing Machine.

Karate is about destruction, and karate experts train

every part of their bodies to be destructive,

with moves such as breaking ice,

chopping wood,

splitting tiles,

and breaking bottles.

Duan Shui Liu is particularly outstanding.

His punch has enough power

to smash a watermelon.

That's right! Talk is cheap.

Get your cameras ready and see for yourself.

Next up from the Ancient Chinese Boxing school,

Delivery Boy. His master Devilish Muscle Man

is the arch enemy of karate.

According to our sources, other than making a mean cup of tea,

Delivery Boy hasn't learnt much kung fu.

That's why this duel was considered a suicidal attempt.

What prompted him to do this is still a mystery.

MUST KILL

From the ferocious look on his face, he seems to have something up his sleeve.

Now, it's an even greater mystery.

-You're amazing. I'm backing you! -Thank you, Auntie.

Watch it! I bet all my money on you that you'll go down in Round one.

Please step down...

Remember to go down in Round one.

I'll do my best.

Let's welcome our two contestants.

They will carry on for three rounds.

In case we can't take any pictures later,

let's take a good one now while they're both alive.

Pose and say cheese!

Good...

This way.

Votes from the press are here in my hand.

Delivery Boy wins the Best Costume Award.

Now...

Chief Duan Shui Liu will give out the award.

-Chief, smile for the camera. -Congratulations.

Smile! That's right.

Thanks!

The match will be gruesome.

Mr. He deserves the award. Let's take a picture.

Looks like they are ready to go.

Slaughter seems inevitable.

The match has begun.

Duan Shui Liu is like a tiger out of a cage.

They're fighting ferociously. A punch after another...

Hey...

Why did he turn his back?

Must be some trick.

In terms of skill, you're no match for him.

What I'm teaching you

is the highest realm of Ancient Chinese Boxing.

Psychological warfare. We'll wine and dine for a month.

The merrier our parties, the more he'll be suspicious.

If you turn your back on him,

I guarantee that for Round one, he won't come near you.

He's luring me over.

But I shouldn't be afraid of him.

I'll tough it out.

Damn! Did he see through the trick?

What are they doing?

Say something, commentator!

I can't comment if they don't move!

Camera, focus on the commentator. Make up something.

If you get me fired, I'll kill you.

-What can I say? -Use this!

The Dragon Saber?

What's wrong with you? Keep talking!

Come on! Hurry!

-I can't believe this! -Come on!

The Lion King, no...

Duan Shui Liu strikes with Qi Shang Fist

which is deadly.

This is outrageous!

I don't know what I'm saying!

Just keep up the bullshit!

Zhang Wu Ji... I mean Delivery Boy

fights back with the Magic Move

and dissipated the Qi Shang Fist.

What? Magic Move?

Delivery Boy bellowed and begins to strike.

Look how swiftly he's moving in the ring,

Duan Shui Liu can't even tell which one is the real Delivery Boy.

He frowned and made up his mind.

He took a step forward with his left foot,

and yelled out to his Master,

summoning the dead to his assistance.

Don't worry! I have another one.

Duan Shui Liu fell into Delivery Boy's arms.

He closed his eyes.

His tender lips slightly opened,

breathing out... Jin Ping Mei?

Don't worry... keep reading.

-What is he talking about? -He has fallen for him.

Delivery Boy holds him at the waist, and with his other hand,

he feels the supple skin around his tender chest.

Duan Shui Liu can't take it anymore.

-He feels that... -Shut up!

What the hell are you saying?

I'm talking to you!

You left me no choice.

You weren't moving.

How can we carry on the broadcast?

Some reporter you are! How the fuck do you run a show?

How we run a show is none of your business.

-Idiot. -Stop it.

-Do me a favor, stop the yelling. -Did you hear him? The fucking bastard...

What the hell? I'm just doing my job. How can you blame me?

Forget it, stop arguing.

Whose side are you on now?

Time's up!

End of Round one.

Yeah...

Are you all right?

I'm scared! So scared.

Don't worry!

Chief.

I know.

He was tricking me by turning his back.

I'll hit him from behind later.

JUDGES

This Delivery Boy is courageous.

What are you up to now?

Hey, isn't this a foul?

He's tossing a hammer. And a knife!

So what? He's out of the ring.

He might stab me.

We'll deal with it when he does.

The law will punish him.

Just get on with the fight.

It's so boring.

If you get through Round one, he'll get restless.

In Round two, we'll go one step further. Intimidate him.

What's this? I'll kill you.

See that! Duan Shui Liu is hit!

It can't be true. Referee, did you see that?

Stay out of trouble, cripple! Or I'll come down and get you.

Don't blame me then!

Duan Shui Liu is hit again!

-Why doesn't he fight back? -He's been kicked.

Anything else? Give it!

Can we cease now?

Master! It seems I'm wounded.

Don't worry, the durian is not poisonous.

Damn!

Commercial break! Clear the stage.

Yang Yin Pill, warm like the sun

Why is there no sound?

Perhaps no battery.

-Can't be! -Are you trapped inside?

Yes! What's wrong with you? We've been in here for half an hour!

Fine! We'll let you wait another half an hour.

No! Please let us out!

-The sun is out... -The sun is out...

This is the last round.

Kill him quickly.

That'll only take a second.

Look at that garbage!

He's nothing! Everything is just an act!

Don't say that!

Every morning,

I see him on a high speed truck

swinging around like a lunatic.

Could that be some special skill?

Skill my ass! Get lost!

He doesn't scare me!

Is this a foul?

Of course.

This pose is obscene. There are kids watching this show.

Delivery Boy is clamped down by the chief.

-You're mistaken. -Delivery Boy is in control.

Yin!

Since your skills can't match his,

the only way is to prevent him from attacking you.

I'll teach you the perfect defensive move in Chinese boxing, the Clamp.

We must practice with a truck.

The key of this move can be summarized with one word, lock!

Lock him in position...

Let go of me, garbage!

I'm not garbage!

Asshole!

Let go!

I can't take it anymore.

I can't take it anymore.

Don't run!

Not again!

You're the garbage!

Yeah! Good work!

Yeah...

Be careful!

Asshole!

I'll get rid of you!

Let go!

Let go!

Hold on, Delivery Boy!

Don't let go!

-Don't let go! -Don't let go!

Please let me go...

Please look at the camera, Chief.

Shut the hell up.

I know how you feel.

But I can't let go.

Help!

I can't do it anymore.

Full power lethal kick.

Round three is over!

I'm alive!

After three rounds, he's still standing. It's a miracle!

He's like Rocky!

You did well, Chief!

I'm so happy!

What are you?

After three rounds, the judges have come to a consensus.

Duan Shui Liu is the winner!

I bet with all my money that he'd die, but you didn't kill him. What the hell!

Hooray…

I thought you'd really kill him.

You're not that good after all.

I must sing a song to thank everyone for their support.

A real hero...

Hurry! It's him over there!

Yin!

Please sing with me!

Li!

Yin!

Li!

This time I must kiss you.

-I'm wounded. -My teeth have been knocked out.

Give me a kiss too.

Li, I'm alive.

I'm so relieved!

Actually...

-What? -You garbage!

Bluffing me with tricks.

Of all the fights I've done, none of my opponents can stand up.

You're no exception.

I must kill you tonight!

Where are you going?

Why don't you congratulate me?

I told you to stay away from that garbage.

What? You hit me?

Stop!

You already won, leave him alone!

How dare you have no respect for me?

Come back, He Jin Yin!

Don't get carried away. There's always someone stronger.

He Jin Yin has a good strategy.

You should admit defeat.

You've won and yet you want to destroy him.

That's too much!

Whoever disapproves me, I dare you to fight me.

Members of Eagle Claw, get up!

EAGLE CLAW SECT

BA GUA SECT WHITE CRANE AND BA GUA

Fine! I'll take you on!

I'll show you what the Killing Machine looks like.

Charge...

-This is ridiculous! -What's ridiculous?

Quickly get a taxi and go home.

-We won't fit. -Five of us will fit just right.

-Yes... -Are you all right, Yin?

I'm fine.

Now there are six. Boss, you're on your own!

Hey...

Director, are you all right?

Kid.

-Be forgiving... -Shut up.

Do we stop filming?

Are you crazy? I've been waiting all night for action like this.

Go according to plan.

Get ready for lucky draw.

Don't be silly.

You're no match for him.

There's one last thing... Get me a ladder.

How many times have I told you?

There's no such thing as Invincible Fireball.

I know I'm right.

Even if you are, where can you find the ladder?

-I found it. -Where?

Here.

Is it too long?

Ladies and gentlemen...

Last but not least...

Lucky Wheel lucky draw.

Lucky draw?

I wish I'll win.

Yes...

Lucky draw? Let's play with the lucky wheel.

Yin!

Let go!

Come out, He Jin Yin!

Here I am! Come here.

Let's see who's garbage now!

Come on, garbage! I dare you to fight me.

Invincible Fireball.

-Yin... -Don't...

-Yin... -Run!

Are you OK?

You can't beat me so easily. Karate is invincible.

You'll always be garbage.

You're garbage! Garbage!

Save your breath. Quit the act.

You saw through me. I admit it...

You won!

Incredible!

But you broke the Lucky Wheel. You must pay for it!

Incredible!

-Where did you learn that? -From my master.

No! He invented it!

You're a true warrior.

I was right about you. I'm so proud!

Thanks to you, Master.

Don't say that!

I seek no publicity. I'm the Devilish Muscle Man.

When Yin first came to me,

he was a fool.

If I hadn't...

-Move... -Hey!

Mr. Delivery Boy.

You did a great thing for the people.

It's my duty as a citizen.

Doing charity work is my interest.

I help old ladies cross the street.

-Really? -I do that once a week.

On public holidays,

I even do it two or three times.

Listen, it's because he ate the pineapple rice at Wing Kee.

There are real pineapples in it.

Our meat ball soup is the real shit.

I bet you don't believe me.

Niu, show us some shit.

-Stop messing around here! -What are you doing?

-Tell us, what are your plans? -Me?

What I want the most is for Li to accompany me to see

Leon Lai's concert tomorrow night.

I went through great trouble to get the tickets.

Li? Where are you?

Li...

Li.

-Take a picture. -Hurry...

Li, I want to...

Shut up and kiss me!