Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

MODERN ASTROLOGY IS BASED ON THE NATAL CHART,

WHICH IS ESSENTIALLY A GALACTIC SNAPSHOT

OF THE UNIVERSE AND THE ALIGNMENT OF THE PLANETS

AND STARS RELATIVE TO YOUR LOCATION ON EARTH

THE EXACT MOMENT OF YOUR BIRTH.

[ crying ]

THE CORE BELIEF IS THAT THIS INFORMATION

IS THEN INTERPRETED USING THE 12 ZODIAC SIGNS

AS INDICATORS OF BEHAVIOR

TO PREDICT INDIVIDUAL PERSONALITY TRAITS.

RIDICULOUS.

[ laughs ] I ALMOST BELIEVED.

ALMOST.

ASTROLOGY, A PROPAGANDA CAMPAIGN OF BULLSHIT.

[ dryer buzzes ]

YOUR PRESENTATION COUNTS FOR 40% OF YOUR FINAL GRADE,

SO BE SURE TO CLEARLY ILLUSTRATE

YOUR TOPIC'S SOCIAL RELEVANCE WITHIN POP CULTURE.

NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US.

I KNEW YOU WERE CONCERNED.

- SORRY TO INTERRUPT. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS,

AND PRESENTATIONS ARE ON MONDAY.

I KNOW, SORRY. I CAN'T STAY.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE VITAL IMPORTANCE

OF ETHICS, MR. GIBSON.

EVERY DECISION WE MAKE

HAS SOME ETHICAL COMPONENT TO IT.

LIKE YOUR DECISION

TO LEAVE CLASS EARLY...

EVEN THOUGH YOU MUST SUCCESSFULLY PASS IT

IN ORDER TO GRADUATE.

I COMPLETELY AGREE.

♪

OKAY. MOVING ON.

WHEW.

♪ YOU SAY YOU WILL STAY

♪ FORGOT WHAT I CAME HERE FOR

♪ THERE'S SOME SIGNS ON THE ROAD ♪

♪ TELLING ME I'M FAR FROM HOME ♪

♪ THE TRENCHES OUT HERE

♪ MYSELF, I DISAPPEAR

♪

♪ YOUR FRIENDS, THEY WERE SO CLOSE ♪

♪

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AS WE PREPARE FOR TAKE-OFF,

PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR SEATBELTS ARE SECURELY FASTENED

AND TRAY TABLES ARE IN THEIR UPRIGHT AND LOCKED POSITION.

WE SHOULD BE TAKING OFF SHORTLY.

♪ ONE OF THESE DAYS

ALL RIGHT.

SO, UM, WHERE TO START?

ALL RIGHT, WELL, 75% PERCENT OF ALL NEWSPAPERS

IN THE UNITED STATES HAVE A DAILY HOROSCOPE COLUMN.

ACCORDING TO FOX NEWS, 29% PERCENT OF AMERICANS

SAY THAT THEY BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY,

EVEN THOUGH THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY

STILL CLASSIFIES ASTROLOGY AS SUPERSTITION

AND NOT AN ACTUAL FORM OF SCIENCE.

YET THE POPULATION KEEPS BELIEVING.

[ alarm clock buzzing ]

[ groans ]

SO, WHY ASTROLOGY?

IT ALL STARTED ON MY BIRTHDAY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY.

MMM, I DON'T WANNA GO TO WORK.

I WANNA STAY HERE.

[ flushing ]

♪ THESE AMERICAN DREAMS

♪ THESE GIANT TELEVISION SCREENS ♪

♪ THESE PLANES THAT CAN'T BE SEEN ♪

♪ FLYING OVER EVERYTHING

♪ THIS BROKEN FACTORY THIS COCA-COLA RECIPE ♪

♪THIS COUNTERFEITING MACHINE COUNTERFEITING EVERYTHING ♪

♪ THIS INDUSTRY, THESE ECONOMICS ♪

♪THESE MAGAZINES, THESE MARVEL COMICS ♪

♪ THE NEXT TIME HALEY'S COMET COMES I'LL BE TURNING 93 ♪

♪ NOW, TELESCOPES, THEY DON'T TELL LIES ♪

♪ AND GALAXIES DON'T GIVE ADVICE ♪

♪ ENDLESSLY EXPANDING, GROWING COLDER, GROWING OLDER ♪

♪ JUST LIKE ME

MAJOR PLANETS GATHER AT YOUR MID-HEAVEN TODAY

SPOTLIGHTING YOUR CAREER.

- HOW ARE YA? - GOOD, GOOD.

YOUR HIGH PROFILE SHOULD ATTRACT

AN EQUALLY SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP PATHWAY

- INTO YOUR ORBIT TODAY. - [ moaning ]

IN ADDITION,

YOUR HOME AND PERSONAL LIFE WILL REVEAL GOALS

WELL WITHIN YOUR GRASP.

TAKE YOUR LIFE TO NEW HEIGHTS

AS YOU EMBARK ON A FIVE-STAR DAY.

[ ding ]

♪ THERE AIN'T NOTHING YOU CAN DO ♪

- ♪YOUR FOLKS WERE RIGHT ♪ - GOOD MORNING.

♪YOUR FOLKS WERE RIGHT ♪

♪YOUR FOLKS WERE RIGHT ♪

AH.

[ phone ringing ]

HELLO.

HEY, DID YOU TOUCH MY BOARD?

NO, I HAVE NO IDEA

WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

YEAH, RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, WHEN EINSTEIN

DEVELOPED HIS FAMOUS THEORY OF RELATIVITY,

HE WORKED FULL-TIME AS A CLERK IN A PATENT OFFICE.

DON'T TOUCH MY BOARD.

MM-HMM.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BY THE WAY, OLD MAN.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

OH, HEY, INSTEAD OF GETTING ME A PRESENT THIS YEAR,

I WOULD REALLY LOVE A NORMAL ROOMMATE.

YEAH, THAT'LL HAPPEN WHEN YOU STOP TAKING A LEAK WITH THE SEAT DOWN.

OH, HEY, DON'T FORGET TO ACT SURPRISED TONIGHT.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

- [ phone beeps ] - [ button clicks ]

YEP.

MR. PETERSON WANTS TO SEE YOU.

ON MY WAY.

- HEY, JAKE. - HEY.

COME ON IN, BUDDY.

SHUT THE DOOR FOR ME, WILL YA?

OH, I HATE CONTROVERSY,

SO I AM GONNA MAKE THIS REALLY SWEET,

REALLY, REALLY SIMPLE.

UM, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE AWARE OR NOT,

BUT CORPORATE SAYS THAT WE HAVE TO CUT

14% OUTTA THE BUDGET THIS QUARTER.

AND UNFORTUNATELY, YOUR DEPARTMENT

WAS IN THE CROSSHAIRS, MY FRIEND, WHICH IS GRIM.

OH, WOW, THAT IS NOT A GOOD SWING.

SO, I HAVE TO LET YOU GO.

BUT, UH, I DO HAVE A TWO-WEEK SEVERANCE PACKAGE

FOR YA EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.

AND, UH, ALSO, YOU KNOW, AFTER THAT TIME JAKE,

IF YOU WANNA FILE FOR UNEMPLOYMENT, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.

GO AHEAD AND FILE 'CAUSE YOU'VE EARNED IT, BUDDY.

OH, THAT WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD.

I LIKE THAT ONE.

WHAT ABOUT SCHOOL?

I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT SCHOOL, JAKE.

JUST CALL HR. THEY'LL LET YOU KNOW.

BUT YOU'RE YOUNG, YOU'RE BRIGHT, YOU KNOW?

TAKE A TRIP. GO ON VACATION.

HEY, YOU WANT A SHOT? HIT A FEW.

JAKE!

WHAT THE HELL?

- JAKE! - GRRR!

[ panting ]

NO, THANKS. YOU GO AHEAD.

ALL RIGHT.

MAJOR PLANETS GATHER AT YOUR MID-HEAVEN TODAY,

SPOTLIGHTING YOUR CAREER.

YOUR HIGH PROFILE SHOULD ATTRACT AN EQUALLY

SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP PATHWAY INTO YOUR ORBIT TODAY.

[ phone ringing ]

[ line ringing ]

[ beep ]

[ knocking ]

COME IN.

[ ding ]

BABE?

♪ I HEARD YOU RING

♪YOU DIDN'T LEAVE YOUR VOICE ♪

♪ I GOT THE MESSAGE

♪ YOU WANTED ME

MODERN ASTROLOGY IS BASED ON THE NATAL CHART.

THE CORE BELIEF IS THAT THIS INFORMATION IS THEN INTERPRETED

USING THE 12 ZODIAC SIGNS.

ASTROLOGY, A PROPAGANDA CAMPAIGN OF BULLSHIT.

[ panting ]

♪ YOU GOT WHAT WAS LEFT OF ME ♪

SINCE WHEN DO YOU SMOKE?

JAKE, IT JUST HAPPENED.

IT NEVER JUST HAPPENS.

YOU STILL HERE?

[ door closes ]

SURPRISE!

[ laughter ]

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR JAKE

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO...

[ retching ]

[ flushing ]

OH! WHAT THE--?

COME ON, WHAT THE--?

[ line ringing ]

911 EMERGENCY.

YEAH, HEY, I'M NOT EVEN SURE IF THIS IS AN EMERGENCY,

BUT MY, UH, WATER PIPE JUST BROKE IN MY BATHROOM

AND I HAVE, UH, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO.

- WATER'S EVERYWHERE RIGHT NOW. - OKAY, OKAY. WHOA, WHOA, STOP.

LISTEN, THERE SHOULD BE A MAIN SHUT-OFF VALVE IN THE BUILDING.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE MAINTENANCE ROOM IS?

OKAY, YEAH, YEAH, WHOA.

JUST BREATHE. IT'S OKAY.

DON'T PANIC, DON'T PANIC.

IT SHOULD BE RED

AND HAVE SOME SORT OF SIGN NEAR IT.

OH, YEAH...

AH, THERE IT IS!

I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

MY NAME IS JAKE GIBSON.

I WAS BORN FEBRUARY 6th, 1982, AT 10:32 P.M.

AT ST. JOSEPH'S HOSPITAL, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS.

THREE OTHER PEOPLE WERE ALSO BORN ON THE SAME NIGHT,

AT THE SAME HOSPITAL, WITHIN MINUTES OF 10:32 P.M.

HERE WE GOT SARAH REYNOLDS, YVETTE MONTGOMERY,

AND WESLEY HENDERSON.

THE INTERNET IS KIND OF AN AMAZING THING.

SO, BASED ON THE THEORY OF ASTROLOGY,

ALL FOUR OF US SHARE THE EXACT SAME HOROSCOPE,

AND THEREFORE WE SHOULD ALL SHARE THE EXACT SAME FATE.

AND THAT'S BULLSHIT.

FOUR PEOPLE, ONE HOROSCOPE.

FIRST UP, SARAH REYNOLDS.

[ honking ]

[ line ringing ]

Child: HELLO, LUCY SPEAKING. HELLO?

YEAH, UH, IS SARAH THERE?

Woman: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT PLAYING WITH THE BUZZER?

Child: BUT, MOMMY...

[ dial tone ]

[ line ringing ]

HELLO?

DELIVERY.

COME ON UP.

[ buzzes ]

STAND UP, PLEASE. HOLD ON.

WHO IS IT?

YEAH, I, UH, I'M LOOKING FOR SARAH REYNOLDS.

STAY THERE.

I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.

IF YOU'RE NOT OUT OF HERE IN 30 SECONDS,

I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS. OKAY?

NO, NO, NO, IT'S -- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

[ door slams ]

I JUST HAVE...

Lucy: YOU'RE CRAZY.

Sarah: IT WAS THE MAILMAN GONE AWRY!

♪ HEY

[ beep ]

SARAH REYNOLDS.

CHICAGO.

INITIAL MEETING DID NOT GO AS PLANNED.

UNDERSTATEMENT.

♪ HEY

SHIT.

♪ WHAT'S GOING ON

♪ IN YOUR EYES

♪ I SEE YOU SMILING

♪ SUNLIGHT

♪ POURING THROUGH THE CLOUDS

♪ DAYLIGHT

♪ SHINING ALL AROUND

LUCE!

♪ I AM

♪ RUNNING THROUGH THE CROWD

WHOA! CAREFUL.

♪ TRYING TO

♪ KEEP UP WITH THE NOW

♪HEY ♪

♪ WHAT'S GOING ON

YOU OKAY? LET'S TRY IT.

ALL RIGHT, READY?

ALL RIGHT, SWING TO THE NEXT ONE!

SWING TO THE NEXT ONE! SWING TO THE NEXT ONE!

♪ I HEAR YOU SINGING

♪ DAYLIGHT

THERE YOU GO.

WANNA DO SOMETHING ELSE?

UM, YEAH, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER.

GO PLAY, GET YOUR WILDS OUT.

♪

YEAH.

IT'S GONNA BE TEN FOR BOTH.

LOOK, YOU DIDN'T EVEN LET ME EXPLAIN.

WAIT A SECOND.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

ST. JOSEPH'S HOSPITAL, FEBRUARY 6th, 1982, AT 10:30 P.M.

LOOK, BUDDY, YOU CAN'T BE IN HERE.

JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE! PLEASE!

I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS,

AND IF YOU DO NOT TELL WHOEVER YOU'RE WORKING FOR

TO LEAVE ME ALONE, I AM GONNA CALL THE COPS.

- WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! - AARON.

WHO IS AARON?

YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR AARON?

NO.

THEN WHY...

WHY DID YOU COME TO MY HOUSE?

THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING...

WE -- WE WERE BOTH BORN

AT ST. JOSEPH'S HOSPITAL FEBRUARY 6th, 1982,

WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER.

I'M TRYING TO DISPROVE THE THEORY OF ASTROLOGY

FOR MY ETHICS CLASS.

I HAVE, UH, SARAH REYNOLDS,

JAKE GIBSON, YVETTE MONTGOMERY,

AND, UH, A WESLEY HENDERSON.

OKAY?

WE WERE ALL BORN AT THE SAME TIME AND THE SAME PLACE.

AND I'M JAKE, BY THE WAY.

IT'S OKAY. YEAH, IT'S FINE WITH ME.

YOU SURE?

YEAH, I CAN HANDLE IT. THANK YOU.

I'M SORRY ABOUT FREAKING YOU OUT AND EVERYTHING.

IT'S OKAY. IT'S BEEN A ROUGH WEEK.

YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.

I'M NOT CRAZY.

I'LL EVEN SHOW YOU MY RESEARCH PAPERS, IF YOU WANT.

LOOK, I...

I JUST NEED TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS,

THAT'S IT.

DOCUMENT WHAT HAPPENED ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, AND THEN YOU'RE DONE.

MY BIRTHDAY? YEAH, NOT INTERESTED.

NO, NO, NO, NO. PLEASE, PLEASE.

LOOK, LOOK.

IN ORDER TO DISPROVE ASTROLOGY,

I NEED TO COMPARE ALL OF OUR EXPERIENCES ON THE SAME DAY,

AND A PERSON'S STRONGEST ZODIAC DAY

OF THE YEAR IS THEIR BIRTHDATE.

IT'S TOO PERSONAL.

YOU GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.

COME ON! FOR ALL I KNOW,

YOU'RE SOME KIND OF STALKER OR SOMETHING.

♪

- GOOD EVENING, SIR. - HELLO.

I'VE BEEN BUSTING MY ASS AT WORK

FOR, WHAT, SIX YEARS NOW?

AND FOR WHAT, EXACTLY?

TO BE ABLE TO PRACTICE MY GOLF SWING ON COMPANY TIME?

THE MONEY ONE HAS, GIVES YOU FREEDOM;

THE MONEY ONE PURSUES, ENSLAVES YOU.

JEAN JACQUES ROUSSEAU.

HOW'S YOUR HOTEL?

REALLY NICE, ACTUALLY.

COULD USE A BETTER MINI BAR.

SO, HOW'S IT GOING?

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO IT.

- WHICH ONE? - SARAH REYNOLDS.

IN ORDER TO DRAW CONCISE CONCLUSIONS,

ONE MUST HAVE ACCURATE DATA.

I MEAN, I... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

GOT ANY IDEAS?

YEAH, IT'S SIMPLE. YOU GOTTA GO BACK.

YOU HAVE TO TALK TO HER.

YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW, YOU'RE TOTALLY RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, MAN, GOOD LUCK.

YEAH, SAME TO YOU. LATER.

[ beep ]

[ sighs ]

YEAH.

RIGHT, THIS WHOLE "I'M NOT A STALKER" THING,

IT'S NOT REALLY WORKING OUT.

YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW, I'M SORRY. I COULDN'T SLEEP.

AND I WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU GOT HOME SAFE.

IT'S LATE, AND IT'S A DANGEROUS NEIGHBORHOOD.

YOU COULD BE DANGEROUS.

TRUE. I COULD.

BUT I'M NOT.

ONE CUP OF COFFEE, PLEASE?

YOU SHOULDN'T SMOKE.

IT'S BAD FOR YOU.

HMM.

THAT'S WHY I QUIT.

UGH. WHAT TIME IS IT?

WE COULD DO APPLE PIE, EVEN.

I CAN'T, I JUST -- I GOTTA GO.

COME ON, A CUP OF COFFEE, THAT'S IT. PLEASE, LISTEN.

I'M DESPERATE HERE, OKAY?

IF I DON'T PASS THIS CLASS, I DON'T GRADUATE.

JUST A FEW QUESTIONS, PLEASE.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME.

AND WHO KNOWS? IT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT TO YOU, TOO.

I MUST BE CRAZY. FOLLOW ME.

♪

HEY, SARAH.

HI, PATTY, HOW'S IT GOING?

AH, PRETTY GOOD. YOU?

[ sighs ] IT'S BEEN A LONG NIGHT.

IT'S GOOD.

MAYBE THIS'LL WARM YOU UP.

- THERE YA GO. - THANK YOU.

HE DRIVES A MERCEDES OR A BMW?

I DON'T KNOW. YOUR WIFE IS A PROBLEM.

PORSCHE TURBO. DEFINITELY.

INTERESTING.

YEAH, MAYBE THAT'S HIS WIFE.

OR HIS DAUGHTER.

OR HIS DAUGHTER, YEAH.

SO, IS THAT GONNA BE YOU ONE DAY?

I DO DRIVE A PORSCHE.

IT'S A 1976 914 I PAID LESS THAN THREE GRAND FOR.

OH, WELL, NOT ENTIRELY.

THAT WAS UP UNTIL IT WAS STOLEN YESTERDAY.

- HEY. - I GOT IT. LET'S GO!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. HEY!

GET BACK HERE!

[ growls ]

SORRY TO HEAR.

MM-HMM, SO I THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY,

AS BAD AS YOUR DAY WAS,

I GOT YOU BEAT.

IT'S KIND OF HARD TO BELIEVE.

I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.

IF I CAN MAKE YOU SMILE,

YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY.

IF I SMILE FIRST,

I WILL WALK OUT THAT DOOR

AND NEVER BOTHER YOU AGAIN.

LIKE A STARING CONTEST? YOU KNOW...

- YEAH. - SO, WHAT ARE THE RULES?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

UM, YOU CAN'T LOOK AWAY, AND YOU CAN'T SMILE.

YOU FORGET I HAVE A THREE-YEAR OLD.

OH...

BUT SURE, LET'S PLAY.

EITHER WAY, I'LL PICK UP THE TAB.

AHEM!

- WE STARTED? THIS IS--? - YEAH, NOW WE ARE.

WE CAN BLINK, RIGHT?

SORRY FOR THE WAIT.

SHOULD I COME BACK?

NO, ACTUALLY.

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I WERE JUST WONDERING

IF YOU WOULD BE INTERESTED

IN HAVING A THREESOME WITH US,

A MENAGE A TROIS, IF YOU WILL.

YEAH.

HE'S JOKING. IT'S NOT...

DON'T LISTEN TO HER.

SHE'S SHY ABOUT THIS KIND OF THING.

ACTUALLY, WE ARE HERE ON OUR THREE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY,

AND WE FIGURED YOU LOOKED LIKE THE TYPE OF GIRL

THAT LIKES TO GET DOWN AND PARTY. HEE HEE HEE!

HE'S JOKING, IT'S JUST...

MM-HMM.

THAT'S A WINNER RIGHT THERE.

- WELL, YOU CHEATED. - NO.

I DIDN'T SAY WE COULDN'T TALK.

I SAID I WOULDN'T SMILE.

YES! ALL RIGHT.

I AM JUST ABOUT... READY.

WELL, MY BIRTHDAY SUCKED.

YOU KNOW, I'VE MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES IN MY LIFE,

SOME BAD DECISIONS,

YOU KNOW, BAD CHOICES.

BUT LUCY -- THAT'S MY DAUGHTER --

WAS NEVER ONE OF THEM.

THIS BAD CHOICE, WHO I HADN'T SEEN IN TWO YEARS,

DECIDED TO CRASH MY BIRTHDAY.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

YOU CANNOT BE HERE RIGHT NOW.

IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.

NO, MY SOCIAL WORKER'S GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

LOOK, I NEED TO BORROW SOME MONEY.

IT'S NOT FOR DRUGS.

LOOK, I'M SERIOUS.

- YOU CANNOT BE HERE RIGHT NOW. - I'M SERIOUS, OKAY?

I OWE THIS GUY MONEY YOU DON'T WANT TO OWE MONEY TO.

WHAT'RE YOU DOING? YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS!

LOOK, I'M IN TROUBLE.

[ knocking ]

UH!

I'LL -- I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, OKAY?

AND IF YOU MESS WITH MY SOCIAL WORKER, I WILL KILL YOU.

LUCY? LUCY, COME HERE.

COME HERE. YOU OKAY?

[ knocking ]

OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

- HEY. - HEY. HI.

- HOW'S IT GOING? - OKAY.

WELL, COME ON IN. WE'RE JUST, UH...

WE'RE, UH...

[ door slams ]

I HAVE A SOCIAL WORKER TO SORT OF MONITOR...

MY ACTIONS WITH HER

BECAUSE IT HASN'T ALWAYS BEEN AS REGULAR AND SAFE.

SO...

SHE CHECKS ON WHETHER I'M BEING RESPONSIBLE

AND IF I AM AN ADEQUATE MOTHER.

HERE YA GO.

I'M SORRY, SARAH, BUT I HAVE TO REPORT THAT HE WAS HERE.

- BUT THEY MIGHT... - I KNOW.

I'M SORRY, BUT IT DIDN'T HELP THAT HE WAS WASTED.

I DIDN'T EVEN LET HIM IN.

HE PUSHED HIS WAY IN, I COULDN'T --

IT DOESN'T MATTER. WHEN I GOT HERE

HE WAS LESS THAN TEN FEET FROM LUCY, HIGH AS A KITE.

JUST TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO.

WELL, YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO APPEAR BEFORE THE BOARD

AND EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED.

COULD THEY TAKE HER?

I DON'T KNOW.

THEY COULD, I GUESS.

I DON'T REALLY DEAL WITH THE LEGAL DEPARTMENT.

ALL I'M SUPPOSED TO DO IS OBSERVE AND REPORT.

IT'S LIKE A WHOLE BATTLE NOW.

JUST MAKES EVERYTHING,

EVERYTHING, LIKE ME PICKING UP THIS FORK,

IT MAKES EVERYTHING MORE COMPLICATED.

MM-HMM.

AND THAT'S IT. THAT'S, YOU KNOW, MY BIRTHDAY.

WOW.

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE

THAT YOU ACTUALLY TOLD HER THAT SHE LOOKED LIKE A GIRL

THAT LIKED TO GET DOWN AND PARTY.

I COME HERE A LOT, YOU KNOW.

READY THIS TIME?

AND NO OFFENSE, BUT NEITHER OF YOU ARE MY TYPE.

YOU WANNA HEAR THE SPECIALS?

YES, PLEASE.

SO, YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO WALK YOU HOME?

COULD BE A LITTLE DANGEROUS.

NO, STALKER... YOU KNOW.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

DAMN IT.

WHO, UH, WHO TAKES CARE OF LUCY WHILE YOU'RE AT WORK?

MY MOM.

LET ME KNOW IF YOU FIND THE OTHER TWO PEOPLE.

I'D BE INTERESTED TO SEE, UM, WHAT THEY SAY, YOU KNOW?

♪ AND YOU FELL INTO THIS BED HEADFIRST ♪

♪ EYES WIDE AND DRUNKEN ♪

♪ YOUR ROCK 'N' ROLL SKIRT

♪ LOCKED INTO AN EVENING

♪ OF LONGING OR WORSE

♪ OH, THIS ROMANTIC CURSE

♪ THIS FORGOTTEN LAND MINE ♪

♪ WE WERE DOING SO WELL FOR SUCH A LONG TIME ♪

♪ YES, WE WERE DOING SO WELL ♪

♪ FOR SUCH A LONG, LONG TIME ♪

TV: RELATIONSHIP BEDROOM BATTLES --

THE FIGHT OVER WHO CONTROLS THE COVERS

OR HOW EARLY THE ALARM IS SET.

...A WHOLE OTHER ASPECT,

AND THAT IS FALLING ASLEEP TOGETHER...

[ clicks off ]

[ beep ]

OKAY, UM, SO...

THIS MORNING I MET YVETTE MONTGOMERY.

TURNS OUT SHE WORKS AT A YOUTH

DRUG REHABILITATION CENTER IN THE SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO.

P.A.: DR. BURROWS, PLEASE CALL...

HI, UM...

IS YVETTE MONTGOMERY WORKING TODAY?

WHO WANTS TO KNOW?

UM, I DO.

AND YOU ARE?

HER COUSIN.

REALLY.

YEAH.

YEAH?

YVETTE, COME TO THE FRONT.

YOUR COUSIN'S HERE TO SEE YOU.

IT'LL JUST BE A MINUTE.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

HERE TO TAKE HER OUT FOR HER BIRTHDAY.

- YEAH? - SURPRISE.

YVETTE, THIS IS YOUR COUSIN.

SORRY, I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR NAME.

- COUSIN, HUH? - SHIT.

- DO I KNOW YOU? - NO, YOU DON'T,

UM, AND I'M NOT YOUR COUSIN, OBVIOUSLY.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT, UM,

BUT I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING...

- OKAY. - IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.

WELL, I'M HERE TO LISTEN.

UM, OKAY. GOOD. ALL RIGHT.

WELL, IT'S AN INTERVIEW, ACTUALLY.

SIR, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? ARE YOU ON SOMETHING?

AM I -- [ laughs ] AM I ON SOME SORT OF -- ?

AND LET'S JUST SAY

THAT SHE TAKES HER JOB VERY SERIOUSLY.

♪

- [ arguing ] - ♪ MESSING AROUND

♪ LOOKING FOR FLOWERS AND DIAMONDS ♪

CODE RED!

♪ SPILLING OUR ICE CUBES ON THE LAWN ♪

DO YOU NOT SEE THIS?

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING, OKAY?

GUYS, BACK OFF, EVERYBODY.

BUT, YOU KNOW, IN THE END MY STORY DID CHECK OUT.

NOW I'M NOT SURE IF IT WAS BECAUSE

SHE FELT BAD FOR ASSUMING I WAS CRAZY

OR BECAUSE SHE REALLY THOUGHT THAT I WAS.

LOOK AT THIS STUFF RIGHT THERE.

BUT AFTER I GOT TO TELL HER EVERYTHING,

SHE FINALLY AGREED TO LET ME INTERVIEW HER, SO...

[ beep ]

OKAY, SO, WHENEVER YOU ARE READY.

UH, FIRST OFF, MY CAR'S IN THE SHOP.

I DON'T WANT THIS TO BE SOME SLANTED DOCUMENTARY

WHERE ALL BLACK PEOPLE RIDE THE TRAIN.

I PROMISE IT WILL NOT BE THAT.

I HAVE A CAR.

IT'S JUST... IT'S BROKEN RIGHT NOW.

LISTEN, YOU KNOW, WE DON'T HAVE TO USE THE CAMERA.

IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER TO ME.

IT'S, IT'S FINE.

[ beep ]

ALL RIGHT, MY NAME IS YVETTE MONTGOMERY.

I WAS BORN FEBRUARY 6th, 1982, AT 10:34 P.M.

AT ST. JOSEPH'S HOSPITAL, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS.

SAME PLACE AS YOU.

UM, I'M MARRIED WITH TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.

MY SON IS EIGHT AND MY DAUGHTER IS SIX.

AND I WORK THE OVERNIGHT SHIFT

AT A RESIDENTIAL YOUTH TREATMENT CENTER FOR TROUBLED TEENS.

[ beep ]

AFTER WORK,

I GET MY KIDS READY FOR SCHOOL AND PACK THEIR LUNCHES

AND SEND THEM ON THEIR WAY.

I SLEEP WHILE THEY'RE AT SCHOOL

AND WAKE UP IN TIME TO FIX DINNER.

THEN MY HUSBAND USUALLY COMES HOME

EXHAUSTED FROM A 10-HOUR SHIFT,

AND AFTER DINNER I HEAD BACK TO WORK

AND START IT ALL OVER.

OKAY, BUT WHAT HAPPENED ON YOUR ACTUAL BIRTHDAY?

UM...

[ sighs ] MY BIRTHDAY.

BABY, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I SO NEEDED THIS.

GOT A SITTER AND WENT OUT TO DINNER

WITH MY HUSBAND BEFORE WORK.

TYRONE MISSED CALL.

I HAD TO GO IN EARLY, THOUGH,

'CAUSE WE HAD A KID MISS CURFEW.

I NEED TO GO CHECK ON HIM, BABE.

I NEED TO MAKE SURE HE GETS IN.

- IS EVERYTHING OKAY? - UH, I'LL CALL YOU, OKAY?

THE RESTAURANT WAS RIGHT DOWN THE STREET FROM WHERE I WORK.

I WASN'T ORIGINALLY SCHEDULED TO GO IN TILL 10:00.

OH, MY GOD!

I DIDN'T EVEN SEE HIM.

OH, MY GOD.

T.! OH, MY GOD!

OH, MY -- OH, MY GOD!

UM, I'M AT, I'M AT THE CORNER. I JUST HIT --

OH, MY GOD, WHAT DID I DO?

[ dispatch radio buzzes, sirens wail ]

I WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.

IS HE GONNA BE OKAY?

A BROKEN ARM AND A SLIGHT CONCUSSION.

THE DOCTOR SAID HE WAS LUCKY.

THIS IS MY STOP.

TRANSFER TO METRO TRAINS AT LA SALLE AND VAN BUREN.

THIS IS AN ORANGE LINE TRAIN TO MIDWAY.

TAKE THE NEXT TRAIN.

IT'LL TAKE YOU BACK TO YOUR CAR.

OKAY.

OKAY.

UM, AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR PRESENTATION.

THANK YOU.

YEAH.

OH, AND HEY, TYRONE? IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

THEN WHY DOES IT STILL FEEL LIKE IT IS?

♪ YOU CAN BE HARMLESS

♪ AND I WILL BE SHAMELESS

♪ AND WE WILL FIND SOME KIND OF PLACE ♪

♪ THAT WOULD TAKE US IN ♪

♪ AND HAVE US BACK AGAIN ♪

♪ WILL TAKE US IN

♪ AND HAVE US BACK AGAIN ♪

♪ WE GOT STUCK IN THE MIDDLE ♪

♪ OF SOME MIDDLE ROAD

♪ IF NOTHING HAPPENS NOW

♪ THEN WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE ♪

♪ OH, ONCE THE WEATHER HAS CLEARED ♪

♪ I WANNA KNOW WHERE WE GO FROM HERE. WHOO! ♪

♪ WON'T YOU TAKE US IN AND HAVE US BACK AGAIN ♪

♪ OH, TAKE US IN AND HAVE US BACK AGAIN ♪

♪ OH, TAKE US IN AND HAVE US BACK ♪

♪ WAIT TILL THE WARM-UP'S UNDERWAY ♪

♪ WAIT TILL OUR LIPS HAVE MET ♪

♪ WAIT TILL YOU SEE THAT SUNSHINE DAY ♪

♪ YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET ♪

♪ THE BEST IS YET TO COME, AND, BABE, WON'T THAT BE FINE ♪

♪ THE BEST IS YET TO COME

♪ THE DAY YOU'RE MINE

♪ OH, THE DAY YOU'RE MINE

♪ WE'VE ONLY TASTED THE WINE ♪

♪ WE'RE GONNA DRAIN THAT BOTTLE DRY ♪

♪ I'M GONNA TEACH YOU TO FLY ♪

♪ HIGH

♪ WAIT TILL YOU CHARMS ARE RIPE ♪

♪ FOR THESE ARMS TO SURROUND ♪

♪ YOU THINK YOU'VE FLOWN BEFORE, BUT, BABY ♪

♪ YOU AIN'T LEFT THE GROUND ♪

♪ WAIT TILL YOU'RE LOCKED IN MY EMBRACE ♪

♪ WAIT TILL I DRAW YOU NEAR

♪ WAIT TILL YOU SEE THAT SUNSHINE PLACE ♪

♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' LIKE IT HERE ♪

♪ THE BEST IS YET TO COME

♪ AND, BABE, WON'T THAT BE FINE ♪

♪ THE BEST IS YET TO COME

♪ THE DAY YOU'RE MINE

♪ OH, THAT DAY YOU'RE MINE

WELL, THANKS A LOT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THAT'S IT FOR ME TONIGHT.

DRIVE FAST, TAKE CHANCES, DON'T DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO,

AND IF YOU DO, DO IT TWICE AND NAME IT AFTER ME.

I'M WES KNIGHTLY, AND WE'LL SEE YOU

TOMORROW NIGHT. THANK YOU.

[ applause ]

HEY.

THAT WAS A GOOD SHOW.

IT WAS A GREAT SHOW, REALLY.

- WELL, THANKS. - YEAH, NO PROBLEM.

ALL RIGHT, THIS IS GONNA SOUND WEIRD,

BUT I HAVE TO, UH...

CAN I GET YOU A DRINK, MAYBE?

- UH, YEAH. - YEAH?

I'LL MEET YOU AT THE BAR.

YEAH? WHAT DO YOU WANT?

A VODKA PRESS.

VODKA PRESS. I WILL, UH...

I'LL MEET YOU OVER THERE IN JUST A SEC.

YEAH, AT THE, AT THE BAR.

HMM.

- HEY THERE. - HEY.

NAME'S JAKE, BY THE WAY.

- I'M WES. - WES.

- NICE TO MEET YOU. - NICE TO MEET YOU.

- VODKA PRESS. - OH, YEAH, THANKS.

SO, I WALK DOWN THE HALL

AND FOLLOW THIS WHOLE CREW OF PEOPLE

INTO THIS HOTEL SUITE. YEAH, GO AHEAD.

AND, UH, I WALK IN THERE,

AND GUESS WHO'S STANDING THERE?

BONO AND THE EDGE OF U2.

NO WAY.

GWEN STEFANI FROM NO DOUBT WAS IN THERE,

NEIL DIAMOND WAS IN THERE.

UNBELIEV -- I HUNG OUT FOR, LIKE, AN HOUR AND A HALF.

THEY HAD NO IDEA WHO I WAS. IT WAS GREAT.

WOW, THAT IS A WILD STORY.

UNREAL. BONO AND THE FUCKING EDGE.

HEY, UH, YOU SMOKE?

I MEAN, I'M QUITTING, BUT...

COME ON, LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.

HEY, ON MY TAB, WILL YA?

NO, MAN!

NO, NO, COME ON.

JESUS.

[ laughs ]

EH.

IT'S YOUR LIFE. YOUR CALL.

EH!

[ coughing ]

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I SMOKED.

WELL, IT IS UNNATURAL

TO MAKE NATURE AGAINST THE LAW.

THAT'S WHAT I THINK.

[ laughs ]

YOU'VE GOT A GOOD VOICE.

- THANKS. - YEAH.

- SERIOUSLY, YOU DO. - THANKS, MAN.

- HEY, DO YOU LIKE JAZZ? - YES.

OH, HELLO.

MMM!

♪ I LOVE MY HULA GIRL

[ laughs ]

SO, UH, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO A.C.?

YOU.

ME?

BY THE WAY, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY.

WAIT, HOW'D YOU KNOW IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY?

BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN FEBRUARY 6th, 1982,

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, ST. JOSEPH'S HOSPITAL.

NO?

HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT?

BECAUSE, UM, SO WAS I.

GET THE FUCK OUT.

[ laughs ]

YOU GOT A GREEN LIGHT.

I'M EITHER REALLY HIGH, OR I'M TOTALLY CONFUSED.

I WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING, I PROMISE.

JUST THE FACT THAT WE HAD SHITTY FUCKING BIRTHDAYS,

THAT IS THE WEIRD PART, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

YEAH, THAT IS WEIRD.

I CAN'T EVEN -- ALL RIGHT, WHOA, HOLD ON.

OKAY, SHH. HOW WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY?

FINE.

WHAT?

IT WAS FINE.

- IT WAS FINE? - YEAH.

I JUST TREATED MYSELF TO A NICE EVENING OUT, YOU KNOW?

♪

GOOD TIMES.

SON OF A BITCH.

COME ON.

♪

WOW.

GEORGE.

WHAT'S UP?

HEY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

UH, WHATEVER YOU'RE HAVING IS FINE.

TWO.

- CHEERS. - CHEERS.

OH! WOW.

IMPRESSIVE, HUH?

WHY ATLANTIC CITY?

UH, VEGAS WAS TOO CROWDED.

SERIOUSLY.

UM, HEADED FOR BROADWAY, ENDED UP ON BOARDWALK.

MOST OF THESE GUYS, AS GREAT AS THEY ARE,

WILL PROBABLY NEVER MAKE A LIVING MAKING MUSIC.

REALLY?

THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.

SOMETIMES IT'S JUST ABOUT PLAYING.

[ vocalizing ]

Patron: YEAH!

THE SORTED ONES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

GIVE IT UP! GIVE IT UP, A.C.

COME ON NOW.

[ laughs ] YES.

[ beeping ]

OKAY.

- HAPPY BIRTHDAY. - THANK YOU.

COME ON!

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

IT'S YOUR ZODIAC SIGN.

MY ZODIAC SIGN.

IT'LL KEEP YOU IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER ZODIAC STRENGTHS.

THANK YOU.

IT'LL ALSO HELP YOU ALIGN YOUR INTERNAL ZODIAC SPIRIT

AND CENTER YOUR ASTROLOGICAL AWARENESS.

REALLY? MMM.

IT WORKS, TRUST ME.

- THERE HE IS. - HEY THERE.

SORRY. YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, I'M GOOD.

AH!

THANK YOU.

GOING THIS WAY.

SEE YA.

MMM!

YES.

YOU KNOW WHY ASTROLOGY IS BULLSHIT?

WHY?

SHE BELIEVES IN IT.

- YEAH? - MM-HMM.

AND I...

AM GOING TO MAKE HER STUPID FOR BELIEVING IN IT.

'CAUSE I AM NOT THE STUPID ONE,

HA HA, FOR NOT KNOWING THAT SHE...

WHOA! SON OF A GUN.

WE'RE GOOD, WE'RE GOOD HERE.

- I FELL AGAIN. - [ chuckles ]

COME ON. I THINK YOU DID.

YOH!

- OOPSY DAISY. - HEY, I GOT IT!

MAYBE SHE COULDN'T LOVE THROUGH ALL THE MEDICATION...

- YOU KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD? - ...THAT SHE WAS ON.

I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS.

IN THE '60s, EVERYBODY TOOK DRUGS TO MAKE THE WORLD

ALL PSYCHEDELIC AND WEIRD.

NOW THE WORLD IS ALL FUCKED UP

AND EVERYBODY'S TAKING DRUGS

TO MAKE IT ALL NORMAL AGAIN.

YES, AND YES. I HAVE TO GET MY CAMERA.

WE HAVE TO INTERVIEW YOU, YES!

HOLD UP.

STAND UP. AND HERE WE GO.

OH, SHIT. WHOA.

WATCH YOUR STEP.

- COME ON IN. - YEAH.

- ALL RIGHT. - THAT'S GOOD.

OH, WOW.

LET'S DO SOME INTERVIEWAGE, YEAH?

HEY.

WANT ME TO PUT SOME MUSIC ON?

YEAH. INTERVIEWS ARE STARTING.

MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME, AND I SEE YOU HAVE.

- INTERVIEWS. - YEAH, RIGHT.

HERE, LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT.

THERE YA GO.

MM! [ giggles ]

[ beep ]

[ humming ]

[ala Dr. Strangelove] MR. PRESIDENT, A MOMENT, PLEASE!

HELLO, MY NAME IS WESLEY HENDERSON.

I WAS BORN FEBRUARY 6th

IN THE WINDY CITY OF CHICAGO, ILLINOIS.

AND, UH, THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE HAS BEEN ENGAGED.

[ phone ringing ]

[ groans ]

HELLO?

I'M NOT HERE RIGHT NOW. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE

AND I'LL GET BACK TO YOU AS SOON AS I CAN.

ROUGH NIGHT?

AH, MAN, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

THE PLUMBER CALLED.

SAID OUR PLACE'LL BE READY LATER TODAY.

OH, REALLY?

OKAY, COOL.

I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW HOURS, THEN.

OH, WAIT. YOU READY FOR YOUR PRESENTATION?

NO. BUT I WAS THINKING

THAT I COULD, UH, JUST WORK ON IT ON THE PLANE, YOU KNOW?

RIGHT. LATER.

YEAH, LATER.

[ snoring ]

[ chuckles ] WELL...

HEY.

- HEY. - WHAT?

ARE YOU, UH, ARE YOU ALIVE?

UH, HEY, YEAH.

[ grunts ]

THANKS FOR LETTING ME CRASH.

YEAH, GOOD TIMES.

GOOD TIMES.

[ chuckles ] YEAH.

DO YOU, UM, DO YOU RECORD YOUR OWN MUSIC?

OH, YEAH. GRAB A CD.

I JUST GOT IT MASTERED, FINALLY.

YEAH, AND LET ME KNOW HOW EVERYTHING TURNS OUT.

YEAH, I WILL.

DID I, UH, DID I INTERVIEW YOU LAST NIGHT?

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

YEAH, YEAH, IT WENT GREAT.

- ALL RIGHT. - YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANKS.

YOU NEED A RIDE TO YOUR CAR?

NO. I'LL TAKE A CAB. YOU JUST STAY THERE.

AWESOME.

- THANKS, MAN. - MM-HMM.

[ man vocalizing ]

♪ HEY

♪ WHEN YOUR HEART IS BARELY BREATHING ♪

♪ AND YOU'RE LYING NAKED ON THE FLOOR ♪

♪ WHEN YOU CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DYING ♪

♪ JUST LET IT OUT♪

♪ THAT'S WHAT IT'S FOR

♪ AND YOU CRY

♪ WE CRY

[ phone ringing ]

WANNA KNOW YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY?

AH, NOT SO FUNNY.

UM, HEY, DO YOU STILL HANG OUT WITH THAT GIRL

WHO, UH, WHO WORKS AT THE SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE?

- YEAH, SURE. WHY? - DO ME A FAVOR HERE.

GO ONLINE AND LISTEN TO THIS GUY'S STUFF.

HIS NAME IS WES HENDERSON,

OR MAYBE TRY WES KNIGHTLY.

ALL RIGHT, COOL.

GIVE ME A CALL AFTER YOU CHECK IT OUT, ALL RIGHT?

LATER, MAN.

COFFEE?

[ phone ringing ]

OKAY. OH, UH... ALL RIGHT.

- HELLO? - HEY, IT'S JAKE.

SO, I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW

THAT I ACTUALLY, UH, I FOUND YVETTE AND WES.

THAT'S NICE.

YOU OKAY?

I'M FINE.

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT AARON...

WENT THROUGH MY PURSE WHILE HE WAS HERE, SO...

AH, SHIT.

ADD THAT TO THE LIST OF BAD STUFF

THAT HAPPENED ON MY BIRTHDAY.

WHAT'D HE END UP TAKING?

RUNNING. ONE, TWO.

COME ON, IT'S TIME TO GO.

[ phone ringing ]

I GOT A CALL FROM A LADY IN THE FRAUD DEPARTMENT.

JUST ONE MORE TIME DOWN THE SLIDE, OKAY?

- HELLO? - IS THIS SARAH REYNOLDS?

YEAH.

HI, THIS IS PAM STEWART FROM CONSUMER FRAUD PREVENTION.

I'M CALLING REGARDING SOME RECENT ACTIVITY

ON YOUR VISA SELECT CARD.

FOR SECURITY PURPOSES, COULD YOU PLEASE VERIFY

THE LAST FOUR DIGITS OF YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER?

IT'S FOUR, SIX, SIX, TWO.

AND YOUR MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME?

MA'AM? ARE YOU STILL THERE?

- SHIT! - MA'AM?

SORRY, NO, I'M STILL HERE.

LONG AGO THIS BELONGED TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

FOR THE PAST 30 YEARS, IT'S BELONGED TO ME.

NOW IT BELONGS TO YOU.

AND SOMEDAY, IN WHAT WILL FEEL LIKE THE BLINK OF AN EYE,

IT WILL BELONG TO LUCY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETHEART.

LOVE, MOM.

[ chuckles ]

DOESN'T IT LOOK NICE?

GRANDMA GAVE IT TO ME.

MA'AM? ARE YOU THERE?

I CAN'T, UM, I'M GONNA HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK.

SHORTY, IT'S TIME TO GO. COME ON. COME ON, WE GOTTA GO.

ARE YOU CRAZY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

[ knocking ]

THE LADY SAID HE PROBABLY SKIPPED TOWN,

BECAUSE THERE WERE CHARGES

AT THE HILTON IN NEW YORK CITY.

- HI. - HOW YOU DOING?

HOW'S IT GOING?

[ door closes ]

[ door opens and closes ]

I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THAT SHIT.

THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

SO, WHEN ARE YOU HEADING BACK TO CALIFORNIA?

I'M ON MY WAY TO THE AIRPORT RIGHT NOW.

[ giggling ]

SO WHEN IS YOUR PRESENTATION?

TONIGHT, ACTUALLY.

COME HERE, YOU LITTLE ROUGH-KIN.

IT'S NOT THE MONEY, IT'S JUST...

I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY, IT'S IMPORTANT, YOU KNOW,

BUT, IT'S JUST, THE NECKLACE IS IRREPLACEABLE.

YOU DON'T NEED TO HEAR ABOUT ME AND MY LIFE--

[ service cuts out ]

HELLO? HELLO? SON OF A --

♪ DOING ALL THE WALKING

♪ I'M STUCK HERE IN THE MIDDLE ♪

GO FOR IT.

♪ ALONG WITH GOOD AND EVIL ♪

♪ I CAN HEAR YOU TALKING

♪ AND DOING ALL THE WALKING NOW ♪

♪

- OH, HELLO, SIR. - HI.

HOW MAY I HELP YOU?

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE MEETING A FRIEND HERE,

AND I JUST, AND I, AND I CAN'T REMEMBER HER ROOM NUMBER.

SO, NO, NO, IT'S NOT, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

I MEAN, I TRIED HER, I TRIED HER CELL PHONE,

LIKE, YOU KNOW, IT GOES STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL.

I'M SORRY, SIR, BUT I CAN'T GIVE CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION.

OKAY, LOOK, HER NAME IS SARAH REYNOLDS.

I -- I KNOW SHE HAS A ROOM HERE.

OH, WAIT. I BELIEVE HER FIANCE JUST CALLED DOWN

A MOMENT AGO, SAID HE WAS EXPECTING SOMEONE.

ONE MOMENT.

EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT I HAVE

A YOUNG GENTLEMAN DOWN HERE

WHO'S AT THE FRONT DESK.

RIGHT AWAY, SIR.

ROOM 470.

470. THANK YOU.

HAVE A NICE DAY, SIR.

SHIT.

[ panting ] OH.

YEAH, LET'S QUIT SMOKING.

[ muffled music ]

HELLO?

HELLO?

HELLO?

YES! OH, I JUST TEXTED YOU, THANK GOD.

YOU SHOULD BE LIKE DOMINO'S,

30 MINUTES OR YOUR ORDER'S FREE.

YOU MUST BE AARON.

YOU SEE ANYBODY ELSE IN HERE?

YEAH, OF COURSE YOU ARE.

THIS IS FOR YOU.

NO, THIS ISN'T FOR ME, UM...

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THERE MUST BE SOME TYPE OF MISCOMMUNICATION.

- WHAT? HELLO? - I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

YES, YOU NEED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THE BLOW

THAT YOU ARE GONNA GIVE ME

AND GETTING THE FUCK OUTTA MY ROOM.

WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO.

CAN I HELP YOU?

WHAT, UH, THIS IS MINE, MINE?

- NO, NO, THIS-- - AND WHY DOES HE HAVE THIS AND NOT YOU?

- OKAY, LOOK. - GIVE ME THE MONEY. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?

- THIS IS NOT GOOD! - HOLY JESUS!

BACK UP. BACK UP. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

GIVE HIM THE FUCKING MONEY.

GIVE ME THE FUCKING MONEY.

GIVE HIM THE MONEY! [ groans ] OH!

OH! AH!

SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! SHIT , SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!

YOU GOTTA CALL 911. YOU GOTTA --

- COME ON! - FUCKIN' JUNKIES.

[ groaning ]

FUCK. OH, FUCK.

COME ON!

[ siren ]

HELP!

- WE GOT HIM. - WE GOT HIM.

YOU GOT HIM, NURSE?

[ panting ]

[ phone beeping ]

[ line ringing ]

- HI, THIS IS SARAH. - AND LUCY.

- PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE. - LEAVE A MESSAGE.

- SARAH, IT'S JAKE. - NOT SO HIGH!

I AM ACTUALLY IN NEW YORK, AND AARON IS IN THE HOSPITAL.

- [ Lucy thuds, cries ] - HE ODed, AND I'M JUST WAITING TO HEAR

TO SEE IF HE'S OKAY.

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE STOLEN NECKLACE

OR THE MONEY OR ANYTHING.

YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T MY PLACE.

- OKAY. - THAT'S GOOD. ALL RIGHT.

I THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE JUST FINE.

ANYWAYS, JUST, UH, CALL ME BACK, I GUESS.

- BYE. - LET'S MAKE A SAND CASTLE.

[ siren ]

YOU BROUGHT IN AARON GREENFIELD?

HE'S GONNA BE OKAY,

BUT HE HAD A PRETTY MAJOR OVERDOSE.

AND CONSIDERING THE AMOUNT OF NARCOTICS...

LOOK, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH...

LOOK, I'M NOT A COP.

HE'S HEAVILY SEDATED RIGHT NOW.

WE'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN YOU CAN SEE HIM.

[ phone ringing ]

HEY, I LISTENED TO THAT MUSIC.

YOU WERE RIGHT. IT IS REALLY GOOD.

YEAH, I KNOW.

BUT, HEY, I DON'T THINK I'LL MAKE IT BACK TILL LATER TONIGHT.

I'VE HAD A BRUTAL FEW HOURS.

I'M ACTUALLY AT A HOSPITAL.

WHAT?

HE ALMOST DIED, THOUGH.

ODed RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

- WAIT, WAIT. WHO ODed? - AARON GREENFIELD.

WHO'S AARON GREENFIELD?

LOOK, I'LL JUST TELL YOU LATER.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR PRESENTATION?

I DON'T KNOW. I'LL HAVE TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

BUT LOOK, I'LL JUST GIVE YOU A CALL LATER, I GUESS.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU CAN SEE HIM NOW.

PERSONAL EFFECTS. HE'S RIGHT IN THERE.

♪ YOU'LL RUN WHEN YOU CAN

♪ AND HOPE FOR A DAY

♪ FAR AWAY FROM HERE

♪ I KNOW

YOU BRING ME HERE?

DO I KNOW YOU?

YOU GOT MY MONEY?

DON'T JUDGE ME.

YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T KNOW YOU.

I'M OKAY WITH THAT.

♪ YOU GET LOST

♪ SOMETIMES

♪ THEN YOU COME TO REALIZE

♪ MAY BE NO BLUE SKIES

- [ phone ringing ] - ♪ AHEAD

HELLO.

HEY, SORRY, I JUST GOT YOUR MESSAGE.

WHAT'S GOING ON? HOW IS HE?

DON'T WORRY. HE'S FINE, HE'S FINE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN NEW YORK?

I HAVE YOUR NECKLACE.

[ chuckles ]

ATTENTION, PASSENGERS.

WE WILL NOW COMMENCE GENERAL BOARDING

FOR FLIGHT 543 NONSTOP TO OAKLAND.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. I DON'T EVEN --

I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO --

WELL, THEY ARE BOARDING NOW,

SO I WILL, UH, I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS,

WHAT, I'LL JUST CALL YOU WHEN I GET HOME.

FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET YOU YOUR NECKLACE.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, HAVE A SAFE FLIGHT.

WELL, DON'T WORK TOO HARD.

WILL DO, WILL DO.

THANKS.

♪ THIS ISN'T THE MIDDLE

♪ THIS ISN'T THE ENDING

WANNA DO SOMETHING ELSE?

UM, YEAH, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER.

GO PLAY, GET YOUR WILDS OUT.

♪ I PAID THE POLICE TO REMIND ME ♪

♪ THAT THE RAY WAS BEGINNING ♪

[ typing ]

♪ WELL, ALL OF YOUR COMRADES

♪ SAILED SHIPS

♪ AND SLIPPED THROUGH TIME ♪

♪ THEY WERE WELL EQUIPPED

♪

YOU HAVE EIGHT NEW VOICE MESSAGES.

FIRST MESSAGE.

YEAH, THIS IS, UH, SGT. RAMIREZ, OAKLAND P.D.

CALLING TO INFORM YOU

THAT WE'VE LOCATED AND RETRIEVED YOUR VEHICLE.

YOU CAN PICK IT UP AT ANY TIME.

GIVE US A CALL BACK. [510] 555-678...

- [ beep ] - Roommate: HEY MAN, IT'S ME.

I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW

I'M GONNA BE A FEW MINUTES LATE PICKING YOU UP.

YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE IT. I WENT OUT WITH THAT GIRL

FROM THESAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE LAST NIGHT.

- IT WAS HUGE! - RIGHT?

AHEM.

TWO MINUTES. PLEASE.

[ groans ]

I LEFT YOU, LIKE, 20 MESSAGES.

THIS CAN'T BE IT.

I MEAN, WHAT COULD YOU...

WHAT COULD YOU SAY THAT COULD MAKE THINGS OKAY?

YOU KNOW, THERE ARE THINGS IN LIFE

THAT YOU JUST -- YOU CAN'T TAKE BACK.

I'M SORRY.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

[ groans ]

THANK YOU FOR PICKING ME UP.

ALL RIGHT.

[ ala Dr. Strangelove ] ST. JOSEPH'S HOSPITAL,

IN THE WINDY CITY OF CHICAGO, ILLINOIS.

THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE

HAS BEEN ENGAGED.

THE DOOMSDAY...

OH...

THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE HAS...

BEEN ENGAGED.

I, UH, WASN'T EXACTLY HONEST

WHEN I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY.

I THOUGHT I HAD THE FLU,

UM, IT TURNS OUT

I HAVE, UH, LYMPHOMA.

AND, UH, THEY TOLD ME THAT I CAN'T, UH,

THAT THEY, UH, THEY CAN'T, UM...

THERE'S NO...

SO, MAN, JAKE, UH...

[ sniffles ]

AH! JUST LIVE LIKE YOU MEAN IT,

'CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW.

SOAK UP ALL LIFE HAS TO OFFER.

[ beep ]

I DON'T GET IT.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW,

IF WE ALL HAVE THE SAME HOROSCOPES

AND HE'S DYING, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

[ door opens ]

INTERESTING TOPIC CHOICE, BY THE WAY.

YEAH, THANKS FOR THE EXTENSION.

WELL, DON'T THANK ME YET.

YOU STILL NEED TO GET AN "A" TO PASS THE COURSE.

GOD. SON OF A BITCH.

MM. HMM.

SOMETIMES THE SIMPLE SOLUTION IS

TO FOLLOW THE PROBLEM TO THE SOURCE.

AH, I SEE YOU'RE A FAN OF THE COMIC BOOK.

GENTLER ON THE SOUL THAN HEMINGWAY.

A CHILD'S ABILITY TO DREAM HAS NO BOUNDARY.

IF WE LIMIT OUR CHOICES

TO THAT THAT ONLY SEEMS POSSIBLE

OR TO WITHIN SOCIETY'S VIEWPOINT

OF WHAT IS REALITY OR REASON,

WELL, THEN, THE ONLY DREAM LEFT

IS A COMPROMISE.

SO TRUE.

SO.

IS ASTROLOGY BULLSHIT?

SEEMS LIKE AN ETHICAL DILEMMA, NO?

I GUESS LIKE MOST THINGS IN LIFE,

IT DEPENDS ON THE WAY YOU LOOK AT IT.

RELATING TO ETHICS, OKAY?

A KEY COMPONENT OF ETHICS IS THE CORE BELIEF

OF STRIVING TO LIVE THE GOOD LIFE.

OKAY, AND SO, HAVING THESE TWO IDEAS,

HAVING -- HAVING ASTROLOGY AND ETHICS,

JUST BECAUSE PEOPLE SHARE THE SAME HOROSCOPES,

WE CAN'T ASSUME THAT THEY WOULD,

THEY WOULD SHARE THE SAME FATE.

FATE IS NOT A UNIVERSAL CONSTANT.

FATE CAN BE CHANGED, ALTERED.

IF I COULD JUST GET YOU TO SIGN RIGHT THERE.

- HAVE A GOOD ONE. - THANKS.

I MEAN, IT IS HOW WE RESPOND TO FATE,

THE DECISIONS THAT WE MAKE THAT DETERMINES WHO WE ARE.

[ chuckles ]

I LOST MY JOB,

CAR, GIRLFRIEND,

AND APARTMENT IN ONE DAY.

YOU KNOW, BUT THEN, HOW I RESPONDED TO THAT,

MY CHOICES AFTER THAT,

IT LED ME TO SOMETHING THAT --

SOMEONE THAT CHANGED MY LIFE.

WHETHER YOU CALL IT LOVE OR FAITH,

AND WHATEVER YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM IS,

SITUATIONS OCCUR IN OUR LIVES

THAT ARE SOMETIMES OUT OF OUR CONTROL.

IT'S HOW WE DEAL WITH THE ADVERSITY

THAT'S IMPORTANT.

- [ phone ringing ] - ♪ FORTUNES...

HELLO?

HI, I'M LOOKING FOR WES KNIGHTLY.

SPEAKING.

YEAH, I'M CALLING FROM THESAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE.

I HEARD YOUR MUSIC. IT'S -- IT'S REALLY GREAT.

I THOUGHT YOUR ALBUM WAS REALLY STRONG,

AND I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU

ABOUT DOING AN ARTICLE ON YOUR STUFF

- AND YOUR UPCOMING ALBUM. - FOR REAL?

LET'S SET UP A TIME AND GET TOGETHER. YOU INTERESTED?

MY ZODIAC SIGN, AQUARIUS,

IS AN, UH, AN INTELLECTUAL AIR SIGN,

WHICH, ACCORDING TO HOROSCOPES.COM,

IS SUPPOSED TO ENCOURAGE US

TO REBEL AGAINST SOCIAL INJUSTICES

AND SEEK FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION IN OUR LIVES.

IF THAT IS THE CASE, SIGN ME UP FOR THE AGE OF AQUARIUS.

DO I HAVE A DOLLAR?

I HAVE A DOLLAR.

"LINE IN NATURE IS NOT FOUND."

"UNIT AND UNIVERSE ARE ROUND.

"IN VAIN PRODUCED, ALL RAYS RETURN.

"EVIL WILL BLESS, ICE WILL BURN.

"AS URIEL SPOKE WITH PIERCING EYE,

A SHUDDER RAN AROUND THE SKY."

[ airplane passes ]

HERE.

TRY TO STAY WARM, ALL RIGHT?

MAYBE WE'RE ASKING THE WRONG QUESTIONS.

MAYBE THE QUESTION SHOULD BE

WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE AFRAID TO ACCEPT

RESPONSIBILITY THAT WE CONTROL OUR OWN DESTINY.

WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IN CHANCE, FREE WILL,

FATE, OR DESTINY,

SOMETIMES WHEN YOU LOOK INTO ANOTHER PERSON'S EYES...

YOU JUST KNOW.

IT'S ALL IN THE STARS.

I THINK THIS IS YOURS.

THANK YOU.

♪ SHININ' LIKE A WORK OF ART

♪ HANGIN' ON A WALL OF STARS

♪ ARE YOU WHAT I THINK YOU ARE? ♪

♪ YOU'RE MY SATELLITE

♪ YOU'RE RIDIN' WITH ME TONIGHT ♪

♪ PASSENGER SIDE, LIGHTING THE SKY ♪

♪ ALWAYS THE FIRST STAR THAT I FIND ♪

♪ YOU'RE MY SATELLITE

♪ELEVATOR TO THE MOON ♪

♪ WHISTLIN' OUR FAVORITE TUNE

♪ TRYIN' TO GET A CLOSER VIEW

♪ YOU'RE MY SATELLITE

♪ YOU'RE RIDIN' WITH ME TONIGHT ♪

♪PASSENGER SIDE, LIGHTING THE SKY ♪

♪ALWAYS THE FIRST STAR THAT I FIND ♪

♪ YOU'RE MY SATELLITE

♪ MAYBE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE

♪ JUST A LITTLE OUT OF REACH

♪ YOU'RE MY SATELLITE

♪ YOU'RE RIDIN' WITH ME TONIGHT ♪

♪ PASSENGER SIDE, LIGHTING THE SKY ♪

♪ ALWAYS THE FIRST STAR THAT I FIND ♪

♪ YOU'RE MY SATELLITE

♪ YOU'RE MY SATELLITE