Original subtitles

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha la la la.

Can I help you?

Can't you see I'm trying to work here?

What is it, honey?

Well, I'm really struggling trying to find a new idea for a documentary.

It's been two weeks, I haven't come up with anything.

The problem is, honey, you're competing with a lot of your earlier work. It's

hard to top some of the things you've already done.

I must admit, they were very good.

In recognition of excellence, For the documentary, The Automatic

Milking Machine.

The day the cows dried out.

That one made me cry.

Perhaps my best work.

So you think you know your hat.

Are my friends here yet?

No, not yet, honey, but I have your milk and cookies all ready.

Okay. Wait a minute. Wait, hey.

Milk and cookies?

Wait, milk?

Milk? Cows?

Milking machines.

Don't you... Wait a minute. I've done that.

I've done it all.

Hey. Dad, I think I've got it. How about a documentary on teenage sex?

As far as you're concerned, there's no such thing as teenage sex.

Okay, they're my friends.

Hi, sweetheart.

Your directions were...

Perfect.

These are my friends, Joseph Simmons and Eva Martin.

Gee, they're so old.

Maybe they got left back a little.

Andy, you did tell your parents that we're from the retirement center, didn't

you? Oh, the retirement center. Andy's class visits there every week. It's a

school project. Oh, please, please, come in, come in. Sit down.

No, welcome.

I'm Stephen Keaton, Andy's father.

It's so nice to meet you. This is my wife, Elise. Oh, excuse me. I feel as

though I know the family already.

I'll bet that's Jennifer.

You're Mallory. And you must be Alex.

Alex, you know, everyone at the center is so grateful to you for teaching Andy

to fill out our tax returns.

Who would guess you could deduct prunes?

Well, see you later. Bye.

Bye -bye.

Andy really seems to enjoy visiting you at the center.

Oh, well, Andy's become a very good friend.

You know, you can't imagine how nice it is to have a lively visitor each week.

We're running a little low, Andy. I'll go get some more. Great.

According to Andy, so many activities, you hardly have a moment free.

Well, Mrs.

Clark, the director of the center, she believes that seniors should always be

kept busy. If you're not busy, she'll lecture you until you chase her off with

shuffleboard stick.

Then she's happy.

Well,

it seems like you lead a really full life at the center. Oh, well, you know

it is.

Nothing is perfect.

Neither is perfect.

Excuse me, but we've done nothing but talk about ourselves since we came in.

no, no, don't apologize. It's been very interesting, and I think you may have

solved a problem for me.

How about a documentary about a first grader visiting a retirement center?

Oh, I think that's a good idea.

No, it feels very good, especially since Americans are living so much longer

now, and I could personalize it by focusing in on you two and your lives.

What did I tell you, Eva?

Stick with me, kid. I got you in show business.

Hi, Joseph. Hi, Eva.

Oh, hello, Andy. Hello, Stephen. Oh, Sam, this is Stephen Keaton.

He's making a documentary about Andy and all of us people at the center here.

Oh, nice.

This is Jack McDowell, my cameraman. Jack is going to be taking some

footage today.

Keaton. Keaton.

I know your work. You did the documentary with a hat.

They show that every year. That's one of my favorites.

Thank you. You know, I'm no film critic, but it seems to me in a half hour about

hats, you could throw in a pair of socks.

Mr. Keaton?

I'm Mrs. Clark. We spoke on the telephone.

Oh, very nice to meet you. Yes, we appreciate your giving us permission to

here. Oh, not at all. But please remember the conditions.

Try to keep the noise down.

Don't interfere with any of the organized activities.

And if you overstimulate any of the seniors, I'll have to ask you to leave.

Don't worry about the overstimulation.

He did the thing with the hats.

Well, look, here's how I'd like to start. Andy, I want you to sit with

and Eva.

And what am I, an end table?

And Sam, and I will ask you some questions.

Very good, okay?

Okay. Good.

All right.

Andy, what's it like coming to the retirement center?

Well, the first thing I've noticed, everybody's older than me.

What do you like best about being here?

Well, I like it when they tell me stories.

Joseph, tell the story of how you met Eva.

Ah, Andy, you know, when my wife died, I moved in with my son, David.

Well, we didn't get along too well, so eventually we decided that I should move

in here to the center.

I get along with my dad very well. Hi, Dad.

Hi.

So one day, we were all sitting around here, you know, just like every other

day. Then all of a sudden, in walks the most beautiful vision you have ever seen

in your life.

That must have been Eva. It sure was.

And I noticed Joseph right away, too.

And you know, then, I knew right away that I'd met the woman that I was going

marry. And someday we will.

Not someday, Eva.

Time goes by too quickly.

Will you marry me?

Did you get that?

Joseph, my answer is yes.

Well, I don't believe that. God, God.

Wonderful.

Hey, Leslie.

Hey, Dan.

Pretty festive in here. What's all this?

Well, can't you see, son?

We're in the movies.

Hi, I'm Stephen Keaton.

WKS. David Simmons.

So what are you taping here?

Well, we're doing a documentary on life here at the center. And, well, we just

captured a very, very special moment on tape. Well, Joseph, I'm sure you'd like

to tell your son.

Well, David, my boy.

What is it, Bob?

Well, Eva and I are going to get married.

Well, come on. Kiss the bride.

Come on. Seriously, Dad, what's going on?

I am serious.

I mean, we've got the honeymoon planned.

You bet. They're going to a retirement center in Hawaii.

You are serious about this.

Hey, Pop.

Just wait a minute. Look.

Okay, it's crazy.

You two cannot get married.

You can't move out of the center.

Well, how are you going to take care of yourself?

I'm not going to take care of myself. I am going to take care of Eva. And Eva is

going to take care of me.

Who's going to take care of me?

David, I'm not going to let anything happen to your father.

Eva, with all due respect, I don't think this thing can possibly work out.

I don't have to listen to this.

Let's go, Eva.

Dad?

Turn it for the water cooler's empty. Will you help me with the new bottle?

Sure.

Oh, God,

these things are heavy.

Yeah, maybe we should wait. Let Mom do it.

We can do it.

Mallory, you have to take the top off. I know we have to take the top off. I

can't get my hand off of it.

Wait, Jennifer, please, hold on. No, wait, my hand's right underneath it.

Come on.

No, no, you can't. I can't hold it.

Ladies, you want to hurry up with this, please? I'm thirsty.

Alex, you could give us a hand, you know.

What, are you kidding me? I don't touch this. The way a mom gets home.

Alex. All right, all right, all right, all right. All right, come on. We know.

Okay. Thank you.

Okay. All right.

No, wait. You're going to reveal it.

I'll get it.

No, I'll get it. No, I'm getting it. I'm right here. All right, all right.

We'll all get it, okay? We'll all get it.

Hi, kids.

Is your dad home?

He's not in right now. He should be back shortly.

Care for a drink?

Well, no, thanks.

Do you mind if we wait for him?

No, I'm fine. Come on.

You need some help.

That's all right. There we go.

There's no trouble. Eva does it all the time. Well, we appreciate it. We got it.

Okay. All right. Come here. Do you hear me?

All right.

Bring it up. Just bring it up. Hey, guys.

Hey. Oh, boy.

That girl.

Joseph, Eva, great to see you. Getting ready for the big day?

Well, yes, we've actually just been taking a walk.

And discussing the wedding plans.

Oh, you must be so excited. I remember what it was like before our wedding.

It must have been very beautiful.

Oh, it was.

Outside in Golden Gate Park, all our friends were there with guitars,

singing, everyone was crying.

Oh, well, weddings can be very emotional.

No, it's a tear gas.

Our wedding was held in the middle of a protest.

Was it political?

No, it was her father.

I know what you mean. We're having some family problems, too.

I understand your son David isn't making this easy for you. Well, I don't know

what it is. I mean, why can't he be happy for me?

I've tried to talk about it with him, but somehow we can't communicate.

We were wondering if maybe you could talk to him, Stephen.

Well, Joseph, Eve, I...

I'd love to help, but I don't know how I could. I mean, I barely know your son.

But you can relate to him. I mean, you're more his age, and you speak his

kind of lingo.

Besides, who can we go to?

We're all alone except for the few people we know at the center.

Please, Stephen, we could really use some help.

David comes to the center every Thursday to visit.

All right. I'll try. I'll try, but I'm not sure what I'm going to say. Oh,

you. Thank you.

Now we can go on with our walk.

Oh, it's lovely that you dropped by. Please come in any time. Goodbye.

See you Thursday.

I'll be there. Thanks a lot. You bet. Bye.

What was that all about?

Well, Joseph and Eva want to get married.

But his son, David, is adamantly opposed to the idea.

Oh, well.

I'm sure he has his reasons. I mean, you know, caring for an elderly parent,

that's an awesome responsibility.

How would you know?

Come on, Mom, I'm giving this a lot of thought, you know, and I think that

children have an obligation to plan for the day when their parents become a

burden on society.

I mean, God knows I have.

Well, that's a relief, Alex. Your mother and I were afraid we were going to be

set adrift on an ice floe.

Dad, Mom, I promise you, that's a last resort.

When your time comes, I'm going to make sure you get put into the most

comfortable, elegant retirement center available.

Honey, honey, we're not going to live in a retirement center.

We're going to live with you.

Well, then it's the ice floe.

Joseph, Kiva, hi.

Oh, hello, Stephen.

Where's your camera?

Well, Sam, I'm here to pay a little social call today.

Oh, that's great, and I got all made up.

I didn't notice anything different.

Didn't you see what I did with my hair?

I parted it on the other side.

Of the room.

Oh!

Randy, can I have a word with you? Oh, sure, sure, sir.

What is it?

Well, first of all, I want to thank you very much for coming.

And David is going to be here soon.

Well, I just hope I can do some good.

Well, I'm sure you will be able to, but just if by chance you should run into

any kind of a difficulty, I've just prepared a short list of points you

want to make.

David, remember when you were seven years old and I bought you that bicycle?

Thank you, but I don't think it'll come to this.

Hello, Dad. Ah, hello, David. My, this is a surprise.

Who would have expected you to be here today?

What are you talking about? He comes every Thursday.

Why don't you go part your hair on the other side of the room?

I know where I'm not wanted.

You could cry on my shoulder, Sam.

Come on, sweet potato.

Say, David, can I speak to you for a minute?

Yeah, sure.

Look,

I...

I realize you have an objection to your father and Eva getting married, but I'd

like you to reconsider your position.

Now, from what I can see, wouldn't a marriage make the rest of their golden

years more fulfilling and rewarding?

Look, I appreciate your concern, but I don't see how it's any of your business.

David, remember when you were seven and I bought you that bicycle?

Dad?

If you have something to say to me, you want to try saying it yourself.

I have.

Why are you so stubborn?

Why can't you accept Eva? She's a wonderful woman.

And she's so like your mother.

She's nothing like my mother.

You obviously don't remember Mom. You don't want to remember Mom. You want to

get married and move on and forget she ever existed.

Oh, so that's what all this is about.

David, don't you know I think of your mother every living day?

Don't you think that she'd want me to be happy?

Oh, yeah.

Uh, look, look, maybe I should go now.

No.

No, maybe I should.

How'd he go?

Oh, he's impossible.

But I don't care anymore.

He is not going to ruin our happiness. We are going to get married, Eva.

And we're going to get married right here in this center.

Well, maybe we could fix up a little.

Throw something over Sam.

If you do anything, you lose the whole look of the room.

I just wish it could be more like family.

Look, Josephine, I think my family would be honored if you'd consider having a

wedding at our house.

Thank you.

Oh, Stephen, thank you very much.

Andrew, what wedding's lovely?

I don't know.

Joseph and Eva are the first one in my crowd to get married.

So, my father tells me you're something of a card player.

Oh, well, I'm nothing special.

You play?

Me? No.

No.

I'd like to learn, though. Me, too.

Black Mariah Lobo with a split?

When I jacked Kings with the Axe?

David. I didn't think you'd come.

Well, up until a few minutes ago, neither did I.

If you've come here to try to stop me, don't.

Oh, no.

No, I'm dead.

Listen, I thought a lot about what you said.

Dad, you were right.

Mom would want you to be happy, and I do too.

And I think that Eva is a wonderful woman.

So congratulations.

Thank you, David.

This means more to me than you will ever know.

Listen, if you can possibly forgive me, I'd love to be your best man.

There's no better best man in this room.

Mom, the bride's ready.

Oh, oh.

Joseph, Eva is ready. We can start now. We can start now.

There's one thing I have to ask you before you go down there.

Did anyone talk to you about the wedding night?

My mother told me 50 years ago.

I still think I remember some of the basics.

Friends, we are gathered here to witness a very special union.

A union that lends credence to the immeasurable power of love.

Joseph Simmons and Eva Martin will be married here today.

And now Joseph and Eva would like to express in their own words their

at this moment.

Eva, at a time when most men are only thinking...

of the life that is behind them, your love and friendship have given me a gift

beyond compare.

The future.

Joseph, before I met you, there were seconds, minutes, hours,

but they were only ticks of a clock.

Now each moment is a precious jewel to be cherished because it'll be shared

you.

And so by the power vested in me by the state of Ohio, I pronounce you husband

and wife.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present for the very first time Mr.

and Mrs. Joseph Simmons.

I'm so glad we had the wedding here.

The house just feels full of love.

You ever seen a more beautiful bride?

Only once, Liz.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.