Original subtitles

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Mom,

didn't you say it was going to take five hours?

Yeah, well, it's way after that now. I mean, they're almost an hour late.

Hey, hey, hey, don't worry, Miss Keaton. You know, that's how it goes with this

stuff, huh?

Oh, uh, maybe these guys are like mechanics. They're just shooting for a

overtime.

Yeah.

Can you, uh, can you check my pulse, please?

Your pulse?

Yeah, you heard what the woman said. It's running very fast. I'd just like

to check it.

Okay, what do I do?

Put your finger right there and count.

Telephone, please, Dr. Klein.

How high?

It gets into double figures. Forget it.

I'll take my own pulse.

I haven't got a pulse.

This is unbelievable.

Before I had too much, now I have none.

Is everything okay, Ruth? How is Tony?

He seemed fine.

I mean, his spirits are up and he's very alert, but they decided to move him

back into the ICU anyway.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I think that's just the way these things go. You know, two steps forward,

one step back.

I'm going down for a snack. Would anybody like anything?

I'm coming with you, Mr. Myers.

Okay.

We'll see you folks later.

Alex?

Yeah,

what's up?

It's taking so long.

I'm getting really worried.

I mean, what if something happens to Dad?

I love him so much, I don't think I could... I could stand him...

Being not there.

Look, Mel.

Dad is not going to be not being there.

Okay?

Me? I have no pulse.

I may die.

But Dad, Dad, Dad's not going to die, okay?

Dad? Dad is going to be fine, definitely.

You're not worried?

Yeah. Mel, yeah.

I'm worried.

I'm very worried.

I'm worried about me.

Look, Mel, it's all about heredity, okay?

When you consider the gene pool that we come from, I got so much.

I mean... But I also... I also... And this is... what's making my pulse

unfindable, Mel. Maybe I also got the bum ticker gene.

Huh?

The bad heart one.

The malo corazón gene.

I don't think so, Alex.

Really? Why not?

Because I think you're going to be around for a very long time so you can

me nuts for the rest of my life.

Oh, God, Mellie, I hope so.

Lauren,

thanks for picking up the kids. Of course. How's Mr. Keaton? We haven't

anything for a long while.

They're still in surgery. We'll hear from him soon.

You okay?

Alex got him going, and now he thinks he's going to have a heart attack.

I can't pull my paws.

with your mommy i'm still sane is there anything i can do yeah yeah there is

there is lauren i need

psychiatric treatment hallelujah alex it's about time you saw the light

um alex yeah make yourself

comfortable good and let me see if i understand this all right

Okay, despite your father's condition, you seem to be more preoccupied with

own imaginary and highly neurotic worries.

Yes.

So what do you think? Is there any hope?

Alex, do you think maybe you really are very worried about your father and that

you're hiding behind those feelings, unable to admit them?

Nah.

World Series, the Tigers lead three games to one.

Matter of fact, folks, it sure looks like the San Diego club will shortly be

packing their bags and heading for the beach.

Hey, take your water wings. Don't slam it, you bums.

California sissies run up against some real Midwestern men. See what happens.

Dad, dad, dad, are we not two unbelievably brilliant and clairvoyant

maniacs? Did I not tell you Tigers in five?

You did, and did I not tell you?

Tigers in five. You did. I did. You did. We've done dude.

Whoa! Okay.

Boy, does it get any better than this, Alex?

Ah,

the women of our clan off in some distant airtight mall.

Our little baby boy fast asleep upstairs.

And us, the two Keaton hombres.

Sitting here watching the October classic, smashing hot dogs into our

What was the question, Dad?

How about another dog -a -rooney? Arf, arf, Dad.

Arf, arf.

I'll get him a dog. No, no, no. Stay here. I'll get it. Extra mustard, extra

rice. Extra everything. I'm celebrating. Boy, this really brings back memories.

Me as a kid, watching the Yanks and the series.

Acting out every move.

Hey, Hodges digs in, Larson delivers.

Whoa. And it's a long fly ball to deep left center. Mantle goes back, back,

back.

Breaks the lamp and makes a spectacular one -handed catch.

Boy, will his mom be mad.

I'll get the broom.

I'll get it.

Cameroon's waiting for you.

My father died.

He, um... He went real fast. It was his heart.

He was... gone before he got to the hospital.

He was a good man, Dad.

He was a very good man.

And he led a full life. You know, he had two beautiful sons and a loving wife.

He was a good provider.

I mean, he worked hard, did the work too, man.

But time as we know, Martha's on. Alex, stop.

And your mother, you know, I'm sure she's going to receive a handsome

settlement.

Not to mention the house, which, if my sense of the Buffalo real estate market

is accurate, and, you know, I have no reason to believe that it's not.

Stop. What are you doing?

I got to keep talking, Dad, because I'm afraid that if I stop talking, I'm going

to start crying.

Alex, my father died.

Don't hide from your feelings, Alex.

Your grandpa died.

You can cry.

It's nice to know you're actually human, Alex.

Let's not go jumping to conclusions, Mallory.

Everyone stop being mean to Alex.

There'll be plenty of time for that at home.

Let's everybody just sit quietly and wait.

Tony's been so happy these last few months since our youngest son, Martin,

home. I try to tell myself it's a coincidence.

You know, we decided to travel all over the world. We never expected to travel

to the hospital.

But, like Tony said, at least they didn't lose our luggage.

That was Skippy. He sends his love, and he's going to try to make it over a

little later.

He's a sweetheart.

You know, he said he has his uncle, his Uncle Morris.

The guy had a triple bypass, and he just ran a marathon.

Oh, that's absolutely true.

I mean, I don't know his uncle, but you can do anything with a good bypass.

No big deal these days. Now, a neighbor of mine, her husband had to have a new

valve put in his heart. Now, that was major.

Yeah, I know where you're coming from.

I had to do a valve job on my bike.

Mrs. Hobart, may I talk to you, please?

Thank you. I can't believe this has happened.

If there's anything we can do, I'll be okay. I will, really.

And so will Steve, and I know it.

Well, we had your number. Here is ours, and if there's anything we can do,

please call us.

Things were going so well for her husband. You know, you heard her.

They moved him into her own room. How... that something like this happened.

Hey, Mom, you know, just take it easy, okay?

I don't understand.

One minute you're on the road to recovery and the next minute you're

mean, either they don't know what they're doing here or someone's lying.

Hey, Mom.

Hey, look, my husband, Stephen Keaton, is being operated on.

I want to know what's going on. Oh, I'm sorry. You'll have to check with the

duty nurse. I really don't know.

Well, how long does an operation take? I mean, guys, it's the first one they've

ever done.

Come on, Mom.

Stop it. Take it easy. Come on.

I'm sorry.

I'm just going nuts, I guess.

We all are.

Mom, Dad's going to be okay.

Everything's going to be fine.

You know when you know something with an absolute certainty sometimes?

I mean, that's the feeling I get about Dad.

Everything's going to be fine. Do you believe me?

Yeah. I do. I do.

I mean, I can see him in the kitchen like a week from now.

And he'll come down and he'll say, Who didn't put the top back on the ketchup

last night?

Was it you, Mallory?

And I'll say, no, it wasn't me, Dad. It was Jennifer. It was Alex.

And Alex will say,

it was you, Mallory. You never, ever put the top on anything.

Dad will say, so was you, Mallory. How could you?

Do you think ketchup grows on trees?

And Mallory will have to think about that.

I'm thinking about it.

Yeah, you see, tomatoes definitely do grow on vines.

But most of the spices that we do find in ketchup do grow on trees. So I would

have to say yes.

Everything's going to be fine, Mom. Dad's going to be okay. Trust me.

Thank you.

Oh, honey, you've been wonderful. You guys have been so supportive.

Hey, I found my pulse.

Oh, great.

He finds his pulse.

He's a kid. He doesn't even need one.

Alex? He's got to be here somewhere.

Oh, forget about your pulse.

Oh, that's the nice thing for a mother to say.

I want to talk to you.

Yeah, what's up?

I want to talk to you about what we're going to do if he doesn't make it.

Oh, hey, Mom.

Come on, don't talk like that, okay? I mean, he's going to make it.

Yeah, I believe that. I really do.

But we have to think about what we're going to do if he doesn't.

Oh.

No, no, I don't even see why we're discussing this, Mom. Because I'm the

turn to you hey uh

guys you want to come down to cafeteria with us i'm gonna get a milkshake

celebrate andy finding his pulse no thanks you go on we're gonna stay up

okay

I don't think you have any concept of what your dad and I mean to each other.

How close we are.

How much we love each other.

I don't think you can live in our house without knowing that.

If I lost him.

I don't know what I'd be like.

I don't know what I'd do. I don't know. I don't know.

I've depended on you

for 22 years.

And if you have to lean on me a little bit now, I'm ready.

I love you so much.

There's no way that I'm not going to be there for you.

And I'm going to let you go through this alone.

You're my mommy.

Come on, Alex.

Say mommy.

Say mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Very good.

Oh, you're such a smart boy.

Right.

Mommy.

Mommy. Very good.

Right. Money, money, money.

Hi, Stephen.

The airport is shut down tight, Elise.

Talk about solid water. There's no way my parents are getting in tonight.

They're not.

Your brother Rob called.

Their flight was diverted to Denver.

How's my dad?

He's doing fine.

Your brother's keeping a close eye on him.

Evidently, he won't actually admit he had a heart attack.

What do you mean he won't admit it? He had surgery.

Well, he said they made a mistake.

It was his appendix.

He's a tough guy, my dad.

Anyway, they're going to spend the night and they'll try to get in tomorrow.

I guess this Thanksgiving is between you and me.

Oh,

Stephen, you're not going to believe this.

What's that?

Alex said mommy. Really? Good for you, Alex.

Come on, Alex.

Say mommy.

Money.

That's money, Elise. He's been saying that for weeks.

Are you sure?

Are you sure? It sounds like mommy to me.

It's not.

Alex, say daddy.

Money.

This kid's going to be rich, Elise.

I thought Valerie was going to make us very poor.

Money.

Okay, okay.

God,

I'm a lucky guy.

You are.

I am.

I have so much to be thankful for this year.

My dad's alive.

I have you. I have this spectacular, money -loving baby.

So thankful.

You know, when Dad gets home, things aren't going to be the same.

He's going to be in a weakened state, and we're going to have to do everything

we can to try not to annoy him or upset him.

Yeah, that means no loud music, Jan.

Or no arguing, Mal.

No Nick, Nick.

Wait a minute, Alice. If Nick goes, I go.

Yeah, so what?

Oh, what's everyone talking about, huh?

Oh, talking about how things are going to have to change when Dad gets home.

I don't think things will have to change all that much.

So I guess that means I can stay in town, huh?

Well, let's see what the doctors say.

This is keeping me.

I just wanted to give you an update on the surgery.

Yeah, what's going on? What's taking so long? What's happening with my dad?

Well, it is taking longer than we expected. Well, why is that? Please, can

not tell us what's happening in there? Dr. Harrison has decided that Mr. Keaton

is in need of a quadruple bypass.

Oh, my God. What? Dr. Harrison and his team are the best. They've run into this

kind of unexpected problem before, and they know what needs to be done.

I know how hard this is, but there's really nothing you can do now but wait.

I promise I'll keep you posted.

Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, come on. Let's go, you guys. He's

going to be fine, Mr. Keaton.

Clap, Sponge.

We have some bleeding here.

He's a fighter, you know that?

His pressure's 55.

Fine. What they can do now is incredible.

Give me one millimeter probe, please. Modern science is a miracle, huh?

Need some traction here.

It's going to work out, I'm telling you.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.