Original subtitles

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

Ah, good, good, good. You're all here.

You know what I have behind my back?

The fridge.

Whoa,

a piece of paper.

What a stunner, Dad.

I've never seen that done up close.

This is an electricity bill.

In the size of it, you'd think we were major shareholders of Ohio Electric.

I own some.

Does anyone know who the chief waster of electricity is?

I bet it's one of us.

I did a little spot check of your bedrooms last night, and I came up with

interesting data.

Dad, I need my light to study. So do I. I need my light to study, too.

Ah, it seems that Jennifer has forgotten she left her air conditioner on.

Jennifer, it's almost winter. It's not even hot.

Well, evidently it is when you're under your electric blanket.

Okay, well, now that we know who the culprit is, maybe we can just move out

the rest of us can get on with their energy -efficient lives.

The utility bills in this house are too high and they must have come down. Have

I made myself clear?

Yes.

I think these are brown enough.

What are you doing, Andy?

My history homework.

Your history homework?

Alex is teaching me today we're covering the Industrial Revolution, a capitalist

perspective.

Well, somebody's got to supplement that joke of a first -grade curriculum.

See, Andy, maybe you can skip that today because Nick's bringing over someone

for you to play with, his little nephew, Rocco.

Rocco?

He's so cute. You know, he's just like Nick.

Of course, he's not as sophisticated.

I mean, he is only five years old.

So he's still got a year to go.

For your information, Alice, Rocco's a very sweet little boy. He's staying with

Nick for a week. I think you're really going to like him, Andy.

Neat. When is he coming over?

Any minute now.

All right. Okay. Listen, before Nick and Rocco get here, maybe we can pack a

little more fun in. Now, I got a surprise for you, pal.

I was going to save it for later, but I think you've earned it.

In the living room, on the table, is a book.

The Social and Economic Impact of the Cotton Gin. It's yours, pal.

Alex should spoil him.

Hey, Mel, listen, I think it's nice that Nick's bringing his nephew over. I just

don't want you to get your hopes up, all right? What do you mean?

It's just that I don't know if anything's going to be that interesting

playing with Rocco. I mean, he's really excited about the Industrial Revolution.

You know, it's hard at his age to really fake that common touch.

Oh, they're here.

Hi.

Everybody, this is my nephew, Rocco. Hey.

So, uh, where's Andy, huh?

Well, Nick, uh, you know, Andy's a little shy.

So I, I would... Hi.

Is that an earring? Yeah.

I will let you touch it, but my ear's kind of infected.

Nick, come on.

He's working on his shyness.

Ow! Are you okay?

Dad, it's the third time I've cut myself. Can we please have a little more

light? There is more than enough light.

Isn't there Jennifer?

I don't know. Is that you, Dad?

Dad, please?

All of them, Stephen.

I wasn't aware we were going to perform microsurgery in this area.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go wash my hair and dry it by

candlelight.

Wow, light.

All right, can we have a little decorum here, please? It is time for Wall Street

Week.

Alex, Alex, you don't intend to use the electricity -guzzling television, do

you?

No, Dad, I thought I'd use the wood -burning television.

Hey, Andy!

Alex, Andy's not here.

Nick sent him and Rocco to the mall.

The mall?

Why wouldn't he drag Andy to the mall?

First of all, Alex, nobody has to be dragged to the mall.

And secondly, Andy wanted to go. Nick is buying him a T -shirt just like

Rocco's. Not the one with the picture of the dancing girl and a mug of beer.

Oh, no, no. You can't buy those in a store.

No, Rocco's mother's a waitress there.

Well, I think it's nice that Nick wants to buy Andy a T -shirt.

And if Andy wants his ear pierced like his friend Rocco, I'm sure nice Nick

take him to the earring booth at the mall and get him that, too. Oh, don't

exaggerate, Alex.

Nick would certainly know that we wouldn't want Andy to do that.

Right, Mallory?

Right, I think.

This is Wall Street Week. Welcome back.

One year ago... I can't believe it started and Andy's not here.

What am I supposed to do, watch Wall Street Week alone?

What's wrong with that?

It's just not done. I mean, Wall Street Week is event television.

Or it's something you've got to share with your loved ones.

I'd rather be caught in Bloomingdale's than a house dressed in flip -flops.

Mom?

Mommy?

Come on, we haven't spent a lot of quality time together recently.

Now's not the time to start, honey.

Hey, Pop.

Guess it's just us men then, huh?

I think there's a light on in the attic. Somewhere kilowatts are escaping.

What are we doing?

We're abandoning our firstborn in this hour of need.

Oh, come on, Mom, it's fun.

Well, let's sit down with them. How bad can it be?

Wall Street week?

Well, it could be worse. It could be one of your dad's documentaries.

So, uh, what do we do? Just, uh, just sit and watch it?

No, no, no, no. Sit back, relax, let it envelop you.

Whisk you away into the magical world of finance.

Here we go.

So true.

That is so true.

Early man used shiny stones for this purpose.

On the other hand, you might find more solace in the report by a Vanderbilt

University psychologist.

No.

No.

Not a graph.

Cha -cha -cha -cha -boom.

Hey, we are back. We had a great time at the mall.

Yeah, and I got a T -shirt. Larry, that's great. That's great. And look,

late. The last three weeks already started.

Look, Alex, Rocko bought me this great truck.

Oh, that was real nice of you, Rocko, but you didn't have to get that for

I had some sped dough.

Oh, hey, I almost forgot. We made a special stop at the airing booth there.

no!

I bought these from Mal.

Oh.

What, they're too busy?

All right.

Okay, Andy, you missed the beginning of the show, but you're in luck. I taped

it. I'll watch it again later with you if you want. Oh, wait a minute, Alex.

You're using the VCR and the television at the same time? Now, that's it. No

more electricity for you.

Come on, Steven.

Time for your nap. You can dream about an electricity -free world. Look, Elise,

look. Somewhere in this house, there is current flowing.

Well, it's not in your brain.

Come on, Andy. Let's go play Chuck Convoy in your room. Yeah, let's go.

Andy,

Andy, don't you want to watch the show?

I could watch that any time. I want to go upstairs and play Chuckers.

Why don't you come up and help us out so you can watch the Smokies?

You don't want to pick truckers, do you? Yes, I do. It's fun.

Well,

I'm glad I caught you all in here together.

Do you know what this is?

I'm not going to fall for this one again, Dad.

This is the water bill.

And what are you people doing, bathing in the stuff?

Well, I know I'm not the problem. I take a shower every morning for 35 minutes.

To be exact, 34 minutes and 27 seconds.

A personal bet.

Elise, I clocked it. Stephen, don't tell me you timed my shower.

Jennifer.

Yes, Daddy?

Jennifer, you came in at a little over an hour.

Morning and evening.

I like to think in the shower.

Twice a day?

Well, in the morning, I plan out my day, and at night, I recap it.

Well, from now on, think with the water off.

Well, I'll try, but it'll be hard to consider it a shower under those

circumstances.

Dismissed. Did you really need 15 minutes, Elise?

I wish I could say I'm not disappointed.

I'm getting dressed.

Please excuse me.

You can't say she's not polite.

Hey, have you guys seen Andy?

Yeah, he's out with Nick and Rocco. The three of them went down to the

interstate to eat at a truck stop.

Yeah, it was Rocco's idea. He can only digest fried foods.

All right, okay.

Is it just me, or do you guys notice a change in Andy?

What do you mean, a change?

It's like his personality's had a lube job.

Well, I think he's having a lot of fun with Rocco and Nick, if that's what you

mean. Uh -huh, uh -huh.

Uh, what else?

What are you trying to get at, Alex?

All right, okay, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I get the feeling that

Andy's not that interested in me anymore. I mean, it's ridiculous, I

it's almost like he finds me boring.

You? Come on. Boring? Never.

Annoying? Yes.

Stuffy? Absolutely.

Okay, but not boring.

I don't know. If you guys were young boys around Andy's age, I mean, wouldn't

you find me exciting?

I mean, someone to look up to? Someone to emulate?

I'm not sure what emulate means, but I'm going with a no.

I do know what emulate means, and I'm also going with no.

Look, Alex, don't worry.

Andy's just being exposed to something he's never seen before with you.

Fun.

And he's finding it exciting.

But, look, soon Rocco will leave, and Andy will have no choice but to hang out

with you again.

Thanks, Mel.

If it's any consolation.

I'm still fascinated by you.

Hello?

Uh, no, Jennifer's not here right now.

She'll call you back.

No, wait, wait.

She'll write you a letter.

You know what I have here?

A list of your favorite foods?

No, this is our phone bill.

Very large phone bill.

Dad, have you ever used the phone? No, no, no. It's not you, Alex.

And it's not me.

It's those chatty women we live with.

Magpies. Dad, I've watched them, Ellis.

Yak, yak, yak, yak.

Long pause, then yak, yak, yak.

Again.

They don't care.

You're one foot out the window.

Hey, guys.

How was the grease? Oh, it was great, great.

You know, you got to come to the diner with us. They got this new deep fryer.

Makes everything taste like chicken.

Sorry I missed it.

We brought you something.

For me?

I'll cherish it.

What is it?

It's a truck cab deodorizer.

How did you know?

We got something for you too, Mr. K. Huh? Oh, what's this?

Well, we're not sure. You know, it's either fish sticks or french fries.

But it's gonna taste like chicken.

Hey, Alec.

We're going to the dirt bike race now. You wanna come?

It's loud, noisy, and dirty.

Well,

that's a hard offer to turn down, but I think I'm gonna give that a pass.

Okay.

Is this not driving you crazy?

Well, it's the thought that counts.

Dad, don't you know what's going on here? I mean, you've been so busy

down costs, you haven't even noticed that.

We're losing our son.

Oh, sure, when he does something bad, it's our son.

What seems to be the problem, Alex?

I mean, ever since Rocco came into Andy's life, I mean, it's nothing but

toys, fun, fun, fun.

Is that the kind of six -year -old you want?

Want? Well, when it comes to the behavior of my children, want is

gave up a long time ago.

What do you mean? Well, take you, for instance.

When you were first born, as you know, We called you Moonbeam. Yeah, all right.

You wore love beads.

Tie -dyed pajamas with a little flap in the back.

Listen to Woody Guthrie.

Pete Seeger, you were a child of the earth.

Laughing, loving, sharing.

Caring.

Then one day you snapped.

What are you getting at there?

You have to be careful with Andy.

You push too hard, you lose him. Then you'll have to wait for him to come

That's how it was with you.

All right, so when did I come back?

We're still waiting.

This land is your land.

This land is mine.

Do you know what this is?

A bill.

That's right.

It's the gas bill.

Stephen, this house is heated with oil. The only thing in this house that runs

on gas is the kitchen stove. That bill can't be more than $15.

Yes, but I think with a little efficiency, we can shave off $1 .50.

Stephen. Yes, yes, Elise.

You really do need to seek professional help.

Do you know what that will cost?

All right, Andy, you ready to head out to the dirt bike races?

Sure am.

All right, buddy.

Hey, how about you, Alex? You sure you don't want to come?

No, I don't think I'm going to make it this time. But you guys go ahead, have a

great time. I'll stay here and hold down the fort.

No, Alex, you're not exactly my type of guy, but for the kind of guy you are,

you're okay.

Well, thanks, Rocco.

Underneath that layer of 1040 oil, you're a pretty good guy yourself.

All right, we're out of here. Come on, anybody else coming? Yeah, I'd love to

come. I've never been.

Oh, Mal, you're going to love it. Tonight, they are crowning the mud

Hey, how about you, Jen? You want to come?

Are you kidding? I never miss a mud coronation.

Uh, no, pal.

Uh, I think I'm gonna pass, but you go and have a good time, and when you come

home, you tell me all about it, okay?

Okay. All right, bye -bye. Come on, let's go. See you later. See you later.

-bye.

Well, you did the right thing, Alex.

You showed some real grace there.

I, you know, wanted him to be happy.

You know, sometimes, honey, you're a little hard on him.

Sometimes you're a little intense with him, but I'd really rather it be that

than have you just ignore him. You know, if you're gonna make a mistake with

him, it's gonna be out of love.

It's nothing like a mom.

Hi.

Hey.

What's up? You forget something?

No, I just decided to stay home.

What? Hey, you all right? You feeling okay? You eat too many of those chicken

fish sticks?

I'm fine. I'd just rather be with you. That's all.

Really?

I mean, because, you know, I don't want to force you into anything.

You're not.

I really missed you.

Wow. No kidding.

What specifically did you miss?

Don't press me.

All right.

All right, all right.

I missed you too, buddy. I missed you big.

I love you, Alex.

I love you too.

Hey, I'll tell you what.

You tell me what you want to do right now, we'll do it.

I'd really like to play truckers.

Hey, all right, truckers it is.

Okay. Oh, hey, um, can I be president of the truck company?

Sure, no problem.

I'm chairman of the board.

Next on KSWB, get wacky with Jackie. Jackie Chan Adventures, just part of

WB. And at 5, stay tuned for the magic of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. There's a

full afternoon right ahead on KSWB, San Diego's WB. Watch the frog.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.