Original subtitles

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Thank you.

You're humming. What is with you? You hummed the entire overture to Fiddler on

the Roof.

I did not. You did. You were humming and yiddle -diddling at the same time.

But you did, Alex. You made me smudge my sketch.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mel. Did the crayon go outside the Smurfs' hat?

my advanced design class.

I've done a whole collection. Do you want to see it?

No, ma 'am, I don't. You obviously don't understand how important clothes are.

If we didn't have clothes, mister, we'd be naked.

And if we were naked, we'd look pretty stupid wearing shoes.

Fun, fun. All the clerks send their love.

That's so sweet.

Yeah, they missed your mother, but I explained she was out of town on

and they took it very well.

I got some really hot sweaters, Mel, on a belt.

Dad got attacked by women in lab coats spraying cologne.

Didn't affect me in the slightest.

I have it.

Hello.

Yes.

Oh, hi.

Yes? Yes?

Yes, I'm... Yes.

Uh -huh.

Yes.

Well, thank you.

Yeah. Okay, bye.

Yes.

Scarf sale with Lazarus?

I just got a job at David Campbell Fashion.

They are the top fashion design firm in Ohio.

Whoa.

Did we even know you were up for this? No, I didn't want you to know. I mean, I

didn't think I had a chance.

They pick from the entire Grant College fashion department.

Whoa.

Now I know how you got the job. Everybody else sewed themselves

Oh, now I'm in fashion. I mean, I really, really am.

Well, Mallory, you're on your way.

Jennifer, you don't know. It's such an honor to be chosen for this.

You have to work long hours, you have to be on call at all times, and you don't

get paid.

Sounds like your job, Dad.

So, Robin Hood and Maid Marian, Friar Tuck and Little John went back to

Forest and lived happily ever after off the interest they were earning from

Robin's investment in junk bonds.

It's amazing. Each time you hear one of those classic tales, you discover

something new.

Alex can really tell a story.

This one was even better than the one about Rapunzel and her lucrative hair

salon franchise.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was this one about?

It was about Robin Hood, how he stole from the poor and gave to the rich.

No, no, that's not Robin Hood, Andy. That's Ronald Reagan.

Well, there you go again, Dad.

Is that any way to treat a lame duck?

I mean, what did Ronald Reagan ever do to you? He made a mockery of everything

value and hold dear.

That was just during his acting career.

Come on, Andy, I'll put you to bed.

Everyone, I want you to meet Jamie Carter.

Alex,

Alex.

She said Jamie, not Jimmy.

You want to get that changed. I mean, that's not fair.

Jamie is the star designer at David Campbell Fashions, where I'm going to be

apprentice. Oh, right. Hi.

I don't know if you guys remember, but in his spring 87 collection, there was

this incredible mint chiffon split skirt with a matching Jacquard bolero.

It was a Jamie.

See, Dad?

I told you that was a Jamie.

You said it was a cocoa.

Pay up.

Come on, Alex. Let's let these fashioneers design a way we go out and

something manly. Let's go shave.

I'm sorry.

That's okay. I have a brother just like that, so I'm used to it.

Anyway, I'm here to formally welcome you to David Campbell Fashions and to

answer any questions you might have.

This is so exciting.

Well, it's not all that glamorous, really. It's a lot of menial work. You

cutting fabric, basic sewing.

Oh, I can do that. And also running errands and making coffee.

No problem. I'm great at that. Coffee, tea, cocoa, any of the hot water

beverages.

Also, Jamie, I...

I have these designs I did for school, and I'd really love to hear what you

to say.

Oh, Mallory.

These are very good, especially for someone with so little training.

You really have a lot of talent in this area.

I've done a whole line. It's called, Dress for Your Fear of Success.

Huh?

It's for the young businesswoman.

Okay. These clothes say, yes, I'm competent.

Yes, I'm making a bold statement.

Yes, I'm a woman. Can I help you?

I also have this idea to design something where if your panty line is

little bell goes off.

Oh, and also, if you accidentally tuck your skirt into your pantyhose, you get

an electric shock.

When we finish here, do you want to go to lunch? Oh, yeah, that'd be great.

Jamie, this has been the most exciting week of my life.

I mean, I cannot believe I got to see the new David Campbell fashions before

anybody else at my school.

You said this wasn't glamorous, but it really is.

Oh, my God.

But it's David Campbell, and I'm son to a dummy.

Oh, Jamie. Oh, David, let me introduce you.

This is Mallory Keaton, our new apprentice.

Hi.

I love your hair.

James, I love your new designs.

It's been quite a while since we've seen anything new from you.

Yeah, well...

Thanks. It just kind of came to me. Well, I think we should share them with

everyone. Everybody, please.

Now? No, you don't have to. Don't be silly.

Yvette's going to model.

I didn't know you had done some new designs. You're so modest.

No, I'm really not.

No, you are.

I mean, all the time you've been doing these designs and you still had time to

show a new apprentice the ropes?

Isn't this exciting?

Bone chilling.

This is Jamie's latest creation.

Very nice.

Dressed for your fear of success.

This design allows the young professional woman to assert herself,

every bit of her femininity.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

I go now.

I want that in tomorrow's show.

Done it again, kid.

It's over, Alex.

It's not over, Jen.

It's not over until the fat bishop sings.

Well, tell him to start warbling, pal, because you're looking at checkmate.

Jen, look out behind you!

Nice try, Alex.

Jen! I'm serious, Jen! It's a monster, Jen! It's a beast!

It's a giant...

six years old, I'm going to turn around and you're going to knock the pieces off

the board?

Seriously ill, you know that, don't you?

That may be true, but I'm also undefeated.

Hey, Val.

Where you been?

You guys are not going to believe this.

I'm so confused.

Just generally, or is this something specific?

What? What happened?

Jamie Carter?

She stole the designs I did for school.

She did what?

She took my designs and she presented them to David Campbell as her own.

David loved them. They're going to be in the new collection tomorrow.

That's awful, Mallory. What are you going to do?

I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know?

You're going to go in there. You're going to tell them what she did.

I don't think I could bring myself to do that, Alex. It's just not me.

Are you saying you're just going to do nothing, just chalk it up as a learning

experience?

I guess so.

Maybe just once, a learning experience could be fun.

What about calling Mom? She'll know what to do.

No, I want to handle this on my own, so don't tell Dad either, okay?

I can't believe this. My first experience in the fashion world, and

happens.

I mean, is it always like this, Alex?

Is this what the business world is like?

Lying, stealing, cheating, corruption?

If it's done right.

Then I can't compete. I can't live my life like that. No, I'm kidding.

No, I'm kidding.

No, it should be tough.

It should be competitive. But it should also be fair. I mean, lying in the

ceiling should not be a part of it.

No, I just have to believe this is going to come back to her. You know? Her

karma will get her.

All right, there's something we can hang our hat on.

Her karma will get her.

Come on.

It's true.

If you're mean or petty or vengeful, That type of energy flows out around you

and into the universe that you inhabit.

If you're negative or selfish, concerned only about yourself and your own

feelings, soon that negativity will envelop you and become the very air that

breathe.

I'm doomed.

Packed out there. Everybody ready?

Yeah, ready. Joe, you work with Renee.

Jamie, you work with Mallory. But I really... Do you have a problem with

No. Good. Do you have a problem with that?

No, fine.

Okay, everybody, let's go.

No, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. That's not the way it goes. No, Mallory, leave

it. I like it that way. No, it's wrong.

Mallory, you are the apprentice.

I think I know a little something about this design.

Jamie, it's bunching up and back.

It's fine. Now, is it possible for you to stop complaining just once?

Spray it. Don't spray it.

I'm sorry. I didn't know you were getting breath.

Just, I came by to wish you luck now.

Oh, good luck, honey. No, no, no, this is totally wrong. Who did you?

Who did him?

Did

you

confront her?

Alex, I can handle it myself, okay?

No, you're not handling it, man. I know you. You're too soft.

You're too forgiving, you know?

You're too good for your own good.

Alex!

I am not a pincushion, you know.

Will someone stop Dad before he goes around again?

Mel, Mel, I never really knew what you saw in the fashion world, but now that

I've had a taste of it, I'm hooked.

It's great, ma 'am. Well, I'm going to go out and watch the rest of the show.

Hey, Dad.

I hate my hair.

Jamie, I love this suit more and more every time I see it. Thank you. It'll be

the hit of the new season.

I think it's the best work you've ever done.

Mallory, grab that box of bracelets, please.

I need those bracelets.

I can't believe this.

That is my outfit.

I made that jacket. It took me months.

How can you stand here and smile and take the credit for it?

You really don't understand the business world, do you, Mallory? No, I don't,

Jamie. Why don't you explain it to me?

Explain how someone can pretend to be your friend and pretend to like you and

then turn around and stab you in the back.

Why did you do this to me?

Because I'm no good anymore.

What? I'm just burnt out, okay? The ideas are gone. And if I didn't come up

something soon, I was going to be gone too.

Let's just get this over with.

David? Yes?

Mallory has something she wants to say to you. Yes, Mallory, what is it?

I just want to say I really appreciate this opportunity. It's really been

Thank you. It's nice having you here.

You know, this would be much easier if you would just hate me.

It's easier for me, too, but I can't do that, okay?

If it's any consolation, my brother hates you.

That's it, people.

Show's over. Good. Okay, everyone, let's take a bow.

Just glad none of my peers were there to witness it.

Why didn't you let me in on what was happening now?

Well, I wanted to handle it myself, Dad.

I mean, you're a parent, and you always want to make it all better.

And you usually do.

But I wanted to make it all better by myself.

Well, you handled yourself tonight with grace and dignity.

I wish I could say the same thing for you, Dad.

You know, I guess this is mostly my fault for being so naive.

I mean, I've always looked at the world through rose -tinted glasses and

expensive Italian frames.

I gotta stop doing that.

No, Mel, no, you don't. You don't, okay? You go through life trusting and always

believing that the best is gonna happen. You can't give that up.

Helping, nurturing, reaching out to people. That's what life is all about,

Whoa, where am I?

I should have said something.

I mean, doesn't this make me kind of a, I don't know, pansy?

Oh, no, no, no. Listen, not at all.

If anything, it gives you strength of character.

No, not a pansy.

More like a rhododendron.

I'm proud of you now.

So, kids, what do you say? Should I...

Going to modeling professionally?

You do that and I'm transferring to a high school in China.

That color's all wrong for you.

Hey, man.

Doing okay?

I don't know, Alex.

I'm so disappointed.

I mean, I never thought the fashion world would be like this.

I had this... I had this vision of... of...

of what it would be like, that it'd be a bunch of designers all working

together, creating beautiful clothes.

Then people would pop their heads into other people's offices and say, does

need a raglan sleeve or a dolman sleeve or a kimono sleeve?

And I'd say, no, a regular set -in drive sleeve would be fine.

And then we'd all laugh and go to lunch.

Mal, you're good.

You know, your designs are the best in the show.

Nobody can take that away from you.

Thanks.

Jamie. All right. Well, good night, Mel. Good night. And, Mel, count the

silverware when she leaves.

Hi. Hi.

Can I come in? Sure.

What are you doing here?

I mean, it seemed to me that there was nothing more to say.

Well, yes, there is.

I told David.

You told him? Why?

Because I couldn't live with myself.

How could I do that to someone like you?

How could I do that at all?

You don't need to feel, Jamie. I mean, I've seen your work. It's incredible.

Maybe you're in a slump right now, but you'll come out of it.

You know, when I saw your sketches, they were so wonderful. They were so alive

and fresh.

They reminded me of what I was once.

I'm so sorry, Mallory.

Can you forgive me?

Yeah, I can forgive you.

Because, you know, I was thinking, if my designs were good enough for someone

like you to steal, then they're good enough for someone to buy.

And maybe I really do have what it takes.

You definitely do.

You know, I told David about your other sketches, how good they are.

And he wants to meet with you.

Really?

That's great. Thanks.

Mallory, you're really going to go far.

Maybe one day you can even give me some pointers.

Oh, you know, I have one of your skirts.

And to tell you the truth, in the back, it's a little banshee.

Don't go away. There's more Family Ties coming up in less than 30 seconds. And

tonight at 6, check out San Diego's favorite comedy lineup. That's right.

Friends, Will and Grace, and everybody loves Raymond.

Smile.

You're watching San Diego's home for comedy, KSWB. Watch the frog.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.