All language subtitles for Embeds s01e04

Yes, I know Politobomb is already
calling it Paintgate, but it's not

Watergate. The thing of it is, absolute
truth is a very rare and dangerous

commodity in the context of professional
journalism. You think it's bigger than

Watergate? Yes, that's a Hunter S.
Thompson quote, but it applies here.

you... Yes, yes, I hear you. No, I
agree.

It's huge.

I'm in Iowa. I'm not in Vegas.

I'm disappointed, but I understand.

Okay, bye.

Yes, I'm working on it right now.

Excuse me, sir. Can you hold on just one
second?

Yes.

What's going on?

They're pulling me off the trail.

No, they can't do that.

Well, they just did.

Yeah,

I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

Find me the next flight back to DC.

No, you have to fight this.

We have one job. Follow the candidate
wherever he goes. I failed.

I'm not cut out for the road anyway.

You're better at this than any of us.

Well, not better than Sid, apparently.

Cruz hit, okay? She got lucky last
night.

Hey, you belong here.

We'll see, I guess.

About last night.

Yeah, last night was fun.

You said that you liked me.

Is that true?

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Great, because I've been thinking that
when all this is over, that you and I...

Quinn, that can't happen.

Look, I had a few drinks last night, but
I have a boyfriend and... No, no, no,

you don't have to say anymore.

Quinn, you know what? I got it. I got
it.

Feels

like

a near -death experience.

Actually, I'm going to get that down.

It's not a near -death experience for
Marissa.

She's dead.

And we just barely survived the plane
crash.

Relax, Sully.

Carefully avoiding death.

So Marissa's the bird that flew into
Sully's engine, and the rest of us are

Sully and his passengers.

No, it's like you and I are the
passengers.

Quinn is Sully. Oh, my God, guys.

Marissa's gone, and all you think to do
is talk about Sully?

He's right.

Sully was calm.

He was focused. He did his job. We
should all learn something from Sully's

example. Maybe I should grow out my
mustache.

Sorry.

Stop talking about Sully.

Damn birds know what they deserve.

All I know after last night, I can't
hang like I used to.

No more wasting away what's left of my
youth on fleeting desires of the flesh.

The new Noah starts today.

Gather around, heathens. Get ready to
pay for your sins.

This is the Faith, Family, Freedom, and
Fudge Pops Forum, the most important

gathering of Christian conservatives in
all of Jasper County.

So be on your best behavior. And do not
touch the evangelicals. Why?

Do they bite?

It's cute.

Come on.

Let's go.

Follow the leader. Yeah, this looks
good. Come on.

Not here, man.

It's a holy place.

Jesus, it's cold for fudge pox, isn't
it?

Congrats on your big pancake, asshole.

Wow. Calling a woman an asshole is a
really gender -neutral thing to do,

I had no idea you were so woke.

You knew exactly what you were doing
last night.

Correct. Did you think I wasn't going to
do my job well?

No, I just didn't think that you would
screw us all over.

I'm... sorry. Did I cheat? Did I lie?
Did I ever say I wasn't going to the

fundraiser? You manipulated the
situation. Okay, you know what, Quinn?

because we ride on the same bus does not
mean we're on the same team.

Gov, that's Lambert DeVries. He's got
more influence on the Iowa Christian

than the Lord himself.

I hear he dips his hand in the
collection tray from time to time.

Judge not that you be not judged.

I don't know how that works.

Then Jail, Heber's wife, took a tent peg
and took a hammer in his hand and went

softly to him and drove the peg into his
temple. And he went down to the ground

where he was fast asleep and weary.

So he died.

Dude, the Bible's like Game of Thrones,
but even better. I still need your

second.

Mr. DeVry, this is TJ, the reporter I
was telling you about. You're going to

a brief interview with him about
Governor Dobson's evangelical outreach

the event. Hello, son.

Vernier tells me that your questions
will be softballs only.

She did.

It's very important to keep things
light. Don't want to rock the boat. I

you'll understand.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing us to
gather here on this blessed day.

And God loves America, and God surely
loves Iowa.

I'd like to begin with our Republican
frontrunner, Jack Stone, whose schedule

did not allow him to be here today.

But Mr. Stone has recorded a video
greeting instead.

Nice of him to make the effort.

The following is a message from Jack
Stone.

Jack Stone couldn't make it today, but
he wants you to know Indiana means the

world to him.

Indiana is known for its great
traditions of basketball, car racing,

things Indiana is known for.

And Jack really wishes he could have
made it, but he couldn't make it. But he

hopes you'll make it to the big vote
that's coming up.

This has been a message from Jack Stone.

When do I speak?

Directly after H. Charles Stenger.

Do not tell me that I'm losing to
Stenger. No, you're doubling him up,

to Reuters.

Four percent to two.

There's a four percent margin of error
on that poll.

Which means you could be at eight.

No, you're not at eight.

You going to get that?

No.

Next up, I'd like to introduce Mr.

H. Charles Deng.

Hello. This is the story of how one of
our forefathers, Mr. Thomas Jefferson,

the great architect of Monticello and
the Declaration of Independence, built

the pyramids with the help of Joseph.

The church is out there, yeah!

It's really happening right now?

At launch pad.

Launch pads for alien spacecraft.

We're for sure beating him. And they
land on the Great Pyramids. It's all in

book, friends.

Probably. Once you're ready, go to my
website.

Hey,

what's the name of the station in Reno
that broadcasts this drivel? Did you

forget how to use Google?

What? I'm trying to concentrate.

What's the name of the station there?
Dude, no, figure it out. Are you serious

right now?

You're the one who said we should focus
on doing our job. Do yours. Go on.

The hell did that mean?

You know what?

It's all good.

Got you, player. Dude, nice shot.

It's in the book.

It's an e -book.

Read it, friends.

Thank you.

Noah?

Hi. Hey, Jenna.

How's life on the campaign trail Francis
wrote?

I like life in a monastery, but with
less sex.

Which is why it's so great to see you.

I can't.

I'm going celibate.

Sorry. That's like Pitbull going
acoustic.

I buy that album.

Good luck with keeping it in your pants.

Newport, Rhode Island when I was in
short pants.

Mother Dobson taught me that fertile
soil...

Let's

cut to the chase on something that I've
been wanting to get off my chest for

some time now.

I agree with 90 % of you on 90 % of the
issues too

often.

I've kowtowed to what is politically
convenient.

And that's why I'm here now in front of
you stating the Republican Party

is on the wrong side of history when it
comes to gay marriage.

Governor, Governor, what motivated you
to speak out on such a hot -button

Was this a bit of a Hail Mary? I'm done
being cautious.

From now on, I'm just going to be me. If
that's not good enough to win, so be

it. Governor Dobbs. No, we're done.
We're done.

Well, I think we can safely stick a fork
in John Dobbs.

Oh, excuse me.

Nice turnout today, huh?

Well, yes, we're very pleased with the
level of engagement we've had.

So let's go back to what you were saying
about John Dobson.

Isn't it a bit premature to write him
off?

Son, I've been in Iowa politics since
Lady Gaga was playing pianos on Ludlow

Street. Oh, that's a deep cut.

I just wonder if this may play better
for Dobson in New Hampshire. There is no

New Hampshire unless you finish in the
top three in Iowa.

Yeah, see, the GOP's electorate's a lot
more secular in that area, and he's a

New England guy.

The day John Dobson becomes the
Republican nominee for President of the

States is the day a gaggle of geese
comes flying directly out of my behind.

Got it.

Thank you for your time, sir.

Who the fuck is Noah?

There.

Oh. My.

God.

Okay. Good. Yeah. Well, at least he's
finally fucking showering.

Noah!

Putz.

Dobson's actually getting some pretty
good buzz out of today.

I thought you said you got booed off
stage.

So it's better than good.

Might be a little bit better with some
real conversation.

Oh, sorry.

On the road, we're always on our phone,
even at dinner.

But you're not on the road anymore.

You're back here with me.

It feels really good to be back in D .C.
I'm going to support you no matter

what.

It's one big journey.

You're supposed to make mistakes. You're
supposed to learn.

Life's like a big highway, okay?

Okay, Rascal Flatts.

What?

Oh, never mind.

Stupid joke.

Is that Senator Crittenden at the bar?

I'm doing some public health project
stuff for his office right now.

You know the senator?

We met a long time ago.

Do you want me to intro you?

Yeah. Fair warning, he's a little bit...
You'll

see.

You know how people, how they do their
necks? Like they, you know, they put

in here.

I'm thinking maybe that I should have
that done. What do you think?

No?

Excuse me, Senator Crittenden?

Yeah. Colin Stratford?

How you doing? We met last year at your
fundraiser in Savannah.

Right.

It's good to see you. I'm going to ask
who this young lady is. Hi, Senator.

Marcia Aquino with Spectrum News. I saw
you up at the, you used to come up and

report. On the Hill. That's right. Now
I'm working on the Dobson campaign. You

guys, would you like to join me? Would
you like to sit?

Yeah. Would you love that? Would you
mind sitting on that side?

See, that way she can sit on this side.

Yeah. All right.

Could you put that down? I feel the
pages burning my skin.

The Old Testament keeps talking about an
eye for an eye, but the New Testament's

all about forgiveness. Okay. How is this
faith journey going, Noah 2 .0?

Thank you.

Hey, should we take Quinn and tell him
that we're down here?

Honestly, I'd rather read that Bible
cover to cover than see that boy.

I feel like it was a good moment for
Dobson, you know?

That maybe there's a chance... Stop.
False hope is a powerful but harmful

Oh, okay.

Well, my story got linked by the Haltman
file.

Iowa evangelical leader to Dobson grew
you.

It would be weird if my last drink on
the campaign trail was water.

Hey!

Is this celery for anybody?

This was the last food my grandfather
ate before he died.

I'd love to talk to you about the new
USAID bill.

There's a section in there about malaria
nets, and it can honestly save millions

of people.

I'm really about to speed on the malaria
thing, you know, right now.

By God, when I get there, you and I will
speed.

Sounds good.

And you, my lady, I feel like I'm
getting hypnotized with those eyes.

Don't look at me.

No, I do have a serious question without
looking at your eyes. Why has anybody

said anything, I mean anybody in the
press, about this problem that Perez

Sorry, his problem?

When he collects hairs.

Appreciate that, sir. Thank you.

Yeah, I'm actually sending that to you
right now. I'm going to send over that

footage and then I'm going to go get
some sleep.

You too.

Yes, thank you so much.

Perez collects hair.

No, not hair, ma 'am. Hairs.

That is so weird. How does he do it?
He'll snatch them, you know,

surreptitiously and stick them in his
pocket. And then he makes these little

animals out of them.

News like this about Perez could change
the whole primary race.

We are trying to have a conversation
over here.

I mean, that's fairly clear, isn't it?

Excuse me.

I mean, I've seen him do it in the
cloakroom there in the Senate.

I have to make a phone call. Sure you
do. Thanks very much.

Follow the mayors.

I didn't know you had that in you today.

I'm impressed.

I was just thinking about what you said.

About us not being on the same team.

Yeah, well, you know, we can help each
other out sometimes, but... Gotta draw

the line somewhere.

I know it sounds crazy.

No, hairs.

Plural.

Look, I'll even pay my own way.

Thank you, sir.

No, I promise I'll get it.

You're going to be impressed.

Well? Okay, so they got my replacement,
but he can't get out to Iowa for another

day, which gives me time to confirm a
second source.

A second story. So, like, what do you
think Perez's campaign is going to

that he makes little dolls out of
people's hair? Maybe I'll confront

if he'll admit it. That sounds a little
bit absurd.

Colin, this is my career. I have to try.

Good.

You didn't cough.

I just lost a bet with myself.

Hey, maybe I'm cooler than you think I
am.

Perfect.

I was named after Bob Dylan's, huh?

That's your parents.

No, no, no. They let me choose my name
when I was four.

It's pretty fucking cool.

Don't tell anyone this. When I first got
here,

I was a little intimidated by you guys.

Ew. No, you're like a real reporter.

Yeah, I know, but guys are like, I don't
know, tight group. It's hard being a

new girl.

I mean, it can't be that hard when you
look like you.

I'm surprised you and Noah haven't
hooked up yet.

Noah.

Oh, my God.

I got over guys like Noah in eighth
grade.

He's so not my type.

So who's your type?

I don't know, Quinn.

Who's my type?

I once was found, but now I'm lost.

Amen.