Original subtitles

I love mornings in the park.

The light through the trees, the birds and the squirrels.

Is that a squirrel?

What the hell am I looking at?

Anyway, so peaceful, so tranquil.

I mean, outside it is. Inside there, it's not.

Where are my shorts?

They're in the dryer. Remember? I was gonna wash, you were gonna fold.

Gotta get 'em out. They're gonna be wrinkly.

Mom, my heart is broken.

And I can't find my shoes.

I should probably not go to school, right?

Oh, honey, I know you're sad about that dog, but you have to go to school.

Sorry. Your shoes were stinking up the kitchen, so I threw them somewhere.

Oh, God. The smell.

Cole's shoes! They're blocking the stairs.

I'm trapped up here. I'm gonna try and jump over them.

Molly, hot iron.

-Dad's freaking out. -I'm not freaking out!

Owen's freaking out because he has a video conference call with the Park League

in about one minute.

And he thinks it'll look unprofessional if he's not wearing pants.

Which it will.

Who's the Park League, you ask?

Here's the crazy thing about Central Park.

They get about 90% of their money from the Park League,

which basically is nice rich people who got together in the '70s

to turn this place around.

It used to look like this.

No, I won't cut my hair, Dad!

But now it looks like this.

Which you knew already 'cause of pictures and postcards of Central Park.

I bet you're saying, "Why tell me all this, Mr. Handsome,

albeit, slightly unhealthy, Busker?

Why show flashbacks and talk about leagues?

Is it a super league of some kind?

Is this a superhero story?" Well, kind of.

See, Owen will be tested today in a way he didn't expect.

Molly truly wants to be a superhero

and just might get her chance along with her brother, Cole.

And Paige is gonna end up right in the middle of the action too.

Even though, at first, you'll be like...

It'll involve the Park League and the city and...

Just wait. Just wait.

My video call is in, like, T-minus two minutes, and I'm shortless.

Honey, the camera's not gonna see below your waist,

unless the Park League people insist on looking at your legs.

And who can blame 'em?

Give us a quick strut. One for Mama. Come on.

-Paige, no. -Come on.

Give me a quick hit just to get me going.

Okay. I'm late. I'm off to work.

In that wrinkly blouse?

Oh, God. You're right.

This doesn't scream real deal news reporter.

This screams sad, frumpy lady with no mirrors in her house.

Okay, do me. Do me, please. Real quick.

So many parent body parts on display right now.

Paige, I have a video conference in one minute.

Everybody, out! Out!

Hey. How come Mom doesn't have to wear a shirt? Mine's coming off.

-Good morning, everyone. -Whoa, Owen. Little close, huh, buddy?

We can see up your nose. Is that what you were going for?

There we go. Is that better?

It's less personal.

Right. So, you all know a lot of plants...

Owen, was there a mugging yesterday in Skater's Circle?

Yes. A tiny mugging. No one hurt. Like a mini-mug.

I love mini things.

Should we be concerned?

That's a busy spot. Lots of people around usually.

No. I'm headed over there now to check it out this morning.

Everything's smooth. Everything's under control.

-I smell burning. -No, no, no!

Your tighty whities are mighty tighty.

Good Lord!

These are the offices of Paige's newspaper, What's New, New York?

It's the city's most absorbent paper three years running.

I have got a ton of ideas for my first hard-hitting news story.

Idea one: I go after the Mafia. Idea two...

Cover the City Council Contracts Committee meeting.

What? Contracts committee? That's so boring.

It's hyperlocal. That's a good angle for us.

The big papers have dropped that kind of coverage.

Hyperlocal? I think maybe that only applies to vegetables.

Paige, your editor is giving you an assignment on the first day

after he agreed to let you cover news.

-Fine! -Yeah. You got cream cheese on my door.

I'm coming back for it! There. Happy?

Oh, no. It's Sewerpipe Mike!

We have no one to blame but ourselves. We created him.

Don't put grease down the drain, people.

And don't flush baby wipes!

He's almost 40% baby wipe!

But it's you I'm gonna put down for a nap.

Can't get free!

Hold on!

Nice try.

Five-second rewind activate.

Hold on!

Nice thinking. Gas dissolves grease, huh?

Yes. It's a powerful solvent.

Just wash really well. It'll dry out your beautiful skin.

Did you say my beautiful skin?

-What? -What was that?

Five-second rewind activate.

Gas dissolves grease, huh?

Yes. It's a powerful solvent.

Just wash really well. It'll dry out your skin.

And no one smoke, in general, but especially right now.

Thanks, Fista-Puffs. You're so great at everything and not awkward at all.

Wait, what? What do you mean "not awkward at all"?

Oh, I mean, you're just not awkward.

I know. But when you say that, it makes me think I am awkward.

No, no, no.

Sigh.

Feeling sad, I take it?

I get it. I get it. The heart, it's...

It's tricky stuff. Trust me. I know.

How do you know?

Are you serious? How about hundreds of drawings of a boy I've talked to once?

No offense, but I really don't think our relationships are in the same league.

One is a love pure and true and eternal. And one is your thing.

Yep. Thanks.

Sorry. You came outta nowhere.

You probably don't think that you came outta nowhere.

You probably had a clear plan of where you were going to go.

Okay. I see by your eyes that you would like to get away from here,

so I'm just gonna sit back down and put my arms over my head

and sink into a hole.

Here I go.

Did that sound as bad as I think it did?

Did you think it sounded really bad?

Another day of this

Living in a made-up world where I fit

I know I can dominate

More than two-dimensional space

Did I just break that? I'm sorry.

And if I had my way, I could surprise them

I'd flip the script and say

Everybody else's lines, like

Hello. Good morning to you, fine sir. You're looking well.

Why am I doing an accent?

Or yeah. Sports. I mean, right?

I wouldn't get tongue-tied, get nervous

But he's so tall

How old is he?

She's gorgeous

Is it too much to ask for?

I wanna be more

I wanna be

A superhero

Watch me fly

Anywhere that I want to go

And you can give me all your problems

'Cause you know I'll solve them

It's a secret everybody ought to know

Weirdos make great superheroes

Weirdos make great superheroes

See, now it's catching on

We're in our very own personal Comic-Con

And everyone's invited

Yeah!

Weirdos united

And I can be with my true love

Shampagne, here I come

-Loving a dog romantically is very cool. -Yeah.

Weird is the only rule

And I

Wanna be a superhero

Watch me fly

Anywhere that I want to roam

-And you can give me all your problems -I'll give you all my problems

-'Cause you know I'll solve them -'Cause you know I'll solve them

Weird is super And now you know

-Weirdos make great superheroes -Weirdos make great...

Weirdos make great superheroes

I just need to see him.

But he's all the way up in that penthouse, so it's impossible.

-Nothing's impossible. -Did your voice just get really weird?

Listen, Cole. After school, we are going to the Brandenham Hotel.

And I'm gonna get you up in that penthouse, gosh darn it.

Whoa, girl. Look at you. All confident.

I know. I'm trying something. I think it's going really well.

You're gonna see Shampagne again.

Do the chairs look all right? Are they too close together?

Do meetings still have chairs,

or should we be like those tech companies and stand?

Should we order a foosball table? What do we do?

-The chairs are fine. Calm down. -I am calm!

We're about to have $500 billion in one room.

We gotta knock these bozos' wieners off.

-Now, tweeze me while I get pumped up. -Fine.

Not my eyebrows. Start with my moles.

Fat Man first, then Little Boy, then get my chin.

Oh, this one's a fighter.

Be the ball. Bring it home.

I hope they don't talk over you like the last meeting.

They didn't talk over me.

They just kept saying words while I was saying words.

Right. It's just... I mean,

sometimes it seemed like those investors were just outright ignoring you.

Well, I'm not going to let them this time. They will respect me and fear me.

Can we talk about the dog in the BabyBjörn?

You heard the dog therapist.

This is to help recreate the bond that got broken

when he was so traumatized by being free...

I mean, being out there.

No wonder someone got mugged up here.

There's no one around.

Where is everyone? People skate here, right? Like, all the time?

Yeah, you know, not so much anymore.

-What? Since when? -Well, since Glorious Gary stopped coming.

He's really the heart of the scene, you know.

I know he's the heart of the scene. I've known Gary for years.

-It's Glorious Gary. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Glorious Gary.

Did I ever love to watch that man move on eight wheels.

And when he'd shoot the moon... Exquisite.

But you never liked those skaters, did you?

Well, "never liked" is a little strong.

I liked the skaters. I just didn't like how they treated the place.

-All their gum wrappers. -The gum wrappers?

Yeah. They tossed gum wrappers everywhere.

It drove me crazy.

But if Glorious Gary and his crew had been here,

maybe the mugging wouldn't have happened.

Oh, you're walking over there. Okay.

Hey, Owen. Maybe you and Glorious Gary should, I don't know, bury the hatchet.

I know where he works. You could go see him and apologize.

-For what? -For being uptight and uncool in general.

I wasn't uptight! I wasn't uptight!

Waste treatment disposal plant number five needs a repainting.

We have multiple bids.

Valve replacements on the Murray Hill fire hydrants.

We have seven bids.

-Did I miss anything? -Yes.

You missed a fistfight between Councilman Collins and Councilman Kim.

Wow. When was that?

1998.

Oh, well. I'm gonna go back to paying a lot of attention.

Okay. So Paige isn't excited yet,

but the meeting she's covering is very important.

Trust me.

By the way, guess who took my advice

and went to go make peace with Glorious Gary?

Which is surprising because Owen really doesn't leave the park if he can help it.

I mean, he doesn't have real-life clothes.

Here we go. Easy-peasy.

Oh, God! Okay, oncoming cars.

Wait for the walking sign to walk out of the park. Right, right, right.

Do it while we can

What are you doing here? This isn't your beat.

Mr. Lead Detective from the Special Gum Wrapper Unit.

Nice to see you too, Gary.

Look, I got boom boxes to fix here.

So I really don't need any of your crabby crab face.

I don't have crabby crab face. If anyone has crabby crab face, it's you.

Well, shouldn't I? You hassled me every time I put on my skates.

You didn't respect the park!

We know when we're not wanted.

I heard from Disco Doug that you wanted to rip up the pavement

and plant flowers or something.

Yeah. 'Cause it's a park.

And your rules. Your crazy rules!

My rules weren't crazy.

-You killed the scene. -I didn't know gum was a scene.

-Get outta my shop. -It's not your shop, Gary!

It says "Larry's Stereo Repair" on the sign.

Well, Larry's my best friend, so it's like my shop.

Your name is Gary and you have a best friend named Larry?

Yeah! So what?

That's... I don't even know what to say about that.

Out!

That went well. I'll make some calls.

Don't worry about it. Let's keep moving. Let's keep moving.

Hello, every money... body. Everybody.

Sorry. Thank you for coming.

What if I were to tell you

that you could get in on the ground floor of the biggest real estate deal

in the history of the world?

Hi. Quick question over here, Bitsy.

Are you wearing a dog?

-It's Shampagne. -Yes, please.

But why are you wearing a dog?

It's Shampagne. He was traumatized.

It's a whole thing. Don't worry about it.

I'm not gonna lie. It's a little distracting.

No, it's not! It's perfectly normal. Now...

Damn it. Hold still.

-Take him out of here. -Like, to a farm?

-No. To his room. -Fine.

-You're too nice. -All right.

Oh, son of a bitch.

Why has it always been like this?

I wish I could forget the past

The kids at school picked me last

I wasn't tall, I wasn't fast

I was small and a total outcast

Maybe it's time I forgive them.

No.

I'll make 'em pay proper respect to me

Pay for not accepting me

Pay for neglecting me

Pay for their sins God, where do I begin?

My brother was the golden child

He taunted and reviled me

I envied Little Orphan Annie

The only person meaner than my father Was the nanny

I'll make 'em pay for their condescension

Pay with their full attention

Pay for the privilege of kissing my toes As I sit on my throne

I shower them with golden opportunities

But no one bites

They belittle me

I'm constantly ignored

And no one sees my genius

I'd like to be adored

Must I grow a penis?

Seriously.

I'll make them pay

Tell the bankers to wire

Pay to build my empire

Pay My desire is to raise up the rent

And squeeze every cent

They will pay

Oh, they will pay

And they won't dismiss me

I'm Bitsy, I'm ritzy, I'm glitzy

They can't resist me

I'll make them pay

Hello. Are we guests at the hotel?

May I see your keycard?

Oh, welcome back, Mr. and Mrs. Ottomeier. Did you enjoy the museum?

You should. You paid for it.

He knows everyone.

I mean, hey. It'll be fine.

I'm gonna create a diversion. You slip in and then head straight to the elevators.

-Straight up to the elevators. Right. -Relax. Relax.

The most important thing is to look rich. Like you belong.

Show me your rich pose.

No, not like that. Do it better.

What is that? What are you doing with your hands?

I'm throwing all my money in the air like confetti.

Maybe don't do that.

Or, I don't know, try it.

Anyway, get on the elevator with someone who has a keycard.

Then pat your pockets and say something like,

"Mine must be in my dinner jacket."

I don't know. I guess that seems pretty doable.

-Great. Let's go. -Wait.

What if Shampagne doesn't remember me?

Well, yeah. That would hurt. But there's only one way to find out.

Okay. I was kinda hoping you'd be like,

"Of course he'll remember you. You're great." Blah, blah, blah.

Oh, totally. That too. That too.

Now get ready to strut in there like a rich, pompous little gentleman.

Sneezing fit.

Do you have a Kleenex? Does anyone have a Kleenex?

Hey, here's a tissue for your issue.

Thank you.

Oh, wow.

Bear with me, guys.

It's fighting me.

Okay, I think we got 'em. Thank you.

Oh, boy. No, thanks. That's not how this transaction works.

I believe the show starts at 8:00.

-Oh, that's great. Well, we'll meet you. -Oh, good.

Yes, well, that's about it.

-Fabulous. -I got them.

Must have left my dinner in other jacket.

Yes.

I have a feeling you need my help in not being here.

Hey, I know where I know you from.

You're that kid. The one who found Shampagne.

I just wanted to see him again.

We bonded, like the most you can bond.

And there were things left unsaid.

Listen, I'm sorry.

I would tell you you can see him when they walk him.

But he's on lockdown. No walks.

They put down Wee-Wee Pads on the balcony.

They even have a trainer who goes up to work him out up there.

-A trainer? -Yeah.

A lot of stretching, Pilates, core work, you know.

He doesn't need core work. His core's perfect!

Sorry, kid.

Here. In case you need it.

-Thanks. Oh! It's wet. -Yeah.

So, we're gonna try this again with Owen and Glorious Gary.

And this time, I'll be here to help

with my always good words and delightful dimples.

Do I have dimples? I might not have dimples.

Owen. Glorious Gary. Thank you for meeting me here.

I know you spoke earlier, and it wasn't great.

But, Glorious Gary, you don't talk with your mouth,

you talk with skates.

No, I also talk with my mouth.

I'm making a good point.

And, Owen, the second you heard that Glorious Gary wasn't skating up here,

you were upset. I saw it.

And you probably just couldn't say that to Glorious Gary

because of your litter issues,

which are a total vibe killer.

It's the park rules. Littering's a crime committed by criminals. But yeah, sure.

So let's come together and skate it out. Right, Owen?

-Yeah. Wait, what? -It's the only way to make this right.

I mean, no. I'm not really a skater. I have a high center of gravity.

Yeah. You're not a skater. You're a hater. Let's forget it.

It was stupid of me to think

you'd care about something that wasn't a plant anyway.

Oh, he went there, plant-wise.

Gary, wait.

Glorious Gary, let's skate.

-I'm dying. I'm dying! -He's fine.

Oh, it hurts. It hurts!

Ow, heart! You son of a bitch!

He just didn't have lunch.

-That's him. -He heard you.

I can't believe it. What do I do?

-Howl back. -Oh, right.

He remembers me.

You were right. We did it.

He remembers me

I'm so relieved

He remembers me

I should've believed

He remembers me

We'll be best pals

He remembers me

What a boost in morale

-And I'm feeling like a superhero -I'm

Weirdos make great superheroes

You can give us all your problems

'Cause you know we'll solve 'em

It's a secret everybody should know

Weirdos make great superheroes

Weirdos make great superheroes

And now for the final items on the agenda: the renewals of the city's P3s.

-What are the P3s? -Public-private partnerships.

Oh, my God. It's more boring when you say the whole thing. I prefer P3s.

Like the business improvement districts. Times Square, Bryant Park...

Yeah, I got it. Thanks. Thank you.

Motion to re-ratify the Union Square partnership.

-All in favor. -Aye.

Motion to re-ratify the Hudson Yards Hell's Kitchen Alliance.

-All in favor. -Aye.

Motion to re-ratify the contract for the Central Park League.

-All in favor. -Aye.

No.

What's going on?

Councilman Leo Shallenhammer just voted no.

But everyone else voted yes.

If the vote's not unanimous,

the Park League contract automatically goes into a debate period.

So they have 60 days to debate it and get it ratified.

And if not, their contract with the city ends.

We're talking about Central Park?

The one that's central? The park that's in the middle?

Are you really a reporter?

This is huge. Oh, crap.

Downtown, downtown. Two-step. Turn.

Owen, you're not gonna believe this.

The Park League contract is, I don't know, in debate, or something.

It's a P3 thing. P3 is lingo. I know a lot of lingo now.

I don't wanna worry you. Everything is probably okay,

but you should possibly, totally be worried.

I'm gonna head home.

Is that... Dad?

Oh, my God. That's horrifying. I mean...

Go, Dad!

Is it done?

There's the fist pump. That's the signal we agreed on.

Helen said it was too big, but she's a dork.

Anyway, everyone!

The Central Park League contract has just been put on hold by the City Council.

I feel like you're saying that like it's a big deal,

but I don't get why it's a big deal.

It means that soon funds to the park will be cut off.

And when those funds are cut off, the park will start to die.

And when the park starts to die, people will turn against it.

And then they will sell.

That is interesting.

You have my attention.

Enjoy your park while you can, you stupid New Yorkers,

'cause Bitsy's in the big leagues now.

I just want you to know, Gary, I'm sorry.

The skaters are as important to the park as plants.

I mean, not as important, but very close. Kinda close.

Anyway, it'd be great to have you guys back.

I was just thinking I'd maybe get rid of those signs.

-They seem kinda... -Uptight.

I was gonna say wordy, but yeah, that too.

All right. It's a deal. Now come out here and spread your legs.

-What? Why? -I'm gonna shoot the moon through them.

-No. -Yes.

Come on! You have the perfect legs for a man to shoot the moon under!

Don't waste your gift!

All right. Oh, God.

Moon!

Beautiful.

-It seems like Gary did all the work. -Just go with it. He needs this.

I like to think that's how I came outta Mom.

Gross.

We gotta do it while we can

We gotta do it while we can

We gotta do it while we can

There's no time to waste So take my hand

Let me see the crab walk

My feet are on fire

Let me see the iceberg

I'm just trying not to fall

Let me see the grapevine

Look out below

Let me see the side slide

I'm too young to die

-We gotta do it while we can -Together

We gotta do it while we can

-We gotta do it while we can -Together

There's no time to waste So take my hand

Do the snake walk

Do the hurricane

Do the circle walk

-And the kick fake -Help!

Do the toe jam

And the split roll-back

Do the five star

And the backspin

I got you, buddy

I'm sorry I judged you

I really need your moves tonight

I told you don't be uptight

I'm rolling because you

You got me feeling out of sight

When Owen checks his phone

His mind will be blown

And his shorts may be too

He might poop his shorts

Ignorance is bliss

He doesn't know this

He has everything to lose

-We gotta do it while we can -Together

-We gotta do it while we can -Do it, do it, do it

-We gotta do it while we can -Together

There's no time to waste So take my hand

-We gotta do it while we can -We gotta do it

We gotta do it while we can

-We gotta do it while we can -We gotta do it

There's no time to waste So take my hand

We gotta do it while we can

We gotta do it while we can

We gotta do it while we can

There's no time to waste

So take my hand

We gotta do it now

Do it while we can

Come on and do it

We gotta do it while we can

While we can

-Do it -So take my hand

Gotta do it while we can

Do it, do it, do it, do it

Hey, yeah We gotta do it, baby

We gotta do it while

We can We gotta do...