Original subtitles

As you know, pot is legal. I've brought you proof from pot dispensaries all

around the state of these deviant behaviors, of these mongrels.

No, stop it, please!

Yeah, I love that, that it's legal now and I can have sex with any girl we

Bob, what are you doing here?

This wind is a documentary of someone else's point of view. Answer that, Rob.

What kind of filth do you employ?

We've had enough, Mr. Robert.

We will keep our vote for no prohibition.

I don't think there's anything hotter than watching your face when you come.

Watching your face when you come.

Do you want some of this?

You know you do.

You must pay.

Now here's a story about my life. Yeah.

I love myself.

All roads have left me. My brain is fried.

From all the farmers that I've met.

Now I've got the little stand to put the money in my hands. I'm around.

Screw you all. More for me. Money. Bam!

I am so big, you're small, that is all.

What's that duck on my shoe?

Money.

Need more money.

I want money.

Yeah,

what is it?

Hi, sir. Sorry to call you on your personal line, but your brother is here.

What the fuck is he doing there?

And not alone.

You told me to call in case that quote unquote cock sucking money mooching.

Yes, asshole.

If he ever stepped in your bank again.

Yeah, I'll be there in a few minutes.

Nothing turns me on more, makes me wet, than seeing you angry.

Where is that motherfucker?

Get the fuck out of my way. You're fired!

Where's that prick?

Uh, hi sir, he's in your office.

Barbiturates fuck with your head more than you know.

I believe it. Yeah.

Whoa. Jesus.

You have some fucking balls.

Rob. What the fuck?

If you weren't my brother, I wouldn't know where I'd be.

How are you, my sweet and lovely brother?

I'm good. Thanks for asking.

Listen, this is an entrepreneurial friend of mine.

Do I know you?

No, we just met. Why are you bothering me?

Because you bother me all the time.

Amuse me. What do you got, potheads?

Well, credit assistance.

In the smoking industry, it's called hash cash.

Hmm. You know, you and I aren't too different.

I also have a relationship with the tobacco industry.

And we have a few stock.

Know a lot of people.

Oh, actually, I have this nice little app.

That whenever you speak into it, it changes your voice into a chronic

Pretty nifty.

Pretty nifty.

Yeah.

Monday.

Oh,

well, look at the time.

I have another business meeting to attend to, but I will definitely be in

contact, Mr.

Mustache.

Mustache Bill.

Such an intriguing name, Mr. Mustache.

Just leave your contact info with Janine and I'll be in touch.

Thank you.

That

went

well, don't you think?

Okay, Mr.

Mustache. Oh, man.

Seriously, you could have came up with a better name than that.

I got nervous, man.

Look, Mustache Dan, Alan.

Hey, Rob. How you doing? Nice to meet you. I'm Dan Allen.

Uh, you didn't help.

Well, he's not going to okay with the board. Maybe he didn't recognize me.

No, he recognized you, all right.

Better keep your nose clean for a bit.

Bob, that's me, Mr. Clean.

Yellow.

I've got a job for you. Lots of money involved.

Who's this?

Shut up.

Just be at the bank tonight at 12 a .m.

I'll be robbing. Take that asshole's money.

There'll be a lot.

Hmm. Rob?

That asshole?

Count me in, bro.

Sweet.

About to rob, rob.

Got cold front job.

About to rob, rob.

I'm about to rob this store, okay?

Okay. Don't tell anybody.

Especially not the blue and white cars.

Don't tell any of the blue and white cars you see.

Oh, shit.

I don't know what that was. I just broke it.

Wait. What?

What are you doing?

System deactivated.

Argent World Bank thanks you for your help keeping our artifact safe.

Oh, yes.

I'm in.

Perfect. Just keep walking straight ahead.

Pass the two paintings on the right.

Don't fuck around.

Oh, shit.

What?

Nah, bro. This painting I saw.

This shit just sabotaged my entire moral perspective on taste.

Like, there's no civil way to say this. Like, this shit is just ugly as fuck.

Shut up. I like it. Just keep moving forward.

is this?

Shit is like a dream.

Yo, this shit is like a dream, man.

I

got

it all right.

Good job.

You should take this time to celebrate.

Mm -hmm.

Right.

Everybody's high around me. High around me is high around me.

Everybody's high around me. Right.

Everybody's high around me.

Don't even call me Weedy Bill anymore.

Yes, I have reason to believe my bank is being robbed.

Yes.

I mean, no.

No, I wasn't laughing. It wasn't an evil, maniacal laugh. It wasn't.

Yes, my bank is being robbed. Please, go check it out. There's somebody there.

Yeah, that's great.

Just adjusting, and give me some more.

One more.

Hello?

Hey, what's up?

Yo, I'm locked up, man.

What? Yo, man.

I don't even know.

I answered this anonymous call last night. They said they had a job for me,

it was to screw your bro over by robbing his bank and getting money. Two things

I enjoy, but don't get enough of. I'm going to have to come down and get you.

Where are you? Yo, man, don't even bother, man. I can't even get bailed

You know they have to do that whole investigative bullshit, man.

Fuck.

All right, well, I'm going to try to help you out. Come on, man, 60 seconds.

Let's go. Let's go.

Shit. What did the guy sound like?

You know, the thing, it seemed like he was a bit of a chain smoker.

You know, other than that, he's real quick talking, you know, real direct.

You know, kind of bossy. You know what? He did have some very bad taste.

Bad taste?

How so?

He liked your brother's shitty painting.

Yeah, man. I'll let you know. Watch your ass.

But first, I'm going to finish with you.

Wait. Let's see.

You are now three feet away.

Four feet.

Five.

Seven.

Yeah.

Your brother is here.

Man, how can you do that? I know it was you. Sit down.

I don't like you. I don't like anything that you stand for. I'm on the verge of

just hating you and despising your existence.

But it kind of invigorates me to see you so miserable.

I'm going to use the surveillance video of the robbery to help my campaign.

To show how evil Doobie Rollers and Weedheads are.

Seriously?

Fucking, why do you hate marijuana and fucking people that smoke it so much,

man? It's quite ingenious if I do say so myself.

It's just so not cool, man.

People who do it are just airheads.

They're just relaxed attitude.

It just pussifies our entire generation and what our ancestors worked so hard to

do. Cigarettes. Now that is cool.

Take a look back.

You had people smoking cigarettes in TV and movies.

They were cool and classy, not stoned and dopey.

People back then took action. They had a plan, a sense of direction. My God, it

was beautiful.

And I aim to keep that spirit alive.

Okay, okay.

I'm done with my soapbox.

But in reality, it's taking revenues from the tobacco companies.

Man, and then I lose money, and these Wheaties are just cock -blocking me from

making sweet, sweet love to all that money that's coming in.

All right.

I'll see you later, prick.

It seems that you have an extreme case of irritant dermatitis, an allergic

reaction to money, which is why you're scratching all the time.

Yes, so my only prescription is to avoid money for a while. Yes, because if you

don't, it'll get worse. And even that bathing stuff that you talked about, no

more bathing with money. What? It'll only get worse, Rob.

Yes. No.

Yes. No.

Yes. Rob.

Rob! Nurse!