Original subtitles

It's about how credit unions really are a better alternative.

How anyone who really thinks about it should not have their money in a bank.

They should have their money in credit.

What the fuck, Rob?

I'm trying to sleep.

Oh, no. No, no, not one of your stupid nightmares.

They're not stupid, Lita. They're fucking terrifying.

They're stupid.

Go back to sleep.

I can't go back to sleep. I'm fucking terrified.

All right, all right, all right, all right.

Jesus fucking Christ. All right, all right, Rob.

Tell me about your nightmare.

Okay. Thanks, Lisa.

Oh, fuck you, Rob. I just want to go back to sleep.

I mean, is this the same one from before?

Please say no. Yes. Oh, my God.

Only this time poor people have taken over the world. I can't find a good

No one will clean my apartment, park my car. I have to carry shit and get dirty.

Fucking scariest dream I ever had.

Well, um... Uh, does talking about it make it better?

No, it doesn't.

I'm still scared.

Well... And awake.

You know what? I'm sorry that talking about it didn't fucking help, but I'm

fucking going back to sleep!

Go back to sleep. No! Go back to sleep.

All right, I'll go for a run.

I'll see you after work.

Oh, wait.

Shit. I've had dinner with my brother Bob and Amanda, my mother.

You ready to meet them?

Wait, seriously?

You're asking me this now?

Yes. Rob, I'm trying to sleep.

What don't you understand?

I'm so tired.

Forget it. Whatever. I'm done with you. Fuck you. Bye. No! Fuck you!

I met you last week. You want to introduce me to your parents?

It's my brother and mother.

Not daddy.

Wait.

Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?

You call your father daddy?

Ruthless asshole. Who's afraid of poor people taking over the world? That

doesn't even make fucking sense.

He makes me, okay?

Loser. Loser.

Amanda, your son has an idea that will change the

banking industry indefinitely.

That's right, Amanda.

I'm going to go digital in the banking industry.

Are you high?

I didn't think you did drugs.

I only do pharmaceuticals. I'm not a pothead like Bob.

Fuck you, Rob.

Why don't you drink some alcohol with your quaaludes?

Whatever, drug head.

Why don't you go take a break? No, fuck you, Rob.

Cannabis doesn't give you hangovers like Pfizer.

I don't like any smoke.

Ruins your skin.

The asshole.

Even Amanda thinks pot's up.

What do you mean by digital, Rob?

I want to fire all the tellers and go completely digital. What? You can't do

that.

I've got people on my side too, buddy. I'm ready for war.

Bring it, little baby.

If we weren't in the presence of ladies, I'd... Whatever, douche. Sit down

before I have you removed from the business.

Dumbass. You can't have me removed from the family.

Bob. Listen to your brother and sit down. I can do whatever I want. Sit

sit down. I am the senior chair. I make the decisions in this bank.

Honey.

Honey. That sounds a little non -political, don't you think?

Yeah.

But who do I have to impress?

I am the bank.

Yeah!

What were you, born in an animal cage there, tiger?

They are people.

They have feelings.

Do you know what feelings are?

Fuck you, Bob.

You're an asshole.

No, of course you don't. You're too doped up on barbiturates to even hear

the tellers and go completely off.

Want one, honey?

Yeah. Do you want

one?

Amanda.

Okay. You pressured me into it.

Does anybody want some pot? No!

Oh, no.

Feel the drive!

He's right, Bob.

World power doesn't come by giving people things.

The U .S. gives free food to poor countries all the time, and you know

happens. Yes, they use their own guys to rough up the locals, steal their shit,

and enslave them to buy it back like they do here.

Yes, you are right.

And that is how they dominate the rest of the free world.

Make people your friends, and it goes a lot farther. You have to agree with me,

Mom.

You think making friends with poor people is a good money -making decision?

You're dumber than I thought.

I'm sorry, honey.

With power comes more power.

There's nothing like it.

Learn from it.

A good spiritual bond is better than any control you can have over another human

being. Who cares about power?

Uh -oh. I think she choked on one of her pills.

Are you serious? Is he serious?

I can't deal with this. I am so sorry.

Thank you so much. It has been a pleasure, but I have to go.

I can't deal with this. Come on. Come on, Bob. We're leaving right now.

Me? Come on, Rob.

Yeah. I'm not going anywhere with you.

Bye.

Steve cute!

Asshole! Yeah, he's an asshole.

You're so valuable to the company. Thank you. Oh,

I

mean, you were so valuable.

All the good and all the time and your

thanks, your appreciation.

Next!

Oh.

It's my favorite employee.

Hey. How's it going? Thank you. Yeah, it's so good to see you.

Awesome. I know.

I'm just handing out these things here.

You want one?

Oh, yeah, I'll take one. Here, let me go.

Oh, yeah.

Let me do it.

I'm on it.

Are you kidding?

No. No, I like you, but it's nothing personal.

I'm doing business.

Thanks.

Chum.

Oh, hi.

Very nice to see you. Thank you so much for coming.

There we go.

All right, then.

You want, would you like this?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, sorry.

Oh, oh, sorry.

Oh. Thank you. Yes, bye.

Madame Persephone, I lay my life at your feet.

Look into my crystal ball.

You will build me a garden groundskeeper, and it will be internal.

For that, you will now hear your fortune.

Tomorrow, or the next day, I don't know when it's going to happen, but you will

find a nickel and flip it.

You will look up and see a hawk flying over the sun.

And crashed into the woman of your dreams of a path long forgotten.

But what if it is head?

Get out!

Go!

What are you waiting for? Come on.

You need patience.

You should have it. You're a gardener. You wait things for it to grow. I don't

understand.

Nice sound, Bob.

You're funny.

Yeah. You ready for this, champ?

Sure. I hate Rob.

I'll help you take him down. Yeah!

Programming? There you go.

What did you do?

I read his banking account, so it would give all the customers lots of money.

Wow. Yeah.

You're awesome.

Thanks.

Oh, my hairbrush. Very important.

Okay.

Chelsea,

what's up?

Hi, Bob.

I knew I'd find you here.

Of course you did, my fortune -telling princess. I am your princess.

Now let me read your fortune.

Read it.

Right here. Right there.

Yeah, read it.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, what'd it say?

I can't believe I didn't see this before.

What? You have an abundance of children.

Yeah, you're right.

But, um, about that.

You also want a dark sorcerer to run your country.

You're good.

I've been looking for someone like you for millennia. Have you?

You've been looking for a millennia? Why? What's a millennia? I have no idea.

I've just been around that long.

Wow. Yeah.

Wow. Now tonight begins the 48 -hour sex ritual.

I'm so tempted, but...

There's so many other people's lives at stake.

I have to save the world.

Rob is trying to fire everyone.

So please wait.

No, no, no. Hold that thought. No, it's done.

Tomorrow the plan will fall apart. It will.

It will.

No. He's not. The plan is falling apart. Okay, okay. Why don't you listen to me?

Okay. I'm a fortune teller. Okay.

All right. What do you want to do?

Come on. Let's go.

Okay.

Whoa. All right.

oh my god

this shit fucking fall through

A tote.

A tote.

Everybody please grab a glass.

Yes. Thank you for returning to your jobs.

I hope this brave new foray into the world of robotics will teach you to be

better bankers and better employees in the future.

Additionally, due to the tremendous monetary loss that incurred to the ATM

malfunctions, you will be...

receiving a 10 % salary decrease to help defray corporate expenses.

I hope you enjoy the rest of this party, and thank you very much.

Mmm.

This wine is delicious.

Nice speech, man. Yeah, thanks. I don't know what

the fuck happened. It was the perfect plan.

I sabotaged it.

Bob. Who doesn't know how to use computers to sabotage it?

I don't, but never mind.

You'll get them next time, Tiger.

Yeah, thanks for the love, brother.

See? Now we're getting somewhere.

You don't stop, do you?

No, I don't.

Do you?

I gotta get out of here. Okay.

Where you going?

Hey, ride it like a cowboy!

Yee -haw!

Get off me!