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♪ Please wrap your drunken arms around me ♪

♪ And I'll let you call me yours tonight ♪

♪ 'Cause slightly broken's just what I need ♪

♪ And if you give me what I want ♪

♪ Then I'll give you what you like ♪

[ giggling, chattering ]

♪ Please tell me I'm your one and only ♪

♪ Or lie and say at least tonight ♪

♪ I've got a brand new cure for lonely ♪

♪ And if you give me what I want ♪

♪ Then I'll give you what you like ♪

♪ When you turn off the lights ♪

♪ I get stars in my eyes

♪ Is this love?

♪ Maybe someday

♪ So don't turn on the lights ♪

♪ I'll give you what you like ♪

Bestie for life, guys.

I don't want to think about it.

♪ Emotions aren't that hard to borrow ♪

[ school bell rings ]

Woman: Times are tough.

Many of your families are hurting.

In today's economy, the companies that succeed,

they provide a service that people really need,

even if they don't know they need it.

Ah, Ashley Gordon.

Why don't you tell us about your class project?

[ class laughs ]

Come on.

I created Family Buddies because, well,

I needed a project for this class,

also because I desperately needed the money for college.

We make it possible for parents to survive

and their kids to thrive, babysitting, tutoring, sports.

For exhausted overwhelmed busy parents, we provide relief.

I was getting more babysitting, tutoring,

family assistant jobs

that even a chronic overachiever like me could handle.

- Hey, kids. - Hi.

Did you guys drive Ashley crazy today?

- We tried. - You did?

At first, I recruited my friends,

matched them up with the right families.

Then we got referrals as far as 20 miles away

and we expanded.

So there are 11 of us working now,

including my three best friends,

Janet, our adolescent jock heartthrob.

What are you guys doing? Follow me.

They follow her anywhere.

Gilli, our videographer, for artsy kids, she's the best.

I love it, looks so good.

And, Rachel, our all-around star...

[ applause ]

There's no request she can't fulfill.

Hey, Rachel, want to give me a hand in here?

You've got 15 minutes. I'll be back.

We're always booked and already looking for new tutors.

So, if you're interested, see me after.

[ applause ]

See, she's responding to a real market need.

Now your next challenge is gonna be, how do you grow your business?

Is there any other services you can provide?

Think about it.

- Mm-hmm. - Harper, you're up next.

I know it's a tough act to follow, but you can do it.

Mr. Parks?

Oh.

I'm freaked about my essay for UC.

Do I write about our business and sound like a total nerd

or make up some mushy story about my time amongst the homeless?

Ash, you could write about your dog and still get in.

- I don't have a dog. - My point exactly.

[ chuckles ]

I plan to write about my triumphs.

Athletic or sexual?

Oh, well, they are both sports,

and I play them the same way guys do.

All out.

I'm a rookie at both.

Okay. When are you guys gonna get in the game?

When I meet somebody worth playing with.

Ugh.

Apparently UC accepts over half in-state applicants to some college.

So at least we'll get in somewhere.

UC Merced, here I come.

I'm lucky my parents can afford tuition.

But without Family Buddies,

I'd be wearing Salvation Army clothing by sophomore year.

- Ew. - Well, sell your jewels.

I'll go to community college before I do that.

Yeah, if my parents can't help,

I will be playing math games with seven-year-olds for the rest of my life.

Oh, don't look now. Here comes your tallest seven-year-old.

Hey, Ash.

Hey, how'd the chem test go?

I got bitch slapped, C-minus.

- Ooh. - Sucks.

Coach says I can't play football without a B average.

I don't know, Daniel.

As your chem coach, I can't make you run laps.

But maybe if you trained a little harder on your homework...

Ouch. I've been spanked.

All right.

We're in the fourth quarter, and our chem team is behind.

Well, I don't have your smarts.

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

I'm no smarter than you.

I just work much harder.

So when can we meet?

Oh, I need a boost in geometry too.

Is there any way we could get together tonight?

Um, tonight's a no-go. I'm babysitting.

But call me. We'll figure it out.

Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Ash.

You're a lifesaver.

Yep.

- I'd do him. - [ laughing ]

What the heck?

[ cell phone rings ]

Family Buddies. Hi, Lois.

Yep. You are confirmed for babysitting with

Mrs. Donofrio Friday night.

Thanks.

How's Family Buddies?

Crazy busy.

Good. Busy, busy.

I don--I don't know how to say this.

I am closing my store.

Oh, no. Mom, that's awful.

What are you gonna do?

Well, um, there's no easy way around this, honey.

We've looked at this from a hundred different angles.

We have to tap into your college fund.

[ sighs ]

I know. It's awful. I get it.

But we're gonna pay you back.

I promise.

So... that's it, just--

just say good-bye to Berkeley or UCLA?

No, we--we'll--we'll take out loans, right, if we have to.

And you just might need to consider going to community college.

[ voice echoing ] I know. I'm sorry.

We're sorry. We're sorry.

I know. It's awful.

I get it. We're gonna pay you back.

But we still own our house. I promise.

And use that--we have to watch every penny.

You get your prerequisites out of the way.

What-- What is the point of me busting my butt to get good grades?

I--I'm top of my class, and I'm gonna end up at community college?

I know. And we are very proud of you for your grades.

And I'm sorry that we're putting you through this.

But...

Ashley.

[ door slams ]

Woman: How many cups are in a pint?

- Two. - That's too easy

[ sighs ]

- 250. - Hey.

Oh, we're just working on Billy's fractions

and Cindy's metric conversions

and filling them with useless sugars.

Me want cookie now.

Don't do that.

What?

I got you a couple of things.

What?

Oh, my God.

Thanks.

Aw. [ chuckles ]

Thank you.

So how are the college applications coming?

I hate them.

They want to know how I will benefit from

and contribute to their vibrant community.

What do I say?

Oh, they can be intimidating, but maybe Mark can help.

He's a trial lawyer, and he can convince anyone of anything.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Your college essay, it's your story.

You just have to convince them it's a great one, huh?

That would be-- that would be amazing.

Okay, kids. We're outta here.

♪ Every little girl knows

♪ That the girl with the most clothes is... ♪

Damn, you look hot.

How do you afford this?

Just between us, from Roger.

Roger?

♪ Hold it in, ooh, I let it go ♪

♪ When I pull up to the club and... ♪

Roger, as in Mr. Parks?

Why waste it on high school boys?

It's just sex.

And he pays me big time.

Shut up. You're getting paid to have sex while you're tutoring?

When daddy wants me, I give the kids an assignment.

It's 150 for going down on him.

300 for sex.

So that's how you get all the bling.

Didn't Miss Palmer say something about expanding our services?

I'm just taking Family Buddies to the next level.

You want me to hook you up?

I know for a fact Jack Wiley'd be up for it.

Really?

He's not the only dad.

♪ Don't you tell me

I don't know. Screwing for bucks?

Suddenly, you're all moral?

You have sport sex with high school jerks for free.

Older guys are kinda hot.

One look at your tight young body,

and they'll empty out their wallets.

Use it before you lose it.

[ giggles ]

[ laughing ]

You shouldn't say stuff like that in front of me. No!

Ashley, what happened?

Oh, no, the kids are fine. Don't--don't worry.

Do you want to tell us what's going on?

[ sighs ]

My parents are using my college fund to pay our bills.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.

No, it's-- it's nobody's fault.

[ thunder ]

They're good people.

They just think that I should--

I should forget Berkeley or UCLA for now

and work and go to community college.

But I've been crunching loan apps,

and I'll be digging myself out of that hole till I'm 40.

Hey, don't give up so easy.

There's state scholarships, Pell grants, work study.

You're a lock for financial aid.

- You'll see. - Yeah.

[ sighs ]

Hey, sweetheart, um, it started raining, and-- and she walked here.

Sure. I'll drive you home.

It's gonna be okay.

I'm sorry.

I just--I've wanted this forever,

study business, do a cool startup.

And Berkeley's a great place to learn all that.

But now I--I just feel like it's never gonna happen.

It will. It will. You'll see.

My biggest nightmare is

that I'm gonna be stuck living my parents' lives.

Isn't that a horrible thing to say?

I sound so ungrateful.

Well, I'm sure they're doing the best they can.

Yeah.

And I know they want the best for me.

But you want more.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Hey, look at me.

There is nothing wrong with wanting more.

You're a beautiful, smart, talented girl.

There's a much bigger world waiting for you

than you could possibly imagine.

You'll be fine.

It's gonna be okay.

Thank you.

[ sighs ]

It means a lot that you believe that.

Now I just need to believe that.

Where'd you go to school?

Well, I went to Pressman.

You know, that's a thought.

I bet they'd love a-- a girl with your

entrepreneurial skills in their business program.

I can't even afford a state school.

Isn't Pressman, like, five times as much?

Let me help you figure that out.

Help how?

Well, books, room and board.

What--why?

Consider it an investment in your future.

You're gonna do amazing things.

That--that--that would be unbelievable.

Thank you.

Okay. Now get inside.

Start thinking about that essay.

[ thunder crashes ]

Oh.

You sure you're a football player?

Why don't you just do my homework for me?

Oh, that's not happening.

- Wrong girl. - You can do it.

What do you get when you mix sodium hydroxide,

which is a base, with an acid?

Salt water?

Touchdown, Daniel.

Yeah. Thank you.

[ cell phone rings ]

Hey, baby, what's up?

Oh, sorry, I can't. Ash is here.

No, we're just tackling damn chemistry.

Oh, it's all a blur to me, but she makes it easier.

Yeah, I gotta go. But don't worry.

It's just Ashley.

I, um, I gotta go.

Come on. She was jealous.

I didn't mean anything.

I'll get us a pizza.

Pepperoni?

Whatever you want.

Okay.

Fine.

But I gotta work on college apps.

What are you thinking?

Berkeley's my first choice, maybe Pressman.

Pressman? You're awesome.

Call for that pizza.

[ knock on door ]

Come in.

Hey.

Hey.

Time to work on those apps.

I didn't know if you were a water or a soda kind of girl.

Uh, soda, usually diet.

Here you go.

Where are Linda and the kids?

At her mother's.

Handmade milk chocolates.

- Oh. - Try it. You'll never have another candy bar.

Mmm.

What did I tell ya, huh?

You have to learn to trust me.

[ Ashley chuckles ]

Did you know the average annual salary 10 years

out of a Pressman business grad is over 400k?

That is crazy.

Yeah, even more important, 93% of Pressman students

say there's something fun and interesting on and near campus.

Huh.

You need a personal tour from someone who knows

where all those fun and interesting things are.

Oh, and where might I find such a knowledgeable guide?

[ chuckles ]

Well, we can fly up next weekend.

Oh, come on, Ash.

I can't show off my college to my kids for another eight years.

Let me show it off to you.

How would I--

You just say there's a class trip up north.

You know, we'll take the red eye on Friday,

stay Saturday, come back Sunday.

So, like, staying the night?

Yeah.

Well, in separate rooms, of course.

Great.

Yeah.

Yeah. Great.

Get to work on that essay, eh?

Put on some more coffee.

[ beeps ]

Jack Wiley, I'm with Family Buddies.

I'm not sure how this goes, Jack.

Shall we talk first?

Or should I just show you what you've paid for?

[ Jack gasps ]

♪ Summer blue, I kept waiting for you... ♪

Whoo!

Yay.

Billy, he adores you.

He really looks up to me.

Kind of like I look up to you.

Oh.

Hey, ladies, watch this.

[ children giggle ]

He is so confident.

He's just amazing.

Okay. He's not as confident as you think.

Now, all men are little boys

and they can be confusing.

But once you figure them out, they're very simple creatures.

Uh, there's--I just can't read the signals.

There's this guy, Daniel. We go to school together.

I tutor him.

We've always just been buds, but I can't tell if he likes me.

Ashley, you're 17.

It takes time to figure out the signals.

It took me years to learn to deal

with Mark's unending need for attention.

But we figured it out.

You guys just seem so great together.

We are.

But marriage is work even on a good day,

which is why we appreciate you so much.

I mean, me, Mark, and the kids,

we'd be lost without you.

[ boy yells ]

[ chattering ]

[ girls squeal ]

Number one, Ash. You beat Harper.

- Whoo! - Yeah!

- Oh, my God. - We're so proud of you.

You worked hard, and it paid off.

- Mm-hmm. - It's all downhill from here.

- No. - Shut up.

Okay. Don't sell yourself short.

You can do anything.

I can't wait to say I knew her when.

So how are we gonna celebrate this weekend?

[ school bell rings ]

Sorry. Can't this weekend.

Why?

I decided to apply to Pressman.

So I gotta finish my application.

Pressman, wow.

Seriously, hey, I thought Berkeley was out of reach.

I mean, Pressman is like a million times more expensive.

I know.

I don't know how I'll pay for it if I get in, but I gotta try.

♪ I'm a fraud, I pretend

♪ I ain't chasing glory

♪ Just a lonely wanderer

♪ Trying to tell a simple story ♪

♪ You can feel free to cry or laugh... ♪

All right, my man.

Nice.

Have a good one.

Home sweet home.

Okay. The great Philly cheesesteak debate.

We have two choices here, the safe choice

called the coward's choice, provolone on top.

We have the risk taker's choice with canned cheese.

Canned cheese?

What are you, risk taker or a--what?

Uh, whoa. Hey.

What'd I tell ya?

Delicious. Disgusting.

- Right? - But delicious.

- So good. - Mmm.

Have you heard of Prophets and Outlaws?

Oh, yeah. Southern country rock.

They had that song "Soul Shop."

Yeah. Yeah, bunch of great songs.

They're performing tonight near campus.

Yeah? You want to go?

Uh, they don't go on until 8:00.

Well, I'll just push our flights tomorrow till later.

Really?

Mm-hmm, sure. Yeah.

You just need to focus on your interview right now, okay?

- Okay. - Give me that.

- Mmm. - Hey!

Canned cheese is so much better.

So much better. Agh.

Amazing.

[ knock on door ]

Hey, how'd it go?

My interviewer had amazing internships

and already has, like, three job offers when he graduates.

That's awesome. Come in.

I think I did pretty well.

He loves Family Buddies.

I can do this.

I mean, I'm terrified.

And the kids here are way above me.

And if I don't get a scholarship, I don't have a prayer.

But I--I could see myself here, thanks to you.

Oh, hey.

I just--I would never have the guts to do this on my own.

You're happy?

Absolutely.

This is for you.

What?

It's for all your hard work.

Well, I haven't worked hard yet.

Oh, you will. Trust me.

Oh.

Mark, I--this is just...

Well, try it on.

Now?

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Wow.

[ Ashley giggles ]

You look stunning.

Yeah?

[ giggles ]

Phew.

Ready to rock and roll?

Sure.

The guy recites poetry while we're doing it.

I swear I had to put my hand over his mouth just to shut him up.

I--look, I told Jack it's 750 for tonight.

So close your eyes and dream of the bank roll.

Ugh.

Can you do that?

Okay. But any poetry, and I am out.

[ rock music plays ]

[ audience cheers ]

[ whistles ]

♪ Rain, rolling down my window ♪

♪ Put a wrench in everything I had today ♪

♪ And so I cancelled all my plans ♪

♪ I'm gonna find a new solution right away ♪

♪ When I'm down head under water ♪

♪ To ease my woes

♪ I sing out my sins with the ones I love the most ♪

♪ You can find me at the soul shop ♪

♪ Where my daddy taught me how to rock... ♪

Let's get out of here.

Hey, wake up, sleepyhead.

We gotta get back.

I can't believe we did this.

Linda is amazing to me. She's like a second mom.

[ sighs ]

Listen, Linda's great.

I love Linda, and I always will.

So what are we doing?

You want the Oprah answer?

The truth is we're more friends than lovers now.

The magic's kinda gone.

Hey.

Hey, stop worrying so much.

Hmm?

You know what I'm thinking about?

Hmm?

I can guess.

I'm thinking about your first day at Pressman.

You're meeting new friends, picking classes,

living away from home for the first time.

You know what you won't be thinking about?

What?

Room and board, tuition.

I am taking care of everything.

You're my girl. I got you covered.

Strong SAT scores.

You'll probably be valedictorian.

I think applying to Pressman is a fine idea, as long

as you don't forget your safety schools.

My family, um, can't help.

So I'll be working my way through college.

Pressman can help with that.

They have excellent financial aid packages.

You think I have a chance?

Just don't set your heart on one place.

I've seen too many broken hearts walk out these doors.

Um, what put that smile on your face?

Guidance counselor love.

Cheap thrills.

Okay. You guys are killing me.

Did you rip off Rihanna's closet?

I'm starving.

Let's grab Gilli and hit the café.

Yeah, right.

High school heartthrobs are a depreciating asset.

Since when, two weeks ago?

Since she studied the market and realized the value of her goods.

Is this National Slut Day and I didn't get the memo?

Obviously not.

Or else you wouldn't be hiding that gorgeous bod.

I think Rachel and Janet just had sex with Rob Pattinson.

Okay. Cafe. Let's go.

[ dance music plays ]

[ girls laugh ]

You guys are a billboard for something.

What is up?

You are too young and too pure.

Oh, you'd be surprised.

Liar. I may be a virgin, but I have a wild artistic soul.

So spill.

Really?

You guys are gonna go all secret agent on me now?

It's not like I don't tell you my deepest and darkest.

Oh, what the hell.

Let's corrupt their virgin ears.

After all, we are Family Buddies.

Let's just say I've introduced a hot new Family Buddies' product.

What's that?

Us.

I don't get it.

Oh, my God.

[ laughs ]

At first he'd just buy me stuff.

Then he asked if I'd rather have cash.

It's a win-win.

Are all the dads into this, even Mr. Lozlo?

[ gasps ]

- No! - Okay.

It's just a few that we know of.

But they have friends.

Friends.

I used to love coming here when we were little.

Remember?

Oh, I remember.

You would swing so high, you'd scare the hell out of me.

Don't you feel guilty about Roger's wife and kids?

Well, I don't--I don't feel great about it.

But it's his problem, not mine.

Yeah.

I don't know Jack's wife and kids.

Ew. I could not imagine sleeping with strangers for money.

Okay. It is not that different from banging high school boys,

except the sex is way better.

And, plus, we get paid.

I'll just quit after graduation and get to college

a much hotter lover for my true boyfriend.

And, remember, no college guys want to sleep with virgins.

I'd--if you want in, there are other dads.

No.

Ash, could put a dent in that Pressman tuition.

Mm-mm. Can't deal.

Sorry.

Oh, God, it's not like we're walking the streets.

We got enough food to wait out a nuclear attack.

If you feel like we're being watched, I can take them down.

They're still in here.

This really how you want to spend our time? Hmm?

We can dance again if you like,

make love until we pass out.

Oh, so the food is just for show?

No.

No, we could eat before,

after, during if you like.

That sounds gross.

So do a lot of things until you try them.

It's what you want, isn't it, experience?

Or is it just tuition?

I adore you. You know that.

Prove it.

[ television playing ]

Come on.

Go, go, touchdown.

That's right.

Hey.

You look great.

Chemistry.

Valance is a measure of how many chemical bonds can be formed by an element.

Daniel, what is valance?

Uh, it's the, uh, irresistible attraction

one element has for another.

Oh, actually,

it's typically the number of electrons needed

to fill the outermost shell of an atom.

I think it's when two electrons who have been friends

for ages suddenly get a different charge

and decide to pump up the electricity.

And how would they do that?

Ash, do you want to go to a party with me this weekend?

You know I've never really been to high school parties, right?

That's about to change.

[ chatter ]

[ music playing ]

What school do you go to, darling?

Yours, Jeff.

I have since fifth grade.

Whoa.

[ cheering ]

When I was on the cover of "Today's Cheerleader Magazine,"

he couldn't get enough of me.

He snuck through my window when my parents were downstairs.

We had to be so quiet while we did it.

Who are you? Do I know you?

I know, right?

I kinda surprised myself.

So you and Daniel, is it a thing?

We'll see.

[ giggles ]

I had a really good time tonight.

Me too.

It's all that chemistry.

Hmm.

[ exhales ]

Good night, Daniel.

Oh.

[ gasps ]

Those are gorgeous.

Who are they from?

A boy I met last night at the party.

You must have made quite an impression.

You like the orchids I sent?

They were okay.

[ chuckles ]

Where were you last night?

I tried your cell over and over.

I went to a party.

With a guy?

No.

Yes.

What difference does it make?

You have sex with him?

God, Mark, no.

What even gives you the right to ask that?

I just don't want you having sex with other people.

You are married. You don't get to say that.

Oh, if I'm paying for Pressman,

I'll say whatever I damn well please. Okay?

Wow. Wow. Oh, I don't want your help.

Just stop the car.

Ugh. Stop acting like a baby.

I'm 17, Mark.

Stop the car.

Just w--hold on. Wa--

[ sighs ]

[ rap music plays ]

♪ You can't get on the floor

♪ And g-g-go!

I woke up like this.

This is what everyone's wearing.

Go drive Daniel crazy.

And this, just looked like you, Gill.

I couldn't resist.

Ooh, I love it.

[ laughing, chattering ]

[ girls squeal ]

Wait, let me get--

Ready?

Not bad for a weekend's work.

Give me some.

Oh.

Thank you.

That's right.

How's this? Like it?

That's for your weekend.

Mm-hmm.

Oh my God.

Wait, you guys, check out this picture of Selena Gomez.

Just check out what she's wearing.

I would kill for an outfit like that.

Yes, you won't have to.

Jack will do it for you.

You are right.

[ squeals ]

Oh, wait, you guys.

I have to shoot my portfolio for my art school applications.

It's a lot of money.

You know I can help.

Okay. I'm in.

But--

[ girls squeal ]

Yes, Gilli.

But no loser dads.

[ cell phone rings ]

Wait, you guys--you guys.

Okay. Hello?

Yes, uh, 3:00 is fine. Thank you.

- What? - What? What?

My Pressman alumni interview.

[ girls squeal ]

Oh, my God. Go get ready.

Go get ready.

Go, go, go, go.

Go get ready.

I gotta get ready.

♪ Club, uh

♪ Wolf pack, yeah

♪ Uh, and this is rejects

♪ I'm losing sleep, oh, where to go? ♪

♪ Yeah, where do I belong?

♪ I may never know

♪ Yeah, feel like I'm far behind, so far behind, so ♪

- Cheers! - Whoo!

Yeah, cheers.

♪ I'm losing sleep, oh, where to go? ♪

♪ Where do I belong? I may never know ♪

♪ I feel like I'm far behind ♪

So it should be feminine but business-like.

[ sighs ]

Wow. You look so gorgeous.

You look grown up and sophisticated.

Where did you get this sweater?

Um, Linda gave it to me.

I know your dad and I haven't done right by you lately.

But, um...

but maybe St. Michael will do a better job.

Thank you.

Oh, you're gonna be great.

Your essays show depth, a maturity beyond your years.

You're an excellent candidate for financial aid.

But I have to ask, if you don't get a scholarship,

how will you pay for school?

I've never been afraid of hard work.

I will get a job, take out loans, do whatever it takes.

Well, I think Pressman's a good choice for you.

But just remember tuition is over $50,000 a year now.

But you're a clever girl.

You'll find a way.

[ cell phone beeps ]

Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.

Not like you really gave me a choice.

Tell my parents? You kidding me?

You--and you can't keep showing up at my house like that.

I had to get your attention somehow.

You look nice.

You smell nice too.

[ sighs ]

So how'd your alumni interview go?

Went well.

What, that's all I get? It went well?

Mark, I can't keep seeing you.

It's... just not right.

Ashley, let me help you.

I won't hurt you.

Yeah, you will.

I--I can't even tell you how royally pissed I am at you

right now, acting all holier than thou,

when you're hitting it with Mark.

Probably getting paid, too, huh?

At least I know what I am.

No, it wasn't like that. He was helping me.

Okay? He was gonna pay for college, but I ended it.

It stopped.

Mm. It didn't look stopped.

Well, he's not paying for college anymore.

So is that stopped enough for you?

Mm-hmm.

Maybe--maybe now you'll drop the romantic fantasies,

get real about paying for college yourself.

You're not worried that this is all just gonna blow up in our faces?

My life is exactly the way I want it to be.

Yours could be too.

Ashley.

Hi.

Oh, we haven't seen you in so long.

I know.

What's wrong, Ashley?

Is everything okay at home?

Have I done something to offend you?

Linda, I--I--I'm sorry.

My life is-- is just complicated.

Come back and tutor the kids.

We all want you in our lives. Hmm.

Ashley?

Yeah, I'll tutor them.

Um, but just after school.

I have to be home before 5:00.

Is this about Mark?

Because, you know, he's crazy about you.

We'll pick a day next week. I gotta go.

Okay.

We are moving up in the world.

Mm-hmm.

I've been seeing Walter Telfair, hedge fund super dude.

Ha ha.

I think I did an art project with his little girl once.

Walter has dads he wants us all to meet this weekend at his place.

Yeah.

An art dealer for you, Gilli, some super ex-athlete for you,

and a mega rich math geek for you, Ash.

And, get this, $1,000 each.

Wow.

No emo crap, no heart break.

In or out, Ash.

It's now or never.

This is just about money for college.

It's not prostitution.

In or out?

I'm in.

Yes!

[ girls squeal ]

Really dig in.

Much harder.

I don't want to hurt you.

You need a vision, something that screams you.

Look at Irvin Pressman. Do you know his work?

Yeah, I loved his still life from his fashion to his portraits.

Maybe I could help you find your vision.

It's all right.

It's okay.

♪ I am

♪ Drowning

Come here.

[ chuckles ]

I want your friend.

Now.

Ash.

Walter wants you now.

You'll be fine. Just go.

♪ I am

♪ Drowning

Mm.

No.

♪ Hold me

♪ Down

- I'm outta here. - Gilli, wait.

- Not cool. - I don't care.

But I need you to promise me

you won't say a word about this to anyone.

Huh. Don't worry.

I'm too ashamed to tell anybody.

[ chuckles ]

Oh, this is lovely.

I could tell you the providence of every item in this room.

Okay.

That would be a terrible waste of our time.

Would you like me to...

[ school bell rings ]

[ girls humming ]

[ girls squeal ]

Congratulations!

Let me see it.

In this highly competitive admission season,

we are pleased to offer you a place in our freshmen class.

Seriously?

The life you always wanted. I told you.

They offered me a partial work-study scholarship

and financial aid program, but it's not enough.

Stick with me, girlfriend.

Like I have a choice.

Let me see it.

It's so exciting.

Oh. Oh, you scared me.

Um, we're gonna go this way.

I'm so stoked for you.

Check this out.

This new college look is really hot.

Yeah.

Hey, babe, can I talk for a sec?

What?

Have I told you lately how great you are with the kids?

Mm-hmm.

I just think it'd be great if you'd spend more time with them.

You know, take them to swimming.

Help them with their homework,

especially now that work's let up a little.

I'll help too, of course.

What about Ashley though?

I mean, the kids and I, we really love her.

Yeah, I just don't think we need Ashley anymore.

Is this about money? I'm confused.

No. Ashley's leaving to school next year.

Might as well make the break now.

[ sighs ]

Hey, we're a team.

We don't need anybody's help to raise our kids, huh?

Mm.

[ laughter ]

So if the velocity vector of the airplane is V

and the wind is W, then the velocity of the airplane

relative to the ground is what?

Can you feel the velocity of my beating heart?

So lame.

You like that.

If I get it right, will you kiss me?

If you don't, I won't.

U equals V plus W.

Yay.

Mmm.

What, do I still taste like beef jerky?

No. You taste great.

Uh, what's this? Uh-oh. I'm falling for a player.

I can't trust him?

No, I know you like me.

Well, look at you, all self-confident.

I do like you, and you can trust me.

And I like you.

I really--no, I really do.

I'm feeling a but. Where's the but?

I--I just--we're both going to different schools.

It seems crazy to start something now.

If you're not into me, just have the balls to say it.

I'm just--I'm just not that much fun right now.

My parents are broke.

I--I'm working my ass off trying to figure out how to pay for college.

I understand.

But I'm not gonna give up.

I really don't want you to.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Rachel is busy that afternoon, but I'm sending Louise.

You'll love her.

Okay. Thanks.

[ sobs ]

How could you be so stupid?

I just forgot my pills. Okay?

Shoot me.

- Is Jack the dad? - Back off.

If she knew, at least he could pay for the abortion.

Whoa. Who says anything about an abortion?

[ scoffs ] Are--are you retarded?

She can't have a baby.

Why not? What, 'cause it's inconvenient?

Tons of couples would adopt this baby.

Okay. W--will you clue in Miss Naive?

Listen to me. This is your decision.

Whatever you want to do, I support you.

And what am I gonna tell my parents?

They're gonna kill me.

Well, if you get rid of it, you won't have to tell them.

Okay, Rachel. None of us wanted this to happen, but it did.

All right?

It may screw up your plans, but you can make new plans.

This is a baby we're talking about.

Dr. Davis, telephone, please.

Dr. Davis, telephone, please.

This is not how it's supposed to be.

I'm supposed to be in love or married.

I'm not ready to be a mom, not like this.

I'm such a freakin' idiot.

This is not a choice. This is a nightmare.

Stop beating yourself up.

You made a mistake, but there are people here you can talk to.

I know all the choices. They all suck.

And where the hell is Rachel?

I can't believe she's bailing on me.

I totally can.

Woman: Janet Moss.

Want me to come in with you?

I love you, but I have to do this alone.

[ sighs ]

How's Janet?

Huh. Like you give a damn.

Doctors' offices freak me out. Okay?

I--I'll call her.

That'd be nice.

Ash.

Walter asked if you're free this weekend.

Apparently he thinks you're a hottie.

[ chuckles ]

God, can't you just give it a rest for a day?

Okay. I'm the only one looking out for us.

Without me, neither of you could pay for college.

[ scoffs ] Are you kidding?

This is the only thing that you can think about.

I'm outta here.

Gilli.

Gilli, wait.

Gil--okay.

[ school bell rings ]

I got waitlisted because of you.

I'm sorry?

You can't pay for it.

Everybody knows your family is out-of-work losers.

Oh, that's weak, Harper.

That the best you got?

You'll never fit in. You're not a Pressman girl.

What's a Pressman girl, some stuck up rich bitch

who couldn't get in without Daddy's money?

Oh, that's right.

You didn't get in.

You pathetic loser.

A pathetic loser who's going to Pre--

[ gasps ]

Oh, come on, ass hat. Come on.

Let's go. Come on. let's go!

You can't change who you are.

And so you'll always be a miserable bitch.

Better make me look fabulous.

[ knock on door ]

Ashley, meet Tiffany, an old friend.

Walter, what's going on?

Let's take some real pictures.

[ breathes heavily ]

I'll talk to him. It won't happen again.

Ugh. I feel dirty.

I don't want to end up like her.

I want out.

You--you want out?

You--you want out of-- of what?

Pressman? Berkeley?

'Cause this is your ticket out of your parents' broke-ass life.

Hey, I will find another way to pay for school.

If I can't figure it out, I'll go to community college.

But I can't do this.

Ash.

I thought, hey, I'll get my degree.

I can forget about it, just act like it didn't happen.

But, look, I can't-- I can't. I can't.

Okay.

It's--it's your life.

But promise me you'll keep quiet.

Here they are, my two star students.

[ chattering ]

Hey, Joe, you're gonna have to build another shelf to put this award on.

[ chuckles ] No kidding.

But you did it.

You worked your butt off. You made sacrifices.

Good job.

- Oh. - So proud of you.

Thank you, Daddy.

Look at this--

Ashley?

Hey, it's so great to see you again.

What are you doing here?

Uncle Walter, Aunt Sharon's been wondering where you were.

Walter: Thanks, hon.

Mm-hmm.

God, it's hard to tell who looks more terrified

back there, you or Uncle Walter.

He's always had the hots for young girls, the old horn dog.

It was so great to see you again.

Usually he buys them fabulous gifts.

So what did you get?

[ scoffs ]

You have an overactive imagination.

We met at a meeting of entrepreneurs.

We talked for five minutes. That's it.

Do you know what would be really amazing?

If he gave you cash.

You are so out of line.

[ chuckles ]

I bet at the admissions office at Pressman

would just get a huge kick out of this.

Goody-goody Ashley's a hooker.

You're disgusting.

You can't just make up crap and spread it around.

Save it. How about this?

Withdraw from Pressman, I'll keep my mouth shut.

Don't, and I will tell the school, the media,

basically the whole world.

Think about it.

Hey, here you go.

Hey, love the dress, so cute. Here you go.

[ siren wailing ]

[ police radio chatter ]

[ phone ringing ]

Mark?

Hey, hon, I, uh, I have to stay late.

I'm working the Rumson case.

I think you need to come home.

[ panting ]

[ shower running ]

[ cell phone beeps ]

[ cell phone beeps ]

Hey.

I assume you read the article.

Yeah, yeah.

Nasty rumor. Sad if it was true.

Does this, um, have anything to do with you and Ashley?

What? No.

Honey, come--

Then why did she say she had to leave by 5:00, before you got home?

Mark.

Did you have sex with Ashley?

Don't lie to me.

- Linda... - Don't.

Don't touch me.

Linda, I thought I was losing you.

Okay? I felt like old news.

Ashley, she thought the world of me.

What? Are--are you trying to blame this on me?

No.

It's on the years, on the routine.

Honey, it's--

I just wanted to feel powerful and exciting,

like the way Ashley saw me.

Oh, what am I supposed to do with that, huh?

Go ahead, honey.

You know, feed your vanity with a child.

Mark, she's a child.

Linda, I made a mistake, but I love you. Okay?

What if someone did that to our daughter?

Get out.

Get out of this house and don't come near our children.

[ sobs ]

Trashy hoes.

Want to have some fun later?

- [ laughing ] - Sluts!

How about them old guys?

Hey, baby, I got five bucks.

How about Joey's dad?

Skeevie hoes need to stay away from our guys.

Is it true, what Harper's been saying?

- Leave her alone. - You shut up.

I'm sorry. I was desperate.

Is that why you won't sleep with me?

'Cause I didn't pay you?

No, no. I really like you.

I just--I was afraid I'd embarrass you if this came out.

I'm s--I'm supposed to be grateful that you wouldn't sleep with me.

Daniel--Daniel, please.

Know what? Maybe you should have paid me.

[ sobs ]

Girls from your high school are turning tricks to pay for college?

You're not a part of this, are you?

Why?

My college fund was gone.

We needed money.

I didn't know what to do.

That's no excuse.

Ashley, you were not raised this way.

Mark made it seem so simple.

He'd pay for college if I...

Wh--if you what?

Made him happy.

I ought to kill him.

- He's got a daughter. - I ended it.

I made a mistake.

Was he the only one?

Mark?

There was one other.

Okay. Okay.

I had so much respect for you.

I had hopes, high hopes,

that you were just gonna go and--why?

I'm so sorry, Daddy.

[ sobs ]

It's gonna get bad.

It's alleged that top students

at this beloved high school are turning tricks to finance college.

I just got called in. Does he know?

Everybody knows.

Harper threatened to ruin me.

She's making good on that threat.

I am so pissed at you for getting us dragged into your Pressman competition.

Pissed at me? Are you kidding?

What, are you guys gonna hang this on me now?

No, but if you're wondering if I'm gonna tell the truth, I am.

- Are the rumors true? - Who was involved?

Damn it.

Well, the media's buzzing around,

phone's ringing off the hook,

parents demanding that I suspend or expel you,

which I'm not going to do based on rumors and innuendo of other students.

But if I get sufficient evidence...

I find it hard to believe that the three of you could have done this.

And I can't stand up for you if I don't know what's going on.

Help me help you.

I needed--

It was my idea.

We all needed money for college

but I got carried away.

I turned Ashley's tutoring business

into a hooking ring.

Mr. Brown?

Mr. Brown, please, did they tell Pressman?

You've broken the law.

Pressman is the least of your worries.

I'm sure you're aware how serious this is.

The DA wants a formal investigation

before making a decision on what charges to file.

Each of you will have a turn to tell us what happened.

Just tell us the truth, from the beginning.

So if I got this straight, this was all Rachel's idea?

Yeah.

But I was already doing it with Mark Riley.

Mark and Linda hired me to tutor their kids.

He was...

Nice.

He offered to help me with my essays.

He knew I was freaked about college,

that there was no way I could pay for it.

He offered to help pay for tuition if--

I wanted to go to Pressman so badly, so badly.

He said that we would make each other happy.

Ashley, are you saying that Mark Riley pushed you to have sex?

Detective...

I don't know if I'll ever sleep at night

knowing how much I screwed up my life

and hurt Linda and her kids.

Was Mark the only one who paid you for sex?

[ police radio chatter ]

- Daddy! - Daddy!

Come here. Come here. Come here.

Now, stop--stop.

No!

No.

No!

I've asked your parents to join us

because you have admitted to being the organizer

of this ring, which makes you subject to arrest.

Do you still stand by your previous statement?

She needs to consult her attorney.

Okay.

If that's how you want to go, we can drag this out,

arrest your daughter, put your family through the circus of a trial.

But if Rachel sticks to her statement,

we can keep her name out of the media,

make sure the DA knows she cooperated,

and she'll get a good deal.

- Listen-- - Dad, please.

- No, you can't. - Dad, stop.

Just stop.

You know, everyone was worried about getting busted.

Weirdly, I--I wasn't.

I never th--I never believed it could happen, not one time.

I'm not stupid.

I have my whole life in front of me.

If I thought we'd ever get caught, I ne--

I never would have done it.

But, Dad, I did.

And even worse, I dragged my friends into it.

[ door lock buzzes ]

Detective, please place Miss Foster under arrest.

No. Dad.

Don't worry, sweetie. We'll get you the best attorney.

[ door lock buzzes ]

[ sniffles ]

I'm so sorry.

Well, we'll come see you soon.

Rachel, we gotta go.

Okay. What's the deal?

These girls are children, Mr. Riley.

And you preyed upon a young woman

in desperate financial straits.

You exploited her, which in my book enhances the charges.

- Ashley is not a-- - Save it.

Here are the terms.

You and the other men will register as sex offenders,

take a course in sex addiction.

You will also take a parenting class,

if you wish to stay in your homes with your children.

Oh, wait. Hold on. Register as sex offenders?

I'll be disbarred.

For what, consensual sex?

If you break one of these conditions,

I'll try you for the rape of a minor.

And you will be put away for ten years.

Is that clear?

I--

I know what I did to you and the kids.

I don't expect to be forgiven for it.

I don't think you meant to hurt us.

But you did.

You were amazing to me,

encouraging me, supporting me.

And I have to live with what I did for the rest of my life.

You know the worst part?

I hate what he took from you.

And what that did to me and the kids.

We're getting a divorce.

There's a part of me that will always love him.

I can't believe we're not a family anymore.

We're required to report any change in your academic status.

Pressman has an honor code, and you violated it.

They've rescinded your acceptance.

[ pants ]

I worked my whole life for this.

I saw my future.

Now I see nothing,

just a big black hole of nothing.

Hopefully, you've learned your lesson.

Now if you'll excuse me.

Uh, did Harper get in off the waitlist?

She did.

I--this is ridiculous, right?

Rachel goes to jail, but these guys, these rich guys,

these child rapists, they go free?

How is that justice?

They could have made us go through an expensive and humiliating trial.

I could have gone to jail instead of a year of community service.

Four years' probation.

Well, that's not a problem, Mom.

I don't plan on getting into any more trouble, ever.

It's over.

I know what I did, and I know what it cost me.

I just hope you guys can forgive me.

I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself.

Hey, we love you.

Okay?

And nothing is ever gonna change that.

Thank you.

[ door lock buzzes ]

And since we're all banned from the ceremony,

we decided to bring graduation to you.

Guess who the grad speaker is.

- Bieber? - Harper.

Ugh.

Okay, this is her prime time right now.

It's all downhill for her after this.

Give me that.

There it is.

Aw.

It should be you up on that stage getting all the glory.

I'm sorry.

You did not make me do any of this.

I did it to myself, but it's done.

You're gonna be outta here soon,

and we can get the show on the road.

Absolutely.

[ chuckles ]

Cheers, to a brighter future.

- Yes. - Cheers.

Small vanilla soy latte, no whip.

Thank you.

HI. Can I--

How are you?

You know, community college.

Woo-hoo.

And a UC?

That's the plan, if I can sell enough lattes.

God, you look great.

- Oh. - How's art school?

Totally intimidating.

I'm like the least talented person there.

Oh, come on.

You always undersold yourself.

Except when it counted.

You were the only one

who had enough self-respect to say no to Rachel.

Do you still talk to her?

Only when she wants a latte.

Janet and I make, you know, fake plans, but you and I could.

Oh, I go back tomorrow, but next time.

Absolutely.

- Coffee? - Yes.

Black?

Yes, you know.

I do.

Oh, hang on.

Please, it's on me.

Really great to see you, Gilli.

You too, Ash.

♪ Emotions aren't that hard to borrow ♪

♪ When love's the word you never learned ♪

♪ And in a room of empty bottles ♪

♪ If you don't give me what I want ♪

♪ Then you'll get what you deserve ♪

♪ When you turn off the lights ♪

♪ I get stars in my eyes

♪ Is this love?

♪ Maybe someday

♪ I've got the scene in my head ♪

♪ I'm not sure how it ends ♪

♪ Is it love?

♪ Maybe one day