Original subtitles

[soft rustling]

Check, check.

[snapping]

Rolling.

[crickets chirping]

[snow crunching underfoot]

[distant owl hooting]

[reading sign]

Yep. Made that very clear on your nine emails.

[sighs] Yeah.

[click]

Hello?

[door closes]

It's Mike.

[Mike mutters]

I got the script.

Hello?

MAN: [stage whispering] Hey!

Are you rolling?

MIKE: I am.

MAN: Are you gonna yell "action"?

MIKE: Oh. Uh...

[clears throat] Action!

[dramatically] On that fateful evening,

I was not yet a killer.

My thirst for blood was as of a small child,

or... a baby wolf.

I was merely perched on the precipice

of the encroaching darkness.

- MIKE: Uh... - [pages rustling]

"So, are you saying you chose to become a vampire?"

[laughing]

Oh, my child, were it so simple.

But what is choice and what is destiny, I cannot say.

I only know this:

as I watched the glorious day

fade into a delicious, blood-red sunset,

I willingly said goodbye to the sun.

I chose to become that which I am now.

- [hissing] - [Mike exclaims]

MAN: Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God. Did you feel that?

That was incredible! Oh, my God!

That's why you always roll on the first take!

That's why we always roll on the first take!

You-- you-- you were incredible.

Get over here. I love you, man. Come on.

- [both grunt] - What's your name again?

- MIKE: Uh, Mike. - Mike.

I like Mike. Mm-hmm. Magic Mike.

It's gonna be a great night, Mike.

Gonna be a great night!

[Mike exhales] Holy shit.

[eerie theme music]

MIKE: Hey, I'm, uh, all set up out here.

MAN: Sorry, I can't hear you. Come on in.

- MIKE: Oh, sorry. - It's okay.

I was just saying I'm all set up out there whenever you're ready.

Mm-hmm.

- MIKE: Cool. - MAN: Hey, Mike?

[spits]

Uh, I just wanna say...

I know this whole setup is a little awkward.

You know? Some guy, I pay you $1,000

to come all the way out here and film me,

and I acknowledge that, and...

I appreciate your trust.

So, I wanna be 100% honest with you about something.

MIKE: Okay.

I'm feeling very vulnerable tonight.

And sometimes, when I feel that way, I can get a little...

in the moment.

It's just, this is very important.

This is my dream.

And now, you are a partner in that dream.

And now, I'm getting emotional and I'm--

I'm-- I'm just trying to say thank you.

Thank you, Mike.

MIKE: You're welcome.

[clap]

Truth. Dedication. Integrity.

These are the principles with which I have lived my life,

and these are the very principles I plan

to bring with me should you choose to accept me

into your intent-- Ah! Blah.

MIKE: It's uh...

it's gonna be a cut.

Sorry, one sec.

Get this right.

Yeah, I know the lighting's important,

but the performance is what matters here,

so I think we just--

let's just-- I'm ready, so.

MIKE: Okay.

Okay, great. Ready when you are.

- Truth-- - MIKE: Oh, sorry. One sec.

[shouting] Mike!

Can we have a little talk about process, please?

Truth. Dedication. Integrity.

These are the principles with which I have lived my life,

and these are the very principles

I plan to bring with me should you choose to accept me

into your nine-month intensive Acting For Camera program.

My name is Jeff Daniels.

I am not that Jeff Daniels, but I hope with your guidance

to one day achieve his level of artistry.

I mean, come on. Speed in 1993, he plays Harry.

The very next year, he plays another character named Harry

in Dumb and Dumber.

I have that talent.

I have that dedication. I just need your skills.

Together? [chuckles]

Well... we can make history.

All right, thoughts? Just-- just hit me with it.

MIKE: Great. I-- I thought it was great. It was good.

That's it? Just good?

MIKE: No, I just-- You know, we've done a lot of takes,

and I think somewhere in those last 18,

you've-- you've got it.

Huh.

Okay.

So, I don't believe you.

I don't believe that we have it.

I don't think you believe that we have it.

I think that you are just saying that we have it

so that you can get your $1,000

and leave here as soon as possible.

And you know what else I think?

I can't-- I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but...

I think you don't care whether I get into acting school or not.

Oh, my God, I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna be sick.

MIKE: No, no, I think you're a genuinely good actor.

I don't believe you, Michael.

I don't believe anything you say.

MIKE: Well, what do you want from me?

The truth!

That's all.

MIKE: The truth is I've done a lot of acting reels.

And?

MIKE: And you're...

- up there-- - [shouting] No! No, no!

[door slams]

MIKE: Mr. Daniels?

Hey, Jeff?

So, I think we're, uh, wrapped here. Um...

I'd like to talk about the payment we agreed on.

Um, if you got the cash, that's great,

but I also have Venmo and Zelle if that works better.

But I am gonna need the payment before I leave.

[Mike sighs]

God damn it.

Shit.

- [Mike screaming] - [Jeff shouting]

[screaming]

JEFF: Here it is, Mikey! The truth!

That's what we've been looking for here tonight.

Look at that beautiful face.

Please give me my camera.

JEFF: Listen, I understand that you're upset,

but I just wanna say, I'm so proud of you.

You found the truth in that bathroom, Mikey.

And while I realize it-- it was uncomfortable for you,

this is where great art begins.

Okay, ple-- please stop talking.

I just want my money, man.

JEFF: What? Really?

You just--

you're just gonna leave all this behind?

I feel like we just had a breakthrough,

- I don't-- - [stomp]

[Mike sighs]

JEFF: Oh, Michael.

Did you just put your foot down with me?

Interesting.

This is getting exciting.

What's he gonna do next?

- Thank you. - JEFF: You're welcome.

Oh, my. Look at that.

It is really coming down out there now.

It's a good thing you got, uh, four-wheel drive

in your car there, Mike, huh?

Well...

[inhales sharply] ...oof.

Even if you get out of the driveway,

coming down that hill is gonna be treacherous.

But, that's what snow chains are for, so.

Oh. No snow chains?

God. They're never really there when you need 'em, are they?

Look, I'm--

JEFF: I've got another $1,000 for you.

I've got a new scene that just hit me.

I need to show that same fear and vulnerability

you just showed in the bathroom.

I had it all wrong and I apologize.

I wasted your time. But this is the thing:

I shouldn't be playing the villain.

I need to play the victim.

Doot!

[Jeff vocalizing]

Ahh!

[cackling] Yeah! Yeah!

MIKE: Okay, lighting set.

All right, you got a full battery?

Uh, do you wanna tell me about the scene that we're doing here?

Yeah, I'm James Caan, you're Kathy Bates. Duh.

Tie me up.

- MIKE: What? - I need you to tie me up

nice and tight so I can't get loose,

so when you come charging through that door

with this bat, we're gonna see true terror on my face.

The same kind we saw on your face in that bathroom.

The kind that undeniably gains admittance

to the most prestigious nine-month

Acting For Camera program in this country.

MIKE: Man, I don't-- I don't know--

- [shouting] Mike! - [Mike exclaims]

You see? Terror! That's what I'm talking about, right there.

We just need that look on my face, okay?

So come on, tie me up.

- [shouting] Move it! - [Mike exclaims]

- MIKE: God. - Okay.

All right, how familiar are you with the movie Misery?

I mean, yeah, I've seen the movie.

Okay, good. So you know how she's always coming in

and kind of threatening him and terrorizing him, right?

I need you to come through that door,

I need you to come at me hard.

- What are the lines that I'm-- - We're gonna be improvising.

We don't need lines, man. This is make-believe.

I need you to make me believe that you're gonna kill me.

[exhales] Here we go.

And... action!

Whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

- MIKE: What? - You're-- you gotta be

running and screaming and yelling and, like--

MIKE: I didn't wanna yell over your lines.

I thought you were saying something.

Okay, you don't have to be that considerate.

Okay? Menacing.

[exhales]

- You ready, Mike? - MIKE: Yes.

- I said are you ready, Mike? - MIKE: Yes!

Here we go. Three, two, one, kill!

I'm gonna cobble you!

Mike, it's-- it's "hobble." It's not "cobble."

Can you just be a murderer? It's not that hard.

MIKE: "Hobble."

[Mike shouting]

- Oh, wait, here's an idea. - MIKE: Dude.

Next time you come in, you veer right towards my legs

and just start bashing my legs with the bat.

Just slam 'em, and I'll turn.

I can kind of fake towards camera.

I'll have the big agony and the tears and all that.

It'd be, I think, pretty cool.

Okay, but I'm not gonna actually hit your legs--

Mike, will you please just help me?

Jesus.

Oh, my God, my legs! I'm never gonna walk again!

No, Annie! No! No!

Oh, my God, this is so embarrassing.

I'm ashamed of myself, Mike.

Oh, my God. I think we're gonna have to start from scratch.

How do you erase the camera? Can we just--

Is there an "erase all" button?

- Penny for your thoughts? - [Mike gasps]

[scoffs] Will you please stop doing that, man?

[Mike sighs]

JEFF: Probably thinking about

how you wanna get out of here, huh?

Yeah, I get it.

It does kind of seem like we hit

a bit of a creative wall in there, but,

you know, they do say that...

That's right when the magic happens, you know what I mean?

- It's, like, uh, two seconds... - I'm--

- ...before the miracle. - I'm begging you, man.

Just, please, like, leave me alone for a little bit until

- the snow stops and I can-- - Just hear me out, okay?

No more-- no more audition scenes.

No more acting school. That was all ego bullshit anyway, okay?

What if you and I make

a film together, tonight?

I saw your short film, Mike.

- You did? - I liked it.

- Really? - I didn't love it.

It didn't set the world on fire.

I mean, it felt like you were kind of just...

scratching the surface of those characters' pain, you know?

You were scared.

But we could make a movie with real pain in it.

Something deeply personal.

A story only you and I could tell.

What do you think about that, Mikey?

Yeah, no, I think I'm just gonna wait for the snow plow to come,

- and I'm gonna-- - I'll give you $2,000,

and we can shoot it in under an hour.

Yep. Yeah.

So, what's this story?

Don't know yet, Michael. But I'm excited.

You know, I once saw this obscure film

from a completely unknown but deeply talented filmmaker,

and his process, it was really fascinating.

He would use a combination of documentary and fiction,

and he would set up scenarios in which

the people would-- would play things that were simple

and close to home for them.

For instance, if he was here tonight, I think he would say,

"Why don't you just play a guy who's hired someone

"to come up and film his audition video?

"You know, he's a little awkward, a little strange."

And you could play a struggling filmmaker,

right, who's a little annoyed,

wants to get out of there as soon as he can with his cash.

It's great, right?

MIKE: Sure.

Set.

JEFF: [whispering] Are you rolling?

- MIKE: Yes. - JEFF: Okay,

I'll lead you into it. You just follow me.

MIKE: Okay.

JEFF: Action!

Hey, are you Mike?

MIKE: I am. Hi.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, this is gonna be a good night.

You know, you have a really nice, kind face.

MIKE: Thanks.

Can I get a hug, Mike?

MIKE: Uh, sure.

[Jeff chuckles] All right.

Gotta ask first these days.

You don't want HR coming after you,

you know what I mean? [chuckles]

[Mike chuckles awkwardly]

So, you haven't asked me about the axe yet, Mike.

MIKE: Sorry?

You know, the axe in the stump right there.

I just-- I assumed you'd be curious

as to how that might play into the scene.

MIKE: Yeah, it had crossed my mind.

Yeah, I'll bet it did!

But look, I don't want you to worry. Okay.

It's just rubber, you know? It's fake.

Here, you wanna test it?

Good. I just want you to be comfortable,

because in a few moments, I am going to be swinging

this axe full force towards the base of your skull.

Cool?

- Cool. - All right, cool.

So, I say we ditch the victim idea.

That wasn't working, right?

And we go back to me playing the villain.

But not like a 19th century vampire.

That was kind of dumb. What if I just play, like,

a regular, every day, average guy villain?

The last guy in the world you'd think

would be a serial killer, right?

And then, when you watch the whole nuanced performance

all the way to the climax, you realize,

this guy's been dropping hints the whole way.

Carefully placed Easter eggs.

And you think, "This guy might be capable of murder!"

Like, take the axe, for instance. Right?

So emotionally, on my face, playing anxiety, worry. Right?

But when you go back and you watch the footage,

the physicality of him with the axe?

Calm. Cool. Collected.

MIKE: Wait, sorry. Are you describing the scene,

or are you actually doing the scene?

Exactly. The naturalism is what it's all about, right?

The acting is so good,

you don't even know what's acting and what's not.

It's like-- it's like a magic trick. Like sleight of hand.

Speaking of which...

when you think about it,

did you get enough time to test that axe properly?

Are you sure it's fake?

He only offered you the handle.

You didn't even get a chance to test the blade.

And then, it starts to dawn on you.

While it is an absolutely insane idea

that this man is not an actor auditioning for acting school,

that this entire evening has been an elaborate ruse,

that you are not in the company of a hack Jeff Daniels,

you're with one of the greatest actors of all time.

Oh, that's ridiculous. That can't be true, right?

So, you don't need to run away.

But you do start to slowly walk away, because...

how can you be sure?

And then it hits you!

Wait, the axe! Right!

He slid the blade across his hand.

So, if there's blood on his hand,

that axe is real.

If there's blood on his hands,

this could be really, really bad.

It's the moment of truth, Mike.

[Mike laughing]

- [both laughing] - MIKE: Oh, my God!

That scared the shit out of me!

That was convincing, man.

Like, I admit it, like, you didn't have it in

- the takes before, but, like... - I know. I know.

MIKE: ...that was really good!

You have an audition, man. And we have a short film.

I mean, this could get into Sundance.

Yeah! High five!

[both chuckle]

- MIKE: No. - Yes.

[Mike exclaims]

JEFF: Run, Mike, run! Yes!

[Mike yelps]

[both panting]

[Mike breathing heavily]

[Jeff snarls]

MIKE: Cut! Cut!

- No, keep rolling! - MIKE: I am rolling!

- [Jeff shouting] - Cut!

[both grunting]

JEFF: Where you going?

Hey-- [grunts]

[Jeff panting]

Hey... where'd you go?

[panting]

What?

That was really good.

I'm impressed.

Oh!

[snickers]

I see a footprint.

Guess you're hiding over here somewhere.

Well, unless you pulled a Shining,

you retraced your footsteps, maybe--

Oh! Wait. I-- [laughs]

Nope. Come out, Mike. I saw you.

Hi. Hi!

Oh, boy. Oh, that's not very good.

That's not good at all.

Don't really see a way out of it for this one.

Might be the end of the movie, my friend.

Unless you got any i-- Wait, is he getting an idea? What?

What is this? Oh-- Oh! Right, the car.

Yeah, race to the car. That's kind of an interesting idea.

My thing is, I guess I'm a little closer to the car

than you are, so I don't know if it-- Oh!

Oh, there he goes! There he goes!

Oh, no. Oh, no! [laughing] No, it's locked!

Oh, you got it, Mike.

- You got it. Fuck! - [axe thuds]

[Mike grunts]

- [axe thuds] - [Mike groans]

[Jeff grunts]

[axe thuds]

[Jeff exhales]

[Jeff sighs]

[exhales]

[sighs]

[eerie theme music]