Original subtitles

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

There you go, David.

Hey.

Hey. I hope this isn't a fake.

What, were you?

Yeah.

Just come from the bank. Three forged fibers in this week's takings. Three.

Hey, Mr. Scripps, I wore those in the garage last week.

I'll give Joe a ring, shall I?

Yeah.

Is he in?

Who?

Sergeant Miller.

Tell him Jeannie with the light brown hair is here. That'll make him blush.

I've been to see my sister in Edinburgh.

We do it twice a year.

Oh, I would kill for a cup of tea, Geoffrey.

Oh, now that's what I call service.

You must be Alf.

Look, excuse me, Mrs... Miller.

Jean Miller.

Right, well, you see, Mrs Miller, the... Mrs Miller.

I see.

Oh. A cup of tea.

Jean? Oh, I know. I'm treading on holy ground, George, I'm sorry. Only the

broke down just outside Ashfordly.

They said we might have to wait hours, so I thought I'd come over here, let you

drive me home after work.

I've been in Edinburgh, you see.

Oh, with a sister.

They do it twice a year.

Sugar? No need, younger.

There's a very nice cafe in Marsham Street, Jean. They do a very good Eccles

cake. Have a look round the shops, why don't you?

Get back here at about six -ish.

You trying to get rid of me?

Don't worry.

I'm not expecting you to mix business and pleasure. We all know what you're

like.

See you later, then.

Traffic reports.

My desk. Five minutes.

There's no shame in being filled by one of these.

Have you had any strangers in the past few days?

No. Not that I can think of.

Then maybe someone local's passing them.

I'll have to keep a hold of it.

Dig around a bit.

Well, dig as much as you like. I think forgers should be strung up.

She's looking older.

Everybody's looking older these days.

Yeah, that's a really snazzy trouser suit. Look at that.

What's this, Sam?

Judy Garland's got married again in London to husband number five.

Bernie's a big fan.

She says she likes living in England and...

Planned to rent somewhere in the country, but... What if it was Dawn?

Oh,

no, I'm staffed.

Oh, silly, it might happen. I mean, look, she says here that she likes

Yorkshire.

Imagine filling Judy Garland's tank with Four Star.

You've done well, Mason.

These notes are part of a batch from Bristol, all with the same serial

They're from a gang run by one Jim Bly.

It was cracked wide open, but... Bly himself was never found.

Nor was his girlfriend, Ruthie Abbott.

No -one's going to miss her in a crowd.

Bly had various comms, all of which were designed to get forged currency into

circulation in exchange for good, which was then used to fund drug trafficking

out of Bristol.

18 people were arrested when the ring was broken, but no -one knows where Bly

got to.

I thought he left the country, actually.

Now that these notes have turned up here, you think that he has too?

I think it's worth investigating.

Show the pictures around.

See what you get.

Usual, please, Gina.

Ah, David, just the person. You free this afternoon, by any chance?

Oh, yes, sir, I could be. Good, because I've let the low house to a friend of

mine who's putting up some American clients. You know how picky the Yanks

be, so I need some furniture taken over from the hall. There'll be something in

it for you, of course.

Oh, right.

Well, thank you. I'll drink up. Go, Matt.

Everything all right there, Blaketon?

Blimey, where did all these come from?

Kind of on the roadside.

Who'd bother to collect all this stuff and then just dump it?

Oh, with taste, maybe.

I don't know that.

It reminds me of Tebbit's mantelpiece for years.

It's not something you'd easily forget.

Perhaps I should have a word with her.

Oh, she died last year.

You could ask Sandra, though, her daughter.

She's out on the Elzenby Road.

Excuse me.

Have you seen either of these people?

No.

Could you let us know if you do? Yeah.

Excuse me.

Oi!

Oi!

Oi!

Oi, you there, police, call me in.

Jim, would you... Stop it. More noise, why don't you?

The cops were on the street showing pictures around.

What about?

I don't know. I didn't get close enough to find out.

What are we going to do?

Once we get to Holland, we'll be fine. I can get money there.

You sure you can't talk your cousin into being paid later?

No, he won't budge. Cash up front.

And real cash, Jim. He knows about the dust. I can't get cash.

The pigs have seized all my assets.

We'll have to keep passing the fibres.

It's getting risky, Jim.

That car!

It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

What on earth is all this, Younger? Surely processing a shoplifter is within

your competence?

Or is that too much to hope for?

Gee.

The Gazette are going to love this.

Police chief's wife in shoplifting scandal.

How do you know she's my wife?

It's a matter of a tin of luncheon meat, Sergeant.

Found in Mrs Miller's bag.

Is this true?

It certainly is.

Oh, Jane.

What have you done?

I've done nothing.

Nothing at all.

Well, she would say that, wouldn't she?

Perhaps there's been some misunderstanding.

My wife has been under some strain lately.

No, I haven't.

And have the goods been returned?

This is what they call graft, I suppose.

Graft? This kind of corruption can't go unchallenged. I'm pressing charges.

Arrest this woman.

You're right. You'd better arrest me.

What? I want a full investigation.

So do I.

Well, go on.

I only sold it yesterday.

A nice young couple. I got two pounds for it. They were setting up a shop

somewhere. They said Sheffield, I think.

Was it these people by any chance?

I suppose it might have been her. Her hair were blonde, though, not black.

But the man waited down by the path.

Is something wrong?

Did they pay with a five -point note?

Well, they didn't have any change, so I gave them three pounds back.

How on earth did you know that?

Did you go have it? I spent it at the greengrocer's. Sorry.

Is it?

Right.

They're going to get it now.

We're both barrels.

Hey, David, give it down.

Thank you.

Right.

All right. Oh, my dear, I am mortified. That naughty husband of mine swore

faithfully that he could drive on the wrong side of the road. My God, he

killed us all.

Yes, he did. Now, I... I'm a stranger here.

But I'm sure you know everyone and everything there is to know.

I pray that you will be my good friend and companion. You will, won't you?

Well, that's settled then. Now, let me make you some real American coffee while

you unload the truck.

Oh, and I hope you won't be offended if I offer you a small gratuity for all

your hard work.

So kind of you. No, I won't be offended at all.

It's Dean's. But please, call me Judy.

I'm always chasing rainbows.

It's Judy Garland.

Drifting clouds,

drifting by.

So, a possible fighting from Sandra Tebbett. Well, the game itself is as old

the hills.

Buy something worthless, pay with a forged note and get real money back as

change. It would explain why so many forged fibres are in circulation

Isn't this all a bit small -scale for Bly?

Well, we've closed down his whole network.

His bank accounts are frozen.

Looks to me like he's seriously strapped.

Why come here?

If Bly's passing so many forged notes so quickly, he's getting desperate.

Ruthie's from up this way.

We think they're looking to leave the country. She's got a cousin who runs a

fishing boat out of Whitby.

He's already under surveillance.

Sorry, Sarge.

What do you want to do about the suspect?

She's still in the interview room.

We'll be going home in about half an hour.

But I'm under arrest.

I'll write out a charge sheet and you'll be released pending further action.

Blount will drop the charges when he's calmed down a bit.

But you think I'm guilty.

You think I'm a shoplifter.

I don't think that, love.

But you have to admit you've not been yourself lately.

And you're at an age, Jean, when... I'm going through the change, so... I'm

losing my marbles. Is that it?

Is that your explanation, Sergeant?

Jean, love... I thought the police were supposed to investigate crime.

We will investigate, but we've got more urgent cases at the moment.

I'm not leaving here until my innocence is proved or that horrible shopkeeper

sees sense.

You'll have to lock me up, George.

We'd only do that if you were uncooperative.

Oh, I intend to be, don't you worry.

What is the punishment for assaulting a police officer?

Morning, Mrs Miller.

A nice cup of tea.

I suppose he's furious with me.

Furious will cover it, yes.

He's afraid I'll embarrass him.

The mad wife.

The thief.

I thought he'd defend me.

How could he not believe me?

I'll try and have a word.

No, no, don't you dare.

This has got to run its course.

I intend to be vindicated.

I don't believe it. It can't be. Hey, don't. Hey, don't get ahead of yourself,

Bernie. As I keep telling our David, we can't be sure it is Judy Garland.

I mean, she's going as Judy Dean.

It's Deans, actually.

It is Mickey Deans. It's her new married name. It must be her. It must be.

Well, all I'm saying is she doesn't look like she did in The Wizard of Oz.

What, she won't wear any gingham frock and plaits? I don't suppose you look

you did 30 years ago, Peg.

I'd recognise her in an instant.

Miss Tebbit! I'm sorry to bother you. Only I think I've done something stupid.

Tell me.

Well, the woman asked if I knew anyone else local who might have interesting

objects to sell. I mentioned my friend Doreen. She lives in Thackerston.

You think they might visit her?

They said they would. But Doreen's away till Friday.

And I told them that.

What if they burgle her house while she's away?

I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on it.

Look, thank you for letting me know. This could be really useful.

Whereabouts in Thackerston?

Standing on the corner, watching all the girls go by.

Standing on the corner, watching all the girls go by.

Brother, you don't know a nicer occupation.

Michael, honey, could you get me some ice?

Michael!

Michael!

Michael Mickey, you see?

Did you get a good one there?

Come on,

Chris! Have you any idea how hard it is to get that kind of money? Two or three

quid at a time.

Look, you know Jim's good for it.

Yeah, all right. No.

All right.

Whatever you say.

He won't budge.

And the boat leaves Whitby Saturday night.

How short are we?

30. 30 quid by Saturday?

Oh, Jim!

30 quid. It's crazy. I mean, I've got money. Loads of it.

I could just get my hands on it.

This is my fault.

If I hadn't walked out like that. Hey, stop that.

If you hadn't walked out, I'd have been there when the cops turned up.

I'm glad we had that fight.

And making up was fun, wasn't it?

Eh?

We'll try the house in Fackastown.

No, there's nobody there till Friday. The woman said so.

Well, better.

If someone is there, we'll play the car.

If not, we'll break in.

There'll be something there waiting for them.

And when it's dark, we'll nick a car and head for Whitby.

No point risking it till we have to.

I've just seen the couple you're after at the phone box on Fraser Road. They

disappeared towards Thackerston.

Thackerston? Carol, you're brilliant.

Delta Alpha 240 Control.

I need to get a message for Sergeant Dawson. Over.

Well, is it her?

Yeah, come on, Bernie, is it?

Well, it looks like her. She's wearing red, and that's her favourite colour.

And vodka's definitely her tipple.

How do you know all that?

I read things. I remember.

Hello? Is anyone there?

No.

Davey, honey, is that you?

Oh. Oh.

Uh.

Yeah, we just wanted... See if you're settling in all right.

Well, I guess that is a real British welcome.

Am I going to be interrogated now?

Questioned, Jean.

Not interrogated.

Now, there are two police officers present, as required by the law, for

protection and for ours.

Oh, don't be so pompous.

Now, you deny taking the tin of luncheon meat, but can offer no explanation as

to how it ended up in your bag.

It's your job to solve crimes, isn't it?

I thought I was innocent until proven guilty.

Proven, George.

Not blamed by a husband who should know better.

If Mr Blount insists on pressing charges and this goes to court,

the judge will take into account any mitigating factors.

Mitigating factors?

Yes.

Special circumstances.

Are you taking any new medicines, for instance?

No.

Any problems at home?

Problems at home?

Let's see.

A husband who thinks I'm a liar.

Who doesn't talk to me much.

And when he does, doesn't listen to what I say.

Who hasn't looked at me with love or kindness in half a year?

Someone who'd rather spend every hour that God sends stuck at his desk than

share any time with me?

Do those count as problems, Geoffrey?

Take Mrs. Muller back to the cell, young man. We'll continue this later.

We love you. I mean, we absolutely love you.

Well, that's sweet.

Well, not as much as Bernie does.

I'm sorry, I mean, Bernard.

This is Bernard. He works in the garage. I mean, you're everything to him.

Well,

say hello to Mrs.

Danes, you daft ape.

Please, it's Judy.

Michael, honey!

We have visitors.

And you'll never believe this. Bernard is a mechanic. Isn't that wonderful?

Bernard, your timing's great.

Well, something's been rattling under the hood ever since we came through a

place called Middlesbrough.

The hood?

Oh,

you mean the bonnet. Oh, you mean you want me to mend your Cadillac.

Oh, my.

This is beyond my wildest dreams.

Spill the beans, then.

The sergeant's wife.

What's she say?

Donald, when your marriage was in trouble, would you have wanted people

gossiping about it?

All right.

Fair enough.

But their marriage is in trouble, then.

Sandra said they were planning on coming here, and Carol saw them headed this

way. Still a bit of a long shot.

All right, I'll give it a go.

An hour, no more.

Cheese and pickles, Sarge.

It's your favourite, and so your wife tells me. I'll thank you to mind your

business. We're walking on eggshells out there, Sarge.

Have you understood anything?

Of course he hasn't.

You might not want to talk to me, but you should talk to someone, you know.

There's nothing to talk about.

Right.

Alf.

I'm sorry.

You're trying to help, I suppose.

I don't know how to talk to her anymore.

This last year.

Since the girls have gone.

Well, perhaps you shouldn't try to talk.

Perhaps you should try and to listen.

Works a treat for Mrs Ventress.

Thank you, my lord.

Oh, Mark, are you a fan by any chance?

Sorry? You do know who your friend's client is that's staying at the low

It's only Judy Garland.

Really? Look up there, my lord. There's a flying pig.

Well, Bernie said it's true.

Well, Johnny does do a lot of business in New York and California.

Judy Garland.

Well, I must invite her for supper.

I don't want pianos last tuned.

to burglary and assaulting a police officer.

Ladies and gentlemen, this

is your lucky day.

See Hollywood's finest at play.

Enter a world of romance and glamour.

It's only half a crown.

Here you are.

See? Hollywood's finest at play.

Enter a world of glamour and romance.

Yes? Hey!

Come on, then.

Hey!

Bernie?

Do you think I could be a film star?

Shouldn't think so.

I'm sure you'd be very good at it, though.

Yeah. I thought so, too.

I haven't seen Jim in months.

Not since he left the country. We saw you together.

That wasn't Jim.

Don't waste our time, Ruthie.

Jim's got contacts, you know.

He won't let anything happen to me.

He loves me.

Right.

He loves you so much he leaves you to get locked up.

It's like dealing with a wayward six -year -old.

You have a go.

Sergeant Milley, do your wife want to... Not now.

I went down to the center of the town.

In my feet was the burning of the town.

She stole around the corner, never yet can be. I said, hey, good

looking, you're coming with me. She said, yeah.

I'm the stealer, come to steal your love.

I'm saying nothing.

You're wasting your time.

No, Ruthie, you are wasting our time.

It'll go a damn sight easier for you if you cooperate.

You might as well, you know.

It's over.

How come a man like Jim Bly is doing low -grade cons?

What happened in Bristol, Ruthie?

How did you get away?

We weren't there when you lot piled in.

We'd had a fight.

A real up -and -downer.

I got on the first train out of town and he followed me onto the train.

You know, it was dead romantic.

Like something out of a film.

By the time we got to London, our faces were all over the evening papers.

So we headed up north.

We only had what we stood up in.

Right.

Just like Bonnie and Clyde.

Thought you might find this useful.

Tell us about your cousin, Ruthie.

Chris Blackshield, isn't it? A fisherman working out of Whitby.

I've got a dream for sale.

I must ask you to remain very quiet, eh?

Won't you try if you will close your eyes?

Then maybe you can visualise.

cottage by the shore.

Here's the key, a paradise for two.

Just you and me. If you will stay, you'll be mine.

I'll take down the sign that says I've got a dream for sale.

That Armstrong woman's here again, isn't she?

You're right, my darling.

The English are all mad.

Dorothy!

You again.

No, you don't. Go on.

Hello, love.

Don't call me love unless you mean it.

Don't start, please.

Alf Ventress had a word with me.

Did he?

I told him not to.

He made me think.

We've got a problem and we need to deal with it.

Oh.

Oh, good.

Just like that.

How long have we been married?

Not long enough for you to believe what I tell you, apparently.

Well, you can't say I didn't try.

George.

I know I'm losing my figure and I'm getting a bit wrinkly.

And I'm not the girl who used to twirl around the dance floor at the Locarno.

But I'm still Jean.

The Jean who likes Arctic Roll and mystery novels.

Can you still see her?

I don't think I've looked, you know.

For quite a while.

I don't think you have.

She's missed you.

And I didn't steal that tin of luncheon meat.

So you're heading for the continent on your cousin's fishing boat.

That's not true.

I never said that.

We worked it out, Ruthie.

It's what we do.

Then you're wrong.

And Mr Blackshield will confirm that, will he?

I don't know any Mr Blackshields. I haven't got any cousins.

I don't think we need Ruthie anymore, do you?

Jim's not going to Whitby. I don't think we do, PC Mason.

Put her in the cells, will you?

This way, please.

Lord Ashfordly.

My, my.

Tonight?

No.

No. We don't have any plans.

Okay. Thank you.

The Whippy Force are bringing in Black Shields now.

I've broken with the Vision. I need a word.

Yeah, of course I'll know, Tommy.

And do you remember him being in here yesterday?

Well, now you've come to mention it, yeah?

Good. It seems young Tommy here has discovered a new game. It's called

isn't it, Tommy?

And his favourite part of this game consists of taking things off the

shops like yours and flipping them into the bags and pockets of innocent

bystanders.

One of the people who did this to you yesterday was... Your boss's missus,

I get it.

You little so -and -so.

I take it you'll drop the charges against Mrs Miller.

Catch Miss Abbott, would you rather be?

You think we'll get anything more from her? It's not up to us now. Division

wants her.

She'll have information on other members of Bly's gang.

I'm driving her over now.

Shall I come with you, in case she plays up?

There's no need. She'll be handcuffed.

I'll be fine.

Does this look all right for dinner with a real bona fide lord?

Honey, you look fantastic.

Cheers. Cheers.

I'm not comfortable, Sarge.

With Bly still at large, Sergeant Dawson's at risk.

Are you suggesting that CID don't know what they're doing?

I didn't even see that boy, you know, in the shop.

I'm very grateful, Jeffrey.

And I'm sorry if I embarrassed you before.

I see they're making you comfortable.

Oh, yes.

Is this where I say, I told you so?

Would you like to go to my office?

Where's Joe?

It's a waste of time, you know.

Jim will find me.

He loves me.

We won't let you send me down.

This is so kind of you, Lord Ashford. I hope you'll come again.

Next time I'll invite some of my more entertaining friends. We'll make a

party of it.

That would be lovely.

If we stay.

I'm not certain we will.

Is the house not to your liking?

Heavens no, it's charming.

But our arrival does seem to have got people hot under the collar. It's not

exactly comfortable.

I suppose that's the price of fame.

Oh, come on.

No one hears her to me.

But your work is known and loved around the world.

You're all the same, coppers.

You're all bent.

Come on, then. What's your price? How much to let me go? Will you please just

shut up?

I wonder... No, no, no, you'll think me impersonant, I'm sure, but... Now, I

wonder, would you honour Ashfordly Hall with a song?

Oh, do say if it's too much of a liberty.

The piano was tuned just this afternoon.

I really don't know what to say.

Say yes, please.

My Lord, not only do I not sing, I can't sing.

Oh dear, when did this happen?

I've never been able to sing.

My family begged me not to even try.

Are they always dubbed then? Is that what they call it?

Dubbed. In your films?

Lord Ashfordly, who exactly do you think I am?

Open the door.

Oh, baby!

I knew you'd come.

Maybe you think your cousin wouldn't let him on the boat without you.

You told her? No, Jim, I didn't.

I wouldn't.

Be a good girl, eh?

Get out of the car.

I take it you're not.

It explains everything.

Oh, good Lord.

Oh, I don't mean you, although I'm sure you are a very good Lord.

Am I even like her?

I gather so, but I am so sorry.

Very embarrassing, really. Most awkward indeed.

No, honestly, we will dine out on this for a year.

Right. Where's the key to the couch?

Hurry up, Jim. These things kill.

No! No! No!

Messing around, every guy in town.

Putting me down for faking out because I want you.

Jeff!

Jeff!

Hang on in there, Jeff.

Hang on in there.

I'm afraid I am just a very minor academic called Judy Dean.

I've written a couple of books on American art. That's why I was

anyone had heard of me.

Michael is a business colleague of Johnny's, and when he told us about the

house, we thought it would be fun.

My sincerest apologies.

Say no more about it, my lord.

But how did it happen?

Well... Bernie Scripps was adamant that you were, Miss Garland, and I doubt that

she has a bigger fan.

Bernard? That eccentric old grief monkey.

He's a good man, a very good man. I don't doubt it.

Oh, the poor darling.

How can we tell him? He'll be mortified.

I wonder, Lord Ashfordly...

If you would agree to being part of a very benevolent conspiracy.

Cadillacs aren't wired like Austins, you know. You did do it, though.

Of course.

Couldn't let Judy Garland down. Enough men have done that.

Yeah.

Has Scripps been there all evening?

Well, most of it, my lord. Can you make sure you keep him here?

Sounds a bit suspicious.

I'm so grateful you turned up when you did.

I thought I'd had it.

Don't thank me. It was Mason's idea.

He followed you at a distance, then radioed us for backup.

You all right, then?

Yes, thanks, Sergeant.

He only winged me.

Thanks, Joe.

I owe you a very large drink.

Several, I'd say.

Jeff got shot?

It's only a flesh wound.

Don't worry, they're not keeping him in. He's in hospital.

Oh, poor Jeff.

We all get knocked about a bit.

Yeah, but you're used to it, aren't you?

Do you ever feel like you've been taken for granted?

Eh, not by us, Joe.

I don't think you should have been put at risk like that.

Being a woman, I mean.

Oh.

Don't look at me. I'm staying well out of it.

Oh, George.

Time to go home.

You look lovely.

Don't be daft.

Must look a right mess.

No.

Lovely.

You don't have to be nice to me, you know.

I don't want you to feel you have to make an effort.

I don't feel that.

Good. I thought I might take a few days off.

We could go away somewhere.

I'd like that.

Not Edinburgh, mind.

You should see the prices on the Royal Mile.

Thank you. Oh, no, no, it's on me. For being such a hero.

Oh.

Right.

Thank you.

I suppose I was quite.

Oh,

please, Bernard, stay as you are.

Mrs. Armstrong, Davy, honey, I shall miss you all so much.

Where are you going?

First thing tomorrow.

But what about Mike?

Oh, Michael has been called away.

Did you have any luck with the caddy, Bernard?

Oh, yes, it's fine. It's a beautiful car.

Let me settle. No, no, no, I won't hear of it. No, it's been an honor and a

privilege. Oh, that is so kind.

You know, Bernard, people like me couldn't be people like me without

you.

I hope you'll always think of me as your good and very special friend, Judy.

Do you think I should tell him the truth?

Don't you dare, Oscar.

Don't you dare.

There he is!

That's Aston!

Look, I don't know if this helps. I lost my mum too.

She was murdered.

I'm looking for a stolen hot dog van.

Quick! Don't just stand there! Run!

Is Carol all right?

Can I talk to her?