Original subtitles

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

Nice shooting.

Not bad.

You want to see the books?

Just for the record.

Give me five minutes, you two. Don't move a muscle till I say.

We'll borrow that for a minute, Stan.

Yeah.

Everything in order, as I'd expect.

We don't take chances. Some of the cadets can be dozy beggars.

Easy for Arnold to go missing.

You happy?

Perfectly.

So, what news on the transport front?

Well, I'm still trying to get a discount from British Rail, but it doesn't help

when some of us don't want breakfast.

What's the point of going on a train with a restaurant car if we don't have

breakfast? Everyone to his own, Oscar. Not in this case, Al. This is a group

outing on nothing. Breakfast for all.

Oh, I've got some good news. I talked to Lord Ashfordly about getting in to see

the Houses of Parliament and he's very kindly agreed to get us in and give us a

tour. Hello, hello.

What do you want?

Come back to the bar, Peg. They're having a meeting in here. The Three

We're doing this for your benefit.

Oh, yes?

Well, nobody's asked me what I want to do in London.

You'll be doing what everyone else is doing.

That's all right.

As long as we're all having a tea in one of them posh hotels.

You know, china tea cups, little fancies on a cake stand, and sandwiches with

the crust cut off.

If you don't put some money into the kitty soon, you won't be going anywhere.

I am well aware of my cash shortfall, thank you, Alf.

I'm owed plenty.

It's getting paid that's my problem.

Oh, buy her a drink, Alf, for goodness sake, or we'll never get on.

All right, in you go.

Excuse me, miss.

I need the toilet.

You've had all break to deal with that.

I've got, miss.

Don't be ridiculous. You're not a five -year -old.

No, miss, but I'll have to go.

Inside. Oh, come on, please. In!

Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful.

Not so neither, but if I had wit enough to get out of this wood, I have enough

to serve mine own turf.

Out of this wood?

Do not desire to go.

Thou shalt remain here, whether thou wilt or no.

I am a spirit of no common rate.

Er, Miss, Miss, you stood in it.

What is it now?

I did ask.

Oh, can I move, Miss?

This is smashing, Aunt Peg.

It's good old some food, David.

Better than you get in some parts.

You'll have to settle for nibbles in a place like London.

Nibbles? Yeah, you know, little bits of things.

Foreign, some of them.

A big lad like you will never get full.

I wouldn't know. I've never been.

Oh, it's not just the food.

It's the people.

Millions of them, shoulder to shoulder in underground trains.

No room to breathe.

Trains that go underground.

Fantastic.

Not if you were stuck in them for hours on end. And when you do finally get some

daylight, there's traffic jams and choking smog. Oh, no, David, I guarantee

London is not your cup of tea.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Yes, yes, you're right.

That's to get somebody you trust to find out first.

Eh?

Somebody like me.

Well, I've nearly paid up.

Oh, that's no problem.

I'll send her to just switch your funds to my account and I'll reimburse you as

and when.

Well... I'll go to the foot of our apples and pears.

What? I wouldn't edible Eve it.

What are you talking about?

That's Alcottney's talk.

Who taught you that?

Well, never you mind. But if you think I'm going to be done up like a dipper,

you've another thing coming.

A dipper.

I hear

you're not eating.

No. The dinner ladies were asking.

I'm not hungry.

First job in teaching, it can put you off your grub.

Bosh, isn't it giving you 5C?

It's only four periods a week.

No matter, cannot you confidence?

The waste is most of them. They don't want to learn.

You have the same trouble?

No.

What's the secret?

Fear.

Look, I know these kids.

Some need carrots, others a stick.

Just give me your name and I promise they won't bother you again.

Well done, Gillian.

So you're new here? Yeah.

Really fine, isn't it?

Well, new job, new area. It's all a bit strange, really.

John Wilson!

All done.

So where are you living?

I'm lodging in Ashfordly.

It's a bit grim, actually.

Why, you should look in Edensfield.

I could show you around if you're interested.

Thank you.

That'd be really helpful.

Get changed and get the equipment out the circuit belt in here

Sir

bend over the desk

do it You

know why don't you know

I hear you wet yourself in class.

No, sir, it was a joke.

Is that right?

Well, let me see you laugh now, eh?

Separate us out. Go and get showered and changed.

Quickly!

Not you, Bell.

You can go round again.

Sir, did you want to join in with it again?

No, sir.

I think I didn't see you backsliding.

Rolls.

Climb. Come on.

Move it, Bell. Put your feet up. Run!

back into it climb come on higher you're useless bell right next one move

come on six one two come on bell put you back into it

i've got all day bell keep moving quicker

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were with somebody.

Oh, it's all right. Wendy's a friend, not a patient.

This is my neighbour, P .C. Mason.

Aidensfield, thin blue line.

Joe to my friend.

Hello. Hello.

Wendy's a new teacher at Ashfordly School. I'm helping her look for digs.

Aidensfield? Possibly, yeah.

Well, I'm sure you'd be made most welcome.

Was there something you wanted?

Oh, yes. A couple of your letters were misdirected to me.

Oh. Thanks.

That it?

Yes. I'll let you get on.

Nice to meet you, Wendy.

Nice to meet you too.

David, do you keep leaving that barn door off the latch?

No. Oh, go such foes.

Not as much.

Ernie John, I've told you before about coming in here to Kip. It's breaking and

entering.

Are you listening?

Excuse me.

Can I have a word?

Sure.

Morning. Hi, Jo.

This is Paul.

He's bring Gary Bell, collapsed at school yesterday and spent the night in

Ashfordly General.

Is he all right? He's been discharged this morning.

How can I help?

Paul told me what happened to Gary and I think you should hear it too.

Did the doctor say what he died on?

No. Living rough, of course.

How old do you reckon he was?

Well, he looked as if he were about 90, but if he left your window open, he'd be

through it like a ten -year -old.

Have his parents made a complaint?

Gary won't tell them what really happened.

Why not?

He'd have to tell them he'd met in a bowing class.

That's how he deserved it.

Come on, you'd better get off to school.

I'm not sure what we can do, but it was up here.

You weren't telling him when I came?

No, of course not.

You've got to say something.

The hospital doctor confirmed that Gary had suffered severe bruising.

What Osgood did throughly amounts to criminal assault.

However much I agree with you, my hands are tied.

It's an internal matter for the school.

But I'll see what I can do.

Gary!

Yeah?

T .C. Maiden's from Aidensfield.

The hospital said that you'd be resting up today.

You haven't told my dad that.

Can you tell me what happened exactly?

Well, I just felt dizzy the next thing I was in the ambulance.

The doctor tells me that you sustained severe bruising before you collapsed.

Yeah?

I hear that it was caused by your P .E. teacher.

You haven't told my dad that.

No.

But perhaps you should.

I'll get you a rake as well as a sore backside.

Look, if an official complaint was made, the head or the school governors might

be able to do something about Mr... They already know about him and do now.

I'm leaving soon, so just keep me out of it.

I understand Bell was discharged this morning.

No harm done.

If it had happened outside of the school, we would have viewed it as a

assault.

We have over 500 pupils here, Constable.

The good, the bad and the middling.

With such a mixed bag, discipline is essential.

Especially among fifth formers like Bell, who see no point in being here.

I appreciate that.

Ah, Jim.

Come in.

This is PC Mason.

Mr Osgood. He's here in connection with young Bell's admission to hospital.

There's some suggestion that he might have been treated a little too robustly.

Have the parents complained?

No. The boy?

No, but if a doctor or nurse draws their attention to something, we have a duty

to ask questions.

I've just been telling PC Mason we have no problems with discipline here.

We have problems, sir. They just get snuffed out before they reach you.

Jim's the sergeant in the TA.

A dab hand when it comes to managing young men.

Well, thank you for your comments, Constable.

Rest assured we'll bear them in mind.

I'll see myself out.

Was it him?

Yeah, sometime last night.

What's that?

Ernie Dunn, found dead.

Er, Peggy Armstrong rang first thing to say she'd found him in one of her barns.

Natural causes.

Doc seems to think so.

She'll be grateful he didn't die under our roof, given Younger's habit of

supplying him with a cell for the night.

He could be very plausible, Sergeant.

Well, I for one won't mourn his passing.

At times he could be a one -man petty crime wave.

Shame for House, though. He's lost the snout.

What?

Bernie let it slip.

It's not a secret, House.

Now he's passed away.

And he done with your snout?

Well, um, we did have contact now and again.

So did we all, but we didn't pay him for the privilege.

Well, I never gave him more than a couple of bob.

Bed, board and a pension code for the interstation.

And did this information yield any results?

I'd have to think.

Wonderful.

Who's identifying him? Relatives?

No one sure he had any.

Well, he didn't have any friends, apart from these two.

So I'll leave it to you to find his next of kin.

Good morning.

Hello. You look ready for anything.

Well, that's our boast.

Is there something on today?

The army recruitment officer's coming to speak to the fifth form. Ah.

I'm doing a shooting demonstration prior to the meeting.

So, how were fives for you this morning?

Fine. A bit subdued?

Not surprising after what happened.

To Belle?

Forget it.

Just be grateful, that's all.

Yeah, I am.

I thought you and I might go for a drink later on.

Get to know one another a little better.

That would be nice, Jim, but I'm snowed under with marking.

It's been a long time since I've heard that one.

Truthfully, I am.

Look, I've got to supervise detention after school, which gives you a couple

hours to play the dutiful teacher before I pick you up. And not another word,

all right? See you later.

So what's going on?

It seems that Mr Ordred punished the boys so harshly that he collapsed and he

ended up in hospital.

Have his parents made a complaint?

No, but the medics drew my attention to it.

I know Osgood.

It's possible he may have overstepped the mark on this occasion.

But he has a good reputation for licking young terroirs into shape.

By creating a climate of fear?

That's for the headmaster and the school governor to judge.

Not us.

You're a liar.

You fancy it like mad.

Not as much as other losers with their tongues hanging out.

Yeah.

Anyway, she's waiting for a rich blow with her car.

You know, I reckon I saw her diary among the pile in his confiscation cupboard.

Think how grateful she'd be if you got it back for her.

Got it back?

How?

Breaking.

Breaking? Yeah.

When's that it coming to him?

You hear me?

You're mental.

So are you.

I'm under four.

Sir, the caretaker tells me you intend to hold a shooting demonstration.

Yes, sir, before the recruiting officer comes, where the boy's interest.

I'm sorry, Jim, but I am totally against having weapons on school premises, let

alone discharging them.

I've always supported your careers meetings, but I'm afraid I'm going to

draw the line at this.

Every time I go into that barn, from now on, I shall see him lying

there.

Well, the way people have reacted to the news, old Ernie won't be greatly

missed, will he?

Well, you reap what you sow in this life, Dawn.

There's our spokeswoman.

Sorry I'm late.

Spokeswoman? Yeah, for us girlies. Yes, to make sure we have a say on what we're

going to do in London.

It's all in the itinerary, Gina.

Can I have a look at that, Oscar?

Three hours at the House of the Parliament?

Yes, well, it's a big place, but I thought if we made good time, we could

the Imperial War Museum.

There doesn't seem to be a lot of spare time here, Oscar.

What do you want spare time for?

Well, shopping, for example.

Here, here.

You're going to the capital city.

Look, can we not just go shopping while you're with Lord Ashford, will you?

We said we would all stick together.

Yes, but couldn't we be a bit more flexible?

All right, then let's have a vote. All those in favour, a once -in -a -lifetime

chance to visit the Mother of Parliament.

Thank you, David.

All those that want to go shopping.

All right, I see.

Well, some people travel to broaden their minds, other people just want to

back a stick of rock.

Meeting closed.

Oh, dear.

Your teacher friend hasn't wasted much time.

She wants to watch her step with him, though.

It's in here.

You stay here.

You keep watch.

What's the matter?

Why are we here?

Have you enjoyed the evening?

Yes, thank you.

Same here.

I just didn't want it to end, so I...

You get it?

Yeah. Oh, nice one.

And this.

How do you take that for?

You'll have a fit.

Yeah. Take it back.

I mean it, Gary. Get rid.

No. Let's get out of here.

I told my landlady I'd be back.

Play her mum, is she?

Sort of.

Mustn't keep her up.

You should learn to relax more.

No, Jim.

What's the problem?

I was happy to come out for a drink, but that's all.

I've been a friend to you, haven't I?

Yeah, of course.

Friends usually show a little more appreciation.

I'm sorry.

Me too. I don't like to insist.

Can we go, please?

You're a lovely young woman, Wendy, you know, but a little bit too much buttoned

up for your own good. Stop this! I want to go home now!

You're not listening, are you?

Come on. Get off me. Don't be like that.

Let go.

You'll get lost. You're safer here with me.

Come here.

Come on.

Don't struggle.

Stop struggling.

Ah, Jim.

Bad do.

The caretaker called first thing.

Where did they get in?

Through the boiler room. You might be able to tell PC Weatherby what's gone.

It'll take a while. I don't keep a record of such.

What exactly did the cupboard hold?

It's a store for confiscated items.

And you give them back?

Eventually, yes.

But not the magazines.

We destroy those, don't we?

Yes, I was collecting a batch to burn in the boiler.

Really?

Oh, come on.

The check was in the post the last time I called.

Look, we were a month getting rid of mice in your flower store and now two

months waiting for payment.

What do you mean they've come back?

Oh, not from Stone Cold, they haven't.

Ella.

Hello?

He cut me off.

Right. That's how Draycott wants it. It's time to play dirty.

Peggy, it's Peter Younger.

He wants to talk to you about Ernie Dunn.

Oh? Yes, the coroner's accepted police identification of him, but we've still

got to inform any relatives.

I thought you might know if he had any.

He might have popped his clogs here, but he never got them under my table long

enough to tell me his life story.

He did give them a job once.

Oh, don't remind me.

We were digging turnips and within half an hour he was asleep in the back of the

lorry with all our butties inside him.

An inside job?

Probably. If it was, I hope he finds a culprit before all the good does.

Why's that?

He's the unofficial school thug.

Lots of enemies, then?

Plenty. But not too many with the guts to break in and stress his stash of

smacks. Oh, hello.

Yes? Jo Mason.

Carol introduced us.

Yes. I remember.

We're investigating the break -in. Yeah, I heard about that.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm sorry. I have to go.

Yeah, it's good. Bye.

Are you trying to avoid me?

Now, why would I want to do that?

Things got out of hand last night. I'm sorry.

All right?

All right?

Of course it's not all right.

Just leave me alone.

What did you tell PC Nosey Parker?

Has it got to do with you? Well, that's why I'm asking.

Best to keep that night to yourself, or... Things might get out. What?

Well, people might find out who got me to rough up Gary Bell. You fancy that on

your CV, do you? Oh, if... None of this would have happened if you'd have got a

proper grip on your job. What do you mean?

The breaking.

My fault? Who else but Bell would have had the cause or the bottle to do it?

You're hurting me. He's taken my gun.

What? Yeah.

So I suggest you shut your mouth and mind your back.

I can see the moon's glass today.

Somewhere.

There you

go.

Two sugars. Thanks, Dawn.

So did Ernie ever say where he came from?

Not for me.

Oh, no, not me.

The only words I exchanged with Ernie Dunne were usually short and sharp.

Accompanied by some very unladylike gestures, if I remember.

It's an awful thing to say now, but he didn't half pong.

So, you were there all evening?

Yeah. Doing what?

Playing records.

Until when?

Until Paul's folks came in.

About half ten.

You were playing records?

Yeah. Can anyone confirm that?

Only my mum and dad.

Oh, they were in at the time?

No. But when they came back, Gary was still with me.

So from 7 .30 to 10 .30, it was just you two at home playing records?

Cozy. Why are you picking on me?

You had a motive.

What's that, then?

Revenge.

That was quite a laugh, scattering those magazines around.

What magazines?

You're a good maid.

But there are limits to friendship.

You could be getting yourself into a lot of trouble here.

Is he worth it?

It was you, wasn't it?

What was... If you've got what's mine, lad, your life

won't be worth living.

No school today?

It's lunchtime.

I thought I'd pop out and see you.

Fine.

Has something happened?

There's been a break -in at the school.

The police were called and I bumped into Joe Mason.

I was very offhand with him.

Any particular reason?

Not really.

I was flustered, I suppose.

I wondered, could you apologise for me?

Apologise for you?

Is that really what's bothering you?

Did you find when I saw you in the pub last night?

What is it, Wendy? What happened?

Nothing stolen.

No, it's probably just the kids. I wanted to show them off as a dirty old

Have you informed Steve at times? Yes, but they're not rushing.

Ashfordly Police Station.

Any joy on that?

No, Sergeant.

Not a trace.

Perhaps we should have another look through Ernie's belongings.

A piece of string, some fagbuts and orange peel would be my guest.

We'll get back to you as soon as possible.

But that's Draycott's bakery.

Peggy Armstrong is blocking their entrance with a load of horse manure and

threatening to dump it.

You must get over there, Wetherby.

You too, Younger.

Two of us, Sergeant.

Could be very nasty if it hits the fan.

Oh, hello.

What can we do for you?

Is there someone we could talk?

Wendy Cowellshaw came to see me.

She said she'd been offhand when she bumped into you at school.

Yeah, she was a bit strange.

She seemed about to burst into tears.

I must be losing my touch.

Wasn't you that upset her?

If you went for a drink last night with Jim Osgood, on the way back, he

assaulted her.

She told you this?

After a lot of persuasion.

Why didn't she come here herself?

She's too scared.

She asked me not to tell anyone.

But if what she says is true, this is too serious for me not to. You've done

right to tell me, but unless she reports it, we can't do anything.

This is her first job, Joe. If she makes a complaint, he'll deny it.

There'll be an investigation, publicity, a scandal. She'll come out of it more

traumatised than she's already.

What do you think you're doing?

I'm making a delivery.

Of what?

What does it smell like?

Well, you're obstructing the entrance, so move.

Soon as Draycott's paid my bill.

You're holding up his delivery van. Well, it's his choice. Either he coughs

or I dump this little lot right here.

Right, I'll have a word with him.

We can't have this, you know, David.

Well, I'm trying to talk her out of it, but you know what she's like.

Have you found any of Ernie Dunn's family yet?

Afraid not, no.

Well, so what happens?

How do you mean?

Well, you know, who's going to raise the funeral?

The council, I expect.

What's it to be?

My money or a pile of muck?

You know, demanding money with menaces is a criminal offence.

Why didn't you tell me that before?

Don't try this again, Mrs Armstrong, you hear?

Loud and clear.

Constable Lovers.

Lost anything, Mr. Osgood?

Just wondered if I'd missed something, Sergeant.

A gun, perhaps?

What?

Someone's been trying to get hold of you from TAHQ.

Oh, right.

A gun has gone missing.

So naturally they called us.

Yes, well, I'm sorry you've been troubled. I took it to give the pupils a

demonstration. I meant to return before it was missed.

The terms of the TA licence forbid firearms being taken from the premises

than for official operations.

Guilty of charge, Sergeant.

So where is it?

Safe at home. I'll deal with it straight after school.

No, I'd like it dealt with now, please.

Now? PC Weatherby will go with you.

I'll square your absence with the Headmaster.

Erm... Problem?

It's not there.

Then where is it?

I left it in the cupboard last night.

I'll get scenes of crime right away.

You've been a fool, Mr Osgood.

Now don't touch another thing.

Linda, Mr Osgood would like a word.

Would you please? Thank you.

No joy from the themes of Crime Officer.

There's too many different sets of prints in and around Osgood's room.

Nothing fresh at the point of entry.

That's the bell for the end of school search.

Without a definite lead, we'll have to leave it till tomorrow.

Where is it? What?

Don't mess me around.

She said it were you who gave her the diary.

I didn't break it.

Who? Do you? You know what happens to a soldier who loses his weapon.

He gets to a partial.

There's no bigger crime in the army.

Now, who was it?

Come on, tell me, who was it?

Who was it?

It was Gary.

It was Gary.

You've got to stop him. Who?

He's not good. He's gone mad.

He knows Gary broke into the school. He knows he's got the gun.

Please, you've got to get to the farmer or he'll kill him. Oh, hang on.

Tell me exactly what happened.

Gary?

Hello? Hello?

Could we talk?

In here.

I owe you an apology for what happened to you.

I told Mr Osgood that you were a disruptive influence.

I had no idea he'd do what he did to you.

Yeah, well, he's known for it.

Perhaps someone should have warned me about him.

Anyway. I'm sorry I let you in for it.

My fault, I suppose, for playing the fool.

Apology accepted.

There's something else.

You know, the police have been investigating a breaking.

Yeah?

Something was taken from Mr. Odgood's room.

Something that makes it very serious.

I'd implore anyone who knew where it was to hand it over.

If you were that person, I'd hate to think what might happen to you.

I'd have that on my conscience as well.

My lips sealed, Gary.

I promise you, nobody need know.

Thank you.

So what's this?

Bonnie and Clyde?

Give that to me and get out.

Don't come any closer or I'll shoot.

You'll shoot?

Little Miss Wet Weekend?

I'm serious.

This has got nothing to do with you.

It's between me and that little toe rag hiding behind your skirt.

Keep back!

Do as she says.

You think this daft cow scares me?

Back off, Mr Osgood.

School kids are enough to put the wind up her. It takes guts to pull a trigger.

Is that gun loaded?

Yeah.

Just put the gun down, Wendy.

It's all right. It's not going to hurt either of you again.

Come on, give me the gun. It's over.

50 seconds. Just take it, man.

Stupid bitch!

Save your breath for the court.

There we are, then.

That's me.

Paid up.

Pity. Now, what about the itinerary?

Well, I don't think I've been listening to what you've all been saying, and I

agree. I think we should give the Imperial War Museum a miss.

And the Houses of Parliament?

No, Dawn. I think it's important we pay respect to our great tradition.

Like democratic freedom.

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah, of course you can, David.

Right, it's about Ernie Dunn.

What's he got to do with our trip to London?

Well, nothing. It's just a... Well, I was wondering, you know, seeing as we're

all together, if anybody had heard about the funeral.

Oh, no.

Ernie?

No, no idea. It's the council that deals with porpoise funerals. Right, then,

can we get on?

Well, I was just wondering, do you know that he hasn't got any relatives?

I was just wondering who might turn up. Not now, David. You're holding up the

meeting. Look, I know that nobody liked him, really, but he was part of our

village. Oh, aye, he made his mark on many a doorstep.

Right, well, I just think it's wrong that nobody's there to see him off,

all.

How much would a normal funeral cost, Bernie?

Oh, depends.

Why?

Oh, just wondering.

Well, no frills, fair.

We'll set you back about 200.

Oh, what we've got in our kitty.

Oh, for goodness sake.

No -one's suggesting we put our kitty at the disposal of an undertaker for the

benefit of Ernie Dunn.

Are they?

Well... It's not exactly for his benefit, Oscar.

He's dead.

Now look what you've started.

Shut up!

I've said enough.

He's right, though.

Only one part of the community, for better or worse.

How could it be for the better?

Well, it would make us look good.

That would be his gift.

Oh, he's got a gift.

He had a gift for thieving, scrounging, malingering. He conned us when he was

alive. Now he's trying to do it from the grave.

Well, come on, somebody.

Say something.

All those in favour of giving Ernie Dunn a decent send -off.

Oh, come on, Oscar.

Mr Bateman? Yes, sir.

I assume Osgood won't be pleading guilty. I think that's a thick bet.

When the time comes, Wendy Kalshaw will give her evidence in court.

She seems determined to go through with it.

The boy, too?

Yes, Lord.

You were right about Osgood.

Power without self -control makes for a dangerous beast.

But with a bit of luck, this one will be behind bars for a while.

Well, you look cheerful, considering.

Yeah, well, it's the glow from knowing he did the right thing.

It were a champion film, it really were.

Everly discounted, I hope.

Of course.

In fact, there's a bit left in the kitchen to start the ball rolling again.

I don't want a drink to that.

Well, here's to next year.

London or bus.

London or bus.

Right.

Quiet, everyone, for Mr Al Fentress.

When Ernie jumped, we're still alive.

Folks said he were no good.

But now he's dead. They've changed their tune.

He's called misunderstood.

But Ernie Dunn can hear them not, for he's climbed that golden stair.

And when he comes to Golden Gate, he thunders, Open there!

So St Peter went to look him book.

He thought old Dunn would wait.

But when he came back, all done were gone.

Aye, and so were Goldergate.

It's a gene.

You want to know what I'm going to do to Lenny?

Get your books back off him. That's right.

And stop him giving evidence any way I have to.

Keeping books for gangsters, abandoning your doors to them.

Go find something to fit you.