Original subtitles

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

Well, you've excelled yourself, Brenda. These cakes look delicious.

Baking's what I'm best at.

People give their time. They deserve something in return.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Right then, well, before we carry on, we are at the top of our game.

And if we keep as focused as we have been doing all week, the Wallace Copp

should be back here where he belongs on...

Saturday night.

Yeah.

Well, let's have another bash then at... Blaze away. And it's after two.

Where's Norman?

Out for a smoke, I think.

Excuse me.

It's worth considering.

I'll have a word and... Not now.

Hey, what the hell are you playing at?

Get inside. He's trying to sabotage our chances.

Keep on. We're trying to have a conversation.

Come back in, Les. Don't let us have a thing.

You should pay attention to your wife, Les.

Or somebody else will.

The cup's ours.

You don't stand a chance.

The judges will know quality when they hear it. Yeah, exactly.

How many times have I told you that?

Les, what have I told you before?

Les, leave it. Come on. Everything all right here, Oscar?

Here, everything's fine, Joe. Just a bit of artistic temperament, that's all.

I thought you reckoned that if the two bands joined forces, it could get us

bookings. Paid, too, not just charity work.

It's in the pub later. It's worth a conversation.

Right, blaze away after two. One, two!

A minute.

He can stay on the phone as long as he likes if it means I can spend time with

you.

Let me introduce myself, mademoiselle.

Johnny. Johnny Lee.

That's Marcus, but I hope you'll ignore him.

I hope you'll only have eyes for me.

Just use our sharp day.

Well, I've said my piece.

I think a combined band is the best way forward.

I'll leave you to think about it.

A pint, please, Joan.

Evening, Peggy.

Blimey! What put that smile on your face?

His name's Johnny and he drives a sports car. You should see him. He looks like

Georgie Beth and Jim Morrison rolled into one. And he speaks French.

He's going to come and pick me up for a drive later, but I don't know what to

wear. What should I wear?

Just be yourself.

Don't be daft. He's dead posh.

George Beck and Jim Morrison, eh?

Well, me, I'd go more for Englebert Humphrey, I think. We, a bit of Michael

Rennie and perhaps a dash of David Frost.

Sean Connery and Paul McCartney. Oh.

Hello,

Oscar. How's rehearsal's going?

Oh, it's great. They're on championship form. Gin and tonic, Brenda? Thanks.

Where's little Phil?

I haven't seen him for a while.

They change so quickly at that age, don't they?

Yeah, Gina's taken him to Liverpool to see her family.

You'd think Bill Plodger'd keep out of the way till after the competition,

wouldn't you? Show a bit of sensitivity.

No need to fantasise about film stars.

I mean, think of all the good -looking local men.

Must have missed them. Perhaps a blink. Well, this John Weatherby, mind you,

he's married.

But that... PC Mason's got a bit of a twinkle.

If I were in your position and 30 years younger, I'd take down his particulars.

You should meet and talk to him, my Michael Bill Bush.

I know what he is.

Underneath all that smarm and banter.

Oh, right, no bless.

What's his past?

Got Brenda now.

You heard from Al? Oh, aye. Mrs Ventress wants to see all the chapels in

Abergavenny.

Blimey, Dawn.

Aren't you lovely?

Put your eyes back in, David.

Well, wish me good luck.

Good luck.

Well,

you've gone away.

My sister cancelled and couldn't change my leave, so... Any ideas?

One or two.

Perhaps I could cheer you up.

We'll go straight home, love, shall we?

No, we're not.

Come on, Mr Hinton. No more trouble.

What is it, Norman?

The village hall's on fire.

Blue skies smile at me.

Nothing but blue skies, blue skies do I see.

Bluebirds,

bluebirds humming a song.

Nothing but bluebirds, bluebirds all the day long.

Why are we stopping?

Surprise.

Champagne. Oh, Johnny.

Hello, mademoiselle Aurore.

I've told you, it's dawn.

That's Aurore in French.

I love France. I'm going to live in Paris.

Write sad songs about broken hearts.

You'd be my muse, Dawn.

Dear, it's a roar.

There's no damn bit silly instruments if they're gone. Oh, he's a musician. He

wouldn't harm the instruments.

Bill Bodge, he set the fire.

Oh, please.

He was in the pub half the... and saw him. Now, why are you defending him?

You're still under arrest for the assault at the pub.

You'll accompany me to the station as soon as I've finished here.

I'm sorry, but we'll take anything he says about Bill with a pinch of salt.

I think you're not seriously going to take him in, Joe.

It's just two middle -aged men behaving like kids. Just give them a warning.

It's not police business.

I don't agree, and I don't think Sergeant Miller would either.

Small arguments can lead to big trouble.

Jazz fusion.

It's a new thing in Paris.

La terre est bleue comme une orange.

A man called Paul Eluard wrote that.

Do you know what it means?

Well, as long as it's not mucky.

The er is as blue as an orange.

Oh, yeah. And the sky is as green as a phone box.

Fantastic.

You understand completely, don't you?

The whole aesthetic.

Jean -Paul Sartre would be proud of you.

I was in the pub.

Your constable saw me.

We have witnesses who saw you leave the stoke for about half an hour.

Well, the band members needed time to think about what I proposed.

I went for a walk, then I went back and we talked some more. Anyone see you on

this walk? I don't know.

Look, there can't be any evidence that I set fire to the village hall.

I didn't. I wouldn't.

There should be a couple of white in this persecution complex.

Why did he hit you so much?

I took his wife.

My wife, Nora, used to be married to Les.

We fell in love and she left him.

It's ten years ago now.

The National Brass Band Conference at Derby.

Les can't get over it.

He chucked me out of the Aidensfield Band, so I started my own.

Look, I don't like the man, but I'd never harm his band.

I plan to win this competition fair and square.

A fire brigade reckon the fire was caused accidentally.

It probably started in the kitchen.

And if Bill Budge won't press charges for the assault on the pub, we have no

reason to hold either of them.

Younger, let Epplewhite out of the cells.

Tell Mr Budge he's free to go. But if there's any more trouble... No Gina

tonight?

No. Oh. I certainly have an half day tomorrow.

I was going to offer to take her into Kirkby. Well, you can't. She's not here.

It's a good job Norman Taylor noticed that smoke, otherwise the old place

have gone up. Nobody would have heard that from me, I think.

Viva la France, vive la mort!

Oh, it went well, then.

He said, I'm naturally sophisticated and I could pass as a real Parisian.

Isn't that a biscuit?

No, you're thinking of a Viennese world.

Yeah, well, anyway, Johnny's lent me some records and he said he's going to

me to see a film with subtitle.

Bless her.

Well, she wants to watch out.

Noreen Braithwaite fell for a Belgian, and now she's in a leg brace.

There you go for that.

Come on, Liz, let's get back.

Yeah, best hurry home, Liz.

You and your band are going to need all the practice you can get.

You say, keep your hands off my pants and keep your hands off my band!

Or what?

Or I'll kill you!

Lock him up!

Get off!

Get off!

Come on. Yes!

I've learned my lesson.

I'll behave.

Please, it's the last band rehearsal.

I really need to be there.

I'll let you go with the court. If you give me your solemn word, you'll go

nowhere near Bill Budge.

I know it's not easy.

You've lost your wife and you blame him.

But you have to look at it as water under the bridge.

I've told you.

No, it's all right.

He's on his way back from the police station. They've only just let him out.

Go on.

I'm listening.

Bernie, you must be desperate. Another hour before opening time, yes? I'm off

a job.

Dawn was supposed to hold the fort.

She slept in. It wouldn't surprise me.

She had that wretched record player going all night. I used to like jazz.

It's like they were in France.

So, what do you think, Bernie? I mean, I've borrowed Aunty Juna's beret, she

won't mind.

Very nice.

Dawn, I don't need you to look after the funeral parlour today, as it turns out.

We don't want to scare people to death, do we?

What do they mean, scare people?

I've never heard that played better.

I need the toilet.

This band, you know, it's not about money, it's about community.

The face of a sick child who's had a day out in Filey because we helped to raise

funds for the coach.

Well, that to me is worth ten times more than the fee for a concert.

Aye.

There's no reason why we shouldn't have both.

And we could if we joined forces with the Ledby band.

Now's not the time, Norman. It's never the time.

Bill Butch came to see me last night when he came to see a few of us.

We're sick of being rivals, Les.

Is this true?

I'm sorry, I need the toilet too.

So, that's that Johnny, is it?

Well, he can see why I should be smitten.

He has a look of Tyrone power.

You mean Zorro?

Yeah, that's him.

Imagine that Johnny in a mask and a big black cape.

What woman could resist a man like that?

Brandishing his rapier.

Well, I'm not working, so we could go for a drive, if you like.

Or stay in.

Listen to records in your room.

I don't think Oscar would like that, and I think he's had enough of a job for

now.

And I think it's just a bit too soon to be going up to my room, Johnny.

Ironic, really.

Here we are, two original thinkers who don't care about convention.

Unable to be our true selves because of the oppressive prejudices of the

bourgeoisie.

So are we going to go for this drive, then?

I love the way you cut straight to the truth.

You're one of the most original thinkers I've ever met.

Come on.

I thought it could be just nerves, you know, with the competition tomorrow.

Your wife did right to fetch me. I'll need the names and addresses of everyone

who've gone home.

But what do you think it could be, nurse?

Maybe a bug?

Look, with so many people all at once, it's more likely to be food poisoning.

Poisoning?

Nurse Cassidy needs an ambulance at the village hall.

What's happened? Bill Bodge has nobbled my band. That's what's happened. He's...

He's poisoned them.

I said maybe he's been poisoned. I didn't say someone had poisoned them. Of

course I didn't, Jo. What a stupid... Well, it's possible, though, isn't it?

that someone was trying to kill the band, but just put them out of the

competition. I suppose so, but... It's more like a big bad batch of eggs or

something.

I love your hair.

It's like a mermaid.

Say it in French.

Comme une sirène.

La sirène au vent.

I'd really like to kiss you, Dawn.

That would be all right.

Go on, then.

My idea.

How bad is the diarrhea and sickness?

Bad enough to put the Edenfield band out of the competition.

Nurse Cassidy has nine down with it. She's making us a list.

And Norman Taylor's in the hospital.

Still unconscious the last time I checked.

If Bill Budge did nobble the opposition, it's a criminal act.

Well, we know he visited members of Leather's band last night.

He took them home through. Maybe we should send it to be analysed. Good

And gather up what remains of the rehearsal tea. Send that as well.

The tea?

Do you think Bill Budge might have got it at the refreshment?

I don't know, but these two are at daggers drawn. I wouldn't put anything

either of them. Nor me.

Les may be paranoid, but Bill Budge is too smooth, so I... Well, let's base our

conclusions on the evidence, shall we? No hunches.

Get everything tested, then talk to Bill Budge.

We need to put an end to this feud.

Let's bottle the competition, I reckon.

Couldn't face us beating him again.

Who isn't in your own band, though? How low can you get?

We've taken samples of the beer you delivered to certain players last night.

My home brew?

Are you saying I... I don't have time for this.

There's a competition to win tomorrow and packing this van is a fine art.

off the first light and that's no time to be struggling with a tube.

We'd also like to check if there's any dangerous chemicals.

This is ridiculous.

Haven't you got any proper criminals to catch?

Phil!

Deal with Mr Heverway, will you?

Drive on, please, sir.

Why haven't you arrested him? He's part of my band.

I did remind you that you're already under caution.

Move on.

Hey, Nora.

Bill told you about his new lady lover, see?

Everybody's talking.

Ignore him.

You take that back, you liar. Can I just ask you to go and say please, sir?

No!

Please, sir!

I'll deal with this.

That's it, go on, run away.

You're not such a big man now, are you? Right.

You're coming with us.

Get in the back of the car.

Right, that's the list of people taken sick.

Now, I've checked with the hospital about Norman Taylor.

Recovering, I trust?

Unfortunately not.

He's in a coma.

His sodium levels are dangerously low.

From a bout of diarrhoea? Mr Taylor's on diuretics for his high blood pressure.

Now, his wife says he's been taken a double dose.

One's good for me, two must be better. But it stripped his body of minerals,

the sudden diarrhoea's put him into crisis.

It's touch and go.

You accepted a caution.

You undertook to keep away from Bill Budge. He poisoned my band, but you

believe that.

You just think butter will melt. We're investigating.

And if there's the smallest piece of evidence, we'll deal with it. Us, not

How much more am I supposed to let him take?

Nora, the cop, the band?

And now he's even got Brenda.

He's having an affair with your wife?

Oh, I know the signs. I've seen some before.

Little things that don't add up.

Mysterious phone calls.

I followed her last week and I saw she went into his house.

Well, did you ask her about it?

Do you really think I want to see that look on their faces?

I know I'm going to have to do that, but, well, I thought... I thought I'd do

after the competition.

The competition.

Your marital situation isn't police business.

Acts of violence are.

But I'm going to give you one last chance.

Joe.

You go home, you stay away from Bill, or I'll throw the book at you.

Pat that licked the cream.

Hey, has he swept you off your feet, love?

Big news, Peggy. Big, big news.

Me and Johnny are moving to Paris on Monday.

Hello?

He's not come home yet.

He rang.

Oh, he's best by himself when he's like this.

It's OK.

If we hold on, it'll all work out just fine.

Hey, can I have some off -sales?

A bottle of Scotch, that's all.

Oh, come on. We're mates.

I've gone through both lists.

The people who are sick and the ones who got the homebrew, they just don't

match.

It could all just be a coincidence, but... But you're off duty, and I'm

you stupid.

Sorry.

Tell you what.

The rest of the evening, whatever I suggest, you have to say yes.

So, coffee at your place?

Yeah.

What's there?

you're looking at.

Oh, that sucks.

Nora?

Nora, where's the minibus?

I looked under chairs.

I looked under tables.

In uniform, eh?

I've just had a call out.

I've got to go.

Oh, there's tea in the pot.

I'm looking for David, love. We've got a nice little house to clear us over at

Shen's still. Oh, uh, David's got a fair and Bernie's collecting a body.

I mean, attending the deceased.

I've got in trouble for that before, but nicely, though. I'll miss Bernie when

I'm gone.

Oh, he's still going, then?

You like this Johnny, don't you? Peggy, he's amazing. I'm so excited.

We're going on Monday. Well, as soon as I can get my money out the post office.

Hey, Dawn.

You know, I'm a bit envious.

Why? You could go to Paris if you wanted.

No.

It's not where you're going.

It's how you're feeling.

I remember what that was like.

I'm happy for you.

But... Don't. Oh, I knew there'd be a but.

Look, there's no need.

Oscar's already been on at me and you should have heard me answer Gina on the

phone last night.

Well, she's bound to be concerned.

I mean, she's in local thingy, isn't she?

Parental. She said that boys like Johnny don't settle down with girls who work

in pubs. Like I'm common or something.

Oh, I'm sure she didn't mean that. Well, it sounded like she did.

She hasn't even met Johnny and she's already made her mind up about him.

He thinks I'm special.

And you are special.

And if Johnny thinks that, he won't mind waiting. I don't want to wait.

It was instant, Peggy.

It's the real thing.

Well, that's lovely.

And if it is the real thing, it won't go away, you know.

You could wait till the Auntie Gina gets back. Put her mind at rest.

Yeah.

These are the bands.

Well, that's that then. No competition.

Are you sure the minibus was locked?

Of course it was.

Come on, Constable, you know who did this.

You went back to Bill's last night.

A neighbour saw you.

After I gave you a chance.

I was drunk.

I didn't knock at the house and I didn't attack him.

I don't remember throwing the bottle.

I was angry, but...

If you say I did, I won't argue.

I didn't take the minibus.

I just came home.

What time?

I don't know.

Bran? Don't look at me.

I was in bed, he passed out on the couch.

This witness, P .C. Mason, did they actually see who drove the minibus away?

Unfortunately not.

My husband...

Sometimes does daft things, but he doesn't lie.

If he says he didn't take it, he didn't. You can't arrest him with no evidence.

We're having the instruments checked for fingerprints.

We'll do the same with the minibus when it turns up.

I will be back.

Oh, Les.

How did we get to this?

Well...

You let Bill Bodge steal your heart.

If you want to do something useful, the shed roof needs mending.

There's no point in moping round the house all day.

Oh,

hello, Oscar.

Mr Blaketon, Dawn had told me your concerns and those of Mrs Bellamy.

Of course you know.

I completely understand, of course.

We'll delay our departure.

I want you both to be entirely confident that I have this wonderful girl of the

best interest at heart.

He's booked the tickets as well. I'll show you.

See? The dates can be changed, no problem.

We're going to go upstairs and listen to some music.

Slimy little code.

I thought you'd have left.

Bad phone.

After such a good night.

It was, wasn't it?

Look, you'd better put some clothes on.

I think distracting a police officer might be an offence.

Yeah.

You and Carol had a thing going, didn't you?

We did, yeah.

But, well, it all got a bit too intense.

This won't, will it?

No.

You're not usually here on a Saturday.

No.

Morning, Sergeant Dawson.

I'll just... Yeah, yeah, right.

The hospital just phoned. I thought you should know at once.

Norman Taylor died half an hour ago.

Oh, my diaphragm.

Oui, oui.

Bien sûr.

I love you.

I love you.

Johnny, no.

I don't understand, no.

The field test results won't be back until Monday or Tuesday, but it looks

the homebrew and the rehearsal are fine.

They couldn't have made anyone else. So what made them sick, what killed Norman

Taylor, was just a random bug?

I was sure they'd find salmonella or something.

I mean, nobody but the band were ill, and it came in all at once.

Is there anything you didn't test?

I was as thorough as I could be.

To be honest, there wasn't a great deal left.

There wouldn't be.

Everybody loves Brenda's cakes.

So it wouldn't be unusual for everything to be eaten?

No. Normal, I'd say.

Whoever contaminated the food must have known that.

They knew they could dose up one of Brenda's specialities and there'd be

left for us to test. It's a workable theory, but it doesn't tell us who. No,

I do know where to start looking.

So you're on this case now, are you?

No.

I'm just poking my nose in, actually.

Please don't go.

There's no need.

It's just you were moving a little bit too fast for me, that's all.

But once we're in Paris... You really think I'd take you to Paris?

You're a bet, Dawn.

I bet Marcus 20 quid I could crack you by Saturday night.

Nearly did, too.

You said I was special. You even bought two tickets.

For me and Marcus.

We're going Monday.

Barrett is for sophisticated women, Dawn.

Not northern scrubbers.

Get out.

Someone called mine when Mama said you'd pay her in love. No, you just have to

wait. She said love won't come easy.

It's a game of give and take. You'll pay her in love. No, you just have to wait.

You've got to trust.

Give it time. No matter how long it takes. You want to be there, but I'll

for you.

No, I don't need your husband.

It's your company, Brenda.

You see, I've worked out how the band got sick.

It was clever.

I don't know what you mean.

I hear your cherry bakewells are a bit of a legend around here.

Do you do macaroons?

I like a macaroon.

What has this got to do with anything?

Must have seemed like a good idea.

Put something in the rehearsal refreshment. Make sure that Les's band

the competition.

Why would I want to hurt the band?

After all the effort my husband's put into it.

I think you sacrificed your husband's band for your boyfriend.

We know you're having an affair with Bill Budge.

Maybe it wasn't you.

Maybe you didn't even know.

Did Bill come around while you were baking?

Could he have flipped something into the cake mix?

This is ridiculous.

I want you to go. We're having the leftovers, Anna.

We'll have the test results tomorrow, though I'm pretty confident I know what

they'll show.

None of this would matter quite so much, of course, if Norman Taylor hadn't

died.

What?

Sorry, didn't I say?

Yeah, he passed away an hour or so ago.

So it might be a murder charge.

More likely manslaughter.

For you, Bill, or whoever I find out is ultimately to blame.

I don't think you intended to kill Norman.

This was all about the band, wasn't it?

Oh, go, please.

Just go.

We have to meet.

Usual place.

Now.

Norman Taylor's died.

That policeman's worked out what we did.

I'm crazy for thinking that my love will hold you.

I'm crazy for thinking that my love will hold you.

I'm crazy for thinking that my love will hold you. I'm crazy for thinking that

my love will hold you.

I'm crazy for thinking that my love will hold you. I'm crazy for thinking that

my love will hold you.

How long will it take?

Dawn!

Blimey. She's halfway up the Shanzi lazy already.

Dawn!

I'm sorry, Peggy.

Dawn.

Dawn.

Lovey.

He said I was a scrubber.

What's the French for ignorant pig?

Delta Alpha 2 -4 requesting backup.

I'm just past Bill Budge's house. Over.

I don't know what to do.

It was you two.

I can't tell you how sorry we are.

A man is dead.

We never meant to hurt anyone.

Brenda and me have been friends for a long while now, but we could never meet,

not even for a coffee in town because of this stupid feud.

The bands take everything.

All our husband's attention.

All their energy.

So you decided to poison them?

Not poison.

We put Senna in the bakewells and Lobelia in the almond shortcake. Lobelia

you throw up.

We never meant anyone to be seriously hurt. We just...

Wanted them out of action.

I took the minibus. We planned it together.

Brenda followed in her car.

We were only going to hide the instruments till after the competition.

me. I lost my temper.

I threw one into a field and it fell slow.

I don't regret it.

But Norman... It's terrible about Norman.

Brenda Hippo -White, Nora Budge.

I'm arresting you both in suspicion of manslaughter.

Brenda? Brenda?

Why would Brenda be here? Get out, you.

This is between me and him.

Go on.

Brenda?

Where is she?

She's not here.

These two are under arrest.

Control to Alpha Alpha 2 -4.

Come in, please. Right.

In the car, please.

Delta Alpha 2 -4 receiving. Over.

Yeah, well, thanks for letting me know.

Poor kid.

I'll have that boy's guts for garter if he shows his face around here again.

Now, you will be gentle with her.

Of course I will.

I'm not an ogre.

I'm just glad she had someone to talk to with Gina away. It's not been easy.

I must admit.

I'm surprised it was you.

Can you open the door, please?

This is the police!

Stay in the car.

Don't talk, please!

Right, wait here. Don't move.

He deserved it.

He ruined my life.

Look, put the armour down, lads.

I know for a fact that Bill isn't responsible for anything that's happened

the past few days.

It was your wife working together.

They're sick of all this fighting.

I don't believe you. Nora wouldn't do that to me.

Come on.

Be sensible.

Just put the hammer down.

Get him.

Cut him.

Cut him.

Let's see what a mess you've made.

Made?

Right. Your wives have got something to say and for once you're going to listen.

You don't have to work tonight, Dawn, if you don't feel up to it. But I'm fine,

honestly. I'm not going to let him ruin my night.

Benny, what can I get you?

The usual.

When is it we're off to Gay Paris, then?

I've only asked.

Yes, well, I'll explain later.

What will happen to us?

It's hard to say.

None of the band members are pressing charges about the lack of...

One of them said that if she was married to Bill or Les, that she'd have put

something in their tea long ago.

I've just come off the phone to Norman Taylor's wife.

She's upset, of course.

But she acknowledges the part that he played in this tragedy.

He should never have changed his dose of diuretics.

Had he been healthy, what you did wouldn't have killed him.

So she's not going to proceed against you.

You mean we're in the clear?

It's not that simple, I'm afraid. A man's dead.

Charges have to be answered.

But with Mrs Taylor's willingness to forgive, I doubt it'll mean a custodial

sentence.

Oh, God.

You'll be up before the magistrates in the morning.

As long as you're awake.

Oh, I'm sorry, love.

I just thought that you and Bill were... No.

I was just scared I'd lost you.

And I thought I'd lost you.

To the band.

We'll be all right.

We will.

What's going on in there, then?

Well, the bands have joined forces. Les and Bill have been voted out. And

Millie, darling. Millie?

Taking over as leader.

Liz and Bill won't like it.

Mind you, I expect they've got more important things on their minds.

Three pints, please, Dawn.

You all right, Dawn?

Not really, Geoff, no.

Well, if you want to talk about anything, you know I'm always here.

I've got you a pint in. I owe you one.

You're right.

Small arguments lead to big trouble.

Don't think I know what I'm doing.

I'll be back in a minute.

Hi.

Look, um, about this morning... There's really nothing to say, Joe.

I'm not sure that's true.

You're a free agent. It's not as if we made any promises or anything like that.

Yeah, I know, but you don't seem very comfortable with it.

Why is it that men think they're the most important thing in a woman's life?

We had a nice time.

Wasn't going anywhere.

Still isn't.

All right.