Original subtitles

Channel 19. Five more minutes, Chrissy, then bedtime.

Oh, wait.

First I'm going inside the lines. I've got to go to bed.

Chrissy, a tip. Mom's a sucker for cute.

Trust me, it never fails.

Take this to your room and get started on your homework.

Gadzooks, Mom.

I can't move. You are one beautiful woman.

Hustle, mister.

And you got Zeus's wrong.

Mom, quick, I'm late for a date and I don't have a clean shirt. Oh, Mike,

been over this more times than I care to remember. You do your own laundry.

Mom, are you getting younger?

Younger? I mean, all I can say is holy moly.

Take your dad's shirt.

Oh, always a good one. Why not? Oh, yes.

Thank you, Mom.

Holy moly was a nice touch. Oh, thanks.

You know,

like the kind of guy who would enjoy a good bedtime story.

How about Mr.

Mouse Finds a Home?

Oh, well, I'm sorry, Chrissy, but Mr.

Mike found a blonde.

Hey, listen, where's Carol? I mean, maybe she can read you a story.

She's out on a date.

No, really, where is she?

It's true.

Oh, well, finally proof that Bigfoot lives.

He does?

Will you take me to meet him? No, no, no, Chrissy, I'm kidding. It was just a

joke.

Long book, Mike.

And the print's pretty big.

I'm sorry, Christy, but you can't keep a blonde waiting.

You invited her over.

Most women love Mr.

Mouse. Sorry, Christy, but I can't. I gotta go. See ya.

six -foot mouse before.

What do you mean come to Jersey?

Oh!

Show me that smile.

Show me that smile.

Don't waste the night.

full time tonight.

Carol, you are the first girl I've met who doesn't mind going out in a garbage

truck.

Is this a garbage truck?

You want to pull the lever again?

No, it's too noisy.

Would you like to come in for some coffee?

Sure.

I don't want coffee.

Neither do I.

having a picnic?

Me and my friend.

Uh, what's your name?

Ike.

Who's Ike? Where is this kid?

What? He almost stepped on his tail.

Tail? Yeah, Ike's the mouse.

Little babe's bonkers.

One more crack like that, he'll bite you on the neck.

Norman, just ignore her. She's just a little... Beer?

What is beer doing out here?

makes the cheese go down smooth.

Chrissy, I don't want to hear any more nonsense about this invisible mouse.

You don't see him? No. He's staring at you.

Boys, he's staring at you.

You know, Carol, maybe we should call tonight.

Will I see you again?

Tuesdays and Thursdays. Be on the curve.

Uh -huh.

I said not to worry. He'd like to take a baby out like you sometimes.

letting an imaginary mouse have a beer. Good night. What?

Carol, come back.

Say what you said again?

Chrissy was outside letting an imaginary mouse have a beer.

So I thought you said... Don't worry.

I poured the beer out and put Chrissy to bed.

So you handled it? Yeah.

And you're welcome.

Carol, if you handle it, why are you waking us up?

Well, she ruined my date, so I wanted to ruin your evening.

That's another thing, by the way, about this date.

usually get to meet the guy first?

Well, you have.

Every Tuesday and Thursday, on the curb.

Are you dating our garbage man?

Jason, Norman isn't just a garbage man. He's a professional bodybuilder who

likes poetry, quiet walks, women who listen, and shellfish.

What's going on around here while I'm at work?

Dad, forget my date. Your younger daughter is hallucinating.

you talking about?

Don't you think hallucinate's a bit strong?

I don't think so.

After her mouse drove Norman away, he was checking me out.

Whose imagination are we dealing with here?

Bud Collier.

Excuse me? That was my imaginary friend.

I'd call your member, big game show host, all the big shows of the 50s to

the truth, beat the clock. Jason, I know who he was.

Yeah, when I was Christy's age, I'd pretend he'd come over to visit.

Used to guess my occupation.

Got it right every time.

Good night, sweetheart.

Well? Well, what?

Well, who is your imaginary friend? Oh, Jason, it's late.

Well, come on, Maggie. We've been married all these years. You've never

who your imaginary friend is, and I know everything about you, including that

mole on your inner right thigh.

I don't have a mole on my inner right thigh.

Oh, okay.

Jason! I'm just kidding, Maggie. Come on.

Anything to be ashamed of, having an imaginary friend.

Studies show that almost all creative people have had one. Well, I didn't.

Maybe a friend is too strong a word. Maybe it's just an imaginary person that

you talk to. No.

A plant? No. Maybe an animal. Have you ever had an ant farm, Mary?

Jason, just save it. I fail to see how talking to a game show host makes one

creative. Oh, well, come on to the covers, and I'll show you what you want.

I prefer to see what's behind door number two.

Hey bud, where were we when we saw that mole?

all the tea?

No, after you.

Hi, sweetheart. How are you doing this morning?

I'm great.

What would you like for breakfast, Chrissy?

Oatmeal, egg, toast, pancakes, waffles, bread. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Is that Chrissy or Ben?

I think it's all for me.

Who are you talking to? What?

You almost smushed him.

I almost smushed him.

Sorry about that, Ike. Shall we sit there?

Oh, I get it. This is Ike. Hey, Ike. How you doing?

Maggie, say hello to Ike.

Oh, how do you do, Ike? I'm not very comfortable with this.

Ike says, holy moly, you look so young.

Oh, well, a woman never gets tired of hearing that from a rodent.

Oh, Ike, you like my blouse?

Well, I think it's... Brings out the highlights in my hair. Thank you. You

very nice mouth.

Mom. Huh?

Went to the bathroom.

Oh, the bathroom.

Did you flush the toilet?

Yes. Stop asking me that.

Ike's chair.

Ike? He's here for breakfast.

Not now, he's in the bathroom.

Okay, honey, I'll call you when your breakfast... I'll call you when Ike when

your breakfast is ready.

Are you really going to cook him breakfast?

Of course not. He's imaginary.

Well, I just didn't know how far you'd go to humor the little nut bar.

Did you know your daughter's in the driveway talking to herself?

No, she's talking to her imaginary friend.

Imaginary friend?

Yeah, like you and Pirate Sam.

Pirate Sam wasn't real?

He was to you, and then you outgrew him, Ben.

He told me he had to ship out.

I gotta go lay down.

Jason, Pissy is doing an awful lot of talking out there.

Okay, bud, what are we gonna do about the wife?

Okay, okay, I know I've got nothing to worry about.

Well, if anybody needs me, I'll be sitting on the curb with trash.

Maggie, Chrissy knows the difference between real and pretend. If she didn't,

then we'd have to worry.

Do we have any imported beer?

For Ike?

Yeah. Forget it.

Sorry, Ike. They said something healthy was better for you.

They're worried about my health, yet they're setting traps all over the

don't get it.

Salute.

Well, I'm off. Okay, honey, have a good day. Go forth and cure. Are you all

right? It was a joke.

I was referring to Chrissy and, you know, Ike.

Oh, honey, you reminded me we've been through all this before. There's

absolutely nothing to worry about.

Bye -bye, honey. Have a nice day.

I will, dear.

Okay, Chrissy, time for school.

Oh, no, you're leaving me?

Mom, Ike's not going to have anyone to play with.

He won't.

Well, um, maybe, um... Well, maybe Ike would like to come with you.

Ike, do you want to go to school with me? Oh, yes!

We'd love to go.

Wonderful.

See, I can handle this.

And my other children turned out perfectly normal.

You just take my trash and leave?

I feel so used.

Oh, what a nice neighborhood.

We like it.

We like what, honey?

What, is he deaf?

Sometimes.

Sometimes what? Tell her to forget it.

Forget it, Mom.

Okay.

Want to sing a song, Ike? Yeah, you pick.

What's a good song?

How about Hickory Dickory Dock?

Look, I refuse to sing a song about a wee little mouse who's afraid of a

tick -tock.

Next.

How about The Farmer in the Dell?

What was wrong with Hickory Dickory Dock?

Okay, and when we get to the part about the rat takes the cheese, in honor of

the brothers, I'd like to make it a mouth.

You got it.

And the farmer in the delt. A little louder. The farmer in the delt. How are

dairy of the farmer in the delt?

Can I join you guys?

Sure. The mouse takes the cheese. The rat takes the cheese.

Hi -ho, the dairy of the rat takes the cheese.

Am I doing it wrong?

shared with you how he felt about rats.

You know, she hates me. This happens to me all the time. It's tough being a

rodent American.

Sweetheart, do you know the difference between really real and make -believe?

Of course I do.

Make -believe is Batman.

Right.

Maggie, is everything all right?

Of course.

I mean, what do you ask?

Well, just from the way you were looking at Chrissy. No, there's nothing wrong

with Chrissy. She is perfectly normal.

I know.

I mean, she is normal, right?

I mean, not that I need to hear that from you. I mean, I can see that she's

normal. You're a good parent. You're just a teacher. No, no, no.

Would you like to come to the share circle and discuss these things?

Oh, no, thanks, Sally. I really have to be going.

I'm here. Has Chrissy been doing anything or talking about anything, uh,

outside?

Let me think.

Well, she did trade her peanut butter sandwich for a cheese sandwich the other

day.

Is something worrying you?

What's taking you to Fountain Town?

Oh, no, I... Nothing. I have... I have nothing to worry about.

No mention, say, of a six -foot mouse named Ike?

No.

But she has been talking about a six -foot mouse?

No.

Oh, well.

See you later today, then.

Sally, do you think having an imaginary friend is harmful?

Well, that depends.

Who's your imaginary friend?

Not me.

Chrissy. She's got an imaginary friend. That's wonderful.

It is? Well, sure, it's a great sign of creativity.

I've heard.

And it can sometimes fill a need in their life that they're too young to

articulate. What's my mom so upset about? Do any of you guys know?

But her problem is she traveled by her yoke alone.

Maybe she isn't getting enough attention.

Maybe somebody's ignoring her.

Have you got an Ike in the family?

No, we've got a Ben and we've got a Carol and we've got a Mike.

What'd you say?

Nothing.

I think you're going to like this.

She's getting weird.

I like it.

Mike, thanks again for staying home to watch Christmas. Oh, hey, thank you for

paying me in advance.

And if you and Chrissy are having fun together tonight, she can stay up a

later. You know, 8, 9, 10, midnight.

Whatever. Why isn't Carol babysitting? She's got another date with the garbage

man. She does?

Yeah. Don't be surprised, Benny. Those guys take out trash for a living.

He is fun to watch.

The best.

Lucy, I'm home.

Okay, Mike, you keep an eye on Christy. Okay, Mom, sure will. And Ben, go away.

Whoa, don't you look nice. What's the occasion?

Well, I am taking you out to dinner.

So let's go, let's go, let's go. What's the occasion?

Do we have to stand here and play 20 questions? Can't we just go out and

celebrate the joy of loving each other? Okay.

Now wipe that stupid look off your face and let's move it. Hello, I had a few

things, just odds and ends that I tracked down at the office today, you

when I had some spare time.

Just some research about imaginary friends. You might find it kind of

reassuring.

Great.

What are you doing?

Oh, you're right, you're right. We can use the bat.

For scratch paper.

No, baby, come on. I was trying to ease your mind, and I come home to discover

you're not worried at all. What's the matter with you?

Honey, would you feel better if I got all weepy?

No, that's not what I'm after.

I don't want you all weak and needy. Oh, sweetheart, I can't do anything right

today. I made a fool out of myself with Chrissy's teacher, and all I want to do

is take you to dinner.

Honey, we can go to dinner.

Really?

Yes. Oh, good, let's go.

You can take a look at these. It deserves them.

Oh, whoa, whoa, Chris, I can hear you all the way downstairs. What are you

doing? It was Ike's idea.

Oh, yeah, Mom told me about Ike. Uh -oh. Now, listen, now, you better tell Ike

that if he doesn't want to get in trouble, that... Get him. I'll tell him

myself. Where is he?

Right over there.

Okay. Hey, Ike. Yeah?

Don't jump on the bed.

There. I hope I wasn't too rough on him. He had it coming.

Mike, you want to play with us?

Yeah. Yeah, sure. What are you guys playing?

What do you want to play?

Uh, I kind of like Tea Party.

Tea Party? Sure.

Sounds good to me.

Hey!

Chill out, Ike. Yeah, chill out, Ike. All right, set him up and I'll have two

lumps. Yeah, I'd like to give him two lumps.

Ike, sit down and stop being a baby. I don't...

that way.

Nothing worse than a mouse with an attitude.

Boy, this coffee's hot.

It's tea.

And in the glow of the fire of the burning mousetraps,

Mr. Mouse realized he had nothing to fear ever again.

Finally, the years of wandering were over. He was home at last.

The end.

Whoa, whoa, good story.

Yeah? What is it? Our noses?

Aw, kind of cute stuff, will ya?

You don't look like, but you're both funny. I like playing with you guys.

Yeah, well, I like playing with you too, Chrissy.

You do?

Yeah. Don't sound so shocked. I mean, I don't do it all the time. It's, well,

sometimes I like playing with the big girls too.

Like last night?

Right. You know, just so you know, I would have babysat you for free tonight.

Really? Ooh, big hero.

Hey, Chrissy, tomorrow I'm going to wax my cut. You want to help me?

Really? Oh, yeah.

Oh, this is boring.

You bet. 7 o 'clock sharp, a .m.

You're getting up that early?

No, you are. I need the car by 8 .30 so I can take you to breakfast.

All right.

Okay.

All right, all right, under the covers. Here you go.

Okay.

Take that, Goldilocks.

See you in the morning.

You were so rudely interrupted.

Ike, it's bedtime.

Oh, bedtime's for losers. Come on, let's party.

I'm helping Mike early in the morning, remember?

Oh, so you're saying you'd rather detail Mike's car tomorrow than to play with

me now?

Ike, I gotta go to sleep.

Oh, fine.

Okay. Well, I wanted to play tea party by myself anyway.

I'm a grown mouth.

So you put this all together at Chrissy's school?

No, it just started there, but it does make sense.

Chrissy does have this hero worship thing for Mike.

Yeah, that's true.

So maybe if they spend more time together, she won't need Ike. Honey, I

pull professional rank on you, but I doubt if one evening together is going

make any difference with Ike.

Yeah, says you.

Did you say something?

Growing Pains will be right back.