Original subtitles

A six -letter word for extreme dislike.

Maggie, I hate crossword puzzles.

As much today as when we first got married. No, no, hate isn't strong

I loathe them.

Loathe, that's it?

Don't mention it.

Okay, the Indian sidekick of TV's Yancey Derringer. No. 11 -11. No, no, no, no,

no.

Pahukatiwa. That means wolf who stands in water.

And you would know these things if you didn't spend all day on crossword

puzzles.

I got a part! I got a part! I got a part!

Ben, calm down. What are you talking about?

The high school play that Carol's Drama Club is doing.

I just went to the auditions with her, and they needed a kid, and I got the

part. Oh, congratulations, Pumpkin. It is quite a coup, Ben, getting into the

high school play from the sixth grade.

Want to hear my part?

Wait, let me get comfortable.

Yep, yep. Okay, me too.

Here we go.

Morning.

Do you want your paper now?

Well?

That was terrific, Ben.

Oh, yeah. And I haven't even had any rehearsals yet either. Just wait.

I don't know if I can.

Morning, do you want your paper now?

Morning, do you want your paper now?

Sweetheart, what's wrong?

The drama club auditions today were a complete disaster.

Not only did I not get the lead, because Monica Shackleford called in a few

favors, leaving me with a crummy little inky -dinky part. And now the whole show

is... Take a breath, Karen.

Ruined.

Why? Why?

He goes, who do you think got the romantic lead?

A star is born.

Let's face it, Kira, I was the best person who auditioned for the part.

Mike, you were the only person.

What about Joey Scuffingerio?

Joey Scuffingerio auditioned in a full -body cast.

Okay, who was the best person for the part who didn't have to be carried on

stage?

See, she doesn't care one iota about this play.

Yeah, Mike, since when did you get interested in school plays?

Or school period.

I found out Monica Shackelford was the leading lady.

Oh.

Monica who?

Monica Draws a Crowder and Jim Shorts' Shackleford.

Oh, yes, yes, Monica.

Healthy young adult.

Mike, if you're going to get involved in something like a school play, you

should be doing it for yourself, not for some girl. This isn't right.

It's true, Mike.

Dad, you have not seen Monica.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah.

No, if you're just doing this to get next to some girl, that certainly isn't

fair to the other kids who really care about the play.

Oh, come on, Dad. It's just acting. I mean, any fool can do that. You just put

some goop on your face and you say some junk that some stupid writer wrote.

Stupid writer? Mike, this is Our Town by Thornton Wilder. An American genius.

Oh, it's got big words. Big deal.

Emily, I'm going to make up my mind right now.

I won't go.

I'll tell Pa about it tonight.

Why, George, I don't see why you have to... Paul, what are you doing?

I'm helping you learn your part.

Just stick to your lines, okay?

Boy, George, I don't see why you have to decide right now.

Boners playing Emily?

How perfect.

Oh, yeah? Well, I can think of a lot of uglier leading ladies, Carol.

Yeah.

Wait, I don't think I like that.

Come on, I want Monica to think that I have done some work on this, okay?

You know, maybe this motor just plays stuff than just getting to wear makeup

tights. What are you kidding? I have got the hottest hooter right at Dewey High

coming to my house tonight. This acting stuff is great.

Uh, Emily, from my window up there, I can just see your head nights when

doing your homework.

Why, can you?

Uh, yeah, you certainly do stick to it, Emily. I guess you must like school.

Mike, use what you're feeling.

Uh, you mean like what I'm feeling right now?

Yeah, go with the moment.

See, where were we?

It passes the time.

Well,

Emily, what do you think?

We might work out a kind of telegraph from your window to mine, and once in a

while, you could give me a kind of hint or two about one of those, uh...

That was great!

Thank you.

No, I mean, you were so into character, you just forgot the words. and kissed

me.

Spontaneously. Yeah, that's what I did, all right.

That is a wonderful use of your instrument.

Uh, well, um, listen, I gotta warn you, this may happen again.

Oh, no, because it's not in...

Hey, how about we go over that kissing scene one more time? We don't have our

script. Well, we can fake it.

Kind of late for a school night, isn't it?

Uh, yeah, yeah, but, um, listen, I was not having fun. I was rehearsing with

Monica. Carol and Ben got home two hours ago.

Well, not all rehearsing takes place in that auditorium.

Well, where did this one take place?

Uh, well, where really isn't important, Dad.

See, what's important is that we explored the subtext and the internal

of the... Where, Mike?

In my car.

Mike, I don't know, but don't you suppose maybe you and Monica are

little too much time exploring the subtext and not quite enough time on the

text?

Huh?

Well, Carol says you haven't even memorized your lines yet.

Come on, Mike, don't you want to try?

Wouldn't you like to be really good at something?

There's more to life, Mike, than making time with girls.

Oh, come on, Dad. Monica and I have not even been out on a date yet.

You've been with her every night for the past two weeks.

Dad, I certainly do not call parking with a girl on a lonely dirt road a

Uh, I was... Yesterday, I was waiting for you over by the wall, and, um,

you... You walked home.

You walked home, and you really should know that... That's it, Seaver.

Read my lips.

We open tomorrow night.

There are going to be a thousand people filling these seats.

A thousand people?

That's right, Shucklehead.

Maybe you don't mind them laughing at you, but I certainly don't want them

laughing at me.

I'm a sensitive artist.

All right.

Everybody take five.

Look, Seaver, I'm sorry I yelled at you, but I've been a little bit nervous.

I never directed a play before.

And there's a lot of people on the Hooter faculty that like to see the old

fall on his keister with this one.

They think I got no business messing with the arts.

But I'm going to prove them wrong.

Give it all you got, kid.

A thousand people.

Emily, if I do improve and make a big change, then would you be...

I mean, could you be... There, how was that?

You've never been better.

I'm dead. I'm two hours away from total public humiliation and... and

everybody's right. I'm a goof -off, a bozo, and a loser.

Hey, who isn't?

Well, if we should leave soon, we have to be backstage, like Saturday. No, we

don't have to leave for another five... Ugh.

Oh, funny, Mike. Real funny.

But we'll see who's laughing tonight.

Oh, Bone, how did I get myself into this?

You're stupid.

What are you so calm for, you know? I mean, if there's anyone who's worse off

than me, it's you.

It's always you.

Eh, eh, eh, not this time.

What? Hey, I was just scared to forget my lines, too. Then I came up with my

brilliant plan.

Huh. See this?

I got all my lines recorded on it. So if I forget them, all I have to do is play

the tape real loud and move my lips to it. I got the idea from watching Putin

the hits.

What do you think? You know, Bone, you get more and more strange every year.

Thank you.

I don't know if I could go on if I was hurt or something.

Hey, hey, that's it.

Bone, oh, oh, great.

Okay, just as we're starting to leave, I'm going to fall down the stairs and

fake a broken leg. Yeah, Bone, you'll be my witness, okay? What do you think?

Well, I don't have to tell you that when Russ came, I had bought a selection.

Oh, would you turn that thing off? I'll mail for it at the age of 21.

Women's vote is a wreck.

Boner, is your voice coming from your armpit? Yeah.

Hey, meet you in the car, okay? Okay.

Good luck, Boner. Hey, I don't need luck.

Mike, before you leave, we just wanted you to know that we love you and we're

not expecting much.

Maybe. No, no, no, I didn't mean that. I just meant, don't despair. A miracle

could happen.

No, wait.

We're behind you, Mike.

As soon as you step out on that stage, you won't have time to be nervous.

All that'll matter is those hundreds of people sitting in the audience, hanging

on your every word.

Mike,

look, before we completely undermine your confidence, I want you to know your

mom and I are going to be there. We're going to be rooting for you.

Well, see, I don't know, Dad. See, just now when I was coming down the stairs, I

couldn't... Mike, you have to go!

Carol, I just want you to know... I know you're proud of me, but the truth is,

it's a thinking little part, and you're only going because you think you have to

go, so let's go.

Let me go get dressed. We don't want to be late.

See you after the show, Mike.

Uh, speaking of the show, you know, I don't know. I just kind of, um... Hey,

Ben! Morning. Do you want your paper now?

Morning.

Break a leg, Mike.

last -minute blocking changes here for you, okay?

Uh, Richie, page 17, I want you to head out towards the trellis there and button

hook right.

Carol, I want you to lead the schoolchildren in a wedge up the middle

clearing the whole left side for Debbie and Shelly's entrance.

You got that?

and act your fannies off, okay?

Four minutes and 20 seconds!

Four minutes and 20 seconds!

Uh, yo, yo, Barry, my man.

What? Uh, listen, you've been to all the rehearsals, right? So you probably know

everybody's part by heart.

Why? Well, um, I'm just curious.

Oh. So this means that you could probably, like, go on for any of us,

say, me, if, like, at the last minute there was some... I guess that's to

Steven makes his debut with the Dewey Grease Paint Society after appearances

Airwolf, Kiwi's Playhouse, and the Cosby Show?

All actors lie about their credits.

Jason, what's the penalty for setting off a false fire alarm?

What? Don't worry about Mike making a false fire alarm sound.

Honey, there's no need to disrupt the play with any false fire alarms.

I'm fully prepared to faint.

of the town is Grower's Corner in New Hampshire, just across the Massachusetts

line.

The first act shows a day in our town.

The time is just before dawn.

The sky is beginning to show some...

Some streaks of light over in the east there.

Boom.

The morning star always gets... ...before it has to go, doesn't it?

Well, I better show you how our town lives.

I'm washing on the blue gingham for you special.

But, Mom, I hate that dress.

Oh, hush up with you.

I had her go long there.

Mr. Webb is publisher and editor of the Corner Sentinel.

That's our local paper, you know.

Well, I don't have to tell you that we are run by a board of select

men.

All men board at the age of... of...

So far, we got a hit on our hands.

Screw up and you're a dead man.

Have fun with it.

Hello, Emily.

Hello, Emily.

Oh, hello.

You know, you made a... fine speech in class yesterday.

Well, I was really ready to make a speech about the Monroe Doctrine, but at

last minute, Miss Corcoran made me talk about the Louisiana Purchase instead.

I worked an awful long time on both of them.

You know, I can just see your head nights when you're doing your homework.

Why, can you?

You certainly do stick to it, Emily.

I guess you must like school.

Well, I feel it's something you have to go through.

Yeah.

It passes the time.

You know, Emily, maybe we could work out a kind of telegraph from your window to

mine.

And every once in a while, you could maybe give me a hint or two about one of

those algebra problems.

Not the answer, but just some little hint.

Maggie, he's great.

Well, I think it's awfully important, too.

Emily?

Yes, George?

If I do improve and make a big change, would you be... I mean, could

you be... I am now.

I always have been.

So I guess this is a pretty important talk we've been having.

Yeah.

Yes.

You just wait here a minute and I'll walk you home, okay?

I can't believe it. Was I?

Yeah, and it really gets me tense, too.

Hey,

why were you holding back so much in all the rehearsals? I don't know.

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know.

Mike, um, are you going to the cast party later?

I don't know.

Oh, there's Carol.

Excuse me, but I gotta go take off my freckles.

Bye. Oh, and there's Ben.

Hey, my paper boy.

Oh, gosh, Ben, you were terrific.

Are you kidding?

I messed up.

Oh, really? Well, we didn't notice a thing, right, honey?

No.

Well, I did try to cover.

And you did a masterful job at it.

Oh.

So, uh, where's our other star?

What other star?

Mike, what are you doing out here?

We've been looking all over for you. Hi.

Everybody's talking about you.

You were the hit of the show.

I knew you could do it.

I didn't.

Big night for you, huh?

Yeah, I guess.

What's the matter, Mike?

Can I ask you guys something?

Sure.

Was I really good? Yes.

Yeah. No, I mean really, really good.

Mike, I've never been more proud of you than I am tonight.

It's kind of scary. See, I don't know. I never really felt like this before.

See, I usually don't try that hard at being good at things because, I don't

know, I just don't.

But, I mean, between you and me, on a lot of things, I kind of goof off a

bit.

Wow. Yeah.

See, tonight, it was different.

When I sat down on that stage, I totally forgot that you guys were even out

there and about everything that was going wrong.

I even forgot about Boner's stupid tape recorder.

I just felt like this guy named George in this little town.

It was easy.

Being good at something is fun, Mike.

Is this what you meant all those times that you said that I should find

something that I'm good at and do it?

Kind of.

That was okay, wasn't it?

You should go inside, Mike. There's a lot of people waiting to see you.

You guys go ahead. I need a minute, okay?

I'm Jason Sievert. I'm Mike's father.

Let me get it something.

Oh, no.

While Michael Seaver's portrayal of George certainly pleased the applauding

crowd, he was not the major revelation of this production.

Garbage.

What's the drivel about our son?

Probably somebody who couldn't act if his life depended on it. Yeah.

He's a fool.

He sure is. Listen to this.

The receiver's performance as the paperboy was a fascinating exercise in

of a dramatic pause that held this reviewer riveted to his seat.

Wow, this guy really knows his stuff.