Original subtitles

We're not going to get anywhere until we get past your denial of the problem.

What problem?

You see, that's the only people who say I have a problem are my wife, my kids,

my boss, and those fair -weather friends of mine.

But what does that tell you?

That they got a problem.

All right, see you next week, then.

Sure, but I don't know why.

York Times.

I'm afraid you're overqualified for an entry -level position. Thanks anyway.

Who needs the New York Times? You're just a fish wrapper.

This is Thelma at Channel 19 News.

Mr. Sidlovich is confirming your 3 p .m. interview tomorrow.

TV News. Not bad, Maggie.

This is Thelma again. I'm sorry. We have to cancel that interview.

Fool. That's why you're in TV News.

This is Susan again. How about returning your old boss and calls?

I've got something you'll be very interested in.

All right.

Hey, how'd the interview go?

Well, the editor talked to me for a solid hour.

Well, it sounds as if he liked what he heard. Sounds like a smart guy.

He didn't hire me.

He's scum.

Jason, if I hear one more rejection today, I'm going to scream.

Any messages?

Yeah, well, yes, yes.

Jason?

Bill. Bill called from the New York Times. You came so close. You came very,

very close.

And, uh, Channel 19 called.

Oh, did they confirm my interview?

Yeah. Oh. And no.

What? Well, they had to cancel. Oh. So he's turning me down before he meets me.

Nice. Save everybody time. No, no, no. He just got busy today.

Something about a member of Congress and twin strippers.

I didn't get the details.

Jason, you're so... sick.

Yeah.

Anyway, I saved the best for the last. Wait till you hear.

Susan called, and she has something very... I'll be very interested in. I

She's been calling for a solid week.

Well, you see, this is a good thing.

No, it isn't.

No, it isn't. No.

That's why I saved it for the last.

Well, Jason, she probably wants me to come crawling back to my old job, hat in

hand, virtually admitting it was a mistake to quit in the first place.

Well, at least call Channel 19. Reset that interview.

Oh, Jason, what's the point?

Honey, you're just confused.

You're thinking, here you are, out of work. You made a mistake by quitting

job. You're feeling a little over the hill.

But there's another hill, Maggie. There's another. There's a huge hill out

there, a mountain bigger.

When she thinks about that, she'll feel better.

I can't believe you wanted me to scrunch down on the...

I have an image to maintain.

Yeah. Did you hear me complaining?

Oh, well, maybe I could just wear a bag over my head.

That's not a bad idea. A couple of eyeballs.

Mike!

Guys? Mom!

No, no, your mom has enough on her mind. Don't give her any more headaches.

She's been having a rough time these days, and you all know why.

Why?

Well, because mom's been bombing out in the job market, and she feels like dog

meat. I didn't know that.

that you mentioned it, Benny. I never even understood why Mom went to work in

the first place.

I mean, she did a pretty good job just hanging out here at home.

You know, I mean, I wish some guy had come along and married me and paid my

bills and bought me pretty dresses.

You know what I mean.

I should have known you two wouldn't understand.

I mean, how could you? Hey, look, if you're so smart, why don't you tell us

Mom needs to get a job?

Okay. To feel vital.

To be a productive, self -reliant cog in the machinery of society.

To forge her own identity.

Just like I thought. She doesn't have a clue.

Honey, you coming to bed soon?

Oh, wait a minute, sweetheart. I have to finish retyping my resume.

Well, it looked fine to me before.

Are you kidding?

It finally dawned on me what was wrong with it. What?

Well, it's obvious.

Any fool can see it.

I don't see it.

My name.

It's in all capital letters.

So?

Well, don't you think that's kind of self -important?

It's 12 .30 in the morning. Maybe you should do this when you're thinking a

little more clearly.

Not that you're not now.

Honey, I can't do it. I've been walking on eggs around here for three weeks now,

and it's just not working. I've got to be honest with you. Changing your resume

because your name is in capital is not...

There, I said it.

Well, then why do you think I haven't been hired?

Well, now, that's an excellent question, Maggie.

That's the essential question here. I think our time would be very

spent if we just thought about that for a while and discussed all the possible

reasons. Maybe I should triple -space this.

No, no, no, honey, no. Forget typing.

No deal with the question here. Why do you think you haven't been hired?

Possibly some men are intimidated by a talented, sexy blonde.

Do you believe that?

I'd like to.

I think you're losing your perspective.

No, I am losing my mind. All I want is a job where I feel needed.

Carol was right.

How could she be?

Look, I'll be up in a few minutes, okay?

Okay.

I love you. Love you, too.

What are you doing up?

I was worried about you.

Oh, you were?

Mom, I just want you to know that I'll love you even if no one on earth will

hire you.

Why, thank you, Benjamin.

Mom, you don't need a job to feel good. I mean, I've never had a job and I feel

great.

You know, I've never looked at it that way.

You should. I mean, I eat, I watch TV, I do my homework.

Sometimes I don't even do my homework.

Sounds very nice.

It is.

So, are you done worrying now?

Well, let's put it this way, Ben.

I'm very glad we had this talk.

You know, you'd feel even better if we split a wedge of pie.

Not bad.

Oh, here's your breakfast, Michael.

What am I supposed to do with this?

Eat it.

Pardon me?

Eat, sit, enjoy.

Oh, a hot breakfast. What an interesting idea.

Morning. How do you want them, Carol? Scrambled, over easy, or sunny side up?

Oh, I usually just have two.

Mm -hmm. Not anymore.

What's going on?

Oh, she's lost her mind. Pets, sir.

Morning. Hi, Benny. Pancakes or eggs? Sausage or ham?

Sure.

Morning.

And now that we're all together...

I have an announcement to make.

I had an enlightening talk last night with a very wise man.

And he helped me realize that I've put too much importance on this job hunt and

it's getting in the way of more important things.

So I've decided to just be happy taking care of the family I love.

You got no more flapjacks?

You're a pig.

I'm so glad you had that talk with that very wise man.

And he loves you very much.

Yeah, even... if you didn't give him a piece of pie.

So let's get this house in order.

I've got a list here of chores that have been neglected for a very long time.

Some kind of joke, right?

No, Mike. If I'm going to be home, I'm going to do a good job.

Okay. Who's the wise guy who spoke to Mom last night?

Well, your mom's right. Everybody has to pull their own weight.

Well, thank you, sweetheart.

I rented you a rototiller.

It'll be delivered this afternoon.

Oh, boy.

Oh, that's your bus, Ben.

Mike, Carol, you should go. You'll be late. Don't forget your lunches.

Mom, I'm only going to be gone for one day.

So, in the middle of my summation, I look up, and the jury foreman is asleep.

Can you imagine?

Doctor?

Well, I guess.

Juries are not the only people who find me boring.

No, this was completely unprofessional. I'm very sorry. I had a very big,

enormous breakfast, and I didn't even want it. I had sausages.

I had pancakes.

Anyway, I'm sorry. I'll see you next week, and no charge for this session,

obviously. Obviously.

Oh, no.

spoiled the surprise.

Maggie, we have to have a calm, rational talk.

Okay. Get a job!

What? I'm sorry, it's my stomach talking, not my head.

You don't like my cape on medley?

I really don't think that you're nearly as happy being at home as you seem to

be. Oh, of course I'm happy, Jason. Look!

three different cheeses.

I'm very flattered that you took my advice last time. No, no, no. I didn't

your advice.

I took Ben's.

Ben's?

The very wise man was Ben?

Well, he made a lot of sense. He said I didn't need a job to be happy.

Well, what does he know about jobs, Maggie? He's 11 years old. He's never

a day in his life.

Well, that was his point.

You know, he's just made it easier for me to accept the fact that there was

simply no jobs out there for me.

Honey, the only thing keeping you out of the job market is pride.

What? Pride, honey. There is a job out there for you. Jason, I followed up on

every single lead. Except one. How many times has Susan called?

Yeah, about my old job.

Right. What was wrong with your old job?

Well, I'll tell you.

I'm waiting.

Well, it, uh... Admit it, honey, you loved your old job and you found it very

rewarding for three years.

Yeah, but... And you were good at it, Maggie.

I was pretty good at it, wasn't I? You still are.

Come on, it's sitting there waiting for you. What's stopping you?

Gee, I wonder what little Ben would advise.

Hello, old desk.

Hello, old chair.

Hi.

I'm back.

Maggie!

Well, Susan, I figured to heck with my pride. I owe it to you to hear what you

have to say, but if you feel that it's something that I'd want, then that's

enough for me, and you know how I hate to dick or so.

You got it.

Here. What? You left this in your desk?

Actually, Corrine's desk now. She said it was junk and just wanted to toss it,

but I said, no, these are Maggie's memories.

You mean what you've been calling me about all week?

Is this junk?

Sooner I get done with Mom's chores, the sooner I'm out of here.

I wouldn't have cheered Mom up if I would have known it would lead to this.

Perfect.

Hey!

Sorry! Oh, you're sorry? That makes it okay?

Hey, I need your... Who

left the fertilizer right in the middle of the walkway?

Want me to hose you off?

I'll hose you.

situation thing.

Not the situation.

You have to get mom a job fast.

Volunteer work. Anything.

Here she comes.

up what was left of my career, and it all fit in a little box, which I'm going

to put in the attic with the other junk.

It's okay, baby.

I am not a baby. I'm a grown -up.

Oh, Jason.

Well, who needs a stupid job anyway?

Honey, come on. You don't have to be super mom.

You don't have to be super reporter. You don't have to be super anything.

You just have to be Maggie.

Who I happen to love very much, by the way.

So you're not disappointed in me?

Of course not.

If you're happy being at home, then I'm happy.

You don't seem happy. I'm happy.

You're not. I am. You're not. I am. Okay, I believe you.

Okay. Fine.

So, home it is then.

Yeah. It's settled then.

Good.

And I'm happy too.

Good.

Are you sure you're not disappointed in me? Absolutely.

Good. Done.

The only way I'd be disappointed in you is if you were choosing home because

you're afraid of more rejection.

Uh -huh.

But since that isn't the case here, then I'd say bully.

I mean, unless you want. the increased self -esteem that comes with having your

own career, then I say forget sending the resumes, forget the interviews,

especially that one at Channel 19 in 45 minutes.

Enjoy your decision to stay at home.

Wallow in the warmth of your family cleaving under your bosom.

He is disappointed in me.

Mom?

Yes, Ben?

I have to talk.

Mom, you remember everything I said last night about you not needing a job to

feel good?

Mm -hmm.

It was a total lie.

Thank you for your time.

Thank you.

Yes, ma 'am, we're all communists here at News 19.

Uh -huh, that's why the news comes out like that.

Yeah, uh -huh, thank you for calling.

Excuse me, I'm here to see Mr.

Sidlovich. But if he's busy, that's fine. I'll just leave.

Who needs more rejection?

Pardon? No?

Oh, wait.

Okay.

Just get comfortable and we'll be with you in the teeniest of moments.

Security, please.

I swear, I've been back and forth on this thing so many times, I don't know

I want anymore.

Newsroom, hurry.

No, I do know what I want.

You do?

Heck, I know who I am.

Who the hell are you? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm... Shauna Stahl!

Well, you have the very same name as our anchorwoman.

No, no, no, no. I'm Maggie Seaver.

Oh. Well, you're not a nut. You have an appointment.

Thanks!

Maggie Fever.

Mr. Sidlovich. Ever written TV news before?

No. Radio?

Afraid not.

Broadcast experience?

Zilch.

You sound like anchor material.

Just a little news director joke.

A joke?

You're making a joke?

You didn't find it amusing?

Well, not particularly.

And you know why?

I have just gone through 27 turndowns for job interviews. It stopped being

amusing around 15.

Where are you going?

Okay, you really want to go through this job interview?

Let's start with my resume.

You'll see two years as a researcher at Newsweek, 14 years as a housewife, and

three years at a neighborhood paper, and you're going to say, she's not ready

for TV.

Excuse me, you aren't trying to get this job, right?

Sure, but if I'm not underqualified, then I am overqualified, or I'm too old,

my name is in all capital letters.

But you know what, Mr. Sidlovich?

It doesn't matter.

Because somebody will hire me. I know that now. I learned that from my family,

but you probably don't give a hoot about them either. Good day.

Wait a minute.

I get my chance to hire you.

I've read your stuff. I like it. That's why you're here. That's how it works.

Okay. Make it quick.

Okay.

Now, here's the deal.

I got this writing job open because the guy that had it before quit to go to a

bigger market.

I need someone who knows who they are, who'll do a good job, and who will stick

around here for a while.

And Shauna Small needs somebody good writing for her so that she doesn't, God

forbid, start out living again.

Follow me?

Not really. Now, we do local news for Long Island. We have won six awards, by

the way.

And if all Shauna has her baby next month during the ratings sweep the way

is supposed to.

Maybe we can pick up a couple of points and I won't have to jerk my kid out of

USC.

What do you think?

I hear it's a great school.

About the job.

It sounds very exciting.

Do you want the job or not?

Well, of course I do. Well, you're hired.

Okay. Okay, now get out of here.

Hired.

You know, you work for us.

We pay you.

Starting now.

You mean you?

You want me?

Oh, to the core of me.

Looks good.

Who the heck ever heard of spring cleaning in the fall?

Well, in some parts of the world, it is spring.

Yeah, why don't you find out where and go there?

You guys can watch up for dinner now.

We're probably going out to celebrate Mom's new job.

Well, that would be nice, Ben, but we've got to let her know, even if it didn't

work out, that we're behind her, whether she's working or not working, right?

Hello, Ben Seaver. How may I help you?

Mom, how do you... Okay, bye.

What'd she say, Ben?

She said she wants us to turn on Channel 19 immediately.

So for all your housecleaning needs, it's Butler in a bucket.

Oh, funny, Mom. Really funny.

What else did she say?

Today, Channel 19 experienced some growing pains of its own.

Thank you.

late this afternoon to a bouncing baby girl, which many of you may have seen

live right here on News 19, and we are very sorry about that.

Good job on the air.

And as you may have noticed, I'm a new addition, too.

I've just joined News 19 as a news writer, but while Shauna's on maternity

leave, Dr.

Klaus is anchoring, Ricardo's doing the weather, and somehow I've ended up on

the air. But Shauna will be back.

because she's needed just as much here as she is at home.

And that's something that we all need to hear once in a while, even if we do

have the Beck family on Earth.

For News 19, I'm Maggie Malone.

Is this great or what?

Yeah, it's my Maggie.

Malone.

Growing pains will continue in a moment.

You have a Maggie Malone?

Oh, Jason, my job, it's just what I do. My family is who I am.

I mean, sure, I'm Maggie Malone on the two, but here at home, I'm Maggie,

Seaver, wife, and lover.

And you're so good at it.

Nothing's changed. I always will be.

Okay, everybody, single file and behave yourself.

Here she is, no pushing, no shoving.

Gosh, it's her, Maggie Malone!

everybody. Show's over.

Hey, Steven, what are you up to?

Nothing.

Oh, yeah. From now on, it's Ben Malone.